


When The World Stops

by SweetToothFox



Series: Come Home To Me [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, BDSM Scene, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Bondage, Bondage and Discipline, Bottom Aaron Hotchner, Bottom Derek Morgan, Bottom Spencer Reid, Collaring Ceremony, Collars, Consensual Kink, Daddy Kink, Dom Emily Prentiss, Dom Penelope Garcia, Dom/sub, Dominant Reader, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Handcuffs, Heavy BDSM, Hurt Spencer Reid, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, Oblivious Spencer Reid, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pegging, Platonic BDSM, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Power Play, Praise Kink, Reader has a lot of feelings, Reader-Insert, Rope Bondage, Sex Toys, Shibari, Smut, Spanking, Spencer Reid and the reader have fun, Sub Aaron Hotchner, Sub Derek Morgan, Sub Emily Prentiss, Sub Penelope Garcia, Sub!Spencer, Sub!Spencer Reid, Submissive Spencer Reid, Threats of Violence, Top Derek Morgan, Vaginal Sex, Vibrators, Wedding, Wedding Night, collaring, dom!reader, primal play, top reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 73
Words: 182,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25734643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetToothFox/pseuds/SweetToothFox
Summary: When Spencer Reid approaches the reader about the BDSM lifestyle, you're surprised at first. You promise that it'll just be introducing him and it's just because you're the best person to introduce him to the world of BDSM, and that's what it was for a while. You were enjoying yourselves. But when you start developing feelings, you don't know how to confront it. When the reader goes to the team, eyebrows are lifted and advice is given.Previously titled 'Green, Yellow, Red'.Inspired by Every Me and Every You, but Spencer is submissive and the reader is dominant.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid/Reader, Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss/Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss/Spencer Reid/Reader, Derek Morgan/Reader, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid/Reader, Emily Prentiss/Reader, Emily Prentiss/Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia/Reader, Penelope Garcia/Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia/Spencer Reid/Reader, Penelope Garcia/Spencer Reid/You, Spencer Reid & Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid & Reader, Spencer Reid & You, Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Series: Come Home To Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030812
Comments: 282
Kudos: 389





	1. The Beginning of Something Special

**Author's Note:**

> Hi readers!  
> This fic is inspired by Every Me and Every You, the wonderful wattpad fanfiction with a submissive reader and dominant Spencer Reid. In this, the roles are reversed, and the story is different, but there are some similar elements.  
> I try to avoid the use of (Y/N) as much as possible, but please use this or a similar chrome attachment in order to let it flow as smoothly as possible: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/interactivefics/pcpjpdomcbnlkbghmchnjgeejpdlonli?hl=en  
> Leave any and all feedback.

Spencer Reid was always the shy, timid one on the office, at least when it came to relationships. He blushed or turned away when sex was mentioned, unless it was for a case. He shied away from conversations about weekend plans and our partners. Which is why I was surprised when he caught me in the elevator on my way home and tried to start a casual conversation but aiming to ask a question.

“What- what are you up to this weekend?” He stuttered.

I shrugged. “Netflix, I’ve got an – um – party tomorrow night, so we’ll see how that goes, but hopefully relaxing.”

“What kind of party?”

I chuckled. “You don’t want to ask that, pretty boy.”

We reached the bottom floor and we slowly walked to the garage.

He stumbled over his words a few times, then cleared his throat and spoke, “Is it a play party?”

I stopped and turned to him, letting the door swing shut before speaking, “Why are you asking me this?”

I watched his hands shift on his bag strap, “I’m – I’m interested.” His eyes dropped.

“In what?” I said slowly.

“The lifestyle. BDSM. Kink. All of it.” He said quickly, “I’ve been reading and you’ve – you’ve talked about it…”

“Are you asking me to be your play partner?” I asked.

He nodded.

I thought for a second. “Can you come over to mine? This isn’t the best place to talk.” He nodded. “I’ll text you my address.”

***

On the way home, I thought over my options. This would affect our entire dynamic, but I was also probably his best option for safety. I knew his past and he trusted me.

I pulled into my driveway, turned off my car, and took a deep breath as I watched Spencer pull up and park on the street. I got out, unlocked my door, and we walked in without a word.

“Do you want something to drink?” I offered.

“Water, please.” His voice was more timid than usual.

I filled two glasses with water and gestured for him to sit down across from me at the table. We both collected our thoughts, and I spoke.

“So, what are you interested in? Specifically?” I said.

He bit his lip, “Bondage, punishment, orgasm control, vibrators, spanking…” he hesitated, “I don’t know enough to say anything conclusive.”

I nodded slowly. “Why me?”

“You know the most about it of anyone I know, and I trust you. I’ve seen you deal with subjects like this on cases neutrally and confront others when they make assumptions. You know what I’ve been through and I trust you with my life.”

I nodded, taking a drink as I turned it all over in my head. “If you don’t want to do this with me, I can put you in touch with people I trust to show you stuff and guide you through all of this.” I said carefully, “But if you want to do this with me, I have rules. And limits of my own.”

“I trust you.” He said. “I want you to teach me.”

There’s the Spencer Reid I know. Eager to learn.

“Why do you want to explore this?” I asked.

“From what I’ve read and understand, it’s a way of handing over control and releasing stress. My job – our job – is stressful and I have all these figures in my head and statistics but that doesn’t help when stuff goes bad.” He took a drink, clearly trying to figure out how much to tell me, and I waited patiently. “From what I understand, being a submissive is a way to be able to forget, relinquish control, and... I want that.”

Clearly, he’d thought this out. The case we’d just closed was one involving children, and one had died before we managed to find the unsub. Spencer clearly blamed himself, even though it wasn’t his fault, and had been carrying the weight of his death all the way home.

“Do you know what the stoplight system is?”

He nodded, “Same idea as a stoplight. Red means stop immediately, yellow is slow down or try something else. Green means you can continue.” He rattled off, “Some people also have a safe word outside of colors. They should be short, easy to remember, and unrelated to the scene.”

I smiled. Of course, the kid had done his research.

“What about hard and soft limits?”

“Hard limits are anything that’s an automatic no-go. Completely off-limits. A soft limit is an action in which a submissive hesitates or places strict conditions on.”

“Good.” I said. “When was the last time you were tested?”

“Two weeks ago, and I haven’t done anything since.” He reported, “I’m completely clean, and okay with condoms, but like most men I don’t prefer them. You?”

“Last week, after a party where I wasn’t the safest, but I’m clean. I have an IUD. I don’t like condoms either.”

He nodded, unsure of what else to say.

“Do you want to do something tonight?” I asked.

He hesitated, then nodded again, “If you’re okay with it.”

“We won’t do anything serious, and I’ll stay away from my full dominatrix persona. That’s not a first-time thing. What do you want to try?”

He bit his lip, and I couldn’t help but watch. Gods, those lips. “Spanking. Bondage. Maybe a cock ring. And… breath play.”

I nodded. Basic stuff. “What are your hard limits?”

“Drugs, blood, guns, feet, defecation or urination, consensual non-consent. I don’t know if there’s anything else.” He rattled off. “Is that okay?”

“Of course. I stood up, moving around to rub his shoulders, “Your hard limits are never up for debate. What about nicknames? Degradation?”

“I’m okay with that. I’ll let you know if we find something I don’t like.” He hesitated, “I prefer degradation.”

I smiled. “That’s okay. So do I. We need to discuss some basic negotiation and rules now, okay? If you like what we do tonight, we’ll discuss further.” I waited for him to assent. “I use the stoplight system and my alternative safe word is ‘kiwi’. For this scene, if you say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ I will. Okay?” A nod. “You will call me ma’am or mistress. You will not cum unless given permission and you will not touch me your yourself without asking. If you have a question, ask. Got it?”

He nodded, then caught himself. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” I trailed one of my hands down his shoulder, then up to lightly grasp his throat.

He gasped and tensed up, hips twitching. I smiled.

“My bedroom is the door at the end of the hall. It’s connected to the bathroom, which is the second door on the right. You will strip and leave your clothes folded in the bathroom, close the door, and kneel at the foot of the bed. Knees spread, hands behind your back, eyes lowered. Do not touch yourself. Understood?”

His voice was hoarse, “Yes, mistress.”

I stepped back. “Go.”

He stood up eagerly and walked down the hall. I waited until I heard the bedroom and bathroom doors close, then walked to my hall closet to grab my outfit from the bag I had in the closet, packed for the party Saturday night. I ducked into the half bath, stripped, folded my clothes, and got dressed. Then, I stood in the hall, waiting. Five minutes later, I entered the bedroom.

I saw Spencer perk up from his kneeling position as the door opened and my heels clicked on the wooden floor. He was fully naked, legs spread, and I drank in the sight. I walked to my dresser, pulling out a blindfold and approaching Spencer, careful not to let him see me.

“I’m going to put a blindfold on you, Spence. Is that okay?”

“Yes, mistress.”

I slipped it over his eyes, making sure it was in place before stepping away, getting rope and a cock ring and placing them on the bed. “Stand up.” I ordered.

Yes, mistress.” He rose unsteadily to his feet.

“Arms out. I’m going to give you a chest harness. What are your safe words?”

“Red or kiwi for stop, yellow for slow down, green for all good.” He recited, using the same tone he did for the millions of statistics and facts he held in his head.

I picked up purple rope, holding it against his skin and admiring the contrast. He gasped at my touch, then relaxed. He seemed to become more comfortable as the rope began to hold him. I finished and stepped away, admiring my work.

I took his hand, leading him to the full-length mirror in the corner of my room. I wrapped my arms around his waist, trailing my hands down his hips. He was half-hard already and groaned when I touched him. His arms tensed, clearly fighting not to move. As he did, I slipped on the cock ring and he whined.

“What was that?” I asked, voice deep in his ear.

“Thank you, mistress.” He gasped. “Thank you for touching me.”

“Good little slut.” I said, reaching up to gently pull the blindfold off.

His eyes widened as he drank in the sight of the ropes pressed against his skin. A modified pentagram with a handle in the center of his chest. His eyes then travelled over to me.

I wore an under-breast corset and thigh-high stockings with a garter belt. My spiked platform heels made me slightly taller than him, and he clearly enjoyed that.

“Thank you, ma’am.” He gasped. “It’s beautiful.”

“Get on the bed.” I ordered, “Arms together above your head, legs apart.”

“Yes, mistress.” His eyes travelled across his body once more, then he eagerly walked to the bed.

“Color?” I thought I knew, but I needed to make sure.

“Green, ma’am.” He said, positioning himself.

I admired his body, pale and lean with dustings of brown hair, spread out for me. I grabbed padded cuffs and quickly secured his arms together and began trailing my fingers down his body. He had broad shoulders leading into defined pecs and strong abs, only defined by him holding his breath as I touched him. His hips formed a perfect ‘V’ to his cock, laying fully erect against his stomach. His legs, spread so wide his ankles almost reached the sides of the bed, were tense.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” I whispered.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

I ran my palm along his cock, watching him gasp and twitch. My finger trailed across his tip, and he moaned. Holy fuck, that was hot.

“Turn over. On your hands and knees. Well… elbows.”

“Yes, Mistress.” He obeyed eagerly, wiggling his ass a little.

His shoulders were so well defined in this position I wanted to take a picture, but that wasn’t something we’d discussed. I just wished I had his eidetic memory. I rubbed his ass.

“Count and thank me for each.” Before he could respond, I struck him lightly.

“Ah- one- thank you, ma’am.” He gasped.

Again. “Two, thank you, ma’am.”

Again, harder. “Three, thank you, ma’am.” His voice cracked a little.

Again, even harder. “Holy- four, thank you, ma’am.”

Once more. “Five, thank you, ma’am.”

I smiled, rubbing his ass, now a little pink. He hummed and pushed back into my hand. I climbed into the bed, back against the headboard. He looked up at me, eyes blown with lust. I spread my legs, and his mouth almost watered at the sight.

“Ma’am, can I,” He hesitated, “May I use my mouth to pleasure you?”

I nodded, gripping his hair and bringing him towards me. I let him move to place his elbows on either side of my hips, wrists resting on my stomach. He began to circle my clit slowly, sucking gently. I bit my lip, pushing him towards me a little more.

He understood and moaned against me, focusing on sucking my clit, tongue circling and lapping up my wetness. How was he so good at this? I was already aroused from having Spencer like this, and didn’t give warning before I came, pushing him against me and moaning, hand tensing in his hair.

Barely a second later, I remembered he was new at this, and let go of his hair, but he stayed where he was, lapping at my entrance.

“Spence, color?” I asked, panting a little.

He moved back a little to look at me, grinning. “Green, ma’am. I- I want you to make me cum.”

I nodded. “Turn back over.”

He obeyed and I moved to straddle him, grinding against him gently. His breath caught in his throat as he watched me move.

“Please. Please, ma’am. I want to be inside of you.”

I smiled, using the handle on his harness to kiss his neck as I began to lower myself onto his dick, feeling him groan into my shoulder. I began moving up and down, loving his noises, clenching around him just to make him moan more.

Before long, he was whining and begging. “Ma’am, please, you feel so good, I want to cum, I want to cum in you, please.”

I smiled, standing on my knees to pull the rock ring off before sinking back down, moving faster. I could hear him getting close. I leaned in.

“Cum for me, Spencer.”

That was all he needed. He groaned and began clenching and twitching, and I felt him cum in me. I clenched around him, letting him completely empty inside of me. We were both still for a moment, catching our breaths. He rested his head on my shoulder.

“That was-“ He panted, “Holy shit. That was amazing.”

I smiled, moving off of him and undoing the handcuffs before getting wipes. He wiped himself down as I untied the harness, running my hands over the light rope marks, smiling.

“Thank you,” He said, voice barely more than a whisper. “Thank you for all of that.”

“Of course, I’m happy to.” I said, slowly stripping. He turned to me, seeing me fully naked for the first time.

“You’re beautiful,” he gasped, “Really. Stunning.”

I ducked my head, slightly embarrassed, “Thank you.”

“Can I have a shirt?” he asked.

I smiled, opening a drawer and pulling out a big shirt. He failed to catch it and fell on his back, laughing. I snorted, pulling on a shirt, and bending down to undo my heels. He groaned, turning over to grab the shirt, and I got another good look as his ass.“Do you want some cream for that?” I asked.

He turned to me, confused, then saw where I was looking. “Oh. Yeah, that would be really nice.”

I walked to the bathroom and grabbed a tube of aloe vera, and he laid on his stomach, tensing a little when I first touched him, then relaxing as it began soothing him. When I finished, I put the cream on the bedside table.

“There, that should be better.” I said.

He turned over, facing me again, clearly coming down from his orgasm high. I sat next to him, pulling his head into my chest. “You were amazing, Spence, that was so great.”

He looked up at me, “Really?”

I nodded, “That was one of the best first scenes I’ve ever had.” That was the truth.

He was right about how much he needed it, he looked happier and more relaxed. He hummed happily, “I really like that. Thank you.”

“Of course, pretty boy.” I chuckled at the nickname, “I loved doing that with you. Do you- do you want to sleep over tonight? I can drive you home if you want and bring your car over in the morning or staying here. I’ll take the couch.”

He shook his head, “I want to stay here, if that’s okay.”

I nodded and grabbed a pillow and blanket, ready to move to the couch.

“Wait.” He said. “Can you stay with me?”

I thought for a second, then nodded. “Of course, if you’re sure about it.”

He nodded. “I don’t think I should be alone. I read about subdropping and I want to avoid that, and I like cuddling after intercourse.”

“Yeah, of course, I completely understand.” I said, settling back into bed and pulling him into my chest.

I reached over to the light switch by my bed and turned off the light, settled back into the pillows, and listened to make sure Spencer’s breathing slowed before falling asleep myself.


	2. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and the reader discuss pasts and boundaries.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF NON-CONSENSUAL P*RN AND ATTEMPTED R@PE

I woke up in the morning, confused by the weight on my chest, then opened my eyes and everything flooded back. Spencer, the rope, the sex, all of it. I looked down to see him curled up on my chest, torso between my legs, breathing softly. I smiled, brushing my hands through his hair, collecting my thoughts.

 _We really did that_. I thought. _I had kinky sex with Spencer Reid. He asked me to be his play partner. Holy shit._

I’d definitely dreamed about this before, even touched myself a few times to the thought of having him on his knees for me. But this wasn’t a dream. This really just happened.

I reached over to my bedside table, retrieving my phone and making sure there weren’t any important messages. A few from Emily, JJ, and Penelope, who’d gone out drinking the night before. A reminder about the play party tonight, a few emails, and a few other messages. Nothing crucial. It was still late morning, and I felt no need to get out of bed, so I just settled back, petting Spencer’s hair.

He mumbled something and turned over, back now against my chest. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his chest, definitely not snapping a picture of him curled up against me. Just for my own personal records.

A couple minutes later, he turned over and opened his eyes slowly. “What- where am I?”

“Hey, Spence,” I smiled, “You’re okay, we’re at my house.”

He groaned and turned to face me, smiling. “(Y/N)! Hey. Sorry.”

I shrugged, “No worries. You just woke up, we’re all weird when we first wake up.”

We’re not all that adorable, though. His morning voice is rough and he’s kind of unfocused, and he needs several cups of coffee and a book before he’s actually awake.

“Last night really happened, didn’t it?” He asked. “You, the harness, the sex, all of it?”

I nodded, smiling. “Yeah, all of it happened.” I couldn’t really believe it myself.

He hummed and sat up, facing me. “I really enjoyed it.”

“Me too, Spence. Now I’m ready for coffee, so you have to move.”

He smiled and shifted away, and I slowly got out of bed, grabbing a pair of underwear and pulling it on. Spencer sarcastically groaned behind me and I stuck out my tongue at him. He laughed and I went to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and splashing water on my face. Glancing behind me to make sure Reid wasn’t near me, I looked myself in the eyes, breathing slowly.

“Get it together. You’re just play partners.” I said. “It’s casual, you’ve done this before.”

Satisfied with my reminder to myself, I walked to the kitchen and set the coffee pot to brew. Spencer walked out of the bedroom a few minutes leader, dragging his feet, bleary-eyed. He perked up at the smell and sound of coffee brewing.

“You’re an angel.” He muttered, sitting down.

I chuckled and opened my pantry, pulling out cereal containers. “I’ve got a few different kinds of cereal, some fruit, oatmeal, and a couple leftover breakfast sausages.”

“Do you have Lucky Charms?”

“Ooh, boy genius has a sweet tooth,” I teased, “Yeah, do you want them with milk?”

“Nah.” He said. “Marshmallows taste weird saturated.”

I poured a bowl for him and got a bowl of fruit for myself, and we sat down. I knew we needed to discuss what happened last night and how to move forward, but I didn’t want to pressure him. When the coffee pot beeped, I pulled out two mugs and put them and the coffee on the table, then got a spoon and the sugar bowl.

He smiled gratefully and dumped sugar in his mug, filled it with coffee, stirred, and sipped it, humming happily. “Thank you so much.”

I smiled, pouring my own, and sat back, watching him. Gods, those lips. I knew what that mouth could do now, and I wasn’t going to forget it any time soon.

“What do we do from here?” He asked. “Do you want to move forwards? If you want me to find someone else, I understand.”

I shook my head, “I would be happy to introduce you too all of this, Spence. But last night didn’t follow my normal protocols, and we need to discuss a lot more before we try anything else.”

He nodded, “What do you want me to do?”

“I have a list, close to 75 different items, of different items and actions. I ask any of my partners to fill it out and sort it into three categories- yes, maybe, and no. In other words, items in your comfort zone, soft limits, and hard limits. If you want to go over it with me, we can go through it, or you can fill it out on your own and ask questions as you go if you need to.” I explained. “Once I have yours, I look at the overlap and we can determine how scenes go from there. You can also change your list at any time, no questions asked, just tell me.”

He nodded, “Do you want it on paper or over text?”

“Whatever you want.” I shrugged, “I keep a digital copy of everything, but if you’d prefer to write it out, that’s okay. All those materials are kept on an encrypted server I had Garcia make for me. Don’t worry, she doesn’t know what it’s for.”

He nodded. “Thank you, that makes me feel much better about it being digital.”

“Don’t worry, I take the safety and privacy of my partners very seriously. I have a separate phone I only use for messaging my play partners and don’t have any real names saved.”

“Damn, you’ve really got this figured out, don’t you?” he joked.

I shrugged, “I dealt with someone who decided to leak my stuff after a scene that went wrong. I never want to do that to anyone, so safety and privacy is my priority. And any good partner, dom or sub, should keep safety as their priority.”

He nodded. “What else?”

“This partially depends on the list but figuring out our dynamic is the next step. If you think you’d like to try being a dominant as well as a submissive, I’m willing to do that with you. If you want to try something that I’m not comfortable with, I will introduce you to someone who can try it with you and help make sure you’re comfortable.” I thought for a second, “I share several of your hard limits, so I don’t anticipate that being a problem, but we’ll take it one step at a time.”

“Can you,” he thought for a second, “Can you tell me more about your history?”

I nodded, “I first started exploring this via internet porn and fanfiction when I was… still a teenager. I started trying stuff out with my then-boyfriend when I was 16, and that didn’t work out very well. I stayed away from it for a while but got interested again in my junior year of college. My girlfriend was more of a dominant, so I got to try out that side of it. I continued exploring through graduate school, and still have connections with a lot of my old partners. Like I mentioned, I had a partner, a submissive, who I took some videos and pictures with. In a scene, he decided he wanted to be dominant, and forced me into a bad situation. When I pushed him away, he released the videos and pictures with his face blurred. I got it taken down but stayed away again for a while after that.”

His eyes softened, “I’m so sorry about that, (Y/N). That was absolutely wrong of him.”

“I got him arrested on several revenge porn charges and turns out he had a couple other pending charges. He’s serving life in prison.” I shrugged, “I honestly don’t think about him too much anymore.”

Spencer nodded, took several drinks from his coffee cup, and refilled it. “What would you expect from me as your submissive?”

“First of all, the submissive shares power with the dominant in the scene. I will not never force you into anything, and it’s always the submissive that gets to choose whether the scene continues in the way the dominant partner wants.” I said. “Books and movies like _50 Shades of Gray_ get it all wrong.”

“Understood.” He said, but still wanted an answer to the question.

“If we’re partners and you’re my submissive, I except you to not have a sexual relationship with anyone else without telling me, and make sure you’re clean. I will do the same. If I ever go to a party, I’ll follow that and tell you, or take you along if you’re comfortable.” I thought, “When we’re playing, I want you to call me ma’am or mistress unless I specify differently for a scene. Either of us can use the safe words at any time. If you’re gagged, I use a bell or ribbon, and if you drop it, I ungag you. While we continue this dynamic, you will not masturbate or cum without permission, except being with another partner. In some more intense scenes, words such as ‘no’ or ‘stop’ are not treated as safe words. Whether you want to use those is up to you.”

He nodded slowly, “Do I have to answer that now?”

“No, wait until you go through the list and if you want, we can try a more intense scene before you decide.” I advised.

Spencer glanced at his watch, suddenly shocked at the time. “Shit, I need to run some errands today.”

“Go ahead, I’ll text you the list. I won’t go to the party tonight unless you’re okay with it, but take your time deciding. Let me know if you have any questions. Once you’ve done all that, we’ll discuss the toys I have and go shopping.”

His eyes widened, “Shopping?”

I nodded, “Different toys for different partners. I always clean and sanitize everything, but I always get some new toys and special clothing. Don’t try to debate me, it’s something I like doing for my subs.” I had already seen the look in his eyes.

He thought for a second, then nodded, “Fine, but I won’t enjoy it.”

“I doubt that,” I smiled, “But we’ll see. Now go, run your errands, and text me when you’ve finished with the list, but no rush.”

He nodded, starting towards the door.

“Reid!” I called, not moving from my spot.

He turned.

“Pants?” I suggested, glancing at his bare legs.

“Shit.” He muttered. “I’ll work on that.”

He ran to the bathroom, while I just sat back chucking and composing a message to him. He came back, shirt buttoned, and pants buckled, dirty shirt over one arm. “I’ll wash this and bring it back if you want.”

“Up to you. I need to do laundry anyways.” _And I want to have a shirt that smells like you,_ I thought, but I wasn’t going to say that out loud.

He picked up his bag, stuffing the shirt in his bag, and glanced down as if to make sure he was dressed. I got to my feet as he tied his shoes and opened the door.

“See you later, Spence.” I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek.

He blushed and gave a small wave, then left. I closed the door and leaned against the door, finally realizing what I was going.

_I’m going to introduce Spencer Reid to BDSM. This is my dream come true in the weirdest way._

My work phone buzzed, and I walked over to the table, glancing down.

**_Message from: Spencer Reid_   
** **Text me from your alternate number? Mine is (XXX)-XXX-XXXX  
Can’t wait to see the list.**

I grabbed my alternate phone from the bar, creating a new contact and texting him.

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Hey pretty boy. Here’s the list. See you later.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **One attachment.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Thanks. I’ll get back to you soon.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware there will be no consistent updating schedule. I'll update as I write.  
> Comments are welcome!  
> If you'd like me to post the list (which is an actual thing I have created), I will.


	3. Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer go shopping and run into a friend.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning and cooking for the week, doing laundry, repacking my go bag, and waiting for a message back from Spencer. I almost never had my alternate phone’s ringer on, but I did today.

Two hours later, I heard my phone ding loudly and practically sprinted to it.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Finished errands. About to go over the list. I’ll write it out and text you. Should be fast.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Don’t rush, boy genius. I know you read quickly, but you need to consider everything carefully.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **No promises on speed, but I’ll think it all over.**

Good enough. I didn’t really expect him to take as long as most of my other partners, but I wanted to make sure he didn’t feel rushed. I went back to idly doing chores, folding clothes neatly and repacking my go bag. After that, I pulled out my other, similar duffel- my play party bag. I really needed to label them clearly, I’d almost grabbed the wrong one several times. Good thing my play partners liked uniforms. The FBI with some of my toys, not so much.

I double-checked the seals on the bags of each toy, cleaning and moisturizing the leather of my cuffs and outfits and repacked it out of habit. I made sure my impact toys were clean and covered, recoiled my rope, and ended up repacking the entire bag. I organized it the same way every time, but I liked doing it to make sure I knew where everything was.

About an hour later, my phone buzzed again. I was surprised Spencer had taken that long, but I hoped he had truly taken all that time to go over the list.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Here’s the list.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **One attachment.**

I tapped on the image and waited for it to load.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **How do you feel about me coming over tonight?  
** **I can’t stop thinking about last night.  
** **If you want to go to the party that’s okay.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Meet me here in an hour so I have time to go over this. Wear jeans, your black converse, and a blue golf shirt. You don’t need anything else.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Yes, ma’am. ;)**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **We’ll discuss your attitude when you get here.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Shit.**

I chucked and closed the messages, then began going over the list. A couple surprised me, but most were ones I expected. His ‘maybe’ category was big and annotated with comments and remarks. The ‘no’ category didn’t have any notes, but the ‘yes’ did contain a few, mostly comments on situational stuff.

Benefits of dating the nerdiest person ever: He never says anything without fully explaining it.

 _Not dating,_ I reminded myself, _Just fucking._

Fifty-five minutes later, I stood and went to my closet, considering my options for a second before pulling out a basic skirt and low-cut blouse. Under it, I wore a lacy pair of underwear and the matching bra. I pulled on a pair of low wedge heels and grabbed my bag, tossing in both my phones and my wallet, placing it on the table and waiting.

At exactly 3:27, an hour after I’d told him to, the doorbell rang. I took a breath and walked to the door, opening it to see Spencer, bouncing on his toes excitedly.

“Hey, Spencer.” I said, “Come on in.”

He did, and I took the opportunity to look him over. Pale blue golf shirt, dark blue jeans, black converse. Perfect.

“Hey,” he said, “You look- wow. You look amazing.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Spencer. Are you ready to go?”

He nodded, then hesitated. “What do I call you?”

“You can call me my name when we’re in public, Spence, unless we’re specifically doing something different.” I chuckled, “You don’t need to look so embarrassed. It’s a good question to ask.”

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. “I read that in some more casual dynamics the partners don’t kiss in order to maintain a difference between platonic and romantic relationships. What do you prefer?”

I honestly didn’t know how to answer. Most of my partners had their own ideas and limits about that, or we were romantic. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t expect him to feel the same. After all, he said that he came to me because I knew about this, not because he wanted to be with me.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly, “It’s partially up to what you want, I don’t have an answer right now.”

He shrugged too. “Can we decide later?”

I nodded, opened the door again, and beckoned for him to follow me out the door.

“Let’s do some shopping for now."


	4. Shopping

We drove for a few minutes quietly. I kept waiting for Spencer to start talking, like he often did when the room was quiet, but he didn’t.

“Spence, just because we’re doing this doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself.” I said, keeping my eyes on the road, “This is no different from when we go on a shopping trip or are driving to a case site. You can be yourself.”

He nodded and visibly relaxed and began rattling off statistics about sexual acts and related topics. I was unsurprised he had those statistics in his head. I listened curiously until we arrived at the shopping center, where I turned off the car and turned to him. He trailed off.

“If you ever get uncomfortable or see something you don’t like, tell me and we’ll leave, no more questions asked. I will be asking you to pick some toys, and I’ll be choosing others, but you always have the right to say no. Okay?”

He nodded, “Got it. Thank you.”

“Of course, Reid. Let’s go.” I got out of the car and he followed my lead. We walked towards the shop as I locked the car, and I could see Spencer getting excited and nervous.

The bell jingled as the shop door opened. I waved to the cashiers as Spencer looked around.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” A voice called from the back of the shop.

I perked up at the familiar voice. “Jenna?”

I glanced a mane of blue-green hair and was tackled into a hug by one of my oldest friends, Jenna. She was glowing, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“How are you?” She asked. “It’s been a while. How’s the fancy FBI job? And who is this?” Her eyes ran up and down Spencer’s body, and he waved shyly.

“Jenna, this is my coworker, Doctor Spencer Reid. Reid, this is Jenna, an old play partner of mine.”

She held out her hand, “Hi! I’m Jenna, she/her pronouns. Nice to meet you.”

“Dr. Reid, he/him,” he said, quickly catching on, then glanced at me, “Ex-girlfriend?”

I shook my head, “Nah, casual play partner. Jenna’s married.”

“Yep! Wife of, well, depends of if you go by when our ceremony was or when we legally got married.” She held up her left hand, revealing a gold band with inlaid rainbow sapphires, “Why, are you her new boyfriend?”

Reid glanced at me, unsure how to answer, but Jenna looked between us and understood. “Still figuring it out?”

We both nodded.

“Okay! Let me know if you ever want a third.” She winked and went back to her shopping, leaving me chuckling and Spencer kind of shocked.

“Sorry about that,” I chuckled, getting a basket before beginning to walk around the clothing displays and considering how different items would look on Spencer, “She’s a lot to handle at first. But she means well, and she’s a sweetheart.”

“I just… I didn’t know you had connections. Like, I did, but I somehow forgot that we might see people you know. Sorry.” He smiled.

“Don’t apologize. You’re still new to all of this.” I shrugged, then picked up a lacy jockstrap and held it up. Spencer’s eyes went wide, and I smiled. “That’s a keeper.”

He clearly wanted to argue but knew better. By the time we got through clothing, he was pointing out some pieces that suited my taste, becoming more confident.

“Do I get to try any of it on?” He asked.

I shook my head, “No, they don’t even have open bathrooms here. You can put it on over your clothes on the floor, but there have been too many dressing room incidents. And all clothing is final sale.”

He nodded, then understood what I was implying and blushed. “Oh. Right.”

I led him over to the toys, beginning with the basics: cock rings, dildos, and restraints.

“Have you measured?” I asked, turning to him as I considered cock rings. “The one I used last night is a more adjustable silicone one, but it’s nice to have one that fits well.”

He blushed deeper. “Yeah, I’ve measured.”

“And?” I raised an eyebrow.

He bit his lip, considering answering.

“Spencer.” My voice wasn’t louder, but harder. “Color?”

“Green,” he muttered.

“If you don’t want to say it out loud, grab it off the shelf.”

He nodded and reached out, taking the appropriate size off the shelf and handing it to me. I dropped it in the basket, and we continued. Once we were more hidden, I grabbed his collar, so we were face to face.

“Next time I ask you something, you will answer me.” I hissed. “Got it?”

“I understand.” He confirmed, “Ma’am.”

I smiled and released him, continuing as if nothing had happened. Later, I held up an anal plug and looked at him.

“Have you ever tried any anal play before?” I asked.

He bit his lip, then nodded.

“How much?”

“I’ve had anal intercourse.”

I smiled, put the single plug back, and took a 3-part set off the shelf. I led him over to the dildo display. “Pick one.”

He twisted his hands around themselves, eyes scanning the shelves. They were each labelled with materials and measurements, but I knew he could probably tell by looking at them. He reached out, picking up one that measured about 7 inches including the base, and it would work with my current strap harness. I hummed as at it, then dropped it in the basket. We finished shopping and I handed the basket to him, leading him over to the checkout counter. I gave them my credit card.

“He’s not allowed to use anything but this card. I’m going to get something from the back room, can one of you help me?”

One of the employees, who I hadn’t met before, nodded and led me to the back room. Spencer glanced at me as if to say, ‘please don’t leave me alone’, but I winked and waved as we walked to the back room. I already knew what I was looking for, just didn’t want Spencer to see quite yet. I took down the box I wanted and wrote out a cheque, then asked for a plain bag with paper on top to hide it. The employee obliged, and I walked back into the main part to see Spencer awkwardly holding the bags of toys, talking to Jenna. I hung back, curious to see what he would say.

“So, you’ve been together how long?” she asked.

“We’ve been coworkers for years, but we only started playing together yesterday.” He said. “I’m pretty new to all of this, so…” He trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

“Ooh, fresh meat. Well, like I said, if you ever want another partner, I’m always happy to play.” She was undressing him with her eyes, and he had no idea how to react.

He stuttered over his words, “Good to know. Thanks? Sorry. I don’t know how to react to that. You’re pretty. I’d like that. If (Y/N) is okay with it.”

Jenna glanced over to me, leaning against the cashier’s desk and smirking as I watched, and she winked. Spencer didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, I’m sure she’d love to share to share a tasty treat like you. We’re good at the whole good cop, dirty cop routine.”

I actually snorted in laughter at that, causing Spencer to turn around suddenly, giving me the evil eye. “How long have you been there?”

I shrugged, “Not too long. Let’s go before you melt from embarrassment, Spence.”

As we left, I rolled my eyes at Jenna. “Good cop/dirty cop? Really?”

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a uniform. And that vest…”

I laughed again, “See you later, Jen. Don’t bruise anyone too badly.” I winked as the door closed.

Spencer, bright red with embarrassment, didn’t say anything until we got in the car.

“Is everyone in the community like that?”

I shrugged. “It really depends. Some people are like you in public, and some are outgoing all the time. Jenna’s a stripper, so she’s kind of always like that, but she’s not the mold. It depends on the person and the circle.”

He nodded, “I was just caught off guard, that’s all. She’s pretty, though.” He ducked his head.

“Yeah, she’s cute. If you ever want to do anything with her, I can give you her number or we can set something up.” I started the car. “This stuff is yours, so can we go to your place?”

“What? No. You bought it. It’s yours. You’re just using it on me.”

“No, Spencer, I bought it for you. It’s yours.” I said firmly, “You’re not changing my mind. Now are you okay with us going to your apartment?”

He nodded and I began driving. He looked through the bags at his feet, shifting in his seat. I glanced over to see a small tent forming in his jeans.

“Is anything wrong, Spence?” I queried, voice casual.

He shook his head.

“What was that?”

He groaned, “Nothing’s wrong, ma’am.”

“If you say so. Please remember, I don’t tolerate lying from my subs.”

“I- fuck- I’m excited to get home, ma’am.” He gasped, hand trailing over his bulge.

“Hands off. Now.” I ordered. “Keep them on the dashboard. That’s an order.”

“Yes, Mistress!” he straightened up, putting his hands on the dashboard.

The rest of the drive was silent, but I could tell his mind was running through all the possibilities with the toys we’d bought. The tent didn’t go away. By the time I pulled into the parking lot, he was pushing his legs together and shifting, trying to feel any kind of friction. I didn’t say anything, but he saw me looking at him and stopped.

“Take the bags and go upstairs. Leave your door unlocked but closed. Strip down and stand, hands behind your back and legs apart, at the foot of your bed. Leave the toys in their bags in the bedroom.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

“If you touch, you won’t be allowed to cum tonight.”

“Fuck- yes, ma’am. I understand.” Spencer took a deep breath, grabbed the bags, and walked inside. I waited for a few seconds, then reached into the backseat and grabbed the box from the bag it was hidden in. I pulled out the small package inside and tucked it inside my purse, locked the car, and started to head inside. Realizing I hadn’t yet, I sent a text to the host of the party I’d planned on going to.

**_Message to: Master of the House_   
** **Won’t be coming tonight. Got a new friend.**

**_Message from: Master of the House_   
** **No problem. Have fun.**

With that, I opened the door.


	5. Explorations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer play with your new toys. He reminds you of some of the things he likes.

Reid had left the door unlocked, and I walked quietly inside. Just like the other time I’d been, books covered every available surface, stacked in a way only Spencer understood in ways that defied physics. I walked to his room to see the door open, Spencer standing at attention at the end of the bed as I’d instructed.

I pulled out my phone and glanced down at his list, which I’d kept open. I scanned for a certain item…

 _Pictures/Videos (Private)_.

In his handwriting next to it: _Yes, if they’re kept on that server you mentioned, and I have access to them when requested._

I smiled and raised my phone, capturing my view from the doorway. His shoulders were framed by his bedposts, and his ass was still a little pink. I tucked my phone away, dropped my purse, and walked over to the bags, not acknowledging Spencer at all, but watching to ensure he stayed still. I pulled out the first jockstrap I’d picked up at the store- dusty lavender, completely lace. Not at all practical, but I didn’t care. I also grabbed a pair of leather cuffs, a plain cock ring, and the spreader bar, then walked over to Spencer. His eyes followed me, but the rest of him didn’t move.

I placed the items on the bed. “You’re going to put that on. When I return, I want you on your knees, holding the cuffs in both hands above your head. Leave the spreader bar there. Touch yourself only enough to get hard, then put on the ring.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He said quietly, eyes scanning the toys I’d chosen.

With my current heels I was still shorter than him, but that didn’t matter. We both knew I was in control. I reached up, grabbing his hair and lifting his head so his eyes met mine.

“We’ll discuss your attitude issues from earlier when I return.”

He whined, “Yes, ma’am.”

“You brought this on yourself.” I said, voice teasingly soft, “Now you’re just dealing with the consequences.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry, ma’am.” He gasped, and I released him. He automatically dropped his eyes again.

“Don’t keep me waiting.”

With that, I turned on my heel and left the room, ducking into the bathroom to strip off my shirt and skirt, leaving only my thin bra and panties with my heels. I thought for a second, then took off my heels too. I glanced at my watch, decided I didn’t care if he was ready, and walked back into the bedroom.

Spencer was on his knees, hands shaking a little as he held the cuffs above his head as if presenting an offering. His knees were spread, and I could see the straps of the jockstrap pressing into his ass.

I walked forward, taking the cuffs out of his hands, and he kept his hands where they were. Clearly, he’d read more about etiquette, and was not aiming to make another mistake.

“Hands behind your back.” I ordered.

He obeyed immediately and I bent down to cuff them, making sure I could slip a finger between the cuffs and his wrists. As I did, I trailed one hand around his hips, but took it away before I got to where he wanted me.

“Stand up, bend over the bed and present that pretty ass for me.”

“Yes, mistress.” He rushed to stand up and bent over, resting his on the bedsheets and pushing his ass out, cuffed hands settling into the small of his back.

“Listen to me carefully, because I will not be as forgiving next time. If you call me ma’am or mistress, over text or in person, it will be as a sign of respect. You will not use that sarcastically or to get a reaction. You address me as ma’am because I tell you to.” I said, tone harsh. “And don’t lie to me again. If I ask you a question, I expect you to answer honestly. Don’t try to hide your arousal from me.”

“Yes, mistress.” He whimpered, “I’m sorry, mistress.”

“You will receive five strikes for each. You will count them and thank me after each.”

He nodded, but I needed to check, and I softened my tone. “Color?”

“Green, ma’am, so fucking green.”

I smirked, positioning myself as I rubbed his ass. I raised my arm and brought it down in one swift motion.

He gasped, shifting forwards a little, “One, thank you, ma’am.”

The first six were fairly light and fast, alternating between his cheeks, and I gradually increased how hard they were.

“Six! Thank you, ma’am.” He gasped, face half-buried in the bed.

I raised my hand again and brought it down, hard. The hardest he’d felt yet, and almost as hard as I could go without a paddle.

Spencer yelped, “Fuck! Seven, ma’am, thank… thank you.”

“Color?” I asked, softly rubbing his ass.

“Green.”

As soon as I heard that I struck the other cheek just as hard, eliciting another yelp.

“Eight! Thank you, ma’am.”

The next one required precise positioning, right in the middle of his cheeks, down low enough to feel different without hurting anything. I lined my hand up and struck.

“Mother of-! Nine, thank you, ma’am.” Then, anticipating my question, “Green, mistress.”

I hummed and struck him in the same place again. It wouldn’t leave as much of a mark, but his sounds were delectable.

“Ten, ma’am, thank you.” He groaned, relaxing a little.

I maneuvered myself so he could look at me without moving too much. “You okay, Spence?”

He nodded eagerly, panting a little, “Yes, ma’am.”

I began to stand up when he spoke again.

“Mistress? You don’t have to avoid using nicknames for me.” He said, sounding more like the shy Spencer I was used to, “I want to be a slut for you.”

Of all the words I never thought I’d hear from Spencer’s sweet lips…

I nodded. “Thank you, Spencer.”

Slipping back into my dom space, I gripped his hair and pulled him onto his knees in front of me. He whined a little as his ass hit his heels but settled into a more comfortable position and looked up at me, his face a combination of lust and curiosity. Part of me wanted to keep him like this forever.

“Stand up, I’m going to cuff you in the front. You’ll get on the bed, hands above your head, legs bent and spread.”

He paused to make sure that was all before standing, turning around to allow me easy access to the cuffs. I only undid one, then turned him around and redid the cuffs, then stepped away. He got on the bed; eyes trained on me as he positioned himself. When he finished, I extended the spreader bar and cuffed his legs apart. He tried to push them together, whining a little when he failed, but then relaxing. I moved onto the bed, straddling his waist.

I let my fingers trace patterns around his nipples as I spoke, “You’re going to keep your hands above your head. No matter what I do, no matter how badly you want to move them, they will stay above your head.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He hesitated, and I knew he was about to ask, “What if I don’t?”

I moved forward, gripping his throat and tightening my hand, just enough to cut off the blood flow a little. He gasped as I smirked, lowering my face close to his. “That is not a question I’m going to answer, little whore. All you should say is ‘yes, ma’am’, and if you obey me, you’ll never have to find out what happens if you don’t. But I can guarantee you won’t like it.”

I released him and he gasped, pupils blown. “Yes, mistress, I’m sorry, mistress.”

I bent down again and began nibbling at his neck, finding the sensitive spots, but not biting hard enough to mark. I slowly made my way down his shoulders and chest, leaving a few light love bites, then I began to play with his nipples.

I lapped lightly at one and he gasped, hips twitching before he settled. I glanced up to make sure his hands were in place, and they hadn’t moved. I began sucking and biting, teasing his other nipple with my hand, and he kept twitching under me, moans becoming deep and strained. I switched to the other and gave it the same treatment. I wasn’t going to stop until I reached my goal…

“Fuck,” he moaned, and I smiled.

The great Doctor Spencer Reid, reduced to a whining, moaning, cursing mess before I ever touched his cock. I was tempted to video it, text it to Derek or the girls just to show off, but instead I tried to burn it into my memory as I trailed down his abs.

It was as if the dam had broken, because he continued cursing and moaning and my fingers and nails lightly clawed his skin, causing him to buck up against me, but his hands stayed.

I stopped and closed my eyes for a second, trying to remember what he looked like in uniform. I smiled as I thought _right hip_.

I shifted to be more comfortable and went to work leaving a dark mark on his hipbone, right where his gun rested when it was on his belt. I knew that even if he healed quickly it would still be there Monday, and I smiled at the thought of seeing him try to adjust subtly. He moaned and pushed up against me, finding friction at my shoulder, and he began grinding against me. That wasn’t going to happen.

I sat up and his hips dropped, whining at the loss.

“Part of no touching without permission, little slut, is not trying to get off by grinding on me and thinking you won’t get punished.” My voice was sickly sweet.

He groaned, “But mistress, it just felt so good…”

“What felt good?” I asked, face innocence falling from my lips, hand grazing over his bulge, then pulling down his panties and stroking him lightly. “This, whore, does this feel good? Is this what you wanted? Is this what you were so desperate for?”

He moaned and bucked up into my hand. “Yes, ma’am, yes, yes, yes, that’s what I wanted ma’am, fuck.”

My hand stilled, but his hips kept moving. Perfect. “Then get yourself off like this.”

He paused for a second, confused, then understood. Knowing it would do no good to argue, he shifted his legs to a better position and began fucking my hand desperately, gasping and moaning.

When I pulled my hand away, he groaned, and when I got off the bed, he looked desperate. I walked over to my bag, pulling out a small bell, and placed it in his hand. He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m going to ride your face while you try and get off like a desperate whore. If you need to stop, you can shake that or drop it. Got it?”

He nodded eagerly, then caught himself, “Yes, ma’am.”

I moved to straddle his face chest pointed towards his legs so I could maintain my hand position. When I gripped him again, he began eagerly, and I lowered myself onto his face, feeling his tongue contact my clit and catching myself on my other hand. His motions on my pussy matched the way he fucked me, movement for movement, and I had to admire it a little- even in this frenzied state, he was determined to remain consistent. I, on the other hand, was determined not to let that last.

I took my hand away and licked it, smearing my spit on it, before wrapping it around him again, a little tighter. He moaned at the extra feeling and kept going, not breaking tempo. That’s when I decided to pass my thumb over his tip every stroke, and he lost it.

I could feel him moaning against me, lost in the pleasure of tasting me and my hand on his cock, and his rhythm broke. His hips seemed to move on their own, desperately fucking my hand as he worked to bring me to orgasm.

I’d been holding back my own release, but _damn_ he was good. “I’m about to cum-“ was all I choked out before I came, grinding down onto his face, feeling him lap at my entrance. When my hips slowed, he pushed his tongue inside of me, and it was my turn to moan, now fully riding his face.

“I’m close,” I said, not long after, and he withdrew his tongue, sucking mercilessly on my clit.

 _Fuck, holy mother of-_ I came, groaning and grinding down on his face, and his noises told me how close he was. I shifted my hips away from his face and he took a couple breaths, then I began pumping up and down his dick.

“Mistress, fuck, I want it so bad, I’ve been so good for you, please let me cum,” he moaned, as wanton and desperate as I’d ever heard him, “Fuck your hand feels so good, mistress, ma’am, please, fuck I want to cum for you.”

“Do you deserve it?” I asked.

That was a loaded question, but he didn’t care.

“I don’t know if you think so mistress, but I’ve been so good I took my punishment so well and I made you cum, didn’t I? I want to cum for you and moan for you, fuck, please…”

I took my hand away, moving so I was sitting between his legs. He’d tried to close them a few times, a futile, desperate attempt at release, but now he couldn’t even try. I resumed my motions and I pulled him up to look at me. He looked at me for a second, holding his hands above his head still, and I smiled.

“Wrap your arms around me, slut.”

He obeyed immediately, pulling me closer as I sped up. He fell into my neck, gasping and moaning, unable to choke out proper sentences anymore. I pulled his hair, so he was looking in my eyes, and gave the command he’d been waiting for.

“Cum.”

He thrust up into my hand, gasping, a string of moans and broken curse words and my name as he came, spurting on his chest and stomach. His arms tensed and pulled me closer and he moaned into my shoulder, biting down a little to quiet himself. When he was done, I pulled my hand away, and moved to undo his cuffs before pushing him gently onto his back. His eyes held a question, but I just bent down and began licking the cum off his chest.

I’d always wondered what he tasted like. It wasn’t that different, but there was something thrilling about this, about _him._ I watched as his eyes fluttered back, he ran one hand through my hair gently as I collected his cum and swallowed graphically, making him groan again.

I wanted to kiss him, wanted him to taste himself on my lips and tongue, but I couldn’t. Not unless we agreed to. Damn my rules.

I moved down, undoing the spreader bar and massaging his thighs gently and he relaxed. I pulled down the jockstrap, now a little stained, and placed it aside, then pulled Spencer into my arms.

“That was amazing, Spencer, that felt so good,” I said quietly, “You did so good for me, you’re so good and obedient.”

He looked up at me, “Really?”

I nodded, “Yeah, Spence, I really liked that.”

“I did too.” He smiled, then gasped when he shifted his hips, and I remembered the spanking.

“Shit! Let me get you cream for that.” I tried to move him as gently as possible, going to my bag to get the aloe vera travel container I always carried as he turned over. I rubbed it in slowly, gently, then went back to cuddling. I shifted down into the covers and he nuzzled into my shoulder. I smiled, pulled a blanket onto us and brushing through his hair gently.

“Remote,” he mumbled, half asleep already, “Bedside. Turn off lights.”

I understood and grabbed the small remote to turn off the lights. By the time I settled back down, I was pretty sure he was already in dreamland. I smiled, pulled him close, and drifted off myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four chapters in one day? It's more likely than you think!  
> Comments are welcome, I'm always looking for advice.  
> Enjoy!


	6. Bagels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up to a breakfast and end up going over to Penelope's. She can read you better than you like.

Apparently, it was Spencer’s turn to wake up first, because I woke up to an empty bed and sounds coming from his kitchen. I stretched out, mentally both cursing and thanking myself for forgetting a change of clothes and decided to raid Spencer’s closet. I found an old hoodie and shorts he’d probably worn once and pulled them on, then walked slowly to the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

Reid perked up as I walked in, setting out breakfast dishes. Two paper bags sat on the table.

“I can’t cook, but I can drive and get some pretty decent bagels. They don’t compare to New York’s, but that’s because of the water quality, which actually comes from the mountains, and-“

“I love bagels.” I interrupted. “I don’t really care where they’re from as long as they’re cooked properly.”

He smiled and nodded, motioning for me to sit down. He opened the other bag, pulling out cream cheese (three different kinds), smoked salmon, sliced tomatoes, and butter.

“I didn’t know what kind you liked so I got a baker’s dozen variety, I figure I can bring in the extras to work tomorrow, and I didn’t know about toppings so I kind of got everything? Not _everything_ everything, but a good variety, I think. Oh! And coffee!”

He rushed over to the counter, setting a pot down on the table, “I finished the first pot, but I brewed this for you.”

I smiled and began digging in, finding and everything bagel at the top of the bag, already cut, and began loading it with toppings. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to bribe me or something.”

He shook his head, curly hair flopping. “I just feel a lot more relaxed than I have in a long time. I never thought not having control would be so… freeing.”

I nodded, biting into my bagel and humming happily. I hadn’t had a proper bagel in a while, mostly just baked ones from shops on the way to the office or crime scenes, but this was much better. “I’m glad you think so. That’s why a lot of CEOs and ‘top dogs’ are submissive; it’s a way of giving up control safely.”

He nodded, pouring me a cup of coffee before pouring one for himself. “Thank you.”

I looked up, cocking my head.

“I never thought I’d find someone who I trusted enough to even be able to explore this with. I’ve been thinking about it for a while but… How do you explain to someone you’ve never met before that you have a massive traumatic history and the worst work schedule ever?”

“Slowly.” I said, swallowing my bite, “You don’t always jump into these things, Spence. Munches and parties can be a good way to slowly introduce yourself to people and the scene. No one should ever force you into anything, they’ll respect you because you deserve to be respected. We have standards, y’know.”

“I guess, it’s just nice to not have to recount all that, I guess. Don’t need to relive it.” He shrugged, a little more somber now.

“I get it. Our line of work is weird and complicated and not many people know what it’s like. Having someone who understands is important.”

I ate in silence for a few seconds, and Reid scrolled through his phone, then perked up. “I have a lecture today! I’m attending a seminar on the patterns of blood spatters at crime scenes and what that indicates about the nature and force of an injury, it’s supposed to be really interesting.” He grinned, excited.

Of course, Reid would be the one taking seminars on weekends about crime scenes.

“Don’t let me hold you up, pretty boy.” I smiled, “I’ll drive you over to mine and you can get your car, if you want. Whatever works for you.”

“Yes, please. I’m so sorry, I should’ve warned you.”

I shook my head, “No worries. Don’t stress about it. Just bring in these bagels tomorrow and we’ll call it even.

He nodded, “Deal!”

I licked off my fingers and got my stuff together, getting a few things from the shopping bags but leaving the rest there. When I came out of the bathroom with my clothes, heels back on, Spencer was standing by the door. The kid always looked like a puppy, I swear.

We walked out and he locked the door carefully behind him, reciting statistics about home break-ins, and discussing the merits of different apartment and home safety systems all the way home. When we got to my house, I pulled into the driveway and turned to him.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. I left the aloe on your bedside, use it as often as you need, and I think there’s a bigger tube in one of the bags. Use it generously, trust me.” I advised.

He nodded, “I’ll text you, I guess. See you tomorrow?”

I smiled and pulled him into a hug, kissing the sensitive spot behind his ear. “Be good, slut.”

With that, I locked my car and walked inside my house, leaving him on the driveway processing what I’d said before driving off. I dropped my purse on the counter and was about to take off Reid’s clothes, but I shrugged and left them on. Realizing I hadn’t checked either phone all morning, I pulled out my regular phone and scrolled idly through it. A couple case files from Hotch, basically ‘look these over and tell them they’re being blind’ type cases, Garcia sending me some cute new dresses, and not much else.

My other phone only had three messages.

One from Jenna, and two from Reid.

**_Message from: Stripper Chick ;)_   
** **Your new play partner is cute. PLEASE hmu if he’s ever interested.  
** **Also, I know what you got from the back room. Be careful.**

I sighed.

**_Message to: Stripper Chick ;)_   
** **I know what I’m getting myself into, and it doesn’t lock. He just needs the focus.  
** **And if he’s ever interested, I will. It’s been too long.**

Then from Reid:

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **This is your fault.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **One attachment.**

I tapped on it and it took a second to download, but it was worth it. Reid, posing in front of the mirror, ass red with bright handprints. I was asleep in the background, so he’d clearly taken that while I was still awake. I laughed.

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Sorry not sorry**

Just as I sent that, my other phone pinged.

**_Message from: Garcia_   
** **Need help picking clothes for a date. Come over?**

**_Message to: Garcia_   
** **I’ve got nothing better to do. OMW**

I grabbed my purse and left, slipping both phones back into my purse without thinking and leaving.


	7. Best Friends

It was only when I arrived at Penelope’s house when I realized I was still in Spencer’s clothes. Too late now. I sighed, rolled up the sleeves of the shirt and tucked it into the khaki pants, fixed my hair, and walked inside. How did this feel like more of a walk of shame than leaving Reid’s house?

Whatever. I’m a grown woman and I can screw whomever I want.

I walked up to Garcia’s apartment and knocked, hearing her yell, ‘Come it, it’s unlocked!’ I walked in to see her in front of a mirror, struggling with a zipper.

“A little help?”

I dropped my purse and rushed forward to zip her up, managing it quickly. The dress was a cute baby doll cut with strawberries all over it, and of course she had matching glasses and heels.

“Fun!” I said, admiring her taste as always. “You look fabulous, Garcia. I’m sure they’ll love it.”

She turned to me, about to say something, then stopped when she saw how I was dressed. “Excuse me, we need to talk about the masculine elephant in the room!”

“What?” I asked.

“Someone forgot a change of clothes! Tell me all about them. Is this a one-night thing? Are you dating someone I don’t know about? Either those are old clothes or they’re skinny as a pipe cleaner.” She chuckled, “C’mon, details!”

I sighed. “We’re kind of a new thing, so there’s not a label yet, it’s like a one-night stand that is now way more than that. And yeah, we ended up at his place last night, and I wasn’t thinking about it when I left.”

She wiggled her eyebrows at me, “Do I get to know this mysterious man’s name?”

I shook my head, miming locking my lips. I wasn’t going to lie to her, but I wasn’t going to say anything else either. She sighed in disappointment, then turned back to the mirror.

“Okay, well the girl I’m going on a date with tonight is named Rebecca and she’s adorable from what I’ve seen – and cyber-stalked – and I want to be myself but myself is too quirky for some people and… I just want to make a good impression.”

“Garcia,” I said, “If this girl doesn’t like you for the fabulous, quirky, amazing ‘baby girl’ that you are, she doesn’t deserve you.”

She laughed at Derek’s nickname for her and turned back to the mirror. “Is this too bright for dinner though?”

“Where are you going?”

“She won’t tell me!” Garcia pouted, “I scoured her internet history and found nothing! She’s good, and I don’t like not knowing.”

“Go with something a little more classic then. Do you have this cut in a different color? A dark blue or magenta?” I said, sifting through her closet.

“Yep, both. Why is she so vague? Wouldn’t you tell someone where you’re taking them out? What if it’s crawfish and I look like an idiot?”

“It’s not going to be crawfish, Pen.” I held out the dark blue dress, “Put this on instead, wear your galaxy glasses, and those fun boots you have with the waves on them, and have fun!”

She sighed, taking the dress from me as I moved to unzip the one she was wearing. “You’re the best, you know that? You came over here after banging just to help me with a date!”

I shrugged, “I don’t have much else to do besides chill and watch Netflix. This is a welcome distraction.”

I finished the zipper and she turned to me, “What about your new boy toy? Did he ghost you already?” She looked shocked at the very thought.

“Nope, just had a thing to go to today. Forgot about it when he invited me over, no big deal.”

“What kind of thing?” She asked, a little suspicious.

I shrugged, “Don’t remember. Maybe a conference? I could ask but…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Garcia turned for me to zip the new dress and I did, watching her twirl in the mirror. “Are you sure this is just a fling?”

“Yeah, why? It’s just casual sex. People can do that, Garcia.” I teased, “It’s like how you and Morgan flirt but we actually do stuff afterwards.”

She stuck her tongue out at me, “You just don’t normally talk about your ‘just sex’ partners like this. Or much at all. And you don’t wear their clothes.”

“I forgot, Garcia, okay? It’s not a big deal.” I tried to deny what she was saying, but part of me knew she was right. “We’re just friends, and it’s not going to ever be more than that.”

 _Because it can’t be_ , I reminded myself. _It’s not happening._

“Fine. But when I get my invitation to your wedding, I’m saying I told you so.” She teased.

“Garcia!” I exclaimed, louder than I’d intended. Then, quieter, “We are _not_ getting married.”

“Sure, hot stuff.” She winked at me. She put on her new glasses and heels, then turned to face me, “Better?”

I nodded. “Quintessentially you, while being a bit more versatile. Perfect.”

She smiled. “Thank you, really. I don’t know what I’d you without you.”

“Show up to dates looking like a strawberry at midnight, that’s what,” I teased.

She walked over to her computer set up, a sticky note on one of the screens catching her eye. “Oh! Right, I almost forgot. I should update your server security at some point soon. It won’t mess with the functions, you just said you wanted it to stay completely up to date.”

“And you won’t be able to access any of the data?” I double checked. I always did before she updated it.

“Nope! As long as it all runs smoothly, all I have to do is press enter.”

“Cool, go ahead then, whenever works.” I shrugged, “I have some stuff to add but I’ll do it after.”

She shook her head, “Do it before, if anything goes wrong it’ll be down for a couple days and I know how regularly you clear that extra phone of yours.”

“What about me don’t you know, Garcia?” I sighed, unzipping my purse to get my phone.

“The name of your newest – ahem – friend, that’s what.”

“And you will never know.” I quickly uploaded Reid’s list and the few pictures to the server, then nodded. “Go ahead and update it now.”

She nodded and started the update, then turned to me and held out her hand. “Wipe it and give it to me, I should update that as well while I’m at it and you’re here. Easier than forcing it at HQ, they always make a fuss.”

I chuckled, clearing the phone quickly and handing it to her, “That’s because you go through several of their security systems and force-run several programs, Pen.”

She shrugged, “Not my fault they’re boring.”

I laughed, sitting back as she plugged in my phone. I honestly wasn’t sure exactly how it was encrypted, but she swore to me the data was safe, and I trusted her. She had to been impressive to get the FBI’s attention after all, and we all trusted her.

A minute or two later, my work phone buzzed in my bag. Deep in thought, the sound surprised me, and I jumped, hitting the table and knocking my bag over. It fell, and my work phone fell out of it. And the things I’d grabbed from the bags at Spencer’s. And the box.

I leapt up, trying to shove them all back in my purse, but Garcia snatched up the box before I could and began inspecting it. Luckily, these came in plain, unmarked boxes, but there was no easy way to explain if she opened it.

“This looks suspiciously like a ring box.” She teased. “A somewhat oversized ring box, but… maybe your new boyfriend is a giant?”

“It’s… it’s not what you think. Just give it back.” I held out my hand.

She wiggled her eyebrows, “Not until you tell me what it is.”

“None of your business, Garcia.”

“C’mon!” She complained, “Tell me or I won’t give it back.” She held it out of my reach.

I searched for a lie. _Ring box, in my bag, unmarked,_ “It’s a ring. For a friend of mine. I picked it up for them. They’re planning on proposing but they have one of those tracking apps so I volunteered to pick it up so her partner wouldn’t see.” Yeah, that works.

She smiled and handed it to me, “Do I know this friend of yours?”

I shook my head, “I have a little bit of a social life outside of work, Pen. It’s an old friend of mine, I’m just going them a favor.”

“If you say so!” Her tone told me she didn’t believe me, but it was a good enough cover up for now.

I grabbed my work phone to check the message, but it was just a request from Hotch to send the files back. “I should go, Hotch sent me some paperwork he wants done, I want to finish it before we start a new case.”

She nodded, unplugging my other phone and handing it to me. “I will meet this friend of yours someday, won’t I?”

I forced a smile. “No promises, Garcia. Let me know how your date goes!”

Before I could mess anything else up, I left.


	8. Back at the Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The BAU goes on a case and you end up feeling bad on the way home. Spencer comforts you.

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **I’m taking bets on who finds out about us first. My money is on Garcia or Emily. Thoughts?**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Emily or Hotch, unless you already said something to Garcia.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **No, but I ended up lying a lot while helping her get ready for a date. Girl knows how to pry!**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **We both know this can’t affect work.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **I’m painfully aware. How do you feel about all of this? What boundaries do you want to set?**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **I really shouldn’t be texting you while I’m in class, I’ve disciplined students for that.  
** **For boundaries, I say we keep it out of the office. No nicknames, no play, minimal texting.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Someone’s being a naughty student. I wonder how you’d look in a pleated skirt…  
** **I agree regarding boundaries. Better for us and the team.**

Part of me wanted to say, _What if it becomes something more? What if we don’t end this amicably? What if shit gets bad?_ But I didn’t want to think about that, and those were discussions to have in person.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Damn you, this really is unfair.  
** **I’d wear a schoolgirl skirt if you told me to.  
** **I’d probably like it.**

Now _that_ was sexy. Reid in a skirt, bending over his desk for me. Reid in a skirt that barely covered his length, sitting, trying to hide how aroused he was. Fucking him without taking it off, just flipping it up and opening that pretty ass…

I shook my head and refocused.

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **I will absolutely explore that more at some point.  
** **Now pay attention, naughty boy. ;)**

With that, I turned that phone off and went back to the paperwork from Hotch. It really was basic, but we had to respond to it anyways, and Hotch knew I would be efficient and polite about it. Finishing the last few pages, I scanned it all back to him and wandered to my bedroom, still focused on the idea of Reid in a skirt.

I fell back onto my sheets, grabbing my vibe from the drawer and slipping it into my pants.

Spencer, kneeling for me, biting my shoulder as he came, tied up, blindfolded, reacting to my touches. His whining when I teased his nipples, the way he gasped when my finger brushed across his tip, the sounds he made when I spanked him. The lust in his eyes as he looked at me. The way he looked at me when I was nude, like I was a work of art, but one he wanted to ravish and destroy. The way he submitted to me.

I came, moaning into my pillow, hips bucking up against nothing like his had only hours before. I couldn’t get the thoughts of kissing him out of my head.

My last thought before I turned over to fall asleep: _I am not falling in love with Spencer Reid. I can’t._

***

Apparently, I was more tired than I thought, because I woke up to my alarm the next morning. I groaned and turned over, turning my alarm off, and dragged myself out of bed. I stripped off the clothes I’d borrowed from Spencer and pulled on slacks, a blouse (much more decent than the one I’d worn to Spencer’s house), and short heels. I fixed my hair and grabbed my purse and go bag, then remembered to repack my purse.

I pulled out the box I’d bought the day before, considering what to do with it.

_That’s for next weekend._

I walked into my bedroom, opened my toy drawer, and slipped it behind a few outfits I wore less often. I put the other things I’d grabbed closer to the front of the drawer, relocked the drawer, and left.

I got to the office, parked, and started walking into the office when I saw Spencer get out of his car. I decided to wait for him, and he noticed, doing a cute little half-jog to catch up with me.

“Hey!” He said, smiling.

I waved as we began walking, “How was the seminar?”

“It was great! I really enjoyed it, and I’m excited about putting the information to use.” He paused, “I mean, I don’t like seeing people dead or blood spatters, but-“

“Spence, I get it. Being able to critically analyze crime scenes is important and you like new knowledge.”

He nodded, hair flopping. “I couldn’t pay attention the entire time, though, my mind kept wandering.”

I acted like I had no idea what he meant, “The great Dr. Reid didn’t pay attention during a seminar? What in the world could have been so distracting?” I asked as we entered the elevator, doors closing.

As soon as the doors closed and we began moving, he muttered, “I swear, in a different situation I would pin you against the wall and make sure you’re just as distracted.” His voice was deep, a little rough, and much more dominant than I was used to.

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “I’d like to see you try, pretty boy. How’s your ass, by the way?”

He whined, slipping into a submissive state again, and I grinned as the doors opened. I knew it would be pink and still a little sore, and he would have felt it the entire drive to the office. But part of me really wanted to feel him pin me to the wall… That was a fantasy for another day.

We walked into the office, finding Morgan, JJ, Emily, and Garcia all discussing their weekends. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down, listening to the girls recount their weekend of fun.

“Hey, Pen,” I asked, “How was your date?”

Morgan raised an eyebrow as she lit up. “You went on a date without me, baby girl?”

She scoffed, “Yes, I did, and I’m pretty sure she’s not interested in you. But it went really well.”

“No crawfish?” I teased.

She shook her head, “Local steakhouse. And she loved my outfit.” She was beaming.

I smiled and winked, laughing at Morgan’s stare. Really, he could be so clueless sometimes.

“How’s Henry, JJ?” Emily asked, looking between Morgan and Garcia as if watching a tennis match.

JJ smiled, “He’s great! We all went to the park and Will decided to take a lot of pictures of us together, so we can make a little photo album.”

We all cooed as she showed us some of the pictures. They really were an adorable family.

When we were summoned to the briefing room, I kept an eye on Spencer. It took a second for him to find a comfortable position, and he gave me the evil eye every time he shifted. I just smiled and winked.

When we left to get our go bags and get on the plane, Garcia pulled me aside. “There was an issue with your server update, I don’t know exactly what’s up, but it shouldn’t take too long to fix it.”

I bit my lip, not knowing how to ask the question without seeming to suspicious, “Do you have to deal with the contents themselves or is it just with the server setup?”

“Just with the server, your data is perfectly safe.” She smiled, “Don’t worry, I’m not sneaking a peek at whatever you’re hiding.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you so much, Pen, I’m so grateful for you doing this for me.”

“No worries, sweetie. Happy to help a friend.” She smiled and waved. Spencer glanced at me but didn’t say anything.

On the plane, we went over the case information, but ended up having some downtime before we landed. I scrolled through my work phone, playing a couple games when my other phone buzzed.

I pulled it out, unsure of who would be texting me right now.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Please tell me you have some extra aloe in your bag.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Always. Why, are you sore? I can see you shifting around…**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Shut up.**

I smiled, went back to playing my games, and occasionally glanced up at Reid, who was giving me the stink-eye every time he shifted in his seat.

***

When we arrived at the hotel, Hotch sighed. “We’ve only got three rooms. JJ and Emily, you two go together,” he handed them a key, “I’ll take one with Rossi if you’re okay with that,” he said, glancing at me and Spencer.

I nodded as casually as I could.

Rossi spoke up, “I’ll pay for my own room, the ladies deserve some privacy.”

Normally, I’d jump at the chance, so I fought to keep my voice neutral, “Are you sure, Rossi? It’s really no big deal.”

He was already handing his card to the concierge. “Have your own room, really. Besides, Reid probably talks enough to act as Hotch’s white noise machine.”

I snorted at that and we all walked up to our rooms. I was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t be in a room with Spencer, but it was probably good, just in terms of maintaining appropriate noise levels.

As I got ready for bed, my phone buzzed again.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Bummer I’m not sleeping with you**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **What, you already want more of me?**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Always.**

I smirked.

***

We finally finished the case almost a week later, taking the plane home late Saturday night. Most people were curled up on the chairs or couches, sleeping, but I couldn’t stop going over the case in my head.

I’d interrogated the unsub; I’d had him in front of me and I let him go. I said I didn’t think it was him. And then he’d killed two more girls. I felt awful, the parents of the girls had screamed at me in anger, blaming me for the deaths of their children, and I couldn’t blame them.

Reid stood up and sat next to me, taking one of my hands in his.

“(Y/N),” he said softly, “Their deaths weren’t your fault.”

“I interrogated him. I said he wasn’t the unsub and those girls are dead because of me.” My breathed shakily, “They’ll never see another sunrise, never go on another date, never live their lives…”

“We can’t hold people who we think are innocent. He convinced all of us too. You can’t blame yourself.” He hesitated, then hugged me gently. “We all made that mistake.”

I nodded and relaxed into his chest. I could feel his heartbeat and it was calming. I curled into him and my breathing slowed, and I eventually fell into a light sleep in his arms.

When we landed back in DC, I stirred and tried to stand up, but my ears were pressurized, and I almost fell over. Spencer caught me and helped me stand slowly. I smiled up at him, grabbed my bag, and walked to my car with him.

“Spence?” I said, voice a little slurred and drowsy. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Hey, of course,” he put my bag in my car and leaned against it, “We’re coworkers and friends, and I’ve been in that same situation before.”

I nodded, opened my door, and got in the front seat.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” he requested, “I want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Yeah, definitely,” I smiled, “Thank you again.”

He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. “Let me know if you need anything.”

I nodded and he walked away, my heart melting at his kind words.

_I am not falling in love with Spencer Reid._

_I cannot fall in love with Spencer Reid._

_He’s just being a good friend._

I didn’t even believe myself as I repeated that all the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise more smut is coming soon! But I also want this to be a story, and I'm building up to more fun stuff.


	9. Late Lunch and Playtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer go for a lunch date and have fun afterward.  
> You admit something to yourself.

The next morning, I woke up to a loud knocking at my door. I grumbled and pulled myself out of bed, made sure I was wearing clothes, and opened the door.

Spencer stood outside the door, holding a paper box. “I know you aren’t feeling good, so I brought you a bagel.” He smiled, opening the box to reveal an everything bagel with all my favorite toppings.

I sighed gratefully and opened the door to let him in. “Sorry I’m not dressed, slow morning.”

“It’s 10:30, you’re normally up by 8. Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded, “Headache made me sleep in. Come on in, I’ll make coffee.”

He grinned and entered. We made small talk as I brewed the coffee, and I gave him a heavily sugared cup. He clearly had something else and his mind, but I waited for him to make the first move.

“I’m sorry about giving you a kiss last night.” He finally blurted out. “I didn’t know if that was appropriate.”

I shrugged, “I’ve given you kisses before. I didn’t mind, it was actually really nice.”

He smiled. This was the Spencer I didn’t see when we were playing: the nervous, shy kid who never wanted to hurt or make anyone uncomfortable, and even made sure a chaste kiss on the forehead was okay. So different from the sexy man who knelt for me and let me tie him up, begging me to cum and moaning into my shoulder. And I loved both sides of him.

_No, I don’t love him. He’s a friend. He’s a coworker and a friend, and that’s all._

He clearly had something else to say. I looked him up and down, waiting.

“I really enjoyed last weekend.” He said, and I smiled. “I want to keep playing with you, if that’s okay.”

I nodded. “Is there anything specific you want to do?”

“I want to try pegging.” He blurted out.

I tilted my head, “In the shop you said that you’d tried anal before. What do you mean you want to try it?”

“I’ve been with men before,” He bit his lip, dropping his eyes, “But… I want you to fuck me.”

How did he say something so dirty, yet sound so innocent?

I stood up, moving around to stand in front of him where he sat. He looked up at me, and I brushed my hand through his hair. He looked up through his long lashes at me, waiting for me to react.

“You want me to fuck you, pretty boy?” I asked, smirking. “You want me to stretch that pretty little ass of yours and make you moan?”

He nodded eagerly.

“What was that?” I asked, tugging his hair gently.

He whined, “Yes, ma’am. I want you to fuck me, please.”

“Go to my room, strip off your pants and underwear and get on your hands and knees.” I ordered.

He nodded, I stepped away, and he rushed to the bedroom. I smiled, glad I’d grabbed a vibrating plug from the bags I’d bought for Spencer, and entered my room, walking to my toy drawer. I pulled out the key, unlocked it, and took out the plug, slipping the remote into my hand so Reid couldn’t see it, and a large container of lube.

Spencer watched me as I got out the toys but focused his eyes ahead as I walked over to him. I squirted some lube onto my hand and began circling the tight ring of muscle. He whined and pushed back into my hand, but I pulled my hand away.

“Stay still, little slut,” I warned.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I slowly pushed one finger into his ass, bit by bit. From the angle I was at, I could find his prostate easily and pushed gently. Spencer gasped, and I smiled. Lubing up another finger, I pushed it inside and slowly began stretching him.

Unable to hold back, Spencer let out a string of whining and cursing as I opened him up. I watched him get hard but didn’t touch him. I made sure he was open before adding a third finger, making him gasp and moan. When I decided he was ready, I withdrew my fingers, rubbing the remaining lube all over the plug, adding a little extra, and began pushing it inside him slowly.

Unable to stop himself, Spencer pushed back against the plug and it pushed into him quickly. Not what I had wanted, but he clearly enjoyed it from the way he moaned and clenched around it.

“Spence, color?” I asked.

“Green,” he moaned.

I smiled and hit his ass lightly, making him clench around the plug again.

“Stay there for a second, make sure you’re comfortable before you move okay?” I told him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he groaned, shifting a little.

I moved to my closet, pulling on a low-cut V-neck dress with pockets and shimmery blue thigh highs. I slipped the remote into my pocket, then walked back over to Reid.

“You should be okay now, but be slow okay? Don’t strain yourself.” I said, petting his hair softly.

He nodded, sitting up and whining a little, but adjusting and standing up. He pulled his boxers and slacks back on, shifting a little. He had no idea what was in store. I drove us to a local diner, asking to be seated in a corner booth. The server obliged, and I ordered for both of us, not even giving Spencer time to talk. He looked at me curiously for a second but settled down.

I began a casual conversation, slipping my hand into my pocket, and turned the plug up, just to the lowest setting. He gasped, staring at me for a second, then whined quietly. I smiled, acted like nothing had happened, and continued the conversation. He stumbled over a few of his words but caught my drift and continued.

Our drinks arrived as we continued. As soon as I saw him relax, I turned it up again. This time, he twitched, hitting his heel against the seat, cursing softly.

“Is there something wrong, Spencer?” I asked.

He bit his lip and considered his options, trying to calculate his response. “No, ma’am, I’m okay.”

Well played, Reid.

Our food arrived, I got a salad and he got a burger. How that boy was as thin as he was, I had no idea. We both dug in. As Spencer took his first bite, I turned it up again.

He bit down suddenly, apparently biting his tongue. I chuckled as he glared at me.

“I swear, when we get home…” he muttered.

I raised my eyebrows, “What?”

He grumbled, “Nothing, ma’am.”

I watched him the entire meal, occasionally playing with the vibrator settings, but he was more prepared now, and didn’t react as much. If I glanced at his pants though, I could see other parts of him were reacting. When we finished, the waitress brought the cheque. Unsure of where to put it, she started to place it in the middle of the table, but I held out my hand. Spencer muttered something (I decided I didn’t care what, and I could guess), but I didn’t say anything as I added a tip, signed, and put it down. Eyes trained on Spencer, I reached in my pocket and turned it up again. He claps both hands over his mouth, groaning in a low tone, staring at me.

“Ma’am,” he whispered.

“Yes?” I asked. “Do you need something?”

He groaned, “I need you… it feels so good, please.”

I turned of the plug completely as the waitress came back. I smiled cordially and Reid did the same.

Keeping a neutral tone and small smile on my face, I looked at him, “When we leave, you’re going to keep your hands out of your pockets. Don’t try to hide anything.”

He nodded, knowing arguing was futile.

When I got my card back, I stood up, Spencer quickly following suit. I took his hand, slipping my other hand into my pocket and turning the toy on again. He stumbled, brushing it off as stubbing his toe, and I held back a laugh. When we got in the car, he practically collapsed into the passenger seat, hand brushing over the bulge in his jeans.

I didn’t say anything but made a mental note as I started the car. Spencer seemed to have forgotten the rules, and I glanced at my watch.

He’s fully palming his bulge now, groaning. I turned up the vibe again.

“Mother of- fuck- holy shit.” He groaned, hips twitching. He knew better than to undo his belt, but he clearly wanted to.

When we arrived back at my house, I reached over, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled him close. “What have I told you about touching yourself, whore?” I growled.

He whined. “I- I’m not supposed to touch, ma’am. Not without your permission.”

“So, what do you call that?” I asked, gesturing toward his hand, still resting on his bulge.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I wanted it so bad, the plug feels so good and I can’t stop thinking about you,” he groaned.

“Slut.” I muttered, then released him and got out of the car. He quickly followed suit, clasping his hands behind his back.

I unlocked the door and we walked inside. As soon as we got inside, I turned and pinned him to the wall, biting his neck. I pulled up his shirt, marking his chest, deciding I didn’t care. He groans and grasps my dress, trying to hold onto something. I reached down and pulled down my panties, stepping out of them and moving so my back was to the wall. I grabbed Spencer’s hair and forced him to his knees, and he looked up at me.

I pulled up my skirt, spreading my legs, and he understood. He grabbed my hips as he began teasing my clit with his tongue, and I gripped his hair. I was wet from seeing him squirm in the diner and knowing how aroused he was only made it better.

One of his hands left my hips, and I watched it travel down to his bulge. I pulled him away.

“If you touch yourself, I won’t let you cum for two weeks.” I threatened.

He whimpered and obeyed, putting his hand back on my hip and starting to tease my entrance with his tongue. I moaned, gripping his hair tighter, pushing him into me. He sucked harder and moved faster, and I was quickly about to cum.

“Fuck- Spence,” I moaned, “Just like that, so good for me, such a good slut, go on, make me cum- ah!” I ground against his face as I came, gasping and panting. “Fuck, yes, just like that.”

He pulled back and smiled up at me. I grinned back, chest heaving. “Such a good little whore.”

He hummed happily, and I pulled him up. I kissed him behind the ear, sucking a light mark. “Go to the bedroom and get on your back. Spread your legs.”

He nods, “Yes, mistress.”

I took out the remote and pulled off my dress, then undid my bra and underwear. I grabbed my harness from my play bag, a custom one framing my breasts, with a strap ring. Cursing myself for leaving the dildo at Spencer’s apartment, I grabbed one from my bag, opened the sealed bag, and put it on.

I grabbed the remote and walked down to my bedroom, seeing Spencer with his legs spread, plug glinting between his cheeks. I turned it on low, just to watch him squirm, and he groaned, eyes trained on me as I entered, drinking in the sight.

I got on the bed, running my hand over his ass, and he groaned. I turned off the plug and gripped the base of the plug, slowly pulling it out. He whined and groaned at the loss, then gasped when I circled his ass with the tip of my strap.

“Mistress,” he moaned, “Fuck, please.”

“Please what, little whore?” I asked.

“Fuck me, ma’am, fuck my asshole, make me feel so good, please.”

I smiled, pushing the tip past the ring of muscle, holding his hips down so I could be gentle, entering slowly. He moaned loudly but understood why I was going slowly and fought to stay still.

Once I was all the way in, I released his hips, giving him time to adjust. He moaned and shifted his hips, watching me. When he got comfortable, I pulled most of the way out and thrust into him, making him groan. Over and over, setting a comfortable rhythm, making Spencer grip the sheets.

“Grab the headboard and keep your hands there,” I ordered.

He rushed to obey, bracing against the headboard as I sped up, making him moan and gasp. I reached forward, stroking him in tempo with my thrusts, his hips jerking.

“Ma’am, mistress, please,” he groaned, eyes rolling back into his head, “Fuck, you make me feel so good, mistress, please don’t stop.”

I smiled, bracing my knees and using my other hand to choke him. His arm muscles tightened, and I could tell he was close to cumming.

“Mistress, please, fuck, I want to cum for you, please let me cum.”

I let go of him and he whined, “Mistress, please.”

“You touched yourself in the car, little whore, I saw you grinding on your hand in the car.” I smirked.

“Ma’am, please, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I’m sorry, fuck, please.” He stuttered, tripping over his words.

I continued stroking him again, but he saw the look in my eyes. As soon as he started begging again, I released him.

“On the way home, you spent ten minutes grinding on your hand,” I told him, “I timed you. So, I am going to edge you ten times before you cum.”

He groaned but nodded.

By the fifth time, he was barely able to speak. I paused, causing him to groan, and looked at him, worried. “Color?”

He took a few deep breaths, then nodded at me, “Green, ma’am.”

I nodded, and began fucking him again, slowly at first to make sure he was okay, then faster. He lost himself in the feeling again, and I enjoyed seeing him struggle, knowing he was loving it.

After the eighth time, he was quickly at the edge and begging every time I started touching him again, but I was going to get him to ten even if it took seconds.

After the ninth, I gave him a little break from both sensations, but he quickly began pushing back on my strap again. I smiled and began fucking him, not touching his cock yet, but he didn’t need it.

“Please, mistress, I want to cum, fuck, please!” He was almost screaming.

I decided to forgo the last time if he could cum without the aide of my hand. “Let go of the headboard.” He obeyed, and I gripped his hair and pulled him close to me, and I marked his chest just below the collarbone darkly. “Come.”

He didn’t need anything else. I felt some of his cum hit my chest as I marked him. He bit my shoulder hard, moaning and cursing. As he finished cumming and his breathing slowed, I pulled my head away and kissed his neck, slowly shifting my hips out of him. He groaned.

“Thank you, mistress,” he whispered, voice hoarse. “Felt so good, fuck.”

I smiled, laying him down and shifting away to take my harness off, then grabbing wipes and cleaning myself and Spencer off. I tried to use a light hand around his cock and ass, knowing he’d be sensitive. He whined and twitched a little but assured me he was okay. I threw the wipes away and picked up a zip-up hoodie for Spencer and a big t-shirt for myself, pulling on the shirt and helping Reid shift enough to get the hoodie on. He hummed happily and I climbed into bed, holding his head in my lap as he cuddled up to me, arms wrapped around my hips.

 _I could get used to this_ , I thought, smiling down at him.

I repeated my new mantra in my head, _I am not going to fall in love with Spencer Reid._

But as I got more tired, I knew what the implication behind that was.

_I am in love with Spencer Reid._


	10. New Cases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets called away on a case, and you makes a mistake.  
> You and Emily have a heart-to-heart about your feelings.  
> Spencer decides he wants to try something new.

I woke up around 6, Spencer looking up at me. He practically had hearts in his eyes, but I assured myself it was just all the hormones after sex.

“Hey, Spence,” I said, smiling down at him.

He grinned and waved at me, humming as he cuddled into my thigh like a pillow. I chuckled and pet his hair, relaxing.

“I got a message from Em, the team is going out for dinner tonight since we have another case early tomorrow, you interested?” He asked.

I nodded, “Yeah, that sounds really nice. I can drive you back to your place if you want to change clothes, I’ll ask Emily where we’re going.”

“It’s okay, my clothes from earlier should work fine,” he shrugged, “They’re not really that dirty. Well, other than my underwear.”

“If you’re okay with that.” I grabbed my phone and checked my messages, seeing a text from Emily with an invitation and the address of a more upscale restaurant, with the message ‘Rossi is paying’.

I told Reid he has to move if we’re going to go, and he groaned and kissed the inside of my thigh, then moved away and I got up, stripping off my shirt and going to the kitchen to grab my dress. It had a little bit of a built-in bra, enough that I decided it wasn’t worth it to put one on, so I just pulled on a new pair of underwear and my heels. Spencer got dressed as well, and I realized that the collar of his shirt was placed high enough up that my present would be concealed.

“Hey, Spence,” I said, reentering the bedroom, and he perked up. “Get on your knees, hands behind your back.”

He nodded, a little confused, but obeyed. “Yes, ma’am.” He dropped to his knees, lowering his eyes and waiting patiently. I opened my toy drawer, reaching in the back to get the small box. I knelt to be on eye level with Spencer, touching lightly on the bottom of his chin so he looked at me.

I held up the box, opening it up, revealing a simple silver locking collar. He gasped, looking between me and the collar.

“(Y/N) … Are you sure?” He whispered. “I know what this means…”

“It’s a consideration collar. I want you to have it. When I’ve been the submissive in relationships, I’ve felt much more focused wearing one.” I looked him in the eyes. “It’s up to you.”

He reached out and brushed the collar with his fingers. For the first time, Dr. Reid was speechless.

“I love it.” He looked up at me, smiling, “I’d really like to wear it.”

I smiled, taking it out of the box and showing him how to put it on. “It’s not a true locking collar, there’s just a release mechanism on the side of the pendant.” I explained. “I wanted to get one that you can hide beneath your shirt if you want, it’s up to you.”

I clasped it for him, and he looked up at me, smiling sweetly, and kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you.”

I nodded and helped him up, then grabbed my phone.

**_Message to: Emily_   
** **Reid’s driving me, I want to get hammered. On the way soon.**

**_Message from: Emily_   
** **On a Sunday? Wow, who or what are you drinking away?**

**_Message to: Emily_   
** **No comment.**

Reid grabbed his phones and keys, I grabbed both of mine and my house keys, and he looped one hand around the collar as I held his other one. On the way to the restaurant, he didn’t say anything, but was beaming with happiness.

Realizing I hadn’t mentioned it earlier, I got out my alternative phone and messaged Spencer.

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **You can take that off whenever you want. But when you’re wearing it, remember what it means.**

We arrived at the restaurant and got out. Emily and Rossi greeted us at the door, we were the last ones to arrive, but only by a few minutes. We all sat down, Reid and I ended up next to each other, but neither of us minded.

These dinners were one of the best parts of the job. We didn’t have to worry about murderers or new cases or anything else, it was just a dinner for friends. We all pestered Garcia about her new girlfriend (official already!), JJ doted over Henry as usual, and Hotch countered with stories about Jack. Reid, of course, took Henry’s side, he was obligated as the kid’s godfather, but the rest of us stayed out of it.

By the time the night was over, everyone but Spencer was a little bit tipsy, but I, true to my word, had downed several drinks and was more than a little bit drunk. It wasn’t usual for me, and I earned a raised eyebrow from Hotch.

“You’ll be fine at work tomorrow?” He asked as I ordered a glass of wine. His voice was partially teasing, but also serious.

I nodded. “I know my limits.”

He shrugged, unsure of what else to say, and I downed a few more glasses before being cut off. When we were done, all making out way out, Emily pulled me away from my position hanging off Spencer’s shoulder.

“Hey, what’s going on?” She asked, JJ also wandering over.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She gave me a look, and repeated the question, “You’re clearly not okay, now what’s going on?”

“Just drinking away the bullshit of my life,” I slurred, probably a little too loudly.

JJ walked over, “(Y/N), do you need a cab?”

I shook my head, “Spence will drive me home. Such a gentleman, what a wonderful boy.”

Emily sighed, “You need a lot of water, Advil, and sleep. C’mon, I’ll drive you.”

I groaned but followed, head spinning, and laid down in the back seat. Emily found my address and began driving.

“Em?” I groaned from the backseat.

“Yeah?” she asked, “Please don’t say you’re about to throw up.”

“No, not that. I… I think I’m in love with the guy I’m banging.” I muttered.

“Do I get to know who this guy is?”

I sighed, shaking my head, “Doesn’t really matter… But I promised myself it would just be sex, and now I’m catching feelings, and I don’t know what to do.”

Emily sighed, “Why is it such a big deal if you like him?”

I hesitated, “We know each other outside of banging, and have a lot of mutual friends, and it would make it weird.”

She nodded, “Just to talk to him, figure it out, be clear what you want out of the relationship, and talk about how to not make it uncomfortable.”

“I’m more worried about what will happen if we ever break up.”

“No one knows,” she sighed, “It’s impossible to predict what will happen, just be open about your feelings and if they ever go away, don’t hide it, be honest.”

“Okay.” I had no idea what else to say.

She arrived at my house, opened the back door, and practically carried me to my door. “You should text Reid and make sure he knows you’re okay, since he was going to drive. Also, maybe text JJ. And Hotch. Just… tell the entire team you’re safe, okay?”

I nodded, “You’re a sweetheart, Emily.”

She smiled and waved, “See you tomorrow, bright and early.”

I groaned and stumbled to the bedroom, plugged my phones in, and grabbed my work phone.

**_Message to: BAU Fam_   
** **Emily got me home safe. Sorry about my behavior tonight. See you all tomorrow.**

**_Message to: Spencer Reid_   
** **Sorry about tonight.**

Before anyone responded, I pulled on a nightshirt and went to bed.

***

The next morning, I woke up cursing my dumb drinking habits, took painkillers and drank a lot of water, set a pot of coffee to boil, and pulled on clothes. I ended up just pouring the entire pot into my oversized travel container, grabbed my bag, and stumbled out the door, making my way into the briefing room just as Garcia was starting, downing half the pot before we even finished the briefing.

When we arrived at the hotel, Emily volunteered to take a room with me, and we dumped our bags. Mine felt heavier than usual, but I brushed it off as nothing and we left to get to the scene.

It was only when we arrived back that night that I opened it up and yelled, “MOTHERFUCKING BAG OF SHITS.” Hungover me doesn’t have any cursing impulse control.

Emily ran out of the shower, shampoo in her hair and completely naked, scrambling for her gun, but I was already on my bed laughing. She peeked at my bag and began laughing along with me. Of course I had grabbed the wrong bag.

“You have something you want to tell me about your personal life?” she asked, “Or maybe your plans for this case?”

I flipped her off and groaned, “Can I borrow a nightshirt?”

She nodded, getting one and tossing it to me, then finishing her shower. I heard knocking at the door.

I opened it to see Morgan, JJ, Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer outside, all looking worried, hands resting on their belts.

“Are you two OK?” Rossi asked.

I nodded, searching for an excuse, “I, uh, forgot to do laundry and brought my dirty clothes. I’ll borrow from Emily.”

“Why all the cursing?” Hotch asked.

“Headache, I’m just mad at myself.” I muttered, “Sorry.”

Satisfied with my answers, everyone but Spencer walked away.

“I saw two very similar duffel bags in your house…” he started.

“Yes, I brought my play bag instead of my go bag.” I hissed, “Not a word.”

He laughed and waved as I closed the door.

Emily was toweling her hair off. “Let me guess, that bag has something to do with the boy you were talking about last night?”

“Yeah, basically,” I shrugged. Easier than saying I regularly go to BDSM parties. I didn’t doubt that Emily would know what they are, and had probably been to one, but I still didn’t feel like explaining it. “Can you try to forget what you saw?”

“Absolutely never.” She laughed, “If you ever get married, I know what your bachelorette party theme is.”

I wouldn’t really complain about that. Even though anything she got me would probably be stuff I already had.

My alternate phone buzzed, and Emily once again gave me a look.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Bummer we’re not sleeping in the same room, I’d like to explore that duffel.**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **I would threaten to hit you for that comment, but you’d like it too much.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Do I ever get to see what’s in the bag?**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **I bought you a fair amount of what’s in it. If you ever want to go to a party, I’ll let you take a look.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Tempting. I’ll think about it. Send me details on upcoming ones?**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **I’ll send you the calendar I keep, most of them are p regular. LMK which you’re interested in and I can tell you more. No pressure**

I turned the phone off, put it back in my bag, and curled up in bed, ready for another day of work in the morning, thoughts about taking Spencer to a party running through my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not projecting.  
> Definitely not projecting.


	11. New Words

The next few days were a whirlwind of interrogations, two intense car chases, stumbling on an entire crime ring on accident, and very little sleep. We finally managed to finish the case a week and a half later, and we finally got on the plane that afternoon. It was one of the more satisfying cases we’d closed recently, and we celebrated on the way back.

I drove back to my house with my bag, pouring myself a drink as I scrolled through Reid’s list, pondering about the next few days. Hotch had given us the rest of the week off, giving us three days, plus the end of today, since our weekend had been stolen.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Is it too late to RSVP for the party this weekend?**

I grinned, quickly typing out a response.

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Nope, host knows me and we can go. We should talk about etiquette before, though.**

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **See you soon**

I smiled, walking to my room to choose an outfit. I bit my lip, wondering how much I should tease Spencer, and ended up choosing a leather corset, lace-up boots, and black crotchless panties.

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Bring the toys we got. I want to decide what to bring with you, and pick outfits.**

He sent a thumbs up, and I went through my bag, cleaning my toys. I did this before parties anyways, and it was a good idea after having them on the plane and hotel, even if they were still in their bags. I bit my lip, then decided to unpack it and go through it with Spencer. He’d seen some of the toys before, but it was still a good idea to go over them.

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds  
_** **About to leave. Outfit requests?**

**_Message to: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **Something comfortable. You’ll be trying on outfits. Door is unlocked.**

I smiled as I watched him start typing several times, then settled on

**_Message from: Boy in the Reeds_   
** **10 minutes.**

I grinned.

**_Message to: Master of the House_   
** **Might be coming this weekend with a guest. I’ll vouch for him & let you know as soon as we decide.**

**_Message from: Master of the House_   
** **Sounds good. Can’t wait to meet your new boy toy.**

Surveying the table again, with a veritable cornucopia of toys spread out, I smiled and relaxed on the couch, scrolling through my phone with one leg thrown over the back of the couch and the other resting on the ground. Anyone who walked in the door would have a perfect view of my crotchless panties.

I heard Spencer’s car pull up but didn’t move at all. He opened the door and immediately saw me, spread out on the couch, smiling and waiting.

“Hey- oh- wow.” He blinked in surprise. “You look amazing. That’s… certainly an outfit.”

I smiled, standing up and walking over to him, turning around to display my whole outfit, ending up right in front of him. I watched him try to keep his eyes on mine, but I saw him glancing down the corset.

“Do you like it?”

He nodded, “You’re beautiful. Seriously, really stunning.”

“Thank you, pet.”

He gulped at the nickname, and I took his hand, leading him over to the table. My toys were sorted by type, covering most of my dining table. His eyes flashed with recognition at some, but others were new.

“These are all fairly standard toys you’ll encounter at a party, and I’ve used all of them. I’ll answer any questions you have about any of them, and you can tell me if you want to avoid any of them. Then we’ll talk about party etiquette.”

He nodded. The ones closest to him were basics- dildos (normal and double-ended), plugs, different types and sizes of vibrators (with and without remotes), and rope.

He picked up a pair of Kegel balls. “What are these?”

“Kegel balls,” I answered, “Used to strengthen pelvic muscles in the vagina. You don’t normally use them at parties, but they’re sometimes fun to wear to parties, and these particular ones vibrate, which makes them much more interesting.”

He nodded, set them down, and continued looking. His eyes skated over the various cock rings, but raised an eyebrow at one, picking it up.

“The gates of hell,” I said, “Multi-layer cock ring, it’s a wonderful combination of pleasure and torture, or so I’ve heard. Bit of a pain to put on, though.”

He seemed more interested in that, though he didn’t say anything, and put it back down. Nipple clamps and play collars were next, and I saw his hand drift up to the collar I’d given him. He hadn’t worn it during the case, but I’d seen him reach his hand up a few times as if to hold it, like he was now.

His eyes lingered on the anal hook, and he bit his lip lightly. I didn’t let that one slide.

“See anything you like?”

He nodded, “The anal hook, ma’am.”

I was a little surprised at his candid response. “Do you want to try using that?”

“Not yet, I want get used to plugs first, but in the future, yes.”

I nodded, satisfied with his answer.

He raised his eyebrows at the speculum, picking it up. “Do you like, uh, medical play?”

I shrugged, “Not my favorite, but I’ve tried it. Plus, I have a couple friends that like using that on their asses.”

Most of the rest of the table had outfits or bondage equipment, none of which surprised him.

“Is there anything that’s a definite no for you on this table?” I asked.

He shook his head, “A couple maybes, but nothing I’m completely opposed to. And many things I’m interested to try.”

I smiled, picking up a cock ring, blindfold, paddle, play collar, and inflatable dildo. Spencer didn’t say anything, but his eyes widened.

“Color?” I asked.

“Green, ma’am,” he said, “Though I don’t know exactly what we’re doing yet.”

“There’s a movie I’ve been meaning to watch, but since you’re here I guess I’ll have to multitask.” I walked over to the couch, tossing a pillow on the floor. “Strip and get on your knees.”

He rushed over, pulling off his clothes, and dropped to his knees, legs spread and hands behind his back. I grabbed the collar and blindfold. I held up the collar first.

“Is this okay?” He nodded eagerly, and I buckled it around his neck, then slipped the blindfold over his eyes.

He settled down, humming happily. I got up again, getting the inflatable dildo and pumping it a few times, checking for any leaks. When I was satisfied it was intact, I deflated it, grabbed lube, and coated it. Deflated, it wasn’t that large, but I wanted to make sure it was comfortable for Spencer. I circled the tip of it around his ass, and he whined.

“Stay in place, whore.” I ordered.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I pushed it into his ass a little, and he gasped, then relaxed. I pushed it a little further, and he again tensed and relaxed. I repeated that process until it was all the way in, fully seated. I pumped it once, and he gasped.

“What was that?” he asked.

“I’ll forgive you speaking out of order, slut.” I chuckled.

He whined, “Yes, mistress, I’m sorry.”

I grabbed the paddle, sat down on the couch, and turned on a random movie. I really hadn’t planned on watching anything, but this was much more fun. I told him to wait on his hands and knees, setting down another pillow. I rose the paddle and brought it down on his ass with no warning, careful to avoid the small tube coming out of the plug.

“Ah! One, ma’am, thank you.”

Again. “Two, thank you, ma’am.”

I smiled, and watched the movie idly, occasionally giving him another smack. Every ten strikes, I pumped the plug again. By the time the credits began rolling, Spencer had taken fifty strikes, was panting and moaning, leaning on his elbows, and his ass was bright red. I turned off the TV and told him to sit up, and he did, hissing as his ass hit his ankles. I took off the blindfold and pulled out the plug, making him whine.

I stood up, moving around him. “Sit down on the couch.”

He hesitated, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Color?”

“Green, I think.” He sat down.

I nodded, “You can say any of the safe words whenever you want.”

“I know, ma’am, thank you.”

I sat down, stroked him a couple times, and slipped the cock ring on. He whined and bucked his hips up, gasping as the fabric of the couch rubbed against his sensitive cheeks.

Just as he settled down, I leaned down and took him into my mouth. He moaned and I took him all the way. He was longer than average, and I had to keep my jaw slack to fit him all the way, but I could take him completely.

“Holy shit, mistress, your mouth feels so good.” He moaned, resting one hand on my head.

Normally I wouldn’t tolerate that from a submissive, but I didn’t mind from him. I held his hips and took him all the way into the back of my throat, and I gagged a little, pulling off, circling his tip with my tongue and looking up at him. I sucked gently on the tip then took him all the way down again, moving more quickly this time. His hips bucked up a few times, but I pushed his hips down and he understood.

I could taste the precum dripping from his cock, and licked it off, then continued my ministrations.

“Mistress, fuck, please,” he moaned, hand tightening a little in my hair.

I could tell he was being careful not to force me down, but he seemed to realize what he was doing and shifted to grip the couch instead. I hummed, and he gasped, so I began moaning around him, causing him to beg more, words breaking.

“Ah- fuck- ma’am! Feels- so- so good- please.”

I popped off the tip, looked up and him, and stroked him slowly. He was panting, arms clenching, and I decided to take pity on him. I pulled off the cock ring, pumped him, and licked around his tip.

“Come on me, little whore.” I ordered.

“Fuck! Mistress- fuck- oh, yes,” Reid moaned, hips bucking up as he came on my face and chest.

I waited until he finished, rose to me feet, and grabbed wipes from the table. I wiped off my face and chest, then passed the package to Spencer, who wiped down himself, still breathing heavily.

I sat down and he leaned against me. “We need to talk about party etiquette still.” I said.

“I read up online and you can tell me tomorrow.” He muttered.

I nodded and helped him up, walking down to the bedroom. He curled up on the bed and I smiled, helping him into a sweatshirt.

“I’ll be right back, I need to clean the toys, okay?” I said.

He nodded, “Okay, that’s okay.”

I walked back to the living room, picking up the toys, then walking to my bathroom to clean them. Satisfied that they were clean, I placed them on a towel and took off my clothes, pulling on a nightshirt and crawling into bed, curling around Spencer and turning the light off.

My mantra came back.

_I am not falling in love with Spencer Reid._

_I will not fall in love with Spencer Reid._

_Nothing is going to happen romantically between me and Spencer Reid._

_I am not falling in love with Spencer Reid._

But as my sleep enveloped me, I had to say it to him, in a whisper barely louder than a breath. “I love you.”


	12. Worlds Better Left Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally admit your feelings to Reid, and go on a shopping trip.

I woke up to Spencer kissing down my neck.

“Hey, Spence.” I pet his hair.

He hummed, tugging on my shirt as his hands travelled down my hips.

“Wow, I guess you just aren’t satisfied, huh?” I laughed, pulling my shirt off.

“I didn’t pleasure you last night, ma’am,” he said, hands trailing over my body, “I want to make you feel good.”

I didn’t expect him to be such a service submissive, but I wasn’t complaining.

“What a good little slut,” I hummed, spreading my legs.

He looked up at me, “May I touch you, mistress?”

I nodded and his hand slowly trailed down to between my legs, one finger circling my clit as his tongue did the same around my nipple. I relaxed back as he worked slowly, but eventually decided I wanted more.

“Go faster, pet,” I ordered, gripping his hair.

“Yes, ma’am,” he whined, beginning to tease my clit faster.

He sucked my nipple, biting softly, and I groaned. Encouraged, he pushed one finger inside of me.

“Fuck, Spence,” I gasped, “Put your mouth on my clit.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He hummed and moved down, and I shifted my legs.

He began moaning against me, and I could feel the vibrations to my core. My hand tightened in his hair, and I ground up against him a little. He pushed another finger inside of me, sucking on my clit harder.

“Don’t stop, slut, fuck, just like that,” I moaned, and bit my lip as I came.

I expected him to stop, but he didn’t, only taking a short break before going back to teasing my clit, using his other hand to play with one of my nipples. I bucked against him, moaning and gasping. He hummed and moaned against me, fingers moving faster inside of me, curling them a little to hit my sweet spot.

“Fuck, such a good little slut, making your mistress feel so good,” I groaned, “Keep going, you’re so good for me.”

He added another finger, pumping them in and out of me quickly, and moaned around my clit. Before I could say anything else, my hand tightened in his hair and I moaned, cumming again. He hummed around me, licking me and moaning at the taste before sitting up.

“Thank you, Spence,” I smiled, “That felt amazing.”

I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to taste myself on his lips, but I couldn’t.

He hummed and curled up next to me again, and I knew I had to say something. “Spence?”

He looked up at me, “What’s up?”

“Can we… talk about some kind of label to put on this?” I asked.

He nodded. “Why, do you not think friends with benefits works?”

I bit my lip. “I… I guess that works.”

He nodded, but I suck at hiding my feelings.

“You want to try being more than that, don’t you?” he said, with that same puppy dog look.

I nodded.

“Finally,” he muttered, and moved up to kiss me.

His lips pushed up against mine and I gasped, cupping his cheek and kissing him back. I moved so I was straddling his legs, and he wrapped his arms around me. His lips were soft, a little chapped, and I could still taste my cum on his tongue.

What felt like a beautiful eternity later, I breathlessly pulled away, “Spence, I don’t want to do this if you don’t want it. Just because I’m acting as your dominant doesn’t mean that I control this relationship. I need to know you want this.”

He pulled me in to another kiss, shorter and more chaste, but still passionate. “I’ve wanted this for so long, you have no idea.”

I nuzzled into his neck and kissed him behind his ear. “I guess we’ve got to admit to the team that this is a thing now.”

“I guess so,” he laughed, “But what exactly do we say? ‘Hey, all, we screwed several times, done some very kinky stuff, and then finally kissed and admitted we liked each other’?”

“I think we don’t need to say all of that.” I kissed him on the cheek. “Now can we go drink coffee?”

“And this is why I want to date you.”

“So, I guess we’re going to that party tomorrow night? And I can tell Jenna we’re dating now?”

He raised an eyebrow, “Is she still asking about me?”

“Yeah, you’re hot and she’s interested, and she kind of knew I liked you.” I shrugged, “She’s known me for a while.”

“Is she going tomorrow?” He asked.

I sat up, surprised, “Are you really interested in doing something with her?”

He shrugged, “What can I say, you’re making me more adventurous.” There was a teasing smile on his face, but I didn’t think he was kidding.

“I can ask, but don’t push yourself. You don’t need to rush anything.” I assured him.

“(Y/N), you aren’t my first partner,” he reminded me, “And it wouldn’t be my first threesome, either.”

I knew he’d had sex before, but that surprised me. “Oh… kay. I wasn’t expecting that.”

He laughed, “I have three PhDs, I did have some time in college while I was of age.”

I shrugged, “I guess I just assumed the great Dr. Reid spent all his time studying. You have proven me wrong.”

Pulling my shirt back on, I walked to the kitchen, quickly packing up my bag, realizing I’d forgotten last night.

Reid followed, waiting until I’d finished and put the coffee on to brew before wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my shoulder. In all my fantasies, I never thought he’d be so affectionate, but I wasn’t complaining. Once I set the coffee to brew, I turned around, pulling him down for a kiss. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he picked me up, sitting me down on the counter. He began kissing down my neck, then pulled the collar of my shirt down and began sucking a dark mark onto the soft muscle between my collar bone and my shoulder. I knew any bra would push against that spot, and I was sure he knew that as well. What a menace…

When the coffee pot beeped, though, he perked up, pulling away, and I laughed. “I’m glad you’ve got your priorities straight.”

He stuck his tongue out at me, opening the cabinet and grabbing two mugs. As he poured the coffee, I checked both my phones.

**_Message to: Master of the House_   
** **Bringing my ‘boy toy’ tomorrow. Well, boyfriend.  
** **See you then.**

**_Message from: Emily_   
** **Meeting up with your FWB this weekend? And are you going to talk to him, or just use the bag?**

I groaned, regretting not double- and triple-checking my bag.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked.

I sighed, “Remember when I got really drunk? I told Emily I was banging this guy, but I had feelings, and then she saw what was in my bag because I’m an idiot and now she’s asking if I’m seeing him this weekend.”

He shrugged, “You could just send her a picture of us.” He said it so casually the implications didn’t register for a second.

“Are- wait, are you sure, Reid? We can take this more slowly,” I reminded him.

“I’ve been thinking about kissing you since you joined the team, and I don’t think I’ve always been subtle.” he handed my coffee to me, “And I went into this knowing what the possible outcomes were. But if you don’t want to say anything, I will keep my lips sealed.”

I thought for a second, then shrugged, “Why not?”

I opened my camera and held up my coffee, Spencer grinning behind me holding his, and tapped to take a picture. I kissed his cheek and snapped another one, then he moved to kiss me, and I took several more. I could taste the sugared coffee.

When we broke apart, I scrolled through the photos, trying to decide which one to send to Emily. I eventually said ‘screw it’, confirmed my decision with Spencer, and sent her the one of me and him right before we kissed.

**_Message to: Emily_   
** **One attachment.**

**_Message to: Emily_   
** **Say hi to my boyfriend.**

Typing that, and knowing I was talking about Spencer, was thrilling.

“You should tell the entire team; second-hand gossip is never good.” He advised, then decided to raid my pantry for breakfast.

I opened the group chat, selected the picture of me kissing Reid’s cheek (he was beaming), and sent it.

**_Message to: BAU Fam_   
** **Reid and I have something to tell you.**

**_Message to: BAU Fam_   
** **One attachment.**

As soon as I sent that, Spencer’s phone buzzed, but he waved it off and pulled out the box of Lucky Charms.

“I want some sugar, pour me a bowl too,” I told him, then went to the fridge to get milk. By the time I’d put it in my cereal and sat down, the group chat was blowing up.

**_Message to: BAU Fam from: Garcia_   
** **OMG!!! Tell me he isn’t who you were talking about.**

**_Message to: BAU Fam from: Rossi_   
** **Finally, lovebirds, congratulations.**

**_Message to: BAU Fam from: Hotch_   
** **Happy to see you both smiling.  
** **Please remember this cannot affect work.**

**_Message to: BAU Fam from: Morgan_   
** **My man! She’s quite the catch.**

**_Message to: BAU Fam from: Garcia_   
** **This explains the clothes! I can’t believe I’m that blind.  
** **And stop being a buzzkill, Hotch.**

**_Message to: BAU Fam from: JJ_   
** **Aww, you two are cute. Henry may have seen the picture and is now practically planning the wedding…**

**_Message to: BAU Fam_   
** **We’re not moving that quickly, JJ!**

Spencer, reading the chat over my shoulder, laughed. “It’s Henry, I think he’d be just as excited if I got a dog.”

I laughed, that setting me at ease, and we ate breakfast in a comfortable silence.

“I guess I should pick your outfit for tomorrow then, in case we need to go shopping.” I looked up as I said that, trying to gauge Spencer’s reaction.

“Is there a theme or…”

“Not for this one, I wouldn’t start you out with that. There are pretty common outfits, but it mostly depends on the person.” I shrugged, “If you wear more than a skimpy shirt and bottoms that barely cover your ass, people will look at you weird, though. Dress code goes pretty much from that to stickers on your nipples.”

Reid coughed a little at that, and I smiled. Trying to recover, he asked, “What- what do you normally wear?”

“Depends on my mood. Generally, my outfits vary from a corset and boots to a rope harness, I’ve shown up to a few events in a specific outfit or in nothing, it really depends.”

Spencer’s mouth practically watered at the thought, but tried to refocus, “So, what do you want me to wear?”

“Well, as you pointed out earlier, you did spend a lot of time in college,” I smiled, “And I really can’t stop thinking about you in a little schoolgirl skirt.”

“Does that mean we’re going shopping?” He asked, trying to remain casual.

“It depends on if you fit into any of the ones I have,” I answered, “I have a few different sizes. I’ve got a thing for the whole teacher/student dynamic, so…”

 _Especially when I’m the student_ , I thought.

I think he saw the look behind my eyes but chose not to say anything about it. I had no idea how he felt about switching our dynamic, and I didn’t want to push anything. I was still surprised he even wanted to be more than casual partners.

He downed the rest of his cup of coffee and walked to the counter to refill it, “Should we try those on, then?”

I smiled, walking down to the bedroom and opening my closet. It was sorted by situation and type of clothing, so all the pleated schoolgirl skirts were together. I grabbed the ones that might fit him and walked back out. He was already halfway through his next cup of coffee.

I held out the skirts, “I’m really not sure if any of these will work, they’re cut for a more feminine figure, but feel free to try.”

Since he was only in a sweatshirt and boxers (I assumed he’d put them on in the morning, since they weren’t on when I fell asleep, he took them, looking at the tags, and eventually grabbing one. This one was a simple elastic waist, cropped short, and he pulled it up. It fit close around his hips but fell low enough to be decent (at least by party standards). He pulled up the sweatshirt so I could see the waistband, and I noticed it was a little tight.

“That works, but it might be uncomfortable after a while,” I pointed out, “We can get a different one, if you’d like.”

He hesitated, and I knew he wanted to, but was clearly still uncomfortable about me buying anything for him.

“We’re going shopping.” I decided, “Do you want to pick up a change of clothes before we go, or…”

He shook his head, “I put those clothes on right before I came over, and I didn’t wear them for very long.” He trailed off, thinking about the night before.

I nodded, “Get dressed, then, and we’ll go.”

I walked back to my room, pulling on a skirt and t-shirt. Normally, I’d wear something nicer, but I was feeling more casual and I knew Spencer wouldn’t care. Looking around the room, I spotted the collar I’d bought for him on the nightstand. I wasn’t surprised; it was technically dangerous to sleep with it on, since it could get caught in something. I grabbed it and slipped it into my pocket, in case he wanted to wear it.

I walked back to find Reid kneeling on a pillow, waiting.

“Can you put on the collar, ma’am?” He asked, eyes trained on the ground.

I bent down in front of him, carefully wrapping it around his neck and clasping it, then kissing him. He smiled, and I took his hand to let him stand up.

“Thank you,” he muttered, “Ma’am.”

I grabbed both my phones, my wallet, and my keys, and we walked out.

***

By the time we got back, I’d bought several outfits for Spencer, including three skirts of varying lengths, and he’d had to bite his tongue several times, even though I didn’t let him see any receipts.

We got home, and I told him to carry the bags in as I pulled my phone out.

**_Message to: Stripper Chick ;)_ **

**Spencer and I will be @ the party tomorrow. You?**

**_Message from: Stripper Chick ;)_ **

**Anything for the possibility of some time with him. You’re an angel!**

I laughed, remembering the several times when one of us had worn an angel outfit to a party or event, and walked inside. When I got to the bedroom, Spencer had laid out the outfits we’d picked, and was standing back, waiting. He’d also taken out the lingerie I’d bought during our last shopping trip.

I surveyed the clothing, then walked forward, picking the longer of the skirts we’d bought, a red & black checked pattern cut slightly higher in the back, and a lacy red pair of boyshorts.

“These, and I’m assuming you have a white button-down at home. Simple, plain shoes.” I told him.

He nodded, “Yes, ma’am.”

I could see his imagination racing, and a slight bulge in his pants.

“What’s on your mind, Reid?” I asked, setting the clothes down and walking towards him.

He shifted, “Just excited, ma’am.”

I smiled, reaching up to kiss him, then brushed one hand over the front of his pants. He gasped into my mouth and I smiled, stepping away.

“I should probably put aloe on your ass to make sure it’s not too sore tomorrow.” I said, “Hang up the skirts on the left side of the closet, strip, and lay face-down on the bed, okay?”

He obeyed, and I walked to the bathroom to grab my container of aloe vera. His ass was still red, and I rubbed the cream in softly, making Spencer groan and tense up, but relaxed at the cooling feeling. I finished and closed the tube, cleared the remaining clothing off the bed, and laid down, cuddling up next to Reid.

Spencer hummed, laying on my chest, and I hugged him close, as if to make sure he wouldn’t leave.


	13. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer have fun at the party.

I made sure to go through the bag once more with Spencer before getting dressed. I went with my classic outfit- lace corset, a short skirt, and leather thigh-high lace-up boots. Spencer pulled on his skirt, awkwardly tucking in his white shirt, which was almost long enough to pass the end of the skirt.

He knelt for me to clasp the collar around him. I did, wrapping one finger around it and pulling him close to me. “This means you are mine. I tell you who you can play with, who you can touch, and what can do. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he whispered.

“What was that, slut? I can’t hear you.” I growled.

“Yes, Mistress!”

I hummed, then kissed him. “Good little pet. Let’s go.”

He stood eagerly and we walked to the car, Spencer fiddling with his hands as I drove.

“You checked that you have the right bag, right?” He teased as we pulled up.

“I should spank you for that comment.” I muttered, “But I’m guessing you want that.”

He shrugged, “I have no idea what you mean.”

I grabbed the bag from my backseat, took his hand, and rung the doorbell. Amanda, the host, opened the door, pulling me into a hug.

“Good to see you!” she said, “You look fabulous. I’m glad you came.”

“Good to see you too, Amanda. Spence, this is Amanda, the host.” I said, “She’s one of my oldest friends in the scene.”

She held out her hand, “I’m glad to see (Y/N) found someone. It’s wonderful to meet you.”

He smiled, avoiding taking her hand. I gave him a look.

“I know you don’t like shaking hands because of the germs, but we are in a house where that’s not even close to the most germ-transmitting thing people do.” I reminded him.

“Right. Sorry. Habit,” he said, shaking Amanda’s hand.

She raised an eyebrow at me, and I just shrugged. “FBI habits.”

“Feel free to drop your bag in the closet, and don’t drink too much. And leave your phones in the closet.” She waved us in, greeting the next guests.

I looked around the room, searching for anyone familiar, and spotted Jenna’s bright colored hair across the room. “Spence,” I said, “If you want to say hi to Jenna, she’s over there. Remember what I told you, approach, offer, and walk away unless she talks to you.”

He nodded, beginning to walk over to her as I grabbed a soda from the bar. I kept an eye on Reid but decided to let him have his own time with Jenna. I sat on a couch, relaxing, eyes scanning the room, but mainly focusing on Spencer. A few minutes later, he walked back to me, sitting down.

“Well?” I asked. I knew if he asked outright, she’d say yes, but l never knew with him.

“I don’t know how do this,” he whined, “I’m still new to this, ma’am.”

“Let’s go upstairs, I’ll talk to her.” I offered.

He nodded, and I nodded at Jenna. She understood, and we walked upstairs.

“Closed doors are off limits, open doors mean you can watch, always ask before joining, and ask about safe words if you do.” He recited, “Don’t say anything negative in earshot.”

The first few doors were closed, and we walked quietly past them. The first open door had only two people in a relatively tame spanking scene. The woman was bent over a table, jeweled plug shining between her cheeks, while her male partner walked around her with a whip.

As we walked forward, Spencer leaned towards me. “Do you know how to use that?”

I shrugged, “I have a little practice. Not enough to feel safe, though.”

He nodded, peeking into the next room. A male tied to a chair, gagged, vibrator pressed against his cock. Spencer’s eyes caught on the restrained and turned away.

“Not a good reminder?” I asked, and he shook his head. “Okay, we can keep going or take a break if you want to.”

“Just need a second.” He answered.

I nodded, holding his hand. He gripped it tightly, squeezing three times, and I smiled.

A minute later, “I’m ready.”

We continued walking, passing a few closed doors, and I was practically watching Spencer’s mind race. Well, watching him get hard, but it was the same thing in this situation.

“Do you want to play?” I asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, “I’d like that.”

“With Jenna?”

“If you’re okay with it, ma’am.” He answered quickly.

I took his hand, leading him to an empty room. “Let’s talk about this for a second before we do anything, okay?” I closed the door behind us. “What are your limits for me with another partner?”

He thought carefully. “Can you- not kiss her, please? On the lips. The body is fine. And I don’t want either of you to mark each other, but you can mark me.”

I nodded, “That’s perfectly reasonable. What else?”

“I’d like to assume she’s clean but… I’d prefer using a condom if I penetrate her.” He glanced up, “Is that okay?”

“Spencer, you have the right to set any limits you want for this. That’s perfectly okay.” I reminded him, brushing my hand through his hair.

“I think that’s it. I’ll tell you if I think of anything else.”

“Jenna likes to be called Sir when she’s being a dom. Are you okay with that?” I checked. I knew it might be too close to work, but parental issues meant her other preferred nickname would probably be a no.

“That’s okay, Mistress.” He answered.

“I want you to kneel down in front of the bed, facing the door. Take your shoes off but leave your shirt and the skirt on.” I said, “I’m going to get Jenna and some toys, and I’ll come back and knock on the door four times. If it’s anything but that, tell them to go away. Got it?”

“Yes, Mistress, thank you.” He answered.

I kissed him one more time, “I’ll see you soon, Spencer.”

I stood and walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind me. I spotted Jenna close to the bottom of the stairs, waved, and walked down. “Spencer wants you to join us, if you’d like.”

She nodded, following me to the closet as I grabbed my bag. “Anything specific?”

“He said he doesn’t want us to kiss or for marks on either of us, and a condom.” I rattled off, “And he’ll call you Sir.”

She nodded, “Sounds good with me.”

I grabbed the bag and walked back up, Jenna a couple steps ahead. I finally got a good look at her outfit: booty shorts with nothing underneath, a lacy bralette, and stripper heels.

“Where’s your wife?” I asked, suddenly remembering they normally came together.

“She’s not feeling great,” Jenna shrugged, “Massive headache, but she insisted I have a good time without her.”

“Well, tell her I say thank you.” I smiled as we approached the door.

I looked at her again, “You sure?”

She nodded, “I’m calling you Ma’am or Mistress? Stoplight system and kiwi?”

“As always,” I winked, and knocked four times. We waited a second, then entered.

Spencer was kneeling, glancing up as we entered, but dropping his eyes after confirming it was us. His hands were clasped behind his back, drawing his shirt tight across his chest. His legs were spread, skirt barely covering his erection.

“What a pretty little slut,” Jenna said, walking up to him and running her hands through his hair.

I put the bag down and looked up at Spencer, “What do you say when someone compliments you?”

“Sorry, ma’am.” He stuttered, “Thank you, sir.”

I bent down and unzipped my bag, pulling out two coils of rope. I saw Spencer perk up, but he didn’t say anything. The movement wasn’t lost on Jenna, though.

“Oh, you’ve got a little rope bunny, huh?” She chuckled, then knelt beside Spencer, “You want to be tied up by your mistress?”

“Yes, sir, I like being restrained.” He answered shyly.

“Stand up, spread your legs, and put your arms out, slut,” I ordered.

He rose to his feet quickly, and Jenna trailed her hands down the front of his shirt, turning to me and raising an eyebrow. I nodded and she began making deft work of the buttons, leaving it hanging open when she finished.

“What a pretty little whore you have,” she hummed, running one nail down the center line of his chest.

“Thank you, Sir,” he said, gasping at the feeling.

I never kept my nails long, a combination of the danger of puncturing gloves and constantly picking my nails and cuticles. Jenna, on the other hand, kept hers well-maintained, bright colors, and perfectly shaped.

I watched, uncoiling the rope and walking around Reid, ending up behind him, and began slowly constructing a more intricate harness than I’d done on him before. I could feel him relax as I tied him up, but I knew he would be more excited and sensitive as soon as either of us touched him.

I finished tying the harness, double-checking my knots, then letting him drop his arms and walking around him, gripping his hair and making him gasp. “Our pretty little whore.”

He tried to nod, but my grip was too tight. “Yes, ma’am, I’m your pretty whore.”

“I want to see what he’s hiding under this slutty little skirt,” Jenna slapped his ass and he tensed. “Only a whore would wear such a short skirt, just to tease us.”

Spencer didn’t move.

“Your Sir said she wanted to see under your skirt, dirty pet.” I growled at him, tightening my grip again, “So show her.”

I released him and he moved to push the skirt down, then glanced up at me.

“The shirt too.”

He nodded, pulling it off his shirt and dropping it next to the skirt. Jenna hummed, running one hand over his bulge and kissing down his neck. He gasped and pushed into her hand. She immediately pulled her hand away.

“I thought you had an obedient pet, but it turns out he’s needy as soon as he’s touched.” She said me.

I growled at Spencer, “You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends, little slut. I expect you to be good when I introduce you to people but turns out Jenna is just going to have to help me put you in your place.”

“I’m sorry, mistress, I promise I’ll be better, I won’t do it again.” He said quickly, but he knew it was too late.

“Bend over the bed,” I ordered, “Show us your pretty little ass.”

He stepped away from his skirt, turned away from us, and bent over, resting his head between his forearms. Jenna raised an eyebrow at me, but I shot her a look that said, ‘Just wait’.

I walked over to my bag, pulling out a paddle and a riding crop and holding them both out to Jenna. She chose the riding crop, swinging it against her hand a few times and smiling at the loud, sharp sound. I saw Spencer tense up at the sound, but he kept facing forward.

I walked so I was in front of Spencer, not bothering to move down to his eye level.

“You said you’d be good tonight, but so far you’ve forgotten to say thank you, you’re your clothes in a heap on the floor, thrusted into your Sir’s hand, and forgotten to address me properly when I gave you an order.”

I thought I heard him curse, but ignored it, as he immediately followed it with, “I’m sorry, Mistress, I’ll be better next time, I promise. I’m sorry, Sir.”

“You’ll have to demonstrate that in the future, but for now, I think you deserve a punishment, hm?” I asked, running one finger along his back as I walked around him.

He shivered, “Yes, Mistress, I deserve a punishment for disobeying you and Sir.”

“You’re going to receive 10 strikes from me, for the clothing and not addressing me properly.” I told him,

“Yes, Mistress, thank you, Mistress.” He answered, keeping his eyes trained ahead.

Jenna took the hint, “And 10 from me for thrusting against my hand and forgetting to say thank you when I complemented you.”

“Yes, Sir,” he said, “Thank you, Sir.”

“Beg for it.” I said.

He hesitated for a second but didn’t want to make it worse. “Please, Mistress, please, Sir, punish me, I know I’ve been bad, please remind me to be good, let me take my punishment like a good little whore.”

I smiled, rubbing his ass, still a little pink from our playtime two nights before. I watched him fight to keep his hips still, and that’s when I hit his other cheek.

“One! Thank you, ma’am.”

The second came, followed quickly by a, “Two! Thank you, ma’am.”

The next four came quickly, and I didn’t give him time to speak between them, making him wait.

“Three, four, five, six, fuck. Thank you, ah, thank you, ma’am.” He gasped.

Jenna moved to sit down in front of Spencer, spreading her legs lazily, not even bothering to put her hands inside her shorts.

“Fuck, Sir, you’re- AH! Seven, thank you, ma’am.” He started, interrupting himself when I brought the paddle down again.

Jenna smirked a little, clearly enjoying watching his face.

I brought it down again, “Eight, thank you, ma’am.”

His legs tensed, and I took a second. “Color?”

“Green, ma’am.” He answered quickly.

I brought it down two more times.

“Nine, thank you, ma’am. Ten, thank you, ma’am.”

Jenna stood up as I ran one hand over his ass, then bent down in front of him.

“Jenna’s going to punish you now. What are your safe words?” I checked.

“Red or kiwi for stop,” he responded, “Yellow for slow down or change.”

I nodded, standing up and dropping my panties before sitting down, spreading my legs. Spencer moaned at the sight, biting his lip. Taking the advantage of his distraction, Jenna drew the riding crop back and struck him. I knew she was holding back, but Spencer gasped and pushed back a little.

“One, thank you, Sir.”

She struck him again, “Two, thank you, Sir.”

Before striking him again, she glanced up at me, trying to gauge if she could go harder. I nodded. I watched him carefully during the next strike, making sure I didn’t see too much pain in his eyes. All I saw was pleasure.

“Three, thank you, Sir.”

The next five came quickly, alternating between each cheek, and Jenna left barely any time between each, just enough for him to thank her, making them bleed together.

“Seven, thank you- Eight! Thank you, Sir.”

I watched the head of the riding crop trace between his legs. I watched his arms tense up and he groaned. Taking it away quickly, she struck him again.

“Nine, thank you, Sir.”

I could see him getting excited, knowing he was getting close to the end of his punishment, and she struck him again.

“Ten, thank you, Sir.”

I stood, walking up to him, “You can stand up.”

He did, taking a second to find his balance, and looked up at us. “Thank you, Mistress, thank you, Sir.”

“You did so good for us, you took your punishment so well,” I said, stroking his cheek gently. “Such an obedient little whore for us.”

He hummed happily, and I turned to Jenna, “You really should try that mouth of his, it’s divine.”

“If you say so, ma’am,” she answered, then turned to Spencer, “You want to make me feel good?”

“Yes, Sir, I want to pleasure you.” He answered quickly, “I want to make you feel so good, want you to let me make you cum.”

I looked up at Jenna, “Grab a ring from my bag, will you? Side pocket. And a bell.”

She did, and I leaned against the bedpost, looking at Spencer, “Do you want to use a dental dam?”

“If she’s tested clean, I’m okay without using it.” He must have seen the look in my eyes, because he continued, “Really.”

Jenna handed me the ring, which I took as I stroked Reid slowly. Jenna took the opportunity to kiss her way down his neck as she placed one hand around his neck. When Reid began gasping a little with each stroke, I slipped on the ring, settling it around the base of his dick. He whined, but quickly stopped and bit his lip.

“Get on your knees and take off Jenna’s shorts.” I ordered.

“Yes, ma’am.” He turned to Jenna and dropped to his knees, glancing up for permission.

She nodded and he reached up, but I grabbed his wrist, “Keep your hands behind your back.”

“Yes, Mistress, I’m sorry.” He said, quickly clasping his hands behind his back and leaning forward, trying to find a place where he could make sure he wouldn’t bite her skin, but the shorts were latex pressed close to her skin. He hesitated, eventually deciding on the waistband, and biting it, dragging it down slowly. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized he didn’t hurt her and pulled them all the way down.

“Much better, obedient slut.” She said.

“Thank you, Sir.” He beamed at the praise.

“Spence, get on the bed, bend your knees but keep your hands by your sides.” I ordered, handing him the bell, and he rushed to obey.

“Yes, Mistress.” He scrambled to get onto the bed.

“Jenna’s going to sit on your face, and you’re going to make her cum with your tongue. If she’s okay with it, you can touch her, but keep your hands off until she tells you. I’m going to ride you, and both of us will cum at least twice before you’re allowed. Understand?”

“Yes, Mistress!” He answered eagerly.

Jenna climbed onto the bed, positioning herself above his mouth, facing the foot of the bed, while I faced her. I stroked him a few times, then slowly began to lower myself into him, listening to Spencer gasp and moan. Once I was all the way down, I nodded at Jenna.

“You can touch my hips or thighs.” She ordered him. “If you touch anywhere except there, I will cuff you.”

“Yes, Sir,” he gasped, “I understand.”

I brought myself up, until he was barely in me, watching Spencer guide Jenna down. She hummed at the feeling, relaxing and letting him pleasure her. I enjoyed watching him, holding onto Spencer’s legs to steady myself.

“Fuck, your pet has such a skilled mouth,” she groaned.

Spencer hummed appreciatively at the compliment, making Jenna gasp and grind down against him. Enjoying both of their reactions, I began riding him faster, knowing he was vocal, and he didn’t disappoint, moaning against Jenna.

“Holy shit- fuck- ah!” She moaned, “Such a good toy, making me feel so good.”

That only encouraged Spencer more, as I watched him pull her closer to his mouth.

“Fuck- you’re gonna make me- yes, just like that, ah!” She gasped, stumbling over her words and she leaned forward, bracing herself on the bed as she ground down on his mouth.

I rode him faster, making Jenna look up at me with a look combining ‘This feels amazing’ and ‘You’re not letting me catch a break’, and I just smiled. I clenched around Spencer, feeling his legs tense up under me and I was moaning, angling myself so he was hitting my sweet spot. I moaned, bringing myself closer, one hand trailing down to touch my clit, but Jenna had other ideas.

“Touch your Mistress, little slut, help make her feel good.” She ordered.

He immediately moved one hand off her hip and I took it, guiding it between my legs, and he quickly found my clit, rubbing quickly. I moaned, clenching as I got closer.

“Spence- fuck-“ I groaned, feeling him speed up, “Just like that, fuck, yes, I’m going to- ah!”

I gripped his thighs, digging my fingers in as I came, shuddering and gasping. As I stilled, trying to catch my breath, he took the chance to start thrusting up into me, continuing to stimulate my clit, muscles in his arm bulging out. Jenna, now sitting up and grinding down on Reid’s face again, brushed her hair back and grinned at me, chest heaving as she moaned.

“Don’t stop, fuck, just like that, right there,” she panted.

I ran my hands up and down his chest, bracing myself against the harness as I began moving up and down. This position, while allowing me to support myself, also let me angle my hips exactly how I wanted, making Spencer push even deeper inside me. Jenna moaned louder, and I noticed she was getting close again.

“Wait, don’t cum yet,” I said, “I’m getting close.”

She nodded, focusing on her breathing as Spencer and I both moved faster. I felt myself clenching, my hips losing tempo as I got close.

“Cum, Jenna, cum with me,” I groaned, shaking and bracing myself as I shook.

I heard her moan, saw her lean back and grind down as she gasped and came all over Spencer’s face. Panting, she lifted herself off Spencer’s face, and he looked up at me.

“Mistress,” he moaned, not stopping his movements, “Can I please cum for you?”

I looked up at Jenna, “Has he earned it?”

“He’s so good, such a good little slut, he deserves to cum for you.” She answered, moving off him and stroking his hair.

I nodded, looking down at Spencer.

“Thank you, sir, thank you for letting me cum,” he groaned, looking up at her.

Satisfied with his response, I pushed myself up on my hips, working the ring off and dropping it, then pushing him back into me. He moaned, hands clenching the bedsheets.

“Cum in me, slut, cum for your mistress and sir,” I ordered, choking him and looking him in the eyes as I did.

His eyes locked with mine and he moaned, thrusting up into me as he came, fighting not to close his eyes. He gasped and groaned, bucking up against me several times before relaxing, panting as I removed my hand from his throat, then reaching up to hold onto his collar.

“Fuck, that felt so good, holy shit,” he panted, “Thank you, sir, ma’am.”

I slowly got off of him and stood up, slowly walking over to my bag, getting a soft towel, some wipes, aloe vera, and a bag. I sat, wiping down my legs with the towel before handing it to Spencer, and passing the wipes to Jenna, dropping the ring in the bag. Spencer tried to sit up and Jenna helped him, letting him lean against her. I leaned forward to kiss him, then grabbing a wipe to help clean off his face.

“Thank you, Spencer,” I said, “You did really good for us, you took it so good.”

He hummed and turned onto his side, and I began slowly rubbing aloe into his ass as Jenna pet his hair.

“That was wonderful, Spencer, I loved it, that was really fun.” She said, making him smile.”

“Really?” he asked, looking between me and Jenna.

We both nodded, and I smiled, “I’m so proud of you, Reid, you did really well.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” he blushed and pulled me into a hug, “Thank you for taking me with you, I liked it.”

I held him with one hand and embraced Jenna with the other, “Thank you for doing that with us.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I really liked it. You’ve got a wonderful partner, both of you are really great.”

Spencer blushed deeper and tried to hide in my chest and I laughed, “Spence, really, now you’re getting shy?”

“Shut up,” he muttered, “Thank you, Jenna, I really liked playing with you.”

“Are you two okay if I go?” she asked, “I want to see if someone else I was interested in is still here.”

“You’re insatiable, Jenna. Spence, are you okay if Jenna leaves?”

He nodded, still hiding in my chest. “Thank you, sir.”

She left, closing the door quietly.

“Spencer, are you doing okay?” I asked, pulling him away so I could look at him.

He nodded, “I really like that side of you.”

“What, the hard dom side of me?” I asked, “You saw that side of me the other day.”

“It’s different when there are other people,” he muttered, “I like seeing you tell other people what to do.”

“Luckily for you, I’m extremely voyeuristic,” I pulled him into a kiss.

“Can we go home and cuddle now?” he asked quietly.

I nodded, “Do you think you can stand?”

He tried slowly, hesitating for a second, then gaining his footing. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

I nodded, “What about the harness?”

“Can I keep it on?” he asked nervously, “Makes me feel safer.”

I nodded, picking up his clothes and handing them to him. He pulled them on as I repacked my bag, picked up my panties, and grabbed his shoes, helping him put them on. I guided him down the stairs, seeing Amanda rushing over to me.

“Your phone has been going off nonstop, both of yours,” she said, holding them out, “I think they’re your work ones.”

I groaned, and Spencer muttered ‘damn’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, I couldn't resist. :)


	14. Case Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Reid get called on a case several days too early, and you make a split-second decision while on it.  
> Angst and fluff!  
> TW: Mentions of kidnapping, child abuse, and gun violence

“Shit,” I muttered, passing Spencer his, “We’ve got to go, thank you so much.”

She nodded, helping us to the door. “Is your car blocked it?”

I shook my head, “Shouldn’t be, I didn’t know how long we’d be here so I parked where it would be hard to block me in.”

She nodded, “Let me know if you need anything.”

I waved, turning on my work phone to see messages from the entire team. I saw the most recent one and groaned.

**_Message from: Hotch_   
** **Call me now.**

I immediately called him, guiding Spencer to the car.

“Hey, Hotch, I’m so sorry,” I greeted him.

“Both of you need to get to the office right now,” he said, “I know I said we’d have a long weekend, but we’ve got several missing children.”

I cursed, then took a deep breath, “I’ve got Spencer with me. We need to stop at home to grab our go bags, are we meeting you at the plane or at the office?”

“Plane. We’ll brief there. We’re already four hours in on the first victim.” He answered, “Hurry.”

I hung up and Spencer turned to me, “We’ve got a case, don’t we?”

I nodded, “I’m so sorry, Spence, you’re about to have a really painful plane ride.”

“I knew it’s a possibility. I’ll be okay, just bring the aloe.”

I nodded, ignoring the speed limit as I rushed to my house. “You’re closer to the airport. I need to get my bag. Do you want me to grab anything?”

He shook his head, then hesitated. “Any leftover coffee?”

“I’ll check.” I laughed, grabbed my bag, and rushed instead, stripping my clothes off and hopping out of my boots, cursing myself. I pulled on a pantsuit, a pair of more decent heels, and a packet of makeup wipes.

I sprinted to the kitchen, shaking the coffee pot. Relieved that there was a bit left, I pulled out a travel mug and poured all the remaining coffee into it. I paused, then grabbed a couple power bars, and double-checked I had the right bag before running out the door. I opened the side door, threw my bag in the backseat, and passed Spencer his coffee.

“You’re a lifesaver,” he smiled, taking a drink.

I drove to his house and he got out, running up the stairs. I looked down at my phone, having several messages of varying intensity and worry from all my coworkers. I opened my mirror, wiping off the small amount of makeup I’d applied, typing responses with my other hand. Spencer ran out of the building, shirt-half buttoned, revealing the rope harness, and I couldn’t help but laugh as he got in the car.

“You are undoing this at the soonest opportunity,” he muttered.

I leaned over, undoing the knot in the back. “You should be able to get it off yourself from there,” I explained as I started driving, “Just throw it in my bag.”

I pulled up to the airport, almost beating the team there, and Spencer and I both rushed out of the car, running onto the plane. Once we were up in the air, Morgan finally broke the silence.

“Do we want to know why the two of you were together and not answering your phones?” He asked.

I looked at Spencer. I didn’t care, but he might.

“We’re adults, Morgan, and it’s the weekend,” he responded, more tense than normal. Not that I could blame him.

“Well, damn, pretty boy, I was just asking a question!” he said, holding his hands up, “Who put a stick up your ass?”

I couldn’t help it. I snorted loudly, covering my mouth as Reid glared at me. The team looked between us, no one knowing what to say.

“You know what, I don’t want to think about that.” He said, sitting down. “Garcia, what do we have?”

***

After the briefing, Hotch grabbed me and Spencer, pulling us aside.

“I don’t blame the two of you for not answering your phones, and I frankly don’t care what you were doing,” he started, “But I need to know whatever this is won’t affect your ability to work together and with the team.”

“It won’t, Hotch.” I answered quickly, “And I won’t let that happen again, it’s just-“

He held up a hand, “I don’t really want to know. Just don’t make it a habit, okay?”

We both nodded, and he walked away, but Spencer held me back.

“I really need some aloe right now,” he muttered.

I pulled a travel-tube out of my pocket, “I’ve got the larger one in my bag, but I figured you might.”

“My hero.” He gave me a kiss before ducking into the bathroom, and I walked back to my seat.

Emily raised her eyebrows at me but didn’t say anything, and I wouldn’t have answered if she did. Reid came out a few minutes later, mouthed ‘Thank you’ at me, and sat down.

**_Message from: Garcia_   
** **Do I want to know what you were doing in a bougie neighborhood when we called?**

**_Message to: Garcia_   
** **Are you stalking me???**

**_Message from: Garcia_   
** **Hotch asked me to check, just in case. And you’re avoiding the question.**

**_Message to: Garcia_   
** **Creep. And no, you really don’t.**

“When we land, Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi, you go to the family’s houses. Find any connection between them. Social circles, clubs their kids are in, anything.” Hotch instructed, “The rest of us will head to the precinct and start working on the profile. Reid, I want you working the geographical angle. I know they didn’t live close, but look at parents’ work, after school activities, even places of worship.”

“Why aren’t the parents at the precinct?” I asked.

“In case the kids come home, one’s run away before,” he answered, “and they don’t want to leave. It’s not the worst idea either way, we don’t think the parents are in danger.”

***

“So, this unsub has four kids between the ages of 10 and 17, crossing racial, religious, and gender lines, no overlapping schools or activities.” I summed up, collapsing back into my chair. “Basically, we’ve got nothing.”

“They all have to have done something to upset him, maybe it’s the action instead of the kid.” Morgan wondered, “Garcia?”

“Right here, what do you need my doves?” She answered.

“Check school records for disciplinary actions, small things, taken within the last month.”

We heard typing, then, “Nothing.”

“Therapists? School counselors?” He suggested.

A couple seconds, then, “Still nothing.”

“Holy shit.” I said, standing up, “Garcia! Check substitute teachers within the last month that went to the kid’s schools. Ones who are certified to teach both middle and high school.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere!” She said excitedly. “I have ten possibilities. Wait, narrowing it down by classes… Bingo! I’ve got two went to all four schools within the past month and interacted with all the kids. Russel Steele and Sienna Bennet, I’m sending you their addresses now.”

“You’re a genius,” Hotch said, “Morgan, JJ, Reid, Rossi, you three go to Bennet’s. (Y/N), Prentiss, you’re with me.”

We all sprinted out of the office, and I was pulling up the navigation before we even got into the car.

***

I nodded to Emily, and she kicked in the door.

“FBI! Russel Steele, you’re under arrest!” She shouted.

I heard a crashing noise. “He’s running!” I shouted, looking around to see him on the far side of the house. I vaulted over the porch bannister and sprinted after him. “Russel Steele! Stop! This is the FBI!”

I saw him lose his footing, and suddenly stopped. He was lying on the ground, gun trained on my head.

“Put the gun down and stand up slowly.” I ordered, “They’re rescuing the kids now, you can’t hide anything.”

I didn’t even know if he was the actual unsub, but I had no idea what else to say. Plus, he was looking pretty guilty to me.

“You think this is about the kids?” He spat, “They’re nothing, worthless, a bother to their parents, that’s why I took them. Pathetic little idiots.”

“They’re just kids, Russel,” I answered, “You didn’t have to hurt them, and you don’t have to hurt me. Just put the gun down and get up. No one else has to get hurt.”

“Dumb bitch,” he muttered, “I’m not coming with you.”

I watched his eyes flash and I pulled the trigger, but it was a second too late. I felt a flash of pain and fell to the ground. I tried to slow my breathing, knowing shock was dangerous right now. I groaned as I tried to sit up, pulling myself over to him. My shot had gone right through his head. I heard footsteps, and saw Emily run up to me.

“Shit, he got you in the gut,” she muttered, ripping my shirt open. “Lay down, I need to put pressure on this.” Then, yelling, “Ambulance! I’ve got an agent that’s been shot! I need a medic!”

“The kids,” I groaned, “Are they okay?”

“Shh, hey, don’t strain yourself,” she said, pushing against the gunshot, “Yeah, we found them all, he had them in cages in the basement. They’re shaken up but they’re going to be okay.”

I nodded, “Good. That’s good.”

“Medic!” she screamed again.

“Em, I need you to do something.” I said, “Tell Spence…”

“Hey, whatever it is, you’ll be able to tell him yourself,” she said, “You’re going to be okay I don’t need to tell him anything.”

“Emily,” I said, a little louder, “If anything happens, tell him I love him.”

I saw lights approaching and heard voices, now blurring.

“Ma’am? You’re okay, we’ve got an ambulance, you’re going to be okay.” I heard, then everything seemed to fade to black.

***

I saw the fluorescents flash by above me, and I groaned in pain.

I heard shouting around me, held up my hands, and they were covered in blood.

The lights, flashing by again.

I thought I felt a needle, but I wasn’t sure.

Everything felt too warm and too cold at the same time. It was all wrong.

Someone was calling my name, but they sounded a million miles away.

I can’t feel my body. Why can’t I feel my body?

Nope, I don’t want to feel my body. Too much pain.

***

Beeping. A twinge in my arm and slow, steady beeping. Everything hurt. Even opening my eyes felt like a chore. I groaned.

“She’s awake,” someone said, and I finally managed to open my eyes.

Spencer was standing over me, looking worried, but I just smiled. “Hey.”

“You had me really scared there for a couple hours, (Y/N)…” he answered.

“Sorry, apparently unsubs don’t always like going down easy.” I responded, “Fuck, everything hurts way too much.”

I heard footsteps, and Emily, JJ, and Morgan were there too.

Emily spoke first. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve been there when you confronted him.”

I shook my head, “You were saving the kids. I’m okay. You did the right thing.”

“Hotch could’ve done that,” she answered, “You went after him alone.”

“That was my choice, and I stand by it.” I said firmly. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“Hotch and Rossi are finishing up with the kids and making sure all the paperwork’s done, but it was a clean shot.” JJ filled me in, “Everything should be clear by the time we get back to Quantico.”

“That was a dumb move, agent,” Morgan said, winking at me.

“Says Mr. I Kick Down Every Door I Can,” I answered, “Don’t talk to me about dumb moves.”

He laughed, and I smiled, looking up at Reid, who was clearly still feeling bad.

“Can Spencer and I have a minute?” I asked.

Everyone nodded, quickly filing out, and Emily closed the door.

“Spence,” I began, but he broke down crying.

“I should’ve been there, I should’ve known he was going to run,” he said between sobs, “I didn’t protect you, it’s all my fault.”

“Spencer.” I said firmly. “I am an adult capable of making my own decisions. I saw him run and I decided to go after him.”

“But-“

“But nothing. I killed him and he only hurt me. Give me a couple days and I’ll be fine.”

He nodded, but still seemed upset, “You’ve got a bullet lodged in you. The doctors said it was more dangerous, it’s near your spinal cord. Shouldn’t cause any issues, but…”

“So, I’ve got the coolest scar ever and I’ll piss off every airport security guard.” I shrugged, “I see that as a plus.”

He laughed, wiping away his tears, and I smiled.

“Spence, c’mere.” I said, reaching out.

He leaned in close and I kissed him, wanting the feeling of his lips to black out any pain. We broke apart for a second, then kissed again.

“Spencer Reid,” I began, and he looked at me, worried. “Spencer Reid, I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too, you stubborn idiot.” He laughed, kissing me again.

The door opened and we broke apart to see a nurse.

“I can- I can come back later, I didn’t want to intrude.” He stumbled.

Spencer straightened up, smoothing out his vest, “No need. You have a job to do. I’ll come back in when you’re done.”

He gave a little wave, but my arms hurt too much to give a wave back, but I’m sure he knew I wanted to.

***

We had to wait an extra day before I was discharged from the hospital, and Spencer insisted on keeping me in a wheelchair, despite me protesting I was able to walk just fine.

“The doctor said you should wait until the scar is mostly healed to avoid ripping it open.” He reminded me as he rolled me out, “And the doctor also said you’re adorable when you’re helpless.”

“Which doctor said that?” I asked.

“This one did.” He pointed to himself, then bent down to kiss me.

My revenge came when I had go to up the stairs to get on the plane, and we both knew he wasn’t strong enough to carry me all the way up. Each step was torturous, but there was no way I was admitting that to him.

I was laid out on the couch the entire plane ride home, with him cooing over me the entire time (which I secretly loved, but I’d never admit). The one time I made a comment about his ass still being red, he responded, “Doctor’s orders are to shut up.” I winked, but he didn’t dignify that with a response. He also insisted on driving me home (which I couldn’t fight, since I couldn’t drive myself), and wheeled me inside. When I got to my bedroom, he picked me up carefully and laid me down in bed, then began helping me change my clothes. When I was ready, he turned as if to leave.

“Spencer?” I asked, and he turned. “Can you stay here tonight?”

He smiled and nodded, “I’ll just get my go bag from the car, I have pajamas and a change of clothes.”

I nodded, trying to get comfortable, but part of me knew I wouldn’t end up sleeping well. He walked back in, stripping off his clothes and pulling on the shirt I’d loaned him after our first night together.

“It’s a reminder of you,” he said when I smiled, climbing into bed next to me.

I settled my head on his chest, and tried to fall asleep, but an hour and a half later when I still couldn’t, I looked up at him. He looked exhausted but refused to fall asleep before I did.

“Spence, can you read to me?” I asked. I’d normally be shy about asking, but whatever.

He nodded, “What book?”

I looked up at him, “I don’t know why but I really like Edgar Allen Poe poems… My mum used to read them to help me sleep at night.”

He nodded, then began reciting ‘Annabel Lee’. I snuggled into him, falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the deep reverberations of his voice.

“I love you,” I whispered as I fell asleep.

“I love you too,” he answered, then kept reciting.

_I am in love with Spencer Reid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about writing an extended version about this case... thoughts?


	15. Not Your Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Lots and lots of angst.  
> Spencer keeps babying you about your injury, and you finally snap.

A week later, I was moving around and could get dressed by myself. Reid had stayed with me for a few days but had been called away on a case. Hotch let me work remotely but wanted Spencer there. I was able to work in my pajamas, and had an alarm set for changing my bandages. Part of me wanted to go back to work as soon as possible, but every time I brought it up, Spencer reminded me that there wasn’t much I could do there while they were still out on the case anyway, and walking too much made me out of breath, so he was probably right.

Jenna swung by every so often, bringing me snacks or just checking up, clearly feeling a little guilty for making Spencer’s ass bright red immediately before a case, but I reassured her it wasn’t his fault (and we had laughed about it since).

After closing the case, Spencer decided to drive directly home to me, instead of stopping at the office first. I ordered take out that arrived right before him, spreading it out on the table at he arrived.

He walked in the door and I tried to rush over to him but groaned and ended up collapsing onto the couch.

“Hey, Spencer!” I said weakly.

“Dammit, (Y/N),” he muttered, rushing over to me.

I waved him off, “I’m okay, really, just moved a little fast.”

He pulled up my shirt, double checking the bandages, then sighing in relief when he saw I was okay.

“Seriously, I’m okay,” I said, leaning down to kiss him, “Relax, Spence.”

He kissed me back, “I love you.”

“Love you too.” I slowly got up and walked to the table, “Hungry?”

He nodded and helped me over to the table, eagerly digging into the food. It still hurt if I ate too much, but Spencer made sure I ate enough, rattling off statistics about calorie intake and healing.

When we finished, I stood up to clear the table, but Spencer practically shoved me back down. “You got dinner set up and you’re still healing. I can throw away a couple containers and put the leftovers in the fridge. Take a break.”

“I’m not a delicate princess, Spencer.” I reminded him, “I’ve had injuries before. I can handle myself.”

“I swear I will chain you to the bed and do all your housework for you if you keep refusing.” He threatened.

I laughed and winked at him, “You’d have to get me to sit still first.”

“You may not be a delicate princess, but I’m not weak.” He walked over, bending down to kiss me, and I saw the collar dangle down from underneath his shirt.

I grabbed it and pulled him close, “I’m sure you’re not.” He gasped and I smirked, kissing him on the cheek. “That’s what I thought.”

He flushed, biting his lip, and I released him. I stood up and began walking to the bedroom, pulling off my clothes and dropping them in the laundry basket, then went into the bathroom, slowly removing the bandages from my wound and hissing as some of the fibers of the gauze caught. I threw the old bandage away and prepped a new one, not taping it down as much so the wound could ‘breathe’ while I was asleep.

Spencer had given me an old sweater of his to wear, and I pulled it on, buttoning it. He’d been considerate enough to give me one I didn’t have to pull over my head, which made it much easier to wear, even if the pain was flaring. I walked back into the bedroom, seeing Spencer half-naked, changing. I leaned against the doorway, admiring the view.

“I missed that ass,” I teased.

He turned around suddenly, putting his hands in front of his penis as if to hide it.

“Spence, I’ve seen your dick before.” I laughed, “You don’t need to hide anything.”

“It’s habit from Morgan messing with me,” he muttered, dropping his hands.

I shrugged, “I don’t really care, it’s just amusing that you felt the need to hide.”

He pulled on his boxers as I climbed into bed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Just tired, and I missed you,” he shrugged, settling next to me, “I kept worrying about you, it was difficult to concentrate on the case.”

“I’m okay, really,” I kissed his neck, pulling him closer, “I promised you I’d tell you if anything was wrong, and I’m healing. You need to focus on your job.”

“I want to protect you from the world. I don’t want to put you in danger.” He pulled me into his chest.

“You can’t control whether I’m in danger,” I reminded him, “Our job is dangerous, and we both know that. I worried this entire time about you getting hurt, but I can’t control what you do.” I looked up, kissing him. “I could argue that I have more responsibility to protect you as your dom, but I know that I can’t always do that.”

He shrugged, “I guess. I just don’t like seeing you hurting.”

“And I don’t like seeing you worrying about me. You need to focus on your job and finding the unsubs, and I will take care of myself.”

He nodded, and I settled into his chest, “I’m just glad you’re back.”

“Me too,” he whispered, breathing slowed as we fell asleep together.

***

I refused to stay at home for the next case, and Hotch decided to let me, since we were driving to the case. Spencer refused to let anyone else drive me, despite mine and Hotch’s protests, and reminded me to sit any time I stood up for more than 30 minutes.

“Spencer.” I staid sternly after the fifth or sixth time. “I am fine. Stop it.”

He grumbled, sitting back, but didn’t say anything for the rest of the case. The unsub ended up coming in without serious issue, and he drove me directly home following the case closing.

We walked in, and I closed the door and turned to him. “Spencer. You need to cut it out.”

“What?”

“Stop treating me like I’m a fucking glass sculpture or something. I’m almost completely healed, and I need to be able to do my job without you telling me to sit down every couple minutes.” Maybe I was being harsh, but I was annoyed. “I understand you want me to be safe and careful, but I know what I can deal with.”

He sighed, “I understand that, but you also need to be careful, and you’re straining yourself. I don’t want you to hurt yourself again by accidentally ripping something or reopening the wound.”

“I will stop before I reopen the wound.” I answered, “But let me do my damn job. You’re not my mother.”

“No, but I’m your boyfriend, and I care about you. I saw Emily covered in your blood, (Y/N), I watched you bleed all over yourself and her.” He snapped back, “Do you know what that’s like?”

“Yes, actually, I do,” I answered, “I’ve been on the team for years, Spencer, don’t act like I’m a child. I have seen deaths and abuse and all the shit you have. I watched you become addicted to Dilaudid and I couldn’t do anything when I saw the marks on your arm and it killed me, Reid.”

His eyes darkened, “You don’t get to play that card.”

“Fucking watch me! You’re not the only one that’s seen shit, Spencer, don’t act like you have a monopoly on trauma.” I yelled, “I’m the one that got shot but you’re the one acting like a damn child. I’m not your baby, I’m my own person and I can take care of myself. You want to talk about wanting to take care of your friends? You didn’t show up for days after Maeve died and you wouldn’t answer your phone. How do you think that felt?” I knew I shouldn’t have said that as soon as it passed my lips, but it was too late.

He teared up, but his tone was angry, “Fuck you. I can’t believe you’d even say that.”

“Spence-“ I began, but he cut me off.

“No. You made yourself clear. I’ll see you on Monday.” He turned around, slamming the door behind him.

I stumbled back, covering my mouth. “Shit, what did I just do.” I had no idea how to repair anything I’d said. I knew I hadn’t said any of that to him, and I really hadn’t meant it, but I was tired of being babied, exhausted mentally and physically, and his actions were just the last straw.

I scrambled for my phone, eyes tearing up, barely managing to find a contact.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did you get home okay?” She asked.

“I yelled at Reid,” my voice was shaking, “I really messed up.”

“I’m on my way over.”

_Click._

I paced back and forth, waiting, not knowing what to do. I opened a cabinet, pulling out a glass and a bottle of wine, then put the glass back. I opened the bottle and took a swig before breaking down crying, sinking onto the floor.

My door opened and there was Emily, ice cream in hand. She immediately set it down when she saw me on the floor, kneeling next to me.

“Hey,” she said softly, “It’s okay. I’m here. Give me the bottle.”

I shook my head, taking another drink, tears streaming down my face.

“Talk to me, what did you say, what happened.”

“He was babying me on the entire case, stopping me from doing my damn job,” I grumbled, “He was mad at me because he thinks I’m stressing myself… I blew up. I told him he didn’t have a monopoly on trauma and invoked the shit with Maeve…” I groaned, “I fucked up bad, Em.”

She grabbed the ice cream and spoons, holding it out to me. “You’re going to need this.”

I took another swig of wine then grabbed a spoon. “Thank you.” I took a big spoonful and ate it slowly.

“What did he say to you?” she asked.

“He told me ‘You made yourself clear’ and he couldn’t believe I’d say that, then he just left…” I felt myself tearing up again.

“You need to give him time to calm down.” She reminded me, “You did get shot, he has a right to be worried about you. It’s not an easy thing to get over, and I’m sure invoking Maeve didn’t help.”

“Yeah,” I groaned, taking another spoon, following it with another drink of wine.

“You need to sleep.” She said, trying to help me out.

I shook my head, “No… I need to talk to Spence. He needs to know I didn’t mean it. I can’t sleep without him here, I hurt him.”

“Talking to him again tonight isn’t going to help. You both need time to cool off. I’m sure he feels bad as well, he knows you can take care of yourself and he just can be overprotective.” She held out the ice cream again.

I took another spoon, again following it with a swig of wine.

“You seriously need to just go to bed, you’ll be more rational in the morning.”

I shook my head, “I need to talk to Spence. Pass me my phone?”

She sighed, picking up both my phones and passing them to me.

“Let me guess, you’ve got his number on both?” She asked.

“Not anymore, I should probably take him off my private one.” I groaned, deleting his contact, then putting it down and taking up my other one.

**_Message to: Spencer_   
** **I know I messed up, and I don’t expect you to forgive me any time soon. Just tell me when I should drop off the stuff you left here.  
** **I’m sorry.**

I put it down and burst into tears again.

Emily pulled me into her arms, “Hey, it’s okay, let it out.”

I wanted Spencer there more than anything. I wanted his hands running through my hair, I wanted his heartbeat, I wanted to hear his voice deep in his chest. I wanted his lips on mine. I wanted to hold him close.

“I ruined it.” I sobbed, “I want him, I ruined everything.”

“You’re not going to do anything in this state.” She told me, “You can’t help yourself, and you certainly won’t be able to fix anything with Reid.”

“He needs to know I didn’t mean it. He needs to know I love him, I didn’t mean it, Emily, I really didn’t.” I tried to fight her but ended up just collapsing in tears again.

“I know, I know you didn’t. You’ll fix this, just give him some time.”

I grabbed the bottle and chugged several times. “Pass me the ice cream.”

***

I felt like shit in the morning. And I deserved it.

Every time I replayed the night before in my mind, I got mad at myself. He was just trying to take care of me, and I ruined it all.

_How could I have yelled at him about Maeve? How could I have done that to him?_

He was treating you like a child. You’re an adult, for fuck’s sake.

_But he’s just caring for you. It’s no different than aftercare._

It’s absolutely different from aftercare! That’s sex and consensual, I got shot.

_You’ve bruised his ass and tied him up, and you care for him after. He’s just trying to help._

I’m an FBI agent. I can take care of myself.

_And he’s your boyfriend. He wants to take care of you._

“Shut up,” I muttered to myself. “It’s too late to change what happened.”

I went to get dressed, saw Spencer’s shirt on the floor, and almost started crying again.

“Pull it together, Agent.” I ordered.

I pulled on my clothes (avoiding even looking at anything I’d worn with Spencer), walked to the kitchen, pretended the coffee pot didn’t make me extremely emotional, and tried to function.

My phone buzzed, and part of me prayed it was Spencer, while the other part didn’t want to ever talk to him again.

**_Incoming Call From: Emily Prentiss_ **

I picked up the phone.

“How’s your head?” She greeted me.

I groaned, “I’m trying to ignore it. Thank you for coming over, by the way.”

“Happy to. Are you going to talk to Spencer today?” She asked, never one to be indirect.

“I have no idea. I feel awful for what I said, and…”

“And if you don’t talk about it, nothing is ever going to happen.” She reminded me. “Just try, okay?”

“Sure, Em.” I said, hanging up before she could say anything else.

**_Message from: JJ_   
** **What the hell did you say to Spence?**

“Goddamn it,” I muttered, then called her.

It rang a couple times, then she answered, “If you ever hurt Spencer like that again I swear I will hide your body so well our own department won’t be able to figure out where I put you.”

“Good morning to you too, JJ,” I said. “I’m guessing Reid called you last night?”

“Yes, in fact, he did. He wanted to talk to his girlfriend, but it seems you decided to be a piece of… You’re lucky Henry’s in the other room. Now what. Did. You. Do.” She demanded.

“He was treating me like a child! I gave him a piece of my mind and I said some things I shouldn’t have, and I messed up and I don’t need you making me feel worse, Jennifer.” I snapped.

“He was trying to protect you.”

I laughed, “I can protect myself! I’m an agent, same as him, and I made a decision, knowing I was in danger. We’re always in danger. That doesn’t mean he gets to baby me. I’m an adult, for fuck’s sake.”

“And he’s your boyfriend!” She retorted. “He cares about you and yes he was being overbearing and the last real girlfriend he had got shot in the head, so yeah he’s a little protective. Great job bringing up Maeve by the way, good thing you put the final nail in the coffin.”

“Screw you, JJ. You don’t get to do this to me.” I hung up.

She was right. Emily was right. This was my fault, I fucked up, and I had no idea how to fix it.

“Damn everything.” I muttered.

**_Message to: Spencer_   
** **I’m sorry.  
** **Please don’t hate me.  
** **Coffee?**

**_Message from: Spencer_   
** **Fine.**


	16. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi have some angst.  
> Spencer disappears.

I pulled on a decent shirt and jeans, flats, and pulled my hair back. I grabbed both my phones, tucked them in my purse, and got ready to go.

I turned around and grabbed the box.

The drive was excruciating. Spencer had texted me the location- a small coffee shop a short walk away from his apartment, and I was determined to try and make things right, but I also knew I had to be prepared for the inevitable.

I walked in, ordered, and waited; eyes trained on the door.

“Large black coffee with extra sugar for Spencer?” The barista called, and I turned.

There he was, eyes red and puffy, body hidden in a too-large sweater. He took the coffee, nodded at me, and sat down at a table close to the back. When the barista called my name, I grabbed my drink and rushed over to him, but I had no idea what to say.

“Reid,” I began, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything I did and… I regret all of it. I’m sorry.”

He reached one hand into a pocket, pulled out the collar, and slid it across the table to me. I just stared.

“Take it.” He said, voice scratchy, no doubt from crying. “I know what it means. Take it.”

My throat tightened, “Spence…”

“You had no right.” He said. “No right to say anything that you did. I was trying to take care of you, and you,” his voice cracked, “You cared more about being an adult than you did how I felt.”

“That’s not it at all, Spencer, that’s not fair.” I countered, “I’m not used to people just… wanting to take care of me. They always want something. It’s never casual affection, and I got scared.”

“Really? Because you seemed plenty confident to me.”

I sighed, “I deserve that. And I deserve a lot worse than that.”

“Yes, you do. Take the collar and get out. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Spencer…” I started.

“Out.” His voice left no room for debate.

I left.

***

I tried to call out of work on Monday, but Hotch wouldn’t let me. Instead, he called me directly to his office when I arrived.

“I want to hear your side of what happened. I’ve heard secondhand from JJ and Emily, and Reid’s account, but I want to hear what you think happened.” He said as soon as I closed the door.

“There’s no other way to put it, Sir, I was an asshole to Reid. I can try and explain why, but that’s what happened at the core. I got defensive and pissed and lashed out at him and he, and the rest of the team, have every right to hate me right now.” I answered. None of that was a lie.

Hotch sighed, “I didn’t ask for your opinion or your feelings, Agent. I asked for what happened.”

I took a deep breath. “Spencer got back from the case and I felt like he was babying me, and then we went on the next case and he kept telling me to sit down or stop straining myself and I felt like I was being limited from performing effectively as a member of this team and an asset to the local police department. We drove to my house together and I got mad at him for treating me like a child. He responded that he was worried, that after seeing me bleed all over Emily he wanted to protect me.” I took another breath. “I’m not proud of this but… I told him he didn’t have a monopoly on trauma. I told him he didn’t get to say he wanted to take care of his friends since he didn’t show up for days after Maeve died, and I told him that I had gone through pain when he was addicted to Dilaudid, and… I was generally just an ass about the entire thing.” I sat down on his couch, holding my head in his hands, “What have I done…”

“If I’m honest, you’ve created a rift in the team so serious I’m concerned about our ability to function. I’m removing you and Reid from the team until further notice, you’ll be put on paid administrative leave.” He answered, “I’ll work it out later from there when we get back.”

I nodded, picked up my bag, and went to leave.

“Agent,” Hotch said, and I turned. “He really does love you.”

“I’m not sure I can believe that anymore, Aaron.” I answered.

“As your friend I am telling you he still loves you. Now go home and work this out. Dismissed.”

I nodded and left, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the bullpen, not wanting to face what I’d done.

***

I banged my head against the table, crumpling up another piece of paper and throwing it to the side. I needed to think of something to say, something to make this all better, but all I really wanted to do was hug him, and I’m not sure he’d even touch me anymore. And I couldn’t blame him.

“Dear Spencer,” I said, deciding writing was dumb, “Hi. It’s your local idiot. I never wanted to do any of this to you, and I feel like shit for everything I did. You scared me because you care about me and honestly, I’m just scared of affection and you are the fucking definition of perfection and that scares me.

“I wish I could take everything back and redo that entire conversation. I wish I could make past me understand that you really were just trying to make sure I was okay. You’ve been through shit and I didn’t respect that, and I am truly, deeply sorry. I should’ve never used that against you.

“If you ever want to talk to me again as a friend, I’d like that, but if you only want to be coworkers, I’ll understand. And if you want me to transfer out of the BAU, I’ll do that too.”

I sighed, collapsing back on my couch, tears welling up again.

There was a loud banging on my door, and I shot up. I opened the door to find the entire BAU team, minus Spencer of course, outside my door.

“Yeah?” I asked.

They all looked at one another, then Emily spoke up. “Spencer’s gone.”

Why does the universe hate me?

***

“I saw him Saturday, we met at the coffee shop near his apartment, he’d obviously been crying but otherwise seemed fine,” I recounted, pacing back and forth. “I haven’t contacted him since, I didn’t see him in the office this morning. Wait, when did he talk to Hotch?”

“After he talked to you, he came over to my house. That’s when we discussed what I talked about with you.” Hotch answered, “I haven’t seen him since either.”

“Should I call him?” I asked, terrified at the very thought. The team nodded, and I sighed, taking out my phone, then having a thought, “Which number?”

Everyone except Garcia looked confused. “Try work first, but it’s a good idea to try both.”

I nodded, pulling up his number, taking a breath, and calling. Straight to voicemail, not even ringing first.

“Fuck,” I muttered, then pulled out his other phone. It rang a couple times, then Spencer’s voice.

“Hey, this is Spencer, please leave your name and a message. I’m probably on a case, so I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!”

I hung up, then had a thought.

“Jenna.” Everyone looked at me, but I didn’t know how to explain. “Friend of mine. I’ll be right back.”

JJ followed me back to my bedroom, where I dialed Jenna. It rang twice, then she picked up.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asked.

“Have you seen Spencer?” I asked.

“Not since the party, why?”

I took a deep breath, “He’s missing. I said some shit and no one has seen him since Saturday and I’m really worried…”

I heard voices in the background.

“Are you at something?” I asked.

“Nothing that I can’t leave if you need me to.” She dismissed, “Anything I can do to help?”

“Check with anyone that was talking with you and him the other night, anyone that was around when you were talking. I’m calling Amanda. Let me know if you get anything.”

“Got it.” She affirmed. “I’ll get back to you ASAP.”

She hung up, and JJ looked up at me.

“She hasn’t heard from him, but she’s going to check with people who maybe could have. It’s a long shot, but it’s something.” There really wasn’t any other way to explain it. “I’m going to check with someone else.”

I dialed Amanda, and she picked up almost immediately.

“A midweek call from you? What’s your craving?”

“It’s Spencer,” I said, throat tightening again, “We can’t find him, I really messed up, Amanda, it’s bad. He’s got a history and… I don’t know what to do. Have you heard anything?”

“Not a word, sweetie, have you asked Jenna?” she suggested, “I didn’t see many people talking to him before you two went upstairs, so I’m not sure who else to ask.”

“Already called, she’s checking with anyone he may have interacted with.”

“I’ll ask around, but I doubt it, especially since he’s new. Keep me updated.”

“I will,” I promised, then hung up.

“Another dead end?” JJ asked, “How many friends do you two have that we don’t know about?”

“JJ, now is really not the time.” I said, pacing the room. “His dealer?”

She shook her head, “Already checked, either he’s got someone different or he’s got a stash or something, he’s heard nothing.”

“What did you find at his apartment?” I asked.

“Nothing. Spotless, even the book stacks were straightened, it was eerie.”

“What about the coffee?” I asked.

“What?”

I sighed, “The coffee. He hates leaving part of a pot, was there any coffee left?”

“I didn’t look in the kitchen. Ask Morgan or Hotch.”

I rushed back to the living room. “Was there coffee in the pot?”

“What?” Morgan asked.

“Just answer the damn question. Was there coffee in the pot?” I snapped. “Any, even a drop.”

He closed his eyes and thought. “Yeah, like half a pot. Lukewarm?”

“Shit.” I muttered. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“What?” Asked Hotch.

“He’d never leave coffee. Either he’s coming back, or he’s been kidnapped.”

“I’m driving you there now.” Hotch said, springing to his feet, “JJ, stay with me. Garcia, Emily, you stay here. Rossi, Morgan, I want you at the office, check surveillance video.”

We all rushed out. I practically threw myself into the passenger seat and Hotch drove like a madman to his house. Before he’d even stopped moving, I was running up the stairs, banging on Spencer’s door.

“Spencer, please, open up!” I yelled. When there was nothing, I opened the door.

JJ was right, it was too perfect. Spencer had notes and posters and theories and half-full notebooks and cardigans scattered all around, but there was none of that. Posters hung straight on the wall, all the books were on the shelves or in neat stacks, closed. I ran to the kitchen. Morgan was right, a half-full pot of coffee stood in the maker. I put my hand against it: not yet cool. I looked at the table, and there was sugar scattered across it.

“He was interrupted,” I said, “Someone or something disturbed him. He’d have cleaned up the sugar.”

Hotch dialed Garcia, “Anything on his phone GPS?”

“They’re with you, Sir, they haven’t left the house since Saturday afternoon. I’m checking his phone records now… last call was an incoming call from-“ she stopped.

“Garcia, who was it?” I asked.

“You.”

JJ and Hotch looked at me. “What? That can’t be right, look at my phone records, I didn’t call him before today, I texted him Saturday but never called. Check it, Garcia.”

We heard typing in the background, then, “The lady speaks the truth. No outgoing calls from either cell phone, and the one I’m seeing Saturday was your work to his work.”

“A cloning device?”

“Most likely.” She confirmed, “But who would know that you’d be the person to use? Why not any of us?”

“More importantly, why my work number? If they knew about us, why not use my other number?” I asked, “This isn’t lining up.”

“Garcia, ping his phones so we can find them.” JJ suggested.

“On it.”

Immediately, we heard two shrill noises, and I ran to follow them. They lead to the bedroom, in a drawer…

Where an exact copy of the collar I’d gotten for Spencer sat, with both phones next to it, and a typed message.

_Kiwi._

I sighed, stepping away as JJ and Hotch looked. “What’s the necklace? And what does kiwi mean?”

“The necklace is something I got for Spencer early on in our relationship and kiwi… it’s sort of a code.” I hesitated, “It means _stop_ , like ‘I’m uncomfortable, stop the conversation’ or ‘stop whatever you’re doing’ kind of thing. An immediate out.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything.

“He’s never used it before, but it’s always something either of us can use.” I shrugged, “But I’ve used that before. Other people who know me would know that word and what it meant.”

“This Jenna friend of yours is sounding more and more like a possibility.” JJ said.

I shook my head, “No way. She wouldn’t do this to me.”

“We can’t rule out anyone, you know that,” Hotch countered, “Do you have her address?”

“I know where she works.” I groaned. “Camelot Showbar, in DC.”

“Isn’t that a strip club?” JJ asked.

I shot her a look, “Yes, it is. Now are you here to judge my friends or save Spencer?”

“Let’s go.” Hotch said, and we both nodded.

Before we did, I pulled out a bag and put in the note, collar, and Spencer’s phones. Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I sorry?  
> A little bit.  
> Maybe.  
> Whoops.


	17. Reunions

We pulled up and ran to the door, where a burly bouncer stopped us. “Sorry, we’re not open yet.”

I pulled out my badge, “FBI.”

His eyes grew wide, “There’s nothing going on here, ma’am, we’ve got all our permits and all.”

“We have a missing person that one of your performers may be connected to.” I answered, “I frankly couldn’t give fewer shits about your permits. Now take me to Jenna.”

“I don’t know who that is, ma’am. We don’t use names, even I don’t know them.” He shrugged.

I sighed and told him her performance name. He nodded and led us into the dressing room, where I immediately spotted Jenna.

“What the hell is this about?” She asked.

“You’re about five seconds away from being arrested unless you tell me everything you know, right now. Now, you’re one of only a couple people here who knows my safe words, and you’re one of two who I know have seen the present I gave Spence and knows what it means, so I’m putting two and two together.” I held up the evidence bag and her eyes grew wide with understanding. “Now you tell me where Spencer Reid is or I will destroy your career and your place in the community so thoroughly you will never find another partner again, got it?”

Both JJ and Hotch looked surprised, but I kept my eyes trained on Jenna.

“I saw him earlier today.” She sighed, “He came by right when I arrived and asked if I’d talked to you. I said now and he just left.”

“Describe how he looked.” JJ stepped in. “Bloodshot eyes, marks on his arms, anything. What was he wearing?”

“Shirt, sweater, and slacks. No marks on his arm, but he looked like he was either high off his ass or hadn’t stopped crying for a while. Based on how well he talked, I’d say crying.” She answered, “I don’t know which direction he left in, you might be able to check the exterior security cameras though.”

JJ and Hotch nodded, exiting the dressing room. Jenna turned back to me.

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?” she asked, “You’d do anything for this boy.”

I nodded, “I would give up the world for him.”

“Good luck. I’ll tell you if anything happens.”

I rushed out after Hotch and JJ, and they were already walking out of the building.

“We’ve got a partial plate on a taxi he took from right outside, and the company name.” JJ told me, “Garcia’s finding it now.”

I nodded.

_Please don’t let us be too late. Please._

“Two cabs with the plates, same company.” Garcia’s voice echoed from Hotch’s phone. “Both of the drivers were working this morning. I’m getting you their info now. And… it’s on your phones.”

JJ and I were immediately calling them.

Mine went nowhere, he hadn’t been in the area this morning, but JJ’s eyes lit up.

“He was in the area and remembers someone fitting Spencer’s description. He’s on his way here now.”

_Please don’t let us be too late. Please._

The taxi driver arrived but ended up being a bad lead. All he could remember was dropping Spencer off at a corner, it seemed like he’d chosen it at random.

“I want to go back to his apartment.” I muttered, “There has to be something.”

Hotch nodded and dropped me and JJ off. I went to his bedroom, desperate to pretend he was close.

“Spencer,” I whispered, “If you can hear me, please be alive. Please, I’m so sorry, just… I need you Spencer, please.”

JJ called my name, and I shot up. She looked confused, “He just showed up at your house.”

_At least he’s alive._

***

He was shaking, voice trembling. “I… I didn’t know where I was going.”

“Shh, it’s okay Spencer,” JJ said.

I kept my distance.

“I messed up on Saturday, after seeing Hotch, I found my old stash,” he sobbed, “I tried but it was all too much.”

_This is your fault._

“I just… shot up yesterday, I cleaned everything, I needed something to be right. Needed to be able to fix something.” He said, and his tone broke my heart. “I woke up this morning and… I had no idea what I had done, I took so much I can’t remember anything after that but I was worried so I went to Jenna’s but she hadn’t heard anything so I tried to go to a meeting but… my head was all fuzzy and I forgot where they were. I just started walking and I ended up here.”

_This is what happens when you let people get close to you. You break them._

“I’m so sorry,” he broke down sobbing again.

“The details don’t make sense,” Emily muttered to Hotch, “The phone call, the stuff at his house…”

I glanced at Garcia, who was looking exceedingly guilty. “Garcia?”

“I programmed his other phone to… well, you see, he wanted to be able to hide his number and I thought it would be safer if I just gave him the ability to change his number so I… maybe gave him that feature? And it’s possible he cloned an existing number.” She looked down, “I didn’t think it could do that, he must have messed with the code or something.”

“And the, uh, necklace and note were him tying up loose ends.” I groaned, leaning my head against the wall, “I feel like an idiot.”

JJ was consoling Spencer, who was fully in tears at this point, but I still couldn’t bear to look at him.

“Care to elaborate?” Rossi asked.

“It’s… kind of like a promise ring. The necklace, that is. I gave it to him… he didn’t know what it meant to me at the time, but I think he figured it out. And the note was his way of apologizing. He’s stopping the usage again, trying to recover.” I mentally kicked myself, “And I didn’t understand any of it.”

“I still don’t quite understand the necklace…” Started Morgan.

“Please don’t.” I cut him off. “I don’t want to go into it.”

I walked to my room, closed the door, and let out a wordless scream.

_Your fault. Your fault. Your fault._

“Stop,” I groaned, closing my eyes as if that would help, “Stop.” But it only got louder, like a pulse.

_Your fault. Your fault. Your fault._

“(Y/N?)” That sounded like Spencer, but there was no way, “Can we talk?”

I opened my eyes and saw him standing at the bathroom entrance, pulling his sleeves down nervously.

“Spence,” I whispered.

“Hey.” He tried to smile, but I tackled him into a hug.

“I thought you were dead, asshole,” I muttered into his shoulder.

“I’m here.” He pulled me away to look at me, “It took a while, and I really messed up, but I’m here.”

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered, “I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for what I said to you.”

“You were angry at me, you’re only human. And I’m not perfect either. I relapsed, bad, and…” He pulled me close again, “I need you.”

His arms felt like home.

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you too.” He answered immediately, “But we clearly both have some stuff to work through if we’re going to make all of this work.”

I nodded, “I’ll look into therapists. I’m really sorry, Spencer.”

“Don’t apologize for having issues. If we all had to do that, I’d be here all day.” That was only half-joking, but I could see the smile behind his eyes.

I hugged him again, “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

_He’s safe. That’s all that matters._


	18. Reparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer make up.  
> And make out.

We couldn’t get back to normal, not any time fast at least. But we started trying to heal. We went on dates, just trying to take our time repairing our friendship. We were civil on cases, careful not to push any boundaries, and only texted on our work phones. On weekends, we met for meals or walks in the park, just trying to feel number.

Eventually, we ended up at each other’s homes more often, whether playing games and watching a movie. Things started to feel normal again.

One Saturday night, we ended up cuddling on the couch as a Disney movie played, Spencer holding me against his chest. I’d normally turn it off at this point, but Spencer insisted on watching to the very end, and I didn’t mind having an excuse to cuddle him for longer.

“I miss you.” He said out of nowhere.

I looked up at him, “Really?”

He nodded, “I miss this, I miss your body and your lips and your eyes and hearing you talk. I want to be with you again.”

“Can I kiss you?” I asked.

“Please.”

I moved up and kissed him. I wrapped one hand around his neck and pulled him close.

“Spencer,” I gasped, pulling away. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He pulled me up to him again.

We broke apart again and I pulled him close, never wanting to let go.

“Can I sleep over tonight?” He asked.

“Please do.” I stood up, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom.

We sat on the bed, and I kissed him again, straddling his lap. He grabbed my hips, pulling me close, and I ran my hand through his hair, pulling his head back and kissing his neck, pulling his shirt up at the same time. We broke apart for a second so I could pull it off, and I pushed him back.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “I want you.” He was pawing at my shirt.

I sat up, pulling it off, and he reached around me to unclip my bra. I kissed him harder, but he surprised me, picking me up by my hips and flipping us so I was on my back with him on top of me.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” he muttered, kissing down my chest, biting and sucking lightly. “So beautiful.”

“Spence,” I groaned, “Just take my damn pants off.”

I had barely masturbated since we broke up. All my fantasies were full of him, and all I wanted was his body. His hands worked quickly at my waistband, and I thanked past me for not putting on a belt or anything with buttons. He pulled my pants down and I kicked them off, already reaching down to work on his, but he was faster, moving back up to kiss me as he pulled off his pants.

“You’re so amazing,” He whispered, grinding down on me, “You’re perfect.”

“That’s you,” I answered, biting his neck and marking it. “I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you too,” he answered, pushing one hand between us to play with my clit, making me push up into his hand.

His fingers moved quickly as I moaned, biting his shoulder. When I pulled away, he kissed me roughly, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I gasped and pushed up against him, loving the feeling of him above me. When he pulled away, I was already close my orgasm and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling me close.

“Spence, I’m going to cum.” I groaned into his ear.

“Cum on my hand, do it,” he answered, kissing me again.

I moaned and thrust up into his hand, moaning into his mouth. He slowed down for a second, then pulled his hand away and looked at me, licking off his fingers.

“Fuck, Spencer,” I muttered, “You’re so fucking hot.”

“You must be looking in a mirror,” he teased, kissing me. “Can I… Can I fuck you?”

I smiled at him. Even when we were so passionate, he was still careful to ask.

“Please do.”

He rubbed against me and I groaned, pushing up against him.

“Don’t want to hurt you,” he muttered.

I grabbed his hair and looked him in the eyes, “Spencer, just fuck me.”

He moved his hips back and lined up, pushing into me slowly. I gasped, arching up against him, digging my nails into his back. He leaned down to kiss me and began moving in and out of me, snapping his hips forward with every thrust. I moaned and clenched around him, angling my hips to let him push deeper.

“How flexible are you?” He asked, kissing behind my ear.

“Why don’t you find out?” I answered, moving one leg up a little.

He took the hint and brought it up over his shoulder, pushing even deeper. We both moaned as he moved faster, and I smiled at him.

“Spence, I’m about to cum again,” I muttered, digging my nails into his back.

“Do it,” he answered, “Cum all over my cock.”

Surprised at his dirty mouth, I did, moaning loudly and thrusting up against him. He slowed down for a second but, encouraged by my moaning, sped up even more, gripping my hips and pulling them up.

“I’m getting close,” he said, “Fuck, you’re so fucking hot, I want to cum in you.”

“Spencer, do it, cum in me.”

“Want you to cum with me,” he muttered, moving down to kiss me, one hand moving down to play with my clit again.

This man was a sex angel, I swear. He had me on the edge faster than I could ever remember between orgasms.

“Spencer, I’m so close,” I whispered, breathing quickly, “Fuck, make me cum with you.”

He leaned down, lips hovering an inch from mine. “Cum.”

He kissed me as he thrust deep in me, fingers speeding up, and I came as he pumped deep into me. I could feel him spurt inside me, and I moaned at the feeling. When his breathing slowed, he moved my leg off his shoulder, not breaking our kiss.

I pulled away, still breathing quickly. “Holy shit, Spence.”

“That was amazing.” He kissed my cheek and rolled off of me, chest heaving.

“I missed you so much.” I said, “And I promise I’m not saying that just because we fucked.”

“Just a bonus?” He looked at me, eyebrows raised.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, we can call it that. But I think we’re past the friends with benefits stage. Um… again?”

“Better make it official.” He smiled, sitting up. “Agent (Y/N), will you be my girlfriend?”

“If you call me agent in bed you’re sleeping on the couch.” I threatened, “But yes _Doctor_ Reid, I will be your girlfriend.”

His smile lit up the entire room and I couldn’t help but sit up to kiss him again.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I whispered, “I shouldn’t have said anything I did.”

He looked at me, “I wasn’t paying attention to what you wanted, I was thinking about protecting you, but you were trying to heal your own way.”

“I had no right to mention the drugs or Maeve,” I answered.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” he said. “But you were angry, and I was being obtuse.”

“I’m still sorry.” I said.

“I accept your apology, and I’m trying to heal, and you’re helping me.” He answered, “But… can we implement something?”

“Of course, anything.” I answered.

“Can we not keep safe words to scenes only? Like, if I’m ever uncomfortable in any situation, can I use it as an out?” He looked down, fiddling with his hands.

I nodded, “Of course, that’s a good idea. You can use them whenever you need. And I’ll work on doing the same.”

“Okay.” He kissed me, “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Spencer,” I kissed him back.

“One more thing?” he asked.

I raised my eyebrows, “Yeah?”

“Can you hold me as I fall asleep?”

“For as long as you want, sweetheart.”

***

I woke up slowly, stretching, but I couldn’t move my arms.

My eyes shot open, looking around. My arms were bound above my head and my legs to the bottom bedposts, and I was completely naked.

Spencer stood at the foot of the bed, looking at me.

“Spence?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

“Are you okay with this?” he asked.

I took a breath, taking in the scene around me. My arms and legs were bound with bondage rope, and there were toys set out on the bed. Spencer was wearing slacks and a plain white shirt, hands clasped behind his back, looking down at me. Right. We’d talked about this. Spencer taking control. And I did enjoy waking up to him.

I nodded. “Green.”

“Good.” He walked forward, taking a blindfold off the bed and slipping it over my eyes.

“Is there anything you don’t want me to do outside what’s on your list?”

“No.” I answered, “Everything else is okay.”

“You will address me as Sir.” He corrected.

_Fuck, that voice was hot._

“Yes, Sir.”

“Much better.” His voice wasn’t the shy, nervous boy I was used to, or the nerd who’d rattle off facts for hours. This was different, a commanding tone that left no room for argument.

I could hear him walking around, but I couldn’t figure out where he was.

I felt something brush down my chest, and I couldn’t figure out what it was at first. A small, soft piece of something… It trailed down my torso and barely dipped between my legs before leaving. I whined. Then something came down on my breast, hard. I gasped, feeling the sting, and finally figuring out what Spencer was teasing me with. A riding crop.

Clearly, he’d developed a taste for it after the party.

I felt the leather trace down my skin again, dipping between my legs, leaving, and then another strike, this time on my other breast. He continued this pattern for what felt like eternity. My breasts were stinging, my pussy dripping, and he refused to touch it. Finally, I felt the end of the crop push further down between my legs and I groaned, grinding up into it. He pulled it away, and I whined.

Then I felt the crop down on my clit. Not as hard as on my breasts, but enough that I gasped at the sting.

“Color?” he asked.

“Oh, fuck, green.” I moaned.

He struck me again, and my hips bucked up. He sped up, striking me over and over, and I held my legs tense, waiting for the next one. He continued for what felt like forever, until I knew I was making a wet spot on the sheets.

Finally, he stopped, and I relaxed, enjoying the sting between my legs.

I heard him get onto the bed and felt the bed shift as he straddled me. “Open your mouth, slut.”

I immediately opened my mouth, letting my jaw go slack. I felt his tip teasing my lips and wanted to stick out my tongue and taste him, but I didn’t want to disobey. His hands combed through my hair, then gripped it hard and he pushed into my throat. I gasped and gagged around him, then started to focus on my breathing.

“Make a fist with both hands,” he instructed, “If either opens, I’ll stop.”

I immediately clenched my fist.

“Good.” He began pushing my head forward onto his cock, pulling me back and forth.

I took deep breaths in between thrusts, modulating my breathing as he fucked my throat.

“Fuck, you’re so good for me,” he groaned, “Taking my cock in your throat so well, letting me fuck that pretty little throat.”

_Where has this side of Spencer been this entire time?_

I groaned at his words, and he just responded by fucking my throat harder.

“Just like that, you little whore, letting me use your pretty little mouth, moaning around me.” His hand tightened in my hair and he began moving faster, now thrusting his hips in time with my movements.

“Knock on the headboard twice if I can cum on your face,” he groaned.

I knocked, and he pulled the blindfold off, pumping himself and moaning, and in my hair forcing me to look at him as his cum covered my face and neck. I stuck out my tongue to clean him off, and he moved forward to let me, letting go of my hair.

“Holy shit that was so fucking hot,” he muttered.

I hummed as I licked him off, “You’re telling me.”

“Do you want to cum?” He asked, moving away from me.

I shrugged, “Up to you, Sir.”

He hummed and moved to kiss me, “I think I’ll make you wait until later.” He reached up and began untying my arms.

“You should do that more often.” I muttered.

“Are you sure?” He looked down at me, “I didn’t know if that would be okay.”

“Spencer, I’m a switch and you’re insanely hot. That’s absolutely okay with me.” I rubbed my wrists as they were released and pulled him into a kiss, “I trust you, and you didn’t get anywhere close to any of my limits.”

He got off the bed and began untying my ankles.

“I know I’ve tied you up a few times and all, but how did you do all that without waking me up?”

He shrugged, “I’ve been practicing a little at home with my spare time. Figured it would come in useful with you if I ever managed to get back with you.”

“You’re amazing, you know that?” I said, moving to kiss him.

He kissed me back, “I still can’t cook though, so if you want a decent hot breakfast, I’ll have to get something.”

“I’ll make something,” I laughed as he released my other leg, “But you seriously need to be able to at least make pasta, Spence, you’re an adult.”

“Yeah but also… leftover meals, instant stuff, and body issues.”

“Spence,” I whispered, “Your body is perfect.”

“I’m working on believing you.” He looked at me, “I really am.”

I gave him a big kiss, “That’s good enough for now. But uh… where did you put my clothes?”

“Oh! Right!” He jumped up and grabbed them off my dresser, where they were neatly folded, “Sorry. Here you go.”

I pulled my clothes on, laughing at his exaggerated pouty face, and walked to the kitchen.

I could get used to this.

***

“So, you’re telling me you think you can beat me at Mario Kart just because you know physics?” I challenged.

“It’s more programming than physics, but yes.” Spencer retorted, “I think I could completely obliterate you, no matter what character or what car I have.”

“Oh, sweetie, you have no idea what you’re getting into.” I jumped up, searching through my bookshelves until I found the game, putting it into my console and waiting for it to load.

Spencer downed the rest of his coffee (how did he sleep after having coffee with dinner?) and jumped onto the couch, “Let’s do this.”

“You choose my character and car, I choose yours.” I handed a controller to him.

“I am giving you the best stats possible just to prove how good I am.” He answered, while I worked to make the worst car ever.

“I would love to say you play Rossi, he’s more of a gamer than the rest of us combined.” I laughed.

“Rossi prefers first person shooter, or FPS games.” He retorted, “I’d beat him.”

“Wow, pretty boy’s got an ego.” I teased, handing him the controller, “Let’s see how inflated it is.” I looked over the car he assigned to me, seeing the character and laughing. “Oh, I’m Princess Peach, I see how it is. Nice innuendo, Spence.”

He looked at me with the most fake-innocent eyes ever, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Okay, so what’s at stake here?” I asked, “You’re so confident we have to bet something.”

“Winner gets to tell the loser to do any one thing in front of the team as long as it isn’t completely inappropriate.” He answered immediately, “But innuendos or non-explicit things are okay.”

“Deal.” I offered my hand, and we shook on it.

Two Grand Prix’s later, I was floored by Spencer’s skill.

“How the hell are you this good? I swear you’re cheating.” I groaned.

“No cheating, just lots and lots of practice.” He smiled, “Are you admitting defeat?”

I flipped him the bird. “Fuck you. Yes, you won, asshole.”

He smiled and straddled me, “If you ask nicely.”

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close, “You’ll have to make me.”

His eyes flashed, “You have no idea how much I want to.”

“So, what do I have to do?” I asked, “What embarrassing thing am I doing in front of the team?”

He thought for a second, then a smile spread across his face. “Tie up your legs and send a picture to the group chat as if you’re sending it to me. Just your thighs and below in frame, but there should be some out-of-focus toys in the background.”

I groaned, “You’re kidding.”

He shook his head, hair flopping. “You have to do it.”

“That doesn’t count as explicit?” I questioned.

“Out of focus images can be misinterpreted and you might just be practicing, who knows. However, you do have to send a suggestive text as the caption.”

“I’m going to kill you.” I grumbled, standing up. “Would you like to choose the rope and set the scene, _Sir_?”

“In another situation I’d punish you for that.” He muttered.

I raised my eyebrows, “So why don’t you?”

“Because you have a bet to make good on.” He smiled at me and rushed to the bedroom.

“Un-fucking-believable.” I groaned, following him and grabbing my phone on the way.

I got to the bedroom to see some of my toys laid out on the floor, and he handed me a coil of bright red rope. I sighed, sat down, and began tying myself up. No use dragging it out.

“Hey,” he said, interrupting my concentration, “Color?”

“Green, I’m just going to kill you if I have to answer any questions tomorrow.” I looked up at him, “Seriously, I’m okay with this.”

When I finished tying, I pulled out my phone to make sure the toys wouldn’t be in focus. Of course, Spencer had laid it all out perfectly, and only my legs were in focus. I took the photo.

“What should the caption be?” I asked.

He held his hand out for the phone, and I sighed, handing it over.

**_Message to: BAU Fam_   
** **One attachment.**

**_Message to: BAU Fam_   
** **You may be picking up dinner, but I’ve made desert. ;)**

“You’re kidding me.” I groaned, turning off my phone completely.

He smiled, “Whoopsies.”

“So… do you want some dessert?” I asked.

His eyes darkened, and he bent down to kiss me, “Untie your legs and get on the bed. Now.”

“Yes, Sir.” I gasped, quickly working to untie my legs, scrambling to my feet, and rushing over to the bed.

He grabbed my hips and moved me onto my back, putting my legs on his shoulders and burying his face between my legs.

“FUCK!” I screamed as he began sucking on my clit while fingering me, with no warning. “Holy hell, just like that Sir, thank you.”

He hummed in approval and pulled my hips close to him as I moaned and squirmed against him. His mouth was heavenly, he knew exactly how to pleasure me and make me feel amazing, and I couldn’t stop the string of curses and other sounds coming out of my mouth as he worked.

“Fuck- Sir- ah, I’m going to cum, I’m so close, please,” I babbled, “Sir, please, fuck, let me cum, fuck, please, please, please!”

He moved away for a second, just long enough to say, “Cum.”

I was so loud I considered biting down on the sheets or my lip. “Ah- yes, Spencer, Sir, right there, please, thank you, so fucking good, thank you!”

He pushed another finger into me, and I moaned, clenching around him. He didn’t stop, not even after I came, continuing with the same intensity.

“Fuck, Sir, please,” I groaned, “So good, shit, I love your mouth, don’t stop, right there, please.”

I wasn’t used to being able to get to the edge this fast, but Spencer could tell me to do anything and I’d listen.

“Cum.”

I moaned, grinding against his face. I was gasping and moaning, barely able to catch my breath as he continued.

“You’re going to cum one more time for me,” he instructed, still pumping his fingers in and out of me. “You can cum when you want.”

“Yes, Sir!” I gasped, and he moved back down.

I would do anything to make sure he didn’t stop.

I focused on the feeling of Spencer’s mouth on my pussy, his fingers pumping into me, his occasional moans shaking me to my very core.

“Sir, ah- I’m so close again, please,” I moaned, “Don’t stop, I’m so close, please don’t stop, fuck, ah, yes, yes, yes, yes!” I gasped, breath catching in my throat as I came, muscles tensing up all at once, and Spencer didn’t stop until I was completely done.

When he finally pulled away, I couldn’t help but groan at the sight in front of me: Spencer, face covered in my cum, grinning.

“Spencer Reid, you are a fucking angel,” I panted, “Holy shit.”

He hummed and kissed me, pulling me close. “I like hearing you moan Sir for me.”

“I’ll do that as much as you want,” I smiled, kissing him.

“Promise?” He asked.

I nuzzled against his chest, “Promise.”

_Spencer Reid loves me._


	19. Drinks With Friends

“I swear to all that is holy, Spencer, I will have you bent over my knee in the middle of the fucking office if you say anything about the image you made me send last night.” I grumbled, slamming my car door as we walked into the office.

I’d already texted everyone and told them it was a dare, that Spencer had dared me to send it, but it didn’t matter.

“Go ahead, you know I’ll like it.” He winked as we entered the elevator.

The doors opened and we walked into the bullpen. Immediately, Morgan wolf whistled at me.

“Someone likes more than the handcuffs we carry!” He yelled.

I blew him a kiss.

Emily just looked at me, simply raising an eyebrow, and I slumped down in my seat.

“Is something wrong, (Y/N)?” Spencer asked innocently, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“I swear, Spencer, if you make one more comment, I will send the pictures I have of you on your knees to the entire department and print them out to use as confetti.”

His eyes went wide, and he shot me a look, but the smile I had made sure he knew I was kidding.

“Oh damn!” Morgan laughed, “Pretty boy’s not as vanilla as he seems, huh?”

“I really didn’t need to know any of this,” JJ muttered.

“Everyone to the briefing room,” Garcia called, walking past us.

Hotch, unsurprisingly, pulled me and Spencer into his office on the way.

“Do I really want to know why that image was sent last night?” He asked.

“I lost a bet to Spencer,” I muttered, “He beat me in Mario Kart.”

He sighed, “So you sent a picture of you in shibari to the group?”

“It won’t happen again, Sir.” Spencer said.

I had to hold back my laughter.

“At least don’t try and pull the background trick again,” He warned us.

“Understood.” I confirmed.

He walked out and Spencer turned to me. “You tell me not to make a comment about anything and then you almost lose your shit when I address him as ‘Sir’?”

“One more word out of you and I’ll have you on your fucking knees.” I grumbled, following him out of the room.

***

Do murderers never take a break? Seriously, can’t there be some kind of off season?

Apparently not.

We’d barely arrived home when another case came in. Several murders across the country, and three other potential victims missing.

“We’re not getting of the plane.” Hotch said, “We need to refuel and turn around again.”

We all groaned.

“We’ll brief while we’re refueling, so you can all sleep on the way, but as soon as we touch down, we need to get to work.” He continued, “Garcia, let’s get started.”

“Yes, Sir.” She responded, “Alright, we’ve got four vics, like Hotch said. All blond women, former sex workers, now mothers. Three more are missing, and the four that have turned up were missing for about two weeks before they were found but had been dead about a week before they were found. High-traffic areas, meaning the unsub kept them that time. No signs of sexual assault, but they’d been starved.”

“Were they street walkers or did they have client lists?” Emily asked.

“I’m not entirely sure, they’re still interviewing the husbands, and it’s unclear how much they knew about their wives’ former careers.” She answered, “But they all married upper-class men and have kids, all live in the same neighborhood, so I’m checking post-prostitution social lives to see if there’s overlap.”

She continued with the briefing, explaining the lives of the victims, but I was only half paying attention. I’d been up for most of last night interrogating the unsub, and had looking forward to an early night tonight, but it seemed like that wouldn’t be happening.

We finished and I walked over to Spencer, laying down in front of him on the couch. He immediately wrapped his arms around me.

I heard a couple teases about us, but I didn’t care. Spencer was keeping me safe.

***

_“FBI! Russel Steele! Open up!”_

_Crash._

_I was running after him. I could hear my heartbeat._

_He fell._

_He fired._

_I fell._

_I could hear Spencer scream._

_“Don’t strain yourself,” Emily shook me, “You’re going to be okay.”_

_“Do you know what this is like?” Spencer’s voice again. “I watched you bleed all over Emily, do you know what that’s like?”_

“Wake up! You’re dreaming, you’re okay, wake up.” I heard.

I gasped and opened my eyes. I could already feel the tears streaming down my face, and Spencer was hovering nervously over me.

“What happened? Are you okay?” He asked

“You were yelling at me… He shot me again…” My voice was shaking, “I’m so sorry. I hurt you…”

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He hugged me, rocking me back and forth. “I’m here. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

I couldn’t stop crying. It had all felt so real. He was yelling at me and I deserved it. “I put myself in danger…” I whispered.

“We’re all in danger during this job, it was unfair of me to be angry at you for putting yourself in danger,” he kept rocking me. “But you’re okay, we’re both okay.”

I nodded. “Right. We’re okay.” I took a few shaky deep breaths.

“We need to go, are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I wiped my eyes and stood up, “Sorry. I’m okay.”

I looked around. The rest of the team was gone, only Hotch and Spencer remained.

“I’m sorry, Hotch,” I muttered, “It won’t happen again.”

“No need to apologize, we all have issues. You needed your sleep. We understand.” He answered, “Now, are you sure you’re ready to do this?”

I nodded. “Let’s go.”

***

“Okay, we really need a girls’ night out.” Emily said as we all sat down in the plane. “Drink away all this gross murder stuff and just have some fun.”

“Hell yes,” I said, “Let’s do it.”

Spencer looked at JJ, “You’ll keep an eye on her?”

“I’ll make sure she stays safe, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be better now that she’s actually with the man she was pining over.” She teased.

“Shut up.” I grumbled.

“You can’t tell me I’m wrong.” She shot at me.

I didn’t dignify her with a response.

Spencer dropped his voice and looked at me, “You will be safe, won’t you?”

I nodded, “I will, and the girls will be watching over me. I’ll be okay.”

“If you’re sure.” He kissed me.

***

Six shots in, I was grinding up against random guys in the bar, ignoring the fact that Garcia was videoing me.

“Get it, girl!” She called.

I blew her a kiss. The guy behind me grabbed my hips and pulled me closer, but Emily was in between us immediately.

“Okay, dude, calm down.” She pushed him away.

I groaned, “Emily! I was having fun.”

“He’s got a fake, honey, I already told the bartender,” she answered, “You really don’t want to be anywhere close to his hips.”

“Fine.” I stumbled back to the bar and raised my hand, “Another something!”

The bartender passed me a cup of water.

“Yeah, alright, I probably need that.” I grabbed it and chugged.

“Alright ladies, let’s do a round of never have I ever!” JJ yelled.

“I’m about to smoke all of you.” I mumbled, holding up one hand.

“Alright, if you’re so confident, you go first.”

“Never have I ever faked someone’s death!” I yelled over the music.

As expected, JJ and Emily put a finger down, but Garcia put one down.

“I’m not explaining it.” She said before I even asked.

JJ went next: “Never have I ever been tied up sexually.”

“Fuck off.” I muttered, putting a finger down.

Emily put one down too.

“Never have I ever…” Garcia thought for a second, “Been tortured.”

JJ and Emily immediately dropped their fingers.

“What counts?” I asked. “Like… if it was consensual…”

“Put a finger down.” Garcia said. “If you have to clarify, you put a finger down.”

Emily thought for a second, “Never have I ever… Flirted with a police officer to get out of a ticket.”

“Boring!” Garcia said, dropping a finger. “It works!”

JJ put down a finger.

“Never have I ever glitter bombed an ex.” I said.

Emily and Garcia both put their fingers down.

“Damn, Garcia, what haven’t you done?” I asked.

“Hm… Never have I ever worn lingerie to work?” Said JJ.

Garcia and I both dropped fingers.

“Never have I ever… uh…” Garcia thought for a second. “Been to a female strip club.”

Emily, JJ, and I all put down fingers.

“I’m taking you next weekend, Garcia.” I said, “I’ve got a friend who will treat you right.”

“You lose, Emily!” JJ teased.

“That just means I’m the coolest out of all of you.” She smiled and asked for another drink. “Alright, who’s next?”

It took me a second to realize what was going on. “Well, since Emily is out, I guess it’s my turn. Never have I ever been married.”

“Unfair!” JJ yelled, dropping her last finger. “That’s targeting.”

I winked at her. “Sorry, babe!”

“Never have I ever kissed another girl!” Garcia said. “Ha, take that.”

“Fuck it,” I muttered, dropping a finger, then moving forward, kissing her for a few seconds.

She blushed deep. “Uh… I guess I have to drop that finger now?”

Emily grinned, leaning back against the bar, “Well, I’m certainly not complaining.”

“Watch your mouth, or you’re next!” I threatened, waving down the bartender. “Can I just have another water?”

“Honey, I would not complain.” She retorted.

“I swear if y’all end up taunting me this is going to turn into a damn orgy.” I muttered.

“Bartender! This girl needs another round of shots!” Emily shouted, “I would not complain.”

“I have to ask Spencer first, we do have rules, Em.” I answered.

“Just let him watch.” Garcia suggested.

“The two of you, I swear,” I muttered.

Emily smiled, “You know you love me.”

“Yeah I do, baby,” I winked at her.

Jeez, drunk me is a hoe.

***

I got home to see Spencer curled in bed. I dropped my bag, pulled off my clothes, and climbed into bed next to him. He rolled over, clearly half asleep already.

“How was your night out?”

“I kissed Garcia and Emily proposed an orgy.” I answered.

“Oh…kay then.” He kissed me, “G’night.”

***

“Why is drunk me so dumb?” I grumbled, padding into the kitchen.

“Because alcohol inhibits your impulse control.” Spencer answered, handing me a cup of coffee. “So, is that orgy happening?”

I blinked for a second, “What?” Then it clicked. “Oh. Uh, if you’re okay with it? Our rules still stand.”

He laughed, “Only if I get to watch.”

I grumbled and drank my coffee instead of dignifying that comment with a response, “So, what are we doing for Halloween?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve got the sexy doctor look down pat, but are we doing something as a team?” I asked.

“I think Jack and Henry are dressing up so JJ and Hotch will be occupied,” He shrugged, “Why, do you have something in mind?”

I fought to keep my voice casual, “I’ve got a Halloween night fantasy or two…”

He grinned, “Please do tell me more.”

“We’re probably doing something as a team,” I avoided, “Or there will be another case, or something. Don’t worry about it.”

“You can’t just say you’ve got fantasies and then not tell me about them!” He complained, “That’s just rude.”

“You probably won’t be into it anyways, it’s more edgeplay…” I hesitated.

"Tell me."


	20. Primal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the tin.   
> It's what you talked about at the end of last chapter.

My heart pounded as I ran. I knew he was right behind me, I knew it, but I couldn’t stop running. I stopped behind a tree, panting, trying to figure out where he was. I heard footsteps approaching behind me and began running again, but it was too late.

His hand was against my throat, and I was pinned against the tree.

“You really think you could get away from me?” He growled.

I had no response.

“Answer me.” His hand tightened.

I gasped, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s not the question I asked.” His eyes felt like they were boring into my soul, “Did. You. Think. You could get away from me?”

“Yes, Sir, I’m sorry.” I muttered, dropping my eyes, “I thought I could escape.”

He grabbed one of my wrists and tried to turned me, pinning me against the tree, but I took the opportunity to try to run, but I made it all of four steps before I was knocked down onto my stomach. I heard the click of metal, and suddenly my hands were bound. I was jerked to my feet.

“Fucking whore,” he muttered, “I was going to take you home, but you’re not even worth my time.”

My skirt was flipped up and his hand was between my legs with no warning. I gasped.

“Are you enjoying this?” He asked, “You love being my slut, don’t you?”

I whined.

“Answer me!” He growled, fisting one hand into my hair.

“Yes, Sir! I love being at your mercy!” I groaned. And I did. I loved being trapped, helpless as he took me and used me like only he could.

He ripped my underwear off, dangling it in front of my face. It was soaked.

“Look at how aroused you are,” He was right next to my ear, “You can see your arousal soaking your pretty little panties?” Before I could respond, he’d balled them up and stuffed them into my mouth.

He reached around to play with my clit and my legs almost gave out. I was tired from running and I just wanted him, now, but he had other plans.

“You’re my little prize,” He was biting down my neck, “I caught you, fair and square. I can tell you to do anything and you’ll obey.” We both knew he was right. “I could keep you as my little fuckdoll. Just leave you tied up on my bed, waiting. Just dripping with my cum. I’ll be able to use you whenever and however I want, and you would fucking love it. I’d fill you full of my seed and breed you.”

 _Fuck._ We hadn’t discussed children, but the way he said that… I wanted it. That may have been the hormones talking, though.

“Cum, fucktoy.”

I screamed around the fabric in my mouth. The only thing holding me up was his arm around my waist as I twitched and moaned.

“Can you stand?” He asked, voice softening for a second

I nodded, adjusting myself so I was standing, legs shaking a little. I heard him undo his belt, but I kept my eyes ahead, determined to obey.

“Turn around.”

I did, keeping my eyes on his chest. I could see his hand lazily stroking his cock, and I knew better to look up at him.

“Do you want this?” He asked, “You want me deep inside of you, whore?”

I nodded eagerly, still not looking up.

His arms wrapped around my waist, allowing my legs to wrap around his. He moved smoothly to the closest tree, and I reached behind me to brace myself against it, trying to find a comfortable position for my still-cuffed hands. He moved against me a few times, then thrust into me in one smooth motion.

Had it not been for my panties in my mouth, I’d have let out a string of curses. As it was, I just moaned and clenched around him as he fucked me.

“You love this, you little whore. You love being fucked where anyone could find us, and you love being at my mercy.” It wasn’t a question. “You want to be full of me.”

I moaned and nodded as he sped up. The loudest sound was our bodies hitting one another over and over, mixed in with the moans we both let out. I wanted to beg.

It was like he could read it in my eyes, “Cum for me.”

I threw my head back and came, grinding my hips forward, and he gasped and groaned, burying himself inside of me. I felt his cum fill me and hummed at the feeling. We were still for a few seconds, both catching our breaths.

He pulled out of me and zipped up his pants, letting me down and grabbing the chain between my cuffs.

“I think I’ll keep you.” He said, leading me forward.

I stumbled, trying to keep pace, unable to figure out where we were going. Before I could get any bearings, he pulled out a piece of fabric and tied it around my eyes. What felt like both no time and an eternity later, we stopped. A door opened, and I was thrust roughly into the backseat of a car, laying down. He wrapped something around my ankles to bind them. I felt us start driving, but still had no idea where we were.

When we stopped, I was pulled out of the car and carried somewhere. I heard a door open and close, but I stayed in his arms. When he finally put me down, it was on what felt like a bed, and then his footsteps retreated. I was still in the dark. I heard water running, and he came back.

The bounds on my ankles were undone first, then the cuffs.

“I turned the lights low, but you might need a second to adjust,” Spencer said. His voice was less commanding than before. “I won’t take this off just yet.”

I nodded, then opened my mouth.

“Oh, shit!” He exclaimed, pulling the panties out, “I completely forgot, sorry.”

I felt him sit on the bed, and then I was in his arms. I wrapped my legs around him, just wanting to be close.

“You did so good for me,” he whispered, “So amazing, that was wonderful, babe.”

I hummed happily as he rocked me gently.

“I need to strip you down so I can give you a bath, okay?” He checked, and I nodded. He continued talking as he undid my clothes, “That was really fun, I really enjoyed it and you were so good. You did exactly what I wanted, you made me feel so good.” When I was fully naked, he picked me up again. “You okay with going in the water now?”

I nodded.

“Verbal confirmation, (Y/N).” He reminded me.

“Yeah, I’d like that, Sir.” I whispered, and he carried me to the bathroom, setting me down gently in the warm water.

“I’m going to take the blindfold off, so close your eyes, okay? It’s dark in here so your eyes should adjust.” Spencer removed it slowly, making sure my eyes were closed.

I waited a few moments, then opened them, seeing Reid slowly take his clothes off to join me. “Hey.”

“Hey, beautiful.” He leaned down to kiss me, shedding his underwear. He turned off the water then shifted me forward, getting in behind me so I could cuddle against him. “I really liked that.”

I nodded, “Me too. Thank you.”

“I should be thanking you,” he answered, kissing my neck, “I never would have tried that otherwise.”

“Happy to help.” I giggled, a little delirious from the adrenaline and orgasm high, “Spence?”

“Yes, baby?” He asked.

“You, uh, you said something during the scene,” I began slowly, “When you talked about having me as your fuckdoll.”

He was lathering me with soap now. “Which part of it?”

“You said you wanted to breed me.”

He froze. “I- uh- I don’t remember that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I guess it just… came out.”

“Spencer?” I asked. “Do you want to have kids?”

He hesitated, “Yes. But I want to be with you more.”

“Spencer,” I whispered, “You shouldn’t have to make that choice.” I paused, realizing how that sounded, “You don’t have to make that choice.”

“Wait…” he paused his ministrations, “Are you saying…”

“I want to have kids, Spence. Not right now, but eventually.” I confirmed. “And I’m really glad it’s something you want too.”

He shifted a bit so he could kiss me properly. I smiled into the kiss and responded eagerly.

“I’m so in love with you.” He whispered.

“I’m in love with you too, Spencer.”

He finished bathing me and himself and stepped out of the tub, grabbing a towel. I leaned back, admiring the sight.

“My eyes are up here, sweetheart.” He teased.

I laughed, “Believe me, I know where I’m looking.”

He finished toweling off and grabbed another one, opening it up for me. I stepped out of the pool and he wrapped it around me, pulling me into a hug. I gasped, startled, then hugged him. He dried me off, careful and methodical, then went to grab clothes for both of us. A couple months ago, I would have hated this kind of treatment, but I’d grown to love it. It was how Spencer reminded me he loved me- by taking care of me.

He walked back in, wearing a big hoodie, holding a shirt for me. I reached out to take it, but he held it away from me and leaned down to kiss me. I kissed him back, but he didn’t stop there, kissing down my neck and chest.

“This,” _Kiss._ “Body,” _Kiss._ “Is,” _Kiss._ “Beautiful,” _Kiss._ “And,” _Kiss._ “Perfect,” _Kiss._ “To,” _Kiss._ “Me,” _Kiss._ “Because,” _Kiss._ “You,” _Kiss._ “Are,” _Kiss._ “Perfect,” _Kiss._ “To,” _Kiss._ “Me.” He ended with a kiss on my ankle, having kissed all the way down my body, paying special attention to my scars and stretch marks.

“I love you.” I whispered as he stood up, helping me into the shirt.

He smiled and hugged me, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is talking about you.  
> Yes, you.  
> You're perfect.
> 
> Also, in the space of 20 chapters, Spencer has gone from stuttering at the idea of a play party to full primal dom.  
> I mean given it's over a few months but... yeah.


	21. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer make some big moves, both in your relationship and on other people.

“So,” Emily started, “How are you and Reid?”

I sat back, “Really good.”

“Like, moving in together good?” She asked.

I bit my lip. I’d been thinking about it for a while, but neither of us had brought it up. “Maybe? I don’t know? We haven’t talked about it, but I think we might soon. I really love him, and he loves me, isn’t that all that matters?”

“You’ve driven in together more times than you’ve driven apart.” She raised an eyebrow, “Wouldn’t it just be making it official at this point?”

“Um, no. More of do I really have room for all his books,” I answered, “And the answer is I need to do some serious reorganizing.”

“I’m sure you’ll make it work.” She smiled, “By the way… you remember what we talked about when we went drinking?”

I groaned, “Please don’t remind me.”

“I’m not opposed to it.” She cut me off, “Really. If it’s ever something you really want to do…”

Well, that wasn’t what I expected. Not that I was complaining.

“Oh! Uh…” I glanced over at Spencer, standing by the coffee pot, “I mean, I wouldn’t complain, but… I don’t know about Spence.”

“No pressure, just let me know.” She winked, stood up, and walked away.

Well, okay then.

Spencer managed to escape Morgan and raised an eyebrow at me, “What was that about?”

“Emily is apparently interested in… playing with us at some point.” I answered quietly, “I told her I’d talk to you.”

He flushed, “Oh. Uh… okay.”

I laughed at his expression, “Spence, this is no different than an invitation at a party. Think about it, and if you’re interested, we can talk more.”

“But she’s a coworker!” He hissed, “It’s very different! She’s not just someone at a party!”

I rolled my eyes, “If you don’t want to then we won’t.”

“I didn’t say that.” He said quickly, then realized how that sounded, “I mean, uh, I don’t know? I have to think.”

He started walking away.

“Spence!” I called, and he turned around. I grabbed his collar and pulled him into a kiss, “I love you.”

His face was practically a beet, “I love you too.”

***

I couldn’t stop thinking about what Emily said as we got in the car. She was right: Spencer was basically living at my house now, except for going home to grab clothes or books. But making it official was scary.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked.

“Emily brought up something else when we were talking.” I hesitated, “She asked if we’re living together.”

He was silent for a few seconds, then: “Do you? Want to live together, that is.”

“I don’t know if I can fit your library,” I laughed, trying to buy myself time to think of an answer. “Maybe?”

“I do basically spend all my time at your house…” he thought.

“But what if something happens?” I interrupted, “What if I fuck up again and you get upset? You won’t have any place to go.” My voice was trembling even thinking about it.

“Then we’ll have to talk about it. We’re adults and we have to discuss it like adults.” He ran his hand through his hair, “And I don’t want to have an escape from you. When I did I relapsed and it wasn’t good for either of us.”

“But-“ My voice cracked, “What if we break up.” I sounded like a child.

“Then I’ll move out. But I don’t see that happening. Do you?”

I shook my head.

“Do you want me to move in with you?” He sounded hesitant.

I bit my lip, “Yeah. I’d really like that.”

I could hear the smile in his voice, “Well, that’s that then.”

He made it sound so simple. I really hoped he was right.

***

“Spence!” I called, “Why in the name of all that is holy do you have three copies of the same damn book?”

“Which one?” He responded, poking his head out of his bedroom.

I held up _Harry Potter_. All three copies: Latin, English, and Russian.

“Because I get bored sometimes. Duh.”

I sighed, “Normal people watch TV or go outside when they’re bored.”

“ _Egomet nihil probi memet acturum esse solemniter iuro_.” He responded.

“Great, thanks, that really clears everything up.” I muttered, putting them into the box and writing it on my list. He’d insisted that the books were organized, even though they weren’t on his shelves, and I was really trying (mostly for my sake when we began unpacking).

“We need to get bookshelves too,” I called, “I don’t think I have enough and yours are built into the walls.”

He groaned, “But I like the color of mine!”

“Spence,” I laughed, “We can get a stain or paint. The color isn’t irreplaceable.”

He walked out of the bedroom, pouting, “But I like these ones!”

“Well, do you want to move in or not?” I asked.

“Yes, I do, I just like my bookshelves,” he wrapped his arms around my waist, “I love you.”

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him, “I love you too. Now let me finish packing your books. Work on your bedroom.”

“You sure you don’t want to join me before it’s all packed up?” He winked.

“Spencer. Pack your freaking room.”

He was acting like a child, but it really was cute.

“Can I put all your French philosopher books in one or do you want them organized some other way?” I asked. “Because otherwise I’ll have to google all of their theories or some shit.”

“Language is fine.” He answered, “Just write down the titles on your list.”

“It’s a good thing I don’t have to memorize these names, because my French pronunciation sucks.” I said, pulling the books off the shelf and writing the titles down before setting them down. “And before you say something in French, if you do, I swear you won’t cum for a week.”

There ended up being more boxes of books than kitchen supplies, clothing, and toiletries combined. I wasn’t at all surprised, but my back was complaining. By the time we’d finished bringing all the boxes over, I was pretty sure my arms were going to fall off.

Spencer sat on the floor, looking around the now-bare apartment. All that remained were the bookshelves and the furniture that he was going to sell. I sat next to him.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked, “We don’t have to rush.”

He turned to face me, “I want this. It’s just… this apartment has seen me through everything. The Dilaudid, Maeve, when you got shot… This has been my home for a long time.”

“I know, and you don’t need to rush. If you don’t want to give it up yet, you don’t have to.” I knew he hadn’t told the landlord he was leaving yet. “You can wait.”

“I want to live with you.” His voice was firm, “I want to wake up next to you and fall asleep with you in my arms and spend weekends having fun and dancing in our underwear. I… I want our children to grow up in that house.”

I hadn’t even thought about that, but he sounded so hopeful, so happy about even the possibility. “Spence… I love you.”

“I love you too, (Y/N).” He pulled me into his lap, kissing me.

“You ready?” I asked when we broke apart, standing up and offering my hand.

He took it, “Ready. I’m moving in with you!” We stood up and walked to the door when he turned to me. “One more thing.”

Before I could ask, he pushed me against the wall and kissed me, making me gasp and wrap my arms around him.

He pulled away, smiling, “Just wanted to do that one more time.”

“I am not complaining.” I took his hand, and we walked out, closing the door behind us.

We got in the car and I turned it on, pretending to be distracted so Spencer could look out the window.

“Goodbye,” he whispered.

With that, I began driving. We were quiet for a while, but then Spencer spoke up.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, of course,” I answered, “What’s up?”

“Why didn’t you ever ask me about my experiences with anal intercourse?” He said quickly, as if rushing to get it out before he chickened out.

I shrugged, “It’s none of my business.”

“But…,” he fiddled with his hands, “You didn’t ask anything. Even after I said it was with a man.”

“Because it’s none of my business,” I repeated, “I don’t care if you’ve had sex with a man, you’ve shown me your tests and you’re clean, you’re with me now, what else matters?”

“I just didn’t expect you to be so casual about it.”

“One of my best friends is a pansexual stripper, Emily’s a massive lesbian, Morgan is definitely bi, and Garcia is either pan or bi, she just doesn't use a label.” I responded, “Not all of us are completely blind, Spence.”

“What?” He exclaimed, “No way. Morgan’s not bi, and he and Garcia are…”

“Constantly flirting.” I cut him off, “I kissed Garcia when I was drunk, we were all tipsy, but she definitely liked it, and you heard us talking about her girlfriend. And the way Morgan reacted to me talking about you being on your knees… I’m surprised you didn’t notice.”

Spencer was stuttering over his words now, “How did I not notice?”

“Because you’re the most idiotic genius ever,” I replied as I pulled into my driveway, “Any more questions?”

“You and Emily and Garcia? And Morgan?”

“That’s not a question, Reid, that’s a list of names.” I answered. “Ask the question.”

“You.. uh… You were only half-joking about the orgy, weren’t you?”

I shrugged, “I mean, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it, and Emily seemed down. I don’t know about Morgan or Garcia, I’ve never asked.” I thought for a second, “I’m not sure about Garcia, but I doubt Morgan would say no.”

He flushed, “Uh- oh, okay.”

I laughed, closing the door, “Spence, calm down. You don’t need to overthink this. I don’t even know if that would ever happen.”

He was blushing deeply.

“And you really like thinking about that, don’t you?” I teased, “You’ve got a thing for coworkers?”

He mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear.

“Speak up,” I ordered, lifting his chin so he had to look at me.

He hesitated. “You’re all so dominant… I just want to be good.”

I hummed and pulled him close to me, kissing him, “My good submissive slut. Go put on your collar.”

He smiled and turned, walking to the bedroom. I took out my phone.

**_Message to: Emily, Morgan_ **

**Do y’all have alternate phone numbers?  
I have a question.**

I slipped both my phones into my pocket and walked back to the bedroom. Spencer was on his knees, still clothed, facing the door, waiting.

“Look at me,” I said, and he immediately looked up. “I need you to answer me completely honestly. Do you want to pursue something sexually with Emily and Morgan?”

He thought, and I waited. This wasn’t something I’d pressure him on. I felt my phone buzz, but I ignored it.

“Yes, ma’am,” he finally said, “I’d like that.”

I pulled out my work phone, seeing texts from both Morgan and Emily with alternate numbers. I smiled and pulled out my private phone.

“Can I send them a picture of you like this?”

He nodded.

 **_Message to: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **One attachment.**

 **_Message to: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **Interested?**

I sent the same two texts to Emily, then put my phones away. I walked to my drawers, grabbing rope.

“Stand up and strip. Leave your boxers on.” I ordered, and he rushed to obey. When he finished, he stood, hands behind his back, eyes trained on the floor.

“Arms out.” I said.

He obeyed and I began wrapping the rope around him, running my hand over the rope as I laid it to make sure it laid flat and flush against his skin. I traced my fingers over his neck every time I got close, making him gasp and shiver, but he kept his eyes down. When I got close to finishing, I decided to have some fun. I took his hands and put his wrists together at the center of his chest, then tied them and attached them to the chest harness, binding his hands there. I could tell he wanted to complain, but kept his mouth shut.

When I finished, I stepped back, admiring my work, then grabbed another coil of rope. This one attached to the chest harness, circled his thighs, and ran between them. I took the opportunity to brush his bulge with my hand. He gasped but didn’t say anything.

I picked up my alternate phone, trusting him to stay in place, and smiled at the messages.

 **_Message from: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **Time and date?  
Seriously, I’m down for what you want.  
Especially if I get to see him like that.**

 **_Message from: M  
_ ** **Oh shit  
Do I get to see you?**

I took another picture of Spencer, sent it to both of them, and walked to my drawers, pulling out an outfit and laying it on the bed, then walked to the closet and pulled out clothes for Spencer.

“We’re going to get dinner, put these on and let’s go.” I said. He turned around and began pulling clothes on. I pulled on the underwear and a nice dress, giving me minimal support on my chest, but that was the point.

I took out my phone and took a couple pictures of Spencer, then some of us together. I looked at Spencer, then looped my finger around the collar. “Do you want to keep this on?”

He nodded eagerly, and I smiled, kissing him.

 **_Group Message to: M, Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **We’re going out for dinner. Feel free to join.**

 **_Group Message to: M, Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **One attachment.**

 **_Group Message to: M, Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **He’s still wearing the rope harness.**

I tucked my phones into my bag, grabbed my wallet, and took Spencer’s hand.

“Where are we going, ma’am?” He asked once we were in the car.

“Dinner.” I said.

He pouted, “Where are we going for dinner, ma’am?”

“You’ll have to find out.” I smirked.

He grumbled and slumped back in his seat but didn’t say anything else. When he saw the restaurant, though, he straightened up.

“Ma’am, this is really expensive…” he was fidgeting with his hands again.

“Yes, it is.” I said, “And I’m taking you for dinner.”

“But… ma’am…”

I looked at him, “Yes?”

He thought for a few seconds, then, “Nothing. Thank you, ma’am.”

“Spence, color?” I asked.

“Green.” He said confidently, “I just feel bad about you spending money on me.”

“Well, you better get used to it.” I leaned over to kiss him, “I love you, Spence.”

“I love you too.”

We got out of the car and I checked my phone.

 **_Message from: Emily  
_ ** **Send me the restaurant name?**

I saw a similar text from Morgan, and I quickly texted them both back and told them I was paying.

We walked in and I approached the host, “Reservation for Dr. and Ms. Reid? I reserved for two, but we actually have two other friends coming.”

“That’s alright, we have room. Would you like to wait for them or be seated?” He responded.

“We’ll sit now.” I said, and we began following him.

Spencer looked at me, “When did you change your last name?”

“It was easier.” I responded. _And I want your last name._

The host seated us.

“Three menus, please,” I said.

He looked confused, but nodded, setting them out. As soon as he left, I took the menu away from Spencer.

“Do I get to look at the menu?” He asked.

I shook my head, “Nope. I know what you like, and you’d complain about the prices.”

He grumbled but didn’t argue. We talked as I looked over the menu, mostly discussing a couple renovations to the house we were planning on in order to accommodate Spencer’s stuff, including building several bookshelves.

I saw Spencer look up and wave at someone and looked up to see Morgan and Emily walking towards us, both dressed up.

“Hey, you two!” I said as they were seated.

“Hey!” Emily smiled, sitting, “Nice restaurant.”

“Yeah, seriously, damn.” Morgan teased.

I shrugged, “Thought I’d treat us.”

We lapsed into casual conversation, not wanting to immediately confront the elephant in the room. When our waitress approached us, I ordered for me and Spencer, earning a little of a side eye from our companions, and didn’t let him get alcohol.

When we finished, everyone was quiet for a few seconds.,

“So, this is more of a 24/7 dynamic, huh?” Emily said.

I shrugged, “Sometimes. Sometimes we switch things around.”

“Yeah, but I’m not ever dominant in public,” Spencer cut in, “If one of us is, it’s you.”

“True.”

Morgan’s eyes were darting between us like a tennis match, while Emily seemed much more casual about all of it.

“Derek,” I said, “If you’ve got a question, just ask it.”

He looked at me, “No questions. Just wasn’t expecting this.”

Spencer looked at him, “What were you expecting?”

I was surprised by how direct he was, but I guess he was gaining more confidence with his role.

“I don’t know. Not this.” Morgan took a drink of water.

“Do you have more experience with this?” Spencer asked Emily.

“Spencer, I’ve lived around the world, been tortured, been an undercover agent, faked my death multiple times, and I work for the FBI.” She smirked, “Is that really the most surprising thing about me?”

“Okay, good point.” He said. “But you never know.”

“So how does this work?” interjected Morgan, “Is it always this casual?”

All three of us shook our heads.

“It’s different depending on the circumstances,” I answered, “Spencer and me when we’re alone is different than the casual dominance here. But we do integrate some elements… Like Spencer’s rope harness and collar.”

“Other partners will have a situational dynamic,” Emily continued, “Like I’m assuming Spencer’s dominance. That dynamic stays in the bedroom. Or… at least in private. Relative privacy.”

“Other dynamics are focused around servitude, not necessarily anything sexual. Basic housework kinds of things.” Spencer was becoming more casual with discussing it, “Or caregiver/little dynamics, in which one partner, normally the dominant, cares for the other partner when they are in a regressed headspace.”

“So, what do you have?” Morgan asked.

“Spencer and I don’t quite have a total power exchange dynamic, but we’re closer to Master/slave in public, when I’m the dominant. When Spencer is the dominant, it tends to me more of a basic situational Dom/sub.” I answered.

I reached over to hold Spencer’s hand, and he squeezed mine. I looked at him, “You okay?”

He nodded, “Yes, ma’am. Still green.”

“Ma’am, huh?” Emily said, “I always thought you were a ‘Daddy’ kind of girl.”

Morgan almost choked at that, and we all fell silent as the waitress came back with our drinks. We all smiled and thanked her, staying quiet until she walked away.

“What do you like to be called, Morgan?” I asked, “You’re at least a little into this, you’ve got to have something.”

“I didn’t think it was this intense.” He said honestly, “I thought it was nicknames, choking, and some rope, not all of this.”

“We’ve worked cases involving BDSM!” Spencer sighed, “How did you not expect this?”

“Answer the question, Morgan,” Emily said, “You’ve got to have something.”

He sighed, “Daddy, Sir, or Agent.”

I raised an eyebrow at the last one, “Remind me never to call you that again. Don’t need any workplace distractions.”

“You two are all over each other, I’m not the distracting one,” he shot back. “Okay, what about you, Emily?”

“When I’m dominant or submissive? And in what dynamic?” She asked.

“Uh…” Morgan looked confused (a theme of the evening), “Any?”

She thought for a second, “Queen, Ma’am, Mistress, Daddy, Mommy, Sir, Master, Owner, Wolf… Like I said, it depends on the situation.”

Spencer’s hand squeezed mine. I looked over to see a small bulge but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, since we’re all talking about this, you have to go.” Emily looked at me.

“With Spence I use Ma’am or Mistress,” I started, “But I’ve used Daddy and Master before. I call Sir, we haven’t really talked about other possible names.”

The waitress arrived with our food and we all fell silent again.

Morgan spoke up, “So, what exactly do you want to do?”

I looked at Spencer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahaha cliffhangers


	22. Naughty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah uh... there's a foursome.  
> Enjoy.

“Okay, let’s go over limits again, I want to be ready for tomorrow.” I said, sitting at the table with Spencer.

“Kissing is allowed, no marking you, no marking me in visible places, and use condoms,” Spencer started, “You’re the only one who can tell me when to cum. Morgan is opposed to being penetrated, and Emily doesn’t like giving blowjobs or being spanked. I’ll address Morgan as Daddy or Sir and Emily as Queen or My Lady. I call you Ma’am or Mistress. Our safe words are the same.”

I nodded, “Emily also doesn’t like bondage of any kind, but Morgan is okay with minimal tying, like cuffs. Both of them agreed to orgasm control. Emily likes breathplay, Morgan doesn’t know. I’m the primary dom.”

“I think that about covers it,” he sat back, smiling, “Is it weird how excited I am? I’m in love with you, and that’s not changing, but…”

I shook my head, “I get excited when I go to parties, even when I have romantic or sexual partners. It’s the adrenaline of doing something different. Plus, they’re our coworkers, it’s kind of thrilling.”

“Thank you.” He said.

I looked up at him, surprised, “Why are you thanking me?”

“At the beginning of this year I was scared to even ask you about this and now you’re willing to try this with me.” He looked down, seeming shy, “I honestly didn’t even expect you to do this with me.”

“Spence, I’ve been in love with you since we first met. You’re an amazing partner and I love being with you in every way.” I moved around the table and straddled him, giving him a long kiss.

“Bedroom?” He murmured against my lips.

I hummed in agreement and he gripped my hips, standing and walking to the bedroom. He had this path memorized by now. When we were by the side of the bed, he knelt slowly down, setting me down gently before moving to straddle me. I pulled him close, kissing him again.

His hands traced down my body, gripping the bottom of my shirt and pulling it up. We broke apart to pull it off, and I quickly moved to do the same to his. I ran my hands down his chest, fingers tracing his muscles.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered, then moved to kiss his neck, biting and sucking to make a small mark.

He gasped and twitched, digging his fingers into my back.

“Mine,” I growled, “You’re mine.” One hand wrapped around his collar as I finished marking his neck.

“Yes, ma’am,” he whined, “Yours.”

“Pants off,” I ordered, keeping one hand around his collar as I pushed my shorts off- I hadn’t bothered wearing underwear. I reached forward to stroke him, making him moan and buck into my hand. I decided to ignore it.

“Ma’am,” he gasped, biting my shoulder, “Please let me fuck you, please.”

“Get on your knees,” I ordered, and he immediately dropped to his knees. I spread my legs, “You know what to do. Keep your hands behind your back.”

He clasped his hands behind his back and leaned forward, giving a few tentative licks up my slit. When he looked up at me and noticed my expression, he sped up, eagerly licking and sucking.

I ran one hand through his hair. “Just like that, fuck, right there, slut,” I groaned, “Fuck, you’re so good for me.”

He hummed at the praise, and the vibrations made me gasp.

“Fuck! Ah, yes, right there, don’t stop.” I ground against his face.

Spencer closed his eyes, getting lost in pleasuring me, and I let him work, loving how he felt. I was getting closer and he could hear it.

“Fuck, right there, you’re such a good little whore, making me feel so good- ah! Fuck! Yes, don’t stop, don’t stop.”

He redoubled his efforts and I was on the edge quickly. I gave him no warning before coming, grinding against his face and tightening my grip in his hair. When I was satisfied, I pulled him away. His face was covered in my arousal.

“Fuck, you’re so good for me,” I groaned, then pulled him up to kiss me, “My good slut.”

“Can I fuck you now, ma’am?” He asked.

I leaned back, spreading my legs, “Fuck me like the good whore you are.”

He hummed and positioned himself, stroking his tip up and down a few times before pushing into me. We both gasped and moaned, and I pulled him close to me to kiss him. He continued pushing in slowly, stopping for a second when he was all the way in.

“So, fucking good,” I moaned, kissing him, “Such a good slut, fucking me so well. Go on, fuck me.”

He began moving in and out of me, finding a pace, then moving faster. I knew he was already aroused from our discussion earlier, and it was clear. One hand moved in between my legs, playing with my clit as he moved in me.

“Fuck,” I moaned, “Right there, don’t stop, oh fuck.”

He leaned down to kiss me, hand moving faster, and I gasped into his mouth.

“Ma’am,” he groaned, “Ma’am you feel so good around me, please, you make me feel so good.”

I reached up, grabbed his collar, and pulled him into another kiss, then whispered, “If you want something, use your words.”

He whined and kept fucking me, losing tempo a few times, clearly getting close to his orgasm. He couldn’t hold it for long.

“Fuck! Ma’am, please, please let me cum, fuck, I want to cum in you, I want to be your good slut, please, please, let me cum, oh shit.” The words were tumbling out of his mouth.

I pulled him close, “Cum.” I kissed him hard, feeling him moan loudly, as he thrust deep inside of me. I came around him at the feeling of his orgasm.

He was panting, trying to catch his breath, and I pulled him into another kiss. “Mine.”

He smiled and kissed me back, “Yours.” He pulled out of me, relaxing beside me and humming, “Thank you, ma’am.”

I turned to him, “Of course, Spence, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

I held my breath as I clipped my corset, moved it so it was in line, and turned to face Spencer. “Good?”

His jaw was practically on the floor. “Yeah. Wow. You- you look amazing.”

I spun, showing off the short skirt I’d chosen. It was short enough that twirling it almost revealed my lace boyshorts. My sparkly thigh highs topped the outfit off. Spencer was already wearing the outfit I’d chosen for him- tight jeans and a muscle tee, no underwear, and the collar I’d bought for him. Not quite as overtly sexual as mine but revealing, nonetheless.

The doorbell rang and I smiled, “Ready?”

“Ready.” He confirmed, and I gave him a kiss.

I walked to the door, hips swaying, and opened the door to find Emily, holding a bottle of wine and wearing a short babydoll-style dress and heels.

“Hey, Emily!” I said, welcoming her in, “You look fabulous.”

She looked me up and down, “You look amazing. Wow.”

I smiled, closing the door behind you, “You like?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m pretty sure even a blind gay man would think you were hot.” She turned to Spencer, “How are you?”

He dropped his eyes immediately, “I’m good, my lady, thank you.”

She put the wine down and walked over to him, looking him up and down. He kept his eyes down. She turned back to me without saying anything, but neither Spencer nor I were surprised.

“You’ve got a very well-trained pet, ma’am,” she said to me, “He looks good.”

I inclined my head, “Thank you. Spencer?”

He looked up, “Yes, mistress?”

“Pour some wine for us, will you?”

He nodded. “Yes, mistress.”

We hadn’t had much of a domestic dynamic before, but he seemed to be enjoying it. He quickly retrieved three glasses, pouring two out and leaving the third empty, then walked to my side, staying quiet. Emily and I continued to talk. I took Spencer’s hand and stroked my thumb over the back of his hand.

When the doorbell rang, I turned to Spencer, “Go answer that, pet.”

He nodded and walked to the door, took a breath, then opened it. Emily and I looked over to see Morgan in a plain button up and jeans, staring at Spencer.

“Hey, Derek,” I smiled, walking over to him as he walked in, “How are you?”

“Good,” he gave me and Emily hugs, “Still a little surprised this is actually happening, but…”

“Do you want some wine?” I asked.

He nodded, and I looked at Spencer, who immediately moved to pour another glass, handing it wordlessly to Morgan.

“Pet,” I said, making Spencer look up, “Go to the bedroom, get on your knees. We’ll be there in a second.”

He nodded, “Yes, mistress,” and immediately walked to the bedroom.

“Well damn, you’ve got him whipped for you, huh?” Morgan teased.

“He enjoys it,” I shrugged, “It’s giving up control in a safe manner to someone you trust.”

“I can see how that would be appealing, but…” he thought, “I guess I’m used to being the more dominant partner. Never thought too much about anything else.”

“We’ve left Spencer waiting for long enough, he might be getting lonely,” Emily said.

I shrugged, “I’ve left him for much longer. He likes the anticipation. Besides, we can have fun before we get there.”

I grabbed the collar of Morgan’s shirt and pulled him, kissing him hard. He was surprised at first but responded eagerly. I moved one leg to push against his growing bulge.

He pulled back, “Fucking tease.”

“Whoops,” I smiled. “You love it.”

He didn’t deny it.

“Alright, hands off, my turn,” Emily teased, grabbing my hips and pulling me into a kiss. Her hands ran up and down my back, pulling me against her.

When we broke apart, I saw Morgan palming himself over his jeans.

“You’re lucky you’re not my sub, I’d make your ass red for that,” I told him.

With that, I began walking to the bedroom, knowing the other two would follow me. Spencer was on his knees, waiting. I walked around him, running my hands through his hair.

“Strip and bend over the bed.” I ordered.

He stood and rushed to obey. I leaned against the bed frame, watching his hands move quickly to remove his clothes and bend over. Morgan walked forward, brushing one hand over his ass. Reid gasped, but then remained silent.

“What are you thinking about, Morgan?” Emily asked.

Morgan trailed his hand up Spencer’s back and down his hip, “Fucking that pretty little ass of his until he screams.”

I was a little surprised at how direct he was, but I couldn’t blame him. Spencer’s ass was really nice.

“Lube and plugs are in the bedside table, top drawer,” I answered, “He makes the prettiest noises.”

“I’m curious to feel the slut’s mouth,” Emily said, “You’ve talked about how good he is, but I want to feel it for myself.”

I heard the popping of the cap of the tube of lube and decided Morgan could handle himself for a while. I led Emily around the other side of the bed, right in Spencer’s eyesight, and pulled her into a kiss, hands quickly working on the back of her dress to unzip it.

“Color?” I heard Morgan ask, and I smiled. He remembered.

“Green,” Spencer answered, and moaned.

I pulled away from Emily to watch, seeing the look in his eyes and Morgan’s fingers pushed into him. I turned back to Emily and pulled her dress down, revealing a lacy bra and no underwear. I trailed one hand in between her legs as I kissed her chest, unhooking her bra with another hand (Not as easy feat). I could feel her getting wet.

“Go on, get on the bed and spread your legs, let him pleasure you.” I encouraged, “You’ll love his tongue.”

She obliged and got on the bed, running her hand through his hair and bringing him towards her. He began pleasuring her eagerly, making her hum in pleasure. Taking the advantage of his distraction, Morgan pushed in another finger. Spencer moaned, making Emily gasp, and I just stood back, enjoying the scene.

“It’s not fair to leave you out,” Emily called to me, “Come over here.”

I raised an eyebrow at her demanding tone.

Emily bit her tongue, “Right. Ma’am, would you please sit on my face so I can make you feel good?”

I nodded, undoing the clasps on my corset and letting it drop to the floor, then shedding my panties. She laid back and I got on the bed, straddling her face. She reached up and took my hips, guiding them to her face. _Damn_ , she was good with her tongue, she knew exactly how to make me feel wonderful and edge me.

“Fuck, Emily, that feels so good,” I gasped, trying not to grind down against my face. Spencer clearly had her close, I could tell from the way she moaned against me. “I want you to cum with me, okay?”

She hummed in assent and increased her pace, making me lose my balance for a second.

“Fuck! Em, I’m so close, just like that,” I groaned, digging my hands into my thighs, “I’m so close, oh, fuck, cum with me Emily.” I moaned, grinding down against her face, feeling her moan and twitch against me. I waited for a few seconds, then moved away.

“You weren’t kidding about Spencer’s mouth,” she smiled as I leaned against the pillows.

He had his face mostly buried in the bed, keening as Morgan fingered him. I leaned forward and gripped his hair, pulling him up.

“Enjoying yourself, whore?” I asked.

Spencer nodded, “Yes, ma’am, daddy is making me feel so good.”

The way he said daddy was sinful.

“You think he’s ready to be fucked?” I looked up at Morgan.

“Yes, ma’am, I want daddy to fuck me, please,” Spencer interjected, pushing back against Derek’s fingers.

“Did we ask you?” said Morgan, not even waiting for a response, “No, we didn’t. And apparently, yes, he’s very ready to be fucked.”

He pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the sheets, and grabbing a condom. He rolled it on quickly, rocking his hips against Spencer, who pushed back against him eagerly.

“Color, baby?” I checked.

“Green,” he answered quickly, moaning when Morgan pushed into him, fingers curling into the sheets, “Ah- fuck! Thank you, daddy.”

Morgan gave him little time to adjust before beginning to move, moving Spencer’s entire body as he fucked the smaller man.

I smiled at Emily, “Want to see a fun gag?”

She nodded and I got off the bed, moving to my drawer and pulling out a gag, with a dildo pointing out of each end of the gag ball. I walked back around to Spencer, who immediately opened his mouth to accept the gag. When it was fully in his mouth, I clipped it around his head, then laying down, aligning the other dildo with me entrance, and he pushed it into me.

“Your turn.” I said to Emily, who immediately understood, moving to straddle my face.

Every time Morgan thrust into Reid, the dildo thrust into me, making me move against Emily’s pussy. I pushed my tongue inside of her, finding her sweet spot, and teasing her with my mouth.

“Fuck, his ass is tight,” Morgan grunted, “Such a good little slut, pleasuring your daddy and your mistress.”

Spencer moaned at the praise.

“You like that, sexy whore? You like knowing you’re making us feel so good?” Emily said, making Spencer moan louder.

Those vibrations went straight to my core, making me groan against Emily.

“I’m about to cum in this slut’s pretty ass,” Morgan groaned.

I pulled Emily off for a second, “He’s being good, he can cum when you do.”

Spencer hummed in thanks, then began moaning as Morgan started stroking him. I worked faster on Emily, knowing I was close, and wanting us to all cum together.

“Fuck, I’m so close, such a good little slut.” Morgan groaned, “So close.”

I took one hand off Emily’s hips and pulled Spencer’s hair, knowing he’d tense and clench around Morgan.

“Oh, fuck!” Morgan moaned, “Cum, cum with me.”

We all did. I bucked my hips against Spencer as Emily came on my face. I heard Spencer and Morgan moaning. We all stayed still for a second, then Emily moved off me and I sat up, unclipping the gag and slowly taking it out of Spencer’s mouth. Morgan was already tying off his condom.

Spencer moved to put his head in my lap, and I pet his hair gently. Morgan and Emily both laid down.

“Well, damn.” Said Morgan, and we all laughed.

“That’s not even as intense as it gets,” I responded, “It gets even better.” Reid hummed in agreement and nuzzled against me. I smiled down at him, “My good baby.”

“I’d like to do more of this some time, if you ever want.” Emily smiled. “That was great.”

“If y’all want, me and Spence can take the couch tonight,” I offered, knowing an orgasm high and driving wasn’t the safest idea.

Emily immediately turned us down, “No need, I’m close by and this is your house.”

“Yeah, we’ll be okay,” Morgan agreed, “You two can sleep in your own bed.”

“Are you sure?” Reid murmured, half-asleep already.

They both assured us they would be okay going home, and I got up to help them both out. I gave them chaste kisses on the way out, waved, and padded back to the bedroom, turning off the light, grabbing a nightshirt, and getting into bed next to Spencer.

“Thank you,” he hummed, “I really liked that.”

“Of course, Spence,” I pulled him close, “Anything for you.” I kissed him, and he nuzzled into me.

“G’night.” He whispered, already fading away to sleep.

“Night, Spencer.” I answered, “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops


	23. Shopping For Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go shopping with Jenna for something.

“Hey Jenna!” I said, “When are you available this week?”

“I’ve got Wednesdays and Saturdays off, why?” She responded, “Do you need me? I can do most mornings, too.”

“Let’s do Saturday,” I responded, “I’m in Oregon right now for a case but I should be back my then.”

“Sounds good! Do I get to know what we’re doing?” She asked.

“Shopping.”

“Yes! I’ve been meaning to get a couple new outfits. Sounds wonderful! See you then.” _Click_. She hung up.

“Do I get to know what you’re shopping for?” Spencer asked. Emily was also looking at me.

“It’s just a shopping trip with my friend, calm down,” I teased, “Don’t worry, we won’t do anything too raunchy.”

“Okay, you two,” Rossi chided from the front seat, “Focus on the case, please?”

***

I drove to Jenna’s apartment on Saturday and she was waiting outside, in a more casual dress and converse.

“Alright, where are we going first?” She asked.

I smiled, “Be patient, young padawan, it’s a surprise.”

“Fine,” she slumped down in her chair, “How are you and Spencer, by the way?”

“Really good, he moved in about two months ago and we finally got all his books unpacked,” I laughed, “Between cases and getting distracted easily it took a while.”

“I remember when Elle and I moved in together, it’s a process. Worth it, though!”

“Agreed.” Waking up to Spencer every day was worth all of it.

I pulled into a shopping mall and parked.

Jenna looked around, “Well, this is upper-class.”

I shrugged, “Just come on!”

She followed me as we passed the clothing shops, makeup outlets, and stopped at a…

“No. Fucking. Way.” Jenna said. “Engagement rings?”

I couldn’t contain my smile anymore, “I want to propose to Spencer, and I need your help picking a ring.”

She giggled and pulled me into a hug, “Are you serious? You’re going to pop the question?”

I nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, ever since he moved it and… we’ve talked about marriage and kids and all of it and I think we’re ready.” I broke out in a huge smile, “I’m planning on proposing to Spencer Reid!”

We walked inside and a sales associate greeted us. Jenna obviously didn’t know what to expect, so she was dressed much more casually than most of their clientele, but she didn’t seem fazed. “How can I help you two?”

“I want to propose to my boyfriend,” I said, still shocking myself a little with the statement.

“Congratulations! What kind of ring are you looking for? And who’s the lucky man?”

I’d already decided, “I’m looking for a round-cut ring mounted with four double tip prongs, a double twist mounting, and side stones of alternating red and blue sapphires, a scroll side carving, and set in yellow or rose gold.” I rattled off, then held up a picture, “This is Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Both Jenna and the associate were surprised.

“Oh! Well, okay, you’re one of the easier ones then. He’s very handsome, by the way. All you need to give me is carat weight and decide on the color. Unfortunately, we don’t have any red and blue sapphire alternating rings here, but I can order one for you.” The associate responded, “Or we have rings to that specification with only blue sapphires if you want to see those.”

“I’d like to see the all blue ones, please.” I answered, and she walked away.

Jenna turned to me, “Well damn! Someone did their research! What do you need me for?”

“Deciding on color, and the second part of the engagement.” I answered.

Jenna looked confused, but the associate was approaching again, “Here we are, I’ve got them in both yellow and rose. What size are you looking for?”

“Eight.” She pulled two rings out, one in rose gold and one in yellow, and I turned to Jenna. “Thoughts?”

“I’m a sucker for rose gold, but you know that,” she said, holding up her rose gold wedding band, “White gold is more common for engagements, but it’s up to you.”

I looked back at them, then asked to try them on, “I know I’m going to end up stealing it just because it’s so beautiful, so…” I slid them both on. I was a size seven, so his fingers were only a little bigger than mine.

“I wish I could ask Spencer for help,” I groaned, “The one thing I can’t!”

The associate laughed, “We actually hear that a lot. ‘I want to ask my girlfriend! Oh, wait.’”

I bit my lip, looking down at the rings, “Can you hold these for me? I promise I’ll come back I just want to think about it.”

She nodded, “I will hold them for up to 48 hours, just give me your driver’s license so we can ID you when you return.”

I handed her the card and Jenna poked me, “What’s the other part of the engagement?”

“Take a guess, Sir!” I answered in a low tone.

Her eyes went wide with understanding.

“There you go! See you ladies later.” She waved us out.

***

I decided on the yellow gold ring and left with the box concealed in my purse, along with my other purchase. Jenna and I then went on a shopping spree to disguise our purchases. (Also, who doesn’t love a shopping spree?)

I drove her home and she leaned over to kiss my cheek, “You have to call me as soon as you do it.”

“Promise,” I held up my pinky.

She linked hers with it, “Have fun, lover girl.”

I laughed as she walked away and drove home.

Spencer arrived a few minutes after I did, eyes widening at the bags of clothing and other things I’d brought home.

“Jenna and I kind of went overboard,” I smiled.

 _Especially on your ring._ But I couldn’t say that yet.

“Uh, yeah, I’d say so,” he laughed, stepping around the bags to kiss me, “Did you have fun?”

I nodded, “It’s been a while since we just went shopping. It was really nice.”

He sat next to me, dropping his bag, “So Rossi invited the team out to dinner tonight, what do you think? It’s been a while since we’ve been out with everyone.”

“Sounds great!” I said, “It’s definitely been too long, but I seriously need a shower first. Come with?” I stood and offered my hand.

“Gladly.”

***

 **_Message from: Rossi  
_ ** **All set for tonight?**

 **_Message to: Rossi  
_ ** **Ready. See you soon.**

***

It was late into the night by the time we’d finished our meal, sharing stories and drinks over dessert and enjoying each other’s company.

“Okay, I still think the most iconic moment of BAU history is Garcia’s ‘Or what, you’ll spank me?’” Morgan laughed.

Penelope sighed, “You told me to behave, what did you expect?”

“You to behave!” We all chorused, then devolved into laughter.

“Alright, I’d like to make a toast.” Morgan said, standing up, “To me and Garcia, the second most iconic couple of the BAU.” He winked at me and Spencer.

We all raised our glasses and drank, and Morgan sat down again next to me.

I leaned over, “Are we just going to forget you, me, Em, and Spence?”

He almost choked on his drink.

“What, you can dish it out, but you can’t take it?” I teased, snorting when he flipped me off, “Real mature, Morgan.”

“To the best team I could’ve come out of retirement for!” Rossi said, and we all cheered.

JJ raised her glass, “To my second- or first, depending on how you count- family.”

“To the people I died for,” Emily began, “And then undid my death for.”

“We still haven’t forgiven you for that.” I answered.

“To the best team, and the best friends, anyone could ask for.” Hotch smiled at us, “I love you all.”

“To being the reason those sexual harassment seminars happen so often!” Garcia laughed, “And having no regrets about it.”

We all gave pointed looks at Morgan, then drank.

That left Spencer and me.

Spencer took a deep breath, “To my family, my friends, my support network, my wonderful girlfriend, and not dying because of all of you.”

We all cheered at that.

“To the people that have taught me to live my life to its fullest, pushed me to be the best version of myself, and given me the opportunity to fall in love.” I said, one hand holding the wine glass while the other stayed clasped around the box in my pocket, “And to this.”

I pushed my seat back, set my wineglass down, and knelt down, pulling out the box.

“Doctor Spencer Reid,” I said, barely able to choke the words out, “Will you marry me?”

Everyone except Rossi gasped, and I could see tears forming in his eyes.

“(Y/N)…” he began, “You have the worst timing ever.” He reached into his own pocket and pulled out a ring, and I broke down crying, while the rest of the table cooed and laughed.

I looked at Rossi, “Did you know about this?”

He shrugged, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“My turn,” Spencer said, getting down on one knee in front of me, “Will you marry me?”

I almost broke down in laughter, “Yes, Spencer, I will marry you.”

We pulled out the rings at the same time and I couldn’t help but laugh. His was a single-twist, rose gold, red sapphire circle cut- the other design I’d considered. I held out my hand and he slipped it on, then I did the same with him.

“I thought about getting one almost exactly like this,” He laughed.

“Great minds think alike!” Emily called.

I stood up and embraced Spencer, tears of joy streaming down my face. “I love you so much, Spencer.”

“I love you too, (Y/N).” He whispered, then leaned back to kiss me.

Morgan wolf whistled, but I didn’t care. _Spencer frickin Reid_ has just proposed to me. We broke apart and I hugged him again.

“Alright, mazel tov, step on the glass already,” Hotch teased. “Congratulations.”

Rossi was practically beaming and everyone else was smiling as we sat back down, Spencer leaning his head on my shoulder.

_I’m engaged to Spencer Reid._

_Spencer Reid loves me._

***

When we got home, I couldn’t stop kissing Spencer, but then I remembered my other present.

“Oh! I got you something else!” I said, running to my purse and finding the box. “I know you’ve had your other one for a while, but…”

I opened the box to reveal a simple chain collar with a lock and single key. Engraved on the lock:

_Mistress’s Property  
My Love_

He immediately dropped to his knees, hands fiddling with his collar to take it off.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“I just proposed to you, I’m very sure.” He answered, “I want to be yours. Forever.”

“I love you.” I said, placing the collar around his neck and locking it, then pulling out a matching chain to put the key on, hanging it around my neck.

“I love you too.” His eyes were full of something that I’d rarely seen before: Hope.

_I’m going to get married to Spencer Reid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I soft?  
> Yes


	24. This Is The Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go on a new case and put yourself in potential danger, again.

I woke up to see Spencer curled against my chest, sleeping softly, hands bunched in my shirt. I ran my hands through his hair, trying to move as little as possible to let him sleep. The ring he’d chosen was perfect, of course, and I couldn’t stop staring at it. He grunted and shifted but seemed to stay asleep. I continued playing with his hair. My mind was racing with memories of last night and thoughts about the wedding. His smile when I’d knelt, his laugh when he pulled out his ring…

“G’morning,” Spencer mumbled, face half-buried in my chest.

I smiled, “Morning, my beautiful fiancé.”

His face lit up, “We’re engaged!”

I nodded and kissed him, “We’re going to get married.”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him, pulling me close to him, “My beautiful fiancée.”

I giggled and sighed, nuzzling into his chest, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he replied, “So, so much.”

I sat up, “Okay, I have to know.” He raised an eyebrow as I continued, “Did you ask Rossi to set up a dinner last night so you could propose to me with the team?”

Spencer nodded, “Did you?”

“Yeah, I knew I was going to get the ring with Jenna and wanted to propose as soon as possible,” I laughed, “I didn’t trust myself to keep it a secret.”

“When I heard you were shopping with Jenna, I started looking at rings, I told her to keep you out of the house for a couple hours.”

“So, she knew and didn’t tell either of us?” I sighed, amused, “Of course she did.”

We both laughed, and I curled up around Spencer, “I love you, Spencer Reid.”

“I love you too, future Mrs. Reid.”

I sat up at that, “Nope. Nu-uh. I am keeping my last name.”

“What?” he asked, “No, I like the sound of Mrs. Reid.”

“And I like not being defined by my relationship with a man,” I shot back.

He sighed, “Okay, that’s fair, but… Think about it?”

“I’ll consider it,” I nodded, “But I’m not promising anything.”

***

I sat next to Emily on the plane while Spencer discussed the case with Hotch.

“So, he wants you to take his last name?” She asked, “Seriously? I wouldn’t have expected that from Reid.”

I shrugged, “He just wants me to think about it. And I think he likes the idea of me being ‘Mrs. Reid’, which I can’t really disagree with.”

“It does sound cute, but it’s up to you,” she reminded me, “You are technically the one who proposed, who says he shouldn’t take your name?”

Clearly, Spencer was at least half-listening, because he called across the plane, “You want to go through the stress of changing the name on all my degrees? Be my guest.”

“I have several degrees too!” I reminded him.

He held up three fingers, “Three PhDs, sweetie.”

I flipped him off, and he blew me a kiss.

“Ah, domestic bliss,” Rossi teased.

I glared at him, “Like you would know.”

“Okay, you three, calm down,” Hotch chided, “Any ideas on the case?”

“It’s a classic impotent kidnapper,” I shrugged, “Sexual assault with a knife, ligature marks that look like zip ties or something similar, so he doesn’t have resources or space for tying them up more securely. Scalp was red and sore, so he probably pulled it, maybe as a trophy.”

“How does he get them away from their groups though?” JJ asked, “They were all last seen out drinking with friends.”

“Bartender or bouncer?” Emily suggested, “Someone trustworthy, but no one really notices them.”

“Okay, so we’ve got a 30-50-year-old bouncer or bartender who zip ties and penetrates his victims with a knife, then disposes of them in the same place every time in a random back alley.” I summarized, “Great, that narrows our suspect pool not at all. It’s Vegas, there’s an unlimited number of bouncers and bartenders. Even with a geographic profile, we’re looking at hundreds of people.”

Spencer cut in, “Not if we can narrow it down to only a few establishments. And we can use security camera footage to narrow it down, and shift schedules- disappearing early would be too noticeable.”

“How do you suggest narrowing it down?” Morgan asked.

“Figure out where the victims went.” Reid answered, “They’re victims of opportunity, so the unsub would have most likely seen them on the job. Garcia?”

“Right here, pretty boy.” She called from the computer.

“Search for any overlap between places the groups of girls went.” He prompted.

“Working, and…” we heard typing in the background, “Nothing.”

“Check bouncer and bartender staff lists for overlap,” I said, “They might work multiple jobs on a rotating schedule.”

“That’s going to take longer, sweetie,” she replied, “A lot of these people are paid under the table, I’ll have to pull a couple strings. I’ll get back to you when I find something. Later!” She hung up.

“Good thinking,” Hotch praised, “Reid, Morgan, JJ, I want you to go to the dump site. Rossi, Emily, I want you at the precinct talking to the families. (Y/N), continue with that employee angle, get me a list of possible suspects and narrow it down from there.”

“Do we want officers posted at the dump site?” Rossi asked.

He shook his head, “No, I want hidden cameras but no officers. He’s probably already noticed and will switch dump sites, but we don’t want to risk it on the off chance he hasn’t.” He looked around at us, “I want to give the profile as soon as we land, and make sure we narrow that suspect list quickly.”

We all nodded.

***

“Suspect is most likely between 30 and 50 years old, we suspect he is a bartender or bouncer. Someone the girls will trust enough to walk away from their group for.” I explained, “He’s impotent, so probably not dating, has a history of failed relationships, and most likely has anger issues.”

“Our technical analyst is working on creating a list of suspects.” Hotch continued, “He will work multiple shifts at different establishments, and gets off around the time of the disappearance.”

My phone started ringing, and I walked to our meeting room, “Talk to me, Garcia.”

“I’ve got a list, but you’re not going to like how long it is.” She reported, “Multiple jobs are way to common, even narrowing it down to the places these girls went to.”

“And the age range?” I asked.

“I can cut out a couple people in their 20’s, but that’s about it.” She answered, “We’re still looking at around 40 people, and we don’t have that kind of time, given his timeline.”

I groaned, sitting down and staring at the board with the women, “What do you have on the relationship front?”

She clicked her tongue, “Okay, honey, I am not spending hours combing through their social media trying to figure out what’s up with that.”

“Okay, let’s change tack,” I said, “Take out anyone without a car, and small houses or apartments, somewhere where space is a minimum.”

“Okay,” typing could be heard in the background, “I’ve got it down to 20, anything else?”

“Check credit card records. Zip ties, a lot of them, they break easily, and he wouldn’t want to run out.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere!” She exclaimed, “Okay, I’ve got 30-50, crosses over between all the women, small living space, and a recent uptick in zip tie purchases.” She typed furiously in the background, “I’ve got 5.”

“Send me their information, we’ll bring them in.” I said.

“Three of them are working right now.” She said.

“It’s midday!”

She laughed, “Yes, but people like day drinking there, sweetie. I’m sending you home and work addresses.”

“You’re a miracle worker!” I said, then hung up.

I looked up to see Hotch walk in, “Anything?”

“We narrowed it down to 5, I figured a small living space and lots of zip ties.” I answered, “3 are working right now, so I say send Reid, Morgan, and JJ to those and we’ll take the residences.”

He nodded, “Sounds good, get Garcia to send them the information and we’ll go.”

***

 **_Message from: Spencer  
_ ** **I swear if you go into an unsub’s house alone, I will smack you**

**_Message to: Spencer  
_ ** **First of all, right back at you.**   
**Second, where? ;)**

“Okay, this is Regan Wayne’s house,” Hotch said, parking, “Rossi, you’re on the front door with me, I want you two at the back in case he runs.”

We all nodded, and Emily and I skirted around back.

“I’m covering you,” she muttered, “Because Spencer will have my ass if you get hurt again.”

“I dunno, you might like it.” I teased.

She glared at me.

We heard pounding footsteps inside the house, then a loud _THUD_. We opened the door and ran inside to find Hotch kneeling on Wayne’s back, cuffing him.

“Regan Wayne, you’re under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of-“ Hotch began.

“I didn’t do it!” He yelled, “I swear to you, I didn’t, but I can tell you who did.”

I kept my gun trained at his head, “Then tell us. Now.”

“Turner Yates, he worked the shifts when the victims were there and I think I saw him walk off with them,” he answered, “He left his shift a few minutes early, I didn’t think about it until I heard about the girls.”

I pulled out my phone and looked at the list, “Shit, they’re at his work now.”

Hotch looked up at us, “Go. We’ve got Wayne.”

I nodded and sprinted out of the house, Emily behind me. I threw myself into the driver’s seat and began frantically pulling up directions.

“I’ve got directions, you call them,” Emily said, and I nodded and began driving, hitting Reid’s number.

It rang for a few seconds, then, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Turner Yates.” I answered, “He’s the unsub, I’m on my way with Emily now.”

“The staff said they haven’t seen him all day, he’s a no call, no show,” Spencer said, “Do you have his home address?”

“I’ve got it.” Emily cut in, “Make a left here.”

“Garcia has the address, meet us there.” I said, “I love you.”

“Love you too.” He hung up.

“Right!” Emily yelled, and I jerked the steering wheel.

“One more left, he’s the first house.” She said, “They’re too far away, we need to go in.”

“This feels too familiar.” I muttered, throwing the car into park and running towards the small shack of a house.

“If he runs, you stay.”

We stood on either side of the door, Emily nodded, and I kicked in the door, “Turner Yates! FBI! You’re under arrest!”

I turned to other side, seeing a young girl zip tied at her hands and ankles, clearly terrified.

“Where did he go?” I asked.

She jerked her head to the back of the house, and Emily walked past me, clearing the halls.

“Basement!” I called, seeing a step of stairs, running down it.

It was a small room and he had no place to hide.

“Turner Yates?” I asked, approaching.

“They wanted to come with me, I swear,” he said, “They liked me, and I couldn’t do anything and I got so angry…”

“I know, but you didn’t have to kill them.” I said slowly.

He shook his head, “They were laughing! I could see how _funny_ they thought it was, I couldn’t do anything, and it was infuriating.”

“Just put your hands up and turn around and we can talk. You don’t need to hurt anyone else.” My voice was calm, despite my inner terror.

“No,” he muttered, “No! You’re laughing too, aren’t you? You think it’s funny that I killed them.”

I heard Emily come down the stairs behind me but continued my calm tone. “I don’t think it’s funny, I think you overreacted to an embarrassing situation, but those women trusted you, Turner.”

“They’re nothing. Specks of dust.” He spat, “And they laughed.”

“I’m not laughing.” I said, “I believe you. I think you did what you thought was right, and I just need to cuff you so we can take you to the station and get a statement.”

He nodded, “A statement? I did the right thing?”

I wanted to vomit at my own words, “Yes, just a statement. The handcuffs are just a formality.” I slowly put my gun away and pulled out the cuffs, dangling them off one finger.

“Okay. Just a statement.” He muttered, turning around, “Just a statement.”

I walked forward and cuffed him, “Turner Yates, you’re under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of Myra West, Mallory Ian, Diana Shaw, and Barbara Peters.”

He began struggling as I recited his rights, but I managed to get him upstairs, where squad cars were already waiting, and Reid was watching a paramedic tend to the girl.

I knelt down, “Hi, I’m really sorry we didn’t help you earlier.”

“It’s okay,” her voice was hoarse, “I’m just glad you got him.”

“How long have you been here?” I asked.

She shrugged, “A day or two? Not long.”

“You’re a lucky woman,” the paramedic said, “Mostly minor injuries, and the cuts from the ties will heal quickly. Do you think you can walk out to the ambulance?”

She nodded and the paramedic helped her up and out.

“You went after him alone.” Spencer said. His voice left no room for questions.

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Emily muttered, “Have fun, you two.”

I almost wanted to laugh, “You really want to do this right now? He had a girl tied up and I talked him down, he didn’t even have a weapon. I’m fine and he’s in custody.”

“What if he ran?”

“Then I would have pursued him,” I answered, “You know that.”

“I don’t like knowing you’re in danger.” He sighed, leaning against a wall.

I snorted, “And you think I do? You were at his work, I thought you were in danger and I was freaking out, Reid!” I was close to shouting now, but I didn’t care, “You’re in danger too, we all are in this job, and you could get hurt just as easily as me, so don’t play that damn card. This is the job, Spencer, and you know that.”

“You got shot!” He snapped.

“And you got kidnapped,” I answered, “And ended up with a serious addiction, and recently disappeared for two days, thanks for that by the way.”

“That’s different,” he began.

I cut him off, “No, it isn’t. This care thing goes both ways, I was worried about you, but we can’t let that get in the way of catching these bastards.”

“I just can’t imagine not going home with you,” his voice was softer, “Not again.”

“Spence,” I held up the hand with my ring, “I will always go home at the end of the day with you.”

He held up a pinky finger, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Promise?” He whispered.

I latched my finger around his, giving him a kiss, “I promise.”


	25. The Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More cases, more mess ups

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, “You don’t have to come.”

“She’s your mother, Spence,” I said, “I want to meet her.”

He fidgeted with his bag, “She’s… not normal.”

“She’s in a mental ward. Thanks.” I looked at him. “I want to meet your mother.”

He nodded and led me in, greeting the clerk cheerfully and checking us in.

“She’s upstairs, as normal,” the woman said, and Spencer led me up.

He greeted a few doctors and nurses on the way, and we ended up in front of a set of double doors. He took a breath and pushed it open, and I followed. He led me to a corner by a window, where a woman sat, staring out it.

“Mom?” He said.

She looked up and smiled, “Spencer! Why are you here?”

“We had a case, remember? I wrote you about it.” He said, kneeling next to her chair.

She nodded, then noticed me, “Who’s this? You look familiar.”

“This is (Y/N), my fiancée,” he said, “I sent you pictures.”

“You’re that wonderful girl he gushes about!” she said, “Come here! I want to see the ring he chose.”

I walked forward, offering my hand.

“Oh, Spencer,” she said, “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful, darling.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” I smiled.

“Spencer said you proposed to him first?” She asked.

I laughed, “Yes, ma’am, we actually planned to propose at the same time, I just beat him to it.”

“Don’t call me ma’am, it makes me feel old,” she grumbled, “Well, show me your ring, Spencer!”

He held out his hand.

“You have good taste in men and rings,” She praised me.

Spencer and I took seats next to her and started talking. She was a little spacey but seemed to know a lot about me and the team as a whole. I knew Spencer wrote to his mother, but not this much. I mostly just looked at him, he was a little unfocused, eyes glazing over as he rubbed his arm.

“You have to fly me out for the wedding,” She said, interrupting my thoughts, “I haven’t seen Spencer in anything but a sweater for years!”

I laughed, “He’s not wearing a sweater to the wedding.”

Spencer made an exaggerated pout, making us both laugh.

We hadn’t talked about the wedding too much yet, but she was excited, giving us advice on everything from food to flowers and venue.

Eventually, we had to leave to catch the plane.

“I’ll write again soon, mom,” Spencer said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Good.” She said, then turned to me, “Keep him in line for me, and don’t forget that invitation!”

I nodded, “I’ll make sure to personally address it.”

Spencer took my hand as we walked out, “She really likes you.”

“What’s not to like?” I asked.

He dropped his voice, “So, are you going to keep me in line?”

Once we were out of the room, I reached up, looping one finger around his collar to kiss him, “Always. And don’t you forget it.”

***

We drove home in relative silence. I parked the car, and Spencer walked inside as I got both our bags and walked in. I dropped them by the door, started to walk to the bedroom, then hesitated, electing to sort the laundry and throw a load of our clothes in before walking back.

Spencer was waiting, facing the bed, kneeling. He’d kept his clothes on. I walked forward and perched lightly on the end of the bed, facing him. He kept his eyes trained on the floor.

“You need to be good for me, don’t you?” I asked.

He nodded, “Yes, ma’am.”

“But you don’t want to be sexual?”

“Is,” he hesitated, “Is that okay, ma’am?”

“Of course, Spencer,” I said, reaching forward to run my hands through his hair, “Do you want to talk about it?”

He sighed, relaxing into my hand, “I’m sorry for getting mad at you, mistress.”

“You’re trying to take care of me,” I continued my movements, “You saw me get hurt once and you don’t want it to happen again.”

“I just want to protect you,” he whispered.

“That doesn’t mean you can control what I do,” my tone was harsher, “You need to remember that I’m my own person and I make my own decisions. Just because we’re engaged doesn’t mean either of us have control over the other in the field.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I wrapped my finger around his collar, “Come here.”

He shifted forward to look up at me, head leaning against my leg.

“I love you so much, Spencer,” I said, “And I appreciate you want to protect me, and I love that about you, and I also love this part of you that submits to me and can be vulnerable and honest. Maybe try and show this part of you a little more in the field?”

He bit his lip, not knowing what to say.

“Just remember that I’m not going to stop what I do.” I asked.

He nodded, “I’ll try.”

“I have some wedding planning to do, so you’re going to stay on your knees while I do that.” I said, standing up, “You’re going to be good and stay quiet unless I ask you something.”

He nodded.

I walked over to my bag and grabbed my computer. We’d begun some basic wedding planning, but Spencer honestly sucked at it- he spent more time rattling off statistics about marriage failures, the cost of weddings, and anything possible relating to it instead of making decisions, so I’d learned to ask him direct questions about specific items. I worked in silence for a while, continuing with the themes we’d discussed, enjoying having Spencer lean against my leg. I could tell how calm he was, just focusing on keeping quiet and still.

“Spencer?” I asked, and he looked up, “Do you want to get married in Vegas?”

He looked surprised.

“It would make it easier for your mother, but it’s also more expensive,” I explained.

“I thought we were looking at the Smithsonian,” he said quietly.

“We are, I’m working on it, I just wanted to double check since your mom is so excited.” I assured him, “You really want the Smithsonian, don’t you?”

He nodded.

“Okay, I’ll email them again.” I said, and he dropped his eyes, leaning back into my leg.

There really wasn’t that much I could do until I had confirmation on dates from the museum, and I wanted to finalize the guest list with Spencer before we went any further, but I continued looking at color schemes and wedding dresses before closing my computer.

Spencer moved as I stood up to put my computer away, then walked back to him. “Stand up.”

He did and I moved to begin unbuttoning his shirt. His hands moved up to help me, but I stopped him.

“Did I tell you to move?” I said sharply.

“No, ma’am,” he dropped his hands, “I’m sorry.”

I continued unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it off, slowly continuing to undress him as he waited. When he was only in his boxers, I grabbed a sweatshirt and helped him put it on. When he was dressed, I pulled his collar down, making him kneel again, and got myself ready for bed. His breath was slow and controlled, but I could tell something was wrong.

“Spencer,” I said, kneeling to be at his eye level, “What’s going on?”

He bit his lip, clearly hiding something.

My voice was more harsh, “Spencer.”

“There were painkillers at the unsub’s house,” he whispered, “A lot of them.”

_Shit._

“Did you take any?” I asked.

He didn’t answer.

“Answer me, Spence.”

He nodded.

_Double shit._

“Have you taken any?” My voice was barely a whisper, and I was scared of the answer.

I could tell he was about to cry, “Before we visited my mom… I thought it would help.”

_How could I have missed the signs?_

“And-“ his voice caught, “Again on the plane.”

“Come here, Spencer,” I pulled him into my arms, “Let it out, you’re okay.”

He began shaking and sobbing, clinging to my shirt as he cried. I shushed him and rocked him back and forth gently. He didn’t stop for a long time, every time he began to calm down he just began crying again. I just stayed in place, holding him close and letting him cry.

“Are you,” he choked out, “Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not,” I said, “You’re healing and it’s a hard process, and relapses aren’t uncommon, I would never be mad at you.”

“You’re not going to leave?” He asked.

“Never,” I whispered, “I proposed to you knowing what all the risks were.”

“But…” he was shaking, “This isn’t what you wanted.”

“I want you, Spencer. All of you.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t stop repeating that until he fell asleep. I stayed awake, holding him.


	26. New Beginnings

Spencer woke up a few times throughout the night, and he didn’t sleep well, but I didn’t care. I kept him close and soothed him.

When he woke up again in the morning, staying awake, he was groggy, “Why are we on the floor?”

“You fell asleep crying last night,” I said, “I didn’t want to move you, we just stayed here.”

“I- I told you about the Dilaudid, didn’t I?” He asked, not looking at me.

“Yes, you did,” I fought to keep my voice neutral, “And it’s something that we’re going to work on, together.”

His hands were still balled up in my shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Spencer. You have your issues. I don’t blame you for that.” I said, “And I’m glad you told me.”

He didn’t respond.

“Will you tell me where it is?” I didn’t expect him to answer.

He shifted anxiously, “Hidden side pocket of my bag, along with needles. Please don’t get rid of it.”

“If I get rid of it will that help you or do you need the comfort of knowing you have access?”

“I want to know it’s there,” he whispered, “Can you hold onto it?”

“Sure, Spence,” I said, “Anything you need.”

He let go of my shirt, “Can you make coffee?”

“Are you okay here?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he shifted away, “I want to change clothes.”

I nodded, kissing him, then walked to the kitchen. I grabbed his bag, quickly finding the small bottles and needles, then stowing them in a pouch in my bag. Then I got up to make coffee, listening carefully to make sure Spencer was okay.

He walked into the coffee, wearing one of my shirts, an old one that I mostly used for sleeping or days when I didn’t want to get dressed.

I turned, “Come here, Spencer.”

He walked forward and I pushed myself up onto the counter, wrapping my arms and legs around him and kissing him. He responded happily and eagerly, pulling me close to him. When I broke off the kiss to tease his neck, he hummed and nuzzled into my shoulder, then began biting and sucking gently.

He groaned and pulled me closer, “It’s been way too long.”

He was right. We hadn’t been together at all over the past week or so, with the case and everything else, and we’d developed a habit of having sex much more often than that.

“Are you sober?” I asked.

“Just a little crying headache,” he said, “I’m completely sober, I promise.”

I nodded. I had thought so, but I had to make sure.

His hands slipped between my legs as I kissed his neck, making me gasp and grind forward. His fingers moved quickly and skillfully, but I focused on sucking marks into his neck.

“Want to fuck you,” he groaned, “I want to be in you.”

“Do it. Fuck me, Spencer.” I answered.

His hands moved away to pull down his boxers, stroking himself a few times as I shifted forward. He leaned forward to kiss me as he lined up and pushed into me, making me moan against his mouth. We were both desperate and his hips were jerky and fast, hands gripping my hips and nails digging into my skin.

“Spencer,” I groaned against his mouth, “Fuck, you feel so good.”

One of his hands moved away from my hips and began teasing my clit.

“Ah! Fuck, Spence,” I moaned, “Yes.”

“You feel so fucking good around me,” he responded, “Clenching around my cock.”

His dirty talking voice, rough and deep, was amazing. I moaned and dug my nails into his back.

“You’re going to make me cum,” I gasped, “Fuck, right there, don’t stop.”

“Cum around me.” He said, and I did, but his movements didn’t stop.

“Fuck! Yes, right there, so fucking good,” I moaned, pushing my hips forward.

He pulled me into another kiss, fingers continuing their circles around my clit and hips pushing in and out of me with increasing desperation and speed. My nails were digging into his back, lips pushed against him and tongue swirling around his. He pulled away, groaning.

“I’m about to cum,” he panted.

I knew I was getting close to. “I- fuck- cum in me, Spencer, cum.”

His hips pounded into me, pushing his cock inside of me and his hips jerked as we came together. I loved the feeling of him cumming inside of me. We both panted as he pulled out of me. I kept my arms wrapped around him, kissing him gently.

“I love you.” He hummed, “So, so much.”

I held up my hand, showing off my ring, “I couldn’t tell.”

He held up his, “It’s very unclear. You should remind me again.”

“I love you.” I kissed down his neck, then kissed him again, “Will you marry me?”

“I will absolutely marry you.” He answered.

“Oh, good, I was worried.” I laughed.

***

We spent the day relaxing together. I didn’t want to bring up the Dilaudid again until he was ready, and he seemed content to be with me. I tried to be subtle checking in on him and not letting him out of my sight, but he had clearly noticed. I wasn’t going to stop though.

When we climbed into bed that night, he curled into my chest and gripped my shirt. I smiled, wrapped my arms around him, and stayed awake all night again, just to make sure he was okay. I may have drifted off a few times, but I couldn’t let myself relax enough to fully fall asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, I was looking down at him, smiling, trying to pretend I’d slept.

“Hey,” he said groggily, “Morning.”

“Morning.” I answered.

“You didn’t sleep, did you?” He asked.

I tried to lie, “No, I did.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Really? Because the bags under your eyes are saying otherwise.”

“I’m okay, Spencer,” I shrugged, “Really. Don’t worry about me, I can function on less than a full night of sleep.”

“You didn’t sleep last night either,” his tone was very matter-of-fact, “You can’t just do that to yourself.”

“I need to make sure you’re okay. I can handle myself.”

“I know this is about the Dilaudid, but you can’t sacrifice yourself for me.” He refused to look at me.

I sighed, sitting back, “It’s not a sacrifice. It’s just protecting you.”

He knew the conversation was going nowhere, and just settled against me again. I kept running my hands through his hair, lost in my own thoughts. I knew it was irresponsible of me to stay awake, but I couldn’t bear the thought of letting Spencer be alone or have the opportunity to find the drugs.

“Did you tell Hotch?” He said, making me jump.

“No,” I answered, “That’s up to you. I know and I’m going to help you, and I’ll help you get professional help if you get worse, but I’m not telling him without your permission.”

He nodded, “Thank you.”

We fell silent again.

“Can we work on wedding planning?”

I smiled. I’d been waiting for him to ask. “Of course, let me grab my computer.”

I stood up and walked over to my computer, then settled down next to Spencer as I opened up my folder full of spreadsheets and information.

“I told you I’m still working on an email back from the Smithsonian, but we can talk about dates as soon as they get back to me.” I said, “We should talk about color schemes and table settings. Also, we need to decide who’s in the wedding party.”

“The entire team,” his answer was immediate, “And Jenna. I don’t really feel the need to have a best man.”

I nodded, entering all of the information into my planning sheet, “That does make an imbalance in the gender ratio.”

“What about Will?”

“I forgot about Will!” I smacked my head, “Absolutely. That gives us four and four.” Spencer suddenly started laughing, and I raised an eyebrow, “Spence, would you like to share with the class?”

“Jenna and Hotch talking.” He managed to say between laughs, “Jenna cannot watch her mouth. At all.”

I groaned, “Don’t put that in my head. I don’t want to consider Jenna spilling all our secrets.”

He continued laughing, “We can’t even gag her.”

I slapped his arm, “Spencer!” I knew it was funny, but at the same time I didn’t want to think about that.

He finally stopped laughing, “Oh, that’s going to be hilarious.”

“I’m not thinking about that anymore,” I shook my head, “No thank you. Let’s just talk about color schemes.”

“Blood red,” he said immediately.

I snorted, then tried to give him a mean look, “Spencer, we are not having a murder themed wedding.”

He made an exaggerated pout, “But why?” He tried to make puppy dog eyes.

“Because no thank you.” I said, “We both have veto power here, and I’m saying no murder theme.”

He groaned and pretended to be upset.

“You look good in blues and purples,” I said, “And lavender works well with my skin tone, how’s that?”

He nodded, “I still think we should consider blood red, but I’m okay with purple.”

I closed my computer and looked at him, “I thought we said bloodplay was off limits. I’m extending that to this.” I tried to keep my tone serious, but the idea was so absurd I couldn’t.

“Okay, that’s a fair point,” he smiled and kissed me, “Want to remind me what isn’t off limits?”

I hummed, moving to straddle him and kissing him, “Any time you want, Spence.” I reached forward, wrapping one finger around his collar. “There is something I want to talk about though.”

He looked up at me, “What?”

“How do you feel about having some kind of punishment for relapsing?” I asked, “It’s completely up to you, but if you think it might help…”

“What are you thinking?”

I bit my lip. I knew what I was suggesting might make it worse, “Removing your collar. Temporarily.”

He didn’t react, staring at my chest, thinking.

“It’s only if you want.” I said quickly, “I won’t ever bring it up again if you want.”

“I think it’s a good idea.” His voice was shaky. “It would keep me in line.”

“We won’t do it now, it’s obviously an arrangement for the future,” I reassured him.

He nodded, “Okay. That sounds okay.”

“Reid,” I whispered, putting my hand under his chin to make him look at me, “Color?”

“Green.” He sounded more confident, “Like I said, it’s a good idea. The collar is so grounding, and it’s a mark of being yours. If I mess up, there should be ramifications, and I want to keep my collar on. I’ll fight to keep it on.”

I nodded, “Okay. Thank you.” I leaned forward and kissed him, keeping my hand around his collar.

“I love you,” he whispered against my lips, “I love you.” He repeated.

I hummed happily, “I love you too.” I ground my hips down against him, then moved off him, “We need to get coffee.”

***

My phone buzzed and I lit up, “Spencer!”

He rushed from the bedroom, hopping as he struggled to pull his pants on, “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” I was glowing, “I got an email from the Smithsonian.”

He stopped trying to pull his pants on and grabbed my phone, reading the entire email (I’d only read the first few lines) quickly. “Yes!!!” He grabbed me, pulling me into a kiss. “We’re going to get married at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History!”

I nodded, kissing him, “Your dream location and my dream man, sounds wonderful.”

“Damn, do we have to wait to consummate the marriage?” He asked, “That would suck.”

I laughed, “Spencer, I’ve fucked you in the ass.” His face turned red as I continued, “We’ve fucked in every room of this house and several rooms of other peoples’ houses. I think we’re way past consummation.”

“Phew,” he said, “I think I’d go crazy if I had to wait.”

I laughed, “Me too. Let’s go look at dates!”

He nodded, handing back my phone, both of us excited.


	27. Dresses and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go shopping and have a talk with Spencer

We managed to get a date only 10 months away, so everything had to move quickly. Between cases and planning, Spencer and I were constantly active, until even my dreams were full of spreadsheets and wedding plans. We’d had several long cases, but when I finally managed to have a couple days off, I dragged my bridesmaids out with me to find a wedding dress.

I tried on a few styles, deciding I liked a lace-up bodice (similar to my corset) and sweetheart neckline. We’d gone through a few skirt designs too, finally finding a beautiful princess skirt flaring out at my waist, but I refused to have a million layers of tulle. Instead, I found a circle skirt with only a couple layers on top, and no train.

“It’s tradition!” Garcia complained, “You have to have a train.”

“I can’t chase an unsub in a train.” I countered.

Emily laughed, “You think there’s going to be an unsub at your wedding?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I shrugged, “Remember that serial in Minneapolis who busted into weddings and killed everyone but the bride and groom? Yeah, no thanks.”

“Honey if a murderer comes into your wedding what makes you think you can stop him?” Jenna had one leg slung over the arm of her chair, sipping champagne.

“I’m going to have a gun strapped on my leg, and I’m not taking any chances.” I said firmly, “No train.”

“Okay, but you have to try tiaras.” Garcia said.

Jenna perked up, “Yes! Tiaras can’t stop you from chasing an unsub and you’ll look amazing!”

I looked at JJ desperately, but she shrugged, “They are fun.”

I agreed and all the girls clapped, excited. As the assistant helping us went to get some options, I tried to sit down, failing several times.

“Oh, hell no.” I said, “We have to find a different dress. I’m not enduring dinner in this.”

“How picky can you be?” Jenna groaned, “If you went with layers, you’d be okay sitting, but no, you have to have a circle skirt and no train, and now you’re changing it again?”

Emily spoke up, “You could change dresses between the ceremony and the dinner.”

The woman helping us, Ruby, returned with a small book, quickly catching onto the conversation. “That top actually is designed to be able to swap skirts, so we can look at other options if you’d like.”

“Let’s look at tiaras first, I’ll think about it.” I said.

Ruby offered me the book, and the girls crowded around me to look. I didn’t think I’d find one I liked, but one caught my eye. A simple jeweled tiara with a small peak and flower engravings on the sides.

“Can I try that one on?” I asked, pointing to it, and Ruby nodded, rushing away to get it.

“Yes!” Penelope said happily, “You’re going to wear a tiara!”

“Let the poor woman try it on first,” Emily chided, but whispered to me, “I think Garcia might be the killer at your wedding if you don’t wear it.”

I laughed, spotting Ruby coming over with the tiara. She offered to put it on and I accepted, knowing she’d be able to place it better than I could.

“Look in the mirror,” she said, smiling at me, and I turned to see myself in the mirror.

I looked amazing. The tiara sparked gently, making my face look gentler, and my eyes sparkled looking at it.

“She loves it!” Jenna called, “I can see it, honey, you are totally in love with it.”

“Yeah, okay, I totally love it,” I smiled.

“Do you know what shoes you’re wearing?” Ruby asked.

Jenna winked at me, pulling out a big shopping bag. “I’ve got them!”

I had specifically decided not to wear them before, but I did want to see the entire outfit together. Everyone turned to Jenna to see them, and she pulled out the shoes we’d picked together: Sparkly white thigh-high boots with a small heel.

“Fabulous!” JJ called, “You’re going to look amazing.”

“If you still want another skirt for your reception, I can pull some skirts that are cut to highlight your shoes more,” Ruby offered, and I accepted.

Jenna helped me into the shoes (wedding dresses really are a pain), but I looked amazing. I understood why people felt like princesses in their wedding dresses- all I needed was a sword and I could take on the entire world.

“You look amazing,” Emily said, and all the other girls agreed.

Ruby returned holding a few skirts, agreeing with the girls, “You really do look absolutely wonderful. Want to try on these?”

She began hanging up a few skirts, and one caught my eye: Cut above the knee in the front, dropping down in the back, with soft embroidery around the entire thing. I pointed to it. Ruby guided me to a dressing room and helped me into the skirt, clipping it into the bodice. She fluffed it a few times, nodded, and guided me out.

“Holy. Shit.” Jenna’s jaw dropped, and all the other girls had similar expressions. “Absolutely yes!”

I stepped onto the platform and turned to face the mirror. The skirt was cut just above my boots in the front, barely brushing the ground in the back, and framed my legs beautifully.

I nodded, “I love it.”

***

“So, any pictures from your shopping trip?” Spencer asked as I walked in the door.

I shot him a look, “You know the rules, Spencer, you can’t see me in the dress until the day of.”

He groaned, “Do I get to see the bridesmaids’ dresses?”

I nodded and pulled out my phone. We’d found dresses cut similar to my second dress, and everyone had agreed that they’d work wonderfully. I didn’t tell him why we’d chose them, though.

“Your bridesmaids will look amazing,” he kissed me. “Now, have you thought about the honeymoon?”

“I don’t know if we should even try to schedule one,” I sighed, laying down on the couch.

“We’ve double-checked with Hotch and the director to make sure it’s okay,” he reminded me, “We are going on a honeymoon. We both need the time to relax.”

I hesitantly agreed. Spencer had taken a more active role in the planning, partially as a distraction from everything else that was going on, and I wasn’t going to complain. If he really wanted to plan a honeymoon, I’d go along and enjoy it, even if I was worried about being called back at any moment.

“Plus, we need to send out invitations, I know we sent out save the dates, but we need to make actual invitations.” He said, pacing around the kitchen, “And set up a place on the website for allergies. More than half of all Americans have an allergy.”

“I’ll work on that,” I said, “Anything else?”

He rattled off a list of other things which I quickly wrote down, agreeing to work on them.

“I’ll work on those later.” I said, putting my phone down. “Can I just chill for now?”

He nodded, walking over to me and pulling me into his arms. “Want to watch something?”

I nodded, “You pick something. I just want to stay in your arms.”

I didn’t even really notice what Spencer put on before I fell asleep.

_Fluorescent lights.  
Needles pricking my skin.  
Shouting around me.  
The beeping of machines._

_I groaned and opened my eyes, “Where am I?”_

_Spencer was standing over me. “Oh, good, you’re awake. I was worried for a second.” His voice was too calm, it was eerie._

_“What’s going on?” I asked, “Where am I?”_

_“It doesn’t matter. We’re together.” He brushed me off, “It just matters that you’re here.”_

_This was wrong. I pulled the tubes from my arms and stood up, ignoring the pain and stumbling towards the door. I opened it to see the rest of the team, faces blank, not reacting. I tried to push past them, but they didn’t move._

_“Get away,” I muttered, “Let me go.”_

_“It’s okay.” Spencer’s voice was wrong, too deep and angry now, “Dumb bitch.”_

_I spun around to see Russel Steele, his gun leveled at my forehead._

_“Get away from me.” I said angrily, “Stop. Put it down.”_

_He fired. The scene changed again._

_I was curled up in Spencer’s arms now, sitting in a field. I could hear high, bright laughter behind me, and I turned. Two beautiful children were running through the field, one boy and one girl._

_“They’re wonderful, aren’t they?” Spencer’s voice was light and happy, “We did that. You did that.”_

_I was tearing up, “Those are our kids?”_

_“Of course they are,” he sounded surprised, “Don’t you remember?”_

_I suddenly did. I’d held them in my arms, changed their diapers, all of it. My eyes welled up with tears._

_“They’re beautiful.” I whispered._

I woke up to find tears streaming down my face. Spencer was saying something, but it took me a minute to figure out what he was saying.

“Are you okay?” He asked, “What’s wrong? I’m here.”

I turned to look at him, “We had kids. I- I dreamed that we had kids, I remembered holding them.”

“I’m not saying you should wait until after the wedding to get pregnant, but it might mess up your wedding dress plans.” He teased.

I nodded, kissing him, “After?”

He kissed me back, “After.” He sounded sure.

“Really?” I asked, “We haven’t talked about it that much.”

“If you really want to, I want to raise kids with you,” he said, “I want to make a family with you.”

I smiled, snuggling into his chest, “Okay. After the wedding. Oh! One more thing.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“We need to talk about a collaring ceremony. If you want one.” I shrugged, “It’s up to you, it can be as private or as public as you want, but it’s something to consider.”

“What if we did it between the ceremony and the reception?” He suggested, “Have a small ceremony together.”

I nodded, “I’d like that. Do you want a new one as a life collar?”

“I’d like that, ma’am,” he said shyly, “Can we pick one together?”

“Of course, Spencer. Along those lines,” I hesitated, “Do you want to give me something?”

“Like what?”

I shrugged, “Some people keep a key on a necklace, or a matching necklace of some kind, or a bracelet, it’s up to you.”

“Can I think about it?” He asked, “I want you to have something, but I don’t know what.”

“Of course, take your time. There’s no rush.”

He nodded and I snuggled back into him, head full of thoughts about our wedding and future.


	28. Strangulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking and a case.

I gripped Spencer’s hair and pulled him into a kiss, my other hand stroking him over his pants. He gasped and his hips twitched forward, but I didn’t care. I knew he wanted to move his hands, but I’d bound them tight with his tie and he loved it.

“Mistress,” he moaned, “Please.”

“Please what?” I growled.

“Please fuck me.” He whimpered, “I’m so needy, I want to be bent over and fucked, please.”

I moved my hand around to his ass, squeezing it. He groaned and whined. I smiled and unbuttoned his pants.

“Bend over the bed, slut.” I ordered, and he shoved his pants down, quickly moving to obey.

I put my strap on and stroked his ass, then pulled his lacy panties to the side, pushing one finger against the plug that had been in him all day. He whined, pushing his face into the bed. I gripped it and slowly started to pull it out, making him moan louder.

“Mistress,” he whined, “Please fuck me.”

I hummed, reaching around to stroke him, “Ask nicely.”

He gasped, “Ma’am! Please fuck me, make your slut feel so good, please, Mistress, fill me with your strap.”

With that, I pushed into him, making him arch forward and moan. I kept my hand around his cock as I began pushing into him, matching my strokes with my thrusts. He looked so beautiful like this, arms bound, sweaty and moaning for me.

“Such a good little whore for me, taking my strap so well, just begging to be fucked by your mistress.” I said, slapping his ass.

“Fuck!” He groaned, “Oh, fuck, Mistress, I want to be so good for you, I love when you fuck me ma’am.”

I stopped, letting go and pulling out of him, undoing his handcuffs. “Get on your back on the bed.”

“Yes Mistress!” He climbed onto the bed and spread his legs, already gripping the headboard and looking at me eagerly.

I got onto the bed and stroked him as I lined up between his legs, loving his expression. I pushed in and he almost screamed, burying his face in his arm, panting.

“Look at me,” I ordered, “Now. Watch me fuck you.”

“Yes Mistress!” He quickly moved to look at me as I began fucking him.

“Such a dirty little whore, spread out and moaning for me,” I leaned forward to grip his throat as I stroked and fucked him.

He gasped and bucked up his hips, eyes locked on mine.

“You want to cum all over your Mistress?” I asked, “Want to cum for me?”

He nodded, begging with his eyes. I released his throat and he gasped.

“Mistress, please,” he immediately started begging, “Please let me cum for you, you make me feel so good, please let me cum.”

“Have you earned it?” I asked.

He groaned, “Only if you think so, Mistress, I only want to do what you want.”

I hummed in appreciation. Spencer was so well trained for me he didn’t even say he earned it unless I thought so.

“Beg for me.”

“Yes, Mistress, fuck, please,” he immediately obeyed, “Please let me cum for you, your strap feels so good in my ass, please let me cum, I want to be so good for you.” He was groaning and panting between words as I sped up, “Please, Mistress, please, please, fuck!”

“Cum for me.” I ordered, choking him again and stroking him faster.

He immediately gasped and bucked his hips up, moaning and cumming, spurting over both our bodies, burying his eyes in his arm as he tensed. I slowed down as he did, but didn’t pull out, instead letting him twitch and finish.

“Fuck,” Spencer panted, “Fuck. Thank you, ma’am.”

I hummed, leaning down to kiss him, “You’re welcome, my little slut.” He flushed and tried to hide his face, but I kissed him again. “Don’t hide from me.”

“Yes, mistress,” he said, whining as I slowly pulled out of him.

I stood up and cleaned up, wiping myself and Spencer down. I was still a little sweaty, so just got in bed and wrapped a blanket around both of us.

“Thank you,” he whispered, “I needed that.”

“Of course,” I answered, pulling him closer to me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

My phone started ringing.

“Someone better be dead.” I said.

“Someone is. Well, an entire family of people. We have a case.” Garcia’s voice echoed over the phone.

“Where are we meeting?” I asked.

“Office.” She answered, “Get here as soon as you can.”

“Be there in 20.” I answered, shaking Spencer to wake him up, “Reid, we need to get up.”

He groaned and rolled over, falling off my chest and jolting awake. Idiot.

“We just finished fucking,” he groaned, “Are you kidding me?”

“Family murder, Garcia said be at the office ASAP.” I responded, “Just be glad it wasn’t a spanking scene.”

“Could I call in sick if it was?” he muttered, slowly getting out of bed as I moved to get clothes on.

I laughed, “You want to explain that to Hotchner, be my guest.” I pulled out clothes for myself and Spencer, tossing them on the bed. “Put your clothes on, and fast. Wow, never thought I’d say that.”

He snorted, “Yes, ma’am.”

I grabbed his collar and pulled him towards me, making his eyes go wide. “Don’t use that tone with me.”

“Yes, Mistress, I’m sorry, Mistress,” his voice was barely more than a whisper.

I released him, “Get dressed.” I continued pulling on my own clothes.

I went to the front room and checked both our go bags, then grabbed my keys, wallet, and phones, throwing everything in the car. I walked back in to see Spencer pouring two travel mugs of coffee, and I retrieved several energy bars from the pantry, as well as a small bag of sweets I kept for situations like this. I turned all the lights off, double checked we both had everything, and locked the door.

I handed the sweets and a power bar to Spencer, “You’re going to need these. Eat up.”

He started eating as I drove, and we got to the office quickly. I got our bags and he took the food as we walked to the elevators. When the doors closed, I dropped our bags, chugging most of my coffee and eating a power bar.

“Shit,” I said, looking at Spencer, “You’re still wearing your collar.”

He’d worn it a few times at work before, mostly hidden under scarves, but it was fully in view.

He shrugged, “I’ve worn it before, and I’m not ashamed of it. Unless you want it off?”

I shook my head as we walked out, “I’m happy to see you wear it.”

He nodded as we walked to the briefing room, relieved that we weren’t the last ones: JJ hadn’t arrived yet. Rossi looked between us, saw Spencer’s collar, and raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t say anything. JJ rushed in, dropping her bags, apologizing, but Hotch brushed it off and told Garcia to start.

**//Author’s Note: This case contains r*pe, child r*pe, and serious domestic ab*se. Please use your discretion when reading.//**

“Alright, folks, I think we’ll all need some serious puppy therapy after this one,” she sighed, standing up, “You’re going to travel to Raleigh, North Carolina to meet the Bradys. Janna, 46 is the mom, lived with her long-term boyfriend, Scott Walters. They had three kids. Tianna and April, both 12, and an 8-year-old son, Adrian. They were all murdered last night, preliminary autopsy shows signs of sexual assault on both girls and the mom.” She was good at avoiding pictures that were too graphic, but they still weren’t pleasant.

“Why are we being called in? This seems like an open-and-shut revenge killing to me,” Morgan said.

“Two years ago,” Garcia sighed, “The Chapmans, unmarried parents, one boy and one girl, signs of sexual assault on the mother and daughter.” She pulled up more pictures, and we all expressed disgust, “And again one year ago. On the same exact date. Unmarried parents, one daughter, same COD, signs of sexual assault.”

“Wheels up in 30.” Hotch said, “This is going to be a long night, but the unsub might already be on the run. We need a preliminary profile as soon as possible.”

No rest for the wicked. Or because of them.

***

“So, we’ve got a physically fit man who’s smart enough to use a condom and wipe away DNA evidence but leaves the bodies there with doors and windows all open.” I sat back, “Weird.”

“He ties up the son and dad but none of the women. Why?” Morgan asked.

“So they can see what’s coming.” Emily’s voice was grim, “He makes them stand there and watch, they can’t help each other but they have to see what’s going to happen. He doesn’t care about the men, they’re disposable. He gets off on seeing the fear of what they know will happen.”

_I hate this job sometimes._

“What’s significant about the date?” I asked, “Something happened that was the trigger. Garcia, any ideas?”

“Hello, my loves.” She popped up on the screen, “I’ve been searching, and I really need something to narrow down why this date. What do you have in mind?”

“Maybe it’s the separated parents. Look for divorces,” I said, “Or marriages that were called off at the last minute. Also, days the parents died.”

“That’s not helpful,” she muttered, “But I’ll try.”

We spent the rest of the plane ride theorizing, but it was just a short hop and we had to give a profile as soon as we landed.

“We’re looking for a physically fit white man between 40-50, who dealt with some kind of family-related loss connected to the date, we’re still working on what that might have been.” I said.

“Most likely a divorce, date of death, or failed marriage,” Spencer cut in, “It would explain why he chooses the families he does.”

“He gets off on seeing the fear in the eyes of the children.” Emily continued, “But he didn’t start with this, so look for men with priors as minors or relating to children. It’s possible he saw something, even, was put in a similar scenario.”

“Since he only kills once a year, we’re looking at a small time window to catch him.” Hotch warned, “Time is of the essence. Work fast and efficient.”

Morgan’s phone buzzed and he motioned for the officers to be dismissed, guiding us into the room we’d set up. “Talk dirty to me, sweet cheeks.”

“Does a horrifying number of pedophiles count as dirty?” She replied, “’Cause that’s what I’ve got for you.”

“How many?” I asked.

“Over 300 total offenders in the city, but only about 50 ones acted against children. Still too many to interview in your time, though.” She answered, “Of those, 35 are white, most of those 35 have divorced parents, and I’m having trouble making the date stick to any of them.”

“Keep searching, baby girl,” Morgan said, “Look for anything.”

“I’ll hit you back when I have something.” She hung up.

Garcia called us back 5 minutes later. “Alright, I added some of my own parameters, but I’ve got a very likely offender. Brian Owen, 52, habitual sex offender with a rap sheet a mile long. He’s got a job at a fast food place and always takes one day off, and you get one guess on what it is.”

“What happened that day?” Reid asked.

“Double suicide by his unmarried parents.” She answered, “So we’re looking at a big trigger right there.”

“But why now?” He said.

“His little sister died four years ago, on the same day, unknown causes. As in, her body was so mangled and messed up the coroner couldn’t figure it out. And our dear Brian was the last one to see her.” Garcia sounded slightly sick, “There were some rumors about them being, uh, more than siblings.”

“Wonderful, there goes my appetite.” I muttered, “Do you have an address?”

“Already on your phones.” She said, “Be safe, my loves.”

“Love you, mama,” Morgan hung up and we all ran out.

“Talk about reasons to avoid being called Daddy,” Reid whispered.

I hit his arm. “Shut up! That doesn’t even make sense. They were siblings.”

He got in the car with Hotch before either of us could say anything else.

Unsub’s houses are disgusting, almost without fail. Owen’s was no different, garbage on every surface and so dusty I was worried about inhaling something deadly. We searched every room quietly, ending at the bedroom. Hotch nodded at me, and I pushed open the door.

Just my luck. Brian Owen was on the bed, fully naked, jacking off.

“Brian Owen!” I yelled, staring at the wall above his head, “FBI, put your penis away.”

He scrambled to his feet, grabbing a pair of boxers off the floor and pulling them on, then putting his hands up. I pulled out a pair of gloves before cuffing him. I didn’t even want to think about how gross his hands were. I led him out to a squad car, asking for some bleach and wipes. The officer looked confused but rushed off to find some.

I managed to wipe down myself and Owen thoroughly before putting him in the car. I turned to see Spencer barely holding in a laugh.

“One word out of you and you’ll be my personal footstool for the next week.” I threatened.

“Yes, ma’am.” He knew it wasn’t an idle threat. Last time he’d made a snark sexual comment at work, I’d propped my feet up on him at every opportunity for three days, even changing my seating so I could, and I’d do it again.

We drove back to the station to find Brian Owen already in an interrogation room.

“(Y/N), I want you in there first. You’re the first one of us he saw.” Hotch said, “Ignore what you saw. Treat him like anyone else.”

“I would be happy to,” I answered, “I never want to think about that again.” I opened the door and walked in.

“Brian Owen?” I asked, “Hi. I’m Special Supervisory Agent (Y/N) with the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

“Just tell me what I’m doing here.” He grumbled.

“You’ve got quite a history,” I said, ignoring him, “Not often I get to talk to such pathetic dirtbags as you. Makes their murders even more interesting.”

He didn’t answer.

“Why did you do it?” I walked forward, leaning over him, “Did you miss screwing your sister? Wouldn’t let other families had the same trouble yours did, but you couldn’t stop thinking about your corpse sister, huh? Had to fuck the women before you killed them just to get off.”

He was becoming more agitated.

“Did you kill your sister on the anniversary of your parents’ death on purpose?” I asked, “Was it satisfying, watching her die? I’m not surprised they offed themselves, I would do with a pathetic kid like you. Good thing they never saw the even more disgusting adult you grew up to be.”

He was getting annoyed.

“Do you want to know who has the worst time in prison? Not the murderers, not even child murderers, both of which you are, but you hit the jackpot. We will make sure everyone knows you raped those children.” I could tell I was getting to him: he would break soon. He wanted people to know why he did what he did. “Maybe it’s not even the little girls that got you off, though.”

“How do you figure?” He asked, voice surprisingly clear and confident.

I pulled out a chair, sitting, picking my nails, “I think it was the deaths you loved. Getting to relive what your parents and sister endured, that’s what really does it for you. Everything else is just, well, foreplay I guess.”

He was relaxing. I knew I was wrong, but I didn’t stop.

“You just like the penetration, maybe you even liked the men’s reaction to it,” I continued, “That’s why you tied them up. That way you could keep them in place. Women be damned, right? But you loved watching them die, every one of them.”

I could tell he was close to laughing. I shot the mirrored glass a look: _Let me keep going._

“But it’s your method of killing them that confuses me the most.”

“Why’s that? Seems like it’s clear to me.” He wasn’t even trying to deny it.

“Well,” I started, “Why strangle them before you shoot them? Seems a bit counterintuitive, doesn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?” He sounded surprised.

“You strangled the kids before you shot them, why?” I asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He was angry, “That’s not what- That’s not what I heard happened.”

There’s the avoidance. C’mon, tell me what you did.

“Really? Because I saw the bodies myself, and it seems pretty clear to me.” I said, “Are you suggesting I missed something? Not like you would know.”

He snapped. “Of course I know what I did! I didn’t strangle them, I wanted to hear them beg for their pathetic, useless lives before I ended them. You rattle off your fancy fucking titles but you can’t even look at a body and figure out what happened. Single gunshots, because once I was done screwing them, they were useless. Execution style, don’t you get it? Quick and easy. I tied up the boys so they wouldn’t call for help, they were behind me, I didn’t need to see them. The sex wasn’t the foreplay, it was the entire goddamn point.”

I stood up, “Thank you for your confession.” I walked out.

Emily raised an eyebrow, “You don’t normally go for the dumb act.”

I shrugged, “It worked. He’s still got some pride, somehow, so I used that against him.”

“Good work, Agent,” Hotch complimented, “Let’s finish up and go home.”


	29. T minus 1 Month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Planning and fun time

_Wedding Checklist:1 Month Before_

  * _Finalize seating arrangements_
  * _Confirm details with vendors_
    * _Order programs_
    * _Order thank you notes_
  * _Confirm honeymoon booking_
  * _Meet with photographer/videographer to discuss & finalize shots_
    * _Discuss collar ceremony_
  * _Organize/finalize venue layout_
  * _Finalize guest count_
  * _Confirm # of centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres with florist_
  * _Final dress fitting_
  * _Hair & makeup test run_
  * _Order collar_
    * _Finalize collar ceremony & guest list_



“I’ll confirm the honeymoon and florist reservations if you send out RSVP reminders,” Spencer said.

I laughed, “What, you don’t want to bother people about whether they’re coming? And why don’t I get to see anything relating to the honeymoon?

“It’s awkward.” He said, “So no thank you. And because I said so.”

“Okay, deal. I don’t trust you with the seating arrangements, so I’ll finish those. We both need to talk to the photographer, you do the venue layout since you have the place memorized, I’ve got the dress and makeup, and we’ll go shopping and decide on a collar tomorrow.”

He nodded and we both started working, making phone calls or asking each other the occasional question, but mostly working in silence. We never knew when we’d be called on a case, so we took these pockets of calm to plan.

“And I really don’t get to see the dress until the day of?” He asked as I texted the bridesmaids’ group about the final dress fitting and hair and makeup day, “Really really really I don’t?”

I shook my head, “I haven’t even let the girls take pictures of it in case you snoop on our phones. You don’t get to see it until I walk down the aisle.”

I hadn’t mentioned the second dress yet. Or my outfit for the collaring ceremony.

He pouted, but I just smiled and kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed me back.

_I’m going to marry Spencer Reid in a month._

***

We walked into the store, and an employee immediately walked over.

“How can I help you two?” He asked. “Or do you know your way around?”

“We’re looking for a life collar.” I said.

He nodded and began leading us to the back room, “Congratulations! Can I ask what style you’re looking for?”

“A simple infinity collar, maybe with engravings.” I answered, “The one he has right now is similar to what we want, but a little more subtle.”

The employee nodded, “I have to stay in here for safety and security purposes, but feel free to look around. I’d suggest starting here,” he gestured to an area, “But it’s up to you.”

Spencer stood over my shoulder as we looked. I asked the occasional question or his opinion, but he stayed quiet otherwise.

“Can these be customized?” I asked, turning to the employee, “I like this one, but I want a certain engraving and lock, is that possible?”

“Certainly, when would you need it by? And how many keys?” He asked.

“Three, and the ceremony is in a month, so before that.” I answered. Spencer looked confused at my answer to the keys, but my look said _I’ll tell you later._

“This particular design can have a matching bracelet. Would you be interested in that?”

Spencer perked up, “Yes, can we see it?”

“It’s a small identical version of the collar, made to your specifications with a charm similar to the lock.” He said, “And one of the keys, as well if you’d like.”

“Do you want that, Spence?” I asked.

He nodded eagerly, “If you’re okay with it, I’d really like that.” He was always awkward about addressing me in public, especially in spaces like this.

“I’ll need to get some additional information from both of you, if you come to the front desk I can begin working on an order.” The employee said, guiding us out of the room, “The collars take up to two weeks to make, and are shipped overnight to here, where you can try it on. Once it leaves the store, however, it’s nonrefundable.”

“Got it.” I said, “Do you have a tape measure?”

Spencer looked shocked.

“For your neck, get your mind out of the gutter.” I said, taking the tape measure from the employee and wrapping it around his neck, showing the measurement to the man before wrapping it around my wrist. I specified the engravings and lock, and we left happy.

***

The fittings for the two main dresses were attended by all the bridesmaids, but Jenna and I had agreed to secretly meet earlier to finalize my collaring outfit. Her wife, Elle, had offered to make my outfit for me (she’s a tailor) and I accepted gratefully. Jenna helped me into it, and I walked out to the makeshift fitting room we’d set up.

“You look wonderful,” Elle said, moving around me to make sure everything fit. “Truly amazing.”

She moved away and I turned around, admiring the entire outfit. “It’s perfect.”

Elle smiled, “Are you sure? I can change it, we have time, if you don’t like it I can do something different.”

“Elle,” I reassured her, “It’s exactly what I wanted. This is perfect.”

She nodded and I stepped down to take it off, turning so Jenna could help me. I got out of it and pulled on my normal clothes. Elle handed me a cup of coffee and we all sat down.

“So, this is really happening?” Elle asked.

I couldn’t stop smiling, “It’s really happening. I’m collaring him.” _Holy crap this is really happening._

“I’m really happy for you,” Jenna leaned back, wrapping one arm around Elle, “And the ceremony is going to be wonderful.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with coordinating it?” I asked, “I don’t want to put all this pressure on you.”

“I am taking on the responsibility as your friend to make sure your collaring ceremony is as wonderful as possible. Stop stressing about it.” Jenna looked at me.

I looked at my watch, “We should get going soon.”

“I’ll have all the final adjustments done within a week, and Jenna will bring it to the ceremony,” Elle said, “We’ve got everything handled.”

I thanked her until Jenna dragged me out the door.

“So you ordered the collar?” She asked as we got in my car.

“We went to the shop earlier today,” I confirmed, “I’m getting a matching bracelet.”

“Do you want me to bring those too? That way you don’t have to do one more thing on your big day. I can pick them up from your house.”

“Please do.” I said, “That would be really nice.”

“And you’ve got someone in charge of the rings?” She asked, “What about the dresses?”

“Emily’s in charge of getting the dresses and Hotch is getting the rings.” I answered, “I trust both of them to get it done.”

She quizzed me about a few other things. I knew she was just trying to be helpful, and although part of me was annoyed, I was grateful to have a third brain keeping track of all of this: Spencer could only remember so much about color coordination, and he didn’t even know everything that was happening.

***

The final fitting went smoothly, with all the girls being able to try on their dresses too. We looked fabulous, and went out for coffee after, glowing with excitement.

I got home later than I’d expected to find a note on the door, scrawled in Spencer’s handwriting.

_I’m waiting in the bedroom.  
Come see your surprise, Mistress._

I smiled and opened the door quietly, closing the door and putting my things down before walking back to the bedroom, finding the door closed.

I opened it quietly to find Spencer bound to the bed, only one arm left untied. He had a black lacy thong on, tenting around his mostly-hard dick, and a blindfold covered his eyes. I quietly stripped, dropping my clothes on the floor, leaving only heels on. I walked forward to inspect him, then realized he was wearing a collar we hadn’t used before.

I reached forward, not giving him any warning before gripping the circle ring on the front and pulling it up. He gasped, then whined and tensed.

“Is this a present for me, slut?” I asked, the deep, powerful tone of my voice surprising even me.

“Yes, Mistress,” he moaned, “Present from your whore to you.”

I tugged it again, making him moan more. “Do you want to tell me what it is?”

He smiled a little, “Can’t you figure it out, Mistress?”

Fair enough. I quickly tied up his wrist, checking to make sure he was okay before looking at the collar more closely. I realized there was a chain coming from the back of it that disappeared behind him, but I could guess where it went. I walked to the end of the bed, ripping his panties off and pushing one finger against his ass, feeling a metal plug and- ah, there it was, a small chain trailing up his back.

We hadn’t used an anal hook before, though we’d discussed it, but I guess he decided he wanted to.

“What a little whore.” I said, “Preparing yourself and putting a hook in for me. I bet you had to tie yourself up with this in and just struggled to not touch yourself, didn’t you?”

“Yes, Mistress, I had to try so hard not to touch what’s yours.” He said quickly, “I promise I didn’t touch.”

“Good.” I thought for a second, “How do you feel about candles tonight?”

His voice was eager, “Whatever you want, ma’am.”

I walked to my drawer, pulling out a lighter and wax play candle and lit it, putting it on the bedside table. I walked around Spencer, running my nails along his skin, making him gasp every time. I didn’t know how long he’d had the plug it, but it made him extremely sensitive, and I wasn’t complaining.

I ran one finger up the vein on the bottom of his cock.

“Fuck!” he yelled, “Oh, fuck, Mistress, please don’t stop touching me.”

I pulled my hand away, “No.”

He whined but stayed quiet.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, and he nodded. I walked quickly to the kitchen and grabbed a small container of ice, returned to the bedroom, and set it down on the table, grabbing a single cube. I ran it across his chest, circling a nipple.

“Fuck,” he gasped and twitched.

Continuing the trails of ice on his chest, now avoiding his nipples, I picked up the candle and turned it to the side, dripping it in the wake of the ice. He twitched a few times, but knew it was better to stay still- during another scene, he’d moved too violently and got a large drip on his nipple. Not the most pleasant feeling.

I trailed the ice and wax in its wake, making a design of purple wax all over his skin. I took the ice off his skin and stopped pouring the wax, instead trailing the ice up his dick. He gasped and bucked his hips up.

“Mistress,” he moaned, “Fuck, please stop teasing me, it feels so good, please.”

“Please what?”

He whined in annoyance, “Please stop teasing me, please fuck me.”

The ice was close to fully melted, but I kept stroking it up and down his cock. “Keep begging.”

He did, voice breaking every time I got close to his tip, fighting to keep his hips in place. When the ice melted, I walked to the drawer and pulled out a vibrating wand.

“Mistress?” He asked, “Can you please fuck me now?” He was desperate. “I need you, please, please fuck me.”

I walked back, turned the vibrator on and placed it on the tip of his cock.

“Fuck!” He screamed, thrusting up desperately, “Fuck, Mistress, please, holy shit, I’m so sensitive,” he was tugging on the ropes, trying to pull away, “It’s so much, Mistress.”

“Color?” I asked.

“Green, fuck, please, it’s so much.” He kept trying to pull away, but he was tied up too well.

“Cum for me.” I ordered.

He ground up and moaned, orgasming. “Fuck! Fuck, yes, feels so good, thank you, Mistress.” He spurted all over his chest, moaning and panting.

I turned the vibrator off and walked towards to the head of the bed, leaning down to kiss Spencer. “Close your eyes, baby, I’m going to take your blindfold off.”

“Yes ma’am.”

I pulled it off and kissed him again, “My good slut.” I started untying the ropes, rubbing his wrists and ankles gently.

He started to sit up, then gasped and moaned. “Fuck how did I forget about the plug.”

I laughed, “Just give yourself a second, we still need to eat dinner.” I helped him up.

“Ma’am,” he whined, “That’s not fair.”

I wrapped one finger around the ring in front of his collar and pulled him into a kiss, “Color?”

He thought for a second, “Green, it’s just a lot.”

I nodded, “Do you want to have dinner in here, so you don’t have to walk?”

“Just give me a second.” He answered, “Go get stuff out, I’ll be there in a second.”

***

We finished dinner and walked back to the bedroom.

“Turn around, let me take the collar off,” I ordered, and he did. I unbuckled it then told him to kneel, lubing around his ass and slowly pulling the plug out. “Good pet,” I kissed down his neck and let him relax into me, “Ready for bed?”

He hummed in assent and I helped him up, making sure he was comfortable before walking to the bedroom to clean the plug, then curling up around him and smiling, his breathing telling me he was already asleep.

“Good night, Spencer.” I whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I'm a dumbass and fucked up Jenna's wife's name. I'm sorry.


	30. T Minus 1 Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new case comes up

“Okay, I know we’re just a week away from the big day, but this is a big case,” Garcia said, “We’ve got a spree murderer in Houston, Texas, so pack your cowboy hats. He’s ramping up, it was one a week ago, two three days later, and three yesterday.”

“On this schedule we’ve only got one day before he kills four people.” Hotch said, “Which means we need to be there as soon as possible.”

“The first person was Cory Hector,” Garcia continued, “He was shot three times in the chest, the shots were all messy and badly aimed.”

“No kidding, none of these are fatal.” Spencer said, “It was purely blood loss that killed him.”

“Second two were a couple, Jason Lachlan and Courtney Garner. Single shots each to the chest.” Garcia continued.

“Why do we think they’re the same person?” I asked, “Different MOs, right?”

“And… that’s where we get to why I’m going to therapy. Here’s his signature.” Garcia pulled up more images, and we all groaned.

Each person had lines carved into the bottom of their feet with the skin ripped as far as possible to either side, with flesh carved out.

“Did they find the pieces?” JJ asked.

Garcia shook her head, “Do you want to know what’s even worse?”

“No.” We all chorused.

“Well too bad, if I have to know this so do all of you. Those chunks were taken out my someone’s teeth, then had bleach poured all over them to get rid of DNA.”

“Garcia, it’s the week of my wedding, why did you put that in my head?” I complained.

“We need to be there as soon as possible.” Hotch said, “I apologize for the bad image, but we need to get going. Wheels up in 30. Garcia, tell them about the third victims.”

“Right! Third one is the worst, three children, coming home from school. Gunshots to the head, same, uh, foot thing. Carmen Diaz, 8, Ella Diaz, 10, and their friend John Mitchell, also 8.”

After finishing the briefing, we all rushed around, assembling our bags and getting everything ready. As we were about to get on the plane, my alternative phone rang. I pulled it out and Spencer raised an eyebrow.

“Hey Jenna, I’m about to get on a plane so be fast, what’s up?” I said, tucking my phone under my ear.

“Hey! I just got a call from the florist, I put my name down since I know you work a lot.” She sounded worried, “Y’know the flowers we ordered for the pews?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s an issue with pesticides and I can’t find anyone else who had them. What do you want me to do?”

“Find something similar,” I said immediately, “You know the aesthetic we’re going for and what works, find something that works. I trust you.”

“I’m on it.” Jenna said, “Have a good time, ma’am.”

Before I could respond, she hung up. I sighed, rolling my eyes at that sarcastic comment, and climbed into the plane.

“Everything okay?” Spencer asked.

I nodded, “Flower pesticide issue of some kind. Jenna’s got it handled.”

“That woman is a miracle worker,” Emily said.

We all sat down, beginning to discuss the case. The mention of our wedding just reminded us of the time crunch we were under, and we were all rushing to get a working theory started before we even touched down.

 **_Message from: Fiancé in the Reeds  
_ ** **Sure you’re okay?**

 **_Message to: Fiancé in the Reeds  
_ ** **Yep, just ready to finally marry you.**

***

We arrived at the most recent crime scene first. It stunk of bleach, and the poor children were practically drowning in the sheets covering them. They were untouched other than the gunshots and marks on their feet.

“And no one saw anything?” JJ asked the officer.

I was only half-listening.

“No one, the kids got let off school early, so most people weren’t home, and this is a little out of the way.” He said, “This isn’t a highly trafficked area, but they aren’t the only kids that use this path. None of them saw anything.”

“It doesn’t look like any of them ran, why?” I asked, “Someone points a gun at a kid they’re going to be terrified.”

“Don’t run or I shoot you.” Morgan said, fingers pointed in a gun at my head, “I’d make them lay down, take off their shoes, then kill them.”

“Where are their shoes?” Spencer cut in, “I haven’t seen anything about any of the vics’ shoes, now that I think about it.”

“Are we looking at a violent version of a foot fetishist?” I asked.

“Could be.” Spencer answered, “About 10% of people have a foot fetish, the percentage is higher among men, as well as among bisexual, lesbian, and gay populations.”

I shuddered, “Not my thing, no thank you. Why take the chunk of the foot, though?”

Morgan looked at me, almost smiling, “Ever heard of a fleshlight?”

“Gross!” I said, “No thank you, I’m walking away now.”

We drove to the other two crime scenes, and there was no evidence of shoes at either of them. We all met back at the local precinct.

“What has ballistics come up with?” Hotch asked.

“It’s actually kind of strange,” Spencer responded, “We’re looking at a single action colt, the kind with the rotating barrel. It’s what- what Tobias Hankel, well, one of his alters, used to threaten me.”

“Has Garcia checked gun registration?” Hotch looked at Morgan.

“No use,” he shrugged, “We are in Texas. Plus, there’s a large unregulated gun market, you don’t need a permit to buy at a show here.”

I sighed, leaning back, “Wonderful. So we’ve got a foot fetishist who doesn’t care about age or gender, owns a very common weapon, and is probably going to kill four people tomorrow if we don’t find him.”

“At least we know he’s probably white,” Rossi pointed out, “That cuts out about- Reid, what’s the percentage?”

“About 57.63% of Houston is Caucasian,” He answered immediately, “But the population is above 2 million people. Which gives us over a million suspects. 49.98% of the population is male, and we don’t have an age range yet. Even if we did, that’s over 50,000 suspects, most of whom probably own guns.”

“Okay, so let’s talk about his job,” JJ suggested, “He doesn’t work a 9-5, because there’s no way he’d get out long enough to kill all these people. I doubt he’s married any partner would question what was going on.”

“Still doesn’t narrow it enough to get a viable suspect pool.” Hotch said, “Keep working. As soon as you have anything, get Garcia on it.”

As if on cue, Morgan’s phone rang. “Talk to me, baby.”

“Can I just say, I hate the internet. Like, yes, it’s amazing but also someone get me bleach for my eyes,” she started, “That being said, I might have something. Preserving flesh is difficult, and you need supplies if you’re going to do anything with it. I crossed that with white men, then narrowed that down by people who posted about foot fetishes online.” She made a retching noise, “Which is way too many, by the way. Got anything else for me?”

“Unmarried, doesn’t work a 9-5?” Morgan suggested, “We can’t pin down an age.”

“That’s not going to be enough, my love,” she said, “Helps, but it’s not enough.”

“Try gun registration. I know it’s not a for sure, but it’s something.” I suggested.

“Anything else?” She asked, furious typing noises echoing in the background.

“Older than 20,” I muttered.

“Holy shit, that’s it. What if it’s a kid?” Emily sat up, “It would explain the flexible schedule, no one’s really going to question a kid being out of school. He can approach adults without being too threatening, and other kids would trust him. Get into your parents’ gun safe and you’ve got it.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere!” Garcia sounded excited, “I will start my search and get back to you soon. _Ciao_!” She hung up.

“Good thinking, Emily,” Hotch praised, “Let’s pursue that theory.”

***

“Who’s the best technical analyst in the FBI?” Garcia’s voice echoed from the speaker in the center of the table, “That’s right, it’s me. I have three names for you.”

“Hit me, darling.” Morgan answered.

“Okay! First, we have Daryll Rogers, 17, senior in high school, missing for the days of the murders, father has several handguns including a single action colt. He’s bad news, several minor disciplinary actions on file at school, including a couple fights. He is at school today.”

“Rossi and Reid, you two take Rogers, call his parents and the school to confirm his location, and get him outside as soon as possible.” Hotch ordered, “Who’s next?”

“Tyrus Campbell, 18, junior in high school, single father with a gun, which Tyrus has brought to school before.” Garcia answered. “He is not at school today, his dad called to say he was sick.”

“JJ, Morgan, Emily, you two go to his house.” Hotch instructed, “And third?”

“Richard ‘Dick’ Brown,” Garcia laughed at the nickname, “17, sophomore, missing on the murder days, model student, but no friends. Parents have several guns and he has a history of mental health issues, personally as well as in the family. He’s also at school today.”

“Send me the address,” Hotch said, then looked at me, “Let’s go.”

We ran to the car. I was already pulling up instructions and rattling them off as we buckled in.

When we got to the school, I ran into the front office, pulling out my badge. “FBI, we’re looking for Richard Brown.”

The front desk attendant nodded and began looking, “He’s in physical education, the gym is down the main hall on the left. Do you want me to call the teacher?”

“Let him know, but don’t engage with Brown. Where are their bags?”

“Bags are required to be kept in the locker rooms.” She answered, “Is there anything else I can do?”

“Keep everyone quiet about this.” Hotch answered, and we ran down the hall, finding the gym. “Put your gun away, approach carefully. Ask the teacher to point him out.”

I nodded and opened the door, fighting to keep calm as I spotted the teacher, who walked over to me.

“How can I help you?”

I held up my badge subtly, “Please tell me who Richard Brown is.”

The teacher nodded, describing him and subtly pointing him out. “Should I call him over?”

“Please do.”

The teacher called his name and gestured for him to come over to us. Hotch entered from the other door, behind him, as he came up to us.

“Richard Brown?” I asked.

“Hey, how can I help you?” He asked nervously, “Is something wrong?”

I held up my phone, which displayed a picture of the three young kids, the most recent victims. “Do you recognize these children?”

He looked closer, then shook his head, looking genuinely confused. “No, should I?”

I swiped to the next picture: the couple. “These two people?

Another no.

I showed him the first victim, another no. I could tell he was being honest.

“Okay, that’s all, thank you.” I said, shaking my head at Hotch.

We walked out, him raising an eyebrow.

“He looked genuinely confused at every picture,” I explained, “No hint of recognition. Either he’s a superb liar or really doesn’t know what’s going on, and I think it’s the first one.”

He nodded.

My phone rang and I looked down.

**_Incoming Call From: Spencer Reid_ **

“Spencer? What’s going on?” I answered the phone immediately, putting him on speaker.

“Daryll Rogers is the unsub. He’s holding his class hostage.” Spencer sounded worried, “We need all of you here, now. He’s panicking.”

“We’re on the way now. Don’t do anything.” Hotch ordered, and we ran out of the school.

I kept running over the worst possibilities in my head. _Spencer’s in danger._ When we got to the school I jumped out, pushing past the crowds of students and police barrier, running inside. An officer was waiting for us, guiding us to the second-floor classroom where the unsub was.

“Spencer,” I breathed a sigh of relief, “You’re okay.”

“I love you.” He whispered, then turned to Hotch, “As soon as we walked in, he pulled out a gun and demanded that we get out or he’d start shooting. He has multiple guns, and ammunition for all of them. There are 25 kids, not including the unsub, plus the teacher.”

“Is he demanding anything?” Hotch asked.

“We haven’t been able to open up any lines of communication.” Rossi answered.

I was already taking my gun off and walking towards the door.

“No!” Spencer said, running to me and pulling me away, “What are you doing?”

“He’s a male young unsub, he’s scared and I’m the one most likely to be able to talk to him, but any sight of a weapon will set him off. I know what I’m doing.” I said, then pulled him into a hug, “I love you, Spencer.”

He held me tight, “If you get hurt, I’ll kill you.”

I smiled and wrapped one finger around his collar, kissing him, “I know. I’ll be safe.”

He nodded, backing up, and I knocked on the door. “Daryll Rogers? I’m unarmed. Can I come in?”

“No guns?” he yelled from inside, “And it’s just you?”

“Just me.” I confirmed, “And I took my gun off. You can search me if you want.”

“I’m not letting them go.” He answered.

“I just want to talk to you,” I said, “Just let me talk.”

“Fine. Just you.”

I reached out, slowly opening the door, slipping inside. He looked more scared than anything, guns in each hand pointed at the students in the corner, teacher standing in front of them. I kept my hands up.

“Daryll? My name is (Y/N), I’m an agent with the FBI.” I said, “Do you want to search me?”

He looked at me, saw my fairly baggy clothing, and stalked towards me, putting his guns down on a desk and patting me down.

Rookie mistake.

As soon as he bent down to pat down my legs, I kneed him in the face, punched him, and pulled him into a headlock.

“Run!” I yelled.

The students didn’t need any other encouragement, they sprinted out the door, teacher shepherding them all out as I struggled to contain Daryll. When he kicked me in the knee, I couldn’t keep holding him, and he got to his guns before I could.

“Never thought I’d get to kill an FBI agent.” The gun was levelled between my eyes.

“You already killed six people.” I said slowly, “Why me? I’m not part of your plan.”

“Fuck the plan!” Spit was flying from his mouth, “You ruined everything. Your pathetic self couldn’t even contain me.”

I don’t know what came over me, “Pathetic? You think you’re the first idiot to hold a gun to my face?” I reached down, pulling up my shirt, revealing my scar. “There’s a damn bullet inside of me. I got shot when I ran after a murderer alone.” I dropped my shirt, backing up slowly, baiting him to follow me, “You don’t scare me, Daryll, you’re an idiot kid who got into his dad’s guns and thought he’d have a little fun. I’ve had nightmares worse than you.”

He was getting angry.

“Or were you referring to my colleagues? My fiancé is out there, he got addicted to Dilaudid when someone tortured him. Agent Prentiss faked her death twice. Agent Jareau got tortured, Hotchner watched his wife die in front of him. You’re nothing to us, you’re barely a fly in the wall.” I was approaching where I wanted, “Rossi was an agent when we didn’t even have offices, Agent Morgan got accused of a murder by the man who abused him. You’re not even the most interesting case we’ve had this month.”

“Shut up.” He demanded, “Shut up! I’m going to be remembered for this.”

I laughed, “I already forgot your name.” I dived down, grabbed a gun from his back, and shot him between the eyes.

Immediately, people rushed inside. I pulled myself off the floor, panting in fear, watching his blood leak out onto the floor.

Spencer ran to me, wrapping his arms around me, “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

I laughed, the adrenaline draining from my body, “Yeah. I know.” I was ushered out of the room and downstairs, stumbling to one of the remaining ambulances.

Hotch must have followed us, because he walked up to me, “I know Spencer told you this, but that was a really dangerous move.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” I said, “But he put the guns down and it was the best move I had.”

“It was a clean shot, you’re not in trouble,” he reassured me.

I nodded, leaning against Spencer. “Yeah, good.”

I was suddenly really tired, and I looked up at Spencer, “Are the kids okay?”

“They all got out safe, no one was seriously hurt, mostly superficial wounds and shock.” He rubbed my back, “You saved them.”

“Good. That’s good.” I said.

“You’re mostly okay, you may have bruised your hip, but nothing serious, you’re lucky.” The person tending to me said, “Take some ibuprofen if it hurts and get sleep, but you’re okay.”

I nodded, “Thank you.”

“C’mon,” Spencer helped me up, “You need to give a statement and then you can go home.”

I nodded, “Sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter is the wedding!


	31. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding, the collaring ceremony, and the first dance.

I kept my eyes as the makeup artist finished and took off the apron covering my dress.

“You look amazing,” Jenna said, helping me stand up and turn around, “Okay, you can open your eyes.”

I did, slowly taking in the view. The dress flared out beautifully, highlighting my waist, the bodice fit perfectly, and my makeup was basic and simple, bringing out the color of my eyes and highlighting my cheekbones.

“One more thing!” Penelope reached around my shoulders and put on my necklace: A simple gold chain with a mobius strip pendant – one of Spencer’s presents to me. “Perfect.”

I reached up and brushed my fingers over the necklace, smiling. It hung right between my collarbones and looked amazing. All the girls crowded around me, and I smiled, loving having all of them around me.

“You ready?” JJ asked.

“As I’ll ever be.” I couldn’t stop smiling, “I’m about to marry Spencer Reid!”

“Who could’ve guessed,” Emily teased, “Our pipe cleaner is getting married.”

We all laughed at that.

“Five minutes!” Jenna said, “Five minutes until places.”

I took a deep breath, looked in the mirror, and nodded. Jenna was already holding the small tiara, and I bent down a little so she could place it.

“Got your vows?” She asked. I nodded, holding up the piece of paper, then motioning to my bodice, where I’d stored and extra one. “I’ve got the third copy, just in case.”

“And everything else is ready?” I double-checked.

“Your day will be perfect,” she assured me, helping me off the small platform, “I promise.”

We heard a knock on the door and Jenna walked over, barely cracking it. We heard soft voices and she walked back in, passing me a slip of paper. I opened it to find a small note, clearly written by Spencer.

_My Dear,  
In only a few minutes, I am going to watch you walk down the aisle and promise myself to you, to have and to hold, and I have no qualms. This is the surest I have been about anything.  
We’ve seen each other through the best and worst parts of our lives, dealt with pain and joy and love and loss, and having you by my side has made me that much stronger.  
I love you.  
Spencer_

I almost started crying. Of course, he’d write something so kind and heartfelt it would make me cry before we even got married.

“Are you ready?” Jenna asked, and I nodded.

“Let’s do this!” Penelope said, and we walked out of the makeshift dressing room.

The museum really was an amazing place to have the wedding, and they’d even rearranged the space, so we weren’t overshadowed by a giant wooly mammoth fossil. The song played for everyone to take their seats, silence fell, and the wedding march started.

I’d chosen not to have anyone ‘give me away’ - that just felt weird – so when it was my turn, I took a deep breath, pushed back my shoulders, and started walking. I heard the rustle of everyone standing up and vaguely registered remarks about my dress, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t wearing this for them, I was wearing it for one person: Spencer Reid. I kept my eyes locked on him as I walked. I saw his eyes travel up and down my body, taking in the dress, and he began tearing up.

 _You’re beautiful._ He mouthed.

I reached the dais and took one more breath before walking up the steps. I handed my bouquet to Jenna and turned to face Spencer.

“You may be seated.” The officiant said, and everyone sat down.

I only partially listened to what he was saying as I looked at Spencer.

“Having asked around, there is no single story that summarizes their relationship and move for each other. These two people are the paragon of love and bravery, risking their lives serving our country as part of the FBI. But whether it is while solving a case or simply being together, two things is constant: how well they work together, and how much they love each other. I doubt there is anyone here that could deny how much you two care for each other and help each other in every way.”

There was a general murmur of assent.

“In spirit of the love these two share for each other, they’ve asked Aaron Hotchner to share a story he thinks exemplifies this quality.”

The officiant stepped back and Hotch walked forward, unfolding a piece of paper. “Hi, I’m SSA Hotchner. Sorry, I don’t really know any other way to introduce myself.”

Everyone laughed.

“Spencer Reid joined the BAU when he was 22, acing every single test and exam we threw at him, although I don’t think he could really deal with anything we threw at him.” Hotch laughed, “(Y/N) joined a few months later, and I believe Morgan made a comment about the two of them being a nerdy match built in heaven. I guess he gets to say ‘I told you so’.” He took a deep breath, “Being part of the FBI isn’t easy. Every day, we knowingly put ourselves in danger, and I have watched both of you fight to save people at the risk of your own lives and face the worst of humanity together.

“When you two became official, I told you it couldn’t affect your work. I am happy to say you have failed.” He chuckled, and we both looked up, surprised. “I have watched you both rush to impress and challenge each other, constantly work to better yourselves, and become better agents and better people in the process.” He smiled, “Spencer, we once watched the BBC adaptation of Sherlock Holmes together. I know you hated it, but I’m going to quote it anyways.”

Spencer raised an eyebrow at him.

“(Y/N), when I say you deserve this man, and Spencer, when I say you deserve this woman, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable.” Hotch smiled at us, “You were made for each other in the most wonderful of ways and I love you both. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, pulling him into a hug.

The officiant stepped forward again, “In the spirit of expressing their love and unique story, (Y/N) and Spencer have prepared their own vows. Spencer, will you read your vows first?”

Spencer nodded and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, smiling at me and taking a deep breath. “I know I have an eidetic memory, but I really don’t want to mess this up.” He smiled as people laughed, “So here goes. (Y/N), you have seen me at my best and at my worst. You have watched me break down and fall apart and you stayed to help put the pieces back together. I have revealed the deepest, most painful parts of myself to you, and you remained unfazed. We have faced loss and pain, we’ve looked death in the eye, but we survived because we did it together. I cannot think of someone I could rather have by my side.”

He paused, looking at me as I held back tears, “Today, in front of our friends, family, coworkers, and over 40 million fossil specimens, I swear to you thusly:” he looked at me, meeting my eyes past my veil, “I, Spencer Reid, will stand by your side and support you in all that you do. I will remain faithful and true, act honestly, and continue my unwavering love for you until my last dying breath. And if there is, as unlikely as it is, a life beyond this one, I will uphold my vows then and there too.”

I couldn’t help it, I cried and reached out to hold his hand. “I love you,” I whispered.

“(Y/N), would you like to read your vows now?” the officiant prompted, and I let go of Spencer’s hand, taking out my piece of paper.

“The thought I had while writing these vows was, ‘How many ways can I say I love you?’, but that doesn’t cut it.” I began, “My first day at the BAU, you told me the likelihood of getting injured or killed on a case. I told you I didn’t care, that saving any number of lives would make it worth my sacrifice. I then risked my life to prove it, a lot.” My hand brushed over my torso, where my gunshot scar was, “I would still lay down my life in an instant, but there’s one thing I’d never give up: you. I would rather be shot a thousand times than see you get hurt. When I say I love you, that doesn’t get anywhere close to describing it.” I smiled at him, “I promise to love and cherish you, to protect you, and to keep you in my heart forever. I will spend my entire life striving to be worthy of your smile, and I hope beyond all hope I will have to earn that honor a million times over.”

Spencer’s shoulders were shaking as he cried. He dried his eyes with a handkerchief, holding my hand and squeezing it tightly.

“Please bring forward the rings.” The officiant said, and the rings were handed to him. “(Y/N) and Spencer, do you take one another as partners, from this day forward, as husband and wife?”

“We do.” Spencer and I chorused.

“And does everyone here promise to stand by this couple,” he addressed the audience, “To remind them of their vows and act as an example of love and family, and to support them?”

Everyone responded, “We do.”

“These rings represent the unbreakable circle of life and love. Please place them on each other’s ring fingers and repeat after me.” The officiant handed us the rings and we took each other’s hands, slipping them on and repeating the vows. “With this ring, I give you my heart, I vow to hold our love above all else, for the rest of our lives.”

We repeated the vows, holding each other’s hands and smiling.

“It is with great joy that I can pronounce you wedded as husband and wife.” The officiant said, “You may now lift the veil and kiss.”

Spencer reached forward, taking hold of the lace veil and placing it gently over my head, tears of joy streaming down his face as he looked at me. He took my face in his hands gently and pulled me into a kiss.

Everyone cheered as we kissed, then embraced and rocked back in forth, whispering ‘I love you’ to each other. When we broke apart, I took his hand and we walked down the aisle, smiling and waving and hugging our friends and family. When we reached the side hallway, I pulled Spencer into a much more passionate kiss, before leading him out to take photographs.

***

Jenna was the only one to walk back to the dressing room with me after we finished pictures. She silently undid the skirt and bodice, laying them gently over a couch, and retrieved the outfit Alexis had made for me. I turned away from the mirror as she helped me into it and adjusted it to make sure it looked right, then helped me into the small platform in front of the mirrors and turned me around.

I slowly looked over myself, admiring Alexis’s eye for detail. The top was a thin, lacy, tunic-style shirt with a bralette, flowing down into a short, layered circle skirt hemmed right below my ass. The leg pieces, sparkly white lace garters, poked out underneath. I looked sexy as hell.

“It’s perfect,” I said, “Absolutely perfect.”

Jenna smiled and removed the veil from my tiara before placing it back on my head, “Just wait until you see Spencer.”

“He’s changing too?” I asked.

“He’s not getting collared in a tuxedo, sweetie,” Jenna laughed, “Alexis made something for him, too.”

I nodded, not really surprised, and admired myself in the mirror for a few seconds before turning away. “Let’s go.”

Jenna led me to the small hall where the ceremony was to be held. There was a small dais, a pillow, and the boxes containing the collar and bracelet on a small table. Jenna smiled at me as I got into place. I knew Spencer would be blindfolded, but I wanted everything to be perfect.

I heard footsteps echoing, then silence, then the steps began again: consistent, measured. My eyes widened as I saw who was guiding Spencer: Aaron Hotchner.

Well that’s unexpected. I don’t really know who I had expected, but it definitely wasn’t Hotch.

I looked over Spencer, drinking in the sight of him. He wore a lacy white pair of panties, barely covering him, and a sheer robe that hid nothing. Hotch guided Spencer in front of me, then stepped back. I reached forward, wedding band shining in the soft light, and pulled the blindfold off. As soon as I’d done that, Hotch stepped forward again, pulling Spencer’s robe off and letting it fall gently to the floor.

Spencer’s eyes widened as he looked at me, but quickly regained his composure, dropping his eyes and clasping his bands behind his back.

“Kneel for me, Spencer,” I ordered, and he dropped to his knees on the pillow immediately.

Jenna picked up the larger box and opened it, offering the beautiful piece of jewelry to me. I picked it up along with one of the keys.

“Are you completely sure this is what you want?” I asked, looking down at Spencer.

His answer was immediate, “Yes, ma’am. I want to be sworn to you and collared by you. I’m sure.”

I nodded and unlocked the collar, moving behind Spencer to put it on. The small lock sat in the back, engraved with three words:

_Property of Mistress_

The metal fit perfectly around his neck and he relaxed with the lock clicked, as if releasing stress he’d been holding in his shoulders and back.

Hotch walked forward again as I returned to my place in front of Spencer, offering him the box with the bracelet.

Spencer looked up at me, “Is this truly what you want?”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything.”

He nodded, took the bracelet and the key I was holding, slipping the key onto the bracelet before clasping it shut around my wrist.

I picked up one of the remaining keys and turned to Hotch.

“Spencer and I would like you to hold onto this for us,” I said, “If something ever happens to me or Spencer and the collar needs to be removed, we trust you to do that if it’s ever necessarily. This will never be your key, but we want you to hold onto it for us.”

He held out one hand, “I would be honored.”

I gave it to him, and he stepped back. I took the other key, then knelt in front of Spencer. “I am utterly and completely in love with you, and I always will be.”

He looked up at me, “I will always love you too.”

We kissed staying together for a few seconds before I broke it off and stood up, “You’re dismissed.”

Spencer stood and walked back the way he’d come. As soon as he was out of sight, I approached Hotch.

“Spencer warned you, right?” I asked, “About the key.”

He nodded, “I don’t like having it. It feels like having someone else’s wedding ring. I suppose in a way, it is.”

“It’s only if neither of us can get ours for some reason and it’s a take it off or cut it off situation.” I answered, “Nothing else.”

“Understood,” Hotch pulled me into a hug, “Now go get ready for your dance. I’m honored to hold it for you.”

I nodded and walked back to the dressing room, Jenna following behind.

***

Jenna helped me into my third outfit of the evening, the fishtail skirt that showed off my heels. I played with the bracelet, admiring the pattern as we got ready.

“Ready?” She asked.

I nodded, “We’ll be out in a second.”

She left the room, quietly closing the door, and I took a deep breath. I turned just as the door opened again, Spencer shyly poking his head in.

“Hey, Spencer,” I smiled, rushing to the door and kissing him. “What do you think?”

“Wow.” He said, “You- you look amazing.”

I pulled him into another kiss, smiling at how I had to look up a little to see him. “So do you, Spencer.”

“Ready for our first dance?” He asked.

“Not yet,” I whispered, then kissed him again, wrapping one finger around his collar, “Mine. My Spencer.”

He hummed, “Yours.”

I took his hand and we walked out, reentering the main hall- the dais and seats were gone, replaced by the band and DJ stand, and everyone waiting. Spencer took my hand and lead me to the center of the dance floor, spinning me around before pulling me close as the music started.

We’d practiced dancing around our bedroom for weeks, but it wasn’t nearly as magical as this. Spencer swept me around the dance floor as we moved in perfect synch, eyes locked on each other. It seemed like a cliché, but the entire rest of the world melted away as we danced. The song ended as Spencer dipped me low and kissed me.

I smiled and stood up. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he whispered as the entire crowd erupted in applause.

Jenna walked forward, handing my bouquet to me. “Ready?”

I nodded, making sure the rest of the girls were assembled behind me before turning around. I closed my eyes and tossed it, then turned around to see Garcia had caught it and Morgan was already bright red.

“You’re mine, chocolate thunder,” she laughed.

The music started again, and my father walked towards me, looking at Spencer, “May I cut in?”

Spencer stood back, “Of course.”

My father offered his hand to me, and I took it, pulling him into a hug before we started dancing.

“That was a beautiful ceremony.” He said, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, dad.” I smiled.

“Where did you run off to?” He asked as we continued, “After the pictures?”

I shrugged, “Private moment with each other, we wanted to have a personal moment before the dance.”

“What about your new jewelry?” He asked. Of course, he’d missed nothing.

I brushed it off, “Just something special we wanted to do for each other.”

When we finished dancing, I found Spencer again, leaning into his chest as we swayed back and forth.

“I love you,” I whispered, relaxing at the sound of his heartbeat. “Today is perfect.”

“I love you too, and I’m really glad.”

***

We didn’t get home until late at night, and Spencer insisted on picking me up and carrying me over the threshold. I laughed as he turned so I could close the door, then gasped as he pushed me up against the wall, kissing me.

“You’ve made me an honest woman,” I laughed, holding up my hand, showing off my ring, “It’s official.”

He set me down and kissed me again, “I wouldn’t exactly describe you as honest…”

“Shut up,” I laughed.

He kissed down my neck, “But yes, it is official. You are now my wife.”

“And you’re my husband!” I couldn’t hold back my thrill at saying those words.

“And we have a honeymoon to leave for in the morning. I’ll pack your bags.” He said, “Go shower, I’ll join you in a second.” He slapped my ass lightly.

I jumped, “Spencer!”

He smiled and winked at me. “Be there in a second.”


	32. Honeymoon Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer go on your honeymoon, but you don't know where you're going.

Spencer absolutely refused to tell us where we were going. He’d bought silicone earplugs and gave me sunglasses that completely blacked out my vision for the entire trip (I was allowed to watch stuff on my phone, but had to use noise-cancelling headphones), so I was completely clueless on where we were going. Two years ago, I never would have agreed to any of this, even for a honeymoon, but Spencer was so excited I couldn’t say no. We touched down, got our bags, and Spencer led me out of the building, helping me into a car of some kind, and took out the silicone ear plugs.

“I hope you know this seriously feels like a kidnapping.” I said, “And not the sexy kind.”

“I promise it’s worth it,” he said, “Just wait a couple more minutes.”

I sighed and leaned back in my seat. When we stopped, I waited for Spencer to get everything out of the car, then he took my hand and guided me.

“Close your eyes.” He told me. I did and I felt him take the glasses off, “Okay, you can open them.”

I opened my eyes and gasped. We were standing in front of a mansion of a house, built into a hill. It was at least 6 floors and looked like a spaceship.

“Holy shit.” I said, looking around. We were at the top of a hill, towering over a city.

“Welcome to Grenada, Spain,” Spencer said, “And our honeymoon home for the next two weeks.”

“Can we go inside?” I asked. “This is amazing.”

He nodded and lead me past the car to a door, pulling out keys and unlocking the door. It opened into a room with- a pool table, a ping pong table, and a foosball table? I walked in, looking around, opening the doors to see a computer room, a small home theater, and a pool with a hot tub.

“This is the first floor?” I asked, “I could live here and be happy!”

“You’ll want to explore the entire house, trust me,” he smiled, leading me to the elevator.

“We’re staying at a house with an elevator.” I said in shock. “This is amazing.”

“There are stairs, but this is much more fun,” Spencer smiled as the door closed, moving up to the second floor, “Let’s explore.”

The second floor had two separate sitting rooms, a large dining room, a kitchen, and a TV room with a bunch of couches facing the TV. I looked out the windows (most of them were sliding doors that lead to a balcony) and gasped.

“There’s a pool.” I had no idea what to say. “There’s a second pool on the balcony.”

Spencer was grinning, “What can I say, Rossi has a lot of money. And he’s happy to let us use his home away from home away from… however many homes he has.”

We rushed up to the third floor, which had 6 bedrooms, then travelled up to the fourth, which was occupied by a jacuzzi, massive walk-in shower, and private gym (indoors and outdoors). The fifth floor was the master bedroom (a California king with an en-suite), the sixth floor was a bar and sitting room, and there was access to the roof. We went up and I looked around.

“The house we drove here in comes with the villa, and there’s a private chef who can cook anything we want. If we don’t want to drive, there’s a chauffeur, and they’ll book reservations wherever we want in the city.” Spencer told me, “It’s a little bit absurd.”

“How much does this cost?” I asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.

“Rossi’s letting us stay for two weeks for free.” He grinned, “All I had to pay for was flights and whatever we go to while we’re here.”

“Consider me impressed,” I said, admiring the view. “This is amazing.”

“Let’s go get our bags,” he said, guiding me back into the house and leading me into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, he pushed me against the wall, kissing me passionately. He didn’t pull away until the elevator stopped at the first floor, when he just walked out as if nothing happened.

I stared at him for a few seconds, a little out of breath, and followed him out. We got our bags out of the car (one suitcase for each of us, backpacks, and another suitcase with our toys) and brought them inside, putting them in the walk-in closet of the master bedroom.

“It’s almost dinnertime,” Spencer looked at his watch, “I’ve already arranged for dinner.”

“Good, that gives me some time,” I said, pulling him down to me using his collar. I kissed him hard, turning us around until Spencer’s back was to the bed, and pushed him back, straddling him. “I don’t like being sensory deprived, I much prefer being the one blindfolding you.”

I could feel him getting hard beneath me, “Yes, Mistress.”

“You’re mine,” I growled, biting his ear, “And I want what’s mine.”

“Yours,” he gasped, “I’m all yours, ma’am.”

I lifted myself up on my knees and reached down to pull down his pants, then pulled his shirt over his head, then mine, then kissed him again. “I want to spend all the time in the world teasing and using you.” I stroked him over his boxers as we kissed.

“Please,” he moaned, “Please, mistress, use me.”

I started sucking marks down his neck as I ground against his hips. “Keep begging.”

“Please, Mistress, please fuck me, please use me,” he immediately continued, “Please let me be your good slut, I’m so ready to be used my Mistress, please do whatever you want to be and use me. Fuck, I want you so bad, I need you to use me.”

I immediately pulled away, “You don’t need me to use me, you only need what I say you need.” I wrapped one hand around his throat, squeezing lightly, “Got it?”

“Yes, Mistress!” He gasped, “I’m sorry, I only need what you give me, I only need what you say I need, just please don’t stop, please.”

I hummed. “Much better. Normally, I would punish you, but we’ll save that for later. Get on your back on the bed, arms above your head.”

He scrambled to obey, and I stripped before straddling him, stroking my fingers up and down his chest as I ground down on him. Our arousal combined to make a dark spot on his boxers.

“Please,” I could see him fighting to keep his hips in place as he begged, “Please fuck me. Please let me pleasure you.”

I smiled and pulled his boxers around his ankles, stroking him a few times before lowering myself a little, teasing my entrance with his cock.

“Mistress! Please,” his breath caught in his throat, “Oh, fuck, please.”

“Use your words.” I reminded.

“Please fuck me!” He thrust up, tip pushing against my entrance, and he moaned, “Please.”

“Dirty fucking whore,” I muttered, sinking down on him, “You’re lucky you’re so pretty when you beg.”

“Ah! Fuck, thank you, Mistress,” he threw his head back before looking at me, “You feel so good, ma’am, you make your slut feel so good.”

I began riding him slowly, lifting myself up so far Spencer was barely inside of me before slamming my hips back down, loving the feeling of him filling me. I slowly sped up, watching his arms tense, knowing he wanted to touch me, hold my hips and thrust into me, but he knew better than to disobey me.

I could tell he was getting close and decided to have fun. I completely lifted myself off of him, grabbed a pillow, and tossed it on the floor. “On your knees.”

He obeyed, bemoaning the loss of me around him, and knelt on the pillow, looking up at me.

I spread my legs, “Pleasure me like the common whore you are.”

We both knew how good he was with his mouth, and he never passed up an opportunity to pleasure me and elicit as many moans as possible. He started slowly, licking all the way from my entrance to above my clit, eyes trained on mine, then he began circling my clit with his tongue, making me hum in pleasure and tangle one hand in his hair. Encouraged by my movements, he sped up, beginning to suck as well as use his tongue, focusing every movement on my clit, watching me for a reaction every time.

“Fuck, Spence,” I moaned, not caring about my domme persona, “I love your mouth so fucking much.”

He hummed happily against me and sped up again, hands pulling my legs closer as he became engrossed in his task, determined to make me orgasm as quickly as possible. Before long, I was grinding against his mouth, knowing I was close. I pushed him closer to me, grinding faster.

“Ah- yes- Just like that, Spencer- fuck, right there,” I couldn’t even form an entire sentence, “Yes- shit- right- ah!” I gasped and moaned, orgasming on his tongue, knowing he wouldn’t stop.

He kept going, licking up and down before beginning his concentration on my clit again, even as I struggled to catch my breath. He knew how to please me, carrying me from one orgasm to the next, I could see the smile in his eyes as I began grinding on his tongue again.

He made me cum two more times within the next five minutes, at which point I let go and leaned back on the bed, satisfied and grinning. “Such a good little slut.” He stayed on his knees until I sat up, “Get back on the bed, you’ve earned your orgasm.” He practically jumped onto the bed, arms above his head as I straddled him. “You can touch me.”

He reached forward and ran one hand down my chest, almost reverently. “You’re beautiful, Mistress.”

“Thank you,” I smiled, lifting myself up and beginning to ride him again. “Here’s a challenge: if you stop complimenting me, you don’t get to orgasm. If you stutter, that’s another minute before you do.”

His eyes widened, “Yes, ma’am. You’re so pretty, your body is perfect, I love the way you feel around me,” he faltered for a second, but caught himself, “I love the way you look at me when you cum, I love your taste, Mistress, I love pleasuring you, you’re so sexy when you orgasm. I- fuck-“ he groaned, knowing that would be another minute, “I love when you touch me, Mistress, you make me feel so beautiful, I love the way you look at me, I could stare into your eyes all day and never lose interest, fuck, you’re so beautiful, Mistress.”

He sounded so _honest._ From anyone else, this would sound cheesy, like they were trying to butter me up, but Spencer was just telling the truth about how he felt, and I could hear it in his tone of voice and see it in his eyes.

“Cum-“ I gasped, pushing down onto him and clenching, feeling him release inside of me.

“Fuck, Mistress,” he moaned, “Thank you, fuck, feels so good, thank you.”

I collapsed next to him, panting and hugging him tightly, “I love you, Spencer.”

I didn’t know why, but I felt tears streaming down my face.

“Ma’am?” Spencer said nervously, “(Y/N)? Are you okay?”

“No one’s ever…” I held back a sob, “No one has ever told me that before. Not all of that, there’s always some caveat or flaw but you- you just mean it.”

“Of course, I do,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around me, “I am in love with you, including what you see as your flaws. Not in spite of them. I am in love with all of you.”

I couldn’t hold back: I just cried into his chest, out of happiness and joy and releasing the pain I didn’t know I held of never being viewed that way. He kept his arms around me, rocking me gently, rubbing my back until I stopped crying.

“Will you marry me?” I whispered.

“Been there, done that,” he laughed, “I didn’t get a t-shirt, but I got a tuxedo, a ring, a collar, and a bunch of pictures for whatever that’s worth. And the best wife ever.”

I kissed him, “You’re the best husband ever.”

We stayed like that for a few minutes, just enjoying being with each other, before I got up, “I’m hungry.”

Spencer looked at his watch, “Dinner should be here any minute.”

We both pulled on clothes (I wore one of his old work shirts and pajama pants, while he wore a giant sweater and shorts) and walked downstairs.

***

We spent the next few days exploring the city, trying new foods and learning about the rich history of Grenada: well, I learned. Spencer was the tour guide and translator. At night we would either swim in the pool (which, of course, lit up), drink wine and talk, or be absolutely filthy. Or some combination of those.

One morning, as we were laying in bed, I turned to Spencer, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, what’s on your mind?” He asked, voice a little bleary from sleep.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but… why did you pick Hotch to,” I hesitated, “Be your person at the collaring ceremony?”

He bit his lip, “It’s… uh… Do you know what age regression is?”

I nodded, “In what context, sexual or non-sexual?”

“Non-sexual,” he said quickly, “I… I’ve been using it as a coping mechanism since I joined the BAU. Hotch found out about it, I was in my hotel room, sucking on a pacifier and coloring when he walked in.” Spencer looked down, “I expected him to be weirded out, but he knew what it was and… well… he acted as my caregiver for a while.”

“A caregiver being someone that helps you regress safely and takes care of you while regressed, correct?” I clarified.

He nodded, “After especially difficult cases, he’d come over with a pacifier and coloring book and crayons and help me regress to deal with it. After a while, I stopped using it as much, so…” he shrugged, “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t know how you’d react, I guess, and by the time I wanted to tell you we were already so deep in the relationship I worried you’d be mad at me for not telling you earlier.”

“Spence, I would never be mad at you for that,” I said, “You have the right to your own privacy, whether we’re dating or married or anything. I was just curious why you chose him.”

“I guess because I see him as the closest thing to a dad I have left, and I knew he wouldn’t judge what we were doing.”

“If you ever want to try regressing again, for any reason, I’m happy to help you and be your caregiver. Or call Hotch if you’d prefer.” I kissed his forehead, “Whatever you need.”

Spencer looked surprised, “Really?”

“Of course! As long as it’s a healthy coping skill, I’d never take it away from you,” I assured him, “And I’ll support you however possible.”

“Thank you.” He pulled me into a hug.

“I love you, baby,” I said.

He giggled, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This house is actually a real place in Grenada, Spain.  
> If you'd like to visualize where you and Spencer are getting it on, here's the actual villa website: http://silverfieldvilla.com/


	33. Honeymoon Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some roleplay and some domestic bliss

I adjusted my bikini straps, took a breath, and dove into the pool, beginning my laps back and forth. I loved the feeling of the cool water rushing past me, and I almost got lost in the feeling, until I stopped for a second to see someone standing by the edge of the pool.

_Shit._

The man standing over me was none other than Dr. Reid, the owner of the house, and my employer.

I brushed my hair out of my face and stood up, “Dr. Reid! You- you weren’t supposed to be home for another several hours.”

“My meeting got cancelled.” He was stone-faced as he stared at me, “I thought I’d come home, get a drink poured by my maid, maybe dip my feet in the pool. But instead I see my maid dressed like a whore in my pool.”

I suddenly remembered what I was wearing and rushed to cover my chest, “I’m so sorry, the water just looked so nice and I finished cleaning…”

“Get out of my pool.” His voice left no room for discussion, “Now.”

I lifted myself up on the edge of the pool, standing up and looking up at Dr. Reid. I wanted to get a towel to cover myself, but I felt locked in his gaze.

“Is this how you think I want my company, my house, and myself represented?” He gestured to my body, “With this whorish look? This slutty, revealing clothing?”

I dropped my eyes, “No, Sir. Please accept my sincere apologies, Sir.”

“Sorry. Doesn’t. Cut it.” He said slowly, “This is grounds for immediate termination.”

“No!” I gasped, “Please, Sir, please don’t fire me, I really do value this job, I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Why shouldn’t I send you home right now?” He asked.

I knew what he was going for, and I bit my lip, weighing my options.

“Well?”

I stepped forward and brushed one hand over the front of his pants as I looked up at him, “We could adjust my duties to include maintaining your health as well as the house, Sir.”

He looked unimpressed, “I have enough money to pay for whores a million times better than you, why should I care if you can stroke me and look pretty?”

“Just let me prove myself,” I begged, “Let me have a chance.”

“Why should I?” he asked. “Give me a reason.”

“Because I know what you really want.” I smirked, “I know what you really think about when you see me scrubbing the floors or bent over cleaning the counters.”

“And what do you presume I’m thinking about?” He looked down at me.

This is my chance. “You don’t want to fuck me when I’m on my knees or bent over on a counter. No, you want to be the one on your knees, you want to be bent over and fucked, and you want me to do it.”

“How dare you suggest-?” he roared.

“Tell me I’m wrong.” I interrupted him, growing bolder, “Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong and I’ll leave.”

“This is absurd,” he turned on his heel and began walking away.

“Stop right there,” I ordered.

He immediately froze.

“You,” I walked towards him, “Didn’t answer my question.” I walked around him, looking at him. Even though I was shorter than him, it felt like looking down at him. “Now _answer me_.”

“You’re right,” he whispered. “I want you to fuck me.”

“What a whore,” I smirked as I began undoing my bikini straps, “You watch me work and you wish, you silently beg for me to dominate you.” I dropped my bikini top to the ground. “You want to obey me, and it pains you to admit it, doesn’t it?” I released the ties on my bottoms, leaving me completely naked.

He nodded.

“I believe what you meant to say was ‘Yes, Sir’.” I told him.

Spencer looked up at me, breaking character for a split second, but dropped his eyes again almost immediately, “Yes, Sir. My apologies.”

“Follow me,” I turned on my heel and walked inside, smiling as I heard footsteps behind me. We entered the house and I lead him to the center of the room, then stopped, turning to face him, “Strip.”

He immediately obeyed, pulling off his tie and jacket, dropping them on the floor, followed by his shirt, trousers, belt, and boxers. I knew he wasn’t wearing socks or shoes.

I turned and began walking again, leading him up the stairs to the third floor and into one of the bedrooms (which I’d prepared earlier).

“Bend over the bed,” I ordered.

He immediately obeyed, spreading his legs and presenting his ass with his hands placed on his head. I trailed one finger up his crack, surprised to feel the cold touch of metal. I spread his cheeks to reveal a large metal plug nestled in his ass, glinting in the light.

“What a whore you are, Dr. Reid,” I teased, pushing the plug into him a little, “Walking around with a plug in his ass like a common slut.”

“Yes, Sir,” he gasped at the feeling, “I love feeling full, Sir.”

“Well too bad.” I gripped the plug and pulled it out, removing it slowly to make sure Spencer was comfortable.

He whined at the loss but stayed in position. I put it down, walking over to the suitcase full of toys and pulling on a strap harness, fingers trailing over the different size dildos before I picked up Spencer’s favorite, a large purple one. I pushed it into the ring of the harness and walked back to Spencer, running one hand up his back and tangling my hand in his hair.

“Go on, Dr. Reid, get my strap wet and ready for ass,” I jerked his hair towards me, “Use that pretty little mouth of yours.”

He immediately opened his mouth and started sucking the strap.

I gripped his hair tighter and pulled him towards me, making him gag around me, “Don’t be shy.”

He took the hint and began moving more quickly, working up to taking the entire thing down his throat, eyes focused on me. He kept moving until I decided he was done.

“That’s enough,” I pulled him off, “Get back in position.”

He moved back, squaring his shoulders and hips, pushing his ass out. “Yes, Sir.”

I hummed, rubbing the dildo with lube before grabbing Spencer’s hips, grinding against him, “Beg.”

“Please,” he pushed against me, “Please fuck my ass, Sir, please fuck me.”

I lined up with his ass, pushing into him in one quick stroke.

“Fuck!” He pushed his face into the bed, gasping, “Fuck, Sir, you feel so good, I love feeling you inside me.”

I pulled out slowly before shoving into him again, then began to move more quickly, finding a good pace.

“Sir, can you touch me please?” Spencer whined, “Please?”

I reached around and began stroking him slowly, hand loose around his cock.

“Good little slut, begging for your Sir to pleasure you,” I praised him, “You walk around like you’re so powerful, but you just want to be fucked and used.”

“Yes, Sir,” He bucked into my hand, “Please, I want you to make me cum.”

My hand wrapped around him tighter, increasing both the speed of my strokes and thrusts into him.

“You’re mine,” I growled, “My whore, mine to fuck and use and pleasure.”

“Yours, Sir! Yours, I’m your fucktoy, please, I’m being so good for you,” he moaned, “Please, please make me cum.”

I moved faster, passing my thumb over his tip with every stroke. “You want to cum for me?”

“Yes, please, please,” he moaned, “Fuck, I want to be good.”

I grabbed his hair, pulling him up so his ear was right next to my mouth. “Cum.”

“Fuck!” He gasped, thrusting into my hand, spurting over his chest and the bed. “Fuck, yes, thank you, Sir, ah!”

I stopped stroking him and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his neck gently. “My good slut.”

He smiled and cuddled back into me, “Thank you, Sir.”

I laid him back down on the bed and pulled out, dropping the strap onto the floor and kissing Spencer as I got onto the bed, “Of course, darling.”

Spencer kissed me, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I hummed, kissing him back, “Dinner?”

He nodded, “I, uh- just give my ass a second to recuperate.”

***

We sat on the roof of the balcony sipping wine and looking out at the view of the city. We were wrapped in blankets and Spencer was curled into my chest, breathing softly.

“Hey, Spencer?” I said, petting his hair.

He looked up, “Yes?”

“If you ever,” I thought for a second, “I know I said this already, but if you ever want to explore regression with me, I’ll do my research and explore it with you.”

He nodded, “I haven’t regressed in a while, but… I think I might want to try it again with you. Maybe.”

“There’s no rush, darling, I just want you to know that I’ll do everything I can to make you comfortable.” I assured him.

He nodded, finishing his glass before cuddling into my chest, humming happily, “I love you, can we maybe talk about this in the morning?”

“Of course, whenever you want,” I said, holding him close and leaning back to look at the sky, stars sparking.

“You’re looking at between 15 and 20 quadrillion miles of space,” Spencer informed me, “And every single one of those stars is bigger than the sun.”

“You’re the brightest star in my sky,” I giggled at the cheesy line.

He laughed too and we lay there for a few seconds, staring at the universe.

“Have you heard from the team at all?” Spencer asked suddenly.

“Nope,” I shrugged, “Not unless they’re responding to pictures of us. I think they’ve decided we don’t get to work until we get back.”

“I don’t like being in the dark,” he pouted, “But that’s probably true.”

“Cute nerd,” I sat up to kiss him.

He kissed me back, “Oh- uh, this is a weird time to bring this up but… what are you doing about birth control? Like, are you going to stay on it?”

“I don’t think we’re ready for a kid quite yet, Spencer,” I said, “I’m staying on it for now. But if you want to start having that conversation we can.”

“I think we should wait. It’s just something I was thinking about.”

I nodded and we lapsed back into silence for a few seconds.

“I do have to say, though, you dominating me and talking about breeding me…” I hummed, “You could change my mind pretty quickly.”

“You can’t negotiate once you’re in a scene,” he answered, “Your hormones are affecting your decisions and it’s like being drunk or high.”

“Spence,” I smiled, “I’ve been into BDSM longer than you have, I know. But the statement still stands, you could change my mind.” I trailed one hand down his chest.

His eyes darkened, “I might just take you up on that at some point.”

I hummed then laid back down, pretending like nothing had happened.

“You’re a menace,” he muttered, resuming his position on top of me.

I don’t know how long we stayed there, staring at the stars, wrapped in each other’s embraces. It was late at night (or very early morning?) when we made our way to bed, falling asleep immediately.


	34. Honeymoon Pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smut.

Word to the wise: Never watch any movie with Spencer Reid.

We decided to enjoy the home cinema on the first floor, and I chose _Iron Man_. Spencer was immediately critiquing the suit and science of it all, so then we moved to _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ , but he was ruining it by pointing out which actors were playing different characters. Fine, I thought, _The Princess Bride_ , but he recited it when I just wanted to watch the movie. _The Theory of Everything_? Too many inconsistencies compared to Hawking’s actual life. _Harry Potter_ was another one he could recite (with accents, while pointing out how it differed from the books).

I was desperate. There’s no way he can possibly ruin _The Lord of The Rings,_ right?

Unless he can speak every single language Tolkien created for the series and translates everything, points out the foreshadowing, and highlights book to movie changes.

Which, of course, he can.

“Fine, what do you want to watch?” I said, reclining the chair, “I am out of ideas. Any movie I think if I can think of a way you’ll ruin it.”

“I’m not ruining it!” He protested, “I’m simply aware of the flaws that screenplay adaptations have, and I can’t help but point them out. I don’t even realize I’m doing it sometimes. And why don’t you want a whisper translation?

“Because I want to hear the actors!” I exclaimed, “They were chosen for the films to be the characters.”

“Okay, so movies are off the table.” He sighed.

“I have a much better idea,” I grinned, standing up and grabbing Spencer’s hand, “C’mon.”

Apparently, a game of pool is all physics and can be predicted as easily as a movie. Also, Spencer is very good at pool. He sunk the 8-ball before half of mine were in the pockets.

“Unbelievable,” I groaned, “You cannot be good at everything.”

He grinned, kissing me, “Whoops.”

“I will find something.” I promised him.

We raced around on the motorbikes that came with the villa (seriously, Rossi, how much money do you have?), which we determined was a tie, played every video game we could think of (Spencer beat me in most of them), ended up running across the house tickling each other (there are no winners in a tickle fight, only survivors), and ended up in the indoor pool, splashing each other and laughing.

“Okay, okay,” I said, rubbing the water out of my eyes, “Tie.”

“Fine,” Spencer smiled, “What next?”

“Truth or dare?” I suggested, “I’ve got some things I want to do with you.”

His eyes widened with excitement, “Count me in. Ladies first.”

“Asking or being asked?”

“Asking,” He gestured to me, “So ask the question.”

“Spencer Reid,” I said in a formal tone, holding back laughter, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” He answered immediately.

“What’s the most hardcore porn you’ve ever watched?” I asked.

“Pornography can actually be extremely damaging to your sexual health and satisfaction, and the industry is-“

“Spencer,” I cut him off, “Answer the question.”

He sighed, “How do you qualify hardcore?”

“Whatever you think is the dirtiest, most taboo, clear-your-browser-history-repeatedly level.” I smirked.

He bit his lip, thinking, “I have watched several BDSM-party-style gangbangs with both men and women as the primary sexual partner, as well as more classic two- or three-person scenes involving machines, toys, consensual non consent, and knifeplay.”

“Dirty boy,” I teased, “Before or after we started playing together?”

“That’s technically a second question, but I’ll answer anyways. Most of what I watched before approaching you was much more tame. The,” he cleared his throat pointedly, “hardcore, as you put it, pornography became more appealing after exploring my kinks. Now, your turn, baby, truth or dare?”

I thought for a second, “Truth.”

“What’s the highest number of sexual partners you’ve been penetrated by in one scene?” He made it sound so clinical, but so sexy.

“At once in one hole, at once in all holes, or consecutively?” I smiled, “Because those are all different answers.”

“Can I ask about all three?”

“At once in one hole is two, more than that gets awkward. All holes would be…” I thought, mentally counting, “Five, I think. I was pretty deep in subspace and high on adrenaline and several orgasms at that point.”

His face was getting red with embarrassment at my candid response.

“Consecutively, I honestly don’t know,” I shrugged, “Especially if you ask number of people versus number of times, uh, switching. I’d guess over 20, but I really couldn’t be exact.”

“What-“ he started, “What was the scene?”

“Kind of like the gangbangs you’ve probably watched, but with condoms and safewords. I was tied up in the center of a room, legs and arms spread, and anyone could do what they wanted within my limits.” I smiled, remembering that night, “Jenna was my dom for that scene, she stood by and kept an eye on everyone and listened and watched for my safewords, she never took her eyes off me, and did aftercare at the end of the night.”

Spencer’s eyes were practically bulging out of his head, “That- that sounds really hot.”

“It was,” I raised my eyebrows, “Exhausting, and every part of me was sore for a while, but it was sexy as hell. Why, you like thinking about me like that?”

He dropped his eyes. “I- I actually like thinking about me like that, Mistress.”

I hummed, walking towards him, “Well, that could certainly be arranged.” I pulled him into a kiss, one leg against his crotch. “I guess it’s my turn now, isn’t it?”

He nodded.

“Spencer,” I bit his ear, “Truth or dare?”

He swallowed and tried to slow his breathing, “Truth?”

“Boring,” I sighed, “Ooh, I’ve got one. What’s one scene or roleplay you want to try that you haven’t told me about?”

“There’s not a lot of those,” he thought, “I like the idea of a royalty roleplay, but I’d criticize the period accuracy too much for it to ever really work. Maybe the scene that you mentioned earlier.”

“But I know about that,” I countered, “What’s something we haven’t discussed?”

I could tell me had an answer, “I, uh…” He lowered his voice until it was barely audible, “Fucking in the office.”

“What was that?” I asked, kissing behind his ear, “Speak up.”

“I want you to fuck me in the office,” he whispered, “I want you to bend me over my desk and fuck me so every time I sit there all I can think about is you making me beg.”

“Little whore,” I whispered, “I would love to do that with you.”

“My turn,” he said, clearly struggling to focus, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Had you thought about having a sexual relationship with me before I approached you?”

I laughed, “Everyone in the office has, Spencer, you’re just clueless. We had debates over whether you’re more dominant or submissive and what you’re into, if and when you’d lost your virginity, all of it.”

“Had you ever masturbated to the thought of us together?” He asked.

“Multiple times,” I admitted, “In several different scenarios.”

“What was the position you thought about me in the most?” He looked at me, “Or your favorite scenario before we started having sex.”

“Follow up questions, darling,” I teased, running one hand down his chest, “But I’ll allow it. I loved, well, I love thinking about having you tied to the bed and using you, keeping you in place as my little toy, maybe even having friends over so you have to be quiet, even if I have a toy against that pretty cock of yours.” I ran my hand down the front of his trousers, feeling how hard he was, “I will break you.”

“Fuck,” he shifted against my hand, “I want that.”

I hummed, “My turn, darling, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” He said immediately.

“Bend me over the side of the pool,” I kissed down his neck, hands running along his bare chest, “And fuck me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said eagerly.

I pulled him into another kiss as we slowly stripped each other down. We backed up until I was pushed against the pool wall, and as my hands slid back, I silently thanked Rossi for the smooth floors. Spencer’s hand trailed down and started teasing my entrance with his fingers.

“If you don’t have your cock inside of me within the next minute I swear,” I threatened, “I won’t let you cum.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he stopped his movements and started pushing into me slowly, letting out soft noises as he did until he was all the way in me, then he started playing with my clit as he began thrusting. “Fuck, your pussy feels so good clenching around me, Ma’am.”

“Don’t stop, Spence,” I gasped, pushing back against him.

His hands quickened against me as he kept thrusting, “Mistress, I- you- you feel so good.”

I reached behind myself and grabbed his hand, stilling his movements.

“Mistress?” he asked.

I turned around to face him, pushing myself up onto the pool ledge and wrapping my legs around him, sinking down onto him, then nuzzling into his neck.

“Fuck, Mistress,” he gasped, holding my hips and beginning to thrust again, “Please mark me.”

I sucked dark marks into his neck and moved my hips in time with his. I could feel myself getting close.

“Fuck, Spence, don’t stop,” I pulled his hair back, “Fuck, right there.”

“Cum, Mistress, I want you to cum around me,” he looked up to kiss me as I came, moaning into his mouth.

“Fuck, yes, ah,” My words were barely more than moans, “So good for me.”

His thrusts were becoming more desperate, “Mistress, I want- I want to cum for you, you make me feel so good.”

“Wait, wait until we can come together,” I kissed him, clenching around him, “My slut.”

“Yes, Mistress,” Spencer’s hands were clawing down my back.

I loved the pain of his nails on my skin, the pain making me gasp and hum.

“I’m close, Spencer,” I whispered, “Don’t stop.”

It only took a few more thrusts before I was telling him to cum, gasping at the feeling of his nails digging into me as we came together. He set me down on the poolside as we both caught our breath.

I leaned down to kiss him, “Thank you, Spencer.”

“Any time,” he smiled. “We should play truth or dare more often.”

“Whenever you’d like.”

***

“Do we have to go home?” I groaned, “This is paradise.”

“I wish we could stay here, but we do have a job. I thought you were eager to get back to catching killers.” Spencer raised an eyebrow, “Changed your mind?”

“I just like being able to relax,” I flopped back onto the bed.

“We do have a little time,” He straddled me, leaning down for a kiss, “And I can pack quickly.”

“Pack the toys last,” I muttered, pushing him off, “But we really need to get this done.”

“Spoilsport,” he sighed, turning back to the suitcases, “Fine.”

We both folded our clothes and finished putting them away, leaving out only our change of clothes for tomorrow.

“Now can we have fun time?” Spencer whined.

“Someone’s being a needy little whore,” I teased, pushing him up against a wall. “I think you’ll have to wait.”

I turned and walked away, smirking.

We spent the next couple hours wandering around the hills surrounding the house, enjoying the cool, fresh air. When we got back to the house, the sun was setting, and dinner was already set out. We sat on the couch and fed each other, ending up mostly in each other’s laps, laughing.

“I love you, Spencer,” I said, “I really mean it.”

“I love you too, honestly and truly,” he answered.

“We’re married,” I giggled.

He laughed happily, “I put a ring on it. You.”

“I don’t care about the statistics,” I yelled, “Fuck the math! I am married to Spencer Reid and that’s that.”

“Fuck the math!” He repeated loudly.

We both devolved into laughter again.

“We really need to get sleep,” he muttered, “Otherwise the next few days are going to be hell.”

“Or…” I sat up, “We could stay up all night, sleep on the plane, and let our body clocks reset.”

“And how do you suggest staying awake?” He leaned against the back of the couch.

“There’s always this,” I kissed him, “We could just fuck all night.”

He laughed, “We sound like teenagers. ‘Let’s stay up all night and fuck’ as if we don’t have jobs and lives.”

“Teenagers, huh?” I teased, “And what did the great Doctor Spencer Reid get up to as a teenager?”

“Sat in the library alone,” he shrugged, “I really had no friends, but a boy can dream.”

“Awww, that’s depressing, you really had no one?” I asked.

“Well, I wasn’t a teenager in high school for long, but in university I was studying too, so not much time for much else.”

“Well it’s a good thing you’ve loosened up a little,” I teased.

“Lucky for both of us,” he pulled my hips against his, “Otherwise this honeymoon might be a little awkward.”

“I love you,” I kissed down his neck.

“I love you too.” He answered, “Truth or dare?”

I perked up, “Ooh, we’re doing this again, okay. Truth.”

“What do you think is the sexist part of your body?”

“That’s not fair,” I muttered, “Forced self-compliments should be off-limits.”

“Well, they’re not.” He smiled and kissed me.

“I… I like my hips, I guess,” I shrugged.

“You guess?” He raised an eyebrow, “That’s not an answer.”

“I like my hips.” I said a little more confidently.

He smiled, “Better.”

“Your turn,” I avoided looking at him, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” his smile was mischievous, “Let’s see what you can come up with.”

“Seven minutes of heaven, but-“ I cut him off as his eyes widened, “Nothing below the waist. No hands, no lips, nothing below my waist.”

He whined, “Fine.”

I pulled out my phone and set a seven-minute timer, then sat back. “Time starts now.”

He flipped us over, so he was straddling me, and began kissing me, hands working quickly at the buttons of my shirt. He pushed it off my shoulders, and I silently thanked myself for not wearing a bra. Spencer moved so he was kissing my neck, finding the sensitive spot behind my ear with his teeth and tongue. I gasped and threw my head back.

“Fuck, Spence,” I struggled to get my hands out of my shirt.

“Keep your hands still,” He growled, deep in his chest, “I didn’t take your shirt off for a reason.” He ran one hand up my chest until it was resting around my throat. I could feel the warm metal of his ring. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” I said, barely thinking.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” His voice was scratchy and passionate, but still concerned, always concerned about what I wanted.

“Please,” I moaned, “Please fuck me, Sir.”

We both smiled at the honorific. Neither of really cared what we used, it was whatever felt right in the moment.

His hands were immediately at my waistband, tugging my pants down as I shifted up to let him. His clothes were off before I could even try to struggle out of my shirt to undress him.

“I told you to keep still.” His hand wrapped back around my throat, squeezing lightly, “Listen to what I tell you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and stood up, carrying me to the nearest wall, “You’re mine.”

As he did, I freed my arms, “Yours.”

“Keep your hands around me,” Spencer’s hands felt like they were everywhere at once.

He was hard, so hard he was pushing against me every time either of us moved. I knew he could tell how wet I was, there was no way I wasn’t absolutely dripping with arousal.

“Please, fuck me,” I whined, “Please, Sir.”

He hummed and pushed into me, making us both moan. Both our movements were desperate, erratic, lips all over each other’s bodies. One of Spencer’s hands was playing with my clit, making me whine.

“Spencer,” I moaned, then corrected myself, “Sir! Please, I want to cum.”

“Cum,” he answered.

I thrust my hips forward, head pushed back against the wall as I came.

“Mine,” he growled into my neck, “You’re mine.”

I nodded, “I’m yours.”

His hand was digging into my hip as he continued playing with my clit. I knew his hand had to be cramping, it wasn’t a comfortable position, but he persisted, bringing me close to my climax again.

“I want to cum in you,” he growled, “I want you to cum with me.”

I nodded desperately, “Whenever you want.”

He thrust a couple more times, “Cum with me, cum, fuck.”

I tangled my hands in his hair as we came, tugging and moaning. He pulled me down on him, biting my shoulder.

“Fuck, yes,” I whined, “Fuck, so good, thank you, Sir.”

He braced his hands against the wall, panting. “Well, that was-“

“Amazing,” I finished, “Pretty good night to finish our honeymoon, huh?”

He nodded, “Remind me to get Rossi a present. Or a big thank you note. Or… something.”

I laughed, “Boy genius forgetting the dictionary he memorized when he was what, three?”

“Two years, seven months, and twenty three days, I was sitting on the toilet and read the entire Oxford English Dictionary for the first time,” he recited.

“Nerd.” I teased, slumping against the wall.

“Shut up,” he muttered, leaning against the wall to kiss me. “I don’t need your sass right now.”

“Make me.”

He leaned down, picking me up bridal-style, “The gags aren’t packed yet, right?” He carried me to the elevator, kicking the button. “Rossi can pay to repair that if I broke it.”

I laughed as he carried me in, “He’s got the money for it.”

He held me close to his chest all the way up, bringing me to the bathroom, “Better safe than sorry.”

Of course, Spencer would think about UTIs right after we fucked. I went to the bathroom and we walked to bed (or, more accurately, I stumbled and leaned on Spencer while he half-carried me). He helped me into a shirt before climbing into bed next to me.

“See you in the morning, my darling.” He whispered, holding me close to his chest.


	35. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer get home, then turn around to go on a case.

We drove home quietly, enjoying being home. When we arrived, Spencer got out of his seat and walked around to my side, opening my door and picking me up, carrying me to the door as I laughed. I struggled to open the door, then pushed it in.

“Ready?” He asked.

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck, “Let’s go.”

He took a dramatic step across the threshold and spun me around, “We’re married!”

“We’re married,” I smiled and kissed him, “But we can’t leave the suitcases in the car.”

He pouted dramatically but put me down and we walked back out, pulling out our bags and leaving them in the door.

“Technically,” I pushed Spencer against the wall, “We never consummated the marriage in our own bed.”

“Well, that is certainly a failing on our part.” He smiled.

“Let’s go,” I took his hand and we walked back to the bedroom. I pulled him on top of me onto the bed, kissing him. “My husband.”

“My wife,” he muttered against my lips.

This wasn’t the sex that we normally had, kinky and fierce and one of us fully in power. This was softer, more passionate, both of us just taking care of each other’s bodies and wanting to be close. Spencer pulled my shirt off and took off my bra, kissing down my chest. I leaned back into the bed, letting him take his time. No matter the situation, he loved pleasuring me and worshipping my body.

“Spence,” I gasped, “Fuck, I love you.”

He looked up at me, smiling, “I love you too.”

He sucked marks onto my breasts and hips, slowly teasing my waistband down. He pulled off my pants, then began kissing up my ankles, leaving light marks on my thighs, making me gasp. He breathed against my panties, making me groan. He moved up and smiled, kissing me. His lips were a little puffy from all the marks.

“My turn,” I smiled, turning so I was on top of him.

I undid his shirt and pulled it over his head, straddling his leg and grinding down a little, just to tease him. I marked his neck dark, above where his collar covered, and worked to push his pants and boxers down, smiling deviously. I moved so I was knelt in between his legs, looked up to make sure he was watching me, and began licking a slow stripe up his dick, feeling him twitch under me. When I reached the head, I opened my mouth, sucking it lightly.

Spencer’s hand ran through my hair, “Fuck, I love your mouth.”

I hummed and slowly started sucking him more, making it as graphic as possible. When he was all the way in, pushing against the back of my throat, I shifted my position to be more comfortable and began bobbing my head, focusing on my breathing.

Spencer’s breath was catching in his throat as I loved, “(Y/N),” he panted, “I want to be inside you.”

I looked up at him, sucking and slowly moved away, making a loud popping noise as I did. I pulled off my underwear slowly, smiling at him.

“Stop being a tease,” he whined, “I want you.” He grabbed my hips and turned us around again, so I was partially pinned under him. He took his cock in his hand, rubbing it against me before slowly starting to push in.

“Fuck, Spencer,” I moaned.

He pushed in all the way, waiting for a second as we both adjusted to the feeling. He leaned down, kissing me as he began moving. I ran my hands through his hair, pulling him into a kiss as he thrust into me.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, “I love feeling you- fuck, so amazing.”

“You make me feel so good,” I answered, pulling him into another kiss.

I marked his neck on the other side, biting down when he adjusted his angle slightly and was hitting my sweet spot with every thrust.

“Not gonna last long,” he muttered, “I’m close.”

“Whenever you want,” I answered.

Less than a minute later, he grabbed my hips and pulled me up against his cock, groaning against my mouth as he came. I moaned at the feeling, his muscles shaking as he tried to catch his breath. Before I could say anything else, he moved down and started kissing my hips and trailing his fingers over my clit.

“You don’t have to,” I muttered.

“Yes, I do,” he cut me off, “And I want to.”

I decided not to argue, instead just enjoying the feeling of his lips and tongue. He knew exactly how to make me feel good, I didn’t even have to say anything. I lost myself in the feeling of his tongue and fingers, pushing inside me.

“Spence,” I groaned, “You’re about to make me…”

“Anytime,” he answered, working faster.

I moaned wordlessly and came, bucking my hips against his mouth and cumming, hands digging into the sheets. Of course, Spencer didn’t stop, bringing me to another three orgasms in quick succession, refusing to stop until I couldn’t even finish a word, instead just gasping and spitting fragments between breaths. He pulled away, moving to lay next to me, grinning as he licked his fingers off.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” I managed to gasp out as I tried to catch my breath.

He looked satisfied with himself, finishing cleaning his fingers before leaning down to kiss me. I could taste the combination of his semen and my arousal on his tongue and lips.

“Bedtime?” I asked, curling into his chest, “Fucking jetlag.”

He laughed, the sound deep against my ear. “Sure, I’ll get you a shirt.” He stood up and found a shirt for me, pulling on a sweatshirt and returning to embrace me. “Work tomorrow,” he groaned, “Sleep now.”

“Sleep is good,” I muttered, hands curling in his shirt.

My dreams were full of views from Spain and Spencer’s kisses.

***

When Spencer and I showed up at work the next day, I was immediately pulled into Hotch’s office.

“How was your honeymoon?” He asked, closing the door.

“Rossi had an unholy amount of money,” I answered, “And we enjoyed the benefits.”

He laughed, “Might as well, right?”

I shrugged. “So, what’s going on?” I knew small talk avoiding the point when I heard it.

“I realized we never got to talk about the collaring ceremony before you left, and I don’t know what Spencer told you,” He looked at me, “I just want to make sure we’re okay.”

I was careful with my words, “Spencer told me you were his caregiver when he was going through stuff and was using age regression, right?” He nodded, and I shrugged, “Then that’s all that matters. You took care of him and he chose you as the person to be with him for the ceremony and I respect that.”

“That’s… not quite everything.” Hotch looked more uncomfortable than I’d ever seen him.

I raised an eyebrow, “Care to elaborate?”

“Shit, I thought he would’ve told you. I-“ he hesitated, “I made a sexual advance on Spencer, when he wasn’t regressed obviously, and, well, that’s why I stopped acting as his caregiver. I believe what he said to me was essentially, ‘Now that I know you feel that way about me, I can’t be with you platonically’. So, it became strictly professional once again.”

I felt like my jaw was on the floor. “You mean… he didn’t outright reject you? Because that could go either way.”

“That’s how I felt, I didn’t know how to react and I just, well, I let him leave.” Hotch sighed, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I guess I just thought you deserved to know.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Was all I could think of to say.

He nodded, “We have a briefing to get to.”

I opened his door and we both walked to the briefing room, finding everyone else already there, waiting. Hotch nodded to Garcia as I took a seat, and she started.

“Everyone, meet the Flintstones. And before you ask, yes, that is their actual last name,” Garcia clicked on the projector, pulling up a picture of a happy family. “They were murdered last night on their night out at dinner. Preliminary reports are suggesting poison was used, but we don’t know what kind yet.”

The next picture was one of the family around a table, slumped back in their chairs, pale.

“Parents are Donna and Chuck, both 56, kids are, in order of age, Ally – 20, 16-year-old twins Jennifer and Aron, Andrew – 10, and one-year old baby Olive.”

“Why are we being called in?” Morgan asked, “This unsub isn’t even technically a serial killer, it could be a grudge against this one family.”

“Good question, my friend. That brings us to their home.” Garcia pulled up the next image.

One of the walls of their house, covered in red writing: _They are the first._

“That’s blood isn’t it,” I groaned.

“Unfortunately,” Garcia confirmed, “It’s actually Chuck Flintstone’s blood, he donated it about a week before the murder, they ran a rush DNA test on it.”

“We’re figuring out who he donated through and who might have had access to the blood,” Hotch explained, “But we have no idea what the unsub’s timeline is, so we need to be there ASAP. Wheels up in 30.”

We all stood up and began to leave. I motioned for Spencer to hold back, shutting the door behind Garcia.

“So Hotch wanted to make sure I knew about you two,” I said, leaning against the doorframe, “I told him what you told me. He had some extra details.”

“What did he say?” Spencer’s voice was too casual.

“Don’t bullshit me,” I snapped, “He tried to make a move and that’s why you called it off. You told him you couldn’t be with him platonically knowing that, and you stopped.”

He nodded, not saying anything.

“I don’t care if you boned our boss, Spence, really,” I sighed, “I just want to know so shit like this doesn’t happen.”

He fidgeted with his bag, “I didn’t know how you’d react.”

“Spence,” I said, almost laughing, “I’m the one who set up the scenario in which Morgan had his cock in your ass, you really think I would react that badly?”

“I...” he flushed with embarrassment at the memory, “I don’t know what I thought.”

“So, what did you mean when you told him that?”

He looked up at me, “What?”

“When you told him that you couldn’t be with him platonically knowing that. Did you mean you aren’t interested in him like that, or you would never stop thinking about him like that?”

He dropped his eyes again. I recognized the difference, though: this was how he looked when he was submissive.

“Spencer,” I said, a little bit more like a command, “Answer me.”

“I’d never be able to stop thinking about him like that… romantically or sexually… if I continued,” he muttered, “I knew it would always be a thought in my mind, a what if.”

“Why didn’t you just do it with him?”

“I was terrified, I didn’t know about what I liked and he’s experienced and my boss and I wanted it all to be right and I didn’t know how to make it that way,” he let out, “I wanted it, I wanted _him_ , I was just terrified.”

That wasn’t what I expected.

“Spencer,” I said, voice softer, “If you ever want to do something with Hotch, I certainly wouldn’t complain.”

“Really?” He looked up at me, “Are you sure?”

“I just want to know which one of us would have the other on their knees, I can see him going either way,” I grinned mischievously, “Yes, I’m sure.”

He pulled me into a hug, “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Spencer,” I whispered, “Anything.”

***

Hotch was angry at himself. Really angry.

He’d profiled the killer, he’d made guesses about where and how to find him, and he was wrong. Two more families, both with infants, were killed before we found the real killer.

When we finally caught the unsub, I slammed him into a desk and cuffed him, dragging him off. We’d found all the poison and trophies we needed to put him away for life. I handed him off to a cop and turned around, seeing Hotch pace angrily towards the car.

I rushed after him, “Hotch!” He didn’t stop, “Aaron! Take a breath.”

He turned to face me, “I should have figured it out. He was on one of Garcia’s lists and I struck him out, I didn’t think it was him.”

“None of us did either,” I answered. “We work as a team you can’t blame this on yourself.”

“There are parents and children dead because I didn’t do my job properly,” He spat, “All due respect, I absolutely can.”

“Look at me,” I ordered.

He did, looking me in the eyes, chest heaving.

“We work as a team and we make mistakes as a team,” I reminded him, “Now you can either continue blaming yourself or take the attitude of ‘at least it was only three families’, and remember there are other killers to catch.”

He nodded, leaning back against the car, wiping his forehead, “How do you do that?”

“What?”

“Just rationalize it all like that, push past all the shit we so and see, the mistakes we make,” he said, “It doesn’t get to you.”

“Spencer and I have, well, post-case rituals.” I didn’t really want to go into details, “We help each other cope and calm down, separate the job from everything else.” I held up my hand, showing him the bracelet that matched Spencer’s collar, “This helps too. It’s grounding, reminds me I’m fighting for someone.”

“Maybe I should get Jack to make something for me,” he laughed.

“I dunno, a macaroni necklace as you’re interrogating criminals might not be the best idea,” I teased.

He made a mock offended face, “Macaroni art? How dare you, we have moved past that and are firmly in the stage of melty beads and clay. Which, by the way, are not a good combination.”

I snorted at the thought, “Does that smell as gross as I think it does?”

“You have no idea,” Hotch sighed, leaning his head back, “But it makes Jack happy.”

“You can’t sacrifice your happiness, Hotch. If… if you ever want to do something with me and Spencer, let off some steam or get help coping, whether it’s wine and ice cream or something else, just tell us.” I looked him in the eyes, “You’re our friend as well as our team leader.”

He nodded, “I might take you up on that at some point. For now, though, I just want to get home.”

“I am with you there!” I said, walking to the car door, “I like my own bed.”

We drove back to the precinct, finished everything up, and drove to the airport. Morgan, JJ, Hotch, and Emily were all crashed by the time we were at cruising altitude. Rossi was absorbed in a book, leaving Reid and I to talk.

“So,” I said quietly, “I talked to Hotch.”

He looked at me, “And?”

“I just told him that if he ever needs us, for anything, we’ll be there.” I shrugged, “I don’t want to push him.”

Spencer nodded, “I’m just glad he’s not still angry at me for that.”

“It’s impossible to stay angry at you,” I smiled, poking his nose, “Not with that cute face.”

Spencer rolled his eyes, opting to kiss me rather than respond.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you too.”

“And I love quiet on a late-night plane ride,” Rossi said, “So keep it down, lovebirds.”

“You’re just mad we’ve already lasted longer than at least one of your marriages.” I answered.

“Punk,” he muttered.

“Mine,” Spencer breathed next to my ear.

“Yours,” I leaned back, looking up at him, “And you're mine.”

He nodded, “Yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Definitely isn't setting up Reader/Hotch/Spencer smut*


	36. New People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch talks to you and Spencer about stress relief.

Part of me expected married life to be different, but it really wasn’t. Spencer and I had been living and working together for so long that the only real difference was what we called our relationship. Spencer was holding onto his collar more habitually, when he was thinking or stressed or tired, just as a way to focus. I did the same thing with my bracelet, playing with the charms or twisting it around my arm. We didn’t have much time for play parties, although we went when we could, and started attending munches more regularly (when we weren’t on cases), which Spencer slowly became more comfortable with.

One night, as Spencer was driving home after a case, my work phone lit up.

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **Jessica’s got Jack tonight. Can I come over for a drink?**

“Spence,” I said, making him raise an eyebrow in response, “Are you OK with Hotch coming over for a drink?”

He nodded.

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Sure, see you soon.**

I knew he already had my address. We pulled in and got out, grabbing our bags and walking inside. Spencer took mine and started sorting the laundry as I changed, swapping out my work clothes for a nightdress. We walked back to the kitchen and I pulled out a bottle of whiskey, grabbing three glasses.

“Safewords apply here too,” I reminded him as I poured the drinks, “If you ever want this to stop, just tell me and that’s it.”

“I know, I just never expected this to happen.”

“It’s just drinks.” I passed him a glass, “What I did with you on our first night together honestly shouldn’t even have happened. We didn’t negotiate anything enough. This will be more like the dinner with Morgan and Emily, just sitting and discussing that if it’s brought up.”

He took a drink, “Right. Just drinks. Just talking.”

As if on cue, I heard a knocking at the door and walked over, unlocking and opening it. Hotch was standing there, looking more anxious that I’d ever seen him.

“Aaron,” I greeted, giving him a hug, “Good to see you.”

I used his first name on purpose – we almost never called him that in the workplace, and I was reminding him that this was separate from work. We’re just friends here.

“Thanks for letting me come over,” he stepped in and saw Spencer, “Hi, Spencer.”

Spence waved, taking another drink. “Hi, H- Aaron.”

“Do you want a glass?” I offered.

He nodded, “Please.” He walked to the island, taking a seat next to Spencer, running one hand down his back.

I passed a glass to Hotch, “Do you want to talk?”

He looked between us, thinking over his words. We both waited.

“What-“ he began, “What exactly is your dynamic and how is it different from you and I had, Spencer?”

“Spence and I have actually never discussed age regression as part of our dynamic,” I started, “We have a basic 24/7 Dom/sub dynamic in which I’m the dominant partner, but Spencer will sometimes act as the dominant in sexual situations.”

Hotch nodded slowly, “How does that work on a day-to-day basis?”

“Most of the time it doesn’t play into what happens at work,” I knew that was part of his worry, “If we’re out to dinner, I’ll order for Spencer. If he’s acting out, I’ll discipline him later. He also wears the collar all the time.”

“Why?” Hotch turned to Spencer.

“It’s calming and grounding,” he answered immediately, “It’s a reminder that someone’s looking out for me. It’s always a connection to- to my Mistress,” he smiled at me, “And it gives her control.”

I smiled at him, fiddling with the key on my bracelet.

“And you take on that responsibility?” Hotch looked at me. “All the time?”

I nodded, “I’m constantly aware that I’m looking out for him as well as myself, and I agreed to have that duty. We have safewords set up, which we can use at any time, but other than that, it’s always something I’m aware of.”

“Have you had other partners before?”

Reid and I both immediately nodded.

“In what dynamics?”

“That depends on the partner, there have been times when we’ve had other partners, but I generally remain in control, it kind of goes in layers,” I shrugged, “We’ve had times when Spencer isn’t the most submissive in the scene, but he tends to fall into that role most naturally.”

“Have you ever had non-sexual partners?”

“I have,” I glanced at Spencer, “And we’ve had non-sexual scenes together.”

I was impressed with the questions he asked.

“What do you want?” I asked, “What are you trying to get out of this?”

“Seeing Spencer at work after a weekend or night with you,” he hesitated, “Honestly I’m jealous. I know that I’m not part of this and you have your own rituals and time together, but Spencer always looks so calm and focused, and I want more of that.”

I nodded slowly, looking between him and Spencer. “So, you want the submission more than the sexual aspect of it.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t complain,” he smiled nervously, “But yes, I believe so.”

“No offense, but why not go to a professional then?” I leaned towards him as I took another drink, “Why us?”

His answer was immediate, “You know the job. You know what I’ve seen and what I’ve been through. How do you explain that to someone else?”

I nodded understandingly, “That makes sense. But I don’t want you to rush into this just because we understand your past, you need to really trust us.”

“I trust both of you with my life.” He said immediately.

“That’s different than trusting us with your submission,” Spencer said, taking the words I was about to say, “Subspace is a different level of emotional vulnerability. You are opening yourself up to manipulation and other issues. I’m not saying that it’s a bad idea, I’m just warning you.”

“I trust both of you,” He repeated, “I did my research before coming here, I understand the risks and what I’m asking for.”

“What do you want us to do for you?” I walked around the island, leaning against it as I drained my glass, “Specifically.”

“Am I allowed to say I don’t know?” His voice was more timid than I’d ever heard.

“Of course,” I said softly, “You don’t have to know. We’ll take as much time figuring this out as you need.”

“How did you two negotiate all of this?” He asked, looking between us.

“I have a list of kinks, fetishes, play scenarios, mostly sexual stuff,” I told him, “We went over that and put it three categories: Yes, maybe, and no. You also negotiate before scenes and set up safewords.”

Hotch bit his lip, “What about non-sexual, uh, scenes?”

“That depends on what we both need. If one of us feels the need to be in control, it’s a different situation and negotiation than if one of us needs to give up control. Giving up control might mean just obeying the dominant for basic tasks such as cleaning or other acts of service.” Spencer explained, “If the need is to be in control, there might be a scene in which the submissive is acting out in some way so the dominant can put them in their place, or acts as a service sub to help the dominant relax. It really depends on the specific scenario and our needs, though, there’s no set formula.”

Aaron nodded slowly, taking all of it in.

“If you want to just relax tonight, we can do that,” I offered, “Just sit down and talk or watch a movie or something.”

He nodded, “I’d really like that, actually.”

“Any movie preferences?” Spencer asked, walking over to the TV.

“Nothing childish,” Aaron responded immediately, “As long as it isn’t Disney, I’m happy.”

Spencer smiled and busied himself picking a movie, while I stayed back with Hotch.

“You seem overwhelmed,” I looked at him, “What’s going on in that crazy head of yours?”

“Just surprised that you’re so willing to do all this with me,” he shrugged, “Especially since you two are married. Most people I know aren’t this open about any of this.”

“It’s healthier. Being open about ourselves and how we find a work-life balance is important, and we’re not in the most monogamous relationship. I mean, we’ve never discussed other romantic partners, but…” I shrugged, “Neither of us have issues with a little sexual promiscuity.”

“Ma’am,” Spencer called, “I can’t find any movies I’m not going to criticize.”

I sighed. Right, that. “Any shows, Spence?”

“I’ll look.” He turned around again, searching intently.

“How do you negotiate what happens in a… scene?” Hotch asked, rolling his empty glass between his hands.

“Like Spencer said, it partially depends on what we want or need, then it’s what we feel like doing given that situation or just what we want to do. Sometimes you just set limits and let the dominant control the scene as they please, other times it’s a set scenario.” I smiled at his eyebrow raise, “Doctor and patient, teacher and student, losing your virginity, caught masturbating, there’s really no limit. Pornography is awful in its portrayal of BDSM relationships, but the scenarios aren’t completely unthinkable. You choose a scenario and dynamic and build off of it.”

Hotch nodded. “I read that some couples have contracts, do you?”

“Not currently, no,” I said, “We may end up creating one at some point, but we haven’t felt the need for one yet.”

“You mentioned your list, can I see it?”

I nodded and walked over to the table, where I’d left a printout of the list and a pen. I passed both to him, “Feel free to look over it, mark it up however you want. If we move forward with this, I’ll ask for a full list of limits, which is scanned and kept on a secure server.”

“Garcia?” He asked.

“Who else?” I smiled, “In addition, any photos, videos, or other media will be kept secure and private, only able to be accessed by me. Even Spencer can’t get into my server. I mean, I’ve shown him most of what’s in it, but he doesn’t have free access. In addition, if you ever want me to delete all traces of you from it, I will.”

“Nothing left?” He asked.

“Nothing.” I confirmed, “I wipe my personal cell regularly and it doesn’t back up to anything.”

“I found something!” Spencer said, clearly excited.

“You look over that, join us if and when you want to.” I kissed him on the cheek, “Take your time, Aaron.”

He nodded and I walked over to Spencer, pulling him into my lap on the couch. Of course, he’d chosen _Doctor Who_. Amazingly, it was the show he criticized the least, despite the multiple scientific impossibilities (‘Not impossible, just not possible for us right now’, he always said).

We were two episodes in when I heard footsteps and turned to see Hotch approaching us. Spencer and I shifted to make room and he settled against us, leaning on my shoulder. His hand drifted across the couch and his fingers entwined with Spencer’s, which I smiled at.

We were halfway through the first season when I realized how late it was. “Sorry to interrupt the snuggle party, but we all need some sleep.”

Spencer groaned, “Do we have to?”

“Yes, baby, we do,” I kissed him on the forehead, “And Aaron needs sleep too.”

Spencer grumbled but slowly sat up. I turned to Hotch to see his eyes drifting shut and opening repeatedly, clearly exhausted.

“C’mon, Hotch, I’m driving you,” I pulled him up, “We can drop of your car in the morning.”

“Sure?” he slurred his words a little, leaning against me, “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not.” My voice was firm. I turned to Spencer as I grabbed my keys and slipped on my shoes, “Get ready for bed, it’s okay if you fall asleep.”

He nodded and yawned, padding softly back to the bedroom. I got Hotch into my car and drove him home, finding Jessica at the door.

“Is he drunk?” She asked, tone almost accusing.

“Just exhausted,” I assured her, “Case was crazy and he’s tired.”

“Is Jack asleep?” Hotch looked at Jessica, “It’s past bedtime.”

“Yes, Aaron, he’s asleep.” She said, taking him from me, “Now let’s get you to bed too. Thank you, (Y/N).”

I nodded, “Of course, I’m happy to help. Have a good night, both of you.”

When I got into bed, Spencer was already breathing deeply, not even acknowledging my presence.

***

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **Sorry about last night. First time I’ve been able to relax in a while.**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **No worries, I totally get it.**

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **I finished the list.**

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **1 attachment.**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **I’ll look at it after I’ve had my morning coffee. I’ll also send you more info about how Spencer and I work with other partners and our lists. Remember, you dictate how fast this moves.**

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **Got it.  
I know. I just need something.**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Just make sure what you’re doing with us is for the right reason. If not for your sake, then for Reid’s.**

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **Understood. Talk later.**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **You’re calling the shots. ;)**


	37. Relaxation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer have some fun time with Hotch.

We didn’t have much time in the next few weeks to really sit down and talk with Hotch. Cases were flooding in and it seemed like one of us always had too much to do in too little time.

Finally, almost a month later, we had time to talk again. I sat on a chair, wearing only a thin nightdress, while Spencer knelt by my feet on the floor on a pillow, Hotch across from us. Spencer leaned against my thigh, humming as I pet his hair.

“So what do you want, Hotch?” I asked, “The kind of thing Spence and I are doing right now, or…?”

“I think so?” He shrugged, “I honestly have no idea.”

I nodded, thinking, then reached behind me, grabbed another pillow, and tossed it on the floor on the other side of my legs. “Kneel, facing me. Legs spread, sitting on your heels, hands behind your back. Keep good posture, but don’t look at me unless I tell you to.”

He started to get up to obey.

“What are the safewords?” I asked before he could take a step.

“Green is good, yellow is slow down, red or kiwi is stop.” He recited, “If I can’t talk for any reason, tap on your leg, or drop a bell or ribbon if I have one.”

“Color?” I asked, nodding with approval.

“Green.” With that, he moved forward to the pillow, dropped to his knees, and arranged himself.

It took a few seconds, but when he was done, I smiled. “You look exquisite like that, you know that?”

“Thank you,” he said, “Ma’am.”

I stood up and knelt in front of him, one finger under his chin so he looked at me. “Don’t think, just answer. Tell me what you want.”

“I want to stop thinking,” he said in a rush, “Let me let go.”

I thought for a second, then smiled. “Spencer and I are going to go back to the bedroom and get some things ready. You’re going to strip and return to this position. Fold your clothes and put them on the chair you were sitting on.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Come with me, pet,” I walked past Spencer towards the bedroom, knowing he’d follow behind me. We reached the bedroom and I walked to the drawer, while Reid obediently stayed by the foot of the bed, still on his knees. I grabbed several colors of rope. Spencer perked up at the sight of the rope. We both knew he was a total rope bunny and loved the feeling of being bound.

“Stand up, hands out,” I ordered.

He stood, presenting immediately, and I began tying a harness, rope wrapping over his shoulders and down his chest, rope sitting tight, though not uncomfortable, against his skin. I added two leg pieces, similar to rope garters, purposefully avoiding Spencer’s bulge. I clipped a specially made leash onto his collar and a small loop on the rope harness, allowing me to lead him without putting strain on the collar.

“Get on your hands and knees,” I ordered, leash wrapped around my wrist as I grabbed the rest of the rope.

We walked out of the room and back to the living room, where Aaron was waiting, still in position, completely naked. Spencer returned to his position at my side, leash still in my hand. Hotch’s eyes flashed with excitement when he saw how Spencer was tied, but maintained his stance.

“Color, Aaron?” I asked.

“Green, Mistress.”

I smiled and held up the rope I was holding, “Do you want to be tied up like Spencer?”

“Yes, Mistress,” he said immediately.

I undid one of the coils of rope, holding it against his skin, and smiling. “Arms out.” As soon as he obeyed, I began tying him, starting with a basic pentagram harness and slowly building on it, making sure he was okay with it. I chose not to bind his arms or legs, knowing the first time being bound was often strange. When I finished, I column tied the rest of the rope behind him. “Color?”

His voice was blissful, “Green, Mistress.”

I smiled and sat back down, moving Aaron closer to me. I looped one finger around the crossed ropes below his neck, not pulling, just resting my hand. Aaron was breathing softly, calm and measured, while Spencer remained silent, leaning against my thigh. I kept Reid’s leash around my wrist and scrolled through Aaron’s list (even though I’d read it several times already.

“Aaron,” I said, making him look up, “How do you feel about being sexual tonight?”

He thought for a second, “I’d like that, Mistress.”

I looked at Spencer, who was already smiling, and asked him the same question.

“Anything, Mistress,” he said, “Whatever you want.”

“Aaron, you’re going to stay completely still until I tell you otherwise. Just let us take care of you.” I left no room for debate. “Spencer, I want you to pleasure Aaron with your mouth.”

Spencer shifted and leaned forward, slowly beginning to tease Hotch, licking around his tip and slowly making him go from aroused to rock-hard with need. As soon as he could, Reid began taking Aaron, making him gasp. I watched Hotch’s arms and legs tense, but he stayed silent and in place. I smiled and leaned back, enjoying the scene in front of me. I knew Spencer was working eagerly on Aaron and doing a good job – Hotch wasn’t good at hiding his arousal.

“Mistress,” Hotch gasped, “Your pet’s mouth feels so good.”

“I know.” I smiled, choosing not to respond to what I knew he was getting at.

Aaron gasped and Spencer hollowed his cheeks around him, sucking harder, “Fuck, Mistress, it’s so hard to stay still.”

“You want to fuck my pet’s mouth?” I ran one hand through Aaron’s hair as I tugged Spencer’s leash in encouragement.

Aaron nodded desperately, “Please, Mistress, let me fuck your pet’s mouth.”

I gripped his hair harder, “Do you deserve it?”

Hotch whined, “What?”

“Do you deserve it?” I said slowly, “Do you think you deserve to fuck my pet’s mouth.”

“Only if you say so, Mistress.” He gasped.

“Spencer, off,” I ordered, “Stand up.”

He immediately obeyed, standing. I reached forward and undid the leg pieces of his harness, stripping Spencer of his boxers, then retying the rope.

“Aaron, on your back,” I said, “Spence, you’re going to fuck his face while you suck him.”

Spencer’s eyes flashed with excitement as Aaron got into position, then got into place, waiting for my cue.

“Color, both of you?” They both immediately indicated green. I reached over to a small table, grabbing a bell from one of the drawers and handing it to Hotch, “Don’t be afraid to use this.”

He nodded, taking it.

“Go ahead, Spence,” I encouraged.

This setup gave Aaron what he needed: the pleasure of Spencer’s mouth, but an utter release of control. Spencer controlled their situation (although I controlled what he did), which forced Hotch to be completely at his mercy.

Spencer bobbed his head eagerly, but shifted his hips slowly, clearly aware that Aaron wasn’t nearly as used to this as he was. But when the older man pushed his head up, fighting to take more of Spencer’s cock, he stopped being nice, pushing his hips down, fully face-fucking Aaron. Both boys were making such beautiful noises, pleasuring each other as they pleasured themselves, and I spread my legs, lazily trailing one leg up past the edge of my skirt to my pussy. I’d not bothered to wear underwear and could therefore slip a finger between the folds of my pussy, feeling how wet with arousal I was. I played with myself slowly, enjoying the scene in front of me.

Spencer’s noises were high and throaty, while Aaron’s were deep groans, reverberating in his chest. I could hear both of them getting closer to their climax but decided I would wait a little longer.

Spencer moved his head off Aaron’s dick, “Mistress?”

“Yes?” I raised an eyebrow, smiling when Hotch whined at the loss of Spencer’s mouth.

“I- I’m getting close, ma’am, and I think Aaron is too,” he said between breaths, not noticing my hand between my legs, “I don’t know how much longer I can last.”

“You’ll last as long as I tell you to, whore,” I jerked his leash, making him fully look at me. “And Aaron will do the same.”

Spencer finally spotted my hand between my legs and looked up at me, “But what about you, Mistress?”

“Just because you finish doesn’t mean we’re done,” I said firmly, “Now get back to work.”

He didn’t respond, electing instead to immediately go back to pleasuring Aaron. I watched carefully, keeping an eye on the small bell in Hotch’s hand. I knew Spencer was getting close and fighting his needs – I could see it in the way he tensed every time Aaron made a sound around him. From the looks of it, Hotch was getting close too.

“Both of you, stop, now,” I ordered. They immediately froze. “Spencer, off, back in position.”

Spencer moved back to his position on the pillow, but Aaron stayed in position.

“Aaron,” I ordered as he looked up at me, “Spencer is going to suck you off while I ride your face. You can’t cum until you make me cum.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he said, waiting for us to get into position.

Spencer moved to kneel between Aaron’s legs, hands clasped behind his back. I straddled Aaron, facing Spencer. I nodded and Spencer began sucking, making Hotch tense. I slowly lowered my hips, feeling Aaron’s breath against my pussy, teasing him.

“Mistress, please,” He begged, “Let me please you.”

I lowered myself onto his mouth, feeling his tongue against my clit as he worked to pleasure me. He wasn’t as skilled as Spencer, didn’t know exactly how to pleasure me, but he still worked to pleasure me, almost making me lose my balance a couple times.

“Fuck, Aaron,” I groaned, “You’re being so good.”

He moaned happily against me, sucking my clit, making me catch myself on my hands. I tensed and ground down against his mouth, getting closer to my climax with every movement.

“Aaron, fuck, just like that,” I moaned, “I’m going to- ah- fuck.” I came, groaning and grinding against him.

When I lifted my hips, letting Aaron take a break, he whined, “Mistress, please let me cum.”

“Beg,” I ordered, moving away from straddling Aaron and stroking his hair. “Show me how much you want it.”

“Please, Mistress,” he groaned, “Please let me cum, please, I’ve been so good for you. I want it so bad, Mistress.”

Spencer looked up at me, nodding a little.

“Cum,” I ordered, pulling his hair and forcing him to look at me as he came.

He locked eyes with me as he came in Spencer’s mouth, bucking his hips and gasping. “F-fuck, Mistress, so- shit, so good.”

Spencer sat up, opening his mouth to display Hotch’s semen.

I hummed, reaching down to stroke him as I bit his ear, whispering, “Do you want to swallow?”

He nodded.

“Aaron, come here,” I said, letting him lean against my leg as he looked at Spencer, “Spencer, swallow.”

He smiled and closed his mouth, swallowing. Hotch hummed, leaning against my shoulder.

“Fuck,” he whispered, “That’s hot.”

I smiled and ran my hand through his hair, letting him relax, “You like seeing Spencer swallow your cum?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he whispered.

Spencer smiled and wiggled happily, sitting back on his knees.

“Good little pet,” I praised, rubbing his back gently. “Both of you did so good for me.”

Aaron shivered a bit, snuggling into me more.

“Spencer, can you grab a blanket?” I asked.

He immediately stood up and took one off the back of the couch, opening the blanket and spreading it across Aaron and me before returning to his position. I tucked the blanket around Aaron and pulled him closer to me, letting him relax.

“Thank you,” he whispered, “I needed that.”

“Of course, Aaron, we’re here to help,” I answered.

“Hey… Spence?” He said shyly.

Spencer looked up, “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for springing my feelings on you all those years ago,” He sighed, “I shouldn’t have done that to you all of a sudden.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, I freaked out because I didn’t know whether you meant everything you said,” Spencer looked embarrassed, “I was terrified of being honest.”

I smiled, staying silent as I looked between them. I could tell how badly this had been weighing on both of them.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Reid smiled, “You helped me through a lot of the hardest parts of my life, and you took care of me when I needed it.”

Aaron nodded, “As much as you want to take care of me and help me, I want to do that for you too.”

“Hey, Hotch,” I said, making him look up, “Do you want do stay here tonight or do you want me to bring you home later?”

“I’m okay going home, just not yet.”

“Let’s get on the couch,” I said, helping Aaron up and onto the couch, “Spencer, you too.”

Spencer nodded, joining us on the couch, putting his head on Aaron’s lap and humming happily.

“Now I see why Spencer is so relaxed after being with you,” Hotch smiled, “I’m blissed out.”

“We’re both happy to help you,” I reminded him, “If this helps you, then we’ll do it with you.”

***

I drove Hotch home, unlocking the door and helping him into bed.

“Good night, Aaron,” I kissed him on the forehead.

“Thank you,” he hummed, turning over, “Tonight really helped.”

“Of course, just make sure you take care of yourself,” I reminded him, “If you start feeling weird, tell me.”

He nodded.

“Seriously, if anything feels weird or off, text me or talk to me.” I ruffled his hair, “Now good night.”

I locked the door and drove home, finding Spencer sitting on the couch, waiting for me. “Is he okay?”

I nodded, “Yeah, and I reminded him to keep an eye on how he’s feeling.” I sat next to Spencer, kissing him. “How are you?”

“I’m good, ma’am,” he leaned against me, “I liked tonight.”

“You’re not feeling weird about having a relationship with Hotch?”

“I’m your husband, and that’s not changing,” he said firmly, “I may still have some feelings for Hotch, but not like what I have for you.”

“Ready for bed?”

Spencer smiled and stood, offering his hand, “Are we actually sleeping?”

I shrugged, taking his hand, “Well, you never actually orgasmed tonight, so I could take care of that first.”

He smiled as we walked back to the bedroom.


	38. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer decides to be a brat, so you punish him.

Spencer was standing up, cuffs attached to the ceiling, toes barely touching the ground. His eyes were half-closed with exhaustion and arousal and his cock was bound by a cock ring, which connected to an ass plug. I walked around him, heels clicking softly, running the cane through my hand. Without warning, I struck Spencer’s ass hard, making him gasp and pull away, struggling to move.

“Twenty, Mistress,” he whined.

“Remind me, little whore,” I said, voice falsely sweet, “Why am I punishing you?”

“Because-“ he took a second to catch his breath, “Because I was disobedient.”

“Be specific, slut,” I growled.

“You were away on a case and I had to stay back,” he began.

“I know what the circumstances were,” I interrupted, “Remind me what you did.”

“I touched and came without permission, while you were away on a case. Multiple times.”

“And?” I prompted.

Spencer sighed, “I sent you pictures and was being a brat about it, I degraded you even though I’m your slut.”

I hit him with the cane again, “Yes, you are. My slut.”

He gasped and tensed again, “Twenty-one, Mistress!”

“You’re such a fucking whore, you couldn’t even ask first,” I hissed, “You decided not to ask me before you touched or came, you thought you could have control for a while, and this is what you get. This is what happens if you disobey me.”

“Yes, Mistress, I’m sorry, Mistress,” Spencer hung his head.

“And above all that, you thought you could call me _your_ slut? You think you can do what you want and degrade me and get away with it?” I spanked him again, then reached up, pulling his hair so he had to look at me, “What did you think would happen?”

“Twenty-two! I- I don’t know, Mistress, I just needed it so badly.”

“No.” I stopped him. “You didn’t need it. You don’t need to touch, or cum, or do anything unless I tell you to.”

“I wanted it, Mistress, I just really wanted it.”

“And why did you think you could degrade me?” I raised an eyebrow, “Did you _need_ that too?”

Reid immediately shook his head, “No, I just- I don’t know what I was thinking, Mistress, I’m sorry.”

“There’s a toy I’ve been meaning to try out,” I said, as if I was suddenly thinking of it, “Let’s try it out, shall we?”

I walked over to the drawer, pulling out a cock cage, knowing Spencer couldn’t see me. I returned to Spencer, uncuffing him from the ceiling and helping him slowly down, bending him over the bed.

“I don’t think your ass is quite red enough,” I ran one hand over the red marks covering his butt, “You can take a few more strikes, right? Color?”

“Green,” he panted, “Fuck.”

I picked up the cane again, striking Spencer three more times in quick succession, making him grind into the bed.

“Twenty-three,” he panted, “Twenty-four, twenty-five, Mistress.”

“Much better,” I hummed, “Five for every times you came without permission.”

He nodded. I reached forward and slowly started working the metal plug out of his ass, making Spencer tense at first, but his exhaustion made him relax, letting me work it out more quickly. I slipped it off his cock, stroking him a few times before putting it down. Then, I picked up the cock cage and held it in front of his face.

“Color, Spence?” I asked, rubbing his back.

He whined, then thought for a second, “Green.”

“Are you sure?” I double-checked.

Spencer nodded, “Just really regretting touching myself.” He laughed a little, a tired, breathy laugh.

I stroked him a couple times, then began slowly working the cage on. When it was fully settled around his cock and balls, I locked the cage and slipped the key onto my bracelet. Spencer could go to the bathroom in this cage, but that was about it.

“I’m going to get aloe vera, stay where you are, okay?” I asked, waiting for him to nod before I walked to the bathroom, finding the bottle and walking back, opening it and rubbing it over his ass, trying to keep my touch as light as possible.

He hissed at first, but relaxed at the feeling, hips sinking into the sheets as he released the tension in his hips and legs. I finished and set the aloe vera aside, helping Spencer into a zip-up sweatshirt before getting dressed myself, then climbing into bed, pulling Spencer on top of me, so he was face-down, resting on my chest.

“This is going to be torture,” he muttered.

“Yeah, but you deserve it,” I reminded him, kissing his forehead, “Sleep well, pet.”

***

The cage was still on when we got home from a case a week later. Spencer’s ass was mostly healed, but he absolutely despised the cage. Especially because we normally ended up having some fun in the hotel during cases, but not this time. As soon as the door closed behind us, Spencer pulled me into a kiss, crotch pushing against my hip.

“Mistress,” he whined, “Please.”

“Please what?” I asked, leaning against the door casually.

“I’ve been so good this week,” Spencer whined, barely able to control the grinding of his hips, “I took my punishment, please, let me cum for you, I want it so bad, fuck, please.”

I slowly unbuttoned his shirt as he begged, trailing my fingers down his chest. When it was fully unbuttoned, I pushed it off his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. I undid his pants and let them drop to the floor too, ghosting my hand over the bulge in his boxers.

“Mistress,” Spencer gasped, “Please.”

I took Reid’s hand and led him back to the bedroom. “Kneel.”

Spencer dropped to his knees and looked up at me, hands clasped behind him and legs spread. I slowly began stripping, making him whine as I slowly exposed myself, running my hands down my body, teasing my nipples and reaching between my legs.

“Mistress, please let me pleasure you,” Spencer begged, “Please let me taste you and make you feel good.”

“You barely deserve to grind on my leg,” I answered, “But I’ll let you try.”

I walked over to the bed, laying down and spreading my legs. Spencer slowly climbed up and positioned himself between my thighs, almost drooling.

“Mistress, may I pleasure you?” He looked up at me.

I nodded. He lowered his head and began slowly licking and sucking. I ran one hand through his hair, pushing him down towards me. Spencer whined and worked faster, sucking my clit hard and moaning against me.

“You have two minutes,” I warned, glancing at my watch. I knew he could do it, but he’d have to work hard.

Spencer began almost desperately pleasuring me, breath heavy as he worked. He focused on my clit, sucking and humming gently, sending waves of pleasure through me.

“Spence, fuck, good little slut,” I moaned, pushing my head back into the pillows behind me.

He reached forward and pulled my hips up, pushing his tongue deep inside me as he brought me closer to my orgasm. My hand tightened in his hair, the only warning he got before I let out a moan and came, pushing him against my pussy. Spencer stayed for a second, eagerly tasting my arousal before lifting his head, smiling.

“Did I succeed, Mistress?”

I glanced at my watch, realized I’d forgotten when we started, and then decided I didn’t care. “Yes, you did, my good little slut.”

He beamed at the praise, then shifted a little.

“Do you want something?” I asked as I sat up, “Use your words.”

“Ma’am, if you would,” he shifted nervously, “I’m not feeling so good.”

“And what do you want me to do about that?”

“Please, please take the cage off, ma’am,” Spencer finally broke, fingers digging into his thighs as he fought not to touch, “Please.”

I thought for a second, then leaned forward to kiss him, undoing my bracelet to retrieve the key and unlocking the cage, slowly taking it off, feeling Spencer get hard as it was removed. I smiled and stroked him gently as he whined into my shoulder.

“Fuck, Mistress, feels so good,” he babbled, “Love your hand, feels so good, thank you, thank you, fuck, it’s been so long, I need you.”

He was so aroused his cock was already leaking precum, whining and bucking his hips up. I stroked his cock faster, making him bite my shoulder.

“You’ve been so good for me all week,” I praised, “You took your punishment so well, I’m so proud of you.”

He blushed and whined a little at the praise, moving to kiss me. “Thank you, Mistress.”

I kissed him, smiling, “Of course, my good little whore.” I stroked him faster, making him gasp and moan into my mouth.

“Mistress, please, fuck, I’m so close,” he whined, “I’ve been so close all week, I’ve been thinking about you, I want you so bad, I want to cum, please.”

“Already?” I teased, “You already want to cum for me?”

He nodded eagerly, “Please, please, please let me cum.”

I let go.

“Mistress! Fuck, please, why, I want it so bad,” he whined, “Fuck, I want it so bad.”

“I know you do, my little whore.” I smiled, “But it’s so fun to see you whine and beg.”

“What do you want me to do?” Spencer asked, “Please, I’ll do anything.”

I stood up and walked to the toy drawer, grabbing a vibrator. Spencer saw it and groaned. I sat back on the bed behind Spencer, pulling him between my legs, and turning the vibrator on, putting it gently against his cock. Spencer bucked his hips up, gasping.

“Please, mistress,” he whined, “Fuck, I want you so bad, it feels so good.”

“Oh, it does? It feels good? You want to cum?” I said, voice mocking, “I don’t know what you want if you just say it feels good.”

“Mistress, please, I want to cum, I want to cum for you.” Spencer moaned, back arching against me.

I turned the vibrator up, holding it against the tip of his cock, and Spencer almost screamed, grinding up against the vibrator.

“Mistress- please- fuck-“ he gasped, “Need- fuck- ma’am- want to cum.”

I turned it up again, wrapping one hand around his throat and choking him. Spencer couldn’t talk now, just gasp and whine.

I leaned forward, “Cum.”

Spencer gasped and his hips bucked up as he came all over his chest, whining and moaning. I released his throat and turned the vibrator off, and he gasped, leaning back against me.

“Fuck, Mistress,” he panted, “Thank you.”

I pet his hair gently, keeping my position sitting up as Spencer struggled to catch his breath, sagging against me.

“Thank you,” Spencer whispered.

“Of course, my love,” I moved to kiss him, cradling his head in my arm. “anything for you.”

He smiled lazily, laying on the bed, allowing me to get up and get a towel. I wiped Spencer off gently, kissing him as I did, making sure to be careful where he was sensitive. I put the towel on the floor in the bathroom, moving back to the bed and pulling Spencer into my lap. He smiled and cuddled against my thigh, breathing slowly.

“You okay, Spence?” I asked.

He nodded, “Glad that thing is off.”

I smiled and pet his hair, “But you were okay with it?”

He nodded.

“I love you, baby.” I kissed him.

“Love you too, ma’am,” he kissed me back, smiling, then curled back into my thigh.

“Is the light too much?” I asked, knowing he was more sensitive after intense scenes.

He nodded and I grabbed a pillow, moving him onto it before getting nightshirts and turning the light off, walking back to the bed and helping Spencer into the shirt, pulling down the covers and cuddling close to Reid, pulling the covers above us. Spencer nuzzled into my chest and hummed happily.

“Good night, Mistress.” He mumbled.

I kissed his head, “Good night, Spence.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you caught the Psycho Beach Party reference, you're my friend now.  
> I would peg Thomas Gibson in an instant.


	39. New Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer start to have a conversation and have some personal time together.  
> Spencer introduces you to another part of himself.

“Hey, Spence, I need to talk to you about something.” I waited for him to look up, “I have an appointment to get my IUD removed.”

“Okay?” he looked confused as he sipped his coffee. “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t want to have to get it removed before the five-year term,” I hesitated, “And I know we’ve talked about having kids before, and I can go on the pill or something before we want to, I just… I wanted to know how you felt about it.”

Spencer’s eyes widened with understanding. “Oh. Right.”

“You don’t have to give me an answer now, and we can talk more later. I just wanted to bring it up sooner rather than later so I can plan.” I shrugged, fighting to stay casual, “So that we can plan.”

I knew what I wanted: I wanted to get it removed and have kids with him, I wanted to be with him for my entire life and see his smile as we raised children together. I’d seen how he was with kids, he doted on his godson Henry, and I knew he’d love his- _our_ children even more. But I wasn’t going to pressure him into it. This was something we had to decide on together.

I wandered back to the bedroom, leaving Spencer alone with his thoughts.

**_Message to: JJ  
_ ** **911 on a coffee date?**

I pulled off my clothes and slowly got dressed, deciding on a casual jean and t-shirt combination.

**_Message from: JJ  
_ ** **Sure, I’d love to get away for a while. See you soon?**

I found a coffee shop between us and texted her the address, then walked back to the kitchen, finding Spencer still sipping his coffee and thinking.

“Hey, I’m going to go out with JJ, unless you want to talk.”

He shook his head, seemingly staring off into nothing. “Go ahead, we can talk when you get back.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, walking over to him and rubbing one shoulder, “I can stay, and we can talk if you want.”

He looked up, smiling at me, “I’m sure. See you when you get back, I love you.”

I kissed him, “Love you too.”

***

“Alright, what are we here for?” JJ asked, sliding my coffee to me, “You wouldn’t call me on our off day for nothing.”

“So… Spence and I have talked about having kids a few times.”

“Are you…” her eyes grew wide as she asked, “Are you pregnant?”

I shook my head, “No, I’ve still got an IUD, but it’s coming out soon. And since we’ve had the conversation before, I know it’s a good time to talk about it, but it’s hard to approach it with Spencer.”

“Okay, you do realize you two are the most open people I know.” She rolled her eyes, “How do you expect me to give you any advice?”

“How did you talk to Will about it?”

She shrugged, “It just came up in pillow talk a lot, I guess. The time just felt right.”

“Spencer and I don’t really have the same kind of, uh, pillow talk.” I shifted a little, “It’s either a lot of dirty talk or kisses and ‘I love you’ over and over.”

“So, bring it up.” She gave me a look that said, ‘why do you even have to talk to me about this’. “Talk to him about it, bring it up, even if it is part of dirty talk or whatever. Just bring it into the conversation.”

“But are we ready? I don’t know if we’re ready to have kids. I mean, Spencer’s great with Henry, you know that, but I don’t know if we’ll be good parents.” I took a drink, trying to hide my fear.

“You two will be amazing parents.” She reassured me, “Just take a breath and talk to him about it.”

“How do I start that conversation?” I groaned.

“’Hey, Reid, can we talk about having kids?’” JJ shrugged, “Just find something.”

“We can literally talk about anything else, why can’t I do this?” I sighed.

“Kids are scary, but you’ll both be amazing parents,” she reassured, “Just trust your instincts and talk to him.”

“I just can’t stand the idea of messing it up.”

“I honestly don’t understand why you even wanted to talk to me,” JJ smiled, “You really have this under control. Just one thing.”

“What?” I sat up, expecting advice.

“You have to tell me as soon as you get pregnant.” She smiled, “I can’t imagine what adorable babies you’re going to make."

“Deal,” I smiled, “If I ever manage to talk to Spence about it.”

***

I picked up ice cream and alcohol on the way home, even though it was barely midday, mostly to avoid having the conversation with Spencer. I knew it would be okay, that we were always good at talking to each other, but this conversation was just one I was afraid of. Finally, when I couldn’t avoid it anymore, I drove home, picked up the food, and walked inside. Spencer wasn’t inside, so I put the food away and walked to the bedroom.

“Spence?” I asked, peeking into the bedroom. I didn’t see him and was starting to get nervous now. “Spencer, where are you?”

I peeked inside the bathroom to find Spencer curled up in the shower, letting the water wash over him.

“Spencer?” I crouched next to the tub, rubbing his back, “Baby, talk to me, what’s wrong?”

He leaned against the side of the sub, soaking my shirt with his wet hair, but I didn’t care.

“Are you mad at me?” his voice was barely more than a whisper.

I was shocked, “No, not at all, why would you ever think that?”

“You left to talk to JJ, and-“ his voice caught, “I don’t know, I just feel awful.”

“Spencer, sweetheart,” I pulled him against me, “I’m not mad at you at all, I could never be.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

I took a deep breath, “I want to talk to you about having kids.”

“That’s all it was?” Spencer looked up at me, “Just having kids?”

I nodded, laughing at myself, “I know, it’s really dumb, but I got scared for no reason, so I went to JJ.”

“Why did you get scared?” He asked.

I shrugged, “I know you want kids, and after Maeve and everything, I just really wanted to make sure I did it right, you know?”

“We can wait as long as you need,” he assured me, “Whenever we’re both ready, and not a moment before.”

I nodded, “Thank you.”

I looked up at the shower. Most of my shirt was wet at this point, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Should I just get in and shower with you?”

Spencer grinned, “I thought you’d never ask.”

I stepped back and pulled off my clothes, joining him. It was slow and intimate, I slowly rubbed conditioner into Spencer’s scalp, he did the same in turn. We spent several minutes after we were both completely clean kissing, until the water started to get cold.

“Bed?” I suggested.

Spencer nodded and we got out, toweling off. I laughed at how messy his hair was, even after he tried to use his fingers to brush it out. We walked into the bedroom and flopped down on the bed, hands entwined, staring at the ceiling.

“Are we ready to have kids?” I asked, turning to look at Spencer.

He shrugged, “I don’t know if we’ll ever be completely ready, but I’m confident in our ability to not completely mess it up.”

I laughed, “I guess that’s the best we can hope for.” I moved to straddle him, kissing his neck.

“Want to practice?”

I snorted, “That’s officially the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said.”

He laughed, “That’s fair. You didn’t answer the question, though.”

“You know I’m always happy to fuck you,” I moved up to kiss him.

Spencer’s eyes flashed as he flipped us over, pinning my wrists above my head. I smiled at the movement, clearly showing he wanted to be in control.

“I think I’m going to fuck you,” he growled, biting my neck.

I wrestled one wrist free and wrapped a finger around his collar, “You think so?”

He wasn’t giving up easily, “You’re mine. That’s what your bracelet means.” His hand wrapped around mine and pinned it again. He leaned down, biting at my neck, transferring both my wrists to be under one of his hands so the other could trace down my body, gripping my hip.

“Spence,” I gasped.

He looked up at me, lifting an eyebrow, “Yes?”

“I want you,” was all I could think so say.

He smiled, an almost animalistic grin, as he slowly marked his way down my body, leaving bite marks and hickeys from my neck to my hips. He eventually had to let go of my wrists, but I kept them in place, arms clenching.

“Such a pretty little pussy,” he growled, voice deep and commanding. “Seems almost a shame to ruin it. Oh, well.”

With that, he pushed my legs open and began finger-fucking me as he sucked mercilessly on my clit. I gasped and moaned, hips bucking, but he was relentless.

“Spencer,” I moaned, “Fuck.”

He hummed at that, making me tremble with pleasure. He moved up for a second, fingers not stopping, “Yes?”

“Your mouth feels so good,” I gasped, eyes clenched shut as he curled his fingers to hit my G-spot, “Ah! So- so good.”

“You can cum when you want, darling,” he smiled and moved back down, resuming his glorious attack on my clit.

I lost myself in the feeling of his mouth, turning my arms so I could dig my fingers into the sheets as I came so many times, I lost count, breath little more than moaning gasps. I felt like I was floating on a million clouds of pleasure.

Spencer said something, but I couldn’t focus on his voice enough to hear it. It was only when he stopped, moving so his lips were next to my ear, that I managed to make out his words.

“Color, baby?”

I smiled at the nickname, “Green. I want you to fuck me, Spencer.”

“Naughty girl,” he teased.

“You know you love it.”

“I never denied it.” He smiled, giving me a kiss before helping me into a more comfortable position. “You’re so pretty.”

I ducked my head at the compliment, smiling. “Thank you.”

Spencer stroked himself a few times before rubbing his tip against my entrance, making me whine.

“Spence,” I groaned, “Just fuck me.”

He smiled and pushed into me, making us both moan. He waited for a few seconds when he was all the way inside, letting me adjust, taking the time to kiss me deeply.

When he began moving, I braced my hands on the headboard and lost myself in the feeling, the snapping of his hips, his hands on my waist, the deep grunts and moans.

“You feel so good,” Spencer groaned, “So fucking good around me.”

I couldn’t find the words to respond, I was so lost in the pleasure.

“Want you to cum with me,” he said, and I nodded. It took another minute or so before he leaned close to me, one hand braced above me as he growled, “Cum.”

I clenched around him as my orgasm washed over me, unable to form any coherent words. I felt him push deep inside of me and felt his semen pulse into me. I didn’t even register the fact that he’d bitten my shoulder when he came for several seconds, until I finally felt the dull throbbing and looked to see a dark bite mark.

“Fuck,” I managed.

He smiled and kissed me, slowly moving out of me. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, head falling back against the headboard as I caught my breath. “You should have emotional breakdowns more often if this is the result.”

He laughed, “Yeah, no thanks. Just talk to me next time.”

“Deal.” I looked at my watch and groaned, “What the fuck, how is it only 3 PM?”

“Time is a social construct, so it can really be whatever time you want it to be.” Spencer answered immediately, “Well, not necessarily a _social_ construct, but…”

“I know, Spence,” I answered, smiling.

“Right, sorry, habit,” He looked down.

I kissed him, “It’s okay, baby.”

He hummed and curled into my chest, breathing softly. I heard my phone buzz but chose to check it later, instead wrapping my arms around him. I heard Spencer mumble something, but I couldn’t hear it.

“What was that?” I shifted so his mouth was next to my ear.

“I…” he hesitated, “I want to regress.”

“Okay, what do I need to do to help you with that?” I said immediately, “Blankets, clothes, what?”

“Blanket and cuddles,” he mumbled.

I sat up and grabbed a blanket from the end of the bed, wrapping it around him before pulling the covers over both of us. I pulled Spencer into a hug, petting his hair softly and rocking him back and forth.

“My sweet baby,” I whispered, “I love you.”

His voice was soft, and he didn’t enunciate his words as much as usual, “Love you too.”

I stayed where I was as he cuddled into me, pulling his legs towards his chest and settling in between my legs. Spencer rocked back and forth a little, humming happily, hands tangled in the blanket wrapped around him.

“Love you,” he smiled, craning his neck to kiss me.

I kissed him, “I love you too.”

Spencer looked down, hiding his face as I soothed him. I shifted to the side to grab my phone, taking a picture of him, then looked at it, realizing he was sucking the tip of his thumb, just a little.

“Aww, cutie,” I kissed his forehead and he blushed, trying to hide his face.

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Is Spencer always this adorable when regressed?**

I chose not to attach the photo, since Spencer couldn’t consent to me sending it and I didn’t know how he felt about Hotch being part of his regression again.

“(Y/N)?” Spencer whispered, making me look down, “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” I kissed his cheek as he resumed sucking his thumb. “Adorable little one.”

Spencer make a small happy noise and tried to hide his face but could only partially put his face in the blanket.

I leaned back into the pillows, Spencer keeping his position against my chest. I rubbed his shoulders and back, getting lost in my thoughts, enjoying my time with my husband.

That still felt weird. _Spencer Reid is my husband._ Amazing, though.

_I’m in love with Spencer Reid._

_And he loves me back._


	40. Shots Fired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You plan to have a lazy night with Spencer, but Jenna interrupts.

**_Message from: Hotch  
_** **I’m glad he’s opening up to you.**  
Yes, he absolutely is.  
If you ever want tips on helping him with regression, just let me know.

Spencer smiled at me as we finished cleaning up from dinner and put the dishes away. “Anything interesting?”

“Just talking to Hotch about how adorable you are,” I answered.

He actually _pouted_ , sticking out his lower lip with exaggerated puppy-dog eyes, “I’m not adorable.”

I picked up my phone and snapped a picture before he could stop me, “What do you call that face then?”

“I’ll fight you,” he muttered, resuming the task of cleaning up.

I scrolled idly though my phone, finding the song I was looking for, connecting to our home speaker and playing. Spencer looked up at the song, the same one we’d danced to for our first dance at our wedding.

I held out my hand, “May I have this dance?”

He smiled and took my hand, moving away from the sink and placing one hand on my shoulder as I put one hand on his back. We swept around the kitchen and living room, lost in the music and each other. When the song ended, Spencer swept me into a dip and kiss.

“I love you,” I smiled as I straightened back up.

“I love you too.”

I leaned against his chest for a second, feeling his heartbeat, just relaxing. “Hey, Spence?”

“Mm hmm?” he asked, looking down at me.

“Can we just watch TV and cuddle tonight?” I asked, wanting nothing more than to be with him.

“Of course, I’ll put the dishes away, pick something.” He walked back to the kitchen and I immediately navigated to Doctor Who, knowing Spencer loved watching it. “Okay, whenever you’re ready.”

Spencer walked back to the couch, settling between my legs and resting his head on my chest as I started the episode. He sang along to the theme song, making me smile, and I just relaxed against the arm of the couch. I don’t remember exactly when I fell asleep, but I surfaced for a second when I could feel Spencer carry me to the bedroom, then fell back into the world of dreams.

***

I woke up to the smell of coffee and Spencer wrapped around me. I hummed and smiled, cuddling back into him.

“Morning, darling,” he smiled and kissed my neck. “How did you sleep?”

“Really well,” I turned my head and kissed him. “You?”

“Same.” He kissed me back, tasting of coffee. “You have an appointment at 11, I already made coffee.”

“I know, I can taste it,” I teased.

He shushed me as we got up, ate breakfast and spent most of the morning cuddling and being affectionate, before Spencer reminded me about my OB/GYN appointment and I groaned, pulling on clothes.

“Will you drive me?” I asked, putting on my best pleading eyes and voice. “I hate driving after an appointment.”

“Yeah, of course,” he immediately started getting dressed.

He drove me to the appointment, and afterwards took me to get ice cream, making me smile and drown him in kisses. We spent another lazy day at home, Spencer just taking care of me as I was clingy and cuddly. When my phone rang that afternoon, I groaned and asked Spencer to answer it. He listened for a few seconds, then sighed and handed it to me.

“Hello?” I asked.

“(Y/N)?” It was Jenna, calling my work phone. That’s odd. “I need help.”

I shot up, “What’s going on, where are you? What’s wrong?”

“One of my, uh, coworkers just got killed onstage.” Her voice was shaking, “We have no idea what happened.”

“I’m on my way now,” I grabbed my keys and slipped on shoes, “Keep the stage clear, leave everything where it is, don’t let anyone leave.”

“Got it. Anything else?”

“Don’t confront anyone. Get CCTV footage if there is any, and just stay where you are.” I instructed.

“See you soon.” She hung up.

“Why is Jenna calling you?” Spencer asked, following me out of the door, “What’s going on?”

“Someone got killed at the club. Call Hotch and tell him to meet us there.” I was already getting in the driver’s seat.

“Serial?”

“Not that I know of,” I responded, “But it’s Jenna, so we’re helping.”

Spencer nodded and called Hotch as I drove, telling him what was going and where the club was. When we got there, I jumped out, flashing my badge at the bouncer and slipping in the employee entrance, immediately spotting Jenna.

“Hey, are you okay?” I said, pulling her into a hug.

She nodded, “I was up next, it could have been me.”

“Hey, it’s okay, take a seat. Are all the witnesses still in the club?” I turned to the bouncer.

“I believe so, ma’am, we closed the doors as soon as we heard a gunshot.” He reported, “We have the curtains pulled around the stage, so they don’t have to, well, see everything.”

I nodded, “Spencer, go look at the body, I’m going to talk to the dancers.” He walked off, and I turned to the bouncer, “A man named Agent Aaron Hotchner will be arriving soon, he might be at the front door. Bring him back immediately.”

He nodded, and I turned back to Jenna, fishing a notebook and pen out of my bag and taking notes on everything she said. She’d been the closest to the dancer, who went by Leia, since she was waiting to go on. After finishing with Jenna, I questioned the other dancers, barely waving to Hotch as he entered.

When I finished, I stood and turned to him, “Thanks for coming. Spencer’s looking at the body. Single gunshot.”

“Of course,” he said, “Witnesses?”

“Kept inside the bar, they closed the doors as soon as the gun went off. It’s going to take a while to get through all of them.” I reported, “It might be better to get the team here.”

“Already called them. You and Spencer look through CCTV, we’ll question everyone.” He gestured me to the stage, “And make sure you take a few deep breaths.”

I nodded, walking up onto the stage to find Spencer covering the girl with… some cloth he must have found somewhere. He looked up at me, stripping off his gloves and walking over.

“Single gunshot to the head, looks like a handgun but I’m not sure. Angle of entrance suggests shooter was below, which means he was probably in the crowd. I’ll warn Hotch.”

I nodded, bending down and looking at Leia’s face. Her face was covered in blood, body shimmering with a sheen of glitter, hair sticking to her face. I sighed, covering her back up and walking backstage, seeing Spencer beckon me to the office. We greeted the security guard and he showed us the footage, as many angles as possible. We couldn’t get a clear look, but Spencer started looking over the footage, trying to see him walk in or face a camera. I walked back out as he worked, seeing the rest of the team.

Rossi raised an eyebrow at me, “You come here often?”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling, “My friend works here.”

He nodded, walking over to Hotch, leaving JJ looking at me, worried. “What happened?”

“Spence and I were at home, it’s okay,” I assured her, “One of the dancers is my best friend, when it happened, she called me.”

She nodded, hugging me, “I’m glad you’re safe.”

I sat down for a second, taking a breath and closing my eyes, fighting to relax. When I felt a little calmer, I stood up, walking back to the security office. Spencer looked up as I entered, beckoning me over.

“I think I’ve got something, but I’m not sure. Look at this frame, this is the shooter, right?” He showed me one screen, where we had a frame of the shooter holding up a gun, hood up.

“Yeah.” I confirmed.

“So, I was going through the footage of the back hall and found this,” he said, directing my attention to another computer, “Leia brings a guy back, he’s wearing a jacket, hood still up, they walk out not even five minutes later. That’s weird.”

I turned to the security officer, “Do you know what happened?”

He shook his head, “I asked but she just said she’d fill out a report later, she needed to go up for a dance.”

“Dances are scheduled, right?” I asked. When the guard confirmed, I continued, “So why would she bring someone back right before a dance?”

“That is weird,” he peered at the time signature, then the schedule for the nights above the screens, “You’re right, she shouldn’t have done that.”

“Do we have any footage of the shooter after?” I asked Spencer.

He shook his head, “Shooter ducks, people start running, and he can disappear into the crowd. It would be easy to drop the hoodie.”

“What about the gun?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s wearing gloves,” Spencer answered, “But we should clear the floor and look for it.”

I nodded, “Keep looking, I’ll tell Hotch.”

***

Almost four hours later, we’d cleared and swept the floor of the club twice (with no luck), every patron had been interrogated, and we were no closer to finding the unsub. Jenna had changed back into street clothes and was trying to help us. She knew the nooks and crannies of the club, where the girls or clients tried to stash things, but still no luck.

“They’re running ballistics on the weapon now,” Spencer reported, “But there’s not much more we can do unless you want to arrest every guy here.”

“Wait,” Jenna, who was sitting next to me, sat up, “What if it’s not a guy?”

I looked at her, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“We get a lot of guys who are, well, less than single,” Jenna sighed, “And, in turn, we get their angry girlfriends, fiancées, and wives.”

“So, if Leia gave a dance to a dude, his girl shows up in a hoodie, takes Jenna back, they talk, Jenna goes out to perform, the woman gets mad and shoots.” Spencer nodded, “Single gunshot to the head, it would make sense.”

“Hotch!” I called, making him walk back from the main floor, “Round up all the women. Search them again.”

He nodded and walked back out.

I kissed Jenna’s cheek, “You’re a genius, love.”

“Hey!” Spencer pouted.

I pulled him into a deep kiss, making Jenna and some other girls whistle teasingly. “Better?”

He blushed and nodded. I walked out to the main floor, where the rest of the team was sorting out the women from the group. I searched over their clothing, but no one was wearing a jacket.

“Spence,” I said, beckoning him to lean down, “Check the security footage. I want to know what kind of shoes the unsub is wearing. Anything else is easily changeable, but not shoes.”

He nodded and went back to the office, leaving me to help pull out the women and separate them. We started asking about relationship status, separating the single women, when Spencer returned.

“Kitten heels, no straps.” He whispered. “Black, I think.”

I nodded and started surveying their shoes, spotting a few heels fitting the description. I grabbed Morgan, subtly pointing out the women and telling him to take them to private rooms.

“See how they react to the dance rooms.” I instructed.

He nodded, separating the women I’d highlighted and leading them back.

“JJ,” I beckoned her over, “You and I are the two married ones here. We think the unsub is a woman with a grudge. I want you with me talking to them, making sure your ring is obvious.”

She nodded, following me back. I stopped in front of the door, looking at her, nodding, and we entered.

“Why am I here?” The woman demanded immediately. “I just witnessed a murder, and you’re treating me like a suspect?”

“You’re not a suspect, we just want to know what happened again. We’re taking small groups at the time.” I lied, “We just need to know why you’re here and what you saw.”

“I was in the crowd, just watching, uh, what was her name?”

“Leia,” JJ supplied.

“Yeah, her,” the woman continued, “And suddenly there was a gunshot and she fell, and I panicked and tried to hide.”

“Did you see the shooter?” I asked, leaning forward and twisting my ring around my hand.

She glanced down at my hand and shook her head. “No, I was close to the stage and couldn’t see most of the crowd, I guess.”

“It’s mostly guys here, what made you decide to come to this club?” JJ cut in.

Well, that was sudden, but it was a question we needed to ask.

“What, I can’t appreciate how a woman looks?” The woman shrugged and laughed.

I looked her up and down, spotting a flashy ring on her finger. “What does your fiancé think about you being here?”

She looked at me, smirking, “ _She_ thinks it’s perfectly fine, thank you.”

I cursed myself for a second and sat back, “My apologies.”

“I’m used to it.” She shrugged, “I was half-expecting you to grill me for my sexuality.”

I shook my head immediately, “No, it’s not that. We’ll release you soon, thank you.”

We walked out and JJ gave me a look. “Nice going.”

I flipped her off, annoyed at my own biases and assumptions. We walked into the next room, seeing a woman in a short skirt and dark tank top, feet propped up against the pole in the center of the room. I looked at JJ, raising an eyebrow.

“What am I doing here?” she asked.

“You’re being detained, what does it look like?” I replied in the same tone. “You look a little cold; do you want a jacket? Maybe with a hood?”

JJ sighed, sitting down. “We just need to know why you’re here tonight.”

The woman shrugged, “I don’t feel any need to justify my personal weekend habits to the feds.”

“What about your husband?” JJ raised an eyebrow, “Want to justify them to him?”

“Bitch,” she muttered. “We’re going through a rough spot and I wanted to see what was so great about the girls here.”

“And you saw the girl your husband liked, huh?” I asked, stepping forward.

The woman fought to stay casual, shrugging, “Maybe, I wasn’t totally sure.”

“So, you decided to confront her, pretending to want a dance, but she figured it out.” I added, “She left to do her dance and you got angry.”

“You can’t prove anything.” Her eyes flashed, “Don’t push me.”

“Where’s the gun?” I asked, putting my hands on either arm of her chair.

“I want a lawyer.” She spat.

I smiled and turned away, JJ following me out of the room.

“If that isn’t suspicious, I don’t know what is.” I said, texting JJ the woman’s name and information, “I’m going to see if she has a permit, and check Leia’s stuff.”

“Local officers already bagged it,” JJ answered.

“Go through it. Most of the girls carry but see if she has two. Try to match it to ballistics.”

JJ nodded and rushed off to find the local officers on scene while I updated the team. Then, I walked over to Jenna.

“Most of you carry, right?” I asked.

She nodded, “Why?”

“What about Leia?”

“She did too. I’m pretty sure they bagged it earlier, why?” Jenna said immediately, “She had a permit and everything.”

I shook my head, “Just wanted to check.”

***

We made the arrest less than half an hour later. The second woman we’d interrogated, Cora Frazier, had taken Leia’s gun and shot her. Everyone was let go, the dancers were escorted home, and we finally finished around midnight.

“Thank you,” I said to the team as we walked out, “I’m sorry to call you all in on the weekend.”

“We’re family,” JJ winked at me, “We’ll always help family.”

I smiled gratefully and walked back to my car holding Spencer’s hand. I got into the driver’s seat, sighed, and turned the car on.

“Home?” He asked.

I nodded, “Home. I’m done with murders until tomorrow.”

Spencer opened his mouth to correct me, but I knew what was coming.

“I swear to all that is holy if you correct me and say later today, I will bruise your ass so bad you won’t be able to wear pants.” I said, holding up one finger as if to shush him.

Spencer grumbled, “Fine. I love you.”

I leaned over to kiss him, “I love you too. Nerd.”


	41. New Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team goes out for drinking and a bet begins.

“Don’t forget we have drinks tonight, Spence,” I called down the hall as I poured my coffee.

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered, “I know.”

I leaned back against the counter and smiled as he walked out, wearing only a bathrobe. He smiled gratefully at me as he picked up his coffee.

“What’s that look for?”

I raised my eyebrows, “What look?”

“You get this mischievous look when you’re plotting something, normally involving playtime,” he told me, “So do I get to know what you’re thinking about?”

I shrugged, “Just the fact that we haven’t been out with the team since I collared you.”

“They’ve seen it before,” he countered, “We’re not subtle.”

“It’s different when there’s alcohol flowing,” I answered, “Just, remember that if either of us starts going into too much detail that safewords can always be used, okay?”

He nodded, “Of course.”

I thought for a second, then smiled, leaning over the counter, “I’ve got a question.”

“I have an answer.”

“Is there any member of the team you haven’t thought about fucking?” I asked, laughing at his shocked expression.

He thought for a second, counting them off on his fingers, “JJ: yes, Morgan: yes, Emily: yes, you: absolutely, Hotch: yes, Garcia: a few times, she’s really just a good friend though, Rossi is the only no.”

“More of a father figure than a daddy figure?”

He almost choked on his coffee, “No! I mean, yeah, no, just- no thank you. I don’t feel the need to think about Rossi in bed.”

I laughed at his expression, “You’re adorable.”

He chose to flip me off rather than dignifying what I said with a response. “What about you?”

“Everyone,” I answered immediately, “I probably wouldn’t do it with Rossi, but I’ve definitely thought about it.”

He rolled his eyes, “You’re just horny as hell.”

I shrugged, “You’re not wrong.” I kissed Spencer, then took another sip of coffee.

“I’m assuming you’re picking my outfit for tonight?” Spencer asked.

I nodded, “You know it.”

It had become common for us: I picked most of Spencer’s outfits, especially when we were going out. I never (well, rarely) put him in something too revealing, but it just helped our dynamic. I’d sometimes let him choose my underwear, if he was being good, but that was it.

***

We walked into the bar; Spencer’s hand entwined with mine. I spotted the team (except for Rossi, of course) immediately, waved to them, and led Spencer over to their spot at the bar.

“How are you?” Garcia stood up and gave me a hug.

Morgan passed Spencer a drink as we sat. “Hey, lovebirds.”

I rolled my eyes and slumped back in my chair, motioning the bartender over and ordering. We talked for a while, my hand resting on Spencer’s leg the entire time. It was a casual movement: not something anyone would comment on, but Spencer knew it was my way of reminding him he’s mine.

“Alright, I’m bored,” Emily said. She was several drinks in, and quite a bit tipsy. “Let’s dance.”

I smiled at Spencer, stood up, and walked to the dance floor, mostly staying with the other girls. Spencer was eventually dragged to the floor by Morgan, and, of course, girls started approaching him. I pretended not to notice. Spencer was awkward as hell, he always was, and knowing I was there only made it worse. When a girl started grinding up against him, I moved back to the bar, getting another drink and just watching. Hotch, having decided the dance floor was too sweaty, was sitting next to me.

‘That’s a little mean, you know,” he told me, gesturing at Spencer, awkwardly dancing with the other woman.

I shrugged, “He knows he’s mine.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow at me, “She doesn’t.”

She was clearly trying to sweet talk him, hands running down his chest. I chuckled and kept watching, sipping my drink.

“Yeah, but he’s wearing _my_ collar.” I held up my wrist, showing off the bracelet that matched the metal around his neck. “She’s just a random no one.”

Hotch nodded and we both settled back, watching the girls dance together, while Morgan laughed at Spencer’s awkward dancing and the girl rubbing up on him.

“You’ve really done a lot for him,” Hotch said, eyes not moving away from the dance floor, “He’s a much happier person. He seems more at peace.”

“I just want him to be okay,” I answered. “Whatever that means I have to do.”

“You’re taking care of yourself, right?” He asked.

I nodded, then realized he wasn’t looking at me, “Being able to take care of him is comforting for me. And when I need to Spence can be my dominant.”

“I’m glad you two have each other,” he turned to me, smiling.

“I’m just glad I managed to tell him how I felt.” I smiled at the memory.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard that story,” he said, “Care to share?”

I laughed as I watched Spencer awkwardly peel himself away from the girl, making some excuse, and rejoining the rest of the team. “We’d been together for a while sexually, it was common for us to fall asleep cuddling.”

He made an ‘aww’ sound.

“So I wake up one morning and he’s, well it doesn’t really matter, but afterward we were cuddling and I asked him what we were,” I felt like an awkward teenager retelling the story, “He said we’re friends with benefits and I basically said I wanted to be more than that. Then he goes ‘finally’ and kissed me.”

“Hold up,” Hotch turned to me fully, “You hadn’t kissed yet? But you’d had sex?”

I nodded, “It’s not that uncommon. It’s a way of separating a sexual Dom/sub relationship from a romantic one. We hadn’t kissed on the lips, until then.”

“That’s adorable.” Hotch pointed at Spencer.

Reid was once again being approached by a girl wearing a short skirt and tube top. He was focusing on her eyes, but she was short, making him look down, and he was trying hard to be polite.

“He’s mine,” I growled, standing up and walking up behind her.

She was focused on him, but Spencer immediately looked up at me. She turned.

“And who are you?” She looked me up and down.

I was covered more, a short dress with a close-fitting top and flared skirt. Not conservative by any means, but she looked at me like I was in a nun’s outfit.

“His wife.” I held up my hand, showing off my wedding ring and bracelet. “Spencer?”

He immediately held up the matching ring. His collar was visible, but most people assumed it was a fashion statement rather.

“Then what is he doing dancing with my friends and me?” She challenged.

“Having a nice night out,” I answered. Spencer had moved to stand a little behind me, one hand resting on my hip. “I don’t care if you dance with him, but that’s all it’ll be.”

She stepped forward. I was glad I was wearing heels, so she had to look up at me, but she was a little drunk and looked ready to fight.

“Okay, you two,” Morgan stepped between us, “(Y/N), Reid, go sit down.”

I considered ignoring him, but decided she wasn’t worth the effort and walked back to the bar, grabbing my drink (Hotch had kept an eye on it). Knowing the girl was still watching us, I grabbed Spencer’s collar and pulled him into a deep kiss, biting his bottom lip as we separated.

“Mine,” I growled.

Spencer nodded.

I thanked Hotch for my drink and sat down, draining the glass quickly.

“Well, damn, that’s one way to react to that,” Hotch laughed, “It’s not like you two are monogamous.”

“No, but it’s fun to remind him, and anyone else, that he’s mine.” I smirked.

Hotch shrugged and nodded in agreement, returning his attention to the floor. Morgan had successfully distracted the girl by dancing with her, which we laughed at.

“I don’t blame her for being interested, though,” he chuckled, “The two of you are quite a catch.”

“You would know,” I teased.

He nodded, defocusing for a second, staring at the floor as if he could see through it.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I asked.

Hotch shook his head to focus, then turned to me, “Just thinking about my night with you two.”

“The offer is always open,” I smiled, running one hand on Spencer’s thigh almost unconsciously.

Hotch nodded, and we lapsed into a silence again until Garcia came over, dragging me back onto the dance floor. I lost myself dancing with the other girls, the world spinning as we weaved in and out of each other’s bodies. I don’t remember when we stopped dancing, but I found myself sitting on Emily’s lap, talking with the team.

“There is no way you could last even two days without being all over each other,” Morgan pointed at Spencer and I, “No way.”

I didn’t even think about the words before they left my mouth, “I’ve put him in a cage for a week, are you sure about that?” As soon as I said that, I clapped both hands over my mouth, looking at Spencer.

He just shrugged, “It’s true.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I had no idea if he’d been okay with me saying that, but I guess he was.

“Bullshit,” Morgan answered, “No fucking way.”

I had no idea what came over me, but I got off Emily’s lap, walked over to Morgan, and put my hands on either side of him, leaning in close. “Are you doubting me?”

Everyone stared at Morgan, waiting for a response.

“Well?” I said, pushing one knee between his legs.

He looked up at me. His pupils were blown with lust, breathing heavy. I knew without looking he was aroused. “No, ma’am.” His voice was barely more than a whisper.

I smiled, standing up again, “Good.”

No one knew exactly how to react as I sauntered back to my seat. Spencer was bright red, Emily was smirking, JJ and Garcia were just staring. Hotch had suddenly become very interested in the wooden grain of the bar.

“Here’s the real question,” Emily broke the silence, “Were you chaste for that week?” She raised an eyebrow at me.

“Oh, hell no.” I answered. “Just because Spencer’s being punished doesn’t mean I am.”

“Told you,” Morgan said.

“I could, I just feel no need to,” I retorted, “I’m not addicted to it.”

“Bullshit,” JJ called, surprising us all. “You two barely ever take your hands off each other.”

I was suddenly hyper-aware of my hand on Spencer’s leg.

“I propose I bet,” Garcia said, “I think they can last a maximum of two weeks.”

“I say three days,” Morgan called.

“Five,” JJ said, “Give them some credit.”

Emily considered us both, “I think they can do a week.”

“Fine, what are the rules?” I leaned forward, “Let’s fucking do this. I say we can both last longer than three weeks. Make a betting pool. Winner takes all.”

“No orgasms,” Hotch cut in, “Starting tomorrow morning. No touching below the belt.”

I shrugged, already finding holes in this plan, but of course that wasn’t it.

“No sex toys either,” Morgan said. “I don’t care if you use ropes, but nothing contacting the nasty areas at all.”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine. Kissing?”

“Only above the belt.” Emily said immediately. “And no contacting means no grinding either.”

“What’s the buy-in?” Spencer asked.

“Fifty bucks, you two are in together,” Garcia said, “I’ll hold onto the money. Winner takes all, bets must be in before 7 AM tomorrow.”

I already had my wallet out, but I leaned towards Spencer, “Color?”

“Green.” His answer was immediate, “We can do this.”

I nodded and slid the money across the table, “Three weeks.”

Garcia was already taking notes on her phone, “Okay, we’ve got the couple at three weeks, I’m saying two.”

Emily was next, “One week.”

Garcia took her money and nodded.

“Five days,” JJ handed Garcia the money.

Morgan looked at us both for a second, “I’ll say two.”

We all turned to Hotch. He shook his head. “I’m staying out of this.”

“Okay, so for the next two weeks, Hotch is allowed to profile us, only in the context of this game,” I announced. “If you think we broke the rules, you can challenge us.”

He nodded.

And so the game began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for comments. Let me know what you think!


	42. The Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bet continues and ends.

Spencer and I fucked like animals when we got home. We were determined for a win, but the game began at 7 AM, so we had all the time before that to satisfy ourselves for the next three weeks. After two rounds in the bed, another one in the shower, one on the couch, and one soft one before we fell asleep, we were both sated and satisfied. Hopefully. When we woke up, I looked over my phone to see a text from Garcia with a reminder of the rules and how long I’d bet we could last without orgasming at all. I groaned at my pounding head as I realized what we’d signed up for.

Spencer walked in and passed me a steaming cup of coffee, “That wasn’t the best challenge we could have taken.”

I sighed, taking several drinks from the mug before responding, “No kidding. And orgasms help hangovers too.”

He nodded, kissing me, “We win $200 if we make it, though.”

“There were five bets made.” I was confused.

“We put in 50 bucks. That’s not a win if we get it back.” He answered, “Depending on how you think about it.”

I nodded, understanding his logic, and drank more coffee.

“Do you really think we can do it?” He asked.

I shrugged, “Maybe. We’re going to try.”

My phone buzzed.

 **_Message to: BAU Fam from: Emily  
_ ** **Are we allowing chastity devices?**

Of course, Emily would think of that.

 **_Message to: BAU Fam from: Morgan  
_ ** **Don’t those count as toys?**

 **_Message to: BAU Fam  
_ ** **Depends on who you ask.**

Spencer was reading over my shoulder, “I don’t know if that would make it better or worse.”

 **_Message to: BAU Fam from: Hotch  
_ ** **I’m not a part of this, but, hypothetically, I would say they have to resist all on their own, no devices.**

 **_Message to: BAU Fam from: Garcia  
_ ** **The referee has spoken. No devices.**

“Well, that answers that,” I showed Spencer the messages, “No chastity devices.”

He nodded, “Let the three weeks begin.”

***

The first few days were easy. We left for a case, and although we were in the same room, we were just happy cuddling and kissing. It was by around day 4 (Ha! Suck it, Morgan) that we began to feel the effects of it.

“I have never wanted vanilla sex more in my entire life,” I groaned as we boarded the plane, heading home after a case. “Is this what you feel like all the time, JJ?”

“I don’t have a dumb three week bet with no orgasms.” She responded, “So, no.”

“No, the wanting vanilla sex part,” I waved off her statement.

She rolled her eyes, “I guess? It’s just sex.”

Spencer wasn’t doing much better, he was just less vocal about it.

“Ready to break yet?” JJ teased, “At least wait another day so I get the money.”

“We’re going to make it,” Spencer shot back.

I curled up in Spencer’s lap for the rest of the plane ride, falling asleep quickly. The last few days had been exhausting and being with Spencer always made me happy. When we landed, I drove home and we curled up on the couch, putting Doctor Who on in the background as we cuddled.

“Morgan did say that we can have non-sexual scenes,” Reid pointed out as I groaned about the bet that I’d stupidly entered us in.

“Spence, you know that as soon as we started, we’d break.” I reminded him, “It’s one thing if we’ve been sexual recently, but I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back, and I don’t think you could either.”

He grumbled in agreement and settled into my chest; ear pressed between my breasts so he could hear my heartbeat.

***

We passed a week. If we broke before two weeks, Emily would get the money, but as soon as he hit two weeks it was Garcia’s. Unless we got to three weeks.

The feeling of Spencer’s hands on my waist started to make me aroused. I couldn’t stop thinking about us together. I considered just eating raw potatoes or something to distract myself, but that’s gross, so no thank you. The rest of the team was starting to bug us about it, making jokes or comments constantly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do it?” Morgan asked as we walked into the morning briefing.

“There’s an empty office on the seventh floor,” Emily muttered in my ear, “I’m just saying.”

These only made us more determined to win the bet. I’d had to stop wearing sexy lingerie because Spencer’s hands were all over me as soon as I brought it out, and we’d put the key to the toy drawer on a top shelf, where both of us had to use a ladder to get it. Everything was packed in there: toys, ropes, lingerie, as much as we could fit.

Hotch was keeping an eagle eye on us. Spencer had asked to kneel and focus once and came in looking more relaxed than normal, raising eyebrows. After talking to both of us, and realizing that I wasn’t acting any different, Hotch determined we hadn’t broken the rules.

“I’ll split the money with you if you break,” Emily offered.

I shook my head, “Nope.”

“I’ll come over and break it with you?”

“Tempting, but no,” I leaned back in my chair, putting my feet up on my desk. “You’re going to get it, Em.”

***

We made it to two weeks. I was unable to sleep in the same room as Spencer anymore, I woke up wet or trying to grind on him, so I slept on the couch. Spence wasn’t doing well, either, practically _begging_ to be able to at least use a cock ring. No luck.

We couldn’t let it affect work. During cases, we were always at separate scenes when possible, although we were still sleeping in the same room. We’d started requesting two twins instead of one larger bed.

Two weeks, three days. Jenna came over for a drink.

“How are you two?” she hugged us both and gave us each a cheek kiss, “It’s been too long. I mean, especially considering last time I saw you it was because Leia was murdered.”

We chatted for a while, but she noticed Spence and I weren’t as affectionate as normal.

“Is something going on?” She asked, “Did I come over at a bad time? If I need to leave I will, I don’t want to get in the middle of anything.”

“Miss (Y/N) here made a stupid bet when we were out with the team,” Spencer replied, “It’s been two weeks, three days, thirteen hours, and about twenty-four minutes since either of us orgasmed or had sex at all.”

Her eyes grew wide, “What did you do?”

“Morgan said we couldn’t last more than a week without fucking,” I sighed, “I challenged him. We made a bet. $250 are on the line. It’s only five more days!”

“Four days, eleven hours, and thirty-six minutes,” Spencer muttered. “And it’s torture.”

Jenna couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh, you poor darlings.”

Spencer perked up all of a sudden, taking out his phone, clearly trying to find something. Jenna raised an eyebrow at me, but I just shrugged.

“Yeah, so we’re both extremely sexually frustrated.” I sighed, “I’m not sure we’re going to made it.”

“Damn,” Spencer sighed.

We both turned to him. “What?”

“I thought there might have been a loophole about having another partner pleasure us, but there’s not.” He sighed, showing us his screen with the text from Garcia.

 **_Message to: BAU Fam from: Garcia  
_ ** **Rules for the bet:  
(1) No kissing/being kissed below the belt  
(2) No touching/being touched below the belt  
(3) No using sex toys  
(4) No grinding/physical contact of any kind below the belt  
(5) No orgasms  
Breaking these rules results in the closest bet earning the entire pool ($250).  
Bet dates:  
Two days: Morgan  
Five days: JJ  
One week: Emily  
Two weeks: Me (Penelope)  
Three weeks: The happy couple ;)**

“It says no orgasms, not no making each other orgasm,” he explained, “So, yeah.”

Jenna sighed, “Damn, I was getting hopeful.”

“Give it a few days, Jenna, then we’ll have you over again,” I offered.

“I can work with that,” she finished her drink, putting the glass on the island, “But I’m not waiting until then.”

“So, anything new in your life?” I asked, trying to move my mind away from the bet.

She shook her head, “A few casual flings, but nothing super interesting. We increased security at the club and everyone’s slowly feeling more comfortable.”

I nodded, “And the security cameras?”

“Upgraded and covering the entire place,” she said, “Just as you recommended.”

“That’s good,” I nodded, “It’s unlikely to happen again, but it’s good just in case.”

“The girls feel a lot better knowing I have the FBI on speed dial, so that helps,” Jenna smiled.

“And you can use that any time,” I replied.

“Bummer you don’t have uniforms, I’d make serious money taking one off,” she sighed, “Oh well, I have other outfits.”

I laughed, “We have bulletproof vests that take forever to get on if you’d like one of those.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

“They’re not super hard to take off,” Spencer countered, “I’ve done it quickly. That one time on the train, before you were on the team. I know you’ve heard the story.”

I nodded, “Yeah, the one where you almost got shot and disobeyed direct orders.”

“Yeah, that one,” he smiled innocently at me.

Jenna raised an eyebrow, “Care to elaborate?”

“Unsub on a train had this idea that there was a chip in his skin. He had several hostages. He demanded that we send in someone to remove it.” Spencer explained, “I said that I could use sleight of hand to convince him and went on the train. He demanded I take by vest off even though Hotch and-“ his breath caught for a second at the thought of Gideon. “I was told to keep my vest on and I didn’t. Everything turned out okay, but it wasn’t my smartest move.”

Jenna looked between us, trying to figure out why Spencer’s tone had suddenly changed. “Yeah, I can see why you’re salty about that, even if you weren’t on the team.”

I nodded, rubbing Spencer’s back gently.

“Yeah, so Spencer isn’t allowed to do dumb stuff like that anymore,” I said.

“Technically,” he started.

“No.” I said, “No doing dumb shit like that anymore.”

He sighed and kissed me, “Fine.”

***

“Only two days left,” I groaned, “We can do this.”

“Would it really be that bad to break it now?” Spencer asked.

“It’s two days,” I sighed, “There’s no way we can’t make it through two more days.” I slumped back on the couch. “Right?”

Spencer straddled me, nuzzling into my neck, “C’mon, Mistress, let’s just not tell them.” He sucked lightly on my neck.

I groaned, “Fuck, Spencer.”

He ground down into me, “We’ve already technically broken the rules just by doing this, why not go all the way?”

I focused on my breathing, “Spence, we can’t.”

“Mistress, I want you,” his hips ground into me, “I need you.”

“No,” I managed, “We only have two days left. And we have to get to work.”

“Does being extremely aroused count as a reason to call in sick?” He asked, still kissing my neck.

“Spence,” I said, trying to make my tone strict rather than aroused, “We need to go to work.”

He sighed, moving off me, “Spoilsport.”

When we arrived at the briefing room, the rest of the team was already there. We quietly took our seats and Garcia started, but I could barely focus on the file. When she finished and everyone filed out, I took a few deep breaths, leaning back in my chair.

_It’s two fucking days. You can do this._

“Agent (Y/N),” Hotch said, shocking me and making me sit up, “I need to see you in my office.”

Confused, I followed him to his office, where he closed the door and shut the blinds. I was shocked, but just leaned against the door, waiting.

“You’re causing a serious problem at work,” he said, voice stern, “And I don’t appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sir,” I said, keeping my eyes on him. In reality, I had some idea, but I couldn’t be sure.

“You have been extremely distracted the past few weeks, and I don’t appreciate it,” He growled.

“I tried to be careful to not let this affect my work,” I said slowly, “But I apologize if it is an issue, and we can call this off immediately.”

“I don’t care about the bet, I just need my agent to be engaged in the case, not distracted by anything else.” He was towering over me, my back pressed against the door, “And I don’t care what it takes to get you to focus.”

I glanced down, just for a second, to confirm my suspicions.

“Did Garcia put you up to this?” I asked, “She really will do anything do get the money.”

He shrugged, “You know you want it.”

I did. I really wanted to get on my knees or make him eat me out or anything else.

“Fuck you, Hotch,” I growled, squeezing my eyes shut, “Not happening.”

He sighed, lips against my ear. Fuck, I wanted him so bad.

“Are you sure?”

“My house, two days,” I answered, “We’ll see about your behavior then.”

I ducked under his arm and slipped out the door.

“Hey, Garcia!” I yelled, making her look up from talking to Morgan, “Nice try.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she smiled innocently.

“You’re not winning,” I told her, “Two more days.”

“We’ll see.”

***

First it was the single king-sized bed.

Then the team making us go to scenes together, just the two of us.

Then the condoms slipped into our bags. And the small bullet vibe.

The chocolate on our bed was the last straw, the night before we’d win.

“What do the rest of you have riding on this?” I asked as we all sat down to look over the case that night. “Garcia is the only one who would get the money, so what’s going on?”

Morgan chucked, “We just all want to break you, sweetness.”

I flipped him off, collapsing down in my chair, “Not happening. Less than twelve hours left.”

“We’ll see,” He smiled.

***

We may or may not have set an alarm for 7AM. Not like anyone can really blame us, right? The alarm went off and I hit it, immediately rolling over to straddle Spencer.

“Finally,” He pulled me close, “I miss all of you.”

I reached down to stroke Spencer as we kissed, grinding one leg into his thigh.

“Fuck, Mistress,” he groaned against my mouth, “Just let me inside of you.”

I stripped his boxers and my pajamas off as fast as possible, grinding against his cock. I couldn’t resist pushing my hips up and moving down onto him. We both groaned with pleasure, and Spencer quickly moved one hand down to play with my clit.

“Fuck, Spence,” I ground down against him, “I missed this so much.”

He moved so I on my back on the bed, thrusting into me, still playing with my clit. I moved my hips up to meet his every thrust, reaching up to pull on his hair.

“Spence, I’m going to cum,” I groaned, “Don’t stop.”

His fingers moved faster, bringing me closer to my orgasm.

“Cum around me,” he groaned, pulling me into a kiss, “Cum.”

I gasped and moaned, hips twitching as I came, fingers tightening in his hair. “Fuck! Spencer, fuck, so good.”

“I’m not going to last long,” he whispered, “I need you, I need to cum in you.”

“Make me cum with you, just wait,” I said, feeling his fingers move faster as soon as I said that, “Fuck, I missed you.”

Spencer brought me to the brink of my second orgasm quickly, until I was barely able to hold back.

“Cum, Spence, cum with me,” I groaned into his neck, “Fuck, cum with me.”

We came together, Spencer burying himself inside me as I orgasmed. I felt him fill me and gasped at the feeling. Spencer stayed in place for a few seconds before collapsing beside me.

“We are never doing that again,” he muttered, “I don’t care if Morgan challenges you or whatever, it’s not happening.”

“Agreed.” I laughed, then bolted up at the knocking on the door. “Who the fuck is that?”

I grabbed my nightshirt and pulled it back on, finding a pair of pants and stepping into them before cracking open the door to see… the entire time, waiting with their arms crossed.

“Yes?” I asked. “It’s been three weeks, we win, hand over the money.”

Morgan laughed, “Actually, sweetheart, not quite. It’s been 503 hours.”

“What?” I asked, still hazy from lack of sleep and unfocused from the sex. “What do you mean?”

“Look at your watch,” he smiled.

_6:05_

“What?” I groaned, “What is going on?”

“You can thank Garcia for that little alarm trick,” Hotch smiled, “You’re an hour away from winning, and from the look of it, you lost.”

“You changed the clock on my phone?” I asked.

“Correction, Garcia changed the clock on your phone,” Emily answered, “We’re just here to see your faces when you realize you just lost 200 dollars from being horny.”

I blinked hard. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

“If you just waited until you got home, you’d be okay,” JJ laughed, “But you two couldn’t wait that long.”

I sighed and leaned back against the wall, “You’re serious?”

They all nodded.

“I hate you all,” I closed the door and turned to Spencer, “So we lost by an hour.”

“I heard.” He cracked a smile, “It’s a little funny.”

“Three weeks! We were one hour away from getting two hundred dollars for three weeks of no sex.” I rolled my eyes, “That’s cheating.”

“There was no rule against cheating,” Spencer pointed out, “The only rules were about what we could do.”

I sighed, grabbing my phone.

 ** _Message to: Garcia  
_** **You’re unbelievable.**  
Enjoy the money.


	43. You Can Take It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer are very kinky, and then Hotch comes over.

I wrapped the ropes around Spencer’s wrists, pulling the ties tight and securing the ropes to the headboard before doing the same with his ankles, securing one to each bedpost. He pulled against the ropes, but they held tight.

“Aww, cute, you think you can get out,” I said, running one finger up Spencer’s chest. “Not happening.”

He whined around the gag. I walked to the drawer and pulled out a vibrating cock ring/butt plug toy, lubing it up and slowly working it onto his cock and into his ass, making him whine. I made sure he couldn’t see the remote.

“I have some paperwork to finish, so you’re just going to have to wait here,” I smiled, putting a small device into his hand. “If it becomes too much, squeeze that and it’ll alert me immediately.”

It was a special remote I’d bought that sent an alert to both my phones and my computer, making sure I’d see it. He nodded.

“See you later, darling,” I waved and turned, walking towards the door. Then I turned around. “Oh, and if you make any noise, it’ll just last longer.” I smiled and turned the vibrator on its lowest setting.

Spencer gasped, but quickly caught himself and quieted down. I walked away, chucking a little to myself.

I spent the next hour going over paperwork from Hotch, occasionally playing with the vibrator settings. I heard a few gasps from the bedroom, but nothing to merit punishment. Yet. I finished the paperwork and sent it back, then walked back to the bedroom, setting my personal phone camera to record and placing it on my dresser, where I knew it would capture the scene on the bed. Spencer was straining against the ropes, eyes screwed shut as he fought not to make noise.

I clicked a button on the remote and Spencer twitched, hips thrusting into nothing. He whined and groaned but I just tutted softly, watching him react. This wasn’t the constant vibrations he was used to, but a soft, slower one followed by three fast jolts, which it took a while for him to get used to.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Spencer stayed silent, knowing I’d punish him for any noise, instead just shaking his head. I smiled and opened the toy drawer, taking out a vibrator, making Spencer’s eyes widen. I sat on the side of the bed, turned it on, and placed it against the head of his cock. Spencer almost immediately moaned and ground up against the toy.

“That’s two strikes so far, darling,” I reminded him.

Spencer nodded, struggling to stay quiet, bucking up against the vibrator. I knew he was close by the way his hips were twitching and the way he tried to control his breathing. I smiled and turned the vibrator up. Unable to hold it back, Spencer whined again. I just shook my head, tutting, before reaching down to disconnect the cock ring from the plug. I tugged it off, only moving the vibrator away for a second, smiling and Spencer buried his head in the pillows, struggling to stay quiet.

“Cum,” I ordered.

He immediately obeyed, breath loud around the gag as he spurted all over his chest, hips twitching. I took the vibrator off his cock and set the plug in his ass to the lowest setting, a consistent vibrating.

“Are you okay?” I asked. Seeing him nod, I smiled, “Good.”

I turned and walked out again, making sure the ringer on my work phone was on, in case Spencer used the safeword device. I busied myself with idle tasks, slowly upping the settings on the plug until it was as high as it would go.

When I reentered the bedroom, Spencer was shaking, straining against the ropes, eyes screwed shut. He was so lost in the sensations he didn’t even notice me enter, at least not until I ran one finger up his cock, making him gasp.

“You’re being such a good little whore I won’t count that as another strike,” I praised, “I should keep you like this forever. Just waiting, so needy, so aroused, so ready to beg for me, to follow any direction I give you.”

Spencer nodded eagerly; eyes fixed on me.

“You’d love that, you slut, always being ready to be used?” I traced my finger up his chest to his throat, wrapping my hand around it and squeezing the sides lightly, “My pretty little slut.”

He tried to nod. I smiled, released his neck, and started to stroke him, movements fast, twisting my wrist a little, knowing exactly what he wanted. I knew he was straining not to cum again.

“Is there something you want?” My voice was sickly sweet, sugar coated with innocence.

Spencer groaned in frustration, trying in vain to speak around the gag.

“You can take it,” I said.

It wasn’t a question, but he nodded anyways.

I’d kept him waiting since we lost the bet, all the way until we got home, making him even more eager for what was to come.

Spencer was begging with his eyes, pleading. His hips pushed back into the bed, a vain attempt to escape from my hand and be able to relax.

“Cum,” I said. “Moan for me.”

He looked at me, as if to ensure that this order superseded the other, then released, weaker than last time, cum covering my hand. He moaned, eyes screwed shut, unable to hold back his noises. I turned the vibrator to the highest setting again, but Spencer was so blissed out he didn’t even react for a second, just breathing harder. I moved so I could kiss Spencer’s neck as I reached behind him, undoing the clip on the gag.

“Keep quiet,” I reminded, placing the gag on the side table.

Spencer nodded.

I stood and walked to the toy drawer, pulling out a large dildo – one of Spencer’s favorites. He perked up at the sight, but I just smiled and reclined on the bed, lazily trailing the tip over my slit. Spencer shifted but didn’t say anything. When I started pushing it inside me, though, he whined.

I raised my eyebrows, pausing. “What was that?”

Spencer shook his head, as if to deny he’d made noise.

“Tell me what you want,” my voice was harsher.

“I want to be inside you, Mistress,” he whined. “I want to pleasure you.”

“Do you think you deserve to?”

He whined. It was a trick question: say no, and I wouldn’t let him, say yes and I’d discipline him for being insolent.

“I just want to make you feel good, Mistress, whatever you want,” he answered. “Please.”

“Then stay still.”

He nodded, trying to still his hips as I played with the settings on the vibrator, lazily fucking myself with the dildo. Spencer’s eyes were locked on my pussy, struggling to stay still through his lust. He wasn’t quite hard yet, although that wasn’t surprising after two successive orgasms, but I knew he was hanging onto my every movement. I trailed my other hand down between my legs, playing with my clit and moaning, throwing my head back in pleasure. Spencer pulled against the ropes, trying to get closer to me. I just smiled, knowing he couldn’t get out.

“What’s wrong, little slut?”

“Mistress,” he begged, “Please, let me pleasure you.”

I considered him for a second, then smiled. I took the dildo out and placed it to the side, straddling his face, then leaning forward, slowly teasing Spencer’s sensitive cock with my mouth. I lowered hips down onto his face and he immediately began pleasuring me, making me hum as I sucked his tip. Spencer’s tongue moved quickly, desperately trying to make me orgasm, knowing I wouldn’t let him cum again until I was satisfied. I was aroused and my orgasm approached quickly. I had to support myself on my hands as I sucked, straining to hold myself up. My orgasm washed over me, making me moan around Spencer. I could feel him straining to delay his orgasm.

I pulled off, panting and moaning, “You can cum when you want, baby.” I moved back down and continued sucking, moving my hips away from Spencer’s mouth.

Spencer gasped and moaned, almost immediately cumming into my mouth, hips bucking. I hummed at the taste of his semen, making him whine. I pulled off and swallowed, moving away from Spencer and leaning down to kiss him as I turned the vibrator off.

He smiled lazily, “Thank you, Mistress.”

“Of course, my love.” I looked up, seeing him relax into the ropes, “Do you want to be untied?”

He thought for a second, “Just my legs for now?”

I nodded and quickly untied the rope around his legs, rubbing the rope marks and making sure he was comfortable before kissing him again, reaching over to turn off the camera. We stayed still for a couple seconds, Spencer nuzzling into my neck, before asking me to untie his arms. I did and moved so he could lay on me, wrapping a blanket around both of us. Spencer hummed happily and pushed his face against my chest, relaxing.

***

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **What are you two doing this weekend?**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Mostly relaxing, why?**

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **Just remembering what you told me when I cornered you in my office**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Ask for what you want, Aaron**

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **How do you and Spencer feel about me coming over later?**

Before I could even ask Spencer, who was reading over my shoulder, he agreed.

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Just text before you arrive.**

***

Spencer chose to hang back and recline on the couch as I answered the door. Hotch was in a tighter t-shirt and slacks, hair brushed back. I smiled and welcomed him in. Spencer turned and waved but didn’t say anything else. I just let Aaron stand there for a second, waiting.

“We have something to discuss, Aaron,” I finally said.

Hotch looked up, “What?”

“You tried to sabotage me,” I growled angrily, walking towards him. Aaron was forced to back up into the wall. “You tried to get in the middle of my bet.”

“And?” He challenged.

“And I don’t appreciate you being in the middle of my business.”

“Why should I care?” He asked.

I knew Spencer was watching us, interested in what I’d say, but I ignored him, keeping my eyes on Aaron.

“You think you can challenge me like that and not expect to get punished for it?” I put one hand against his throat, pinning him to the wall. “Fucking whore.”

Aaron’s eyes were locked on mine. “What are you going to do about it?”

I grabbed his wrist and spun him around, so his face was pressed against the wall, one arm up against his back. My lips were pressed against his ear.

“I’m going to fuck you until you beg for me,” I growled, “I’m going to use you until all you can do is obey me, and you’re going to fucking love it.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he gasped.

I looked over my shoulder, where Spencer’s eyes were trained on us. “Go get cuffs and a play collar.”

Spencer nodded and immediately walked back to the bedroom. I ran one hand down Aaron’s back, gripping his ass. He whined, pushing up against the wall.

“Color?” I asked.

“Green,” he gasped, “Ma’am.”

“Good.” I turned as Spencer returned.

He handed me the cuffs. They were padded with buckles, not the metal ones we were trained to get out of. Not that Aaron would try. I cuffed him quickly, then took the collar, wrapping it around his neck.

“Is this okay?” I double-checked.

He nodded and I smiled, holding the chain between the cuffs and jerking them, leading him to the bedroom. I pushed him over the side of the bed, kicking his legs apart before letting go, walking to the toy drawer.

“Prep him, Spencer,” I tossed him a bottle of warming lube, “Be gentle. For now.”

Spencer nodded and walked over to Aaron, almost in shock at what was going on.

“Spence,” I said gently, “Color?”

“Green,” he answered, opening the lube and coating his hand, rubbing it over Aaron’s crack.

I leaned back and watched for a few seconds, smiling at how gentle Spencer was, before turning back to the drawer, pulling out my harness and strap, as well as a bell. Hotch groaned as Spencer pushed one finger inside him.

“I told you to be gentle, not a snail,” I growled.

Spencer began moving faster, making Aaron groan and push back into his hand. Spencer continued while I put the strap on before leaning back on the bed, taking the container of lube and stroking the dildo, feeling the lube heat up under my hand.

Once Spencer had opened Aaron up with three fingers, I pulled him away and kissed him. “Good slut.”

Spencer smiled at the praise and stepped back.

“Color, Aaron?” I asked, rubbing his ass and trailing my fingers between his cheeks.

“Green.” Aaron pushed back, “Please, fuck me.”

“Spencer, on the bed, you’re going to fuck the toy’s mouth,” I said.

Spencer scrambled to obey as I slowly lined up with Aaron’s hole, checking to make sure he was okay before slowly pushing in, making him groan and bury his face in the sheets. Once I was all the way in, I grabbed Aaron’s hair, pulling him up so I could bite his neck.

“Color?” I asked, slipping a small bell into his hand before stroking him. “Don’t forget, you can also use one tap for red, two for yellow, or three for green.”

He bucked into my hand, “Green. Yes, ma’am.”

“Suck Spencer,” I ordered, shoving him back down.

Spencer was already looking at me eagerly when I let go of him hair. Spencer ran his hands through Aaron’s hair before slowly starting to thrust into his mouth as I matched every thrust with one of my own.

“Mistress,” Spencer groaned, “Fuck, his mouth feels so good.”

I hummed in agreement, “Good little fucktoy.”

Aaron seemed to be only half paying attention, lost in the feeling of being used. I checked in with Aaron before pulling his hips back so I could stroke him. Spencer sifted in order to continue. I watched Spencer moan and dig his fingers into the sheets, hips bucking up.

“Don’t forget your rules, whore,” I reminded Spencer.

He nodded, focused on his breathing, “Yes, Mistress.”

I stroked Aaron faster, making him moan and thrust into my hand.

“Mistress,” Spencer groaned, “I want to cum.”

“Hotch, color?” I asked.

He immediately tapped the bed three times.

I nodded at Spencer, “You can cum.”

Almost immediately, Spencer’s hand tangled in Aaron’s hair, moaning and bucking up into his throat, a string of unintelligible words and moans streaming out of his mouth.

“Fuck, ah, so- fuck,” he groaned, “Thank you, ma’am, so- so good, Mistress.” He blabbered, collapsing back onto the sheets.

I reached forward and pulled Aaron up so I could bite his shoulder. I’d checked with Spencer to make sure it was okay, and Spencer said as long as it wasn’t visible, he was okay with it, and Hotch had agreed. I stroked faster, hips snapping against his ass with every movement, sucking at a sensitive spot between his back and neck muscles.

“Mistress,” he gasped, “Please let me cum.”

“Beg.” I ordered.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum, I want it so bad, fuck, please,” he leaned back against me, barely able to hold up his own weight, “Please.”

Spencer looked up at me from his position on the bed, “Can I help him get off, Mistress?”

I nodded and Spencer moved forward, immediately opening his mouth to take Aaron’s cock into his mouth, bobbing his head eagerly.

“Oh, fuck,” Hotch’s knees almost gave out at the feeling.

I held him up, supporting us both against the bed.

“Cum.” I said.

Hotch was only supported by my arms at this point, he lost all ability to stand as he came, moaning. When he stopped, I slowly pulled out and laid him down gently.

‘Thank you,” he panted, “Fuck.”

I removed the strap as Spencer grabbed a blanket, helping take care of Aaron until I got into bed. I pulled Aaron between my legs and let him lean on my chest. Spencer laid on my leg, curling around both of us.

“I love you, Spencer,” I said, petting his hair gently.

He hummed and nuzzled into my leg.

I turned to Aaron, “Are you okay?”

He nodded, “Much better.”

I smiled and leaned back onto the headboard, letting us all recline.

“Spencer, come here,” I gestured, getting him to move up and curl around me.

“Now I remember why Reid looks so relaxed after the weekend,” Aaron chuckled.

“Any time, Hotch,” I reminded him. “You don’t need to back me into a wall to get this.”

“It’s still fun when you’re a little angry though.” Spencer piped up, “Makes it a little more rough.”

“Brats,” I muttered.

“Mhm!” Spencer agreed, almost sounding proud.

“Watch it, kid,” Aaron muttered, “Pretty sure she still has enough energy left to spank you.”

Spencer squeaked a little, as if just remembering that was a possibility.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to do this with you?” Hotch asked, pulling away a little.

I looked at him, “Of course.”

Spencer immediately agreed, which apparently made Hotch more comfortable, because he settled back against me.

We stayed there for a while until Hotch had calmed down. I offered to let him sleep over, but he insisted on getting home to Jack. Spencer took a shower and I drove Hotch home.

“Thank you,” he turned to me in front of the door, “Really. And if this ever becomes an issue, tell me, okay?”

I nodded, “I will, but we both enjoy it. I would say you’re like family, but…”

“Yeah that’s a little weird.” Hotch laughed.

It had been so long since I’d seen him smile. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, “Keep an eye on yourself, Hotch.”

“Night,” he walked inside.

I drove home and joined Spencer in the shower. We ended up making out under the water as Spencer fingered me. We only stopped when I forgot where we were and threw my head back, hitting it on the tile wall (not hard enough to cause an injury, luckily).

“Hey, Spence?” I said as I stared at the ceiling, arms wrapped around him.

“Hmm?”

“Are you sure you’re okay with doing stuff with Hotch?”

He was silent for a second, “Yeah. I’m attracted to him sexually, but you’re my wife. I have no doubts about that.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he said firmly, “There’s no scientific evidence for soulmates, and even if there were the likelihood of ever meeting yours would be extremely low, but if I did, I would say you’re my soulmate.

I laughed, “Nerd.”

“You know you love me.” He kissed me.

I kissed him back, “Yeah, I do.”

“And I love you too.”

Spencer Reid never sounded unconfident about anything he said, but there seemed to be a different tone to the way he said that, like it was a fact and a promise and a grand proclamation all at once. The way he said it, like everything else about him, was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HIT 100,000 WORDS  
> IM SO FREAKING HAPPY  
> THIS FIC IS MY CHILD AND I AM PROUD


	44. Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween party time

Life progressed as normal (or as normal as life was working for the FBI) until October, when we all began preparing for Halloween. Spencer and I decided to hold a party at our house and began decorating in earnest. Spencer wanted to start decorating in September, but I stopped him, at least until October.

The outside of the house was covered in cobwebs and other decorations, with skeletons and inflatable dragons in the from yard (I insisted). Any time we walked towards the porch, the hanging witch cackled, which made us jump on several late nights.

The day before Halloween, Spencer and I went out to get last-minute party supplies. When I reached for the alcohol, though, Spencer caught my hand.

I looked at him, “What are you doing?”

“I, uh,” he stopped for a second, “I need to go get something, I’ll be right back.”

I nodded and looked at him, confused, just getting the alcohol and moving on to the next item on my list. I saw Spencer as I was checking out, already waiting.

“Okay, what’s going on?” I asked as we loaded the bags into the car, “You just ran off.”

He bit his lip and asked me to sit down.

“When, uh,” he hesitated, “When was your last period?”

I blinked, “Almost a month ago? I don’t know, I’m due soon.”

He pulled out what was in the bag, “I- I think you should use this.”

I blinked and looked down at the package. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m fairly sure your last cycle was five weeks ago, and you’ve been being weird about food recently.” He looked down for a second, “It’s just a hunch, but…”

“That’s why you were weird about the alcohol?”

He nodded.

“Oh, okay,” I had no idea now to react. “I guess I’ll take it when we get home.”

***

I waited as the test developed, pacing back and forth across the bathroom.

_There’s no way Spencer knows I’m pregnant before I do._

“I’m sorry,” he muttered from his spot on the bed, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I shook my head, “Don’t worry, I’m honestly just… I thought I’d notice I guess.”

“It’s probably nothing.” He shrugged.

“But it might not be.”

I looked at my watch and walked over to the test, looking back and forth between the package and the test.

“Hey, Spence?”

***

We were lucky that no cases came up on Halloween and I spent the entire day prepping food and drinks, letting Spencer be in charge of the dry ice in the punch bowl. When I was sure everything was ready (and there were multiple candy bowls by the door), I led Spencer back to the bedroom.

“Close your eyes,” I told him, “You don’t get to see the outfit until I say so.”

He obeyed and I walked to the closet, pulling down the boxes containing our outfits. I spread them out on the bed before guiding Spencer to stand in front of them.

“Can I open them now?” He asked.

I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me, “Go ahead.”

He opened his eyes and immediately broke down laughing. I’d found the skimpiest police officer costume possible: booty shorts, a crop top, and knee-high boots. I had a matching outfit with a short skirt, a shirt that tucked into it, garters, and handcuffs.

“You’re kidding,” he turned to me, “That’s so fucking cheesy.”

I shrugged, “Whoops. C’mon, let’s get dressed.”

I helped him into his outfit and pulled on my own, turning to Spencer and adjusting his collar. I trailed one hand down to ghost over his shorts, then smiled and walked out of the bedroom.

“Fucking tease,” he grumbled, following me.

I poured myself a drink and sipped, admiring Spencer, perking up when the doorbell rang.

“Did you think about the fact that children might ring the doorbell?” Spencer asked as I walked to the door.

I grinned and gestured to the hook by the door, where a bathrobe with a pattern of bats hung, one that went past my knees and tied enough to cover everything up. I peeked through the peephole, seeing several small children, and wrapped the robe around myself, tying it quickly and grabbing a candy bowl and opening the door.

“Trick or treat!” The kids chorused.

I smiled and knelt down, offering the bowl, “I love your costumes!”

The kids were all dressed like superheroes, and it was such a large group they made up all the Avengers and several other characters. They dug into the candy bowl, picking their favorite candies at my insistence, and the parents thanked me.

“Happy Halloween!” I waved as they walked away, closing the door and setting the candy down.

“You’re adorable,” Spencer kissed me.

I shushed him, kissing him again as I shed the bathrobe, humming as his arms wrapped around me.

“You’re great with kids,” he smiled, “It’s really cute.”

I shushed him again by puling him into a kiss, only stopping when the doorbell rang again. I turned and looked through the peephole to see Garcia waving. I handed Spencer the bathrobe and opened the door.

“Hey, Pen!” I pulled her into a hug, “You look fabulous!”

She was wearing a dress with phases of the moon on the hem and waist, with spiderwebs covering most of the rest of it. She had matching heels with little spiderwebs on the front.

“Thank you!” She spun around, showing off the entire dress, then stepped inside, eyes widening when she saw Spencer’s outfit. “Oh. Oh wow.”

I laughed a little, “Enjoying the view?”

“Never thought I’d see Spencer dressed like that is all,” She managed, “How is he wearing less clothing than you?”

“I chose the outfits.” I answered.

Spencer blushed a little, trying to find something to busy himself with.

“Figures,” Garcia laughed, grabbing a piece of candy from one of the bowls, “You both look fabulous, by the way.”

The rest of the team arrived over the next half hour, as well as several groups of kids from the neighborhood.

Hotch raised an eye at my outfit, as if to say, ‘in front of my kid?’, but Jack left with Jessica before I had to make any excuses. Aaron was just wearing a Spiderman onesie, clearly chosen by Jack, and he looked adorable in it.

Morgan showed up in an… elf outfit?

“Hey, babe, it’s Halloween, not Christmas.” Garcia teased, “Did you forget?”

“You’re just mad I can recycle my costume for Christmas, and you can’t,” he replied.

Rossi had, after a bunch of pleading and bribing, agreed to dress up, donning a chef’s coat and a large nametag with ‘Chef Ramsay’ in bright red letters. He refused to do the voice or anything else, but we all considered the costume a win.

Emily and JJ had apparently decided on doing a couple’s costume, because they entered with yin and yang outfits that fit together when they stood next to each other. We all sat around, telling stories and eating Halloween-themed snacks, taking turns opening the door for any kids that came by.

“Let’s watch a Halloween movie!” Garcia cheered.

I smiled at Spencer, “You’re not allowed to choose.”

“I vote horror.” Morgan raised his hand. “Anyone else?”

“Hocus Pocus,” Penelope countered.

“I think we should reenact Rocky Horror,” Emily piped up, “You two have the outfits for it.”

“Hell yes!” I cheered, “But all of you have to dress up too.”

Hotch shook his head, “No way.”

To everyone’s surprise, Rossi turned to Aaron, “I will if you do.”

There was no way he could turn that down. He begrudgingly agreed and I smiled, running to the bedroom to pull out outfits, adjusting courses as needed and pulling out feather boas.

“(Y/N),” I heard Hotch call from our spare bedroom, where he was changing, “Can you lace me up?”

JJ raised an eyebrow at me, “Well, damn. Since when you get that honor?”

“I don’t kiss and tell,” I smiled and walked to the bedroom, finding Hotch holding the black corset around his chest. “Aaron, you aren’t supposed to take the laces out completely, I already loosened it for you.”

“Oh.”

I laughed and began lacing him up, making sure it was comfortable as I went, tying it off and adjusting it to make sure it was lined up properly.

“Thanks,” he smiled, turning to me, “Sorry about that.”

“No worries, this isn’t my first time dealing with newbies and corsets,” I teased, then winked, “Enjoy that thought.”

I walked back to the bedroom, making sure everyone was set before we paraded out into the living room, where I’d asked Spencer to push all the couches out of the way.

None of us could keep straight faces throughout the movie, laughing as we danced and flirted and sang. I’d watched the movie several times, both performed and just the movie, and basically had the entire thing memorized. Emily did too, while everyone else had varying knowledge. Closed captions were our savior.

By the end, we were all on the floor laughing. None of us bothered to turn the TV off as the credits rolled, instead ending up lounging on the floor or couches.

“I gotta say, Hotch, you look good in a corset,” Emily called from her position on the floor, “Like, _damn._ ”

“He looks better with-“ Spencer started, but I clapped a hand over his mouth.

“What’s the end of that sentence?” Emily asked.

“You can’t just start that sentence and not tell us what the end of it is,” Rossi said, lounging over one of the chairs. “Aaron, are you going to tell us?”

Hotch sighed, giving me a death glare.

“Up to you,” I shrugged.

Aaron sighed, “You can finish the sentence, Spencer.”

Spencer grinned at me, “He looks better with (Y/N)’s strap in his ass.”

Silence.

Garcia’s eyes darted between us. “No way.”

I shrugged.

“The two of you,” Emily started, “You two did it?”

“Three,” Hotch sighed, “All three of us.”

“Well, damn,” Morgan laughed.

Garcia was still looked between the three of us as if trying to figure out if we were lying.

“Change the subject please,” JJ sighed, “Don’t need that in my head.”

“Boring!” Morgan gave her a thumbs down, “But fine. I want to know how you have this many corsets.”

“One guess,” I gave him a look.

“Never mind.”

I stood up, “Anyone else want another drink?”

“(Y/N),” Spencer said, a question obvious in his voice.

I gave him a look, “I’m not, Spencer.”

Everyone looked between us.

“What’s going on?” Emily asked, “What was that?”

I glared at Spencer. We hadn’t even talked about whether we were going to say anything, and I knew he was just looking out for me, but I had to answer now.

“Can I talk to you for a second, Spencer?” I asked, walking back to the bedroom.

I heard him follow, closing the door behind us.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to endanger-“

“I know why you said it, I was just…” I sighed, “You know about the statistics, it might not even be anything. I might…”

“I’ll just say I wasn’t thinking, I’m drunk, it’s okay,” he reassured me.

“They’ll see past it.”

I paced back and forth, weighing my options.

“Okay,” I sighed, “Let’s tell them.”

We walked back out, where everyone was staring at the hallway that led to our bedroom, waiting.

“Is everything okay?” JJ asked.

I nodded, “We have something to tell you.”

I felt Spencer’s hand slip into mine, and I took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

The room exploded with congratulations. JJ rushed toward me, pulling me into a hug, Garcia quickly following. Spencer was beaming as Rossi and Aaron congratulated him before hugging me.

“You’re serious?” Aaron asked, “This isn’t a Halloween prank?”

I shook my head, “I took a test yesterday, it’s why I haven’t had anything alcoholic tonight.”

“That’s great for you,” Rossi smiled at us, “Mazel tov.”

I blinked, “You’re Italian, Dave, not Jewish.”

“So, sue me,” he hugged me, “I’m so happy for you both.”

JJ smiled, hugging me again, “Congratulations, I’ve got some clothes if you need to borrow them.”

“That’s a long way away, I don’t want to think about that yet,” I groaned.

Another round of congratulations started, with more hugs, until Spencer and I decided we needed to sit back down. Spencer kept his arm wrapped around me, more possessive than he usually was. We sat around talking until the doorbell rang.

“It’s 1 AM, who’s still trick or treating?” I groaned and stood up, grabbing my bathrobe and peeking through the peephole, but I didn’t see anyone. “Weird.”

I decided to open the door anyways and was immediately tackled, making me scream.

“What the-“

When I finally regained my balance, I saw Jenna laughing, covered in stickers and body glitter.

“You scared me!” I complained.

She shrugged, “I got off early today and thought I’d come to say hi.”

“It’s good to see you,” I smiled, hugging her, “Just- don’t do that again.”

She kissed my cheek, “Fine.”

“Hey, Jenna!” Spencer waved from the couch.

“Hey, Spencie,” she walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, leaving a bright red lipstick mark, “Nice outfit.”

I coughed loudly and help up the hand with my bracelet and wedding ring, “Watch it, honey.”

“Whoops!” She turned to the group, “Hi, everyone.”

They waved, but Jenna’s attention was fixed on Penelope.

“And who are you?” Jenna’s hips swayed as she walked towards Garcia. “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting, I’m Jenna.”

Penelope blushed, “I’m Penelope. Garcia. Technical analyst, you’re the stripper, right?”

Jenna laughed and nodded, “I’m assuming you’re part of the team who helped at the club I work at?”

Pen nodded. “That’s me.”

“Well, then, I guess I owe you a big thank you,” Jenna kissed Penelope’s cheek.

“Jenna,” I said, “You don’t need to bang everyone on the team.”

She turned to me, pouting, “Spoilsport.”

Hotch looked at me, one eyebrow raised, glancing at my belly.

“Oh, right!” I exclaimed, “Jenna, I’m pregnant.”

She almost screamed and pulled me into a hug, “You’re kidding!”

I shook my head, “I just told the team when you arrived.”

“I’m so happy for you,” she hugged me again, “That’s amazing.”

I smiled, laughing at the body glitter all over my outfit. “You really owe Spencer for noticing, he thought I was before I even considered it.”

“Well, damn, boy genius,” Rossi teased, “Nice going.”

Jenna got a drink and settled down, but the party didn’t last much longer: Hotch and Rossi both needed to get home, and everyone followed soon after, until Jenna was the only one left, talking to me and Spencer as we cuddled on the couch.

“I’m so happy for both of you,” Jenna was still smiling.

I looked up, kissing Spencer, “We’re both really excited, we only found out yesterday.”

“And you’re already announcing it?”

“Spencer spilled the beans,” I answered, “We’re not making a proper announcement for another few weeks.”

Spencer kept his arms wrapped around me, one hand resting just below my belly button. “I’m not apologizing, I was looking out for you.”

I kissed him again, “I know, sweetie.” I shifted a little to a more comfortable position.

“You two should have some alone time,” Jenna said, standing up, “Although clearly you’ve had enough to do something.”

I rolled my eyes and flipped her off, “Shut up.”

She blew me a kiss and I stood up, walking her to the door, getting another hug and kiss as she walked away. I closed the door and turned to Spencer, who immediately picked me up, carrying me to the bedroom.

“My wife,” he hummed, putting me down gently.

“Spence,” I muttered, “We need to clean up.”

“Fine.” He moved away and walked to the kitchen, beginning to clean up.

I followed and we moved quickly and silently, putting food in containers and trash in the bin until the house looked much more manageable, then went back to the bedroom.

“I love you,” I whispered against his lips as we kissed, hands roaming over one another.

He hummed, “I love you too.”

I fell asleep in his arms, happy and safe in Spencer’s arms.


	45. Past Problems, Present Cases, Future Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF S3LF H&RM AND SCARS. PLEASE DON'T READ IF THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING
> 
> A case involving s3lf h@rm causes you and Spencer to have a serious conversation about your pasts.

Spencer insisted on driving me to work, even though he normally hated driving, and I decided I wasn’t going to win that argument. I sipped my coffee (decaf, Spencer insisted I not have excessive caffeine) and relaxed.

When we arrived at work, Garcia was waiting, pulling me into a hug.

“I didn’t just dream that you’re pregnant, right?” She asked.

I shook my head, smiling, “Nope, it still feels crazy to me too, but it’s real.”

“I took a picture of the test to prove it,” Spencer raised his hand, “And I may have bought three more just to confirm.”

“I drank so much water yesterday,” I laughed, “But they’re all positive.”

She couldn’t stop congratulating us both as we walked into the bullpen, where Morgan was sitting on Spencer’s desk.

“So, I guess this proves you’ve actually done it, huh, pretty boy?” He teased.

“You could have just asked Rossi to see the security cams at his mansion,” Spencer shot back, “Or just used your eyes when you came over. Or it may have been obvious when we got married.”

“Well, damn, alright,” he laughed and got off the desk, “Point taken.”

JJ looked over at Reid’s comment, “Do I want to know?”

“You tell me, JJ,” I blew her a kiss and looked up at Hotch’s office, seeing the blinds closed. “What’s going on?”

“Meeting with HR, I think,” Penelope shrugged, “I was just told to wait until he’s done for the briefing.”

I nodded and leaned back, draining the last of my coffee.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay to go into the field?” Garcia asked, rubbing my shoulders.

“I didn’t get this treatment!” JJ complained, “Since when is (Y/N) everyone’s favorite.”

I winked dramatically. “I’m fine, Garcia, I’m barely pregnant.”

Hotch’s office door opened and I didn’t recognize the person who walked out, but he nodded to Penelope. We all filed up to the briefing room, Hotch catching me and Spencer on the way.

“Are you doing okay?” He asked me.

I nodded, “We’ve had this discussion for, I’m not a glass princess.”

“If you need anything, tell me,” he told me, then looked at Spencer, “Congratulations, baby.”

Spencer blushed, sidling closer to me, “Thank you.”

“Let’s go,” he motioned, leading us to the briefing room and nodding to Garcia.

“We’ve got six teenagers dead in Milwaukee, all within the past four days, all between fourteen and seventeen,” Garcia reported, showing pictures of the kids, not the scenes, “Not technically a serial killer, but we’re looking at serial suicides, so they’ve called us in.”

“Notes?” I asked, scrolling through the case information.

“Nothing yet,” She answered, “They’re still looking through the computers and phones of the kids.”

Morgan piped out, “Same cause of death?”

Garcia nodded, “Each of them used a thin blade to cut their wrists in the bathroom or bedroom. Still working on mental health history, but at least two have a history of self-harm.”

“We want to get there soon; this is happening fast, and we have no time to waste.” Hotch said, “Wheels up in 30.”

I looked up at Spencer, but he was already walking out of the room. Before I could follow, Garcia approached me.

“I tried to redact as many crime scene photos as possible, but there’s only so much I can do,” she sounded apologetic.

“I understand,” I said immediately, “I just… I need to make sure Spencer’s okay.”

“And you?”

I looked up, “What do you mean?”

“I’m not blind, it doesn’t take a profiler to see how you’re acting, and I’ve seen you undressed,” she reminded me, “Take care of yourself.” She walked out before I could respond.

I didn’t even think about my scars much anymore, but they were visible, especially in the summer, when the bright marks stood out. I sighed and walked out of the room, trying to keep myself occupied in the facts of the case. I walked over to Spencer’s desk, where he was pretending to be absorbed in the folder, but I knew he didn’t read that slowly.

“Spence,” I said, keeping my voice low, “Can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said, shutting me down.

I sighed, but I didn’t want to push him. I could tell Spencer was triggered by the pictures, I was so used to listening to his breathing and watching his body language from scenes he didn’t need to say anything.

***

“I’ve got more information on the victims,” Garcia said from the computer.

We all looked up from our seats around the plane.

“Three don’t have any history of self-harm we can find, no messages, anything. I’m looking for overlap on social media or websites visited, but some of these kids were better at hiding their tracks.” She sighed, “Four different schools, so no overlap there.”

I looked up, “What have the parents of other children been told?”

“I don’t know, local PD hasn’t gotten in touch.” Penelope shrugged.

“Get in contact, we need to warn them, it might delay what’s going on.” Hotch instructed.

“Are we even sure there’s an unsub here?” I asked, “When one person commits suicide, it often creates a chain. I admit they aren’t normally this close in timing, but…”

“Oh!” Garcia perked up, “I do have information on that. They all cut with razor blades bought from the same small pharmacy, all paid cash, and the cuts exactly match. None of that information is public and I couldn’t find texts between the kids, so that means the info is coming from somewhere else.”

“So, someone’s telling them exactly what to do,” I sighed, “And there are a million anonymous chat sites they could be using.”

“Not anonymous for _moi_ ,” Garcia smiled, “I’ll look into it and hit you back.” She hung up.

“All of these kids are in high school, two were about to go to college, why would they do this?” Emily asked.

“Do you want a list?” My tone was more abrasive than I intended, “All the worst shit in their lives is going on right now.”

“But this?” She sounded skeptical.

“The self-harm is a coping mechanism.” Morgan interrupted.

JJ looked up, “What kind of fucked up-“

“Yellow! Red!” Spencer was almost shouting from his position sitting in the corner of the plane, “Just stop.”

I was up and out of my chair before anyone else even registered what was going on. I pulled Spencer into my arms; he was already shaking.

“Everyone quiet, now,” Hotch ordered.

I practically had to pick Spencer up and moved him to a slightly more private area. Reid was shaking and sobbing, hands bunched in my shirt, and I slowly let us both down to the floor.

“Baby, it’s okay, I’m here,” I whispered, “You’re okay.”

“Why did I do it?” He muttered, “Why?”

He released my shirt and was clawing at his sweater sleeves.

“It’s not your fault,” I stopped him.

“Why did I do it?” He repeated.

“Spencer,” I tried, “I need you to look at me.”

“No,” he mumbled, “No, need it, stop, I need the pain.”

I took a deep breath. “Spencer, _look at me._ ” I used my ‘no-argument’, ‘you’re-about-to-get-punished’ tone I only used when he was in serious trouble. My full hard dom voice.

He immediately looked up, “Yes, ma’am?”

“What you did to yourself isn’t your fault,” I told him, “You were dealing with pain and grief and anxiety and so many other things and you’re recovering. It’s not your fault.”

“But-“

I shook my head, “No.”

He broke down in tears again, clinging to me as if he thought I might disappear.

“Spencer, there are a million reasons why-“ I froze, “Holy shit.”

He looked up, puzzled.

I turned to face Hotch, “Look at their Netflix history. 13 Reasons Why. That’s what they’re recreating.” He nodded and started messaging Garcia as I turned back to Spencer. “Sorry.”

“I…” his breath shook, “I helped?”

I nodded, “You helped me figure it out, baby.” I pulled him into my arms, rocking him back and forth.

“I have a lot of scars,” he mumbled into my neck.

“Scars mean you healed,” I reminded him, “I’m proud of your scars.”

“You mean that?” He looked up at me.

I nodded, “Really.”

We stayed on the floor, my arms wrapped around Spencer, until we had to buckle in for landing. Spencer was clinging to me, leaning against me as he held my hands tightly.

“Reid,” Hotch said, “Where will you be most comfortable?”

He thought for a second, and I looked up at Hotch, who nodded at my silent question.

“At the station,” he decided.

“Okay, the rest of us will go to the scenes, you two stay there. The families will be arriving, can you handle that?” Hotch asked, looking worried.

“Yeah, that’s okay.” Spencer sounded surer.

***

By that evening, we’d managed to connect the victims, find the site they were receiving instructions from, and had found the most likely next victims, putting them under 24-hour watch or protective custody. Garcia was working to figure out who the unsub was: he used multiple accounts and kept switching computers, networks, and hiding his IP address.

We made our way to the hotel and Hotch handed Spencer and I our keys first. We immediately walked to the room. I started stripping and getting ready for bed but paused when I saw my scars. I rarely thought about them anymore, but this case had drudged up all the memories about them. I turned to Spencer, who was just standing, watching me.

“I started when I was fourteen,” I said, gesturing to one cluster of scars, “The thing about having parents who love the outdoors is they teach you knife safety early on and don’t think twice about you having one.”

“My parents never even noticed what I had.” He said quietly.

“These,” I pointed to another set of scars, “Right before college, there was so much pressure and I slipped up.”

I was about to continue when Spencer pulled off his sweater and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off, turning so I could see the bright white marks on his shoulder. “I was eight.”

“Shit, Spencer,” I muttered.

The marks were from deep cuts, I could tell just from looking at them.

“I cut there for a while, then moved to my legs,” he pulled down his pants and showed me, “Only started my wrists in high school, I was… thirteen, I think.” He held out both arms, showing lines crossing both forearms.

“Holy shit,” I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t remember seeing that many scars on one person. “Spencer, I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, “Don’t apologize.”

I leaned down and kissed his forearm, up to his shoulder, and did the same with the other arm. I kissed my way down his chest, making him sit down onto the bed, and I just smiled and trailed kisses down his hips, making sure to focus on every single patch of scars.

“Spencer Reid,” I whispered, “You’re beautiful.”

“I…” he sighed.

“You are. You’re beautiful,” I cut him off by kissing him, “Don’t forget that ever.”

***

“I’ve got a likely candidate for unsub,” Garcia reported, “High school dropout with multiple accounts on every chat board I looked at, has a history of disciplinary issues, and several unwilling hospitalizations for self-harm, but he’s over 18 now.”

“Name?” I asked.

“Daniel Frederickson, I’m sending you his address now, and from the looks of it, he’s currently active, so be fast.”

Hotch looked at Spencer and I. We were already out of our seats. “No, you two stay here.”

“Why?” Spencer sounded angry, “We go in as a team.”

Hotch sighed, waiting until the rest of the team left the room, “I need this to be a clean takedown, that means no emotional reactions. I’m sorry, but you’re staying.” He walked away.

“Dammit,” Reid muttered, “We should be with them.”

“He’s right. We’re a liability on this case.” I sighed and sat down.

“So, what, are we taking JJ off every case involving children? Morgan off every takedown involving child abuse? No?” He was pacing angrily, “So why us now?”

“Because we both know we’d want someone to take it out on, and that kid is an easy target. What he did, what he’s doing, it’s messed up, but he’s an unsub, not the reason we have scars.”

Spencer turned, “Bullshit! Kids like him made my life hell. I was told to- to kill myself, to slit my wrists, and I nearly did because pieces of shit like him think they can just play with other’s lives.”

“That doesn’t mean we can take our anger out on him.” I fought to keep my voice calm. Part of me was on Spencer’s side. “We have to trust the system.”

“Fuck the system. We both know what the likelihood is that’s he’s a white kid who will get out after the minimum sentence, and he’ll go on abusing kids in some other form.” Spencer paced angrily, “It’s messed up, and it’s not fair.”

“Then we change the system, but for now, we have to trust in it.” I answered, “It wouldn’t help anyone or change anything if we decided to go in there and beat him up. Believe me, Spence, I want to, but it wouldn’t change what we did or what will happen to him.”

He sighed and sat down. We waited in silence until the team returned, unsub handed off to a local cop to be put in an interrogation room.

“We can go home as soon as he confesses,” Hotch reported as he walked in.

“Give me five minutes,” I stood, rolling up my sleeves, ignoring my lecture to Spencer from earlier, “I swear…”

“Stay out of it. Emily and JJ are questioning him. You two and Morgan are staying out of it. You’re not allowed to see him.”

 _Shit, Morgan._ I’d forgotten about his past.

“Where is he?” I asked.

“Right here, sweetie,” Morgan walked into the room, waving, “Did you miss me?”

I shot Hotch a look and he nodded, closing the door.

“Are you okay?” I approached him, pulling down my sleeves again, “I- I forgot to check in with you, I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine, really,” Morgan assured me, “I’m just glad we took down that son of a bitch.”

I nodded.

“How’s Spencer holding up?” he asked quietly.

I shrugged, “It’ll be better when this is over, and we can go home.” I turned to walk away, then turned back to Morgan, “By the way, you know you can always text me, right?”

He nodded.

“On either phone.” I said, knowing he’d understand.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Morgan smiled gratefully.

***

“We know the mistakes our parents made,” I whispered to Spencer as we lay in bed, his head on my chest, my arms around him, “We’re not doing that.”

“How do you know we won’t?” He asked.

“I have to believe in us,” I answered, “I have to believe that we can raise this kid better than we were.”

“I just never want them to feel alone,” Spencer’s voice was no more than a whisper.

“They won’t,” I shifted to kiss him, “Not with us as parents.”

“I really hope you’re right.”

My dreams were full of memories of what I’d done to myself, my journey as I forced myself to heal. I dreamt of our child, and I prayed with every fiber of my being I could protect them from what Spencer and I had endured.


	46. Pretty Boy's Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer is a brat.  
> You and Morgan and Spencer have some fun time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have some gratuitous filth ya nasties.  
> Srsly though I love you all, thank you for reading. <3

**_Message from: Garcia  
_ ** **When do I get to plan a baby shower?**

 **_Message to: Garcia  
_ ** **After I get through the first trimester.**

 **_Message from: Garcia  
_ ** **Three months???**

 **_Message to: Garcia  
_ ** **Two and a half.**

 **_Message from: Garcia  
_ ** **I’m marking my calendar.**

I chuckled as I set my phone down, gratefully accepting a cup of coffee from Spencer. “I’m pretty sure if we don’t make Garcia the godmother of this kid, she’ll have a conniption fit.”

“I think she just wants to be an aunt.” Spencer smiled, “Can we call her that?”

“The team is our family,” I nodded, “She’s Aunt Penelope, definitely.”

“Does that mean Henry, Jack, and this baby are cousins?”

I thought for a second, “Yeah, sure. I guess. Defining family by biology is dumb, anyways.” I’d decided a long time ago that wasn’t how I wanted to decide who I was close to.

“I still can’t believe we’re having a kid,” Spencer sighed and sipped his coffee.

“Wait, Spencer,” I sat up suddenly, “Is Morgan Uncle Derek or Daddy?”

He reached across the table to hit my arm, “Shut up.”

“I mean, I know you’re their dad, but…” I laughed.

“Uncle Derek. End of discussion.” Spencer was holding back a smile, I could tell.

“Ugh, _fine_ ,” I grinned as I sipped my coffee, “Have you told your mum?”

“Not yet, I think I want to invite her to the baby shower though. If that’s okay with you.”

I nodded, “It’s up to you, I’d be happy to have her there.”

“I’ll talk to her about it.”

I leaned back, groaning a little, “If this kid ever complains about anything, I’m going to point out that they sat on my bladder for nine months, so they better be grateful they get anything.”

“Technically it’s closer to six-“ Spencer started.

“Don’t.” I stopped him. “I know, but just be quiet.”

“Yes ma’am,” he teased.

I stood up and moved around the table, sitting in front of him, “What was that?”

Spencer looked up at me, “I said, ‘yes, ma’am’.”

“Were you being sarcastic with me?” I asked, leaning closer.

He dropped his eyes, “Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry.”

I thought for a second, then smiled, remembering the new jewelry that had arrived while we were on the case. “Go to the bedroom, strip, and kneel.”

He immediately went, and I walked to the hall closet, pulling out a box and opening it to make sure it was what I wanted. I tucked the box in my pocket and waited a minute before walking to the bedroom. Spencer’s clothes were folded, and he was kneeling patiently, eyes trained on the floor. I smiled and walked to the closet, pulling out clothes for both of us and putting them on the bed, then opened the toy drawer and pulled out a plug and lube.

“Bend over the bed,” I ordered.

He rushed to obey, “Yes, Mistress.” He bent over, pushing is ass out and wiggling it a little.

“Whore,” I muttered, rubbing one hand over his ass.

The plug I’d chosen was small enough that I didn’t prep him before I show began pushing it in, making him whine. He knew better than to move, though – the one time he’d done that without being prepped, it wasn’t as pleasant as he thought it would be. When it was fully in, I took out the box and opened it, picking up the delicate chain necklace with two fingers.

“Kneel in front of the mirror,” I ordered.

He did, spreading his legs and keeping his hands behind his back. I brushed the hair out of his face and made him look up as I put the necklace on him. It was a thin gold chain, with one word in large cursive letters at the front:  
 _SLUT_

I smiled as I moved away, Spencer almost unconsciously reaching up to adjust it as he stuttered for words.

“Thank you, Mistress,” he finally said.

“You’re welcome,” I kissed his cheek, “Now get dressed, we need to run some errands.”

He stood, taking a second to adjust to the plug again (he’d mostly crawled to the mirror), then walked to the bed. I was already pulling on my clothes, but I turned around so he could clasp my bra. It was a simple act, but he liked doing it for me. I pulled on jeans and a loose t-shirt (and old one of Spencer’s, I think) and smiled at the outfit I’d picked for Spencer: a tight t-shirt and sweatpants that highlighted his bulge, with high-top converse. I slipped on flats and we left, but not before I adjusted the necklace to make sure it was visible.

I only needed to get groceries, but I decided I’d have a little fun, so we went to a pet supply shop. Spencer was silent as we walked in but shot me a dirty look as he saw where we were going: towards the collars and leashes.

I spotted an employee and approached them, “Excuse me?”

“How can I help you?” They asked.

“I’m wondering if you carry choke collars,” I said.

Their eyes widened, “Those are not good for training animals, they-“

“It’s not for an animal,” I said quickly.

The employee’s eyes darted between me and Spencer, who was standing behind me, eyes trained on the floor.

“I see. I believe we have a few basic chain collars, if you’ll follow me.” They began walking and I followed, taking Spencer’s hand in mine.

“I’m going to kill you,” he muttered.

I smiled and kissed him, “No you aren’t.”

“Here they are, can I help you with anything else?” They employee pointed towards the chain collars, tucked away at the end of an aisle.

I shook my head, “No, thank you.”

After they walked away, I reached forward, considering the different collars they had before picking the most basic chain collar. “What do you think?”

“It’s durable, hypoallergenic, a good length,” Spencer was avoiding the question.

“For you,” I stopped him, “What do you think of it as a play collar for you?”

He bit his lip, thinking, “I prefer your hand, Mistress, but it’s good for petplay.”

I hummed in agreement, handing it to him, “I’m going next door to get a snack, meet me there after you’ve paid.”

I walked out of the store and to the fro-yo shop next door, getting what I wanted before sitting outside, waiting. Spencer exited seconds later, walking straight to me.

“There you go, ma’am,” he said.

“Color?” I checked. He just looked embarrassed, but I wanted to make sure.

“Green, just-“ he blushed, “I saw the person who helped us again as I checked out. They complimented my necklaces.”

“Well, they are pretty,” I smiled.

He walked inside to get his own treat before sitting next to me. “I was thinking…”

“Oh, no,” I teased, “That’s not good.”

“Shut up,” he muttered, “I was thinking about maybe asking Morgan to come over.”

I looked up at him, surprised, “Is there a specific scene you wanted to try?”

He bit his lip, looking around to make sure no one was in earshot, “I- I want you to tie him up and make me pleasure him.”

“You want him and you both to submit to me?” I clarified, “But your primary focus would still be his pleasure?”

“And yours, Mistress,” Spencer said quickly, “But yes.”

I smiled, “I’ll have to ask Derek what he thinks, and we’ll need to renegotiate limits for him as a submissive.”

“I know, but it’s something I want to try,” he confirmed.

I nodded and pulled out my phone, quickly typing a message.

 **_Message to: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **Are you interested in being a submissive?**

I thought about clarifying, but decided not to, instead putting it away and kissing Spencer, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he smiled, “Thank you.”

***

 **_Message from: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **Possibly, what were you thinking?**

 **_Message to: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **Roughly quoting Reid: ‘Morgan tied up while I pleasure him’  
We’ll go through the list again, of course**

 **_Message from: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **I’ll be there in 10**

“Spence!” I called down the hall, “Morgan’s going to be here soon.”

“What?” He ran out of the bathroom, towel slipping down his waist, “Today?”

I shrugged, “Yeah.”

“Can you pick my outfit?”

“Sure,” I stood up, “Dry yourself off, baby.”

He looked down as if just remembering he’d gotten out of the shower a minute ago, walked back into the bathroom, and I avoided the small puddle of water as I walked to the bedroom, considering my options. I pulled out a lacy jockstrap, one I’d bought on our first trip together, and placed it on the bed. I thought for a second, then grabbed a medium-sized metal butt plug.

Once those were set on the bed, I grabbed my outfit: A lacy black corset that didn’t hide anything and showed off my curves, matching underwear, and a silky robe that I left untied, though I kept the removable strip of material on. I adjusted myself in the mirror, pulled on a pair of black heels, and walked to the doorway of the bathroom.

“Your outfit is on the bed, put it on and then come to the living room and kneel,” I instructed. “You can leave the necklace off.”

“Yes, ma’am,” He said, barely looking up at me.

I smiled and walked to the living room, placing a pillow on the floor before grabbing a copy of the list (I always had a few printed out, just in case) and a pen, setting them on the table next to the chair across from mine. I grabbed my play bag from the closet and pulled out a few toys, setting them aside, then sat down, idly scrolling through my phone.

I heard Spencer walk down the hall and turned to see him in what I’d put out, bright red with embarrassment. He spotted the pillow and dropped to his knees beside me, adjusting into position.

“Color?” I asked, running one hand through his hair gently.

“Green,” he assured me.

 **_Message to: Chocolate Thunder  
_ ** **Door’s open**

A few minutes later I heard a car pull up and turn off, so I put my phone down and looked up to see Morgan walk in, pausing for a second as he saw us before closing the door and taking the seat opposite mine.

“Hey, Derek,” I smiled, “Do you want anything to drink?”

He shook his head, “No, thanks.”

I waited for him to speak, still combing through Spencer’s hair with my fingers.

“So, this was pretty boy’s idea, huh?” Morgan said, clearly unsure how to start the conversation.

“The little slut,” I tugged his hair a little as I said it, “Decided he wanted to be a good fucktoy and let you use him for your pleasure.”

“But I’d still submit to you?”

I nodded, “I’d have you tied up and you’d have to ask me permission before you orgasm, if that’s okay with you.”

Morgan fell silent again, thinking. Spencer shifted to lean his head against my thigh, humming happily as my fingers ran through his hair.

“Safewords are still the same?”

“Those don’t change, and the stoplight system is more or less universal,” I confirmed, “And we don’t have to do anything tonight. We’ll take this at your pace.”

“I think,” Morgan hesitated, “I think I want it. Need it? I had a girlfriend I was submissive with a couple times and it was oddly relaxing.”

“You’re giving up control in a safe environment,” Spencer piped up, “Letting someone else take charge. You’re only responsible for how you feel.”

Derek nodded, “Yeah, exactly, it felt like letting go.”

“Do you know what’s different in terms of boundaries as a submissive?” I asked, gesturing towards the list next to him.

“No anal penetration of any kind,” he said immediately, “It’s just- no.”

Spencer and I both nodded in understanding.

“I’ve experimented with ropes and self-bondage, so as long as my movement isn’t too restricted, I think I’m okay. Just keep an eye on me,” he looked at me, continuing when I confirmed I would, “Consensual non-consent is an absolute no, if I ever say stop or anything that means stop. Spanking… only with your hand. No gags, blindfolds are okay. No, uh, sounding.”

“That’s not something we do,” I said quickly.

Spencer shuddered dramatically at the suggestion. Not his cup of tea.

“Oh, good, okay. No knives, no guns, no feet, no masks, and I think that covers it.” Morgan finished. “I got tested last week, I’m clean.”

I nodded. Nothing that wasn’t easily avoidable, and it all made sense. I was glad he’d been recently tested.

“How do you feel about being cuffed to something?” I asked.

“Like, to a headboard? That’s okay, just- don’t make it feel like I’m being kidnapped I guess.” He shrugged, “Sorry, I don’t know how else to explain it.”

I shook my head, “Don’t apologize for your limits. They’re there for a reason and we’ll respect them.”

Morgan nodded gratefully.

“What can I call you?” I asked. I could tell he was hesitating to answer. “We’re not going to judge.”

“Can you still call me daddy?” He said, voice quieter than before.

I nodded, “Any degradation?”

“I prefer praise, if that’s okay.” Morgan shifted a little.

“Spencer,” I said, making him look up, “Take a coil of green rope and one of black, the padded leather cuffs, and a cock ring.”

Reid nodded and stood up, leaving Morgan and I alone in the living room. I finally took the time to look him over: he’d worn jeans and a muscle tee, and he looked good in it. I stood up and walked to the play closet, pulling out the collars I’d picked earlier and setting them on the island.

“If you’re okay with it, pick one,” I said, gauging his reaction.

Morgan rose and walked over, looking at the collars, thinking. He finally picked up a basic leather one with a large O-ring in the front and held it out to me. I walked over to the couch, grabbed a pillow, and threw it at his feet.

“Kneel.”

He dropped to his knees, trying to imitate Spencer’s position. I corrected small details before crouching to clasp the collar. Morgan visibly relaxed as I placed it around his neck. I let him get used to it for a second, then wrapped a finger around the O-ring and jerked him towards me.

“Tonight, you’re mine,” I growled, “And we’re going to have so much fun. Follow me.”

I stood and walked to the bedroom; hearing Morgan follow me. I smiled at the sight of Spencer on his knees at the foot of the bed, the items I’d requested spread out over the sheets.

I turned to Morgan, “What are the safewords?”

“Green for good, yellow for check in, red or kiwi for stop, but if I say no or stop, you’ll stop as well.” He said.

I nodded, “And your color right now?”

“Green.”

“Green, what?” I asked, stepping closer to him.

“Green, ma’am.” His breath quickened and he dropped his eyes to the ground.

I smiled, “Better.” I walked to the bed and grabbed the green coil of rope, “Strip.”

He rushed to pull off his clothes, tossing them aside. Normally, I’d require him to fold them, but I decided against it, instead admiring his body. While Reid was skinny, Morgan was muscular and fit, with defined abs, a tight ass, and arms that bulged with muscle. Not to mention his cock, half-hard, thicker than Spencer’s, though a little shorter.

“Arms out.”

He obeyed and I began assembling the harness, an asymmetrical design that anchored on one shoulder and weaved down his body, ending just above his waist. I took the other coil of rope and attached it to the first, wrapping the rope between his legs and around his thighs, but made sure he still had a full range of movement. He dropped his arms.

“Spencer, prep your daddy for the cock ring.” I said, walking back to the bed.

Spencer rushed to obey, standing up to walk to Morgan before dropping back into his knees, not even bothering to stroke him before gently kissing and licking the tip of his cock. Morgan groaned in pleasure and almost moved his hands but clenched his arms to keep them still. Reid took the opportunity to fully take Morgan into his mouth, beginning to suck eagerly, eyes trained on Derek’s.

“Fuck,” Morgan muttered, “If I knew your mouth was that good, I’d have married you myself.”

I chuckled as I walked back, spinning the ring around one finger. Spencer looked up at me, continuing his task. I held it out and he reached up to take it, popping off and slipping the ring onto Derek in one smooth move.

“Hands in front,” I said, ignoring Morgan’s protesting noises as Spencer moved away.

He obeyed and I cuffed him, then grabbed the chain between the cuffs and led him over to the bed, where there was a hook (well, actually, several hooks) installed in the headboard for this exact purpose.

“Lay down.”

Morgan did, spreading his legs as he settled, and I pulled his hands above his head and attached them to one of the hooks, making sure it was secure.

I turned to Spencer, who was patiently waiting, “You can continue.”

Spencer smiled and climbed onto the bed, sitting on his knees between Morgan’s legs before leaning down to eagerly continue sucking.

“Fucking hell,” Morgan groaned, pushing his head back into the pillows, “Just like that.”

“You can fuck his mouth, daddy, he can take it,” I reached forward and pulled Spencer’s hair, making him gasp.

Derek took the opportunity to thrust up into Spencer’s throat, making sloppy, wet noises as Spencer drooled and gagged. I moved my hand away, walking to the drawer and grabbing a container of lube. Spencer didn’t notice as I walked around the bed, but he gasped and moaned when I pushed against the plug with one finger.

“Damn, pretty boy.” Morgan gave a breathy laugh.

I made sure the plug was lubed sufficiently before slowly beginning to fuck Spencer with it, angling it so I hit his prostate with every small thrust in. Unable to hold back, Spencer moaned repeatedly, making Morgan thrust up into him. When I decided Reid had enough, I pulled the plug out, setting it aside. He whined at the loss.

“How do you feel about your legs being tied?” I asked, walking around the bedpost so I could see Morgan’s face.

“No rope, cuffs like these are okay,” he answered, trying to gesture to the cuffs around his wrists.

I nodded and grabbed the ankle restraints of our under-bed bondage system, pulling his legs out and cuffing them as Spencer continued sucking. Morgan tested the restraints, but we both knew he couldn’t, and wouldn’t want to get out.

“Pet,” I said, making Spencer stop and look at me, “You’re going to ride daddy.”

“Yes, Mistress,” He smiled and sat up.

“Straddle his hips,” I ordered.

Spencer moved into position; hips positioned above Morgan. I leaned forward, stroking Morgan a few times before slowly guiding Spencer down, making both men moan. Spencer took a few seconds to adjust, then began moving, fingers digging into his thighs in pleasure.

“Damn, that feels so fucking good,” Morgan thrust up.

“Don’t move,” I ordered, stalking forward to grab the ring on his collar. “Did I tell you to do that?”

He groaned, “No, Mistress.”

“Then don’t do it,” I released him.

I stepped back, admiring the scene as I dropped my robe, watching the chain connecting Spencer’s nipple clamps bounce up and down, making him whine.

“Fucking slut,” I grabbed Spencer’s hair and pulling him into a kiss, “You love being a good whore for me.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he gasped against my mouth.

I looked down at Derek, who was staring at us, but I knew he wasn’t in the submissive headspace he was seeking. I released Spencer and grabbed a blindfold, double-checking with Morgan before slipping it over his eyes, then leaned down.

“You’re going to let us take care of you,” I reminded him, “Just relax.”

He nodded. I moved down to sit between his legs, running my nails over the inside of his thighs. Morgan gasped and twitched, legs tensing.

“Fucking- shit,” he panted.

I smiled and grabbed a part of the rope harness, tugging on it suddenly. This made a rope tighten against his ass and between his legs.

“Mistress,” Spencer whined, catching himself on his hands, “Daddy feels so fucking good.”

“And?” I asked, still running my fingers down Morgan’s thighs.

“I want to cum,” Reid panted, “Want to cum for you, ma’am.”

“No.” I said simply, moving one hand to stroke him, “You can take it.”

Spencer whined, breath coming out in short pants, “Yes Mistress.” His movements were becoming jerkier and more desperate.

“Enough.” I stopped Spencer, pulling his hips away from Morgan.

Spencer groaned, “Mistress, why?”

“Because I told you to,” I growled into his ear, pushing the plug back into him before putting a pillow on the floor, “Kneel.”

He obeyed. I started stroking Morgan, pulling the ropes tighter.

“Ma’am?” His voice was higher than usual, desperate. “Please.”

“Please what?” I asked, smiling even though he couldn’t see me.

He tugged against the cuffs, fighting to keep his hips still, “I want to cum.”

I leaned down, biting his ear, “Too bad.”

“Please,” Morgan panted.

“If you’re going to ask for something, be specific,” I reminded him.

“Want to make you feel good,” he gasped as I passed my thumb over the tip of his cock, “I want to pleasure you, Mistress.”

I looked to at Spencer, who was staring at us, resisting the urge not to touch himself, then turned back to Morgan, “With your dick or your mouth?”

“Whatever Mistress wants,” he said quickly.

I thought for a second, then reached up and undid his cuffs, throwing them and the blindfold to the side. “You’re going to fuck me and suck my little slut off, got it, daddy?”

His eyes were full of pure lust, “Yes, Mistress.”

I undid the ankle cuffs, letting him slowly sit up. When he nodded, signaling he was okay to move, I helped him to the foot of the bed before laying down, propping up my hips with a pillow.

“Spencer, get a leash, then come join us,” I smiled at him.

“Yes, Mistress,” Spencer stood and retrieved a chain leash from the drawer, handing it to me.

I clipped it onto the O-ring of Derek’s collar, holding it loosely in one hand as Spencer moved to straddle me, placing his legs on either side of my chest, making sure I could still move my arms.

“Start fucking me, daddy,” I almost spat the last word.

Morgan, spurred into action, slowly pushed inside of me before leaning forward. I couldn’t see, but I could hear Spencer moan as Derek started sucking him, one hand braced on the bed and the other wrapped around Reid’s cock. I pulled the leash, reminding him to move, which he did eagerly. Eventually, Morgan decided he couldn’t support himself with just one hand and dug his fingers into the sheets and he thrust forward, Spencer matching every thrust. I could hear Morgan gag and moan around Spencer, and I knew without even looking at Spencer than he was close. I ran my nails down his thighs, making him shake.

“Fuck, Morgan,” I gasped as he thrust deep, “Don’t stop.”

Encouraged, Morgan sped up, gripping my hips as he thrust faster, angling my hips. Spencer supported him with one hand braced under the other man’s chest.

“How does it feel, slut, seeing daddy fuck your Mistress and suck your cock?” I slapped his ass for emphasis, “Tell me how good it feels.”

“So fucking good, ma’am, I can, fuck, I can feel him moan, I can see your legs shake and your hands all over me,” Spencer moaned, “So- shit, so good.”

I scrambled for a handhold as my orgasm washed over me, gripping Spencer’s hips like a vice. Morgan groaned as I clenched around him.

“You can take the ring off,” I managed, gasping at my own increased sensitivity, “Take it off and beg.”

Morgan pulled out and put the cock ring aside before entering me, grunting, “Fuck, Mistress, holy- so good, feels so good, want to cum in you.”

“Keep sucking Spencer,” I ordered, “When- when you’re both ready, we’ll cum all together.”

Morgan obediently went back to being throat-fucked by Reid, who wasn’t holding back any of his own noises, and I was amazed he could still hold himself up.

“Mistress, I- I want to cum with you and daddy,” Spencer whined.

I could barely keep my thoughts coherent as I felt another orgasm approaching, “Daddy- Morgan, you can let him cum in you or not, it’s up to you. Same with cumming in me. Understand?”

He moved away from Spencer for a second, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Fuck,” I moaned as I got close, “Fuck- Cum, both of you.” Those were the last words I could get out before a second wave of ecstasy swept over my body, making me shake with pleasure, eyes clenched shut, pulling the leash hard.

I could hear both men groaning with pleasure, but it took me a second to process what happened as Morgan came inside me, thrusting shallowly. When I opened my eyes, Spencer had moved away and sat down, and I saw Morgan’s face covered in his cum.

“Damn,” I panted as I slowly sat up, “That’s hot as hell.”

Spencer had managed to mostly avoid his eyes, instead coating his lips, tongue, and chin. I looked at Reid, a silent question in my eyes, and he nodded, understanding. I tugged the leash and pulled Morgan into a kiss, tasting Spencer’s salty semen on him. Morgan moaned into the kiss. When I pulled away, his eyes fluttered open, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Come here, baby,” I gestured to Reid, pulling him into a kiss, letting him taste himself on my tongue. One of his hands wrapped around the back of my head, tugging my hair a little. I pulled away, “I love you.”

“I love you too, ma’am.” He hummed, settling back.

I reached forward, unclipping the leash from the ring of Morgan’s collar, “I’m not going to take the collar off until you tell me it’s okay, understand?”

Morgan nodded. I reached over to the bedside table, grabbing wipes and helped Morgan clean himself up. Spencer stayed back until I was sure Derek was okay, then moved forward, nuzzling into my shoulder.

I laughed, “Hi, baby.”

Spencer mumbled something unintelligible and stayed where he was. Morgan seemed uncomfortable, but that went away when I pulled him against me too.

“Thank you,” he said, leaning against my abdomen, breathing slowing. “That was, fuck, that was amazing.”

“Any time, Derek,” I said, running one hand down his back.

He laughed a little, “Now I’m kind of jealous Reid over here gets you all the time.”

“We’ve got the collar and the rings, she’s mine,” Spencer’s tone was part-joking, part-possessive.

“Be nice, sweetheart,” I chided, “You might not be so jealous when you find out how often he gets punished.”

“Yeah, enough said, no thank you,” Morgan shifted a little, “I’ve seen how pretty boy over here sits when we get called in for a case all of a sudden.”

I laughed, then settled back, letting my eyes drift shut. I must have been more tired than I thought, though, because I woke up to the muted voices of both men. I mentally cursed myself for falling asleep before making sure they were okay, but reassured myself one of them would have woken me up if there was an issue, and Spencer knew my rope designs just as well as I did.

“You’re really lucky to have her,” Morgan’s voice.

“I can’t stop thinking about the baby.” That was Spencer. “She’s amazing, but me…”

“Kid, stop it, you’re going to be an amazing father,” Morgan admonished, “If you love that kid half as much as you love her, they’re going to be okay.”

“Do you think you’re safe to drive home? I can get you another snack if you want, and more water.”

Morgan laughed, “I’m okay, really, Reid. Let her sleep and get some sleep yourself, I’ll text you when I get home. And make sure to tell her thanks again.”

“I will.” Spencer said.

I heard Morgan walk away, the _click_ of the lights being turned off, and felt Spencer get into bed next to me.

“I love you,” he kissed my shoulder, my neck, my cheek, arms wrapping around me. “Sleep well.”


	47. The Next Generation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner party, sex, and anxiety.  
> The holy trinity.
> 
> WARNING: MENTIONS OF SCARS, DRUGS, S3LF H@RM, DEATH

“Hey, Spencer?” I called from the bedroom.

He rushed in, “What’s wrong? What do you need?”

“I just need you to zip me up, it’s not an emergency,” I laughed, turning around so he could access the zipper.

“Oh, right, yeah,” he chuckled and quickly zipped me up, resting his hands on my hips, “You look beautiful.”

I turned and kissed him, “Thank you, darling. We really should get going.”

“Are you sure we can’t get out of it?” He whined, kissing me again.

“Spencer, it’s a dinner at Hotch’s house, it’s not that big of a deal.” I sighed, turning around, “Besides, Henry’s going to be there, he’d love to see you.”

He smiled, “Okay, you can’t play that card, it’s not fair.”

“It’s totally fair! You get to hang out with Henry and Jack, you don’t have to be an adult.” I kissed him, “My adorable baby.”

He blushed, “Fine, let’s go.”

I took his hand and grabbed my purse, kissing him one more time before we walked out the door. I drove with one hand on his thigh, it was a short drive to Aaron’s house. I parked and took Spencer’s hand as we walked to the door. I knocked. We heard hushed voices, footsteps, and the door opened, revealing Jack’s beaming face.

“Hey, Jack!” I smiled and knelt down to high-five him, “How are you, buddy?”

“I’m good!” He high fived me, then waved excitedly to Spencer, “Hi!”

“’Sup, Jack?” Spencer grinned.

“Hey, you two,” Aaron walked to the door, “How are you?”

“Good, thanks for having us over,” I stood and gave him a hug.

“Of course!” He gave Spencer a hug, too, then welcomed us in, “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Just water for us,” I said, “Thanks.”

Hotch nodded, pouring us glasses of water, “Everyone else should be arriving soon, make yourself comfortable.”

“Reid, can I show you what I’m making?” Jack was practically jumping with excitement.

Spencer glanced up at me, and I just smiled and nodded.

“Sure, buddy, lead the way!” He said, walking off with Jack.

I smiled at Hotch, who nodded with a knowing smile.

“How are you, Aaron?” I asked.

He sighed, leaning against the counter, “About as well as can be expected. The case load is shitty.”

“You know you can always send any cases to me, I’m happy to do a little extra work if it means you can relax.” I reminded him, “Don’t stress yourself out unnecessarily.”

“I’ll try,” Hotch smiled gratefully.

The doorbell rang again and Hotch stood, opening the door to reveal JJ, Will, and Henry. I smiled and waved as they walked in.

“Hey, how are you?” JJ asked, giving me a hug.

“Good, you?” I asked.

“Pretty good,” she smiled. “Henry, why don’t you go find Jack?”

Henry nodded and ran further into the house to seek out Jack and Spencer.

“Hi, Will!” I waved, “How are you?”

“I’m alright, good to let Henry be someone else’s problem for a night,” he said, words drawling. “By the way, I heard you’re expecting, congrats.”

I unconsciously ran one hand over my torso. I wasn’t even showing yet. “Yeah, it’s kind of scary, but it’s happening.”

“Enjoy the next few months of sleep, it’s the best you’ll get for a while,” JJ laughed.

“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to that.” I sighed, taking another sip of my water.

Over the next few minutes, the rest of the team arrived. I smiled and winked at Morgan, knowing he’d recognize my heels as the same I wore last night, and my chain necklace was similar to the collar he’d worn, just all metal.

“Hi, Derek,” I smiled, “How are you?”

“A little tired, but okay,” he kept his voice even, “Where’s pretty boy?”

“With the kids,” I angled my head down the hall.

Emily, who’d arrived a few minutes before, raised an eyebrow at me, noticing my teasing tone during the interaction, but I just smiled.

“(Y/N), will you go find Spencer and the boys? We should sit down for dinner before it gets too late.” Hotch asked.

I nodded, walking down the hall, heels clicking. I found the small playroom where Henry, Jack, Penelope, and Spencer were sitting, all playing together with LEGOs; Spencer was explaining physics using different builds as examples. I smiled and leaned against the door, just watching them for a second.

“So, even though there’s more weight on this side, these bricks are also closer to the center, so it’s even, since the side with fewer bricks has the weight further out.” He was explaining. “But if we were to move these out, the weight would be uneven, and this side will drop.”

“Hey, boys,” I said as he finished, “Dinner time, go wash your hands.”

Garcia stood, leading Jack and Henry to the bathroom. I smiled at Spencer, who was deconstructing the LEGOs.

“Having fun?” I asked as he sorted them.

“Mhm! I was explaining leverage and using the bricks to explain, they have a consistent density, so it’s easier than using other toys.” He explained.

“You’re adorable,” I walked forward and helped him to his feet, “C’mon, it’s dinner time.”

“Can I have a kiss first?” He asked, pouting jokingly.

I pulled him close to me, kissing him, “Always, baby.”

“Ew!” Jack yelled dramatically from the doorway.

I turned, putting my hands up jokingly, “Okay, sorry, I know, cooties. Let’s go have dinner.”

He nodded and led us to the dining room, where everyone else was already sitting.

“Sorry, everyone, we were sharing cooties,” I joked as we sat.

“We never would have guessed,” Rossi said dryly, “Not like you’re pregnant or anything.”

I shook my head and sighed as we all began digging into the feast Aaron had prepared. Spencer made sure I avoided anything with alcohol, double-checking with Hotch about everything. He’d avoided alcohol in every dish, though, so I reminded Spencer to calm down. I helped Hotch clear the table and put everything in containers, then helped bring out dessert: ice cream, tiramisu, and cake (iced wonderfully by Jack). The two kids ate quickly, then ran back to the playroom. Spencer followed soon after, at their insistence.

“Coffee, anyone?” Aaron asked, walking towards the kitchen.

I raised my hand, “If you have decaf. Spencer would smack me if I had regular.”

“Pretty boy has pretty strict rules, huh?” Morgan teased, “What’s he going to you, punish you?”

“Watch your mouth, Derek,” I growled.

“Or what?” He teased.

I started playing with my necklace, “You really want to go there?”

“Are you threatening my sweetie?” Garcia teased.

“ _Anyways_ , let’s talk about something else,” JJ cut in. “I’ll have decaf too, Hotch.”

By the time we finished talking, JJ, Will, and Henry had already gone home, Rossi decided to have an early night, Jack was tucked into bed, and we were all sipping coffee and finishing the remains of dessert. Spencer was leaning on my shoulder, playing with the hem of my dress.

“Okay, I’m going to bite, what did you and Morgan do?” Garcia asked, looking between him and I. “There’s no way that was an idle threat.”

I looked at Morgan. I didn’t care if they knew, but I didn’t know how he felt.

“I hung out with the two of them last night, and that’s all we’re saying about that.” He said firmly.

“Oh, my word!” Garcia said, dramatically fanning her face. “Well, I never.”

“Is there anyone on the team you haven’t done it with yet, you two?” Aaron asked, sipping his drink, one eyebrow raised.

“Only Morgan, Emily, and you, Hotch,” Spencer piped up, “Not Garcia, JJ, or Rossi.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Penelope said loudly, “How did I not know about this?”

I shrugged, “You didn’t ask.”

“Details, please,” she leaned forward.

I sighed, looking around the table. Hotch looked resigned, Morgan was amused, and Emily seemed like she’d be eating popcorn if she could.

“Not my place,” I said firmly. “If they want to tell you, I’m okay with that, but I’m not disclosing personal information without permission.”

Emily looked at Morgan, then raised her hand as if asking permission to speak, “Me, Derek, and the two of them. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Also, the three of us separately,” Morgan added.

Hotch chose not to say anything.

“Well, damn,” Garcia laughed, “Okay, then.”

I sipped my coffee, hiding a smile.

***

“Hey, I’m sorry about the comments earlier,” I said as Spencer and I got ready to leave, the last two to do so.

Aaron shrugged, “I did ask if there’s anyone you hadn’t done it with. My mistake.”

“I’ll be more careful about that in the future,” I assured him.

He nodded, “I appreciate that, but really, it’s okay. It’s just the team.”

I kissed him on the cheek, “Have a nice night, Aaron.”

I took Spencer’s hand and we left. I stumbled a little, leaning on his shoulder.

“I love you,” I said, kissing him.

Spencer blushed, “I love you too.”

We drove home in silence, walking in quietly. I closed and locked the door, then pulled Spencer into a deep kiss, hand trailing over his hips. I pulled his hair a little, making him gasp, allowing me to slip my tongue into his mouth. When I pulled away, his eyes were closed, his breathing heavy. I walked over to the island and sat on it, making me a little taller than him, and pulling him into another kiss. I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, managing to get it off and dropping it onto the floor.

“Can I take your dress off?” Spencer asked, kissing my neck.

I nodded, shifting so the skirt wasn’t trapped under my legs, allowing him to unzip the dress and pull it off over my head. I reached back to undo my bra and threw it to the side, then kissed Spencer again as I worked to get his pants off.

“Mistress,” he moaned against my lips, “I want to be inside you.”

I stroked him as we kissed, using my other hand to awkwardly slip my underwear off. I shifted so I was on the edge of the counter, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Fuck me,” I ordered, kissing and marking his neck.

Spencer pushed into me as I sucked a dark hickey on the sensitive spot behind his ear, fingers catching in his hair as I moaned. I wasn’t thinking about anything but how he felt inside me and how badly I wanted him as I covered his neck in marks. Spencer had one hand braced on the counter, the other one sitting on the small of my back.

“Mistress,” he moaned, head buried in my shoulder, “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“Touch me, Spence,” I said in between bites and kisses.

The hand that was on my back moved between my legs, circling my clit, making me moan. Spencer knew exactly how to touch me, and I scrambled for a handhold in his hair as I bucked forward, moaning.

“Don’t stop, fuck, just like that,” I threw my head back, grinding forward against his fingers faster.

I pulled his hair hard as I came around him, clenching and moaning. I pushed my mouth against his shoulder, trying to quiet my sounds.

“Mistress, fuck, you feel so good,” Spencer whined, “Please.”

I took a second to process what he was saying, “Please what?”

“Please let me cum,” his fingers didn’t stop moving against my clit, “Please, Mistress.”

I kissed along the marks I’d made, biting gently, smiling at how dark they were, “Wait for me, baby.”

Spencer’s fingers moved faster.

“F- fuck, Spence,” I stuttered, “Right- right there.”

His movements were becoming jerky and desperate, and I could tell he couldn’t hold back much longer.

“Cum with me, Spencer,” I managed.

The hand that was on the counter moved to my hips as he thrust several times, both of us moaning loudly as we reached our orgasms together. Spencer’s face was buried in my shoulder, while my fingers were tangled in his hair, my head thrown back as I fought to catch my breath.

“Shit,” Spencer panted, hands dropping to the counter, “Fuck, that was amazing.”

I pulled him up into another kiss, humming, “You’re telling me.”

Spencer walked to a drawer and grabbed a towel, wiping himself off and helping me clean up. He kissed up my thighs and stomach, trailed his lips up my chest and neck, and kissed me again. I kept my arms on his shoulders, smiling and enjoying the feeling of his lips.

“I love you,” I smiled as he helped me off the counter. “Thank you.”

“I love you too,” he stumbled a little, “Why are you thanking me?”

“For making me feel good, silly,” I helped him stand up straight as we walked to the bedroom.

“Of course, my love,” he smiled.

We got to the bedroom and he collapsed onto the bed, while I got nightclothes for both of us. I helped him into a sweatshirt, pulled the covers down, and we settled down. I put my ear against his chest, enjoying the sound of his heartbeat.

_Spencer’s track marks after he came out of the bathroom._

_The patches of scars covering his arms and legs._

_Spencer after he’d disappeared, the terror I’d felt when I didn’t know where he was._

_Our child, their eyes dull, dead from my mistake._

_Too many scars._

I woke up covered in sweat in the middle of the night, panting and close to tears. I tried to be quiet so Spencer didn’t wake up, but I couldn’t get the images from my dreams out of my head. I threw off the covers and paced around the dark room.

“Calm down. Breathe. It’s okay.” I didn’t even believe myself. “They aren’t even born yet; you can’t know what’s going to happen.”

 _Depression is partially genetic._ I reminded myself. _Is it even a good idea to have this kid?_

“Shut up,” I said. “Shut up, stop.”

_You’re going to fail as a parent and fuck everything up and it’s all your fault._

“Stop it!” I yelled. “Shut the fuck up!”

“(Y/N)?” Spencer jolted up, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, go back to bed,” I said, sinking to the floor, shaking. “It’s fine.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft as he got out of bed and approached me, “Can I give you a hug?”

“Yeah,” my voice was a hoarse whisper.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I relaxed against him.

“Talk to me, what happened?” He asked, pulling me close. “What’s going on?”

“I had… bad dreams, I guess,” I didn’t know how to describe it. “You, our kid, the scars.”

He was silent for a second, “You’re worried that they’re going to inherit our shit and we won’t be good parents?”

I was shaking with fear, “I can’t do that to someone else. Not to another child.” I couldn’t stop seeing their eyes.

“You can’t start doubting yourself already, they aren’t even born yet,” he kissed my shoulder, “You have to focus on the future, how we’re going to help them.”

“I-“ My voice caught in my throat, “I saw them, their eyes, they were…” I broke down sobbing.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, it wasn’t real.” Spencer rocked me, “It’s okay.”

I broke down shaking and crying, curling up in Spencer’s arms. He kept rocking me and comforting me, waiting until I stopped to pick me up and help me back into bed, letting me lay on his chest.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning, okay?” He whispered.

I nodded, “Thank you.”

***

“I think we should go to therapy together,” Spencer said as we ran around, getting ready for work, “Just to make sure we’re ready for this kid.”

“That sounds like a really great idea,” I said as I buttoned my shirt, “Do you have someone in mind?”

He shook his head, “No, but I’ll start looking if you’re okay with it.”

“Please do, that would be really good for both of us,” I smiled and kissed his cheek, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” He blushed and kissed me.

“Okay, let’s go, you pour the coffee and I’ll grab our bags.”


	48. Three Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby shower prep and domestic fluff

“You told me three months, it has been three months, this baby shower is happening,” Garcia demanded as we walked down the hall to the elevators, “You can’t stop me.”

“Is that a challenge?” I teased, eyes sparkling, “But yes, I did say that, so fine.”

“My house or yours?” She asked.

“Up to you. I can get out of the house for a while if you want to have it at mine,” I shrugged as we walked into the elevator and I hit the button for the ground floor, “Just tell me and I’ll let it happen, but this is all on you. I’m not throwing this party.”

Penelope smiled, “Okay, I’m perfectly okay with that.”

We walked out of the elevator and to the parking lot, where Spencer was waiting, leaning against my car.

“Oh, by the way, do you know the sex?” She asked.

I shook my head, “I asked the tech not to tell me anything, I want it to be a surprise.”

She glanced at Spencer, then back at me, “Wow, that’s really cool. Okay, bye, I’ll text you!” Garcia waved and walked to her car.

Spencer raised an eyebrow as I got in the car, “What was that?”

“I told Garcia she wasn’t allowed to throw me a baby shower until the first trimester was over, because of the probability of miscarriages and everything, but I’m perfectly healthy and we’re a week into trimester two so…” I shrugged, “Baby shower time.”

“Baby showers don’t even make sense,” he muttered.

“I know, but she just wants the excuse to get presents and throw a party.”

“It makes more sense to have them in the third trimester, anyways, closer to the due date,” he continued, “Having it this early just means we’ll have clothes and furniture we can’t use for six more months.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, darling,” I reminded him as I pulled out of the parking lot, “By the way, how do you feel about finding out the biological sex?”

“That’s up to you, you’re the mother,” he thought for a second, “And surveys show about 0.6% of the adult population in the United States identifies as transgender, meaning there’s a three in five hundred chance our child won’t identify with their sex assigned at birth. Adding to that, one in sixty people are intersex, so whatever we’re told may not be accurate.”

“Is that a yes or a no, Spence, I just need an answer,” I rolled my eyes, “I know all the statistics, but they still ask.”

“I don’t see a reason to, but it’s up to you.” Spencer clarified.

“Okay, cool, then we’re not going to find out.” I told him, “Also, we do need to start talking about names.”

“In Jewish tradition, the name of a child isn’t announced until 8 days after the birth, which is also when the _briss,_ or circumcision takes place. Interestingly, at 8 days is about when blood starts to have the ability to coagulate and clot, so it’s safer to do it at 8 days or later. Some also speculate that’s when they determined the infant was likely to survive for at least a while.”

“Do you want to wait eight days?” I asked.

He shrugged, “You know I don’t really care about religion, but it is tradition.”

Wait… “Spence, were you raised Jewish?” I asked. How did I not know this?

“Technically, my mother is Jewish, which means I am, but… we never really did anything.” He shifted, “I guess I just like tradition.”

“Okay, so we’ll wait 8 days before we announce it, but we still should have some ideas on what to name the baby, even if we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.” I confirmed, not knowing what else to say.

He nodded. I sat in silence, shocked by the fact that we’d somehow never discussed how we were raised. I guess it made sense, Spencer knew about Jewish tradition, and spoke some Hebrew, but I just assumed it was his nerdiness at work.

“I guess I just never thought it was important to talk about,” he said, breaking the silence. “I don’t ever go to synagogue or anything, I guess there’s just a part of me that likes the history of it.”

“Spence, you don’t have to excuse yourself to me. How you observe your religion, or don’t, doesn’t matter to me, as long as it doesn’t hurt me.” I said calmly, “Don’t feel bad for not telling me, it’s okay.”

He stayed silent as I pulled into the driveway, parked, grabbed our bags, and walked inside, following behind me. I began sorting laundry, while he started a late-afternoon pot of coffee.

“So, I’ve decided we need to go shopping for baby clothes together,” I said as I put a load into the washer, “They’re so small and cute! And baby shoes barely fit my thumb and they’re adorable and I want your opinion.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” He teased, relaxing at the change of topic. “My, my, how forward of you, Mrs. Reid.”

“Why, yes, Doctor, I believe I am,” I smiled, “Would you be so kind as to join me on an outing shopping for our child?”

He laughed, offering his hand dramatically. I took it and he pulled me into a kiss.

“Speaking of being forward,” I teased, “Is that a yes?”

“My darling,” he whispered, “If you asked for the stars, I would give them to you.”

“Um, actually,” I said, dramatically imitating his tone, “Stars have an average size of almost 1,000,000 miles in diameter and temperatures range from 2500 Kelvin to about 50,000 Kelvin, which is outside the temperatures in which a human can withstand in any circumstance.”

“It’s closer to 900,000 miles, but point taken,” he corrected. “Sorry, not the point.”

“I love you, my nerd,” I kissed him.

He smiled, leaning down, “I love you too.”

***

“Spencer, this is hilarious!” I said as I held up the onesie.

It was a barcode that said, ‘Made in Uterus’, and we both laughed.

“That’s an absolute yes,” he took it and put it in the cart, then grabbed a different design, “What about this one?”

It had a loading bar partially filled with the words ‘Diaper Loading, Please Wait’.

“That’s hilarious, let’s get it,” I confirmed, “This baby is going to be the best dressed little kid ever.”

“Okay, so are we agreed that I get to buy Doctor Who onesies?” He asked, “I haven’t seen any here, but they would be so cute.”

“On one condition,” I answered, “I get to dress them up as a Dalek for Halloween.”

“Agreed,” he said immediately.

“Okay, deal.” He laughed, “That’s a win-win.”

When we finished shopping, we had cute outfits for the first 6 months or so of the baby’s life, reusable diapers, jackets, pacifiers, utensils, blankets, toys, and several adorable pairs of shoes. Spencer almost had as much baby fever as I did: he loved picking out the toys and was great at finding cute outfits. We got home and started putting the clothes and shoes away, placing the toys around the room and rearranging everything several times before deciding it looked right.

**_Message from: Garcia  
_ ** **I’m kicking you out of house for two hours tomorrow. Can you be out from 10-12?**

**_Message to: Garcia  
_ ** **Me & Spence?**

**_Message from: Garcia  
_ ** **Just you**

“Spence, why is Garcia kicking me out of the house before the baby shower, but not you?” I asked, turning around my phone to show the messages.

He smiled knowingly, “No comment.”

**_Message to: Garcia  
_ ** **I’m v suspicious, but okay**

**_Message from: Garcia  
_ ** **You’ll see :)**

“Am I _allowed_ to take Jenna with me, or is she in on this?” I asked, only half-joking.

He smiled, “Jenna knows, but she’s going out with you.”

“Okay, this is unfair,” I grumbled, “This is my baby and my shower!”

“And we’re making the party special for you, you just have to wait,” he kissed me.

I grumbled, but knew it wasn’t worth it to push the issue.

“Also, can I pick your outfit for tomorrow?” Spencer asked.

I looked up, seeing the little smirk on his face, “You’re just enjoying having all this power over me, huh?”

He nodded eagerly, “I’m still yours, though, ma’am.” He smiled.

I sighed, but agreed to let him choose my clothes, as long as I got to do the same for him.

“I still can’t believe we’re going to have a baby,” I sighed, flopping down onto the couch.

Spencer smiled but didn’t say anything. His phone buzzed, and he took it out immediately, typing quickly.

“Ooh, who are you texting?” I teased, “Do you have a crush?”

He looked up at me, “Oh, jeez, I’m not sure. She’s really cute, and super sexy, should I ask her out?”

“Tell me more about this mystery girl,” I teased.

He smiled and sat down, playing along, “She has the most beautiful eyes that I could just stare into for hours, and her smile always makes me feel better. Her lips are satin, and it feels like coming home every time I see her. She doesn’t think her body is perfect, but I don’t think any work of art even compares to her.”

I blushed, but he kept going.

“She always wants to support me, and I know she’d do anything for me, and I just wish she accepted that I feel the same and I would do whatever she asked of me in a heartbeat.” He smiled, “She makes me so happy, and I would choose her over anything in the entire world. No matter what.”

“I love you,” I whispered. He’d never been that honest, raw, and emotional, even at our wedding. I’d never seen him gush like that about me, or anyone.

“I love you too,” he smiled, sitting down on the couch and kissing me, “And I meant every word of that.”

I nodded. I could hear it in the tone of his voice and see it in his eyes. “I know.”

I tucked my legs onto the couch and settled my head onto his lap. I was exhausted, even though we’d just woken up, and I ended up falling asleep in the morning light and the feeling of Spencer’s hand running through my hair. I woke up to the soft murmur of Spencer’s voice, realizing my head was on a pillow instead of his lap. It took me a second to adjust and focus on what he was saying.

“We’re planning on telling her tomorrow,” he said, clearly talking to someone on the phone, “I asked the ultrasound tech not to say anything.”

I decided I wanted to let Spencer have his surprise, so I sat up, yawning.

“She’s waking up, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he hung up and walked over to me, “How was your nap?”

“Really nice, I feel a lot better. How long was I sleeping?”

He checked his watch, “Just over an hour, you completely knocked yourself out.” He helped me stand up, “I was about to make an early lunch if you want some.”

I smiled, “Please, I’m famished.”

I knew better than to comment on the fact that he was eating more regularly, and actually _thinking_ about eating, rather than constantly needing a reminder. He was doing it for me and our child, and I wasn’t going to risk anything getting in the way of that.

We spent the rest of the day cuddling, watching Doctor Who, and joking about the weirdest baby names we could think of.

“Okay, what about-“ I snorted with laughter, “What if we just call the baby The Face of Bo.” I suggested as I ate another handful of popcorn.

“Too long,” Spencer dismissed, “I vote for Davros.”

“No one will be able to pronounce that! What about Cassandra?” I stretched my cheeks out, imitating the sheet of skin.

“So she utters prophecies that no one will ever believe?” Spencer questioned, “No.”

“Now you’re confusing mythologies,” I complained. “What about ‘Harriet Jones, former prime minister’.”

“No politicians.” Spencer objected, “No thank you.”

“I still think we should consider Cassandra as a girl’s name,” I said, “Because you’re going to find something wrong with every name.”

He shrugged, “You’re not wrong.”

“Why do I even bother?” I sighed dramatically, taking another handful of popcorn.

He smiled and took a piece from my hand, “Because you love me.”

“Yeah, I do,” I kissed him.

***

“Jenna’s going to be here in 10 minutes,” I called, “Will you zip me up?”

“Damn, I was hoping you would say we have time for a quickie,” Spencer teased as he helped me into the dress.

I rolled my eyes, turning around to kiss him, “I’m not giving you anything until you tell me what the surprise is.”

“I’d rather wear a gag,” he smirked, “You’ll find out soon.”

I groaned, “You’re being mean!”

He nodded and kissed me again, “Yeah, but you don’t really mind, you like surprises.”

“No profiling team members, and that includes your wife,” I chided, “That’s mean.”

“So is bruising my ass.”

“Yeah, but you like it,” I winked as I pulled on my shoes, short boots that Spencer had bought for me.

“Hey, I thought you said no profiling!” He objected.

I smirked, turning to him and moaning dramatically, “Oh, fuck, Mistress, harder, I’ve been such a naughty boy, please spank my ass, oh, fuck!” I fell back onto the bed, laughing.

“I do not sound like that,” Spencer grumbled.

I raised an eyebrow and picked up my phone, “Are you sure? We could always double-check.”

“Shut up,” he pulled me up and into another kiss, “I didn’t ask for your facts.”

“Oh, so now you understand what every cop feels like when we’re on a case!” I applauded, “I’m so proud of you!”

“I think I just heard Jenna pull up, you need to go.” He smiled and picked me up, carrying me to the door, “I guess we’ll just have to continue this later.”

I hummed and kissed him, “At least hand me my purse.”

He grabbed my bag from the bar and handed it to me, “All set?”

“One more thing.” I grabbed his collar and pulled him into a kiss. “There.”

“Are you sure?” Spencer teased, “Not one more?”

I raised my eyebrows and pulled a tube of bright red lipstick from my bag, quickly applying it and kissing his cheek, making a big red kiss mark.

“You’re right, I did need to give you one more.” I smiled innocently, “Good luck getting that off!”

He rolled his eyes, but he was also smiling like a lovestruck idiot. I knew I was too.

“Get going, I’ll see you in two hours,” he gave me one more kiss. “Have fun.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” I smiled, waving as I walked out.


	49. New Additions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby shower and the babies.

It has been a while since Jenna and I had hung out, just the two of us. It felt like being dumb teenagers again, window shopping and buying all the things we couldn’t when we wanted to. I left Hot Topic with a punk necklace with spikes and matching earrings, then immediately went into Lush to get bath bombs and a coffee face mask. We went into Victoria’s Secret and laughed at how skimpy and uncomfortable everything was. By the time we were ready to go home, we were laden with shopping bags.

“Okay, so I have to blindfold you before we go in,” Jenna informed me as we pulled into the driveway. “Spencer’s orders.”

“Since when do you take orders from Spencer?” I teased.

“Since you got pregnant.” She offered me the ‘blindfold’- a padded sleep mask. “Ready?”

I took it, put it on, and nodded. “Lead the way, darling.”

I waited for her to open my door and take my hand. I knew the path to my door almost without looking, so I didn’t stumble as we approached the door.

“Ready?” Jenna asked.

“Ready.” I confirmed.

The door opened and I walked inside, hearing murmuring voices, but nothing distinct. The blindfold was taken off, I opened my eyes, taking a second to adjust to the light.

“Congratulations!” A chorus of voices yelled.

I looked around registering Hotch, JJ, Garcia, Emily, Morgan, Rossi, Spencer’s mum, and Spencer around me. It took a second to register all the decorations on the walls, the balloons and baby-themed decorations covering the walls, and another second to realize what the decorations said.

“Holy-“ I gasped, “You’re kidding.”

Spencer smiled and walked towards me, wrapping one arm around me, “Not kidding.”

On the wall, in large, stylized letters, were the words ‘ _You’re having twins!’_

“Spencer Reid, are you serious?” I turned to him and punched him in the arm, “You didn’t tell me about this?”

He was smiling more widely than I’d ever seen before, “And I managed to get the OB/GYN and ultrasound tech to agree not to say anything.”

“Is this why we couldn’t listen to the heartbeat?” I asked.

He nodded, “Two heartbeats, it would’ve been obvious.”

“You are unbelievable, Spencer,” I shook my head, “Absolutely unbelievable.”

“But you love me,” he kissed me.

“Congratulations,” JJ walked forward to hug me, “We’re so happy for you.”

“Hold up, who knew about this before today?” I asked accusingly. “I want a show of hands.”

Jenna, Spencer, and Garcia all raised their hands.

“We just knew there was going to be a baby shower,” Morgan shrugged. “At least until we showed up.”

“You’re lucky I’m so in love with you,” I smiled and kissed Spencer.

“Okay, let’s celebrate!” Garcia dragged me to a chair covered in blankets, “I’ve been planning this since your wedding.”

I laughed and sat town, taking a glass of (non-alcoholic, of course) sparkling cider. Everyone else took their places around the living room, with Spencer settling on my lap.

“Okay, presents,” Jenna said, picking up a package and handing it to me.

I sighed and took it, carefully undoing the wrapping. I handed it to Spencer, who immediately began folding it. It was several bottles, each with tops that could be changed out easily.

“Thanks, Jen,” I smiled and hugged her. “These are great.”

JJ was next. I pulled the box out of the bag to reveal a white noise machine with several noise settings and volume levels.

“Trust me, you’re going to need it,” she smiled, “When you finally have the time to get sleep.”

Hotch had bought what I considered the cutest present: Matching Doctor Who onesies for the babies, Spencer, and myself. Spencer’s was the Fourth Doctor (complete with a scarf, of course), mine was the Ninth, and there were ones of the Tenth and Eleventh for the babies.

Garcia got night lights, several outfits, hats, and shoes. Morgan decided to go with a gag gift and buy tiny handcuffs, Rossi gave us several expensive bottles of wine (‘For when you decide you’ve nursed for long enough’), Emily got a Pack ‘n’ Play and several books, and the team had bought a two little FBI jackets as a group present.

After we’d opened all the presents, Garcia brought out a platter of cupcakes with baby-themed decorations and we all sat around, talking and joking. Spencer and I nuzzled on the couch together. I was still in shock at the entire idea of twins, but I was too swept up in the party to even fully register it.

The party ended and everyone slowly left, leaving Spencer and I alone, wrapped around one another.

“Twins,” I whispered. “We’re having twins.”

Spencer was still grinning like an idiot, “Yeah, we are.”

“And you didn’t tell me for how long?”

He counted on his fingers for a second, “6 weeks, 4 days, and about 19 hours.”

“I hate you,” I grumbled, but I couldn’t hold back my smile, “You’re such an asshole.”

He shook his head, “No you don’t.”

I rolled my eyes, “No, I don’t.” I smiled and kissed him.

“We’re going to have twins!” I exclaimed.

He nodded, “We’re having twins.”

“I can’t believe it,” I sighed, leaning back, “This is really happening.”

***

“These kids better be so fucking grateful I carried them,” I grumbled as I pulled myself out of bed, “I don’t even know how many times I got up last night.”

“I counted seven,” Spencer reported. “I may have missed a few, though.”

He passed me a t-shirt and sweater, then helped me into my pants. I slipped into my flats and walked to the kitchen, where Spencer was brewing coffee – decaf for me, caffeinated for him.

“Do you want me to drive?” He asked as I ate breakfast.

I shook my head, “I’m okay, my water’s not going to break or anything.”

He opened his mouth to counter me.

“Don’t.” I stopped him. “Just don’t.”

He stopped.

***

“JJ, how do you do it?” I asked as I collapsed into a chair, “This sucks.”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, you just kind of deal with it.”

“After birth, endorphins are released in order to make the mother forget how painful it was so she keeps the baby,” Spencer piped up, “It also helps in parental bonding.”

“Cool, that doesn’t help when my entire body aches like a bitch.” I responded.

“It is an amazing feeling,” JJ smiled, “Seeing those kids for the first time… It’ll be worth it.”

“I hope you’re right.” I grumbled.

Garcia called from the briefing room, “It’s time, let’s look at the gross gory deaths of the week.”

“Duty calls,” JJ smiled, helping me up.

***

“Okay, just making sure,” I said, pacing around the living room, “You’ve scheduled your paternal leave?”

“And checked the dates three times,” Spencer nodded. “And you?”

“Same. We’ve got the birthing center go bags packed?” I asked.

“Three changes of clothes for you, me, and the babies, including diapers, instant coffee and sugar, extra underwear and pads.” He listed off. “And the car seats are already in the trunk.”

I confirmed the list with my own mental list, “And our normal go bags?”

“Extra pain killers, nightgown, towels, clothes for the babies, diapers.”

“Okay, I think that’s everything.” I groaned and sat down, one hand holding the small of my back, “Fuck, why did I decide to have children?”

Spencer moved to help me into a chair, rocking me slowly. “It’s okay.”

“You don’t get to say that, you’re not the one with two living human parasites inside you.”

***

We’d just returned home from a case. I wasn’t due for another three days, but apparently the kids didn’t care.

“Spencer,” I said, voice shaking a little as I held myself up with the kitchen counter, “I just felt a push.”

“Okay, I’ll call the midwife, let’s go.”

He grabbed our bags and towels, covering the passenger seat. I managed to strip off my clothes and pull on a thin nightgown, then walked out to the car, focusing on my breathing. Spencer jumped in the driver’s seat and spoke quietly, helping me with my breathing as he drove.

“Spencer, I swear to all that is holy, if these children are born on the highway, no one can know our names,” I grumbled.

“You’re still about eight minutes apart, it’s okay,” he said, “They’re coming fast, though.”

When he pulled into the parking lot of the birthing center (no hospitals, I’d insisted), there was already a midwife waiting to help me out of the car. She opened the door and helped me out, letting me pause every time another round of contractions hit until we got inside, and I was helped into a bath. Spencer sat behind me, rubbing my shoulders and whispering softly as I calmed my breathing.

“Spencer,” I mumbled as I leaned my head back.

He kissed my cheek, “Yes?”

“If you leave me after this, I will personally track you down and kill you.”

He laughed a little, “I’m not leaving. No way.”

I looked up at him, “Promise?”

“I promise.” He kissed me.

I refused to let anyone give me painkillers. I’d been shot, I’d looked serial killers in the eye and not blinked. I can give birth.

Spencer moved my hair out of my face and never stopped comforting me, even as I screamed and pushed.

“You’re almost there,” the doula assured me, “Keep going, one more push.”

“You can do this, baby, just one more.” Spencer repeated.

“And then the other one,” I argued, taking a deep breath, then pushing, hard.

I felt the first baby slip out into the water. Immediately, the doula and her assistant were helping them out of the water, cleaning them off, and making sure they were okay.

“Spence,” I mumbled, “Spence, go- tell me- hold them.”

He hesitated for a second, but nodded, walking over to the baby, holding out his hands. They handed over the small, pink newborn, still screaming and crying. I couldn’t hear what he said, but he was smiling, and I thought I could see tears.

“The other one’s coming,” I warned, bracing my legs.

“You’ve got this.” The doula assured me.

I nodded, panting and sweating.

“Reid,” my voice shook, “What- can I-“

“It’s a boy,” he understood my question and turned her around so I could see her. “It’s a baby boy.”

“Hi, beautiful,” I smiled, then groaned. “Hold him, here comes the other one.”

The second baby was easier, if you can ever call giving birth _easy_. They cried less, and Spencer passed the boy to me and was handed the other baby. I looked at him, still trying to calm my breathing as the little baby boy suckled on my chest.

“A girl, one boy and one girl,” he reported, helping the other baby onto my chest. “They’re both perfect.”

I cried. I couldn’t tell exactly what I was feeling, some combination of happiness and relief and exhaustion and a massive number of hormones.

“Babe, they need to weigh the babies and make sure they’re healthy, can you let go for a second?” Spencer asked, having returned to rubbing my shoulders.

I nodded, and he took them off my chest gently, handing them to the doula. While they were gone, I got out of the tub, toweling off.

“A boy and a girl,” I smiled, tears not stopping, “Holy crap.”

“They’re perfect, just like you,” Spencer smiled and kissed me.

“And you.”

The two women returned, holding the newborns. I held out my arms and they handed them to me.

They were staring at me as they drank, and I was crying again looking at them.

“Maeve,” I whispered, looking at the girl.

Spencer looked up at me, “What?”

“Her name’s Maeve,” I looked up at him, “If that’s okay with you.”

He teared up and nodded. “It’s perfect.”

“And-“ I paused for a second, but the name felt right, “Tobias.”

He looked shocked. “Really?”

“Is that okay?”

“Maeve and Tobias,” he whispered, “Welcome to the family.”

“So, we’re not waiting 8 days?” I teased.

“We are, but we can name them before that.” He answered.

***

When we walked into the main lobby of the center, the entire team was sitting there, waiting. I was exhausted, but seeing the team made me smile.

“Hey,” I said. I was holding Maeve against my chest, while Spencer held Tobias.

JJ was up first, pulling me into a hug gently. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now that they’re not crying,” I laughed, “Say hi to Aunt Jen.”

Maeve looked at JJ and cooed.

“Aunt?”

“All of you are family,” I said firmly. “You’re her aunt.”

Hotch had pulled Spencer into a hug and was now waving at Tobias, who was smiling and gurgling.

Garcia was next, and insisted on cradling Maeve in her arms, giving her a big kiss (and leaving a large lipstick mark). Emily didn’t want to hold her but smiled widely. Hotch also held her, smiling. Morgan decided to sit and hold her, then handed her back so he could hold Tobias.

What felt like forever later, we drove home. I refused to sit in the front, instead choosing to sit between the two babies, even though it was cramped. When we got home, they were sleeping, so we took out the car seats and carried them in.

“We have two kids,” I sighed, collapsing onto the couch.

Spencer smiled, sat beside me, and pulled me into his lap. “Hell yeah we do.”

“Welcome to the family, Maeve and Tobias Reid.” I whispered.

***

We had the team, their families, our families, and a couple friends over for the naming. We officially named JJ and Hotch the godparents and announced the names of the babies for the first time.

“Those are beautiful names,” Jenna praised, hugging me. “Any significance?”

I dropped my voice even though everyone else was standing around and talking. “Maeve was the girl that Spencer was in love with before she was… well, she was murdered.”

“Oh.”

“Tobias Hankel… he had dissociative identity disorder, his alters tortured Spencer, but Tobias tried to keep him safe and actually saved his life.” I sighed, “We went back and forth on names for a while, we didn’t even know if they were boys or girls before they were born, but it just felt right.”

Jenna smiled at me, “They’re good names. And you’ll be amazing parents.”

“I know JJ is Aunt Jen, but so are you,” I reminded her, “And I fully expect you to help with babysitting.”

“I will never complain about that.” She grinned. “I love babies.”

For the first time in so long, everything felt right. Spencer and I switched between holding the two kids, walking around and greeting everyone. Even though I hated waking up in the middle of the night to feed them or shush them when they cried, it was worth it.

_I have a family with Spencer Reid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long, but I hope it's worth it!


	50. The Second Party

Two weeks later, we finally managed to unload the kids on Garcia and take a break. Well, she was taking care of them in the living room and we were in the bedroom. That was the most we were willing to be away from them. I laid down with Spencer curled around me.

“Hey, Spence?” I asked.

He hummed in response.

“I know we considered the names but…” I took a deep breath, “Are you sure you’re okay with them?”

“I think they’re perfect.” He said firmly. “I fell in love with Maeve and now I have a chance to protect her and keep her safe, and Tobias saved my life. He didn’t deserve what happened to him, and I think it’s a beautiful way to honor his memory. I wasn’t sure at first, but honestly I can’t think of any names I’d prefer for either of them.”

I nodded, “Okay, I just wanted to make sure.”

“Why, are you having doubts about their names?” He sounded concerned.

I sighed, considering my answer for a second, turning to face him. “I never really thought about what names I’d want for kids before this, but… I know how you felt about Maeve. Every time you talk about her you have stars in your eyes.”

He blushed, “You know I’m in love with you.”

“I know, and I’m not jealous, but you still have feelings for her, and I don’t blame you.” I assured him, “I think it’s a beautiful name. Y’know, it means intoxicating in Irish Gaelic.”

“Well, more accurately, ‘she who intoxicates’, but… yeah,” Spencer trailed off.

“Having children and having you is intoxicating in the best of ways,” I smiled and kissed him. “And Tobias saved you. I wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for him. He tried to protect you in his own messed up way, but he did save your life.”

Spencer seemed to be searching for the right words to say. I continued.

“You didn’t choose those names. I looked at our children and decided there were no better names for them than two people that led my husband to be the person he is and allowed him to survive.” I kissed him. “I love you, Spencer Reid.”

“I love you too,” He whispered and pulled me close.

“One more thing,” I muttered into his shoulder.

“Anything.” He said. “What’s up?”

“Can we please have sex again soon?” I groaned. “I’m so fucking horny and it’s been way too long.”

He laughed, “Two more weeks until penetration, to avoid complications. You know that.”

“But can we use vibrators? Or can you eat me out?” I asked.

“Not while Garcia’s in the house with our kids,” he smiled, “You can’t keep quiet.”

“Maybe she’s into it.” I shrugged.

“Maybe later.”

I grumbled and turned back around, pulling Spencer’s arms around me. “Fine, can I just get some sleep for now?”

“Of course, my princess.” He kissed me cheek and pulled me close.

***

Whoever said having kids was a blessing hasn’t had kids.

I mean, they are a blessing, I’m not denying it, but more like… when a genie takes your wish and twists it to make it awful and you sort of regret it. That kind of blessing.

I was constantly exhausted, and so was Spencer; we took shifts, power naps, and I almost fell asleep in the shower several times. Every single shirt I owned has a spit-up mark at some point or another. There was something beautiful in that time, that made up for all the bad, though.

Spencer.

Besides being a great dad, he was always making sure I was okay, comforting me while I pumped, taking night shifts, and I was pretty sure he’d actually curled up in Tobias’s crib with him one night when he wouldn’t stop crying. But it was the moments that he didn’t know I saw that were the best. There were times when I’d go to the kitchen or bedroom and he’d be with the kids alone, and I could hear him talking to them.

“Your mom doesn’t know this,” I heard, making me pause, “But I think I secretly love you two more than she does.” The babies gurgled and he laughed, “You think so too?”

Another time, as I came back from warming two bottles, I peeked in the door to see him holding Maeve on his hip as he reached into Tobias’s crib, Tobias with a vice grip around his finger. His laugh, bright and clear, melted my heart.

One night, I woke up and Spencer wasn’t next to me, so I quietly padded down the hall to the nursery. We oiled the hinges almost every week, so they’d be silent, and I opened the door to find Spencer on the floor, softly snoring. On his chest were both the kids, fists bunched in his shirt, sleeping soundly. A blanket covered only his legs. I took another blanket and laid it over all three of them, smiled, and went back to bed. Neither of us ever said anything about it, but I made sure he had a break the next day.

About a month and a half after they were born, Hotch insisted on taking them for a night. “You two need some time to yourself,” he admonished, “And Jack wants to play with his cousins.”

We quizzed him on everything and made sure he had plenty of supplies before he left, but he eventually just reminded us this wasn’t his first time with infants and left.

“Fuck, I’m exhausted,” I groaned, falling back onto a chair.

Spencer started massaging my shoulders, “We can go take a long nap if you want.”

I looked up at him, “Can we fuck first?”

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me, “How could I ever say no to that cute face?”

I blushed. “Shut up.”

***

Apparently the team had conspired to keep us away from the babies for the weekend so we could have some alone time, because Jenna took them from Hotch and told us we had that day off too, and they’d be sleeping at JJ’s that night. She picked up some extra bottles from our house, but insisted we just take time to ourselves.

“Hey, isn’t it Saturday?” Spencer asked as we sat at the table. “I can barely keep track of the day of the week, it’s almost embarrassing.”

I laughed and looked at my watch, “Yeah, why?” I couldn’t think of anything we had to do.

“Amanda has parties on Saturdays, is today one of those days?”

I perked up, “Oh shit, you’re right. Let me check.”

**_Message to: Master of the House  
_ ** **Anything interesting happening tonight?**

“We should probably eat,” Spencer sighed, opening the fridge, “I’m pretty sure ten cups of coffee aren’t technically a meal.”

“Fuck you,” I groaned, “At least you can have that much, they both fuss if I have more than a cup.”

He smiled and pulled out random leftovers, piling them on the counter. “Take your pick, darling. Even if there is a party, it’s only noon, we have time.”

I grabbed a plate from the cabinet and loaded it with whatever was there, barely paying attention to what the food was.

**_Message from: Master of the House  
_ ** **Yep! Back-to-school theme, if you want to wear a little skirt ;)  
You coming?**

**_Message to: Master of the House  
_ ** **Finally have a night without the kids. We’ll be there.**

“Hey, Spence, when was the last time I put you in a schoolgirl outfit?” I asked as I set my phone down.

“Too long ago,” he said with a smile. “So, we’re going tonight?”

I nodded, “Just confirmed with Amanda.”

***

Spencer helped me into the corset, slowly doing the laces and adjusting it when it pinched my stomach. When he tied it off, I turned around, thanked him, and pulled on my lacy romper.

I turned to admire Spencer, who was in a simple white shirt and short pleated skirt. I’d changed out his everyday collar for a lacy choker with a small lock on the back, a pendant dangling from an O-ring in the front.

“Hey, sexy, you come here often?” I teased.

“Any time you want,” he pulled me into a kiss, “Ready?”

I sat on the bed, grabbing my shoes, then sighed and looked up at him. “Can you help me?”

He immediately dropped to his knees and slipped them on, kissing up my legs after he did, stopping just before he reached my shorts, breathing softly against my exposed pussy (covered only by the thin material of my romper).

We walked to the car, Spencer grabbing our play bag on the way and tossing it in the back. I drove to Amanda’s house, parking a little further away than normal (in case something happened again, I wouldn’t be trapped in). We walked to the door and Amanda opened it, looking us both up and down.

“Well, damn, I was mostly kidding,” she laughed, kissing my cheek, “But I will not complain.” She was wearing a classic outfit: tight button-down shirt, pencil skirt, short tie, heels, and a yardstick.

“You said there was a theme.” I shrugged. “So, we went with the theme.”

“You can drop your bag in the closet, and please keep your work phone on you this time,” Amanda smiled, “I don’t want another incident like last time.”

I laughed and nodded, “I will, thanks.”

I put our bag away, slipping the phone into the single small pocket on the romper. Spencer stayed behind me, eyes down, staying quiet. I walked to the circle of couches in the center of the room and sat, leaving Spencer to debate whether to kneel on the hard wood floor or risk sitting on the couch. He glanced at me for a second, but I just smiled. He dropped to his knees beside me, resting his head on my leg. I decided to mainly people-watch, admiring the high heels and short skirts or other skimpy outfits most of the attendees wore.

“Hey, Spence,” I said, making him look up at me, “Remember that fantasy you had about just being used?”

He blushed deeply, “Yes, Mistress.”

“Is that something you want to pursue tonight?”

He thought for a second, then nodded. “If it’s okay with you, Mistress. And with protection, of course.”

“Of course,” I smiled, “Let’s go choose a room.”

I stood and he moved to stand as well, but I shot him a look and he stayed on his knees, blushing a deep red as he crawled behind me. When we reached the stairs, he took a second to consider how to walk up them but managed to find a suitable method and followed me.

I peeked in the first few doors, passed two closed ones, and found the room I was looking for: the largest of all the rooms, with a rigging setup on the ceiling. I guided Spencer into it, then closed the door.

“Kneel and wait for me. I’ll knock five times before I return,” I told him, then left.

I walked downstairs, grabbed the bag, and started back up the stairs when I spotted Jenna.

“Hey! You didn’t tell me you were coming! I guess JJ already has the kids?” I said as I pulled her into a hug. “Hi, Elle!”

Elle waved, occupied in another conversation.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, I thought you two might actually want to relax.” She teased.

I shrugged, “I just wanted to get out. Spencer’s upstairs.”

Jenna raised an eyebrow, “Open door?”

I smiled, “Give us a couple minutes to set up.”

“I’ll be up later,” she winked at me.

I smiled and walked back up the stairs, knocking on the door five times, pausing, then entering. Spencer was waiting patiently on his knees, not even looking up when I entered. I looked around for a second, considering my options. I grabbed a stepstool and table, set them in the center of the room, then walked back over.

“Spencer, stand up,” I ordered.

He obeyed. I immediately began tying him with black rope, weaving the cord around his body. When I was sure the knots were secure and he would feel safe, I led him over to the table, which was small and padded. He laid down and I hog-tied his arms and legs together, then secured those ropes to the ceiling, keeping him in place.

“Let’s talk about rules for tonight,” I said as I walked around to the front of the table to face him.

I smiled at his position- his head was level with my crotch, and he strained to look up at me.

“I don’t want a gag, if that’s okay,” he requested.

I shook my head, “I wasn’t planning on it. If you use any of the safewords, everyone stops immediately. I’ll check in regularly as well.”

He nodded.

“You can cum whenever you want but remember your limits. I can put a ring on you if you’d like.” I offered.

He shook his head, “No thank you, ma’am.”

“I’m going to prep you before I open the door, okay?”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

I grabbed the lube and slowly began opening him up, smiling as he clenched around me and whined. When I decided he was ready, I opened the door and slipped a blindfold over his eyes before pulling on a strap and beginning to fuck him. I looked up as Jenna entered the room, eyes widening at the sight of Spencer tied up and helpless.

“Mind if I enjoy your little slut?” She asked, being careful to not even approach him without my permission.

I smiled and gestured toward my bag in the corner, “Feel free, he’s open territory tonight.”

She walked to the bag and pulled out a vibrating strap, discussing quietly for a second before she walked back over, gripping Spencer’s jaw to make him open his mouth and pushed the strap in, making him gag.

I spanked him hard, “Take it.”

He whined around Jenna’s strap, jaw going slack.

When another person entered, asking to fuck him, I pulled out and took a seat, making it was clear I was in charge, occasionally checking in with Spencer, who was consistently blissed out but okay. The crowd ebbed and flowed but was fairly constant throughout the night. Spencer was drooling, spit dripping from his lips as he moaned. He’d long since orgasmed multiple times, and barely reacted when someone pushed into him, just gasping and relaxing, letting himself be used. A few people chose to spank him as well, turning his ass bright red.

Finally, as the party wound down close to 2 AM, l ushered people out and closed the door, leaving the two of us alone in the room. I approached him and ran one finger over his lips. He dropped his jaw, but l just kissed his cheek.

“You’re done, baby,” l whispered, “You did so good for me.”

He smiled, “Thank you, Mistress.”

“Color?” l asked.

He thought for a second, “Can you untie me?”

“Of course.” I carefully undid the ropes. “Do you want the harness off?”

He managed a nod. I’d expected this, so I’d made sure the entire thing could be undone from the back.

“Ma’am,” he groaned, “I want you.”

“What do you want?” I asked.

He held out his arms weakly. I pulled him into a hug, running my hands through his hair.

“So good for me, I’m so proud of you,” l whispered, “You’re amazing.”

He hummed and curled into me. I stayed until he was almost asleep against me, breathing softly and humming happily with each breath.

“Ready to go?” I asked, sitting up.

He nodded. I laid him down gently and packed the bag, slinging it over my shoulder before helping Spencer to his feet and guiding him downstairs, thanking Amanda, and walking to the car. I laid him down in the backseat, face down, and we quietly drove home.

“Thank you,” he whispered as we walked inside, “I really wanted that.”

I kissed him, “Of course, darling.”

He fell asleep on my chest, deciding he didn’t want to risk rolling onto his back.

“Mistress,” he muttered, “I love you.”

I kissed his head, smiling, “I love you too.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t cum tonight.”

“Tonight was about you,” I assured him, “It’s okay.”

He seemed like he wanted to argue, but decided against it, instead just falling asleep against my chest. I smiled, hands running up and down his back as I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! I know it's been more than a week since I updated, but I promise I'll be better about it.  
> I'm currently taking 5 college classes while applying to university (my life is weird) and I hit a massive writer's block, but we're better now.


	51. Beg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer have some alone time

“Are you sure you’ll be okay at home with both kids?” Spencer asked as I packed his bag.

I smiled at him, “I’m sure, really, you need to go back to work. I’ll be fine.” I sighed as one of the babies started crying, “Your turn.”

He sighed and walked to the kids’ room as I finished backing the bag, slipping a few toys in beneath the outfits. I zipped it up and tossed it on the bed before walking to the nursery, where Spencer was bouncing Tobias on his hip, shushing him as he gave a pacifier to Maeve, who was, amazingly, not crying yet. I sighed and pulled up my shirt, taking Tobias from Spencer and letting him latch onto my breast.

“Sorry,” he sighed, “I tried a bottle, but…”

I shrugged, “Don’t worry about it.”

I waited until Tobias fell asleep, put him back in the crib, and picked up Maeve, feeding her too. Spencer rubbed my shoulders as I did, kissing down my shoulder and holding my hips as I relaxed against him.

“This is exhausting,” I sighed as I put Maeve down.

“Worth it though,” he smiled as I closed the door.

“Says you,” I groaned as I leaned against the wall, “I’m exhausted.”

“Are you sure I should go to work tomorrow?” He asked.

I nodded. “The team needs you, and I can handle. Plus, Jenna’s going to come by during the day to help.”

“As long as you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” I kissed his cheek, “Now go to work.”

He took his bag and left, leaving me alone with both kids and an utter lack of sleep. I closed the door and turned on the baby monitor as I got breakfast, did laundry, and tried to relax. When Maeve woke up screaming, I rushed to the nursery, but Tobias was already also awake and screaming.

“Hey, Maeve, it’s okay, mama’s here,” I sighed, picking her up and setting her on my hip, shushing her as I grabbed a pacifier and gave it to her, but she spit it out and kept crying. “Okay, fine,” I set her down on the changing table and rushed to change her as I tried to calm Tobias down at the same time.

***

“Okay, you get a break, Auntie’s here,” Jenna said as soon as she walked in the door, “Give me the babies.”

I eagerly handed over Maeve, who was curled in my arms. “Tobias is sleeping, thank everything.”

“Okay, cool, I get some personal time with my niece,” she smiled, cooing at Maeve, “Hey, baby! Yeah, I’m here, aww, there’s that little smile.”

I smiled and collapsed back onto the couch.

“Okay, I’m getting you some food, you look famished,” Jenna handed Maeve back to me and began pulling food from the fridge. “And I’ll warm up bottles for the little ones.”

“I might actually just fall asleep,” I muttered, eyes drifting closed, “Food and then sleep. That sounds nice. I’m just turning into a baby.”

“That’s perfectly okay with me.”

***

“Okay, don’t freak out-“ Hotch started.

“Wait. What’s going on? What? What happened?”

“I said don’t freak out.” He sighed.

“That’s the fastest way to make me freak out!” I snapped.

“Yeah, okay, that’s my fault.” He sighed. “So… the unsub kidnapped Spencer.”

I held back a scream. “What the fuck?”

“He was with Emily at a bar, they were trying to bait the unsub, and the unsub… she kidnapped him.”

“Hotch, you’re flying me out right now,” I started rushing around, throwing clothes into a bag, “I’ll call Jenna as a last-minute sitter, she’s off tonight. Book me a flight now.”

“We’ve already got teams out looking for him, it’s not worth it. Stay with Maeve and Tobias.” Hotch assured me. “I’m not calling a plane for you.”

“Then I am booking the next fucking economy plane out there, my husband is in danger. You are not stopping me from helping my husband.”

“As the head of the team, I am ordering you to stay at home and take care of your infant children. I am telling you what’s going on out of respect for you as an agent and a person, this is technically all confidential information anyways. Now stay put, agent.”

“If anything happens to him, it’s your neck.” I reminded him.

“I know, but your children need you more.”

I hung up.

***

They found him less than 12 hours later, with the dead body of the unsub. Apparently, she’s tried to come onto him, and he kicked her in the side. The gun on her hip went off, shot her leg, and she bled to death.

I wouldn’t have even touched down in time if I’d flown out.

I strapped the kids into their car seats and raced to the airstrip to meet the team there. Spencer was off the plane first, eyes brightening at the sight of both of our children in my arms.

“There are my three cuties!” His smile was infectious. “Did you miss me?”

I leaned forward to kiss him as he took Maeve from me. “We all did. I’m glad you’re safe.”

He held up his hand, wedding band flashing, “I’ll always come home to you.”

The rest of the team started cooing over the kids and I managed to pass Tobias to Morgan and pull Hotch off to the side.

“I’m sorry for exploding at you, that wasn’t fair.” I started before he could say anything, “You were looking out for Spencer and I and Maeve and Tobias.”

“You’re family.” He assured me, “I’d do anything for family.”

As everyone grabbed their bags and piled into cars (Spencer electing to squeeze between the babies instead of sitting up front), Rossi pulled me aside.

“I wanted to check in on you,” He looked worried, “Not being able to do anything is hard.”

I forced a smile, “It’s all okay now, that’s what matters.”

He shot me a look like he didn’t believe me, which was fair. I didn’t believe me either.

***

Spencer and I took the rest of the day to play with the kids. We dressed up in our Doctor Who onesies and wrestled the babies into theirs, just enjoying being together. When Maeve and Tobias finally fell asleep, Spencer and I cuddled, talking about the case.

“I don’t like you being in the field without you,” I said, fingers trailing across his chest, “I can’t protect you.”

“You can’t protect me either way.” He sighed, “I know it sucks, but you can’t.”

“It feels better when I’m with you, though.”

He nodded, rubbing my back. “I understand.”

I shifted up to kiss him, “I love you, Spencer Reid.”

He smiled, “I love you too.”

***

I pushed a knee into the small of Spencer’s back as I cuffed him. He whined but otherwise stayed silent.

“If you make another fucking sound, I will turn your ass purple.” I growled, leaning down next to his ear, “Understand?”

He nodded, pressing his lips together.

“Good.” I pushed one finger between his cheeks, circling one finger around his asshole. “This is mine.”

He nodded.

I grabbed the lube and started fingering him roughly, making him bite the sheets to prevent making any noise. Spencer’s breathing quickened and his nails dug into his back.

“Fucking whore,” I said as I pushed a second finger inside, barely waiting before starting to scissor him, “My fucking whore.”

He nodded, struggling not to make any noise. When I decided he was ready, I pulled my fingers out and wiped the remaining lube on my strap, pouring some extra on it before grinding against Spencer’s ass.

“Beg.”

He hesitated. He had a choice to make; either beg and risk a spanking, or not beg and risk a spanking. At one point, in a similar situation, he’d begun begging in sign language, but now he couldn’t.

“I said,” I reached forward and grabbed his hair, “Fucking _beg._ ”

He tensed.

“Beg or you won’t be allowed to cum.”

The worst ultimatum.

He broke. “Please, Mistress, fuck, please fuck your good little slut, I want to be fucked by you, please, I want you so bad.”

“What did I tell you about making any more noise?” I asked, voice sweet like poison. “I know you remember.”

“I- If I made another sound, my Mistress would turn,” he whined, “Mistress would turn my ass purple.”

“Exactly,” I smiled and bit his ear, “So what am I going to do now?”

“Turn my ass purple, Mistress.”

I released him, “Good. Now brace yourself at the foot of the bed with your hands up.”

Spencer scrambled to obey as I walked to the toy drawer. I grabbed handcuffs and a paddle, cuffing him and clipping the cuffs to the top bar.

“You will count every single one. If you don’t, we will start over.” I leaned forward, “Color?”

“Green.” Reid whispered, eyes fluttering closed. “Fuck, I want you.”

I smiled and struck his ass hard.

“One.” Reid groaned.

I spent the next several minutes spanking Spencer until his ass was bright red. When I was getting tired, I instead picked up a riding crop, continuing until my arm hurt and Spencer could barely choke out the next number. I put down the crop and walked up to him, trailing one hand over his ass as I kissed his cheek.

“Color?”

He whined and pulled away from my hand. “Fuck-Green… I want you.”

“You still want my strap in your ass?” I teased, “You still want to be fucked like a common slut?”

He nodded, barely able to hold himself up. I held him up as I undid the cuffs and bent him over the bed.

“Tell me if it’s too much, baby,” I told him as I spread his cheeks.

He was relaxed enough that I was able to push in easily, making him whine. Now that his hands were uncuffed, he dug his fingers into the sheets.

“Fuck, Mistress, you feel so good,” he gasped.

I fucked him quickly, making him rut against the bed.

“Mistress, please let me cum.”

“Go ahead, cum for me,” I ordered, burying myself deep in his ass, pulling him against me.

He immediately groaned and ground against the bed, twitching and cumming. I waited until he finished and relaxed against the bed, panting. I pulled out gently, leaning down to kiss Spencer.

“Fuck, thank you,” he muttered against my lips.

“Anything for you, darling,” I smiled.

He laid on my shoulder for a few seconds as I rubbed his back.

“I love you, Spencer,” I kissed his cheek, “My good submissive.”

He blushed and curled into me, “Thank you, ma’am.”

When he relaxed more, I got up and pulled the strap off, then got aloe vera and gently rubbed it into his bright red ass (now showing bruising).

I got into bed and helped him into a more comfortable position. He hummed and settled against my chest, sucking on his thumb shyly. I smiled and kissed his forehead, gently pulling a blanket over both of us. He hummed and pulled it closer, burying his face in my chest.

***

“You get to feed me breakfast in bed,” Spencer groaned, shifting off of me, “Because walking is going to be difficult.”

“Whoopsies,” I smiled and kissed his forehead, “You did kinda ask for it.”

“I did not!”

“I told you what was going to happen,” I shrugged, “You chose it.”

“Butthead.”

I got up, stretching slowly and walking to the coffee maker, which was set to auto-brew in the morning. I poured us both cups and walked back to the bedroom, where Spencer was wincing as he sat up in bed.

“So when are the babies coming home?” He asked, taking a deep sip.

I glanced at my watch, “In an hour and a half, I told Jenna we would be up late.”

He nodded, “So time for a second round?”

I laughed, “You’re insatiable, you know that?”

He smiled, “You love me, though.”

“Yeah, I do,” I leaned forward and kissed him, “I need to put more cream on your ass.”

“Please.”

We spent the rest of the morning cuddling, ending up on the couch with his head on my chest.

“Hey, Spence?” I asked, staring at the ceiling.

“Mhm?”

“If you ever want anything to help with your regression or want to do it with the kids or anything, you can tell me,” I looked down at him, “I want to make sure you’re comfortable. And if you ever want anyone, that’s okay too.”

He nodded, “I’ll tell you. I just still need to figure it out I guess.”

“Take your time, I just want you to remember that I want you to be comfortable.”

“This doesn’t have to do with that, but I did just think of this,” he looked up at me, “We’ve done stuff with most of the team at this point…”

I nodded.

“Garcia seemed interested in what we were doing with them. I think we should ask her if she wants to try something.”

“Spence, do you want to do something with Pen?”

He blushed, “Kinda.”

I smiled, “I’ll text her.”


	52. Miss Penelope Garcia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garcia, Spencer, and you. Garcia subs.

**_Message to: Garcia  
_ ** **Alt phone #?**

**_Message from: Garcia  
_ ** **XXX-XXX-XXXX**

I picked up my other phone.

**_Message to: Baby Girl  
_ ** **Spence was interested in play time with you. What do you think?**

**_Message from: Baby Girl  
_ ** **I’m interested, tell me more?**

“Hey, Spence, I’m going to send Garcia our lists if that’s okay.” I looked up.

He nodded from his position on the floor with the babies. “That’s okay.”

**_Message to: Baby Girl  
_ ** **One attachment.  
That’s the general list.**

**_Message to: Baby Girl  
_ ** **Two attachments.  
Those are mine & Spencer’s.  
Feel free to ask questions.**

I picked up Tobias and started bouncing him on my leg and singing. He smiled and gurgled. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out, still bouncing him.

**_Message from: Baby Girl  
_ ** **One attachment.  
Thought I’d write it out.  
When do you want to meet & talk?**

**_Message to: Baby Girl  
_ ** **I’ll work on finding a sitter.**

***

**_Message to: Baby Girl  
_ ** **No alcohol tonight – not a good idea for negotiation. Come over whenever you want.**

I peeked into the bedroom, “Remember, it’s very possible nothing will happen tonight. Negotiation is a process.”

Spencer nodded and finished buttoning up his shirt. I walked back to the living room, putting out folders, pens, and spare paper.

“What drink do you want?” Spencer asked as he walked in.

“I’ll have a cup of tea,” I looked up, “You look wonderful, darling.”

He blushed, “Thank you, ma’am.”

He set my tea to brew and poured a cup of water for himself.

“Come here, Spencer,” I said, looking up from where I was reviewing the lists.

He walked over, keeping eyes trained on the ground. I pulled his shirt down to reveal the thin metal choke collar I’d chosen for tonight.

“Mine,” I growled, pulling him into a kiss.

He whimpered. “Yours, ma’am.”

“Color?” I double-checked.

He smiled, “Green.”

The doorbell rang and I stood, “You can go sit down, little one.”

I opened the door, looking over Garcia. She was wearing a short purple dress with stocking and kitten heels, her hair pulled back.

“Hey, Pen, come on it,” I smiled and stepped back, “Spencer, say hi.”

He waved from where he was sitting at the table, “Hi, Garcia.”

“Hey, Reid!” She smiled and waved back.

I led her to the table where folders held copies of our lists, as well as a basic contract I’d drafted after the dinner party incident to set clearer boundaries.

“Go ahead and look through that, take your time,” I gestured to the folder, sitting next to Reid, “And ask as many questions as you want.”

Of course, she immediately had one, “What do you call Reid? During, uh, playtime or scenes or whatever you call it.”

“It depends. Sometimes he’s my pet, my baby, my good little boy,” I ran my hands through his hair, then tugged, “And sometimes he’s my slut, my whore, my cumdump, my toy, my fuck-doll, my plaything…”

Penelope blushed, actually _blushed_. “Oh. Well, that- that makes sense.”

“Spencer and I also have a clearly established relationship and know each other well. We would never expect you to get in the middle of all of it at once. We take this at whoever’s pace is slowest.” I assured.

She nodded, “Okay, right. But if I were to participate, what would I be called?”

“That depends on where you fit in the dynamic,” I shrugged, “You may be a dominant equal to myself over Spencer, or settle between us, in a sense. Or you may want to submit to us both. That’s up to you.”

“You don’t submit then? Ever?” She looked at me.

“My subspace takes time and trust,” I chose my words carefully, “It’s not something I can just… go into like Spence can. My submissiveness was weaponized against me to the point where it’s difficult for me to trust anyone with it. It’s not anything about you, it’s just one of my boundaries.”

Garcia nodded, “I’m not quite sure where I’d fit.”

“That’s okay. Sometimes it depends on the exact scene. We can discuss scenarios first, if you’d like, and you can process what it involves from there.”

She nodded, “Let’s do that.”

***

“Spencer, knees,” I growled in his ear.

Reid dropped to his knees immediately. Penelope raised an eyebrow at me.

“Good little pet,” I played with his hair, “Now present.”

Spencer clasped his hands behind his back, straightening up as he spread his legs until his ass was almost on the floor. He smiled up at me.

“What do you think?” I looked up at Garcia.

“I’m honestly not sure if I’d rather be in your position or his,” she laughed.

I nodded, “Take your time. Think about it. And don’t forget, we can have multiple sessions.”

She hesitated, “I want to think about it more.”

“Of course,” I smiled, “Take all the time you need.”

“Darlings, I wouldn’t dare keep you waiting.”

***

It took a while for us to decide on everything and schedule a date, but we finally got everything together and settled on all the details. At that point, Spencer was restless with excitement. I encouraged her to eat dinner before we arrived, but not too much – I’d seen some scenes gone wrong after a heavy dinner.

**_Message to: Baby Girl  
_ ** **Text me when you’re on the way. We’re ready when you are.**

“Spence, baby, do you need help?”

“I just need you to check my outfit, ma’am,” he answered.

I walked into the bathroom to see Spencer adjusting himself. I’d let Penelope choose his outfit; a thin white button-down shirt, grey slacks, and a bloodred tie. I matched him, sort of, with a blouse of the same color and a short black skirt.

“Remember, you will do what I say,” I reminded him, pulling his tie so he was forced closer to me, “You’re mine.”

His eyes fluttered with arousal, “Yours, ma’am.”

“I’m going to the room, bring her in when you’re ready. You may flirt with her, but no touching other than handholding. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

I released him, “Good.”

We’d rearranged the small home office I’d created for myself since the kids were born into a more classic office scene: a single wooden desk, with one padded chair behind it and two stiff-backed wooden chairs in front. The bookshelves remained, lined with everything from fantasy to old textbooks. On my desk was a short ruler and a small folder, everything else was hidden in the drawers. I walked in, closed the door, smoothed down my skirt, walked to the padded chair, and sat down, opening the folder. The papers inside were the contract, Garcia’s list, and a rough outline of the scene and specific limits; functional for the scene, but also on hand just in case.

I heard the doorbell ring and muted voices softly echoed down the hall, Penelope’s higher tones mixing with Spencer’s lower register. Footsteps, then…

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

“Enter,” I called, looking up without moving my head.

The two of them walked in. Garcia had worn what I’d suggested; plain white t-shirt, simple suit jacket, and an extremely short skirt. It felt strange seeing her in such formal, plain clothing. I was sure the lining of the jacket had puppies or something similar.

I looked back down at the papers, “Sit.”

She rushed to obey, while Spencer took a little more time, waiting until she sat to move his chair to the side and lounge back. I looked up and all it took was once glance to have him sitting straight up, hands perched on his knees.

“Miss Garcia,” I said.

It wasn’t a question, but she nodded. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Well, that’s good, I was worried Dr. Reid here couldn’t tell one pretty face from another. Do you know why you’re here?”

She hesitated, biting her lip. She’d positioned herself so that her arms squeezed her chest, exaggerating her breasts, and she knew I was looking.

“No…”

“You will address me properly,” I said before she could continue. “My title is Mistress.”

“Yes, Mistress, I’m sorry,” she rushed to correct herself, making me smile. “I don’t know why I’m here, Mistress.”

“Miss Garcia, are you aware that we have a very strict dress code?” I leaned forward. “You did, after all, sign an acknowledgement.”

“Yes, Mistress, I’m aware.” She was careful with her words now.

“Can you tell me what that dress code states about the proper type of shirt, and the length of skirts? Oh, and tell me the maximum height of heels, while we’re on the subject.” I smirked.

“I-“ she stumbled, “I can’t remember the exact wording, Mistress, I’m sorry.”

“Dr. Reid, would you like to fill in Miss Garcia here?” I prompted.

He looked up almost lazily. “Dresses, shorts, and skirts must me no more than three inches above the knee. Maximum heel height is one inch. Shirts must be collared button-down shirts, white or blue, buttoned fully, under a blazer.”

“Miss Garcia, do you know how high your heels are?” I asked.

She looked almost angry. This part of the scene, as well as her outfit, had been left up to me, and I’d told her to wear the tallest non-platform heels she had.

“They’re six inches, Mistress.”

“What type of shirt are you wearing?” I asked before she could make excuses.

“I’m wearing a t-shirt, Mistress.” She said, then, before I could ask, “And a grey blazer and skirt, I’m sorry, Mistress.”

“One infraction, that would be excusable. You’re still new, after all. But _four_ , not even counting how short your skirt is…” I tutted, “Stand up.”

She shot to her feet, fighting to keep her balance on the heels. I walked around my desk and took up the ruler, measuring from the base of her skirt to her knee.

“ _Nine inches_ ,” I hissed. “Your skirt barely covers your ass, Miss Garcia.”

“I’m sorry, Mistress,” her voice was barely a breath.

“Bend over my desk. Now.” I grabbed her hair and shoved her forward until she was bent over the desk fully, fingers wrapped around the edge of the desk.

“Spread your legs.” Spencer prompted, “Not like we’re seeing anything new.”

She spread her legs as far as possible, pushing her hips against the hard wood of the desk.

“You’re going to receive 15 spankings from me for disrespecting myself and my office,” I told her, hand trailing up the back of her thigh. “And fifteen from Dr. Reid for the same. Understand?”

“Yes, Mistress.” She gasped, twitching at my touch.

I flipped up her skirt and smiled. Just as I’d suspected: no panties.

“What a whore, exposing yourself like this,” I taunted, “Let’s make it twenty each.”

Penelope actually whined at that, but I could tell she liked it from the way she pushed back into my hand. I had to check, though.

“Color?”

“Green, Mistress, please, I’m sorry, it won’t happen – fuck!” She cut herself off as I spanked her with the ruler. “Holy – oh, shit.”

I must admit I liked making her curse. Our sweet, little-animal-obsessed technical analyst, bent over my desk, cursing. My blows came down hard and fast, with no time to recover between each. By the time I got to twenty, she was panting, nails digging into the soft wood, whimpering at every touch.

“Dr. Reid,” I stepped back, still holding the ruler.

He sent me a questioning look, standing to be positioned next to her, hand ghosting over her bright-red ass. I smiled and moved behind Spencer, slowly undoing his belt buckle and stroking him over the thin fabric.

“Well?” I prompted. “We don’t have all day.”

He nodded and began spanking Penelope, harder than I’d expected. She moaned and pushed back against his hand with every strike, and I rewarded him for each by pushing my hand into his underwear and stroking him each time.

By the time he finished, Garcia could barely stand up properly and Reid couldn’t form a coherent word, let alone a sentence. I smiled and kissed Spencer’s cheek, then moved away, trailing one finger across Penelope’s slit, feeling how wet she was.

“You’re fucking dripping, Miss Garcia,” I smiled, “You love this, don’t you?”

She whined, resisting the urge to grind down onto my hand. “Yes. Ah- Mistress.”

“Dr. Reid is going to fuck this pretty little pussy of yours, while you pleasure me. Understood?”

“Yes, Mistress,” she whined, sagging against the table.

I smiled, turning to Spencer and pulling his pants and underwear down before kissing him deeply as I stroked him.

“If you even _think_ about cumming before I tell you to, the kids will have their first birthday before I let you out of the cage I’ll put on you,” I growled into his ear.

He knew it wasn’t an idle threat. “Yes, ma’am.”

I smiled and released him, walking around the desk and adjusting my chair height so Penelope wouldn’t have to strain her neck. I undid the zipper on the back of my skirt and pulled it down, revealing my lack of underwear. Garcia gritted her teeth, holding back a comment about it, making me smile. I sat in the chair and perched my feet on the desk, pussy just a few inches away from her face.

“Beg.” I reached forward and grabbed her hair, making her look up at me. “Beg for my pussy and Dr. Reid’s cock.”

“Please, please let me pleasure you,” she gasped, “Please let me taste you, please let me feel Dr. Reid, fuck, let me make you feel good.”

“Dirty whore.” Was my only response before I moved forward.

She eagerly started lapping at my clit, moaning at the taste. I pulled her hair harder and she began sucking on my clit, tongue flicking over it, making me moan.

I looked up at Spencer, “Go ahead, fuck the little slut.”

He rushed to obey, grinding against her ass a few times before slowly pushing in, making her moan against my pussy.

“Fuck, just like that,” I threw my head back, “So good.”

Reid quickly found his rhythm, hands digging into Penelope’s hips and he thrust quickly, making her gasp and moan, her hands resting on my thighs. I reached my first orgasm quickly, my hand tightening in her hair the only warning before I moaned and ground forward against her, a stream of curses and praise flowing out of my mouth.

“I can feel her clenching around me, ma’am,” Spencer groaned, “Fuck, she feels so good.”

“Do you want to cum around Dr. Reid, whore?” I asked.

Garcia looked up at me without ceasing her movements, begging without saying anything.

“Go on, cum, Garcia,” I ordered.

She immediately moaned and her eyes fluttered shut, making Spencer moan as she came.

“Mistress, please,” Spencer stuttered, “Feels so good…”

“Use your words,” I ordered.

“Please let me cum,” he moaned, “Please, I want it so bad.”

“Not yet,” I moaned, fingers tightening in Garcia’s hair, “Fuck, don’t stop.”

I was basically humping her mouth at this point, chasing another orgasm. Garcia was tongue-fucking me as I moved while Spencer struggled to keep his rhythm.

“Play with her clit, Spence,” I struggled to slow by breathing.

Spencer quickly moved to finger Garcia, making her whine against me.

“Fuck- so close-“ I stuttered, “Cum, both of you- fuck, cum.”

Garcia immediately moaned against me as I sagged back, moaning loudly as I came. I could hear Spencer groaning and looked up to see him buried in her, shaking with pleasure.

I released Garcia’s hair and sat back in my chair, running my thumb over her lips. She hummed and looked up at me.

“Fuck, thank you,” She smiled. “That was- fuck, that was amazing.”

I smiled and looked up at Spencer, who had collapsed back into a chair, chest heaving. I helped Garcia into a more comfortable position, pulling open a drawer and grabbing a towel to help her clean up before walking over to Spencer. He looked up at smiled as I helped clean him up, kissing him gently.

“Take care of Garcia, I’m okay.”

I walked back to Garcia, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against the desk. I knelt down and rubbed her back.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked, pulling her into a hug.

She nodded, “Just a little overwhelmed.”

I pulled her closer, “You did amazing, we loved that so much.”

“That was,” she smiled, leaning against me, “So much better than I expected.”

“We aim to please.” Spencer said, sliding down into the floor to join us.

“Can,” Penelope hesitated, “Can I sleep over tonight?”

I glanced at Spencer, but I already knew what he thought.

“Of course, whatever you need.” I smiled.

Garcia smiled and leaned against me, “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's worth it! I'll be writing another Garcia chapter because I couldn't decide whether I liked dom or sub Garcia more so that's coming soon.
> 
> Quick note: if you're interested in being a beta editor for this fic, please let me know - I'm rereading it and jeez I suck at editing 😅


	53. My Lady, Penelope Garcia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You/Spencer/Penelope with soft dom Penelope.

I returned to work the next week, as much as I felt comfortable; I stayed at the office, working with Garcia, not flying out to cases. We’d agreed to not discuss the scene at work, but neither Garcia, Spencer, nor I could resist making a few comments about what we’d done. Of course, that resulted in Morgan pulling Garcia and I to the side after a briefing.

“So, do I get to know what happened?” He raised an eyebrow, looking between us.

“Nope,” I shrugged, “It’s private. If we do something together, that’s a different case, but what happens when we’re together stays between us.”

He sighed, “Well damn, I guess we’ll have to discuss another scene.”

I shrugged, “You have my number.”

***

“So, the team is on their way home,” Garcia said, “They have to stay for another couple hours to close up the case, but they’ll be home tonight.”

I smiled, “That’s good.”

“Do you want to do something again this weekend?”

I thought for a second. “I need to talk to Spencer, but probably not tonight. Our first night back is just for us. But I’ll ask about tomorrow.”

She nodded, “That’s okay, I was just curious.”

 **_Message to: Daddy <3  
_ ** **Garcia wants to come over this weekend. Thoughts?**

 **_Message from: Daddy <3  
_ ** **Depends on the scene. Details?**

“Hey, Garcia, what do you want to do?” I asked, looking up.

She smiled, “I was thinking we change things up from last time.”

I smiled, leaning back in my chair, “Please, tell me more.”

***

The plane arrived late at night, and I drove Garcia to the airport to greet them. We knew the case was a tough one, and Spencer basically collapsed into my arms as soon as he got off the plane.

I raised an eyebrow at Hotch, but he just mouthed ‘Not right now’.

“I missed you,” he muttered into my shoulder, “I want to go home.”

“Give me just a second to check in with Hotch, okay, sweetheart?” I kissed him, then walked over to Hotch, who was watching the team pile into the cars. “So?”

“The police department decided they would question everything he said,” Hotch rolled his eyes, “And called him some… well, let’s just say I ordered several suspensions. He said it was fine, but you know how he gets.”

“Fucking hell,” I groaned, “Did you slap anyone for me?”

“I had to hold back Morgan from becoming our next case. Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay?” Hotch asked.

I nodded. “I will. Want me to drive you home? Jessica said she’d pick up our kids, so I need to stop by anyways.”

“I’ll take my own car, but thank you.”

I took Spencer’s hand and we walked to the car, my head on his shoulder. We opened the car and got in, driving for a few minutes before I spoke up.

“Hotch told me what happened, do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s not like I’m not used to it,” he muttered, “I deal with shit like that all the time.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” I answered.

“They just… it’s like they don’t think I’m even human, they said it when I was right there. They weren’t even subtle.”

My hands tightened around the steering wheel.

“They just _laughed_ , and it felt like being back in school, and I didn’t know whether to cry or scream…” his breath shook, “It just brough back everything… I wanted to search through my bag and see if you left behind any bottles.”

“Reid.” My voice was stern. “No.”

“I didn’t, I just… I hated it.”

We continued driving in silence until we pulled up to Jessica’s house. I walked up and knocked on the door, where Jessica was waiting with the kids asleep in their carriers.

“Thank you so much,” I smiled, “I owe you.”

She shrugged, “Just get me a drink some time and take care of Aaron.”

I nodded.

We stayed silent on the drive home to make sure the kids didn’t wake up. We carried them to the bedroom and put them down to bed, before slipping into the bedroom. I turned and pushed Spencer at the door, kissing him deeply.

“Fuck, (Y/N), I missed you,” He gasped against my lips.

I smiled, “I missed you too.”

I walked away and pulled off my clothes, grabbing a t-shirt of Spencer’s off the floor and pulling it on. Spencer had stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed, arms stretched out, waiting for me. I climbed in next to him and laid my head on his chest as I trailed by fingers down his hips.

“I love you so much, Spencer Reid,” I whispered.

“I love you too.”

I palmed him over his boxers, humming as I felt his arousal. “This okay?”

“Yeah,” his voice was hoarse, “Fuck, I love your touch.”

I hummed and pulled his boxers down, starting to stroke him. When Spencer was hard, tip leaking precum, I shifted and took him into my mouth, making him groan.

“Fuck- I missed you, (Y/N), you feel so good.”

I hummed and moved faster, focusing on pleasuring him, moving quickly, losing myself in the feeling of him in my mouth.

“Fuck- wanna- you feel so good…” Spencer stuttered.

I moved away, “Cum when you want, baby.”

I moved back down, working faster. Before long, Spencer was groaning and thrusting into my mouth, cumming hard. When he was completely done, I popped off, swallowed, smiled, and moved up to kiss him.

“I’m in love with you,” he murmured against my lips.

I smiled, “Tell me that when I haven’t just sucked you off.”

“Okay,” I felt him smile, “Whenever you want.”

***

“You’re going to stay on your knees until I order you to do anything else,” I reminded him.

Spencer nodded.

“If you need to safeword, you can call from here or come get me.”

Another nod.

“I love you, my sweet pet,” I kissed him, “My obedient little slut.”

Spencer whined and returned my kiss with passion. I stood and turned away, leaving the hall door open and walking to the living room, waiting.

When the doorbell rang, I stood and sauntered to the door, opening it to see Garcia in a cute lacy corset, a jacket, a knee-length skirt, and small kitten heels. She entered and smiled as I looked her up and down. Her outfit was similar to my own; I’d worn a leather corset, a shawl that doubled as restraints, a short skirt, and heels.

“Spencer’s in the bedroom?” she asked.

I nodded, “He’ll wait, you can prepare mentally.”

“Sweetie, this outfit is all the preparation I need,” she smiled and twirled around.

“Doesn’t mean it’s all the preparation I want,” I smiled and pulled her close, kissing down her neck.

Penelope groaned and cursed in a low voice. “I thought I was domming tonight.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t tease you,” I smiled. “Besides, you’re not my domme.”

“That’s a fantasy for a different time,” Pen smiled and winked at me.

I can’t lie; I liked the thought of that, but not right now. Not tonight.

“Don’t forget what’s off-limits,” I reminded her, “He’s still sensitive.”

She nodded, “I’ll be careful. Let’s go.”

I took her hand and we walked to the bedroom. She stopped at the doorway as I walked into the room, taking in the sight. Spencer, legs bent and bound, lacy jockstrap barely concealing anything. I walked around him and ran my fingers through his hair, before pulling it back.

“What do you say to our guest, pet?”

Spencer was forced to look up at Penelope, “Hello, My Lady. Thank you for coming.”

She smiled and walked forward, one finger under his chin, “What a pretty little slut you have, ma’am, so obedient for you.”

I smiled, “He better be, or he’ll get punished.”

“I’ll be good, Mistress, I swear,” he whined.

“Did I tell you to speak?” I growled, tugging his hair, “Stay quiet.”

He whined and dropped his head again, focusing on the floor.

“Much better,” Garcia agreed. She trailed one hand up his arm, almost in a caring, soft way.

Spencer fought to lean into her touch, muscles tensing.

I looked at Penelope, “Would you rather his cock, his ass, or his mouth first?”

She thought for a second, then looked down at Spencer, “What do you want?”

“I-“ he hesitated, “I just want to pleasure you, My Lady.”

“That’s not what I asked,” she smiled, putting a finger underneath his chin and making him look up at her, “I said, what do you want?”

I watched, fascinated by the interaction. I let him beg or choose parts of scenes, sure, but the way he was reacting was different from what I was used to.

“I want to taste you, My Lady,” Spencer’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “Please.”

Penelope smiled and looked up at me. I nodded and gestured towards the bed, inviting her to get on. She dropped her jacket on the floor and got onto the bed, leaning back against the pile of pillows at the headboard, letting her legs fall open. Spencer looked up at me, waiting for permission.

“Go ahead,” I encouraged.

He stood and walked to the bed, sinking into a similar position to his one on the floor. He looked back at me. “Mistress, what about- she’s still dressed, Ma’am.”

“Hands behind your back,” I instructed, “I know you can take the panties off with your mouth.”

Spencer obeyed, then looked to Garcia, a question in his eyes. I walked over to the toy drawer and pulled out lube and a plug, watching them.

“I don’t know what you want if you don’t ask,” Penelope chided.

Spencer whined. “My Lady, may I take off your underwear?”

I groaned softly at the way he said it, voice weak, needy. Garcia nodded and Spencer eagerly leaned forward, burying his face between her legs for a second before pulling back and looking between us.

“The skirt too?”

I glanced at Penelope. “You only asked for permission to take off her underwear.”

“Stop teasing him,” Penelope countered, “He’s being so good for us. Just my underwear for now, pet.”

Spencer nodded and leaned forward between her legs again, taking a few seconds to lift the lace with his tongue and grip it between his teeth. I’d watched him do this before, and knew the delicate approach he took, careful not to bite anything but fabric. He slowly pulled back and removed the underwear, then looked up at Garcia, panties still between his teeth.

“Drop it on the ground,” she instructed, “Then get to work.”

Spencer nodded and leaned over to let the fabric out of his mouth, where it joined Pen’s skirt on the floor. He then returned to his position between her legs, looking up for permission before slowly beginning to pleasure her. I smiled and got on the bed behind him, pulled off my shawl, and hog-tied Spencer, causing his chest and hips to be pressed against the bed. He whined a little, but just shifted and continued.

I grabbed the lube and poured some on my hand before looking up at Penelope, “This is when it gets fun.”

I reached down, slowly circling Spencer’s asshole with a single finger. He immediately whined loudly against Penelope, who gasped and ground up against him. I opened Spencer quickly, curling my fingers against his prostate, making him moan.

“I’m not going to last long with that pretty mouth on me,” Garcia managed, “Fuck.”

“You don’t have to ask,” I reminded her, then stood up.

Spencer whined at the loss but quickly refocused on his task, leaving me to pull a strap-on out of the drawer and get it ready. I caught Penelope’s eye as I slowly undid the clasps on my corset, letting it drop to the floor.

She hummed, “You’re beautiful.”

I managed to hide my embarrassment. No matter how many partners I had, that always made me blush. Spencer tried to lift his head to watch, but Garcia had tangled one hand in his hair and kept him against her. I dropped my skirt, revealing I wasn’t wearing underwear, and put the strap harness on before getting back on the bed, grinding against Spencer’s ass. He moaned against Penelope, making her gasp.

“Just fuck him already, jeez,” she said, half-laughing, half-moaning.

I laughed a little at her reaction before beginning to slowly push into Spencer, hands on his hips so he wouldn’t buck back. Once I was all the way in, I waited a second before beginning to fuck Spencer roughly, pushing him against Garcia, who tangled one hand in his hair and pulled him towards her.

“Just like that,” she muttered, “Fuck, you’re so good.”

We quickly found a rhythm, Spencer staying mostly still as I pounded into him, Penelope occasionally bucking up when Spencer found an especially sensitive spot. Before long, she was moaning and cumming, grinding into his face. I didn’t stop, moving even faster, snapping my hips against Spencer’s ass. He was working faster now, quickly bringing Penelope close to her second orgasm.

“Tell me when you’re about to cum,” I told her.

She nodded. Less than a minute later, “Fuck, I’m gonna-“

She moaned and threw her head back. As she did, I reached down and squeezed the strap, making the lube stored inside squirt into Spencer’s ass. He gasped and moaned, but dutifully coaxed Garcia through her orgasm before pulling away and looking back at me.

“What was that?”

“Special new strap,” I smiled, “Did we tell you to stop?”

He stuck his tongue out at me and made a nasty face before turning back to Penelope.

I smacked his ass, hard. “Disrespect me again and I won’t let you cum.”

“I’m sorry, Mistress,” he whispered.

“Stand up.”

“Much better.” I leaned down to whisper in Penelope’s ear.

She smiled and nodded, getting up and walking over to the toy drawer.

“Eyes on me, slut,” I snapped. “Keep your eyes on mine.”

Spencer nodded as Garcia approached behind him, slowly putting on a strap and gripping Spencer’s ass, grinding against it. He gasped but kept his eyes on mine.

“Bend over the bed,” Penelope said, voice too soft for it to be an order.

Spencer obeyed, leaning towards me as he bent over, looking up at me.

“Hey, Spence, color?” Penelope asked.

“Green,” he moaned, pushing back against her, “Please.”

She moved back to push into him slowly, letting him adjust, but he barely needed it. As soon as she found her pace, I grabbed Reid’s hair and forced him to choke on my strap, making him gag and drool.

“Fuck, he makes such pretty noises,” Penelope groaned.

That only encouraged Spencer to moan louder, voice catching as I pushed him down onto me. His whines got louder and higher, and I knew he was close.

“I think the little slut wants to cum,” I hummed, “Do you think he deserves it?”

Garcia smiled, “You haven’t cum yet, why should he?”

Spencer whined louder in protest, but we ignored him. I pulled off my strap quickly and forced him between my legs, moaning at the feeling of his tongue.

“Fuck, just like that,” I moaned, “Such a good whore.”

I was already so aroused just from seeing Spencer and Penelope together that it barely took anything to bring me close to my orgasm.

“Fuck- Spence- I’m gonna-“ I moaned and ground up against his mouth, cumming hard, screwing my eyes shut.

Spencer moaned against me, lapping up my arousal, pushing his tongue into me.

“Fuck, such a good whore for your Mistress,” Penelope muttered as she continued fucking him, “That’s so hot.”

“Do you like performing for us? Like showing off how good you can be?” I growled and tugged Spencer’s hair, “Such a needy slut.”

Spencer pulled back, “Please, it hurts, I want to cum so bad…”

“Color, baby?” I asked.

“Green,” he said after a second, “I want it so bad.”

“We’ll come together baby, just wait a little longer,” I assured him, “Is that okay?”

Penelope had paused when he pulled away and stood still, quietly watching us. When Spencer nodded and moved back down, she began fucking him faster. I was close, and within a minute, I was gasping with pleasure.

“Fuck- cum- cum with me, Spence,” I choked out.

Penelope reached down to stroke him, but it barely took a touch for him to cum, both of us moaning loudly as we orgasmed, my entire body shaking. I slumped back as Spencer collapsed onto the bed, letting Penelope pull out gently.

“Are you okay or do you want more, Pen?” I asked as she got into the bed next to me. “I’m always happy to make a pretty girl feel good.”

She looked up at me, “You sure?”

I nodded, pulling her between my hips so Spencer had a better view, pulling her legs apart with mine, fingers moving quickly across her clit. She leaned her head against my shoulder, making breathy noises, gasping when I pushed my fingers inside her for just a second. Garcia quickly came, grinding against my fingers, covering my fingers.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” she hummed, leaning back against me.

I shifted so our backs were to the headboard, guiding Spencer to curl up in my arms. We were silent for a minute, breathing slowing, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Hey, Pen, I’m going to get a towel, can you hold Spence for a second?” I asked. “Is that okay, baby?”

Spencer nodded and I shifted him into Penelope’s arms before standing slowly, grabbing soft towels from the bathroom and walking back, wiping all of us down. When I was done, I tossed the towels towards the hamper before moving back onto the bed, settling under the covers around Spencer. Garcia faced him on the other side.

“Is…” she hesitated, “Is it okay if I stay here tonight?”

I poked Spencer gently, “Is that okay?”

He nodded and motioned for her to move closer. Penelope and I smiled at each other and we all fell asleep, a jumble of arms and legs, finding comfort in the each other’s warmth.

***

It was just our luck a case came up early the next morning. Garcia, Spencer, and I all walked in together, making Morgan wolf-whistle.

“Dang, wish I was there!” He laughed.

“Some other time, baby,” Garcia winked at him, “If you ask nicely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! I hit a writer's block with this one for some reason.


	54. Grandson of Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team deals with a Son of Sam copycat.

The kids got a cold.

So Spencer and I got a cold.

So the four of us ended up feeling awful at home for two weeks.

Forget torture, just put anyone you want to confess in charge of two sick kids and a sick husband. I’d confess anything on the spot just to get out.

Of course, the kids recovered before us, meaning while we felt awful, they were full of energy. We tried to remotely assist with the case the team was on, but between being sick and the kids, we basically did nothing. Garcia dropped by after work every day with soup, which was our only respite from the leftovers and microwave meals Spencer and I made, since we didn’t have the energy for anything else.

When we were finally back to our old selves, I began working on arrangements for babysitting so I could be on cases again. The kids were only 8 months old – younger than I would’ve preferred if I had a different job – but the team needed me.

On my first day back, I walked in to find Garcia holding a box of cupcakes and everyone waiting to celebrate. I smiled and hugged everyone, grabbed a cupcake, and started walking to the breakroom when Hotch pulled me into his office.

“What’s wrong?” I asked through a mouthful of icing.

“I just want to make sure you’re really ready for this. Hayley-“ his voice caught for a second, “Hayley and Jack and a hard time with me going on cases so much, I don’t want Tobias and Maeve to feel neglected. Just tell me that you’ve really thought this through.”

I nodded, “Jenna takes care of them during the day and Elle takes them at night, plus we have four different backups. We’re going to see how it goes, but that’s working for now.”

“That’s good,” Hotch agreed, “Is Garcia one of your backups?”

“She insisted,” I laughed.

“And how are you and Reid doing?” He asked.

I smiled just thinking about my husband. “The cold was awful, but we’re doing okay.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Are you propositioning me, Agent Hotchner?” I teased.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, “Forget I asked.”

I laughed as I walked out of the office and to the briefing room, taking my spot next to Spencer, my hand in his.

“Today on Penelope needs therapy because people are disgusting, a Son of Sam copycat.” Garcia began.

We all groaned.

“.44 Bulldog revolver, women with dark hair, and the last crime scene had a letter similar to the one David Berkowitz left, including taunting the police.” Garcia clicked through victim and crime scene photos, “We’re looking at an abbreviated but similar timeline, and killings in about the same place.”

“I’ve pulled all the files we have on the Son of Sam,” Hotch said from the back of the room, “I want everyone to review the profile, but this new killer is not beholden to it. Keep an open mind.”

We all nodded.

“Wheels up in 30.”

***

“So, the original Son of Sam claimed there was a demonic dog telling him to kill people,” I said, flipping through the file, “Do we search for people with big dogs next door?”

“I said we’re just using Son of Sam as a basic guide, we’re not using it as template,” Hotch reminded me.

“It’s somewhere to start.”

He sighed, “That’s true. Garcia?”

“Way ahead of you,” she said, typing sounds in the background, “I’ll flag anyone with a violent psychiatric history and get back to you.”

“Work your magic, baby,” Morgan said.

***

It was my first night so far away from the kids. I called Elle and Jenna before going to bed, and the babies were already sleeping. They promised to send regular updates, and Spencer thanked them and hung up.

“They’re good babysitters, Maeve and Tobias will be fine,” he assured me.

I sighed and flopped back onto the bed, “I know, but I still don’t like it.”

“I feel the same way every time I go on a case, but you have to trust them. It’ll be okay.” He sat next to me, “C’mon, take a deep breath.”

I nodded and focused on deep, slow breaths, holding Spencer’s hand to ground myself. Once my breathing slowed, Spencer helped me out of my clothes and into pajamas before we curled up together.

“I love you,” I whispered into his chest.

“I love you too.”

***

“This seems like he’s doing what Berkowitz did, but in weeks instead of months, which means this week was…” I looked down at my notes, “October 1976. The next killing was in November, Donna DeMasi, and Joanne Lomino, both high school students.”

“He’s kept to the same appearances as the original victims so far, but that doesn’t mean he won’t change under pressure.” Reid agreed, “We need to identify possible victims.”

“Let’s start with their high school and find any lookalikes,” Hotch instructed, “Work from there. And I want cameras- where were they shot?”

“On the porch of Lomino’s home, late at night,” Spencer answered before I could even open my notes.

“We can’t surveil every home and porch just in case, we need to ID possible victims. I’ll call Garcia,” Morgan stepped away, phone already out.

“As soon as we have that, I want agents at the school. JJ, Emily, and (Y/N), I want you there.” Hotch pointed at us.

“No men?” Rossi asked.

Hotch shook his head, “Men are threatening. And don’t ID yourself unless necessary, just say you’re local officers.”

We all nodded.

“Morgan and Rossi, I want you trying to track permits and gun purchases.” Hotch continued, “Cross-check with excessive visits to the prison museum where he spent time. Reid, work on handwriting; signatures, signs of aggression, anything. I don’t want to wait another week, and I know none of you want to, either.”

***

I drove to the school with Emily and JJ going over possible student victims. Because this unsub followed the original Son of Sam so closely, we narrowed it down with ages and where they lived, but still had 10 possibilities and no idea what the combination would be.

“I called ahead to the school and pulled the girls out of class, they’re all in separate offices, haven’t been told anything.” JJ told us, “But we need to see if there are any friend groups. I say we work efficiently, split up to talk to them.”

Emily and I agreed, I parked, and we got out, FBI badges off our belts. A school police officer greeted us at the door and led us to the office suite where the girls were.

“May I ask what this is about, officers?” He said.

“No you may not.” I said tersely.

He nodded and walked away, leaving us in the small office hall. We each took an office, opening the doors and stepping in. A girl with long, dark, hair was waiting, looking up from her phone when I opened the door.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“My name is Officer (Y/N),” I sat, offering my hand, “What’s yours?”

“Deanna,” she shook my hand.

I blinked at the name. Eerily close to the Donna DeMasi’s name, one of the victims so many years ago.

“How old are you, Deanna?” I asked, voice even.

“15, I’m turning 16 in a week and…” she looked at her watch, “3 days, 10 hours, and I’m too lazy to figure out how many minutes.”

I laughed, “Well, happy early birthday.”

“I know you’re not here to talk to me about my birthday, so what’s going on?” Deanna leaned forward, “I was pulled out of class by the principal and escorted here by an officer, and now another officer is interrogating me in an empty office. Am I a suspect or something?”

I shook my head, “The opposite. We’re afraid you may be targeted as a victim.”

She shot up in her seat, “What the hell?”

“Do you know about the Son of Sam, Deanna?”

She thought for a second, “He was a serial killer years ago, right? Like, before my parents were born.”

“In the 1970s, David Berkowitz killed 6 people and wounded 7 between 1975 and 1977. He was only caught after his car was ticketed for a parking violation.” I began, “He’s one of the most notorious serial killers, and we believe someone is imitating him.”

“We being who, exactly?”

“The New York Police Department.” I answered immediately, “We’re working with federal agencies remotely.”

“So how do I factor in?” She asked, “You’ve got the feds, why am I here?”

“This new killer is imitating the victimology of the original Son of Sam, down to the ages of the victims and where they worked or went to school, plus their appearances. If we continue with the current timeline, two students from your school, Martin Van Buren High School, will be targeted next week. To make it worse, this killer is deadlier than Berkowitz, he’s killed all his victims so far.” I could see the fear in her eyes, “We’re doing everything we can to find him, but… We need to identify possible victims. You have the same basic description of one of the victims, and she was 16.”

Deanna paled, “Can I see a picture?”

I pulled the photo out of my case file and slid it across the table to her hesitantly.

Deanna looked up at me in shock, “Take me into protective custody, now! I look way too much like that girl.”

“I can’t do that, Deanna. If this unsub – the killer, if he suspects we’re onto him, the entire investigation could be at risk.”

“So what are you going to do?” She asked, “Something, right?”

“We’re going to have officers on the bus routes of all possible victims, extra surveillance at school, and we’re going to talk to your parents about having federal officers at your home.” I assured her, “And I’ll give you my personal number if you want, to make sure you feel safe.”

She nodded, “Please, I’d feel better with that.”

I pulled out a spare piece of paper and wrote my number down. “Call if you need anything. You can go back to class for now, the police- uh, we, we’ll be contacting your parents about the protection, but please don’t discuss this with anyone else, even if you know they were pulled out of class as well.”

Deanna nodded again, “Thank you.”

I smiled, “Of course.”

***

We finished going through the rest of the potential victims, but none stood out as much as Deanna. She was too similar to the original victim to be ignored. I expressed my instinct to Hotch, and he agreed to put extra protection on her.

“Okay, we have a good idea of his next victims, and the list of suspects is only down to 100, so that’s something,” Hotch said for our evening briefing, “We’ll continue tomorrow, but there’s nothing else we can do tonight. Everyone try and get some sleep.”

We all nodded and began packing up, but I knew each of us would be doing research late into the night, trying to find a lead. We left the station in groups, walking to the hotel, Spencer and I leaving first.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Spencer asked.

I shrugged, “That girl I talked to, Deanna, it was eerie how similar she was, and she was so scared, I’m just worried for her.”

“They have officers protecting her, it’ll be okay. Plus, this unsub isn’t even going to do anything until next week.” Spencer assured me. “Try to breathe.”

I nodded, head on his shoulder as we walked to our room. We slowly stripped and got into the shower together, Spencer rubbing the knots out of my shoulders as the hot water washed over us.

“Hey, Spence?” I asked, head resting against his chest, “Can you do something for me?”

“Of course, anything,” he answered immediately.

I took a deep breath, “I need to relax… I want to kneel, not sexually, just- just to calm down.”

“Okay, you can do that,” he agreed, “Do you want to finish showering first?”

I nodded. He finished washing us both and helped me towel off before leading me carefully back into the room, helping me into a nightgown and guiding me to kneel on a pillow.

“Palms up on your knees, focus on your breathing,” he instructed, sitting on the bed in front of me.

I closed my eyes, adjusting myself to be more comfortable before placing my hands gently on my thighs, dropping my shoulders as I relaxed.

I could hear the approval in his voice, “Good.”

I smiled at that, even though it was so simple.

“I want you to listen to me carefully and try not to object.” His voice was firm, “Just let me speak.”

I nodded.

“You are doing everything you can on this case. We can’t know exactly what’s going to happen, but the entire team is trying to protect potential victims and find this unsub.” Spencer ran his hand through my hair as he spoke, “You have to remember that sometimes things happen whether you like it or not, and you can’t protect everyone. I know that’s hard, but you can’t be as good of an agent if you’re focusing on mistakes and what might happen. We can’t focus on individuals; we have to focus on the case.”

I nodded again.

“I want you to stay there with your eyes closed while I get ready for bed.” I heard Spencer stand.

I stayed in my position, breathing slowly. I could hear Reid walking around the room, opening his bag and getting dressed (I assumed), footsteps heavy on the carpeted floor. I heard him walk behind me, twitching a little when his hand rested on my shoulder.

“I’m going to blindfold you, okay? Try to trust me.”

“I trust you,” I said immediately.

I felt Spencer slip the fabric over my head, making sure it covered my eyes. I didn’t try to peek.

“Can I take your nightgown off?” He asked, lips brushing my ear.

I nodded and held up my arms, allowing him to pull the thin fabric over my head.

“Spread your knees, keep your hands on your legs,” he instructed, “And don’t hold back any sounds.”

I nodded, unsure of what Spencer was planning to do, but fully putting my trust in him. He moved away, moving more quietly now, leaving me with no idea where he’d be next. I took a deep breath that turned into a gasp as Spencer’s fingers trailed up my thigh, barely touching my skin.

“That’s it,” he praised, “Just relax. Can I put something around your neck?”

I nodded. I heard the soft _chink_ of metal and felt something – maybe a chain? – slip over my head and felt Spencer place it gently around my neck. Just by the feeling, I guessed it was a chain choke collar – the metal hung loosely against my skin, and one part of it seemed to trail down between my breasts. I twitched at the coldness of it. The collar was heavy – not uncomfortable, but impossible to ignore, grounding.

Spencer’s hands began to move quicker, never staying in the same place for more than a second. My legs, my back, my arms, my chest, my face; nothing was left untouched, leaving my skin tingling with anticipation.

“So good for me, such a good girl,” he whispered.

I hummed happily at the nickname, smiling.

“This is what you wanted, right? To be my pretty little sub, my good girl?”

I nodded, blushing at his words. Spencer’s hand pressed on my thigh and I felt his weight shift, then his lips were on mine, and I kissed him eagerly, wanting to wrap my arms around him, but I stayed still.

“You’re so brave for me,” he praised, “My brave wife.”

I hummed hearing those words.

“Do you feel better?” He asked, kissing behind my ear.

I nodded, “I want to cuddle you.”

“Okay, give me a second,” I could hear the smile in his voice. Dork.

I heard footsteps again, the rustling of fabric, and his voice behind me.

“Close your eyes, I’ve turned the lights off, but it’ll take a second to adjust,” he said, waiting a second before pulling the blindfold off.

I waited in position, knowing he’d go to put the blindfold away before leading me to bed. As I’d expected, Spencer walked back and helped me to my feet, kissing me as I leaned on him, knees hurting a little.

“Do you want your nightgown?” He asked.

I shook my head as my hands trailed down his bare chest. I opened my eyes, the room just light enough that I could see Spencer’s face. I leaned up to kiss him, and he helped me under the sheets. I turned so I was the little spoon, completely enveloped in Spencer’s arms, one of his legs on top of mine. As I fell asleep, I felt him kissing my shoulders, making sure I felt safe.

***

The next day, I felt much more focused, walking to the precinct with my coffee in hand, ready to continue the case. We met the rest of the team in the meeting room set aside for us.

“We want to give a basic profile, just to the officers, not media,” Hotch told the team and precinct captain, who’d joined us. “It’s just so that your men have an idea of what to look for, and we’ll be giving the same profile to the people guarding the potential victims. I need you,” he looked at the captain, “To ensure this doesn’t get to the media. Word spreads fast and we can’t risk a change in behavior.”

“I’ll do everything I can. These are good men and women, they’ll listen,” he nodded confidently. “I’ll assemble them for your profile. Agents.” He walked out of the room.

“We’re not giving them the real profile, are we?” I asked as soon as he walked out.

Hotch shook his head, “Some of the details will be true, but we will be inserting some falsehoods. We can’t trust them not to talk, and when it gets to the media, I don’t want to scare this unsub into changing plans.”

“So what do we say about how he’s imitating the Son of Sam? It’s pretty obvious,” Morgan asked. “And that’s the biggest part.”

Hotch began passing out a paper with a typed profile, “This is what we’re presenting. We are going to misrepresent where he is in the Son of Sam’s timeline and what he’s likely to do next. The officers protecting the girls from the high school will be given the correct profile, they’re all current or former WITSEC.”

“Are you sure this is the best idea?” Rossi asked, “There are a lot of eyes in this city we could have on our side with the true profile.”

“And there are too many mouths.” Hotch countered. “This is what we’re doing.”

***

“We’ve narrowed it down to fifteen possible unsubs,” Garcia reported, “So you can either go after them or find some way to narrow it down.”

“I want it down lower. We can’t risk alerting anyone.” Hotch said.

I looked up, “We could call them in, just as witnesses.”

He shook his head, “Narrow it down more. Find something.”

I sighed and began looking through the file, searching for anything. Just then, Reid ran into the room.

“I have a geographic profile. Well, sort of. It’s hard in New York, but it might help.” He looked excited.

Reid smiled as he listed off the area parameters to Penelope, who immediately began searching. I leaned back a little and admired Spencer’s little ‘I’m helping solve a case’ smile.

“That’s more like it, my little genius!” Garcia exclaimed, “We’re down to three who live or work in that area. Sending you the information now.”

Our phones buzzed simultaneously.

“Great work, Reid. Okay, find out where these guys are now. Bring them in as witnesses, nothing else. We can’t have anyone running or getting violent.” Hotch instructed.

***

All three suspects came in willingly. We put them in separate rooms.

Hotch turned to me. “You should ask Deanna to come in.”

“Absolutely not,” I said immediately, “She shouldn’t get involved in this. We don’t even know if he’s targeting her, and it’s additional danger.”

“But he might react to her, and we can use that to our advantage,” he countered, “It’s the right thing to do.”

“You’re risking traumatizing a teenage girl over a possible confession!” I shot back, “No.”

“Either you get her or someone else does.” He answered. “Her parents have already agreed.”

“I’ll come with you,” JJ offered.

I grumbled and turned on my heel, “Fine.”

We drove to the school and I got out, walking to the office and requesting Deanna be removed from class immediately, pulling out my badge. The clerk’s eyes widened, and he rushed to get her. We waited, and a few minutes later, she was being escorted down the hall.

“What’s going on?” She asked, “Is something wrong?”

I turned to the clerk, “We need an office to talk, please.”

He nodded and led us to a small room, where JJ and I sat opposite Jenna.

“We’ve brought in three possible suspects, and we want you to help us with the interrogations. Because we know this unsub is familiar with the Son of Sam case, and we suspect you’re one of his next targets, he might acknowledge you and give us an upper hand.” I decided it was easier to be honest than try to beat around the bush.

Deanna went pale, “What the- me?”

I nodded. “You can say no, but my boss wants to bring you in, just see if you can do anything. We’ll bring your parents in if you’d like, they gave us permission to ask you to do this.”

Deanna thought for a second. “One question first.”

I leaned forward, “Go ahead.”

“Tell me who you really are.” She imitated my movement, meeting my eyes, “I looked through all the police databases, you’re not an officer, so who are you?”

I sighed and pulled out my badge. “Supervisory Special Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N), I’m part of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. We didn’t want to alarm you, that’s why I didn’t tell you. This case became part of federal jurisdiction after the first three killings and we were called in after the fourth and fifth.”

“And you thought it was okay to lie to me?” She asked.

“We didn’t want to alarm you about the issue, or cause drama at school. We informed your parents but determined it was safer not to tell the potential victims themselves.” I tried to keep my voice calm, “I’m sorry for not telling you, but it would be really great for you to come in, we could close this case quickly.”

“Fine.” She stood up. “But don’t lie next time.”

***

I glared at Hotch as we walked into the precinct. I led Deanna to the interrogation rooms and let her stay in the outer room while I talked to Hotch.

“It’s not fair to let her in there.” I said, “She’s just a girl.”

“She’s the best method we have of getting them to break.” He countered, “Are you doing it or do I need to get someone else?”

“I’m going in.” I stopped him.

***

We walked out of the interrogation room after getting a confession. I threw the case folder at Hotch.

“I hope it was worth it.”

I drove Deanna home, mostly in silence.

“Feel free to call me, it can be scary being in a room with people like that. Don’t be ashamed.” I assured her. “It terrified me the first time. I can help you.”

“Thank you.” She smiled. “I’ll let you know.”

I made sure she got into her house and waved at her parents before driving straight back to the hotel, rushing up to the room Spencer and I shared before collapsing onto the bed. The feelings of the day rushed over me, and I curled up, falling asleep immediately.

My dreams were full of the images of crime scenes, Deanna’s scared face, and the face of the unsub, laughing at us.


	55. A Bad Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the case.

I slept on the plane ride home, not wanting to interact with anyone. I drifted in and out of dreams, waking up enough to hear muted voices a few times and feel Spencer’s hand in mt hair, but nothing else. When we touched down, Spencer carried me to the car and buckled me into the front seat, driving to Jenna and Elle’s house to pick up the kids before driving home. Tobias and Maeve were already asleep, so he laid them down quietly in their cribs before guiding me to our bedroom, helping me out of my clothes and into a sweater.

“Spencer?” I murmured as he guided me to bed, “Why are you doing this for me?”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Taking care of me, making sure I’m okay,” I tried to stop myself from continuing, but all my filters were gone, “Why do you do that for me?”

“Because you’re my wife and I care about you.” He answered, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I was being dramatic during the case, I made it worse for the team… I got in the way.”

“Stop. Don’t do that.” Spencer said firmly. “You were doing what you thought was best. I couldn’t be mad at you for that.”

“But…” I curled up into his chest, “I just feel awful…”

“I know, but it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled me close, “Just try to sleep, okay? We can talk about this in the morning.”

I nodded, breathing until I finally managed to relax and fall asleep.

***

I woke up to Spencer’s off-key singing floating down the hall. I smiled and rolled over, enjoying it for a few minutes before pulling myself out of bed, rubbing my eyes and walking out of the bedroom.

“Spence, babe?” I asked, peeking into the nursery.

He stopped and turned to me. Tobias was on his hip, sucking on a pacifier, while his other hand was in Maeve’s crib, letting her grip his fingers tightly.

“Morning, darling,” he smiled, “How did you sleep?”

“Really well,” I walked forward and took Tobias, who immediately pulled on my shirt, gurling. “Thank you for taking care of me yesterday.”

He leaned forward to kiss me, “Of course, my love.”

I looked down into Maeve’s crib. She was standing up, supporting herself on the railing. Spencer picked her up, making her coo and lean against his shoulder.

“Such a daddy’s girl,” I teased, “She’s got you wrapped around her tiny pinky.”

He nodded, “So do you, darling.”

We had a lazy morning, playing with the kids and cuddling. By lunchtime, they’d tired themselves out and been put down for a nap, while Spencer and I curled up ourselves, cuddling and just enjoying being together.

“Spence,” I murmured, “Can we just stay like this forever?”

He nodded, “Let’s just pause the universe forever.”

“Um, actually, pausing the universe would-“ I started, already smiling.

“Shut up,” he pulled me into a kiss, “Don’t give me that sass.”

I smiled against his lips. “Make me, darling.”

He rolled over to try and pin me down, but put too much of his weight into it and rolled off the bed, narrowly missing the bedside table.

“Shit, Spence!” I scrambled off the bed, but he was laughing. “You scared me!”

“I’m okay, I just messed up,” he pulled himself up, eyes sparling.

“My idiotic genius.” I kissed him.

***

JJ took the kids for the day, leaving Spencer and I to relax. We went to the spa and got couple’s massages (Spencer insisted on new oil and gloves, of course) and mani-pedis. He originally wanted to get clear polish, but I begged, and Spencer finally relinquished, agreeing to plain black (which he admitted looked good). We got home and did some cleaning, which helped us both relax (oh jeez, I’m getting old).

By the time we got the kids back, the house looked half-decent again and most of the laundry was put away. We fed the kids before playing with them for a while, just enjoying their smiles. I honestly mostly relaxed and let Spencer play with them. He was so good at engaging them and I could watch his smile forever. After a while, Spencer’s tone seemed to change a little, his words less pronounced and tone higher. It seemed almost out of character; he dropped words and moved differently, but then I recognized what was going on.

“Are you in littlespace, Spence?” I asked, smiling.

He looked at me shyly and nodded, “Dey- it kinda jus happened.”

I smiled and kissed him, “My three sweet babies.”

Spencer blushed. I pulled him between my legs, letting the babies crawl up over both of us, babbling and gurgling. He relaxed against me, curling and turning so he could grip my shirt. I smiled and ran my thumb across his lips, amazed at how soft they were. Spencer’s lips parted for a second, making my thumb drop against his tongue. Before I could move, he closed his lips, sucking lightly on my thumb.

I cooed, “My sweet little baby.”

He hummed happily, cuddling closer against me. I wrapped Maeve, Tobias, and Spencer in my arms, rocking them all slowly, starting to sing as I held them all close. Tobias grabbed at Maeve’s shirt, and they ended up falling asleep gripping each other’s clothes tightly. I laugh and adjusted them carefully, letting Reid shift so one of his ears was against my chest as I sang. When I was sure the babies were asleep, I shifted and stood up, laying them down together in a crib before returning to Spencer.

“Are you still regressed, Spence?” I asked.

He nodded shyly, grabbing at my hand. I offered it and he took my thumb into his mouth again. This was so different from the nerd I was used to who refused to shake hands and stayed careful; this was a carefree, relaxed kid, the boy he never got to be. Spencer let go of my hand, still sucking my thumb, and shifted so he could straddle my hips, wrapping himself around me, sticking his nose against my shoulder.

“Mine,” he whispered.

I nodded, kissing him, “Yours, I’m yours, Spencer.”

He hummed happily and pulled me closer. We stayed like that for a while. I held Spencer close and kissed him while he just mumbled happily and relaxed.

***

“I want to talk to Hotch about Deanna,” I said, pacing back and forth across the kitchen, “He shouldn’t have done what he did, and I need him to know that it was wrong.”

“So go into the office and talk to him, you have the right to do that,” Spencer answered, sitting and watching me pace.

I hesitated, “I don’t want to upset him, I just-“

“It wasn’t right, and he forced you into a bad situation, and you should talk to him about it.”

I nodded, “I’ll text him and let him know I’m coming in.”

“That’s up to you, just remember to use the right phone,” Spencer teased.

I flipped him off, silently grateful for the reminder.

***

I took a deep breath, looked back at Spencer for reassurance, and knocked on Hotch’s door. I wasn’t really as nervous as I seemed, I was just stressed and angry.

“Come in,” he called.

I entered, sitting down, grateful I had already put my bag down at my desk. “I want to talk to you about the last case and how you handled the situation with Deanna.”

He nodded, putting down his pen and leaning back to look at me, “Okay.”

“You shouldn’t have put a minor in that situation, regardless of what her parents said,” I began, “And you shouldn’t have put me in the emotional situation of being the one to do it to her. It was a rock and a hard place on whether it was me or someone else that got her, and you knew that when you asked me to do that.” I fought to keep my voice calm, “I respect your decision as my boss and the team lead, but you could have handled that better.”

Hotch took a deep breath, “I know, and I’m sorry. I was stressed and trying to get the case finished, and I put you and her in a bad situation by doing that.”

“It’s like scene negotiations, I didn’t have an out there, and that wasn’t fair.” I stood, “That’s all. I just thought you should know.”

My eyes burning with angry tears, I walked out before he could respond.

***

I avoided the questioning looks from Spencer and the team as we began with the briefing, but Emily pulled me aside as we were leaving the room.

“What happened between you and Hotch?” She asked.

I rolled my eyes, “Nothing, I just told him off for what he did during the last case, it’s fine.”

“You wouldn’t even make eye contact with him during the briefing and neither of you said anything the entire time, and Hotch kept shooting you dirty looks. So either you hooked up this weekend and something went wrong, or there’s something else you’re not telling me.”

“I didn’t ‘hook up’ with Hotch,” I said firmly, “It’s nothing.”

“You can say you don’t want to talk about it while admitting there’s something wrong,” Emily crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall, raising one eyebrow, “Alternatively, you do want to talk about it, and you’re just being a bitch.”

“We said no profiling each other,” I snapped, “So cut it out.”

“It’s not profiling, it’s called not being blind. It’s just like when we all knew you and Spencer liked each other way before it happened. A two year old could figure that out.”

“Hotch overstepped and I told him off and that’s it.”

“Bullshit,” Emily grabbed my arm, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, but don’t act like there’s nothing going on.”

“He shouldn’t have made me bring Deanna into that, it wasn’t okay,” I said, fighting to keep my breath slow, “And I told him that much.”

“Have you checked on her since we left New York?” She asked.

I blinked, hard. I hadn’t, I’d just been angry and caught up in myself.

“I- no, I haven’t, actually.”

Emily nodded, as if she’d expected that. “Okay. Go find an empty office and call or text her. If she’s in class, leave a message. I’ll help Spencer get your go bag together.”

I nodded gratefully, “I will. Thank you.”

***

I paced back and forth as the phone rang, wondering if Deanna would pick up. I couldn’t remember what time her school started, and if it has, would she be able to get out of class?

“Hello?” Her voice echoed from my phone.

“Hi, this is Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N), this is Deanna, correct?” I asked.

“Yeah, hi, agent!” She said, “Is there something wrong? I just stepped out of homeroom, is there something you need?”

“I just…” I hesitated, “I wanted to check in with you. I realized I hadn’t talked to you since we got a confession, and I thought I should.”

“Oh! Yeah, uh, thanks. I guess I just… I’ve kinda been in shock, y’know? I don’t know if I’m allowed to talk about it to anyone, I meant to ask you…” she trailed off.

“You’re allowed to discuss it, we didn’t share any information with you that would be considered confidential, it’s all just case facts. The only thing that we didn’t share was that I was an agent, but that doesn’t matter now.” I explained, “And if you’d like me to direct you towards some psychologists in New York who’ve worked with agents and officers, I can do that.”

“Yeah… Can you send that to my parents? Just to be all official about it? They’re being weird about it for some reason, they’re against therapy or something.” She laughed nervously, “If you’re okay with that.”

“Of course, Deanna, I’ll pull their information and send all that along later today.” I smiled, “And if you want me to talk to them directly, I will.”

“I’ll let you know; the agent card might be useful.”

“And if you want to talk to me, or any of the other agents, just text or call me. We’re all happy to talk to you.”

“I do have one question.” She said, a little shyly.

“Yeah, of course, go ahead.” I welcomed.

“Does Agent Reid know you’re married? Because _I_ saw your ring, but he keeps looking at you… like he wants to ignore that.” She sounded a little nervous even asking.

“You’d be a good profiler, Deanna,” I laughed, “Agent Reid – Spencer – is my husband. I know you didn’t interact with him much, but he was wearing his matching ring.” _And collar_ , I thought, but I knew better than to say that. “So, on the contrary, he rather likes to remind me that we’re married.”

“Oh! Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“It’s okay, really. Good eye,” I praised, “You were in a room with him for what, 30 seconds, and got all that? You should join the team.”

“I’ll think about it,” I could hear the smile in her voice. “I kinda have to go, first period is about to start.”

“Yeah, go ahead, and tell your homeroom teacher I apologize, I’m happy to send an email if you need. But feel free to text or call, any time.”

“I will, thank you, agent.” She said, “And tell Agent Reid I said to stop looking at your ass so much.”

I actually laughed out loud at that, “I would never. Have a great day, Deanna.”

“You too, agent.”

***

“Better?” Emily asked as we boarded the plane.

I nodded, “I’m going to forward a list of therapists and psychologists to her parents, just so she has resources and people to talk to in the city.”

“Good, you look much more relaxed.” She smiled as we sat.

Spencer raised an eyebrow at me as I sat next to him, laughing a little.

“Remember that girl I brought in?” I asked.

He nodded, “Deanna, of course I do.”

“She says to stop looking at my ass so much when we’re working. She thought you – how did she put it? – ‘wanted to ignore that I was married’.”

“Damn, pretty boy, keep in it your pants.” Morgan teased.

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **Are we OK?**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Yeah. I’m sorry.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a little shorter, but I hope y'all enjoy!


	56. Do Whatever You Need To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader helps Deanna with family problems and a new case comes up.

Maeve stood up using my shirt as a ladder, and I held her up and turned her around to face Spencer.

“Go on, go to dad!” I encouraged.

“The average age for babies to start walking in the United States is 12 months, she might not-“

She walked over to him, only wobbling a little, falling against his chest and gurgling as she looked up at him.

“You were saying?” I laughed, “How dare you think our children would be normal, Dr. Spencer Reid?”

He held Maeve up and looked at her, “You just had to walk as I was saying that, huh? You had to sass me like that?”

She smiled and spit up on him, making me completely devolve into laughter.

“Brat,” he muttered, grabbing a nearby rag to wipe his shirt off. “You’re lucky I’m not in work clothes.”

Tobias, who’d been nearby, laying down under a mobile, looked up, crawling over to Spencer and babbling incoherently.

“If you start busting out in full sentences before 12 months, I am going to die laughing,” I told him, “Please do it.”

“Developmentally, it’s not impossible, but it is unlikely.”

“Reid, you have an eidetic memory and we both have higher education and IQs well above 100, and I know that’s not an accurate measure of intelligence, but do you really think our kids will be anywhere close to normal?”

He shrugged, “Good point.”

“Hold up, I’m gonna get my phone, I want a picture from today of her walking.” I stood, grabbing my phone.

Spencer encouraged Maeve to walk back to me. Slowly, she started the first few steps, making it most of the way before falling onto one of my legs. I laughed and stopped the video, about to toss my phone aside when it rang.

“Hold up, uh-“ I looked down to see Deanna’s name on the screen, “Shit, I should probably take this.” I tried to get Maeve off my leg, but she held onto me, so I put her on my hip as I walked out of the room. “This is Agent (Y/N).”

“Hey, it’s me, Deanna,” she sounded- scared? Out of breath? “I need something from you.”

“Yeah, of course, what’s going on?” I asked, “Try to breathe, it’s okay.”

“My parents started yelling at me for asking you for the names of therapists… they’re having a fight… I need you- I don’t know, I just didn’t know who else to call.”

“Send me their numbers, now.” I said firmly, “I’m going to give Spencer your number, he’ll stay on the phone with you while I talk to them, okay?”

“Okay…” I heard noises in the background, “I just sent them to you.”

“Where are you right now?”

“My room, I locked the door.” She answered, “But the apartment is small…”

“Okay, that was the right move. Spencer’s going to call you in a second, okay? I’ll talk to them. If you feel unsafe, we can dispatch officers.”

“It’s fine, it’s not that bad-“ I heard banging in the background, “Just hurry.”

She hung up. I immediately walked back into the living room, practically throwing Spencer’s phone at him, “I’m texting you Deanna’s number. Call her, she needs to be talking to someone, her parents are fighting because of the therapist situation or something. I’m going to call them.”

Spencer nodded, already looking down to see the number on his phone. A text popped up from Deanna with a number, which I immediately dialed, holding Maeve close to me as I paced.

“Hello, who is this?” Came a deep, angry voice.

“This is Supervisory Special Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N) with the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, we were on a case involving your daughter about a week and a half ago. This is Mr. Henderson, Deanna’s father, I presume?”

“Yes.”

“I recently sent you an email regarding possible psychologists for your daughter in order to help her deal with her part in the case, did you receive it?” I knew he had, but I couldn’t put Deanna in his line of fire.

“Yes, my wife and I got it.”

“Great! I was just wondering how she’s doing and if you’ve gotten in contact with any of the people I suggested.”

“No, we haven’t.” He said tersely.

I took a deep breath, “May I ask why not?”

“We haven’t seen any reason to send her to some hypnotist who’s just going to give her depression.”

_How the fuck didn’t I notice this when I talked to them during the case?_

“Sir, this would just be one or two checkups in order to make sure she’s processing the case properly and understands how she helped.” I was angry, but I knew better than to let it bleed into my tone. “I know you were interested in having her help with the case, this is just an extension of that, to ensure there were no adverse effects.”

“This is part of the case?”

“Yes. Whenever minors are involved in any capacity in a case, we recommend they see a psychologist. I don’t think there’s anything wrong, but this is routine, especially since she interacted directly with the perpetrator.”

“This is recommended by the FBI? This isn’t just her?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Fine.” He hung up.

I looked back at Spencer, who was looking at me expectantly, clearly listening to Deanna. I gestured for him to pass the phone.

“Hey, Deanna? (Y/N) just got off the phone, can I pass you over to her?” Spencer said.

I couldn’t hear what she said in response, but he held out the phone to me.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about that,” I said, tucking the phone under by chin, “It seems like your dad thought you were trying to… use this as an excuse to get a therapist or something.”

She snorted, “Yeah, sounds about right.”

“I told him the truth, we recommend psych evals for any minors involved in a case, and he seemed more agreeable by the end, so you should be okay.”

“Thank you so much,” she breathed a sigh of relief, “I think it’ll be really helpful, he’s a government nut, so… thank you.”

“Yeah, of course. Hey, one more thing.” I said, glancing at my watch.

“Happy 16th birthday, Deanna.” I said with a smile, “Have some cake for me, okay?”

“I absolutely will, Madam FBI Agent.” She teased, “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

We hung up, and Spencer looked at me, “So everything’s okay?”

I shrugged, “Better, we’ll see how it goes.”

“You really wanted to yell at him, didn’t you?” He asked as I sat back on the couch, bouncing Maeve on my hip, “I could see how angry you were.”

“Are you profiling me, Agent Reid?” I teased.

He grinned, “Nope, I just know my wife, and I like her ass.”

We both laughed at that.

“I love you, Dr. Spencer Reid,” I leaned over to kiss him.

Spencer grabbed my shirt, pulling me off the couch and making me fall into him, “And I love you.”

I flicked him, “Do that again and I’ll bust out the cage.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

I smiled and kissed his cheek, “Try me.”

***

Tobias started walking a few days later, and we bought supplies for Jenna and Elle to babyproof their house before going off on the next case.

The case was gross, but not unlike what we were used to: A girl disappeared every night, showed up two days later dead in the same clothes with indications of torture.

“We know the bars he’s going to, but we don’t know who he is, and no one could give us a good description. We need people undercover.” The police captain said, “I was going to put my people in, but then you said you were coming.”

“It’s a good idea, but we’re more experienced with undercover work, it’s good you waited for us.” Hotch responded, “We have a good profile, our agents can figure out who he is and get him alone.”

“He doesn’t have a specific type, it’s more the clothing than the girl,” JJ piped up, “Any of us could do it.”

“Or all of us,” I pointed out, “Each of us takes a different bar, make sure we fit the victim profile, it increases the likelihood of catching him.”

“But we can’t be three places at once with officers,” Morgan countered.

“Three teams,” Emily, JJ, and I chorused.

“We can get the clothes and do it tonight, take this guy down before he has the chance to take anyone else.” Emily looked at me and JJ, and we both nodded.

“What if he takes you before we can get to you?” Spencer’s arms were crossed, his eyes trained on me.

“Sew trackers into the seams of the clothes, I could do that quickly,” I’d already thought of that, “No one would notice a tiny alteration, and since he keeps the clothes on, you should be able to track us down easily.”

Hotch didn’t say anything, just looked between us, thinking.

“It’s not safe, what if something changes, we’d have no way of knowing what happened to you or where you were.” Morgan argued.

“It’s a good plan,” Rossi stopped him. “You might not like it, but it’s a good plan.”

We all looked at Hotch.

“Aaron?” I asked.

He nodded, “If you don’t have the right clothes with you, go get them. I’ll have a sewing kit and trackers by the time you get back.”

We all nodded, already knowing we’d have to go out to buy clothes; they were designer clothes unlike anything we ever bought or had with us. Emily and JJ stood up to leave, but Spencer grabbed by arm as we did.

“Can we talk?”

“Spence, can we do this after everything is ready?” I asked, “We need to make sure it’s all set for tonight.”

“Sure.”

***

We got the clothes and returned to the station, where I carefully stitched the trackers into the clothes, making sure they wouldn’t be visible or noticeable without taking the clothes off, even if the unsub’s hands were all over us.

“Okay, all three of you, go to the hotel and prepare. You have the pictures of the victims and their makeup, don’t go overboard.” Hotch instructed us, “We’ll have a final briefing before you go.”

Spencer volunteered to drive us back to the hotel. We were silent most of the way there, and Spencer said nothing on the way up to the room, until we were in and the door closed.

“You’ll need to take off your bracelet,” he said tersely. “I’ll hold onto it.”

“Spence…”

“What? It just makes sense, you need to take it off, it’s too suspicious.” He refused to meet my eyes.

“Spencer, I know you don’t like this, I don’t either, but it’s what makes sense for the case.”

“You hated when Hotch said that about Deanna!” Spencer snapped, “Why is this different?”

“I’m an adult, she’s 16. I’m an agent with the FBI.” My tone matched his, “I’m going undercover.”

“I don’t like it…” He sighed, “What about the kids?”

“You think I haven’t thought about that? You think my first thought wasn’t ‘What happens to our children if I get hurt?’ I’m terrified, but I need to do this.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” he looked like a kicked puppy.

I sat down on the bed, guiding him to sit next to me, “I know, but you can be in the team that’s assigned to my bar, and you’ll be able to track me.”

“What if he notices?” Spencer whispered, “What if it goes wrong?”

“I’ll be okay, Spencer.” I kissed him, “This is routine.”

He leaned onto my shoulder, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

I took a deep breath, holding out my wrist to Spencer so he could take the bracelet off. “You’re sure?”

He nodded, “It’s safer.” He unclasped the bracelet and offered it to me, allowing me to clasp it around his wrist. “Thank you.”

I pulled him into a kiss, “Be safe, okay?”

“You too,” he whispered before kissing me, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

I stayed at the club until 2AM, when Spencer came in, looking worried.

“Spence? What’s going on?” I asked, pulling him aside. “Why are you here?”

“He took Emily, we need to go, now.”

I nodded and followed him out the door, “When?”

“Her tracker started moving about 15 minutes ago, we haven’t heard anything from her, but that’s not surprising. We’ve already got one team following a bit behind, but we’re getting you and Emily as a second group.” He informed me as I climbed into the car.

“Rossi was in charge of Emily, what happened?” I asked.

“They didn’t see her exit anywhere; she was just suddenly a mile away when they looked at the tracker.” Spencer answered, “We’re not sure how.”

“Tunnels beneath the bar? Beer cellar?” I asked.

“Not on any of the plans, but we’re looking.”

***

Emily’s tracker stopped several miles out of town, identified by an officer as an abandoned warehouse, one that unfortunately used to be a storage unit. The other team has set up a perimeter, but waited for us to move in. I’d managed to change in the car, getting into dark jeans and a shirt, pulling by FBI vest over it. Hotch directed us all into position, then counted down. Morgan kicked down the door and I followed behind him.

“Emily?” I yelled.

Nothing.

We kept pulling up doors to units with no success. They were empty, just a layer of dust covering the ground. We got almost all the way through our area when I heard a banging.

“Morgan, shh,” I held out an arm, stopping him. “This way.”

We crept silently down the hallway, slowly approaching the source of the noise.

“This one,” I gestured at the door, vibrating a little. “On three. One, two, three.”

We pulled up the door, backs to the wall on either side of the door, turning into the room. Emily and three girls were tied up and gagged with tape, Emily kicking at the door with both legs. All four had bruises and abrasions covering their body, and one girl had a few bleeding cuts on her arms and legs.

“Em!” I ran forward, ripping the tape off, “Where is he?”

She caught her breath, “I don’t know, by the time I woke up he was already gone.”

“Hotch,” I called into my shoulder radio, “We found the girls, and Emily, but there’s no sign of the unsub.”

“Got it, radio medics to your location.” He responded.

I looked at Morgan, who immediately pulled out his phone, dialing the medics. I finished untying Emily and passed her a small pocketknife to cut the tape. She moved to the girl with more injuries, while I moved towards the girl closer to me.

“Hi, my name is Agent (Y/N), I’m with the FBI.” I said, looking her in the eyes, “I’m going to take the tape off your face, it’ll sting a little.”

She nodded. I peeled the tape off quickly, apologizing as I did.

“Do you want your legs or arms undone first?” I asked.

“Arms, please,” she asked, turning so I could cut them. “Thank you.”

I split the tape between her wrists and helped peel it off, when I noticed the shine of metal from something tucked down the back of her dress. As carefully as I could, I pulled on it, pulse quickening as I realized what it was.

“Emily, Morgan,” I kept my voice calm, “Get the other girl on her feet and clear the building, now.”

“What’s going on?” asked the girl, trying to turn.

“I need you to stay extremely still, okay? Emily, Derek, out, _now._ ” My tone was harsher, “And I need one of you to cuff Spence to a car once he’s out of the building.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Morgan picked up the remaining girl, “Em, come on.”

Emily shot one more look at me as she helped the bruised girl to her feet, “Cuff him, as in fully restrain him?”

“Don’t let him near me under any circumstances.” I nodded, not taking my eyes off the wires going up and down the dress of the girl in front of me, “Do whatever you need to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger mwahaha


	57. Before The Gunshot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bomb explodes.  
> And then things get worse.

“Agent (Y/L/N), Dr. Reid is requesting you move to channel two.”

I sighed and switched my radio but heard nothing.

“What’s wrong, what did you find?” asked the girl.

I knew I couldn’t lie. “You’re wired up to some kind of explosive, but I don’t know what or where the trigger is. Something as simple as unzipping your dress might… activate it.”

“Oh- oh, no, please, agent, help-“ she started.

“Hey,” I put my arm around her gently, “It’s okay. I’m going to figure it out.”

She nodded, “Okay.”

My radio buzzed and I looked down at it.

“(Y/N)?” Spencer sounded terrified, “Morgan literally cuffed me to a car, tell me what’s going on?”

“Who’s that?” asked the girl.

“That’s my husband, he’s another agent on the team investigating the case.” I answered honestly, then activated my radio, “I’m in here with one of the girls, she’s wired into what I think is a bomb.”

“What the- get out of there right now.” Spencer was angry. “Get out.”

“No.” I said firmly, “I am not leaving her alone. Now either shut up or I will turn my radio off.”

“What about Maeve and Tobias?” he answered, and now I could hear the pain in his voice, “What the fuck do I tell them?”

“ _We_ will get home and tell them we got the bad guy.” I had to believe that. “Now, Spencer, be quiet.”

I turned my radio back to the main channel, but it was silent. I was the only one remaining in the building, and they were waiting for me.

“Has someone called a bomb squad?” I asked.

“Yes, but they’re an hour out,” That was Hotch. “Have you found a timer?”

“No, I’m going to start looking. Keep me updated.” I turned my attention back to the girl, “My name is (Y/N), by the way, I work with the FBI.”

She held out her hand carefully, “I’m Alyss, I’m just a waitress.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Alyss, and I’m so sorry we’re getting to know each other under these circumstances, but I may need to cut open your dress.” There was no use in beating around the bush. “I can do it, but I need you on your stomach, as still as you can be.”

Alyss nodded, moving slowly onto her stomach. I grabbed my knife and cut the thin fabric of her dress slowly, carefully moving wires out of the way. I got all the way down the dress and slowly opened the fabric, so it was laid out like butterfly wings on either side of her.

“Well?” Alyss’s voice shook. “How bad is it?”

“I don’t know yet,” I answered, “I’m still working on it.”

My radio buzzed, “Agent, do you have an ID on the remaining victim?”

“Alyss, what’s your last name?” I asked.

“Treaty.”

“Alyss Treaty,” I answered, “I’m working on finding the bomb now, it’s hidden in the dress somehow.”

“Agent (Y/N), please put in your earpiece so we can guide you, this is the bomb squad.” That was Rossi. Not bomb squad.

“Roger,” I connected my earpiece and put it in, still gently moving around wires, “What information do you need?”

“Alyss Treaty doesn’t exist,” Spencer said, voice trembling, “She’s a book character. I don’t know who you’re with, but it’s not her.”

“No, all the wires are black,” I answered, “Is there another way to identify them?”

“We didn’t consider the possibility of a female unsub, but it’s possible that’s who you’re with. You need to figure out what she’s hiding.”

“I haven’t found the detonator yet; I’ll radio back as soon as I have.”

“I love you.” He knew I couldn’t say it back.

“Okay, Alyss, I’m going to need you to move completely away from the dress. I’m going to have you turn onto your back and slowly lift it away, okay? Just follow my lead.” My thoughts were racing as I guided her onto her back, then began slowly lifting the dress away. “Okay, it looks like this is actually completely separated from your body, which is good.”

“Oh, thank you,” she breathed a sigh of relief, “Get it away, please.”

I pulled it completely away, barely registering how Alyss was laying as I slowly, carefully moved towards the hallway. “Alyss, cover your ears.” I threw the dress as hard as I could down the hall.

The metal door rattled as the dress exploded, but we were out of the way of the blast.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

_Click._

“Hands behind your head, now.”

***

I moved before I even registered what she’d said, slowly moving my hands behind my head as I glanced down to see my gun was missing.

_Shit, she stole it._

“Alyss, what do you want? Why are you doing this?”

“You. You ruined everything.” Her voice was pure poison, “You _killed_ him, and you figured it out.”

“Who?”

“Russel.”

I froze. “Russel Steele?”

“Oh, so you do remember him?” She mocked me, “Do you remember how he looked when you killed him?”

“I see him in my nightmares, I see him every time I close my eyes,” I answered, “I see the hate on his face, the fear, I know what he looked like right until there was a bullet between his eyes. And he deserved it.”

“He was innocent!” She yelled.

I shook with fear, “He kidnapped four minors and shot an FBI agent, I wouldn’t call him that.”

“Did you make a cute little profile for him? Huh? Did you present it to the cops the same way you did with me, getting all the details wrong? Did you profile a lover that would be so hurt by his loss that she would do anything to get back at the monsters who killed her one true love?” The cold metal of the gun was pressed against my head now, “ANSWER ME!”

“The profile led us to his house, and we found all four kids in the basement. He ran from us and shot me, and our profile was right.” I answered calmly, “We did not profile an accomplice.”

“You’re going to die like he did,” she decided, “Face up, on the ground, unable to be saved. Maybe your cute little husband will watch you the same way I watched him die.”

“Please, you don’t have to do this,” I let fear bleed into my voice, “I don’t want to hurt you, I just want to go home to my kids.”

“Russel and I were going to have kids,” she mused, “You prevented that.”

“You kidnapped kids. That’s not the same.”

“Shut the fuck up and walk,” she grabbed my arm, pushing the gun into my head as she guided me.

***

We exited the building. As I’d expected, the police had formed a perimeter around it, but there were at least 100 feet between us and them. I heard Spencer scream as I emerged, but I couldn’t focus enough to make out the words.

“Get on your back, bitch,” She kicked me, and I fell to my knees, “Take off your fucking vest and get on your back, just like he was.”

I slowly unbuckled my vest and tossed it to the side, then hesitated. “Can I at least talk to my husband one last time?”

“No. Russel didn’t get to talk to me, you don’t get to talk to him.”

But Spencer could still talk to me, and I could still hear him. I could hear the tears, I could hear his voice catching in his throat, I could hear him pleading, but I had to tune out the words. I couldn’t break down.

I got on my back, staring at the stars, hands still behind my back. Like this, I could almost pretend I was just relaxing… I could pretend the dirt was sand and the loud noises were the waves crashing against the shore.

She stood over me, gun trained on my head.

“Spencer,” I whispered, knowing he couldn’t hear me, “I’m sorry. Take care of our children.”

The girl, whatever her real name was, screamed in anger. I closed my eyes.

Before the gunshot, I got three more words in.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, I PROMISE  
> Happy angst :)))


	58. What She Needed To Do (Spencer Reid's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer' POV of the case.

“We know the bars he’s going to, but we don’t know who he is, and no one could give us a good description. We need people undercover. I was going to put my people in, but then you said you were coming.” The police chief – Altman, I think his name was – explained.

“It’s a good idea, but we’re more experienced with undercover work.” Hotch nodded, “It’s good you waited for us. We have a good profile; our agents can figure out who he is and get him alone.”

JJ looked up from her tablet with the case information. “He doesn’t have a specific type, it’s more the clothing than the girl. Any of us could do it.”

 _No._ I thought. _Be quiet, JJ._

You spoke up, and my heart stopped for a second (metaphorically, of course). “Or all of us. Each of us takes a different bar, make sure we fit the victim profile, it increases the likelihood of us catching him.”

“But we can’t be three places at once with officers.” Morgan looked at me, as if sensing my discomfort and fear.

“Three teams.” The girls all said at the same time.

“We can get the clothes and do it tonight, take this guy down before he has the chance to take anyone else.” Emily said. You and JJ were already nodding.

I looked directly at you, “What if he takes you before we can get to you?” I crossed my arms.

Of course you’d already considered that, “Sew trackers into the seams of the clothes, I could do that quickly. No one would notice a tiny alternation, and since he keeps the clothes on, you should be able to track us down easily.”

_Damn my wife and her ability to be amazing at everything she does._

“It’s not safe, what if something changes? We’d have no way of knowing what happened to you or where you are.” Morgan countered.

I looked between Hotch and Rossi, and I knew what was coming.

“It’s a good plan.” Rossi looked at me, “You might not like it, but it’s a good plan.”

Hotchner looked at you, then at me, then back to her. “If you don’t have the right clothes with you, go get them. I’ll have a sewing kit and trackers by the time you get back.”

As they began to walk out, I grabbed your arm, “Can we talk?”

“Spence, can we do that after everything is ready? We need to make sure it’s all set for tonight.”

I couldn’t argue. “Sure.”

***

I paced back and forth in an empty interrogation room, waiting for them to return from shopping. Hotch walked in, and I stopped.

“Are you okay?” He asked, closing the door.

“What do you think?” I snapped at him, “Do I look okay?”

“Reid.” Hotch’s voice was firmer, and I looked up at him, “Do you want me to pull her from the case?”

I sighed, leaning against the table, “That’s not my choice. If she wants to do this, I can’t stop her.”

“She’s going to have to take her ring and bracelet off.”

“Don’t remind me.” I growled, “I hate thinking about that.”

“Spencer, I’m sorry.” Hotch’s face softened, “I know how hard this is.”

_No, you don’t._

***

You finished the sewing quickly, of course and I drove back to the hotel, silently walking up to the room we shared. You put the dress on the bed. I took a deep breath and started talking.

“You’ll need to take off your bracelet, I’ll hold onto it.”

Your voice stung with pain, “Spence…”

“What?” I couldn’t look at you, “It just makes sense, you need to take it off, it’s too suspicious.”

“Spencer, I know you don’t like this, I don’t either.” I hated your calm tone, “It’s what makes sense for the case.”

I snorted, hating your words, “You hated when Hotch said that about Deanna, why is this different?”

You responded, your tone matching mine, looking directly at me. “I’m an adult, she’s 16. I’m an agent with the FBI. I’m going undercover.”

I sighed, sitting, “I don’t like it. What about the kids?”

That was the wrong thing to say. “You think I haven’t thought about that? You think my first thought wasn’t ‘What happens to our children if I get hurt?’ I’m terrified, but I need to do this.”

I closed my eyes, knowing you was right. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know, but you can be on the team assigned to my bar, and you’ll be able to track me.”

I was so close to crying, “What if he notices? What if it goes wrong?”

“It’ll be okay, Spencer, this is routine.” You kissed me, softly.

“I love you,” I leaned on your shoulder, breath shaky.

“I love you too.”

***

I hated taking the bracelet off, I hated the weight around my wrist.

_This is yours, this is our mark that I’m yours._

You pulled me into a kiss, “Be safe, okay?”

I almost laughed at the absurdity of it, “You too. I love you.”

_I don’t want to be wearing this. Take it back, please._

_Come back to me._

***

I ran into the bar, frantically searching for you.

“Spence?” You pulled me aside, “What’s going on, why are you here?”

“He took Emily.” _At least it wasn’t you._ “We need to go, now.”

***

We split up. I went with JJ and Hotch, while you went with Morgan. We found nothing, dust and more nothing.

“Hotch,” your voice came over the radio, echoing down the empty halls, “We found the girls, and Emily, but there’s no sign of the unsub.”

“Got it.” Hotch answered immediately, “Radio medics to your location.”

“I want to go to her,” I looked at Hotch, “Tell me where she is.”

“It’s not safe, we’re going outside. We don’t know where the unsub is.”

“She’s my wife, unsub be damned!” I spat.

“Spencer Reid, out, _now._ ”

***

Before I could process what was going on, Morgan and Emily were running out with two other people, the handed the girls off to the medics. I looked up, a question on my lips, when Morgan slammed me roughly against the nearest car.

“What the hell?” I exclaimed.

His cuffs were out, and around my wrists, and I couldn’t move, the car was locked.

“Morgan, let me out.”

“Can’t do that, pretty boy,” he wouldn’t meet my eyes, “(Y/N)’s orders.”

“On what grounds?” I saw Hotch walking over, and my throat tightened. “Hotch?”

He didn’t answer.

“Get me on a private radio channel with her, _now._ ” I snarled.

***

“(Y/N)? Morgan literally cuffed me to a car, please tell me what’s going on?”

I waited, my heartbeat echoing in my ears.

“I’m here with one of the girls.” You answered, “She’s wired into what I think is a bomb.”

 _No. Oh, no, please._ “Get out of there right now. Get out.”

“No. I am not leaving her alone.” Your voice was firm, “Now either shut up or I will turn my radio off.”

I didn’t want to play my only card left, I really didn’t. “What about Maeve and Tobias? What the fuck do I tell them?”

“We will get home,” You said, as if trying to convince yourself. “And tell them we got the bad guy. Now, Spencer, be quiet.”

I pulled harder on the cuffs, hurting my shoulders, but it didn’t help. No one would tell me what was going on. I heard Hotch talking, checking in with you, but I was stuck on a channel by myself.

I leaned back against the car, numb, begging that you would be safe. I waited, trying to think about your hand in my hair, but it just hurt.

Hotch walked over to me, looking worried, and changed my radio back to the main channel, but there was nothing.

“Reid, what can you tell me about the name Alyss Treaty?” He asked.

_No._

“No,” I whispered, “That’s- Please tell me that’s not her name.”

“Why?”

“Alyss Treaty is- she’s a character from a YA series… The Ranger’s Apprentice. She dies saving a child.” I choked, “Please… please be safe.”

“Rossi, get her earpiece in, now.” Hotch called.

“Agent, please put your earpiece in so we can guide you.” Rossi’s voice was harsh, firm, not like his normal voice. “This is the bomb squad.”

“Roger.” A beat. “What information do you need?”

Hotch looked at me.

“Alyss Treaty doesn’t exist, she’s a book character.” I could barely hold back my tears, “I don’t know who you’re with, but it’s not her.”

“No, all the wires are black. Is there another way to identify them?” Your voice was even.

Hotch spoke, “We didn’t consider the possibility of a female unsub, but it’s possible that’s who you’re with. You need to figure out what she’s hiding.”

“I haven’t found the detonator yet.” You held the ruse, “I’ll radio back as soon as I have.”

“Wait-“ I whispered, and Hotch held out the radio to me. “I love you.”

I knew you couldn’t say it back, but I needed to tell you.

***

We heard the blast, and I screamed until my voice was hoarse, pulling until the skin on my wrists was raw, pleading.

And then two figures emerged from the building, one holding a gun to the other’s head, and-

“No!” I screamed, desperate, “Let her go, please.”

I couldn’t hear what Alyss – or whatever her name was – said to you, but you got on your knees, slowly undoing the bulletproof vest and tossing it aside.

“No, oh, please,” I was kneeling in the dirt, only held up by my arms, “Please, please, you promised, you said you’d come home, please…”

I watched the unsub raise the gun, and I knew it was pointed at your head. I closed my eyes.

“I love you,” I whispered, one last time.

When the gunshot went off, I screamed until I blacked out.

***

I woke up to bright lights, the bouncing of an ambulance.

“Oh, good, you’re awake.” A kind voice said, “We’re almost at the hospital-“

“(Y/N)…” I groaned, “She-“

“She’s already there.”

***

I was in the hospital for two days. I’d made myself almost completely lose my voice from screaming, and there were bandages on my wrists. I hated that, hated what it reminded me of.

Hotch was there when I woke up, dark circles of skin under his eyes, a cup of coffee in hand. “Here, take this.”

I reached for the cup almost without thinking, “What- where is she?”

Hotch hesitated. “She- she’s okay. Well, alive. Well…”

“Aaron…” My voice cracked, “Please just tell me.”

“She got shot in the shoulder, she bled a lot. I shot Alyss- well, Alice, that’s her real name, clean headshot.” He hesitated again, “(Y/N) hasn’t woken up at all, not for more than a few seconds.”

“No.” I whispered, “What about her brain activity? What tests have they run? What-“

“Her brain activity is normal; the doctors think it’s just the amount of adrenaline and stress in her system. You can see her soon.”

***

After a week, I began breaking. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t nap for more than five minutes before I woke up calling your name again.

At one and a half weeks, I couldn’t sleep at all. I overdosed on coffee, refusing to sleep, ignoring the auditory hallucinations. You’d flatlined four separate times, including once since surgery, I couldn’t let that happen while I was asleep.

I called my mom. It wasn’t one of her best days, she kept defocusing, but when I started crying, she focused on me. I told her about the case, about your condition, about how I was desperate for anything.

“I need…” I took a shaky breath, “I need something, anything.”

“You need to pray.” She said, sounding more confident than I’d heard in a while. “I know you remember it, my clever boy, pray for her.”

I did remember the prayers, of course I did.

“It can’t hurt.”

She was right.

So I prayed.

***

The _Mi Shebeirach,_ a Jewish prayer for healing. It was often sung, but I knew the spoken words. I repeated them endlessly, until I whispered the words without even thinking, as I was walking to get coffee, as I walked to the bathroom to change clothes when Hotch made me, the words fell from my lips endlessly.

Two weeks.

It has been two weeks.

I sat in the corner, elbows on my knees, head buried in my hands, praying. The door was closed, I didn’t whisper, I focused on the meaning, truly _praying_ , hoping that if there was some higher power, as unlikely as it was, that they would help.

 _G-d is a trans lesbian,_ you’d joked at one point, _Think about it! The ability to impregnate Mary at a time when ‘virginity’ was only lost between a man and a woman._

I’d argued against it, of course I had, but now that was all I could think of. You’d smiled and laughed, and I just wished I could be there again. I finished the prayer and began again, enunciating the words, hoping.

_If there is some lesbian gd up there, please, just save her. Please._

“Spence,” I thought I heard, “Reid?”

I stopped, standing and dropping to my knees beside the bed, “(Y/N)?”

“Spencer,” you whispered, “Were you praying?”

I hesitated. I could deny it, I could say I was reading out loud in Hebrew, I could blame it on a million other things.

“I didn’t know what else to do, you- you died. I was desperate.” I started crying, reaching for her.

“Spencer,” you shifted towards me, just barely.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” I shushed her, taking her hand, “I’m here.”

“Alyss… what happened… the kids?”

I smiled, despite myself. “You’re safe. That’s all that matters. It’s okay.”

“Spencer… I’m sorry.” Your grip tightened, just a little.

“It’s okay. You’re safe and that’s all that matters.” I managed. Now sleep, I’ll be here.”

You fell asleep, and I ran to find a doctor.

***

“I know you don’t want to, but we need to finish the paperwork for this case.” Hotch said as I sat in your room. “I just need your account of what happened.”

My tone was numb. “We split into groups, I was with you and JJ. We heard that they’d found the captives, and we left the building. Emily and Morgan came out with two of the victims, Morgan cuffed me to the car. He said… he said she’d ordered him to. We heard the bomb go off, and then… they walked out. I watched her kneel, I saw the gun pointed at her head… I heard the gunshot, I screamed and blacked out.”

“Do you remember any of what happened after the gunshots? The bodies?” Hotch asked.

I shook my head.

“Okay, that’s okay.” He closed the folder, “I just needed to confirm.”

“Hotch.” I stopped him before he walked out, not meeting his eyes. “I will never forgive you for not taking the shot a second earlier.”


	59. My Sweet Little Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery.

The gunshot was wrong.

That was the first thought I had.

The gunshot was wrong, it sounded wrong, it echoed too much.

And then there was yelling, so much yelling, but my ears were ringing and everything felt numb but it was so painful and I was flying with the stars and I smiled as it all turned into darkness.

***

Déjà vu.

Fluorescents flashing by above me as I groaned in pain.

Shouting.

Hands covered in blood.

More lights.

A needle.

Why does my skin feel so alive?

My name being called, so many miles away.

I can’t feel my body.

I don’t want to feel my body.

A steady beeping, and everything hurt.

Please tell me this isn’t hell.

Why does it feel so familiar?

***

_FBI! Russel Steele, you’re under arrest!”_

_A crash, and I was chasing after him._

_He’s on the ground, and my gun is pointed at him._

_Suddenly it’s me on the ground and him above me but his face is flashing, becoming hers, the girl we didn’t know about._

_“They’re rescuing the kids now,” she mocked, “You didn’t have to hurt them.”_

_And then, not of my own accord, I said my next words with her, “No one else has to get hurt.”_

***

_I stood alone at the small dais, dressed in the lacy tunic and skirt I’d worn when I collared Spencer. I heard the echoing of footsteps._

_His footsteps were crisp, echoing against the hard floor, as he came into view. Spencer was dressed in a thin white robe, one that covered more than the one he’d worn on our wedding day. His eyes met mine as he approached._

_“Spencer,” I whispered, “What’s going on?”_

_“I warned you,” he sounded detached, “I told you, and I told you again on our wedding day. Today.”_

_“And I told you that I would do anything if it meant saving even one life.”_

_“It’s going to hurt either way, you know,” he ignored me._

_I blinked. “What are my choices?”_

_“The options that there always are. You live or you die.”_

_“You’re not him,” my voice shook, “You’re not Spencer.”_

_“No.” He agreed._

_“Why are you pretending to be him?”_

_“Does this not make you more comfortable?” He asked, “Would you prefer someone else?”_

_“Let me go back to my husband, please. I don’t want to be here.”_

_“It’s so much happier here, though, you can lose all the pain and stay here.”_

_“No.” I stepped down to look him in the eyes, “Let me go back.”_

_“You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”_

***

I couldn’t recognize the words echoing around me, they didn’t even sound like English. They sounded wrong, the wrong sounds, weird syllables, but the voice was familiar.

“Mi shebeirach avoteinu m’kor habrachah l’imoteinu.” That was Spencer’s voice.

That wasn’t English… My mind raced back to my language classes in college, trying to figure out what it was.

He continued, “Mi shebeirach imoteinu m’kor habrachah laavoteinu. HaKadosh Barukh Hu, yimalei rahamim aleha, u-l’hay-otah.” The words flowed out of his mouth fluently, as smooth as his English.

It felt wrong intruding on this, I knew what it was and how desperate he must be. I tried to move, but everything hurt.

“Spence,” I managed to whisper. “Reid?”

He stopped mid-sentence, and I heard him rush towards me. “(Y/N)?”

“Spencer,” I groaned, trying to turn towards him, “Were you praying?”

He was silent. I waited.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” he whispered, “You- you died- I was desperate.”

“Spencer,” I tried to move towards him.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here,” he grabbed my hand, “I’m here.”

“Alyss- what happened… The kids?” I could barely string my words together.

“You’re safe, that’s all that matters,” he kissed my forehead, “It’s okay.”

“Spencer-“ my hand tightened around his, “I’m sorry.”

He kissed me again, “It’s okay, you’re safe and that’s all that matters. Now sleep, I’ll be here.”

***

My dreams echoed with Spencer’s prayers. I remembered now; an old Hebrew prayer for healing. I thought back to our conversation about religion, years ago.

_“Technically, my mother is Jewish,” the memory echoed. “I don’t ever go to synagogue or anything.”_

_“I was desperate.” He’d whispered, “You died.”_

***

Soft voices echoed around me.

“She’s healing well,” a voice said, “I can’t explain why she’s not fully awake.”

“You can’t figure it out? You can’t explain it? What use are you?” That voice… Spencer’s. He was angry.

“Reid!” Hotch’s deep voice echoed, “Sit down and shut up, now.”

“I’m truly sorry, agents-“

“It’s _Doctor._ ” Spencer spat. “ _Doctor_ Spencer Reid.”

“My apologies, Doctor. There’s nothing else we can do except wait.”

I groaned, trying to sit up and say something. “I- wait.”

“Ma’am?” That was the nurse, “Can you hear me?”

I groaned and tried to nod.

“Can you try to open your eyes for me?” she asked.

I tried, my lashes blurring my vision, but I managed to get them partially open.

“You’re doing great,” she encouraged, “I’m going to check your pupils, okay?”

I nodded, barely. I just tried to sit back and let her run the tests, but everything ached. I barely managed to stay awake for half an hour before settling back down.

***

“I know you probably can’t hear me, but I really need to say this. You’ve scared me so much, and I know you’re not going to stop working, but… it scares me so much. You could have let Emily or Derek take care of her. Maeve and Tobias need you, (Y/N). _I_ need you.”

“Spencer,” I said, my voice clearer than before, “Spence.”

“Can you hear me?” He asked, one hand on my cheek, “Baby?”

“I love you, Spencer,” I hummed and leaned into his hand, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he kissed me gently. “You’re okay, that’s what matters.”

“What happened?”

He sighed and I heard the dragging of a chair, and then his hands wrapped around one of mine. “The unsub- Her real name was actually Alice. She brought you outside, you laid down-“ his voice caught. “We had people on the roof, but it was hard to get a clear shot, there was too much of a chance of the bullet going through and hitting you. One of them moved to the building corner… Shot her through the head, but she was angry at you, she screamed and missed your head, hit the muscle between your neck and shoulder.”

“How… how long ago?” I managed.

Spencer stopped, hesitated.

“Spencer, how long?”

“Two and a half weeks. You were in a coma; they couldn’t figure out why. The first time you woke up was two days ago.”

“Shit… Where are the kids?”

“They’re safe, JJ and Will are looking after them.” He hesitated again.

“That’s good,” I muttered, feeling exhaustion wash over me, “I need to- gonna sleep now.”

***

The next morning, I managed to stay awake the entire time the doctor examined me and changed my bandages. I asked her to lower my main medication dosage, as I hated being so unfocused.

When she finished, Spencer walked in, holding my bracelet. “I… I want you to put this on, please.”

I tried to lift my wrist, nodding. “It feels wrong without it.”

He knelt by my bedside and clasped it, kissing my hand.

“How long as it been?” I groaned, shifting a little.

“Two weeks and four days.” He answered. “You’ve been in and out a little, I don’t know how much you remember.”

“You…” I furrowed by eyebrows, trying to remember, “You were praying.”

Spencer nodded. “My mom… I was desperate and she suggested it. It was all I had left.”

“Will… Will and JJ have the kids?” I tried to remember. “You were angry at the nurse…”

“That doesn’t matter now. Yeah, they have the kids.” Spencer leaned down to kiss me, “All that matters is that you’re safe.”

“The team?”

“Everyone is back at Quantico, but Hotch stops by every weekend. It’s Friday, I’ll tell everyone to come tomorrow.”

I nodded, then reached up to take Spencer’s hand. “I love you, Spencer Reid.”

He smiled, but it seemed a little sad. “I love you too.”

***

By the time the team arrived the next day, I was able to stand up for short periods of time and move carefully around my small room. I had to keep my left arm in a sling, so I didn’t make the injury worse, but I didn’t mind too much.

“Don’t strain yourself too much, try to stay sitting down, and remember you can ask for more medication if it’s too painful.” The doctor assured me, “Okay?”

I nodded, “This isn’t my first gunshot wound.”

“I know,” she sighed, “Still be careful, though.”

I sat back and adjusted my arm, waiting. I heard voices down the hall, but the curtains in my room were drawn, so I couldn’t see who was outside. The door opened, and Spencer walked in, smiling.

“You ok?” He asked.

I smiled and nodded, and he opened the door for the rest of the team to walk in. Hotch was the first, pulling me into a gentle hug.

“How are you?” He whispered.

I smiled, “I’m okay. Doing better.”

Garcia was next, careful to not squeeze me too tight.

Rossi kissed my forehead, “It’s good to see you awake and much better, _mi bella_.”

Emily hugged me, “We’re all really glad you’re safe. I’m so sorry I left you.”

“I told you too,” I reminded her, “I made my choice.”

Morgan ruffled my hair, “We’re still your family, newbie.”

I rolled by eyes, “I’m not the newbie still, Derek.”

They all sat and we talked, just catching up.

By the time I had to change my bandages again, I felt more human than I had the entire time I was in the hospital. I had my family.

***

We stood in front of the front door of our house. I took a deep breath and unlocked the door.

JJ was there, holding Tobias on one hip and Maeve on the other. “Hi, lovebirds!”

I almost broke down crying at the sight of my kids – _our_ kids – smiling, so happy to see me.

“JJ…” my voice caught in my throat, “Thank you.” I reached forward, pulling Tobias into my arms. “Hi, my sweet little boy.”

“Mama!” He said happily, wrapping his arms around my neck.

I looked up in shock at JJ, “Did- did he-“

JJ shook her head, “He hasn’t said anything to me.”

“My sweet little baby,” I whispered, wishing I could hold her in both arms. “My sweet little prince.”

***

We put the kids down to bed and stayed up late, just talking. I fell asleep in Spencer’s arms, listening to his heartbeat as his hand ran down my back. As I slept, his voice echoed in my ears.

_I know you’re not going to stop working but… it scared me so much._

_I need you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I promise next chapter will be smut but I had to finish this arc. Hope you enjoy!


	60. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Spencer fuck.  
> Is this to make up for the emotional angst of the last several chapters?  
> Yes, yes it is.

I hated the healing process, hated the twinges of pain and the changes of bandages, hated how long it took, hated that I couldn’t pick up both of my children. Finally, I was down to just tape and bandages on my shoulder. I had almost a full range of movement, although it was worse in the morning or when I was tired.

One weekend morning, I decided to ignore Spencer’s constant insistence that we shouldn’t have sex yet. I was _horny_ , dammit, and I know my limits, and fuck the rules. I dealt with that after the first time I was shot and after giving birth. Not again, no thank you.

Spencer was still asleep, breathing softly as I pulled back the covers enough to reveal his boxers and push them down.

That was all he’d been sleeping in, while I chose to wear thin tank tops instead. We both needed the skin contact.

I started slowly stroking Spencer, reaching up to play with his nipple as I loved, careful not to move fast enough to wake him up. He quickly became hard and I began teasing, rubbing my thumb over his tip, spreading the beading precum.

“Fuck,” Spencer moaned.

I looked up in surprise, but Spencer’s eyes were still closed, his arms unmoving. I realized he thought it was a dream.

“Oh, this will be fun,” I hummed.

I moved my hand from his nipple, instead ghosting my fingers over his lops, careful not to push him.

“Stop,” he muttered, “Stop teasing.”

I didn’t, continuing to run two fingers over his lips.

“Please- please, Daddy, I want to make you feel good- please,” Spencer begged, opening his mouth.

I smiled and pushed two fingers into his mouth, letting him set the pace as I continued stroking, a little faster now.

Spencer pulled back from my fingers, “Ma’am… Ma’am, please, please ride me, use my pathetic cock, please.”

That caught me off guard, but he didn’t stop.

“I’m your pathetic little fucktoy, please use me, please let me fill you, oh, fuck, please.”

I shivered at his dirty words as I shifted, straddling him, grinding against his cock, pushing my fingers against his mouth just a little. He took the hint and began sucking eagerly. I lifted myself and slowly lowered onto Spencer’s cock, gently fucking myself.

Spencer sucked harder, swallowing around my fingers. I began to move faster, left hand gently working my clit.

“Spence,” I whispered, “So good for me.”

He moaned around my fingers, sucking harder.

Out of habit, I asked, “Color?”

He tapped the bed three times. I raised an eyebrow and looked at him closely, but his eyes didn’t move, he still seemed completely asleep. I pulled my fingers out of his mouth. Spencer groaned and moved a little as if to follow them.

“Hotch- Daddy- please.”

I froze. Well, that wasn’t what I expected.

“Mistress,” Spencer moaned, “Daddy, please use me.”

I began riding him as my thoughts raced. Dreams aren’t always expressions of something the person really wants, I knew Spencer may not see Hotch that way. It might be a conflation in his dream.

“Mistress, please,” Spencer sounded desperate, “Please, I want to cum in you, please, I want it so bad.”

“Cum for me,” I whispered, my own orgasm overtaking me as he thrusted up, “My good fucktoy.”

As I came down from my orgasm, I moved away carefully and gently, watching Spencer carefully.

Spencer moaned, “Daddy, I- I wanna swallow your cum.”

Thinking quickly, I pushed two fingers inside myself, coating them with the combination of mine and Spencer’s arousal before pushing them against Spencer’s tongue. He eagerly took them deep, moaning as he swallowed.

“Thank you,” he whispered, then turned over.

“Spence,” I whispered, moving to curl around him, “Baby?”

He didn’t respond, breathing still even, eyes delicately shut.

I shrugged and wrapped around him, falling back asleep.

***

When I woke up again, Spencer wasn’t there. I got up and pulled on an old sweater of Spencer’s, slowly walking to the kitchen.

Spencer was there, already drinking coffee, “Morning.”

“Hey you,” I smiled and kissed him, “Sleep well?”

He hummed and nodded, passing me a cup, “Some nice dreams.”

I feigned ignorance, “Ooh, like what?” I took a sip, eyes trained on his.

Spencer blushed, “Uh- there was one-“

“Mama!” I heard from the nursery, “Mamaaaaaa!!!”

I laughed, “Tell me later?”

He kissed me, “As you wish. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

“JJ agreed to take the kids for the night,” Spencer wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck, “So we can have some time alone. She’ll be here in an hour.”

I hummed and tilted my head back to kiss him, “Does that mean I get to hear about your dream?”

He blushed, “I’m taking you out to dinner, but maybe after I have a glass of wine.”

“Deal,” I kissed him. “Do I get to know where we’re going?”

He shook his head, “Nope, I’m picking your outfit and blindfolding you until we get there.”

I turned and wrapped my arms around him, “Taking control, huh?”

“Just for you, ma’am,” he hummed, kissing me. “Oh, you forgot something, by the way.”

I raised an eyebrow, “What could I have forgotten?”

“If you haven’t figured it out by the end of dinner tonight, I’ll tell you.” He smiled and kissed me.

“Oh, that’s mean!”

***

Spencer refused to let me into the bedroom until the outfits were set out, and I wasn’t allowed to even see my outfit until we arrived at the venue. I sighed as he walked out in only his boxers, holding out a silk blindfold. I sighed and put it on, letting Spencer lead me into the bedroom. He guided me into… a dress, I realized, clasped a necklace around my neck, put in earrings, and sat me down so he could slip on heels.

“Stay there, I’m going to get dressed now,” he told me, hand brushing over mine.

I nodded, relaxing as I heard Spencer humming softly. Once he was dressed, he placed a purse on my lap, “That’s both of your phones.”

“Thank you, Spencer,” I smiled, taking his hand and slowly rising to my feet, “Are we ready?”

“We’re ready,” Spencer guided me out the door and I heard him lock it before helping me into the car. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, “I don’t like not being in control, you know that."

I could hear the smile in his voice, “Yeah, I know. But you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” I nodded, “Just weird being in this position.”

I felt Spencer’s hand on my thigh, “Just another couple minutes, we’ll be there soon.”

I nodded, closing my eyes behind the blindfold, running my hands over the beads of my purse to comfort myself. I felt Spencer pull into a parking space and heard the car turn off. Spencer unbuckled himself, I heard the door open, then close, then my door opened.

“My lady,” I felt his hand on mine and heard the smile in his voice, “We have arrived.”

“Don’t I get to take it off?” I whined, fiddling with the blindfold.

“Not quite yet,” he helped me out of the car, guiding me inside. “Close your eyes, I’m going to take the blindfold off now.”

I nodded, closing my eyes as I felt him move the fabric away. The light was warm and soft, so I slowly opened my eyes, looking around.

“Holy… Spence,” I whispered, “This is so fancy.”

The waiters were in tuxedos, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, an ice sculpture in the middle of the room. I looked down to my dress to see the same dress I’d worn when we got engaged, a floor-length sparkly blue dress with fabric draping over one shoulder. Spencer was wearing a formal suit, collar displayed proudly.

“Good evening, do you have a reservation?” The host walked up to us.

“Yes,” Spencer immediately answered, “Reservation for 2 under Dr. Spencer Reid.”

The host looked down at the tablet he was holding, “Ah, yes, I see your table. You reserved a booth, sir?”

“That’s right.”

“Perfect. Follow me, please.” He began walking, Spencer taking my hand and leading me behind him. He stopped at a slightly raised booth, “Here you are.”

Spencer guided me into my seat before sitting across from me, “Please knock before you part the curtain, please.”

“As you wish, Sir,” he nodded, drawing the thick curtain in front of the booth.

I spotted a bottle of wine at the end of the table with two glasses. My eyes widened as I looked at the label, “Holy shit, Spencer, this is so fancy,” I whispered, “How long have you had this planned?”

“Almost two months,” he smiled, “I… may have asked JJ to make sure no cases overlapped if at all possible.”

“What- what am I forgetting?” I racked my brain, “I can’t think of anything.”

Spencer just smiled, “Let’s just enjoy dinner.”

He poured the glasses and handed one to me, raising his glass, “To us.”

“To us,” I repeated, tapping his glass with mine before taking a sip.

Spencer took a drink, then placed his glass down and looked up at me, “You’re going to go to the bathroom, it’s in the left corner if you’re looking from the door. Take your purse with you, there’s something in there I want you to put in. Take off your underwear and hand it to me when you return, you have to hold it. Not in your purse.”

My eyes widened, “Are you serious, Spence?”

He raised his eyebrows, “Color?”

I sighed, “Green.” I grabbed my purse and walked to the bathroom, confirming the location with a waitress (though of course Spencer was right).

I ducked into one of the stalls, slipping my panties off before finding the toy Spencer has tucked in there. Just simple Kegel balls and a small tube of lube. I knew I didn’t need the lube, s] I quickly pushed the toy inside of myself, washed my hands, and tucked my panties into my fist before walking back to the booth. I had to keep my pelvic muscles tight but managed to keep my face straight and walk normally.

I brushed Spencer’s hand with mine, dropping the panties onto his fingers before slipping into the booth, tucking the dress under my legs, and closing the curtain.

“You didn’t use the lube, did you?” He looked up at me, “You were already aroused enough.”

“Shut up,” I muttered.

“What was that?” He asked, tone falsely light.

_Okay, Spencer, let’s play._

“I told you to shut up like the little slut you are before I lock you in a chastity cage,” I growled, leaning forward. “You heard me.”

Spencer’s eyes flashed, “Oh, we’re playing that game, huh?”

“I guess we are,” I smiled.

I could see Spencer’s hands moving beneath the table, and I knew he was playing with my panties. I took my wine and sat back, sipping as he talked, mainly ignoring the Kegel balls.

“You’re getting bored,” he noted, eyes searching mine, “Aren’t you?”

I shrugged, “Just thinking about you getting on your knees and making your Mistress feel good.”

His eyes flashed, “Oh, you think I’d be the one on my knees?”

“I don’t see why not,” I smiled.

“Fine.” I saw Spencer’s hand move beneath the table.

I gasped and pushed my knees together as the Kegel balls began vibrating.

“How’s that for more interesting?” He smirked at me.

I groaned and clenched around the toy, “Certainly more engaging.”

Just then, there was a knock right outside the booth.

“Yes?” Spencer asked.

“We’ve got your appetizers, Sir,” The waiter said.

Spencer reached forward and pulled back the curtain, allowing the plates to be placed on the table, smiling and thanking the servers. When they walked away, I raised an eyebrow at Spencer.

“We hadn’t ordered, did you set all this up?” I asked.

He nodded, “Set the menu when I made the reservation.”

I sighed, but smiled, “You’re adorable, Spence.”

He turned the vibrator up.

***

By the end of dinner, I was shaking, nails digging into my thighs. Spencer was smiling, leaned back against the seat, enjoying my struggle, but I refused to give in.

“Do you have room for dessert?” He asked.

I smiled, “of course, darling.”

***

I could barely stand up as we got ready to leave the restaurant.

“Spence,” I groaned, “Turn it off until we get to the car.”

He raised an eyebrow at me, “Ask nicely.”

I dug my nails into my hands and met his eyes, “Turn it off, now.”

I watched his eyes flash with the urge to submit for a split second.

“Spencer,” I growled, “Turn it off now.” I leaned over the table, reaching up to grab his collar.

Spencer’s hand flew up, catching my arm. “No. Now get your purse and leave the restaurant without another word.”

I stayed silent the entire way home, resisting the urge to grind against the seat or Spencer’s hand, which slowly trailed up and down my thigh. As soon as we got through the door, I grabbed Spencer and pulled him close to me, tangling one hand in his hair.

“You fucking tease,” I growled.

He smiled against my lips and pinned me to the closest wall, “You know you love it.” He pushed one thigh between my legs.

I ground down against it, almost unconsciously, and moaned. “Fuck you.”

“What was that?” He growled and gripped my throat, “Say that again.”

I looked up, “Fuck you.” I smiled as his eyes darkened.

“Whore.” Spencer grabbed my wrists, pinning them behind me before pulling me backwards.

I could barely see; the lights were still off, and I was amazed Spencer knew where we were going.

“Close your eyes,” he muttered in my ear, “I’m going to turn on the lights.”

I obeyed, feeling the light hit my eyes. Giving me no time, Spencer shoved me forward. Something hit me in the stomach, and I folded forward, gasping, feeling Spencer’s hand leave my wrists.

“Color?” Spencer’s voice was behind me.

“Green.”

“Good.” He shoved my skirt up and kicked my legs apart, “You’re so fucking wet for me, baby.”

I moaned as his fingers brushed over my clit, “You- made me- fuck, you made me sensitive, Sir.”

He hummed, “I know I did. Relax baby, I’m going to take the toy out now.”

I took a deep breath, letting my muscles relax, feeling Spencer gently slip the toy out.

Spencer kissed down my neck and shoulders, hands rubbing the tension out of my shoulders, grinding against my ass.

“Sir,” I whispered, “I want you inside of me.”

He hummed and kissed my cheek, “Whatever you want, darling.”

He pulled back, I heard movement, then I felt him grinding against me.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so good for me,” he groaned.

“Please,” I gasped.

He pushed inside of me and we both moaned, my hands digging into the fabric of the bed, Spencer setting a fast pace against me.

“I’m- I’m not going to last long,” I managed, “Feels so good, oh, fuck.”

“I’ve been hard watching you struggle all night,” Spencer’s mouth was against my ear, “You’re not as quiet as you think you are, when I turn up the vibe and you know your arousal is all over your seat.”

“Just for you,” I smiled.

“I wanted to have you on your knees and sucking me off, I was so fucking tempted to order you to let me fuck your throat right there.”

I couldn’t manage words, I just moaned.

“Cum around my cock,” he ordered. “Cum.”

Every muscle in my body tightened and I almost screamed into the mattress. I gasped and panted, clenching around Spencer, moaning.

“Fuck, so good, such a good slut,” he muttered, pulling out of me, “Turn around, get on your knees.”

I scrambled to obey, pushing myself up, dropping to my knees as I leaned back against the bed to support myself, looking up to meet Spencer’s eyes as he stroked himself.

“Go on, make me cum,” he grabbed my hair and pushed into my mouth.

I moved quickly, working him with one hand, still moaning.

“I’m about to cum, fuck-“ Spencer managed, pushing me down onto his cock.

I moaned and dropped my jaw, continuing to pump him as he came, still looking up at Spencer, waiting until he was done before I swallowed, smiling.

“Fuck, baby.” He panted and smiled down at me, “That was- fuck.”

I struggled back up onto the bed, falling onto my back, panting and smiling.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked, sitting beside me.

I nodded, “You absolute fucking tease.”

He hummed and leaned down to kiss me, “I’m going to get a towel, okay?”

I nodded.

I felt his weight leave the bed as I let my eyes drift close, hearing the footsteps around me.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Spencer asked.

“Floating,” I muttered, “Feels good.”

I defocused a little, curling into Spencer’s arms as he helped me clean off, helped me into a shirt, and tucked us both in.

“Good night,” he kissed my head.

I tried to answer, but I was already so tired, I couldn’t, so I just smiled as I drifted off.


	61. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dream becomes reality.

“Morning,” Spencer hummed, rolling over to kiss me.

I smiled and kissed him, “Hey, cutie.”

He pulled me close to his chest, kissing down my cheek and neck.

“Spence,” I muttered, “I have a question.”

“Hmm?” He didn’t stop moving.

“What-“ My breath caught as he bit behind my ear, “What did I forget yesterday?”

He laughed and pulled me closer, lips brushing my ear. “What-“ he stuttered, as if he was nervous, “What are you up to this weekend?”

“Oh, shit!” I buried my head in my hands, “Our anniversary.”

“Only sort of, it’s just the first time we had intercourse,” he laughed again, “But yeah, that’s why I wanted yesterday to be special.”

I turned to face him, smiling as we kissed, “You’re adorable.”

He shook his head, “That’s you.”

“You,” I muttered against his lips. “Oh, I have another question.”

“Ask away.”

I drifted my fingers up his arm, “Are you going to tell me about your dream?”

He blushed bright red.

“Why so embarrassed, hm?” I teased, “Was it inspiration for last night’s dinner?”

Spencer shook his head, “I- no…”

“So what was it?”

He looked down, and I waited. “I was thinking about you…”

“Me doing what?” I ran my nails down his arm lightly, making him shiver.

“Fuck,” he whispered, “It was you and Hotch… You were fucking my ass and stroking me and Hotch was fucking my throat and… you called me your pathetic little fucktoy.”

“Is that something you want, baby?”

Spencer bit his lip, “Yes, Ma’am.”

I smiled and pulled him closer with his collar, “So why don’t you text Hotch and tell him what you want?”

“Do I have to?”

I raised an eyebrow, “Color, baby?”

“Green,” he answered immediately, “It’s just embarrassing.”

“I’ll feed the kids. Be detailed, darling.” I kissed his cheek and got out of bed, smiling.

***

“Spencer Reid, I am absolutely blaming you for the fact that these children are practically busting out full sentences already,” I muttered in his ear as I bounced Tobias on my hip.

“Uh-oh, mama’s mad,” he whispered to Maeve, “You should hug her.”

“HUG!” Maeve screamed, holding out her arms to me.

I almost cursed but caught myself. No way, these children are not learning that this early in life.

“Sure baby, c’mere, give mama a hug,” I smiled, setting Tobias down so I could hug Maeve. “Spence, can you get me another cup of coffee?”

“Of course, darling,” he kissed me.

“Okay, when dad comes back, you have to attack his legs,” I knelt down to tell Tobias too, before setting them both down. “Koala!”

They understood that much. As soon as Spencer walked in, holding the coffee in a spill-proof mug, they ran for his legs, each grabbing onto one ankle. I fell back laughing as he stumbled to maintain balance.

“How dare you,” he laughed as I stood and took my coffee, “You used me!”

I hummed and nodded, “Yeah, but it was funny.”

I kissed Spencer, and he responded by putting one hand gently on my cheek, holding me close.

“Icky!” The twins chorused.

I laughed, “Did Jenna tell you to say that?”

They both shook their heads innocently, but I knew better.

**_Message to: Stripper Chick ;)  
_ ** **Brat.**

***

**_Message from: Bossman  
_ ** **I’m assuming you’re aware of the message Spencer sent me?**

**_Message to: Bossman  
_ ** **I didn’t see it specifically, but I told him to tell you about his dream, yes. Thoughts?**

“Do you want another cup of coffee?” Spencer called from the kitchen.

I put my phone back down on the bathroom counter and poked my head out the door, “Yes, please.” I ducked back in, quickly putting up my hair in a ponytail.

“Mama!”

I looked down to see Tobias walking into the bathroom, holding onto the cabinet handles for support. I reached down to pick him up, tucking my phone in a pocket and walking out to the kitchen. Spencer had Maeve on his shoulders as she gripped his hair, carefully sipping coffee.

“Aaron texted me,” I said casually as I picked up the coffee, “He’s curious about the text you sent yesterday.”

Spencer blushed a little, “Anything interesting?”

“Not yet, I’ll keep you in the loop.” I leaned over the counter to kiss him, then looked up at Maeve. “Has your dad given you breakfast?”

“Bekfas!” She nodded, smiling.

“Maeve, it’s _breakfast_ , you forgot the _r_ and _t_ sounds.” Spencer sighed, “We talked about this.”

“Spencer, they’re not even a year old. Calm down.” I laughed, “Speaking of that, we need to figure out if we’re going to have a party.”

“I’ll talk to JJ about cases, it might just have to depend on when we’re home.”

My phone buzzed and I took it out, shifting Tobias so I could read the message.

**_Message from: Bossman  
_ ** **Can I have you two over for dinner? We need to talk.**

I silently passed the phone to Spencer, raising my eyebrows.

“Text Jenna,” he said, “Or I will. Figure out a night we can make it work.”

“Ani Enna?” Tobias asked.

I laughed at Spencer’s exasperated expression. “You know _t_ and _j_ sounds are difficult, calm down.”

**_Message to: Bossman  
_ ** **I’ll figure out when we can get a babysitter.**

**_Message from: Bossman  
_ ** **I’m going to need to make another list.**

**_Message to: Bossman  
_ ** **Take your time.**

***

“We need to talk about your dream,” I said as Spencer and I got ready for bed. “I know more than I told you.”

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, turning to me as I pulled on an old sweater of his. “You look adorable, by the way.”

I smiled, “Thank you. I actually woke up in the middle of your dream, realized what was going on, and… Well, you actually came inside me.”

Spencer’s face when from its normal shade to tomato red as my sentence finished, and I couldn’t help but bite back laughter at his embarrassed face.

“Oh. Uh… That- That means you heard what I wanted to call Hotch.”

Honestly, I’d expected him to be mad I’d done something; we both liked waking the other up to sex, sure, but this was different.

“Yes, I did.” I said slowly.

“Well… Surprise?” He laughed, “I thought I’d bring that up at dinner, but I guess not.”

I smiled at his nervous tone. “Spence… are you sure you’re okay with what I did?”

“What, riding me while I was asleep?” He looked surprised, “Honestly, it’s arousing.”

Only Spencer Reid could make the word ‘arousing’ sound sexy.

“I trust you, and that doesn’t bother me.” His eyes met mine. “I love you.”

I smiled, “I love you too.”

***

“Are you sure you’re okay that we might be out late?” I double-checked with Jenna and Elle as I put my shoes on. “We can cut it short if you want to get home.”

“It’s okay, really,” Jenna assured me.

Elle nodded, “They’ll be safe with us.”

I knelt down to kiss Maeve and Tobias, “Be good, okay?”

They both smiled mischievously, making me sigh.

“I love you both so much,” I pulled them into a hug.

We drove to Hotch’s house quietly. Before we got out, I pulled Spencer into a kiss, tangling one hand in his hair, then we walked to the door.

“Don’t forget, you can always use our safeword,” I reminded Spencer as I rang the doorbell.

Hotch was clearly near the door, because it swung open only a few seconds later. He smiled, welcoming us in and pulling me into a hug.

“How are you?” He hugged me, careful to avoid my wound.

I smiled, “We’re good, it’s nice to have a night off. You?”

“Pretty much the same. How are you healing?” He asked, hugging Spencer.

“As much as Spencer would like to insist that I’m still healing, I’m basically okay, just a bit of scar tissue on my shoulder.” I shrugged.

We sat down for dinner, mostly just exchanging small talk and laughing together, enjoying the time alone. As we helped clear plates after dinner, I figured it was time to push things forward a little bit. As we walked back to the dining room, I grabbed Spencer’s collar, pulling him into a deep kiss, knowing Hotch was right behind us. When I decided I’d done enough, I pulled back and released Spencer, continuing walking as if nothing had happened.

“You’re a fucking tease, you know that?” Hotch muttered behind me.

I sat and looked at him, winking. “Oh, I am fully aware.”

“So, Spencer,” Hotch sat, leaning back in his chair, “Did you show her exactly what you sent me?”

I shook my head, “He didn’t show me, no, but I was the one who told him to text you after he told me what the dream was about.”

“Show her the message.” Hotch ordered Spencer.

Immediately, Spencer pulled his phone out and passed it to me. I looked at it, seeing the expected (several-paragraph-long) message detailing the dream, but then…

**_Message to: AH  
_ ** **One video.**

I tapped on the video and it began to play. It showed Spencer, on his knees, fucking his throat with a dildo, eyes never leaving the camera. It was only a few seconds long, but _holy shit._

“When did you take that?” I asked.

“You were pumping,” Spencer mumbled, “You were in the living room after feeding the kids, you were pumping so I knew you’d be occupied for a while, and I wanted to be a tease.”

“What a whore,” I passed the phone back and looked up at Hotch, “Well, it seems like my little pet has already decided what he wants to do this evening while we discuss the scene.”

Hotch smiled, “It would certainly appear so.”

“Spencer, get on your knees in front of him, now.”

Reid scrambled to obey, dropping onto his knees and spreading his legs, eyes trained on the ground.

“Now tell Aaron what you were calling him in your dream.” I smiled, “Since you neglected to mention that in your message.”

Hotch looked up at me, raising an eyebrow.

“I- in my dream...” Spencer stumbled over his words, then spoke quickly. “Iwanttocallyoudaddy.”

“What was that?” Hotch tangled his hand in Reid’s hair, making the younger man look up at him. “Speak clearly.”

Spencer whimpered, “I want to… I want to call you Daddy.”

“Fuck,” Aaron groaned, “Do you know how sexy that is, coming from that pretty little mouth of yours?”

Spencer just whimpered.

“Start sucking your Daddy off, pet, we have other things to discuss.” Hotch said, one hand already undoing his belt.

***

Spencer’s description of his dream was detailed enough that there wasn’t much to discuss, but we agreed it was better at our house, on a different night.

“Remember, you can safeword or tap out whenever you need to.” I told Spencer as I laced up his arms and tied up the rope. “You always have that right.”

“I know, Ma’am, thank you.” Spencer confirmed.

“And you’re sure about your limits?” I checked for the umpteenth time that night.

“I’m sure.”

I finished the rigging and moved off the bed, kissing Spencer’s cheek. “Good little slut.”

I pulled out my phone, taking a picture. Spencer was on his knees, arms pulled up behind him, head bent down, back to the door.

**_Message to: Bossman  
_ ** **One attachment.  
Waiting for you.**

“Oh, one more thing.” I grabbed a vibrating plug and pushed it slowly into Spencer’s ass, making him moan. “Enjoy.”

**_Message to: Bossman  
_ ** **It’s in ;)**

I took a position in a chair in the corner of the room, waiting. I’d decided against dressing up, going instead for a loose shirt and shorts without underwear, ensuring I had easy access to myself.

**_Message from: Bossman  
_ ** **On my way now.**

Less than a second later, Spencer started moaning, trying to shift, but he couldn’t.

“Aww, is something wrong, little pet?” I asked innocently.

“Fuck,” he whined, “I- fuck, turn it down, please, Mistress.”

I smiled, “Oh, honey, I’m not the one controlling it.”

“What- oh- fuck,” Spencer stuttered.

I sat back, waiting, enjoying Spencer’s moans. By the time Hotch told me he was at the house, Spencer was whining and moaning, shaking with pleasure.

**_Message to: Bossman  
_ ** **Door is unlocked.**

I couldn’t hear the door open over the sound of Spencer’s moans, but I heard the soft footsteps coming down the hall. I watched Hotch enter the bedroom and lean against the door, phone in hand, watching Spencer carefully.

“You’ve got a well-trained little slut, Mistress,” he looked at me, smiling, “He looks so pretty all tied up.”

“Daddy,” Spencer moaned, just reacting to the sound of his voice, “Daddy… please, it’s so much.”

“What do you want, hmm?” He asked.

Spencer whined, “I- fuck, I want to pleasure you.”

I stood, walking over to Spencer, pushing one finger against the base of the plug. “Ask nicely.”

“Ah- please, Mistress, please use me,” Spencer was stumbling over his words, “I- I just want to be good, want to be full for you, want to make you feel good, please use me, use your little fucktoy, please.”

I heard the plug turn off. I smiled and looked back at Hotch, noticing the bulge in his pants. Moving my hand away from Spencer, I beckoned Aaron forward, biting and kissing down his neck as I unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and onto the floor. Hotch’s hands went to my hips, tugging at my shirt, but he looked up for permission. I nodded, moving back and raising my arms. He pulled the shirt off and tossed it aside, leaning down to tease one nipple with his tongue.

I groaned, “Fuck, Hotch, we’re supposed to be teasing Spence.”

Hotch chuckled, a deep vibration that did _not_ help my arousal. “Does him hearing you not count as teasing, Ma’am?”

I couldn’t argue with that, so instead I leaned back against the bedpost and let Hotch suck and bite at my nipples. Spencer had to crane his neck to see us, and he whined in displeasure.

“Is there something you want?” I asked sharply, pulling Hotch away from me. “Use your words, whore.”

“It’s hard to see you.” He whined.

“Oh, what a bummer, we better put on a show.” I grabbed Hotch and pulled him close again, eyes meeting his as our lips drew closer.

“I want this.” Aaron assured me, seeing my hesitation.

That was all the encouragement I needed. I pulled him into a deep kiss, one hand bracing us against the bedpost. Hotch’s lips were a little chapped, but I stopped thinking about that as soon as his tongue swept gently across my lips, asking a silent question. I hummed in pleasure and arousal as he pulled me closer, allowing me to push his pants and boxers down, gently stroking his cock. I heard Spencer moan behind me and smiled.

“I think he likes it,” I murmured against Hotch’s lips.

Hotch hummed in agreement, grinding into my hand a little, “He’s not the only one.”

I smiled and took Aaron’s hand, pushing him back onto the bed in front of Spencer, straddling him. “My toys.” I kissed Aaron again, enjoying Spencer’s whimpering moan.

“Mistress,” Spencer whined, “Please, please let Daddy fuck my throat.”

I pulled back and raised an eyebrow at Hotch, “Do you think the little toy deserves your cock?”

Aaron placed his hand under Spencer’s chin as he settled back against the headboard. “He wants it so badly he’s practically drooling for me.”

“Please, please, Daddy, please fuck my throat,” Spencer gasped, “I’ll be so good for you, I just want to be your toy-“

“Toys don’t speak.” Hotch cut him off sharply. “Unless ordered to.” His eyes flickered up to me, making sure he wasn’t crossing a line, but I just smiled.

“Use the fucktoy like the little whore he is,” I smiled.

Spencer immediately dropped his jaw, watching Aaron stroke himself gently.

“Go on, beg for my cock.” Hotch ordered.

 _Oh, fuck, that was hot._ Dominant Hotch, his eyes alight with power, voice leaving no room for argument, was undeniably sexy.

“Please, Daddy, please let me suck your dick, please, please, use my throat, use my mouth, let me be your toy, please, please fuck my mouth.” Spencer immediately obeyed.

Hotch pushed his fingers through Spencer’s hair, forming a fist at the back of his head, pulling him down. Spencer didn’t even try to tease Hotch, letting him take full control. I smiled and watched, Hotch’s head pushed back against the headboard, eyes shut. This was different than when Spencer had sucked him off before; now, Aaron wasn’t afraid to be rough, take what he wanted from Spencer.

“Enjoying yourself?” I asked, smiling at Hotch.

He opened his eyes, smiling, “Fucking hell, do you even have to ask?”

I smiled and climbed onto the bed, running my nails up the back of Spencer’s thighs. He moaned around Hotch, only becoming louder when I passed over his ass, pushing on the plug.

“I could cum just from that,” Hotch muttered, “Holy shit.”

I smiled as I got off the bed, pulling out a strap, grabbing icy-hot lube. I ran one hand up and down Spencer’s back to relax him as I began slowly pulling the plug out. Hotch slowed down as well, giving Spencer the opportunity to breathe, allowing me to pull the plug the rest of the way out.

“Good little slut,” I praised. “Color?”

Spencer hummed happily at the praise and tapped the bed three times. Hotch pulled him back down, groaning with pleasure as Spencer pushed himself down, gagging a little. I circled Spencer’s asshole with one finger, slowly pouring lube onto my finger. As soon as the lube began working, Spencer moaned and pushed back against me.

“Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop,” Aaron gasped.

I pushed two fingers inside Spencer, curling my fingers against his prostate, making Spencer moan even louder. I added another finger and more lube, making sure Spencer was ready before I pulled my fingers out and lubed up the strap.

“Hey, Aaron,” I looked up at him, “You might want to put a pillow behind your head.”

I’d noticed how much he moved his head and knew that Spencer would moan and become even more eager – Reid knew he couldn’t cum until we both had. Hotch nodded and shifted, putting a pillow behind him to support his back and head. As soon as he was comfortable, I pushed inside Spencer, hands digging into his hips.

Spencer moaned loudly, shoulders tensing, pulling against the ropes.

“Fucking hell,” Aaron groaned, “So good for me.”

I set a bruising pace, fucking Spencer quickly, shoving him forward. Spencer went limp with pleasure, weight resting on the ropes, letting Hotch and I use him.

“I’m not going to last long,” Hotch managed between heavy breaths.

“Such a good little fucktoy, pleasuring your daddy.” I praised. “Are you going to swallow for him?”

Spencer couldn’t answer but moaned and tapped the bed three times. I didn’t slow down, but became a little gentler, letting Aaron control Spencer’s movements.

“So good- fuck- so close.” Hotch was panting, hips bucking up into Spencer’s throat, eyes locked on him. “Oh fuck- I’m about to- fuck!” Hotch’s hand tightened in Spencer’s hair, his eyes screwed shut, and he pushed Spencer down, hips bucking as he came.

I stopped, letting Hotch finish, watching Spencer gently suck him off. When Aaron pulled him off, Spencer swallowed, looking Hotch in the eyes as he did. Hotch groaned at the sight, running his finger over Spencer’s lips.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy,” Hotch murmured, “Such a pretty little slut.”

Spencer preened at the praise. As he did, Aaron reached down, beginning to slowly stroke Spencer. Spencer moaned, but it was cut off when Aaron pulled him into a kiss, one hand lightly wrapped around the younger man’s throat. Hotch was at a bit of an awkward angle, but he didn’t seem to care.

Hotch looked up at me, “Go on, fuck his ass, make him fuck my hand.”

“With pleasure,” I pulled Hotch into a quick kiss, then started moving again.

Spencer’s hips bucked forward, thrusting into Hotch’s hand as they kissed. Hotch choked Spencer lightly, making him moan even louder.

“He’s getting close,” Aaron told me, “The pathetic little fucktoy is desperate.”

Spencer moaned at his dirty words.

“Has he earned it, do you think?” I asked, keeping the same pace.

Hotch smiled as Spencer choked out a moan.

“Please, please let me cum, fuck, I want it so bad,” He moaned, “I’ve been so good, please.”

I looked at Hotch, silently signaling this was his choice. He smiled, pulling Spencer’s head back and biting his neck.

“Cum for us.” Hotch growled.

That was all it took. I pulled Spencer back against me, grinding against his ass as he moaned, cum covering Hotch’s hand and chest. Spencer twitched a few times, then relaxed, sagging against the ropes. I pulled out, carefully climbing off the bed and pulling the strap off.

“So good for us,” I heard Hotch saying, “You did so well.”

“Hey, baby?” I asked, rubbing Spencer’s back.

“Hm?” He looked up a little.

“Do you want me to untie you?” I asked, running my hands along the ropes, “It’s up to you, baby.”

Spencer thought for a second, “I won’t just fall down?”

“No, baby, Daddy will hold you, you won’t fall.” I said, glancing at Hotch to confirm.

“I’ll hold you, you’ll be safe,” Hotch agreed, “But if you want to stay like that for a bit, it’s okay.”

“Untie me?” He muttered, “Please?”

I helped Hotch shift Spencer into a more comfortable position, making sure none of his weight was on the ropes, and worked quickly to undo the ropes, taking them off his arms before carefully removing them from the hook on the ceiling, tossing them to the side. Hotch had already shifted back down, letting Spencer lay on his chest. I smiled and laid down with them, smiling at Spencer curling up and smiling.

“Our good little baby,” I praised, “I’m so proud of you, you did so well for us.”

“Thank you, Ma’am,” he murmured.

Hotch smiled at me as I pulled sheets over us, suddenly becoming self-conscious. I grabbed one of Spencer’s sweaters and pulled on, offering to move Spencer into my arms. Hotch shifted and moved Spencer so he was curled up against me, then found a towel, wiping himself off and pulling on boxers before getting back under the sheets.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” I asked.

Spencer looked up and over his shoulder, “Please?”

Hotch was surprised by his request, but nodded. “That would be nice.”

We all relaxed, Spencer turning to push his butt against me, facing Hotch, who smiled and caressed his cheek gently.

“Oh, shit!” Spencer tried to sit up but couldn’t. “You didn’t cum!”

I smiled, “It’s okay, baby, you can relax.”

“But-“ he pouted, “You should feel good.”

I shrugged, “It’s not a big deal.”

Spencer thought for a second, then leaned forward to whisper in Hotch’s ear. I raised an eyebrow and met Aaron’s eyes, but he just smiled.

“Okay, in the morning.” Hotch kissed Spencer’s forehead.

Spencer fell asleep quickly, leaving Hotch and I awake.

“Even after that, you have issues sleeping?” I teased.

“Always.” He shrugged, “I’m used to it.”

“Are you sure everything we did tonight was okay?”

We both knew I was talking about the kissing, even if I didn’t say it.

He nodded, “I’m sure. I respect your relationship, and I can separate myself from this.”

“If you ever need to talk about it…” I hesitated, “We’ve been seeing a therapist, she knows about our… nonconventional relationship, I’m happy to give you her information.”

“Thank you.” Hotch smiled, then looked down at Spencer, “He looks so peaceful when he sleeps.”

He was smiling just a little, looking more relaxed than he ever did when awake.

“It sound weird but,” I hesitated, “Sometimes I just watch him while he sleeps, especially after intense scenes, you can basically predict how much faster he’ll fall asleep, and he stays asleep too. Fewer nightmares, I guess.”

“It may be unconventional, but this relationship is good for both of you.” Hotch smiled, “You’re better agents and better people because you have each other.”

“I worry about the kids,” I whispered, “How did you do it with Jack?”

His smile was sad now, “I divorced Hayley, so… not well. We weren’t ready for the responsibility and I put it unfairly on her. You saw my mistakes, but you have to know that Jenna and Garcia will be those kids’ parents too, at least in some ways.”

I nodded. “We know.”

“I’m glad you’re more prepared than I was, it’ll do you and the kids well to be ready for all of the problems.”

“We can’t be ready for all of them, Hotch, you know that.” I laughed.

“You can be more ready than I was. You can be more ready than your parents were. And I know you’ll be better.”

“I really hope you’re right.” I whispered, unconsciously rubbing the scar on my shoulder.

Hotch took my hand, “Sleep. You need it. We both do.”

“You’ll wake me up if you need me?”

He nodded. I had to trust that he was honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE ARE OFFICIALLY OVER 150,000 WORDS!!!  
> I'm so proud of this fic it's my baby  
> Also all y'all's comments make me so happy thank you for your support


	62. The Time After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

I woke up slowly, groaning as sunlight hit my face. I tried to roll over, but something – _someone?_ – pulled me back, pushing my legs apart.

“Wha?” I muttered, slowly opening my eyes.

Hands were running up and down my thighs, and I could feel the air against my pussy. Someone was biting at my neck and chest gently. I opened my eyes to see Spencer, who’d moved up to kiss me, smiling.

“Morning, sweetie,” he leaned down to kiss me.

I responded eagerly, tangling my hand in his hair to pull him closer, but- there were still hands on my legs, even though I could feel his on either side of my head. I pulled away and glanced down to see Aaron, kneeling on the bed between my legs, slowly kissing his way up my thigh.

“Is this what I get for not cumming last night?” I looked up at Spencer, who smiled and nodded. “You really don’t have to.”

“I want to. _We_ want to,” he responded, voice a little scratchy.

Hotch looked up at me, “You shouldn’t neglect your pleasure as a dom. Spencer might be a little bit of a pillow princess, but he and I both want to make you feel good.” As he spoke, he trailed one finger up my slit, not deep enough to feel how wet I was, just to brush the skin.

“I’m not a pillow princess,” Spencer pouted.

“You were tied up last night and Hotch and I were doing all the work, you’re absolutely a pillow princess.” I retorted, laughing at his expression. “My princess.” I kissed him again.

Spencer blushed before remembering he was supposed to be pouting. “Only because-“

“Because even in your dreams you’re a pillow princess,” Aaron cut him off, “Just admit it.”

“Never.”

My laugh turned into a gasp of pleasure as Hotch’s finger dipped between the lips of my pussy.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he hummed, “We’ve barely done anything.”

“Shut up.” I muttered.

“Want a taste?” Aaron asked Spencer, holding out his finger.

Immediately, Spencer’s mouth was around his finger, sucking and humming happily.

“Last time I tasted you, you had control,” Aaron murmured, breath hot against me. “Not now, this time you have to sit back.”

“Make me,” I muttered.

Spencer smiled and pulled me into a deep kiss, allowing Hotch to move forward and start sucking on my clit, making me moan against Spencer’s lips.

“You’re ganging up on me, that’s not fair,” I muttered, pulling back.

I could feel Hotch laugh even though I couldn’t see him, “Who said we were going to play fair?”

With that, he began sucking on my clit, making my hips arch up as I moaned. Spencer’s hand trailed down my chest, playing with my nipples. I tried to relax, closing my eyes and letting the boys take control. Hotch moaned against me and I cursed, twitching and groaning in pleasure.

“Focus on her clit,” Spencer recommended, “She gets so sensitive.”

I cursed breathlessly as Hotch began sucking on my clit and flicking his tongue across it, making me dig my fingers into the sheets. Spencer leaned down to kiss me again as I moaned into his mouth.

My first orgasm approached quickly, and I almost screamed, grinding against Hotch’s mouth. He didn’t even slow down, making me whine and twitch, screwing my eyes shut in pleasure.

“Look at him,” Spencer encouraged, “Watch him make you feel good.”

As he said that, he helped me sit up and let me settle between his legs, allowing me to look down at Hotch, who met my eyes as he continued pleasuring me. Spencer reached around to play with my nipples and kiss down my neck. Hotch shifted for a second, then pushed two fingers inside me, curling them just a little.

“Fucking- Oh, just like that,” I moaned, leaning back against Spencer, “Fuck, so good.”

Aaron smiled and hummed against me, making me thrust up against him. I could feel my second orgasm approaching, and I scrambled for something to hold onto, digging my fingers into Spencer’s thighs.

“Cum for us,” Spencer growled in my ear.

I moaned loudly and came, pushing my head back against Spencer, unable to even curse through my moans.

As I slowly came down from my orgasm, I could feel Hotch cleaning up, and I watched him lick off his fingers, smiling.

“Fuck,” I panted.

Aaron looked up at Spencer, “Is that what you were thinking?”

“Perfect,” Spencer smiled, kissing me gently, then leaning forward to kiss Hotch, humming as he tasted me.

“Can we just cuddle now?” I murmured, curling back against Spencer as I reached forward to pull Aaron towards me.

Both men agreed, and Hotch pulled the blankets over us, settling with me in front of Spencer. I smiled and closed my eyes, not quite falling asleep, but relaxing, letting both boys take care of me.

“Did you actually sleep at all last night?” Spencer asked quietly, running his hands through my hair.

I felt Hotch shrug, “I think so, I sleep really lightly, but I don’t remember the entire night, so that’s something.”

I smiled a little.

“I’m really glad, you deserve a break.” Spencer said, “Plus, sleep is extremely important for your health. In fact-“

“You’ve told me before, Reid,” I could hear Hotch’s smile, “I could recite the lecture.”

“Right. Sorry.” Spencer was silent for a second. “I- will you hold her so I can make coffee?”

I felt myself be shifted over and felt Spencer’s weight shift and leave the bed. I heard footsteps as he walked to the kitchen, then felt Hotch take a deep breath.

“Did you really sleep?” I asked, keeping my eyes closed.

“I did,” Aaron confirmed, “More than I have at one time in a while.”

“I’m really glad. If you ever need us…”

He cut me off. “I know. I think I just… maybe need to find someone not part of the team I can do this with. Is that wrong?”

I looked up at him, shaking my head. “Of course not. Whatever you need to make yourself comfortable. And if you want, I’m happy to introduce you to people who might be able to do that for you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

***

**_Message from: Deanna Henderson  
_ ** **911**

I almost cursed, only catching myself when I remembered the kids were in the backseat and would repeat everything we said.

“Spence, I’m calling Deanna.” I said before dialing her.

She picked up immediately, “Agent?”

“Deanna, what’s wrong?” I asked, “Are you safe?”

She sounded terrified. More terrified that she was facing the unsub in New York, more terrified than when her parents denied her therapy, and more terrified when I showed her the photo of Donna DeMasi.

“I think…” she whispered, “I think I’m about to be your next case.”

I fought to stay calm. “What are you talking about?”

“I was reading up on the kinds of killers you’ve caught, and I’m telling you now that he’s a family annihilator. I don’t know how long I can hide.” She was fighting to keep quiet, her tone even. “I don’t know his MO, I ran when I heard my parents scream.”

“I need you to tell me where you are.” I said.

“My apartment.” She whispered, “I insisted on creating a hiding space, I can’t tell you where, but I think he knows I’m in here somewhere. Please… I’m so scared.”

I knew Spencer’s eyes were trained on me. “Deanna, I’m going to put you on speaker while I text my boss, is that okay? My kids are in the car, so is Agent Reid.”

“You have kids?” I could hear the hint of a smile in her voice.

“I can’t believe I never told you, I have twins. Maeve and Tobias, they’re just over a year old.” I confirmed, turning on speakerphone. “You can say hi, if you want.”

“Hi, babies!” She said, still quietly.

“Mama’s friend?” Tobias asked.

I nodded, “Say hi to Deanna, sweeties.”

“Hi, Dee-na!” They both said.

“You have an amazing mom, you know that?” Deanna asked, “You really do have wonderful parents, give them hugs for me, okay?”

“Okay!” Maeve smiled, while Tobias nodded.

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Deanna’s in danger. Family annihilator in NY. Either we go as a team or I go alone.**

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **We just got the case file. Meet at the airport.**

“Deanna, I’m going to take you off speakerphone,” I said, putting the phone to my ear, “My team will be flying out to New York within the hour, I want you to text me every ten minutes. I won’t respond unless you ask me too. Keep your phone on silent, stay quiet, we’ll be there within three hours.”

“Okay, I will.” She whispered. “Thank you.”

***

We didn’t have time to bring the kids to daycare; we gave Garcia the kids, who passed them off to Jenna. The plane ride was tense, I would’ve paced back and forth if Spencer wasn’t holding me close. The alerts continued every 10 minutes, and I breathed a sigh of relief every time.

“How do we know the unsub isn’t holding her?” Rossi asked. “I hate to suggest it, but it’s possible.”

“She wouldn’t have been as open, she would’ve included as few details as possible, and she sounded more relaxed when she was talking to the kids. It didn’t sound right for a hostage situation.” I answered, having already considered it. “We have to trust her.”

Hotch pulled me aside, “Are you sure you can be on this case?”

I nodded, “She trusts me. I need to be.” I didn’t allow for any argument.

***

The lights were bright and the sound of the sirens piercing as we drove through the streets of New York, frantically driving towards Deanna’s family’s apartment. There was already a perimeter, but they waited for us.

**_Message from: Deanna Henderson  
_ ** **Check-in.**

I looked down at my phone, even though I was counting the minutes. 6 minutes ago.

As soon as we arrived, I threw myself out of the car, vest already on. The team ran in with me as we sprinted up the stairs. In front of her apartment, I stood aside for Morgan.

“Are you sure you don’t want to call her?” He asked.

I shook my head, “If he has her, we don’t want there to be any warning.”

He nodded, a single forceful kick forcing the door in. We swarmed in, quickly canvassing the tiny apartment.

“All clear!” Hotch called, then turned to me, body shielding me from the scene of her bodies in the next room. “Call her.”

With shaking hands, I took out my phone and dialed her. It rang. And rang. And rang.

“No, no, no, no, please,” I paced, “Please pick up.”

Nothing. It went to voicemail. I dialed again.

“Please,” I whispered. “Please pick up.”

Voicemail.

“No, no,” I held my head in my hands, “I was just talking to her, she checked in…”

Spencer’s arms wrapped around me. “It’s okay, you told her to put her phone on silent, she might not have seen it.”

“We identified ourselves as the FBI, why isn’t she responding?” I leaned against him.

“People can pretend to be the FBI,” he reminded me, “She’s being careful.”

“You don’t know that.”

“How many minutes until the next check in?” Hotch asked.

I glanced at my watch. “I- uh, any second now.”

As if on cue, my phone buzzed, Deanna’s contact popped up on my screen. She was calling me. I picked up immediately.

“Deanna?” I asked.

“Is it really you?” She whispered, “I heard shouting… I heard the FBI… Is it you?”

“It’s us, I’m in your apartment with my team and SWAT,” I breathed a sigh of relief, “Do you need help getting out of your hiding place?”

“Can you… can you turn out the lights? And… not too loud. I’m overwhelmed.” Her voice was shaking, “I thought he was trying to make me come out…”

“Of course.” I muted myself and looked at Hotch, “We need minimal lighting, get SWAT outside, and get an ambulance here, now. We’re looking at massive shock, trauma, I want the bodies covered _now._ ”

By the time I finished talking, agents were already moving, lights dimming and blankets being pulled over Deanna’s parents.

**_Message to: Deanna Henderson  
_ ** **You’re okay to come out.**

Spencer held me close as we waited. I heard footsteps, and then Deanna walked out from the small bedroom we’d identified as hers, leaning against the doorframe, shaking in fear. I wanted to run over and comfort her, but I walked forward slowly, stopping several feet away.

“Deanna, can I touch you?” I asked, offering a hand.

She nodded. I reached forward and touched her arm lightly, but as soon as she felt my touch, she almost collapsed into my arms. I caught her and let us both onto the floor, holding her close to my chest.

“Spence, get my vest off,” I said quietly.

He helped me pull it off and I held Deanna against my chest, rocking her as she started crying.

“We’re getting an ambulance, okay?” I said quietly, “I’ll help take you downstairs, I’ll be with you at the hospital if you want.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, “Are- what happened to my parents?”

“They’re gone, I’m so sorry, we couldn’t find a pulse.” My heart broke as I spoke. “We’re working on getting a technician here to determine time of death, but cause looks like gunshots.”

The next few hours were a blur. I was allowed into the ambulance with her, holding her hand all the way to the hospital. She wasn’t physically hurt, but in serious shock, with extremely elevated levels of adrenaline. I wasn’t allowed into her room at first, so I paced in the waiting room, checking my phone every few seconds.

When Hotch called, I rushed to a more private area.

“Hotch?” I asked.

“We’re at the station now,” he reported, “We’re going over the case files, we could use your help.”

“I can’t leave her, Aaron,” I whispered.

“There’s nothing you can do to help her right now.” He answered. “We need you.”

***

I couldn’t focus on the case. I kept thinking about Deanna’s texts, the tone of her voice.

“Something doesn’t make sense,” I muttered, collapsing back into the chair, “It doesn’t line up.”

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked.

“The footsteps… There weren’t any. There weren’t any footsteps and blood all over the floor and none of it makes sense. She couldn’t have hidden. Even one of us… We wouldn’t say family annihilator before anything.” I couldn’t quite parse out my own thoughts. “Something’s wrong, it doesn’t make sense.”

“What are you suggesting?” Hotch asked.

“I… Someone needs to question her. Soon. Something’s not right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I sorry?  
> A little bit.


	63. What Do I Do Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The case continues. So does the hearbreak.

“I’m so confused,” I whispered against Spencer’s chest. “None of it makes sense.”

“We’re figuring it out, it might be nothing.” He reminded me.

I shook my head, “It doesn’t feel like that.”

“We’ve all been wrong,” he said, “You can’t be sure.”

I couldn’t respond.

“Sleep for now, nothing will happen before the morning.”

I nodded and curled up, listening to Spencer’s heartbeat, his soft humming lulling me to sleep.

_Deanna’s shaking voice, the image of her curled up terrified. Her parents’ dead bodies, their eyes blank, faced contorted in terror. The way she collapsed into my arms. The request for dim lights, minimal noise, as if knowing we’d send the SWAT team out. Her small, shaking frame, walking out to us._

_No footsteps, but so much blood._

I shot up in bed, “The shoes!”

“Hmm?” Spencer mumbled, sitting up, “What are you talking about?”

“All their shoes are by the door, except for one pair of shoes that was perfectly placed in the corner of the room where the parents were.” I said in a rush. “They were clean, way too clean.”

Spencer was already out of bed, “Let’s go to the scene, I’ll call Hotch and let him know what’s going on.”

We both rushed to pull on clothes, rushing out the door. Luckily, Spencer had the keys to one of the vans, and we fought early morning New York traffic to get to the apartment. Officers were guarding the scene, but I flashed my badge and ran inside. I hadn’t had any coffee, and I was slightly delirious as I rushed through the rooms, muttering to myself as I tried to find the shoes.

“Hey, hey,” Spencer caught my arm as I rushed through the small hallway, “Take a deep breath, tell me what you’re looking for.”

I closed my eyes, trying to think. “There was a clean pair of shoes in the room where the parents’ bodies were.”

“Okay, so why are you in Deanna’s room?”

“The shoes aren’t there anymore.” I answered in a rush, “They’re not anywhere.”

“Okay, breathe, close your eyes and try to focus,” Spencer held me close, “It’s okay. Let’s go through this logically.”

I focused on my breathing, putting myself into the scene from yesterday. I’d walked into the room where Deanna’s parents were, seen the bodies, blood pooling on the floor. I’d walked forward, hearing the blood squelch beneath my boots, and even though I knew they were gone, I checked for a pulse. I’d looked around the room, checking for any sign of the unsub, any mistake. The room was a mess, as if they’d struggled, but there were shoes in the corner. Black, plain, polished, too clean.

“The parents,” I muttered, walking towards the room where we’d found their bodies, “This room looks like there was a struggle, right?”

Spencer nodded.

“But, remember the bodies? No sprawling, no chaos, they were laid out perfectly next to each other.” I gestured towards the outlines on the floor, “It was too neat.”

“Maybe the unsub arranged them after?” He asked.

“No, think about the other scenes attributed to this unsub, it’s different. Those, he left them in chaos, why would this be different?”

“This family meant something,” Spencer answered immediately, “Or it’s a different unsub disguising their work as someone else’s.”

I nodded. “We need to find anyone with a grudge against this family, and fast. If it’s a single unsub, he’s going to kill afterwards too in order to conceal this family. And if it’s not, our unsub is on the run.”

***

“I’m going to interview Deanna,” JJ said, looking up at me, “Hotch said you can come along, but he doesn’t want you in the room during the interview.”

I shook my head, “Go without me, I want to look over the other scenes.”

She hesitated for a second, as if considering saying something else, but left without saying anything.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Hotch asked me as he poked his head into the room.

I was confused, but nodded, following him into a small, unoccupied office. “What’s going on?”

“We got the autopsy report from the coroner,” Hotch started.

I was surprised, “So why aren’t you telling this in front of everyone?”

“I want your perspective on it first.”

I blinked. “Why?” He’d never done this before.

He wordlessly passed the folder to me. I opened it, leafing through the photographs, finally finding the report, neatly typed and organized. I skimmed through it, then glanced back at the top, finally seeing the issue.

“Why aren’t these Deanna’s parents’ names?”

“Because those weren’t Deanna’s parents. Her parents have fingerprints on record, and we took a DNA sample from both of them and Deanna. Nothing. And there’s no record of Deanna being adopted.”

“So, we’re dealing with lookalikes?” I asked, turning back to the photographs. There were gunshots through the head, but once it was wiped off, it looked like her parents. “What are you saying? And why aren’t you telling the team?”

“After finding this, we went back and took DNA samples from the others. They were killed as families, so the coroner didn’t originally, but… the samples from the children don’t match the parents at the same scenes. Instead, the parents from scene 1 were at scene 2, victim 2’s parents were at scene 3, and so on. This is the fifth scene, with the fourth parents. They all looked similar enough that it wasn’t caught before now. That means Deanna’s parents are out there, and we’re looking at maximum two days before they show up dead with another child.” Hotch’s eyes searched mine.

“That doesn’t answer why you’re not telling the whole team.” I knew he was avoiding it.

“There’s one connection between all the families that we found.” He met my eyes, “The kids all shared one therapist.”

“Oh, no.” I whispered.

“We’re bringing her in already, but you’re too close to this. I’m taking you off the case.”

“This is my fault,” I muttered, “If I hadn’t told her to go to therapy, none of this would have happened.”

“You were helping her, it’s not your fault, but the director has said that you shouldn’t be on this case. You can stay in the city, but you’re not on the case anymore. Effective immediately.”

***

I closed myself in the hotel room for the rest of the day. JJ was still with Deanna, and I wasn’t allowed with the team at the precinct, or at the scenes, so there was no use in being anywhere else.

“The shoes, there has to be something about the shoes.” I flipped through my case notes (which Hotch had let me keep), “They’re a calling card of some kind.”

I grabbed a roll of tape, putting several sheets of paper up on the wall so I could see them. I sat on the bed, staring.

“Okay,” I took a deep breath. “Cognitive interview. Breathe slowly, put yourself back in the scene.”

I knew it was difficult to do this for myself, but I tried.

“You rush in the door, start searching the apartment. You go into the parents’ room, the door opens inward. You find them on the floor at the foot of the bed, feet to the door. They were facing the door when they fall, they must have been based on the lack of blood streaks. You walk forward, step in the blood pool, check their pulses. They’re dead. You turn back towards the door, there’s a pair of shoes in the corner. Describe them.”

I thought for a second, trying to build the scene in my mind. The shoes by the door, in the corner, what did they look like?

“They’re black,” I murmured, as if answering myself. “They’re shined, polished, they were just cleaned. They’re perfectly placed in the corner, just off the carpet, there’s nothing on them. No blood, nothing. Business shoes, expensive ones.”

“What size are they?”

I thought again, willing myself to mentally walk closer. “They’re smaller than Spencer’s, but not by a lot. Size 9.5 or 10, the left foot is slightly wider. They’re custom.”

I opened my eyes, grabbing a paper and scrawling down all the details I’d said.

“Okay, we’re finding a custom cordwainer or cobbler, probably in New York, black business shoes, slightly wider left foot.” I muttered, then pulled out my computer. “How hard can this be?”

Over 30 custom shoemakers in New York. I couldn’t do this alone. I called Garcia.

“At your service. Wait, aren’t you off the case?” She answered immediately.

I sighed, “Ignore that for a second, ok, Pen? I need you to find something for me.”

“Hit me.”

“So, we’re looking at the common therapist or other people at that practice, correct?” I asked.

“Yes, but there are 10 of them, all expensive ones, they’ll lawyer up quick.” She answered. “We can’t bring them all in.”

“That’s okay, I have additional limits. Size 9.5 or 10 shoe, recently got custom business shoes, black, wider left foot.” I rattled off.

“Oh, you’re good.” I heard the smile in her voice and the typing in the background. “Cognitive interview, or did you find the shoes?”

“Did a cognitive on myself. Any luck?”

“Impressive. One second, inputting parameters, any custom shoes in New York, and…” She was silent for a few seconds. “Bingo! One of the other therapists joined the practice around the same time, has those exact shoe measurements, always gets custom shoes. He’s been off for two weeks, recorded as a family emergency.”

“Send all the information to Hotch.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Work, home, any other properties, the works.”

“Way ahead of you. Good job, ma’am.” I could hear the sass in her voice, but before I could respond, she hung up.

I fell back onto the bed. _Okay,_ I thought, _We got a real lead. You did well._

***

Hotch summoned me back to the station later that day. I was immediately pulled into a side room.

“I took you off the case.” He sounded angry.

I sighed, “I know, I was just going over some details, and I performed a cognitive on myself.”

“On yourself?” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s… uncommon.”

“I realized I might have missed something. Are you really angry at me, or are you angry because the director says you have to be?” I asked, smiling a little. “You got your unsub, or at least a damn good suspect.”

“We haven’t figured out what Deanna has to do with this still, so _certain people_ are anxious about your participation, but you’re invaluable right now. I’ll deal with the repercussions. You’re going to meet JJ at the hospital to discuss with her.” I saw the hint of a smile on his face, “Good job, Agent.”

“Thank you.”

***

JJ met me in the reception of the hospital, smiling and pulling me into a hug. “It’s good to see you. Ready?”

I nodded. We quietly walked up to Deanna’s room; the windows were covered in black paper, concealing her from anyone who may try to interfere with the investigation. There was an officer outside, who nodded at JJ and quickly checked my badge before allowing us into the room.

Deanna was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through her phone. She looked up when we walked in, a smile covering her face when she saw me.

“I thought you weren’t allowed to come?” She asked, standing up to give me a hug. “I’ve only talked to JJ, Hotch, and like one doctor. JJ said you weren’t allowed to be here.”

I shrugged, “Things change, Hotch brought me back onto the case. Unfortunately, though, we’re not here for a social call.”

“I didn’t think so,” Deanna shrugged, “So what are we doing? Another cognitive?”

I shook my head, “We’re just talking. We have a good suspect, it’s mostly just figuring out your link to him at this point.”

JJ glanced at me, as if to say _Are we going to tell her about her parents?_

“What was that?” Deanna asked. “JJ just gave one of those ‘adult-asking-a-question-they-don’t-want-kids-to-hear’ looks.”

I sighed, “I did say you’d be a good profiler. We uncovered some additional details about the case, explaining why some of your early actions didn’t make sense, as well as some details of the scene.”

Deanna smiled a little, “Adults aren’t as subtle as you think you are.” She sat back on the bed, “What’s going on?”

“Those weren’t your parents in your house. We believe the unsub came in, threatened your parents, and that’s when you ran. He forced them to make a racket, set the scene, and then searched for you. We don’t know when he left.” I sighed.

“What do you mean ‘set the scene’? How do you know those weren’t my parents?” She sat up, “They looked like my parents.”

I sighed and nodded, “The unsub is targeting people who look like your parents, those parents were actually the parents of the last little girl we found. We expect your parents, if we can’t find them, to show up at the next scene.”

“He kidnapped my parents, you mean.” She asked.

I nodded. “We don’t think they’re dead, time of death puts the last set of parents dead once they were already in your home. It explains some conflicts in evidence that we’d found, there’s just one outstanding detail, but right now we’re treating it as his signature.”

***

“He won’t tell us where they are.” Morgan reported as we walked into the meeting room. “We now believe he was actually targeting Deanna’s family, covering it up with the other victims.”

“Fuck,” I sighed, “Do we think they’re alive?”

“He won’t say anything else. He wants to talk to Deanna,” Spencer looked at me, “We refused.”

“Let me in, let me talk to him,” I said, “I have the closest connection to her, I might be able to get something out of him.”

Hotch’s eyes searched mine. Finally, after what felt like forever, he nodded. “You have half an hour.”

***

I couldn’t do anything. He refused to say anything, even when I mentioned Deanna, didn’t even look at me. He just sat, hands folded on the table, staring at me, eyes blank. He barely seemed to breathe. After half an hour, I left.

“He hasn’t even lawyered up, why?” I asked, sitting down and sighing, leaning on Spencer’s shoulder. “He has the money to.”

“Because he’s not talking. He doesn’t want to reveal anything.” Rossi leaned forward, “Even asking for a lawyer is a sign of weakness to him.”

“We’re not bringing Deanna in,” I said firmly, “We can’t. Not again.”

Hotch looked at me, then nodded. “You’re right, it’s not a good idea. We won’t do that.”

“So, what do we do?” asked Emily, “Her parents are still in danger?”

“We build the profile as if we don’t have him in custody, figure out where he’d be hiding, and find the parents.” Hotch answered. “That’s all we can do.”

***

He had an apartment in a bad part of town, one he payed for out of a separate bank account. We rushed there; it was on the first floor, easy to get into, and we rushed in. He’d demolished all the walls, creating a large, concrete rectangle with a toilet and a shower. Even the utilities were gone, pulled out of the walls.

In the middle of the room, there were three bodies: two parents, and a young child. Painted in blood, across the far wall, were two words.

_I WIN_

I rushed forward and dropped, checking for pulses or breathing, grabbing a mirror from a pocket in my vest to check for breathing. Nothing. We searched the adults’ pockets for ID: Surprisingly, they were there, unlike all past victims. It was Deanna’s parents.

“We need a DNA test, ASAP,” Hotch ordered the CSU officers coming in, “And an ID on the child. Cross-check with missing person databases.”

“Yes, Sir.”

I was frozen on the floor, staring. Even though it was possible the IDs were stolen, I knew they weren’t. These were Deanna’s parents, for real this time, and she was alone.

“(Y/N)?” I heard Spencer behind me. “We need to move; they need to secure the scene and take samples.”

“I failed,” I whispered, “I couldn’t save them.”

“It’s not your fault,” Spencer helped me to my feet, “You couldn’t have done anything.”

“She’s alone and it’s my fault.”

***

I had to tell her. I owed her that much.

Spencer walked me to her room, waiting outside as I walked in. She looked up, smiling as she saw me, putting down her phone, then noticed my expression.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, “What happened?”

_Stay strong for her, Agent._

“We found an apartment that was being paid for by the unsub. He’s renovated, it was an empty room,” I took a deep breath, “We found your parents.”

“Oh,” her voice was weak.

“They… I checked for a pulse, for breathing, anything. They were gone by the time we got there.”

“How- how did they die?” She asked, “Was it painful?”

I shook my head, “We don’t think so. There was a little girl between them, she was shot, but we think they were poisoned. It would have been fast.”

“There was a kid? Who?” She looked up.

“I- we’re working on getting an ID now, based on her appearance, we think she may have been homeless or kidnapped and held captive.” I looked down, “I’m so sorry.”

“They’re gone?” It was barely more than a breath passing her lips.

I couldn’t speak. I just nodded.

***

He confessed as soon as we told him we’d found the bodies. His smile was horrifying, he loved the horror, the disgust, the pain.

The girl was a homeless girl taken off the streets, soon before Deanna’s parents were kidnapped. We couldn’t find any family.

We stayed for the funeral, I held Deanna’s hand as she spoke, comforting her as she cried. The girl was buried near them, Deanna insisted she have a proper final good-bye.

After the funeral, Deanna and I sat in front of her parents’ graves. She looked numb.

“What do I do now?” She sounded heartbroken.

I didn’t have an answer, as much as I wished I did.


	64. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the positive feels.  
> Deanna comes home.

We stayed in New York to see the case through. Deanna, without any relatives able to take her in, was put in the state care system. Luckily, when she felt able, she’d be allowed to return to her school.

Spencer and I laid in bed, holding hands, staring at the ceiling. He knew I hurt, I’d tried so hard, and it stung that it wasn’t enough.

“What do we do about Deanna?” I asked. “I don’t want to see her stay in the care system, it’s just… it’s not good.”

“There is one option.” Spencer hesitated, “If… if you want to consider it.”

I turned to face him, “You mean adopt her?”

“I do.” He looked at me.

“Are we ready to?”

He hesitated. “It’s almost impossible to be ready for children. We said we were ready for a kid, we got twins. She’s a good kid, she’s smart, we could do it.”

“She’d have to move to DC with us.”

“We should ask her.” He said, “If you want to look into it as an option for her.”

“She’s got summer break soon, right? We could bring her down to DC, have her meet the kids, look at schools, all of that.” I thought out loud, “If she even wants to.”

And so the process began.

***

“Hotch, I know this is unprecedented, but-“

“You want to adopt Deanna, don’t you?” he cut me off. “But you need to consult me first, since she’s been involved in two cases.”

There was no use even trying to hide anything from him.

“Correct.” Spencer said. “Well?”

“I think it’s a good idea. I’d recommend psychological examinations from a non-FBI psychologist, and there may be some issues with crossing state lines, but I’ll help you with it.” Hotch smiled at us. “You’ve asked her?”

I nodded, “She’s interested, we have some details to work out, obviously, but we thought checking with you before proceeding would be the best route to take.”

“You’re absolutely correct, that was the best option.” He smiled at us, “You’re doing the right thing.”

***

“There are some details of the case we need to debrief about before you move forward with this,” Hotch sighed as we sat down in his office. “I know you don’t like to do this, but…”

“We have to.” Spencer finished. “It’s FBI protocol, we both know that.”

“Let’s go over the details of the case first.” Hotch opened the folder. “Deanna DeMasi’s parents was supposed to be the fifth child killed during this spree. Her parents were the fifth pair of parental victims, along with the homeless girl. She managed to escape being killed through hiding in a secret compartment in her closet. The unsub killed the fourth set of parents, kidnapping the Hendersons, and searched for Deanna. We don’t know exactly when, but he left before police were called in.”

“We believe it was after Deanna called me, correct?” I asked.

Hotch nodded. “It’s possible it was only a short time before police arrived, as the parents may have been disguised.”

We went over the next few hours of that day in detail: finding Deanna, taking her to the hospital, finding discrepancies in her story, putting her under police ‘protection’. It had been a combination of custody and protection; we had no idea what role she played in the case.

“We now know, as you’re both aware, that the unsub wanted her to be pinned for the murder of her parents, giving him time to finish the last kill and escape.” Hotch continued, “He was ultimately targeting her due to her involvement in the Son of Sam copycat case.”

“What’s the official story on his involvement?” I asked.

Hotch hesitated, “The media have been told that there was no involvement with the Son of Sam case and that he was targeting victims of his coworker out of professional jealously.”

“But?” Spencer asked. “He targeted Deanna for a reason.”

“We suspect that the copycat may have been attending therapy under a false name, and the therapist was encouraging him to act on these urges.”

“So why not tell the public?” I asked.

“There are people like Deanna’s parents who already look down on therapy, we don’t want them to be given further ammunition.” Hotch answered, “This allows us to paint him as a killer who happened to be a therapist, rather than a therapist killer who encouraged another killer.”

“What do we tell Deanna?”

“You have to decide as agents and possible parents what to disclose.” He leaned back, “I can’t decide that for you. The Bureau trusts you to maintain confidentiality.”

***

Deanna arrived in DC just in time for the kids’ (only slightly belated) first birthday party. We’d moved the kids’ cribs so she could stay in the nursery on an inflatable bed, though Spencer and I both knew that if this went through, we’d have to have a more permanent solution – we’d probably lose our home office.

_Worth it._

The kids didn’t really understand what was going on, though they enjoyed all the sugar, and Deanna basically babysat them, giving us the ability to relax with the team. Both twins immediately liked her, which they showed by pulling on her hair and incessantly removing her glasses. She just smiled and laughed, looking more relaxed than I’d ever seen her.

Aaron, being the team dad he was, sat down with her privately, both to discuss the legal side and to ensure she was making the right choice for herself and her mental health. When they emerged from the office, he simply smiled and nodded at me. Jenna pulled her aside as well, for whatever crazy reason Jenna had, but it looked like they were having a nice conversation, so I chose not to interfere.

After everyone left, we put the kids down for a nap. By the time Spencer and I walked out of the nursery, Deanna was already cleaning up, having found the trash bags in the pantry.

“You can sit, Deanna, we can take care of this.” I offered. “You’re our guest.”

She shrugged, “It’s no big deal. Besides, you’re parents.”

We helped her clean up and put a pot of coffee on to brew before all sitting down. Deanna took one of the armchairs, while Spencer and I cuddled on the larger couch.

“So, if you’d like to move forward with this, we can look at high schools tomorrow.” I began, “But if you want to stay in New York, we can stop this entire process right now.”

“Did Jenna – that’s her name, right? – did Jenna tell you what she talked to me about?”

We both shook our heads.

“She said Penelope filled her in on some of the details of the case and she wanted to make sure I was okay since she lost her parents when she was my age. And then she told me that she has a license to carry and if I ever hurt either one of you, she’s not afraid to go to jail for murder.” Deanna laughed a little, “Hotch, uh- Aaron, he basically said the same thing. He also said that you nearly bit his head off when you thought I may have been upset by the Son of Sam case.”

I shrugged, “I did. I almost slapped him.”

“I was ready to have to stop a fight,” Spencer added. “Although between the two of them, I’m not sure I couldn’t.”

“You definitely couldn’t, pipe cleaner.” I kissed him.

“The point is,” she said, as if purposefully interrupting our kiss, “You have an amazing family here. I saw that on the case, with your team, and even more today. Your kids are amazing and… I’d be honored to be a part of it.”

I was holding Spencer’s hand behind my back, and I squeezed it nervously. “So, you want to go forward with this? It’s not going to be easy.”

“I was involved in two serial killer cases, _Agents_ ,” Deanna smiled, “I know about things not being easy. But, yes, if you still want to go forward with this, I’d like to.”

***

Even though we’d already begun the process to be approved as adoptive parents, it still took until December of that year to finalize everything and get Deanna to DC. We flew up with the kids to help her pack the moving truck, then flew back down to bring her home.

The drive to our house was tense with quiet excitement. Well, mostly quiet because the kids were asleep, but still. As I parked, both babies woke up, and Spencer and I each took one, helping Deanna bring her bags to the door.

“One more thing.” I smiled as I reached into my pocket. “It’s important to us that you feel like this is your home, not a stopover, not a place you’re going to leave, even when you go to college. This is your new home.”

Deanna smiled and nodded.

“So, Deanna Reid,” I couldn’t help but smile widely at the last name, “I present to you your own key to the house.”

I pulled out the key and keyring we’d chosen for her; an FBI-style badge with a picture of her, our emergency details on the back, and a house key.

“Already?” She looked about ready to cry.

I nodded, holding the ring out to her. “You’re family now.”

She took it, hands shaking, barely able to put the key into the lock, turning it with shaking hands. She reached forward is disbelief, taking the door handle and turning it. The door opened smoothly.

“Welcome home, kiddo,” I smiled and pushed the door open.

Deanna looked ready to cry with happiness as she stepped over the threshold, suitcase bumping up behind her. Spencer and I brought the other suitcases in, and Spencer flipped the lights on.

I had a sense of déjà vu as we saw the banner on the wall.

_WELCOME HOME, DEANNA REID!_

The team, Jenna, Elle, and Jack all popped out from behind the furniture, yelling, “Welcome home!”

Deanna started in shock before fully breaking down crying, falling back against me as she lost balance. She couldn’t stop smiling as she took her hands away from her face, looking around at everyone.

“This is all for me?” She whispered.

“All for you, kid,” Hotch smiled from his position next to Jack.

“Come on, bring it in, hugs!” Garcia rushed forward, pulling Deanna from my arms into hers. “You’re part of the family now.”

Deanna was passed around, getting hugs from everyone, finally returning to us after Spencer and I had already taken the suitcases to her room. She was beaming, glowing with happiness.

“Take a seat, enjoy being home.” I smiled and adjusted Maeve on my hip.

“Give me one of the kids, you deserve a break too,” She held her arms out. “I’m happy to hold onto them for a while.”

“Deanna!” Maeve said happily, leaning forward, arms outstretched.

I shrugged and let Deanna take her. We all sat and had cake, Deanna relaxing and joking with the group like they’d been friends forever. Spencer put his legs across mine, leaning against my shoulder, smiling.

“She’s so happy,” he muttered, “We did a good thing.”

“Yeah, we did.” I kissed him.

In unison, all three kids, Elle, and Jenna yelled “EW!”

***

After the party, we finally got to show Deanna her new room. We covered her eyes and walked her to the room we’d decorated (mostly over video chat) with her, though we’d added a few extra gifts.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Ready.”

I pulled away my hands, revealing the entire room to her.

In the center of the room was a queen-sized bed with wave-pattered blue sheets and matching pillows. On one side was a small table with a few books (picked out by Spencer), a nightlight, and an alarm clock/speaker. On the wall across from the bed was a vanity/desk with theatre-style bulb lights around the mirror. Next to that was a walk-in closet, waiting for her clothes. Posters from her favorite shows, movies, and series covered one wall, surrounding a bookshelf. The bags we’d brought in were sitting by the door.

“Holy…” Deanna whispered, “I was not expecting this much.”

“We talked about this, Deanna, this is your home.” Spencer leaned against the doorframe, smiling. “We wanted to make it special.”

“I don’t know how to thank you,” she smiled at us, “This is everything I could’ve wished for.”

“Make yourself at home, go on, jump on the bed.” I encouraged, “I did when we got the mattress, it’s so fun.”

She looked back at me, as if to make sure, then smiled and sprinted the short distance to the bed before leaping onto it, laughing in excitement.

“It’s so fluffy!” She giggled, “Oh my gosh!”

I laughed. “I know, right?”

“This is amazing.” She grabbed a pillow and held it close, “It’s so soft!”

“Do you want help unpacking?” I asked, gesturing towards her suitcases. “We’re going out to dinner at 5:30, but you have time before then.”

“Yeah, I think I need some time to take this all in.” She sighed, “Thank you.”

Spencer smiled, “Of course.”

***

I wrapped myself around Spencer on the bed, smiling. “She looked so happy.”

“She is.” He responded, “I mean- I wasn’t profiling her, but-“

“Sure you aren’t, Spence.” I kissed his cheek.

He shushed me, “She looked really happy, that’s what matters.”

“We’ve basically got three kids in a year and a half,” I muttered, “An almost-17-year-old and two babies. Weird.”

“Good weird?” Spencer asked.

I nodded. “Good weird.”

“One other thing,” Spencer asked, “Do we have time for a quickie?”

I laughed and rolled over to kiss him, “You’re insatiable. Maybe if we shower at the same time.”

“I’m okay with that.” He smiled against my lips.

I got up and began warming up the shower, dropping my clothes into the laundry basket and stepping into the shower, relaxing and running my hands through my hair.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Spencer asked as he stepped into the shower.

I opened my eyes and smiled at him, “Shut up, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” he grabbed my hips and pulled me close, “You’re perfect.”

I hummed and kissed him, “Prove it.”

Spencer kept one arm wrapped around me as he trailed his other hand down my hips, thighs, and up, barely touching my pussy.

“Spence, we don’t have time for this,” I groaned, “Just get on your knees.”

He didn’t argue, turning us so I could lean against the tile wall as he fell to his knees, pulling one leg over his shoulder as I gripped the bar that we’d installed specifically for this.

Spencer slowly licked up my clit, humming against me. I cursed, grinding forward against him, which just encouraged him. He began sucking lightly on my clit, pushing two fingers just barely inside my pussy, curling them.

“Fuck, Spencer,” I groaned, trying to keep my voice down. “So fucking good for me.”

He hummed and flicked his tongue over my clit, making me gasp as he moved faster. I gripped his hair with one hand, pushing him closer to me. I was fighting to keep my volume down as he moved faster. I bit my lip, whining a little.

“Spence- Reid- fuck, I’m gonna,” I moaned, “Shit- Just like that- fuck!” I moaned as I came, grinding forwards against him, struggling to keep myself standing.

He hummed against me as I came, pulling back to smile up at me.

“I love you, baby,” I pulled him up and kissed him, “My good little pet.”

Spencer smiled and kissed me back.

“We really need to actually shower,” I muttered, “We have dinner reservations.”

“Shut up.” He groaned, “This is much more interesting.”

“Spence,” I tried to pull away, but I was against the wall. “C’mon, we need to shower.”

“Buzzkill.” He pulled away, pouting dramatically, “Fine.”

I smiled and kissed him, laughing at his dramatic upset expression as we showered. When we finished, I turned the water off, turning around to see Spencer holding up a towel and grabbing me into a hug.

“Mine,” he smiled and kissed me, “My wife.”

“My husband.”

***

“Deanna, are you almost ready?” I called as I helped Tobias into his shoes. “We need to go.”

“One more second!” She answered. “Almost ready!”

I helped Tobias straighten his shirt before looking up at Spencer, who was smoothing down Maeve’s skirt. I grabbed his tie and pulled him into a kiss, pulling away when I heard footsteps coming down the hall.

“Cut it out, lovebirds,” Deanna teased, “How do I look?”

She was wearing a knee-length blue dress with a cinched waist and long sleeves. Her hair was pulled back in a half-up half-down style, and she’d done sparkly eyeshadow in sharp lines around her eyes.

“You look fabulous.” I offered my hand to her, “Let’s go.”

***

We drove home from dinner quietly, with the babies sleeping softly on either side of Deanna in the backseat. Spencer volunteered to put them to bed, while Deanna and I took our heels off and sat. To my surprise, she joined me on the couch instead of taking a separate chair.

“Did I ever tell you how much you scared me the first time we met?” She asked, not meeting my eyes.

“Why did I scare you?”

“I knew you weren’t a cop.” She laughed a little, “You looked at me a little too closely to be a cop. You seemed to understand more about me than I wanted you too.”

“I was profiling you, but just enough to figure out whether you were involved and whether you’d been threatened.” I shrugged, “It’s just part of the job. It’s hard to turn off.”

“So how have I changed?” She turned to face me, spreading her hands a little as if to invite me, “Go on, profile me.”

“Like I said, I can’t turn it off. I may try to ignore it, especially with the team and with family, but it’s not something you ever stop doing.” I started, “But I know you’re a lot happier. You’re more relaxed, you don’t hold onto your phone as tightly as if scared of what alert might show up. And you really like having little siblings.”

Deanna blushed a little, “Is there anything about me you haven’t figured out?”

“It is possible to hide things, even from profilers.” I answered evenly. “You have to know how to do it, and you have to believe your lie, but you can do it.”

“Have you ever hidden anything? From Spencer or your team?”

“Spencer and I hid our relationship from the team for a while.” _Because we weren’t anything but friends with benefits, at least officially._ “And Spencer has hidden things from the team before, at least temporarily. It’s almost easier with people you know well, you know how they expect you to act.”

“Why did you hide your relationship from the team? What did Spencer hide?” Deanna asked.

“What Spencer hid isn’t mine to share.” I said, a little more sharply that I intended. “Sorry. That’s his to share, or not. But… we hid the relationship because it’s looked down upon at the Bureau, and it wasn’t a conventional relationship at first.”

“You were fuckbuddies?” She exclaimed. “You two banged before you dated?”

“I didn’t say that.”

She laughed, “You didn’t deny it. You were definitely fuckbuddies.”

“We were physical before we were romantic, yes.” Spencer said from behind me. “But that was mostly my fault.”

“I’m not complaining,” I smiled up at him.

“Gross.” Deanna said. “I don’t need to think about that.”

“Always knock, then.” Spencer advised. “It’s just safer.”

“And with that, I’m going to bed.” Deanna announced, standing up. “Thank you for my nightmare fuel for tonight, I hated it.”

“We’re making coffee for you in the morning, right?” I asked.

“Please.” She smiled, “Sleep well.”

“You too.” Spencer looked up at her, “Knock if you need anything.”

“I will.”

We watched her walk away, Spencer’s arms wrapped around my shoulders. I looked up at him and smiled, kissing him.

“You really didn’t need to say that,” I sighed, “Don’t traumatize the poor girl further.”

“Not knocking is more likely to traumatize her, I’m just being honest.” He laughed, “Bedtime?”

I hummed and nodded, “Jeez, we really are becoming parents. It’s not even late at all.”

“We can always stay up late giving Deanna reasons to have to knock.” Spencer teased.

I sighed, “You know she can probably hear us, right?”

“Let’s get her a white noise machine.” He advised, “It’s good for sleep anyways.”

“Mhm.” I laughed and kissed him.

_I adopted a wonderful kid with Spencer Reid._

_I am happy with Spencer Reid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware this took me forever to write.  
> I am so sorry.  
> I hope it's worth it!


	65. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving forward.

Life never feels normal when you work for the FBI. Seriously, what does normal even mean at this point? My twins, who are named after my husbands’ ex-girlfriend and attempted murderer/person-who-saved-his-life, and the kid we adopted after her parents were killed on a case that we worked are happy and settling in, so… normal?

Sure, we can call that normal.

Deanna was settling in well, got her driver’s license, and made new friends. We’d let her set boundaries on how much we disclosed on her situation; she’d decided just to say her parents died, and we were family friends who took her in. We stayed away from details.

Spencer and I stayed at the office for the first two weeks Deanna started back at school, to make sure everything was settled and went well, but there were no major issues (other than a bunch of paperwork, of course). Spencer and I chilled with Garcia in her office. Really, Spencer wasn’t allowed to touch anything, and Garcia and I chilled.

Once we were sure everything was settled and (relatively) peaceful again, we rejoined the team to travel for the next case. I was nervous to leave Deanna at home, but both she and Spencer reassured me everything would be okay. We’d installed cameras that constantly recorded and sent an alert whenever there was movement by the front or back doors, and I had the notifications on my phone.

The first night on the case, I curled around Spencer, unable to fall asleep, staring into the darkness. He must have known something was wrong, because he turned around to face me.

“What’s going on?”

I sighed, “I want to be home with the kids.”

“I do too, but…” he kissed my cheek, “I’m sure they’re okay.”

“I don’t know if I can handle being away this much. Especially with everything that happened to Deanna.”

“Are you saying you want to work from home?” Spencer asked. “Without travelling?”

“I’m thinking about it.” I pushed my head into his shoulder, “Is that crazy?”

“I don’t think so, no. Honestly, I’ve wanted to bring it up for a while.”

“Since I was threatened by Alice?” I asked.

“You were shot.” He said sharply. “Twice. I thought… I prayed for you, I was so scared.”

“We should talk about this in the morning,” I whispered, “But I’m considering it. And… we should talk about the prayer thing.”

“If you’d like to.” He sounded apprehensive.

I didn’t know what else to say.

***

We got home midday, so Spencer and I sat at home and had coffee while cuddling.

“I’ll talk to Hotch about possible other positions so that I can be at home with the kids.” I started. “I could teach at one of the local universities or the academy, we’ll talk about options.”

“Are you sure?” Spencer looked up at me. “I know I was upset, but it’s your choice.”

“The entire time on the case I kept thinking about wanting to be home. The team needs you, you’re an invaluable agent, but I’d be happy to stay here and teach.” I shrugged. “It’ll be hard for both of us, but it’s worth it for the kids and my own mental health.”

Spencer smiled at me, “Okay. Thank you.”

“There is something else we need to talk about, though.” I started. “I know you don’t want to go into this, but… you prayed for me, Spencer, and that’s not a small deal.”

“I was desperate.”

“You’ve never prayed, never mentioned any relationship with religion except when we talked about the kids, and that wasn’t the same.” I put my coffee down. “Why did you pray for me?”

“I was on the phone with my mom.” He started; breath shaky. “I started crying, you’d flatlined four times already. She told me I needed to pray for you, that it couldn’t hurt. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and it gave me something to focus on. I didn’t stop repeating it until you woke up.”

“Do you want to go to synagogue, Spencer?” I asked.

He shook his head, “I was desperate.”

“Spencer, you need to take care of yourself. Sometimes hope isn’t rational, and that’s okay.” I assured him. “I won’t judge you.”

“There’s this idea in Judaism… you’re supposed to question everything, you don’t accept anything blindly. It’s why I didn’t immediately reject it when I was younger. You don’t have to believe in a higher power to be Jewish, you can wrestle with the existence of one.” He refused to meet my eyes. “I was embarrassed to be praying because that recognizes the idea of a higher power. That’s not something I believe in.”

“You said that you needed it for the focus of it, and your mom told you to. Don’t be embarrassed about that, Spence, it’s understandable.” I kissed his head. “If you ever want to go to synagogue together or as a family, just tell me, okay? And if you want to go alone without telling me that’s okay, too.”

“Promise?” He asked.

I nodded, “I promise.”

***

“Hotch, can we talk?” I asked as we waited for the coffee pot to finish brewing. “There’s just something we need to discuss.”

“Of course, just one moment. I need to get some paperwork to the director.” He nodded at me and walked to his office.

“Is everything okay?” JJ asked, leaning against the counter.

“Yeah, just admin shit,” I shrugged, “Shouldn’t be a big deal.”

I knew she could tell I was lying, but she didn’t press it. Hotch caught my eye from his office and nodded. I made my way up. Spencer looked up from his morning crossword puzzles to give me an encouraging smile. I opened the door, walked in, and shut it firmly behind me.

“Is everything alright?” Hotch asked, looking up at me.

I hesitated, “I… not really. That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

“Please, sit,” He invited me, “What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure I want to travel with the team. Between the teams and Deanna, I’m terrified every time we leave, and it’s not a situation like you or JJ where there’s another parent- sorry, another family member to step in.” I winced at my words. “Jenna’s going to be their mom as much as me.”

“What would you like to do?” Aaron leaned forward, “There are options, of course, but what are you interested in?”

“I know Agent Gideon used to teach and consult on cases. It’s different, I know, he travelled, but could be arrange something like that? I don’t want to leave the BAU completely.”

“It’s certainly an option. We’d have to discuss with the local colleges, or you could work with the FBI academy directly. The FBI would want a more generalized skill if you were to teach for them.” Hotch bit his lip, thinking. “You’re one of my best interrogators, and you’re probably the calmest under extreme pressure. The academy would be lucky to have you.”

“I hadn’t thought too much about the academy, but that makes a lot of sense. I’d certainly be interested.”

“Think it over,” Hotch advised. “I don’t want an answer until after this case is over and you’ve talked to your husband and kids. Well, Deanna at least.”

“I will,” I smiled, “Thank you, Aaron.”

“Of course, I’m happy to help, and I understand the struggle. Good on you for making this decision.” Aaron smiled at me. “I’m proud of you.”

***

“I think you should do the academy,” Spencer said, “I can’t see you as a professor.”

“As if you’d be better.” I scoffed teasingly. “You’re a bit of an encyclopedia sometimes, Spence, and your only jokes are about dendrophilia.”

“My point is,” he ignored the bait, “You’d miss the action of the FBI. You love the thrill of it. With the academy, you’d still have some of that.”

“Stop profiling me.”

“Never.” He gave me a Cheshire cat grin. “At least look into the process for the academy.”

“I will.” I kissed him. “Thank you, Spence.”

***

I had to prepare to teach a course on interrogation and one on remaining calm in times of crisis. Instead of in front of a class, I would be teaching senior FBI agents and bureaucrats.

Spencer could recite my lesson plans before I’d even finalized them. He knew my lecture by heart. By the time the interview/presentations day came around, it felt like even the kids knew my material better than I did.

The first 30 minutes were my lecture on interrogation, then a 5-minute demonstration. I then had to coach someone through an interrogation (well, questioning another senior agent). There were eyes on me the entire time; not even the façade of an interrogation room. I felt confident that I’d done well, though I mercilessly criticized myself as I paced outside the classroom. There were words I’d missed, terminology I’d defined incorrectly (or at least, not the exact textbook definition). What if this cost me everything? They could take my BAU job if I was bad enough.

When I was asked back in for the second class, I looked around, but there were no expressions on anyone’s faces showing the slightest hint of how I’d done.

This lesson was more personal; I described the times I’d been in crisis, focusing on the second time I’d been shot. The bomb, the unsub playing the victim, the public almost-execution.

“The truth is you never know what’s going to happen. You can make predictions, but you never know when you might have to deal with an unsub who’s in the middle of masturbating.” I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard a few laughs. “But once you accept that you can never know what’s coming next, it makes you a better agent. Expectations are dangerous.”

It wasn’t the most reassuring statement, but it was the truth.

“If you’re serious about being part of the FBI, you need to let go of all your preconceived notions on who’s a criminal and what they’ll do. Learn to trust the profile, not your own biases. We have dealt with professional assassins and suicide bombers and every horrible person you can imagine and there is no cookie cutter. I went into the warehouse thinking the unsub was male; I was wrong, and it almost cost me my life.” I took a shaky breath, closed my eyes for a second, then continued. “We work with facts and profiles. And ultimately, that’s why I’m still alive, and it’s my job to teach you how to stay alive too.”

***

“So, I’ve been thinking.” Spencer started.

I turned toward him, sweater only half-buttoned. “Hmm?”

“When you get this position-“

“If.”

“When.” He responded firmly. “When you get this position, you’ll be a teacher.”

“Yeah, duh. What-“

Spencer’s eyes sparkled.

I rolled by eyes. “Perv. I’m not banging my students.”

“Good thing I’m not a student then.” Spencer grinned. “Otherwise you’d have to punish me.”

Having finished buttoning the sweater, I walked forward and grabbed Spencer’s collar, pulling him close.

“If there’s something you want, little whore, ask for it.” I growled. “Don’t play these games.”

He whimpered. “Yes, Mistress, I’m sorry.”

I pulled him up into a kiss, “I love you, Spence.”

“I love you too, Mistress.” He hummed happily, “I’m yours.”

“Mine.” I agreed.

***

“Before we start with today’s briefing, I have an announcement.” I said, squeezing Spencer’s hand beneath the table.

Everyone looked up at me.

“This is going to be my last case with the BAU.”

There was an explosion of noise, questions, and surprise. When everyone finally settled down enough, I continued. “I’m transferring in order to be able to spend more time with Maeve, Tobias, and Deanna. I’ll be teaching at the academy; I won’t even be in a different building.”

“How long have you known?” Garcia asked.

“I got the official offer this morning.” I answered. “It’s been in the works for a few weeks, but we weren’t sure.”

I answered a few more questions, but we had to begin the briefing to stay on schedule. I prepared myself for the barrage of questions as soon as it was over, but I knew this was the right choice for me.

***

Our last night on the case, it really hit me. I was leaving this team, completely changing what I’d be doing.

“Spencer,” I murmured against his lips as we cuddled, “Let’s do something dumb.”

“Like what? Sniffing open unlabeled chemicals?” He sounded confused. “Why would we do that?”

I laughed. “No, more along the lines of fucking in the office. Wouldn’t you love to be on your knees for me? You want me to bend you over your desk and fuck you?”

He moaned against my lips, “Yes, please, Mistress.”

“The office empties early on Fridays, we can stay late tomorrow. Does that work?”

He nodded.

“It’s a date,” I smiled, “Can’t wait.”

***

“You two are here late.” Hotch commented, walking out of his office. “Everything alright?”

“Just making sure everything is organized and done before I go.” I answered. “Besides, you deserve a break.”

“If you’re sure. Good luck on Monday.”

“Thank you. Say hi to Jack from us.” I smiled.

He nodded, “Absolutely.”

I kept my head down as I watched Hotch walk through the bullpen, to the elevators, and into one just about to close. I waited about a minute more, then stood, walking to Spencer’s desk.

“I know you finished half an hour ago.” I teased. “Including proofreading and double-checking your filing. You’re just pretending now.”

He smiled and leaned back in his chair, “Well, my other option was to not hide how much I want you. This seemed like the more sensible action.”

“Shut up,” I muttered, grabbing the collar of his shirt. I pulled him up into a kiss, making him stumble and fall against me.

He whined, “Please, Mistress.”

“Please what, baby?”

“Please let me taste you.” He met my eyes, looking desperate. “Please.”

I pretended to consider it, “Get on your knees.”

He dropped to his knees, looking up at me, waiting patiently. I moved to sit in his chair, making him turn to face me. I pulled up my skirt and pulled my underwear off, spreading my legs.

“Go on, baby.” I ran my hand through his hair and pulled him close. “Make your Mistress feel good.”

He was desperate, immediately latching onto my clit and humming as he pleasured me. I moaned and my hand tightened in his hair.

“Little whore,” I muttered, grinding against him. “So good for me.”

I had been aroused just thinking about what we were going to do, and came quickly, knowing Spencer wouldn’t stop until I told him to. As I came down from my orgasm, I pulled him away and stood, sitting on the desk. Spencer looked up at me, waiting for instruction.

“Stand up,” I ordered, “Pants down, you’re going to fuck me.”

He stood, unsteady at first, but quickly undid his belt and pants. His cock sprung out, hard with arousal. I pulled him into a kiss, my other hand stroking him, making him moan.

“Mistress,” he whispered, “Please let me fuck you.”

I wrapped my arms around him and shifted forward, “Fuck me, my little slut.”

He quickly positioned himself and pushed into me, making us both moan. He was desperate, hips moving quickly, desperately. I marked down his neck, not caring that the marks would be visible.

“So good for me,” I said between gasps, “Such a good little whore.”

“Thank you, Mistress,” he whined.

“Touch my clit, Spence, pleasure me,” I gasped, biting down on his neck.

He immediately did, fingers moving dexterously, knowing exactly how to bring me close to my orgasm.

“So close-“ he groaned, “Fuck- I’m so close, you feel so good, ma’am.”

“Come with me.” I answered.

We both moaned, trying to keep ourselves quiet, but it could only do so much. I felt him come, his fingers slowing on my clit as he rode out the pleasure of his orgasm. We stayed still for a few seconds, catching our breath.

“Happy last day,” Spencer murmured.

I laughed, “I will certainly not complain about this present.”

***

“Ready for your first day?” Deanna asked. “I know the first day at a new school can be scary, but,” she broke down laughing. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

I shrugged and ruffled her hair, “I’m taking you three to school first. But I’ll be picking you up today, so you’ll hear how it goes.”

“Sounds great.” She smiled.

I double-checked the papers in my bag before opening the door.

“Here’s to new beginnings,” Spencer handed me my coffee mug. “You’ve got this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is lowkey my favourite chapter so far.  
> We're almost to the end and I'm going to cry.  
> I hope you enjoy!


	66. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First week teaching.

“Everyone, sit down!” I called into the massive teaching theatre.

Immediately, they fell quiet.

“Wow, we might actually get something done today.” I joked. “My name is Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I’m going to be teaching you about staying calm in stressful situations. We’ll be discussing everything from talking people down from rooftops to dealing with someone who is holding a gun to your head and has a bomb strapped to them.”

There were some murmurs.

“I’ve done both, before you ask.” I knew that was the next question. “And I will be discussing those situations, but before we do that, I want to understand why all of you are here. I’m going to go down the roll and call last names. Please answer with the first name you’d like to be called, even if it isn’t your legal name. If you say something inappropriate, I will put you in the hallway. And don’t even try to say something in another language.”

There were a few students who said they used different names, and I made notes on the folder containing the class list.

“Before we begin, I’d like to tell you a little bit more about myself. I already told you my name, but before I began teaching at the academy, I was in the Behavioral Analysis Unit, or BAU. Our team focuses on creating psychological profiles for unsubs, or unknown subjects, and tracking them down that way. One thing you must understand is that a profile is always a guide, not a perfect template. We have been wrong before.”

A student raised their hand. “Ma’am?”

“It’s Agent.” I corrected. “Or you can just use my name, but you will not call me ma’am or Mrs. anything. What’s your question?”

“What’s the scariest case you’ve been on?”

I thought for a second, “I dealt with the girlfriend of a previous unsub who wired herself into a bomb to get me alone, then brought me outside in front of my entire team and tried to execute me. She shot my neck.” I pulled down the collar of my shirt slightly, revealing the silvery wound. “My team was speaking to me through my earpiece, but I couldn’t respond. That was probably the scariest.”

There were quiet murmurs, sounds of amazement.

“I fully thought I was going to die, and it’s only because my team moved quickly and efficiently under pressure that I didn’t. Part of being calm under pressure is trusting others. That’s actually today’s lesson.”

***

A few students approached me after class, either with questions or to ask me more about the case (which we’d nicknamed the Wonderland case at the BAU). Once everyone filed out, I shuffled my papers, preparing for my next class, when I heard a shuffling sound. I looked up to see the person who’d asked me a question earlier, still sitting.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked.

They looked up, “Oh, sorry, I’m in your next class too. Do you need me to leave?”

I shook my head, “No, don’t worry about it.”

“Were you really in that situation? It’s not something you made up to impress us?”

I shook my head. “True story. We were dealing with a kidnapper; we thought the unsub was male. We found the warehouse where the victims were being kept and tortured, found three girls and our undercover agent tied up. The agent and two of the girls got out, but the third was wired to a bomb. I told my team to evacuate and get a bomb squad. I managed to get the bomb, which was wired into her dress, off and exploded it safely away from us, but she stole my gun. She told me she was the girlfriend of someone I’d killed on a previous case after he shot me – that’s my other major stress story. She brought me outside, made me get on my back, and almost killed me. She shot at the same time one of my team members shot her, she barely missed killing me. I was in a coma for two weeks; I was legally dead several times.” Before I’d started teaching, I’d decided I’d be honest about this case; lying wouldn’t do anyone any good.

“And you stayed with the FBI?”

I nodded. “I saved two girls and one of my closest friends that night.”

We both were silent for a few seconds.

“What do you want to do?” I asked. “What part of the FBI?”

“I actually want to be a profiler.” They smiled shyly, “I got really interested in criminal psychology in college and decided this was the best way to continue with that.”

“Profile me.” I invited. “Show me what you’ve got.”

They sat up, excited now. “Okay. You’re married, clear by the ring, but you didn’t say anything about your husband, which means you don’t want to say too much in an FBI setting. He’s probably another agent. Your other gunshot was on your left side, I think, you touch your scar when you’re thinking. You’ve got at least one little kid, maybe two – there are light stains on your pants, and you keep your hair pulled back in a way that can’t be pulled easily, and you’re not wearing dangling earrings.”

I was surprised. “Anything else?”

They thought for a few seconds, looking me over. “It’s your first day teaching.” She finally said.

“How do you figure that?” I was fascinated by her skill.

“Your bag is an old style, but it’s new. Your folders are color coordinated and meticulously organized, and you’re playing with your bracelet. Fiddling is more common when you’re nervous; for example, first day at a new job. How did I do?”

I almost laughed, “You have me figured out better than some people I’ve known for years. My husband is Dr. Spencer Reid, he’s in the BAU. My gunshot was on my left side, but I never noticed that I touch the scar when I’m thinking, I’m impressed. I have two little kids, they’re 14 months old. And yes, it is my first day teaching.”

Their eyes widened, “Seriously? Four for four?”

I nodded. “Remind me your name?”

They smiled nervously, “Marisa Harper, I go by M. I use they/them pronouns, by the way.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you, M.” I smiled and wrote a quick note to myself. “Ready for your second class?”

“If it’s as interesting as your first, absolutely.”

***

“So, what you’re telling me is, you already have a teacher’s pet.” Deanna teased.

I rolled my eyes, “They’re just a promising student.”

“That’s a yes.” She said in a teasing, sing-song voice. “I thought Spence was the teacher’s pet.”

“Spencer is my husband.” I corrected.

“Same difference.”

***

It felt wonderful being able to eat dinner with the kids, help Deanna with her homework, and just be home for them. It didn’t feel like being a housewife – just being a happy mom. The team had already flown out on another case, so that night, I curled up around a pillow wrapped in one of Spencer’s shirts.

“Hey,” I whispered. “I think you’d really like to see me teach. There are some wonderful students, and I love being home with the kids. It feels good to be at home.”

_I’m seriously talking to my husband who’s across the country._

“I hope you’re staying safe, and I love you so much.” I knew he’d say it back immediately if he was here. “Good night, Spence.”

***

By the end of the week, I’d found a few students who, while couldn’t officially be my favorites, were definitely the most promising; they showed a willingness to learn and an aptitude for the material that impressed me.

“Today, you’re going to be interrogating me.” I announced as the class quieted down. “You’ll be in pairs, and each pair will be randomly given a profile and case, so I don’t know exactly what you’re accusing me of before you do it. These are all cases I have worked with the BAU, adapted slightly for this class. You have two minutes to get into pairs, starting now.”

I glanced at my watch as students began rushing around, finding friends or good students to work with. I paid little attention, just waiting until the two minutes were up before walking around, passing out the fake, unlabeled case files. I heard some laughter as the students read through them; Deanna had picked fake names for each case, and I had no idea what she’d chosen.

“You have twenty minutes to prepare and come up with a strategy. Each folder had a number; I’ll have a random number generator choose who goes when.” I told the class from my position on the teaching stage. “Get started.”

I sat at my desk going through essays from my other class as the groups started planning. I only got through one in the twenty minutes; as the timer rang, the class fell silent.

“Let’s begin.” I smiled, walking to the computer. “Take notes on what other groups do well, or don’t do well. You should be helping each other. First group is case 15.”

I’d arranged a table and three chairs to mimic the classic interrogation room setting on the stage. I took my place as the students approached, slouching a little, waiting.

One student – John, I think – stood ‘outside’ the room, while the other – Steven? – walked in, dropping the closed file on the table and taking a seat. I saw a hint of a smile as he began.

“Your name is Joanne Kathleen Rowling, correct?” He asked, making the class laugh.

I snorted before getting back into character. “What’s it to you?”

“It’s a yes or no question, Joanne.” He snapped.

“Yes, my name is J. K. Rowling.” I leaned forward. “Is that all you’re here for?”

More laughter from the class, but Steven kept his eyes on me. About two minutes in, his partner ‘burst in’, angry.

“I told you not to come in here without me!” John snapped.

“I was getting somewhere with her,” Steven responded angrily.

I was surprised but kept quiet.

“You could have messed up the entire case!” John continued. “You disclosed more than you should have.”

_Oh, this case._

“Don’t worry boys, I knew it already.” I leaned back casually, “Nothing new.”

“How did you know?” John asked, turning to me.

I smiled, “The press has ears everywhere, _Agent_.”

Within a minute, they had a ‘confession’. That had been one of my first cases – I was playing the dumb newbie, Hotch came in, and we had a confession in no time at all.

“Although our interrogation transcripts are part of the file, I’d advise you to ignore them.” I turned to the class, “Those are meant to help give you details, not to be a guide.”

There were some concerned murmurs from the class.

“Let me guess, that was the plan of every group?” I sighed, “Just do what we did? Any group that didn’t do that, please raise your hand.”

Only one group did, but I couldn’t see faces clearly.

“Wonderful, you two, come down and demonstrate. Every other group will have until next class to devise their own strategy for getting a confession out of me.” I beckoned to the group with their hands raised.

As they came into the light, I realized it was two of my star students; M and another student, Scarlet, who was basically a mini Penelope Garcia (if Garcia had stayed in her punk/emo phase). I smiled and sat, waiting.

Scarlet was first, standing and leaning over the table.

I smiled sarcastically and sat back, “Great, another pig.”

“More of a narc,” she corrected coldly, “You got the attention of the FBI, sweetie.”

“Ooh, shiver me timbers.” I raised my eyebrows in a challenge, “They sent you in here to break me before the big boys come in and do their work?”

“No, I’m in here because that’s my wife you shot, and I wanted the first punch.” She answered sweetly.

 _Oh, shit._ There were only a few cases directly connected to members of the team: factoring in the word _wife_ , we were down to either Mr. Scratch, Russel Steele, or Wonderland. Now it made sense that they didn’t use the script; there was none.

“Aww, you’re going to play that card? Well, she deserved it.” I spat. “Cry me a damn river.”

She ignored my taunt, instead taking a seat. “You made a mistake, Ms. Treaty.”

 _Oh. Oh, fuck._ I forgot I’d included this case, with the change that Alice didn’t die. And apparently, Deanna had chosen the _one fictional name_ linked to this case.

“And what was that?” I asked mockingly, playing off the false confidence of them not knowing my name.

“You missed.” Scarlet smiled, almost evilly. “My wife is alive. Your final hurrah, and you failed.”

I scoffed, keeping myself in the headspace of my would-be murderer. “Bullshit. I shot her in the head.”

“You missed.”

She’d be angry now, really, really angry. “That bitch shot my boyfriend! We were going to have a life together!”

“Russel Steele was a pathetic piece of shit who couldn’t even kill an agent properly, and neither can you.” Scarlet’s voice was quiet, calm, measured, even when she cursed. “You failed, Alyss, you failed to save your boyfriend and failed to kill those girls and failed to both blow up and shoot my wife.”

“I’m going to be a legend in prison,” I hissed. “No one will care about those girls, not even the ones I killed. I tried to kill an FBI agent, and that will make me a damn celebrity.”

Scarlet smiled and stood, and I realized what I’d said. What _she’d_ said. I sat back in shock.

“What was your plan if that didn’t work?” I managed to ask. “M didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, I was going to be you.” They answered. “If that didn’t work, the wife – you – would walk in.”

I nodded. “It’s a good strategy. Well done.” Then I turned to the rest of the class, “You’re lucky it’s a Friday. You have until Monday to have a strategy, and I will know if it’s the one from your case or someone else’s. These are guides, not scripts. Next time, you’ll be given a case without that, so be ready. Class dismissed.”

I quickly gathered my folders and tucked them in my bag as the class filed out, talking quietly. I rushed out the other door and to the elevators, hitting the button for the floor the BAU was on. I fought to keep my breath calm.

The doors opened and I looked in the bullpen, but no one was there, so I rushed down the hall to Garcia’s office. She turned as I entered, looking shocked.

“What’s going on, was class cancelled?” She asked.

I shook my head, breathing quickly.

“Hey, it’s okay, calm down.” She led me to a chair, “What happened?”

“Working with my class on interrogation,” I managed, “Gave them old BAU cases. One of them got Wonderland.”

“Oh.”

“I was the unsub.” I choked out. “I was _her._ ”

Garcia pulled me into a hug, letting me cry into her shoulder. I hadn’t realized how scared I was of her until this moment.

“Do you want to talk to Reid?” She asked quietly.

I nodded. She pulled off her headset and put it on me, but I couldn’t even say anything.

“Hey,” Spencer said, sounding worried. “Are you okay?”

“Spence,” I managed to whisper, “I fucked up.”

“What happened?”

I took a few deep breaths, “Interrogation class today, I gave them old BAU cases and I was the unsub they were interrogating.”

“That’s routine.” He sounded confused, “What’s the problem?”

“I gave someone Wonderland; I didn’t even think about it.” I cursed my own stupidity. “I had to be her, I had to be Alice.”

“Didn’t you get Deanna to come up with fake names for all the unsubs?”

I almost laughed, “She chose Alyss Treaty, she didn’t know anything about the cases when she picked the names.”

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry.” Spencer whispered, “I- what do you need me to do?”

“I just feel like an idiot.” I muttered. “This is my damn fault anyways.”

“Hey, it was an honest mistake. She was just inputting names, there was no way you could have known.” He assured me. “We’ll be home tonight, okay?”

“Okay.” I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “Okay.”

***

I met them at the airport, still a little shaken. Spencer was off first, right into my arms. He held me tight, and I breathed in the smell of him, the reassuring scent of coffee mixed with… who knows what, but it smelled like him.

“Better?” He asked after at least a minute.

I nodded, “Better.”

I greeted the rest of the team, but they’d clearly been given some hint of what was going on, because they greeted me quietly, allowing Spencer to hold me close. He walked me to the car, helping me into the passenger seat before driving home. Jenna had picked up the kids and brought them home, while Deanna was out with some friends. Spencer helped me into the house and to the bedroom, laying me down gently. I had enough of a crying headache that I couldn’t deal with the light or noise, and just needed sleep.

Once the kids were asleep, Spencer came to bed and curled around me, fingers combing gently through my hair. I smiled and pushed back into him a little, happy to have him with me.

“Better?” He asked quietly.

I hummed and nodded, “I’m sorry about today.”

“You made a mistake. It’s the end of only your first week of teaching, give yourself a break.”

“They’re good interrogators,” I laughed a little, “They broke me pretty quickly.”

He chuckled a little, “Which students were these?”

“I told you about M, right?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“It was another good student, their friend Scarlet.” I said. “If Scarlet couldn’t do it, M was going to come in and pretend to be me, since the details of the case were changed for the interrogation. I’m impressed with their tactic.”

“That’s clever.” He agreed. “They sound like good students.”

I hummed. “They are, M profiled me on the first day.”

“How well?”

“Got that I was married to an FBI agent, that I was shot on my left side, that I had two little kids, and that I was a new teacher. All within one class period.”

“Have you told Hotch about her?” He asked. “That’s amazing.”

“I’m going to talk to him on Monday.” I agreed. “She still has a lot to learn, but she’s a promising student.”

“But I’m still the teacher’s pet, right?” Spencer joked.

I sighed, “Did Deanna tell you to say that?”

He laughed, “Maybe.”

“Brats.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me posting twice in one day? It's more likely than you think.


	67. Teacher's Pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More teaching! More smut!

“Hey, Deanna, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” I said, peeking into her room. “Are you busy right now?”

She shook her head and closed her computer, “No, what’s going on?”

“So, do you remember the case I told you about, the reason I got shot in the neck?” I asked, walking in to sit on her bed next to her.

She nodded, “Yeah, what about it?”

“So, I didn’t give you all the details. It’s not anything bad, I just thought you should know what happened.” I took a deep breath. “So, I went into the warehouse with Morgan. Spencer was with Hotch and JJ at a different entrance. We found Emily and three girls tied up. I let Emily go and went to help the other girls. The one I went to was wired into a bomb. I told Em and Morgan to get out and stayed with the girl.”

“I remember, you made Hotch get Spencer out and Morgan cuffed him to a car, right?” She asked. “He’s still mad about that.”

I nodded, “I knew he’d run into the building to try to save me. It was the only way I could think of to keep him safe. I got the dress off the girl and tossed it down the hall, it exploded safely away from it. But the girl stole my gun.”

“She was the unsub?”

I nodded. “She identified herself as Alyss Treaty, but Spencer realized it was a fake name. He warned me, but it was too late.”

“I remember the rest of the story.” Deanna cut in, “She brought you outside and shot you, she only missed because Aaron shot her at the same time.”

I nodded. “So, earlier this week, I asked you to come up with fake names for unsubs for my class. I couldn’t give you details, but one of the names you used was-“

“Alyss Treaty. Fuck.” Deanna cursed. “Let me guess, it was randomly assigned to the one case it was linked to.”

“Bingo.” I shrugged, “It’s okay, I had a minor anxiety attack but I’m okay now. I just wanted to tell you what happened so you’re aware of that as a trigger.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Deanna clearly felt awful. “I never wanted to hurt you like that.”

“I know. It’s okay, Deanna. Like I said, it was minor, and I’m okay now. The team is aware of things like this, we all have issues and triggers, and I have coping mechanisms.” I touched her arm gently. “I just wanted you to know.”

“Thank you for telling me. I’m so sorry.”

I pulled her into a hug, “It’s okay. Really. Thank you for apologizing, but you really were just doing what I asked you to do. And I love that series, I can’t blame you.”

“Promise you’re okay?” She asked.

“I promise.” I held out my pinky finger.

She laughed and intertwined her pinky with mine.

“Now, get back to homework, and holler if you need help, okay?” I asked.

“Ugh, _fine_ ,” Deanna grumbled dramatically.

We both laughed, and I felt the weight lift off my shoulders.

***

Before class on Monday, I was getting ready for class when I saw someone walk in.

“Can I help you?” I asked, unable to see exactly who it was.

“Yeah, I just have a question.” It was M, now coming down the stairs. “Is this an okay time?”

“Yeah, of course, what’s up?” I asked, walking off the stage to greet them.

They hesitated for a second, “I noticed that you seemed tense at the end of class yesterday, and you left really quickly. Plus, you were breathing quickly.”

“Yeah, you’re going to be a good profiler.” I chuckled a little. “You got the case you asked about on day one, I’m sure you noticed.”

They nodded.

“The unsub falsely identified herself as Alyss Treaty when I thought she was a victim; we didn’t realize it was a fake name in time. I wanted to use fake names because it would help avoid any personal triggers, but I managed to mess that up. One of my kids picked a bunch of fake names, and because the universe is a bitch, it happened.”

“I thought we were just really good interrogators.” They laughed.

I shrugged, “That too, you broke me super quickly, and you would have even without that. You did well.”

They smiled a little, “Really?”

I nodded. “Really. You’re a promising student, M.”

They smiled a little, “Thank you.”

“Of course. Now sit down and get ready to watch your classmates try to break me.” I smiled at them, “I’ll be collecting notes after, so be detailed. Be critical. Being nice doesn’t help anyone.”

“Yes, Agent.”

***

“I want to create false scenarios to test my students,” I explained, “We have the training rooms, and enough teachers to create a few scenarios, and they should experience at least a semblance of the real thing.”

The director of the academy thought for a second, “Do you think they’re ready?”

“You can’t be sure.” I answered honestly. “You really never know, but we won’t make it too intense. It’s a way to test their progress.”

He thought for a second, then nodded. “Send all the scenarios to me, I’ll approve them all before you begin.”

I nodded, “Yes, Sir, I’ll have those over as soon as possible.”

“And I want a list of your best students.” He told me. “Just their names and IDs. We like to keep tabs on the promising ones.”

I nodded, “Yes, Sir. I have a personal list already, so I’ll be able to send that immediately.”

“Good. One last thing.” He started as I was about to turn to leave. “We have a few school groups coming by on Wednesday. Their schedule works with yours, so can you give a short presentation on your career with the FBI, the regular spiel?”

“Of course, I’d be happy to.” I smiled. “The whole ‘join the FBI’ bit?”

“Exactly. Thank you. Dismissed.”

I turned and left, pulling out my phone to send him an email with the student names, barely looking where I was going. I walked into the teaching theatre where I’d left my materials for my afternoon class. It was only when I finished sending the email and was about to sit down when I looked up to see Spencer sitting on my chair, smiling at me.

“Spence!” I exclaimed, “What are you doing here?”

“What, I can’t visit my wife at her fancy teacher job?” He teased, pulling me into a hug and kiss.

I laughed and kissed him back, “Don’t you have your own job, Supervisory Special Agent Doctor Spencer Reid?”

He rolled his eyes, but I could see the smile on his face.

“Don’t you have a case to be working on?” I asked.

Spencer shook his head, “Apparently, the killers are taking Monday off. We’re just doing paperwork. I finished mine.”

“Of course, you did.” I laughed, “I have a class in ten minutes, Spence.”

“Damn.” He muttered, “I was hoping for some teacher/student time.”

“We’ve been over this, you’re not my student, that’s why this relationship is okay.” I corrected him, hiding my laugh. “But I have some time after class?”

“Wonderful.” He smiled and turned to walk off the stage. “I’ll sit in the back of class.”

“Oh, no, you won’t.” I grabbed his arm. “If you’re going to be here anyways, I’m using you as an interrogation dummy.”

He groaned but stayed. The class began filing in, meaning we couldn’t be affectionate, but I knew he enjoyed teaching and didn’t really mind.

“Settle down!” I called, making the class quiet immediately. “Thank you. For those of you who weren’t able to practice your interrogation scenarios this morning, you’re going to be doing those now. But before we get to that, we have a guest. This is SSA Dr. Spencer Reid, my former colleague in the BAU.”

Spencer waved from his place at my desk chair.

“Dr. Reid worked almost every case we’ve discussed in this class and was on every case you’ve got in those folders. Instead of me, you’ll be interrogating him.”

There were some surprised murmurs.

“Now, I know we’ve discussed the difference between male and female unsubs, and you may have to adapt your strategy slightly. However, I won’t be giving you any time to prepare, as sometimes you have to change on the fly.” I smiled at Spencer. “Alright, who’s going first?”

One group raised their hand, and I beckoned for Spencer to move to the ‘interrogation room’. I sat back, knowing this wasn’t even the first time he’d been in false scenarios like this. I was able to sit back and take extra notes on the performance of my students, and Spencer got to have fun doing something different.

When the last group finished, I stood and motioned for them to return to their seats. “Well done, everyone. I want you all to collect the notes you should have been taking the entire time. You have two minutes to finish writing them, come up, staple them, and hand them in. It’s okay if there’s just one set of notes for your group, just put both names on.”

The students quickly turned in their notes and left. A few students approached and asked questions about their performance, but I just told them I’d be distributing notes over email or next class. Spencer just hung back until the last student left, then walked up behind me.

“You’re a very sexy teacher,” he muttered in my ear, pulling my hips back against him.

“And you’re a very useful demonstration dummy.” I teased, turning to face him. “Thank you, Spence.”

“Happy to help.” He kissed me. “You don’t have any more classes today?”

I shook my head, “Nope, that’s it. I just had a double period today because of the interrogation scenarios.”

“So, we have this entire teaching theatre to ourselves?” He asked, kissing down my neck.

I hummed, “Spence, you do realize those doors don’t lock, right?”

“Does anyone ever walk in?”

I smiled, “Never.” I pulled him back up into a kiss, backing up to the desk without even looking behind me. I ran one hand through his hair and pulled his head back, kissing down his neck.

“Fuck,” Spencer ran his hands up and down my legs, playing with the hem of my skirt, “I want you so fucking bad.”

I shifted and managed to pull my skirt up, pushing my underwear off. Immediately, Spencer’s hands were at his belt, pushing his pants and underwear down, pulling me forward.

“This is so wrong,” I muttered against his lips, “I had to sign a code of conduct basically promising I wouldn’t do this.”

Spencer laughed a little, “Fuck that.”

I reached down to stroke Spencer, guiding his hips towards me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him close, Spencer’s tip brushing my clit.

“Fuck me, Spencer,” I growled into his ear, legs tightening around him.

“Yes, ma’am,” Spencer groaned, pushing into me. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“So good for me, my little slut, so fucking good.” I moaned. “Fuck, yes, my pretty little slut.” I clawed at his neck and back, struggling to keep my volume under control.

“Mistress, you feel so good,” he gasped, biting at my neck.

I grabbed Spencer’s collar and pulled him into a kiss, reaching down with my other hand to play with my clit. I moaned against his lips and clenched around his cock, making him moan and move faster.

“Ma’am- ma’am, I’m going to cum,” Spencer stuttered, “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“Wait, not yet, wait until I can cum with you,” I ordered, hand tightening around his collar, fingers moving faster.

Spencer reached down, pushing my hand aside, fingers moving in time with his thrusts, allowing me to lean back in pleasure.

“Fuck, Spence,” I moaned, “So good for me, feels so good…”

“Mistress, I can’t hold back much longer.” He gasped in response. “Please, please, please let me cum.”

I nodded breathlessly, “Cum with me, Spencer.”

He groaned and thrust deep, pulling my hips close with one hand, fingers unceasing against my clit. I bit on my lip and moaned loudly as I came, feeling him cum inside me.

“Fuck,” I panted once I could catch my breath. “Holy shit, that was so fucking good.”

Spencer laughed, “No kidding.”

I leaned forward and kissed him, smiling. “I love you so much, Spencer Reid.”

“I love you too,” he kissed me happily. “Thank you.”

I hummed and nodded, “Anything for you, my love.” I looked around, realizing my papers were on the floor and it was a bit of a mess. “Help me clean up?”

“Anything for you, my love.” He answered, repeating my exact tone.

***

I finished my morning classes, then organized myself and went over my presentation for the school groups. High school juniors and seniors from some local schools were touring the FBI – after all, we start recruiting early. It had been requested that I (1) avoid mentioning that I’d been shot twice, and (2) avoid mentioning my relationship with another agent. Fair enough.

**_Message from: Daddy <3  
_ ** **Good luck on your presentations. Kisses from San Francisco.**

**_Message to: Daddy <3  
_ ** **Kisses from Quantico. Now focus on catching the killer**

**_Message from: Daddy <3  
_ ** **Yes, ma’am ;)**

I sighed, holding back a smile. As I slipped my phone back into my pocket, the doors opened and students began filing in, talking and laughing. The teachers hushed them and guided them into seats. I just sat on the edge of my desk, waiting. Three other groups walked in, filling up most of the large theatre – my classes stayed in the front three rows. I sighed and walked to the light panel, adjusting the lights so I’d better be able to see everyone. Once I was satisfied, I walked back up on stage, hand drifting to my badge, then up to my stomach scar.

“Good afternoon, everyone.” I said, voice easily carrying to the back of the theatre, “My name is Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N), but I don’t really care about what you call me. Today, I’m going to talk to you about a career in the FBI.”

“Freakin’ narc!” Someone yelled.

I looked, but I couldn’t see exactly who said it. I decided I didn’t care. “It is true that part of a job with the Bureau is tracking down drug traffickers and similar criminals, but we actually mostly leave that to the DEA, or specific taskforces.”

“You’re still a narc!” That was the same voice.

I sighed, fully standing up. “I worked tracking down serial killers, including those who killed teenagers like you. I have faced criminals who killed _hundreds_ of people. Call me a narc again.”

Silence.

“That’s what I thought.” I walked across the stage. “As I mentioned, I worked tracking down spree and serial killers. Can anyone tell me the difference between spree and serial killers?” I saw a few hands raised and pointed to one. “Yes, in the back.”

“A spree killer is defined as someone who commits two or more murders without a cooling-off period. A serial killer kills two more people over the span of over a month. Mass murders kill five or more at once.” They said confidently.

“Someone’s been watching true crime TV.” I laughed. “Yes, you’re correct. We investigated all three. I worked as part of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, BAU for short. We worked to profile serial killers’ psychology and build a profile from there.” I saw a raised hand. “Yes?”

“What do you mean you worked for the BAU?” They asked. “Past tense?”

“Good ear. Yes, I now teach at the FBI academy about interrogation techniques and remaining calm in high stress situations. And before anyone brings it up, we do not use waterboarding.” I saw a few hands drop.

“What kind of high stress situations?” Someone else asked.

“I talk about talking people out of suicide, talking down gunmen, dealing with bombers, victims in high stress situations, we cover all the possibilities. You never know what you’re going to be dealing with.” I had to be honest about that.

There was silence for a few seconds, so I took the opportunity to begin talking about my journey to the FBI, the degrees I earned and the training I went through. I talked about my first case, looking back wistfully. I’d been so young, so ready to change the world. Really, I still believed I could – and I had.

“Are there any questions?” I asked. “Don’t be afraid to ask anything.”

A few people raised hands; most questions were about the danger and thrill of the job, a few about specific FBI incidents (most of which I couldn’t answer). Close to the end of the time, there was just one hand in the back; I couldn’t see the face of the student.

“What’s the scariest part of being part of the FBI?”

I took a deep breath, thinking carefully. “I have three kids, two infants and a teenager. The scariest part of being in the field is being away from my kids, but I know that everyone I save is someone else’s kid, and that makes it all worth it.”

***

“C’mon, it’s been two weeks at your new job, you deserve a night to relax, have a drink, and tell us about it.” Emily encouraged. “Plus, we haven’t had a girls’ night in forever.”

I smiled, despite my sigh, “Fine. Spencer and Deanna can handle the kids.”

“Exactly!” Garcia agreed.

“I’ve been having issues with alcohol recently, I’ll drive.” JJ volunteered. “Keeps giving me awful headaches.”

“So you have no excuses.” Emily smiled at me. “Girls’ night is on!”


	68. Private Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girl's night out and relaxation

“Spence, are you sure you’re okay with me going out?” I asked as I picked out an outfit.

He flicked me, “That’s literally the thirteenth time you’ve asked. You deserve a break and I can handle the kids. Have fun with your friends, jeez.”

I pulled out a strapless dress with a corset-style top and a knee-length skirt, one of Spencer’s favorites.

“Tease,” he muttered.

I smiled and pulled it on, turning so he could zip it up for me. He did, then trailed his hands down my chest and pulled me back against him.

“My wife.” He growled.

I smiled and turned around to kiss him, “Yours.”

“Don’t have too much fun tonight.” He teased.

***

Of course, we couldn’t just go out for a normal drinking night, so we ended up at the club where Jenna worked, the Camelot Showbar (even though it was a longer drive than most other bars we could’ve gone to). Garcia had booked a table right next to the stage, giving us a perfect view.

“JJ, calm down,” I slid her a drink as a girl who I didn’t recognize came onstage. “Just because you’re not into chicks doesn’t mean you can’t look at their asses.”

“I’ll drive home, Jay,” Garcia leaned in, “I’m happy to enjoy this sober. Just relax a little.”

She sighed and downed the drink. “Just give me champagne or something light for the rest of the night, okay?”

We all agreed. I pulled out my wallet and pulled out the bills I had; although you could tip with your card, I knew from talking to Jenna that the girls preferred cash. I leaned back and sipped my drink, knowing Garcia had picked something I liked.

We all lounged over each other, throwing cash at the stage, whistling, and making jokes. Even JJ got in on it, somewhat timidly admiring the looks of the girls; but as the night went on, she became more confident, to all of our amusement.

“Do you know if Jenna’s dancing tonight?” I asked Garcia over the music.

She nodded, “Yeah, she should be on soon.”

I smiled, satisfied, requesting another drink as one of the waitresses came through. I smiled at her – we’d met when the team was here for the case. I was sure there was some comfort in knowing there were FBI agents there, albeit slightly drunk FBI agents, for if anything went downhill.

Garcia leaned in, speaking loudly into my ear to be heard over the noise of the club. “Okay, so last girls’ night, you kissed me. What’s going to happen tonight?”

“We’ve already fucked, Pen, I don’t know what you’re expecting.” I laughed, “Or are you that forgetful?”

“Oh, I’m not forgetting that any time soon.” She assured me, “But I do have a question.”

I finished my drink, passing the waitress a drink and she brought me another. “Okay, shoot.”

“Why are you so willing to be in power and have responsibility over the mental and physical health of one or more people during scenes, but you won’t give up that control to others? Isn’t the whole thing that people in power like giving it up?”

I took a large drink and passed some cash on stage to avoid responding, but I knew I could only evade the answer for so long. “People trust me because I have the training and reputation in the community. They have low standards and less trauma. That’s not me.”

“Why not me?” Garcia pouted dramatically. “Haven’t I earned your trust?”

I looked at her seriously, turning away from the stage. “This is different, Garcia. This is my mental health and privacy in intimate ways beyond any career or individual. I’ve been burned before.”

“I know.” Her tone matched mine, growing more serious. “Part of what Hotch has me do is a full search on anyone joining the team. Beyond the normal scope of the FBI. I find everything there is on everyone.”

“So, you saw me naked before I even met you.” My voice was cold, and I suddenly felt stone-cold sober.

“I didn’t see the pictures. Just the digital footprints they left.” She answered. “And I purged those as much as I could. I found the legal side of things, I found all the documents.”

“You spied on me.”

“That’s what we do as careers!” She protested.

We take down criminals. Not spy on our colleagues.” I could feel my anger boiling. “Why are you telling me this now, Penelope?”

“Because you have a team on your side now. If that ever happened again, it would be down in an instant. I have flags set up for the entire team for anything… unsavory, and I’d never judge you for that.” She leaned closer. “You have a family with the FBI, and we’re always going to protect you. I still have flags on everything to do with Gideon, just to make sure he’s being remembered in the right way. You’re not alone, so stop thinking you are.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You still do that for him?”

“Every past agent, every alibi they’ve used, all of it.” Garcia confirmed. “You’re my family, and no one hurts my family.”

“Without consent.” I teased.

Penelope nodded sagely. “Precisely, young padawan. Now, let’s enjoy the view.”

The lights darkened as she said that, with spotlights sweeping onto the stage. Jenna’s performing name was announced, and the music began, and she started dancing out, spinning around the pole and winking at us when she spotted us. Jenna was one of the most flexible people I knew; that, combined with her upper body strength allowed her to dance elegantly around the pole, including turning fully upside down, her skirt flipping up around her hips.

“Damn, now I’m jealous she’s married.” Emily laughed.

“They’re not monogamous,” I reminded her, “It’s worth a shot.”

***

After Jenna finished her dance, she began walking the floor, stopping by our table. I was mid-conversation with Emily, but Jenna got my attention when she ran one hand down my arm and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“Hey, sexy, you come here often?” She said, somehow both laughing and maintaining her ‘seductive voice’.

I turned and raised an eyebrow, “I thought we couldn’t touch the dancers?”

“Dancer’s choice,” she answered, “You’re not touching me, honey. Hey, Penelope, Emily, JJ.”

Emily turned, whistling quietly. “You’re a damn good dancer.”

“Happy to provide your fantasies,” Jenna grinned. “There are private rooms, if you’re interested.”

“Just tell me when, cutie.” Emily answered, winking.

“Em, you don’t need to fuck all my friends.” I cut in.

“Yeah, and you don’t need to fuck the entire team.” She shot back. “But I’m not stopping you.”

I decided not to dignify that with a response.

***

Closer to the end of the night, Emily had actually gone back to get a private dance from Jenna, and JJ wandered off to the bar. Garcia and I stayed at the table, talking.

“I’m sorry about getting mad at you.” I said. “I understand why you had to scourge the internet for anything about me, it wasn’t fair to get mad at you.”

“I should’ve told you.” She shrugged. “Hotch didn’t even see it, if that helps. He just has me give him a report, it’s mostly just to understand everyone that’s coming onto the team. When I realized what happened, I just included it as something like ‘Victim in a revenge porn case, resolved’. He didn’t ask more about it.”

“You really keep flags on all of us?”

She nodded. “Like I said, I still keep tabs on everyone, even Gideon. Anything that comes up about any of us, I check.”

“You’re an angel, you know that?” I asked. “Seriously, no one expects you to do that.”

“Like I said, you’re my family. The whole team is.”

JJ walked back to us, “Hey, I think there’s a guy at the bar with roofie pills.”

“Fuck.” I muttered. “Did you get his name?”

“No, but I think I saw him drop something into a girl’s drink. I warned her, but…” JJ shrugged, “It’s probably good to double check.”

I stood, “I’ll go see if I can figure anything out, and I’ll ask the bartender if they saw anything. Garcia, keep an eye on JJ and the girl.”

JJ pointed out the guy, who was talking to the girl she’d warned. I stood and walked over to the bar, pretending to be more drunk that I was, pushing in right next to him and requesting another drink. I sighed, mentally apologized to Spencer, and leaned close to the guy.

“Hey, you.” I smiled, taking my drink from the bartender and sliding her a large tip.

He turned to me, “Do I know you?”

I shook my head, leaving my drink uncovered and in front of him, “No, but I thought you looked pretty cute.”

“Who are you here with?” He asked, looking around.

“Just some girlfriends.” I shrugged. “You?”

“No one I can’t leave alone for a night.” He dismissed.

I leaned forward further, one hand resting under my breasts to push them up further, “At least tell me your name first.”

“James,” he offered his hand.

My eyes were trained on my drink. There it was, the tiny splash, the white pill at the bottom of my glass, the slight fizz. It was barely visible since the drink was cloudy already.

“(Y/N),” I introduced myself, shaking his hand. “Do you want to step outside?”

He raised an eyebrow, “Finish your drink first, at least. Wouldn’t want to waste it.”

“I should probably tell my friends where I’m going, just so they don’t worry.” I said, picking up my drink. “Don’t run away, James.” I walked back to JJ and Garcia, maintaining my drunk act, but dropped it as soon as I sat down. “Do either of you have a bottle? We should take a sample, I watched him drug it.”

“Lean to the side, I’m going to swap your glass with my empty one.” Garcia nodded. “I always keep an extra sample bottle with me. Go outside with him, I’ll call the cops.”

“JJ, you take care of the other girl.” I suggested. “Only approach after I take him out, though.”

She nodded and I picked up the empty glass, pretending to finish it. I stood and ‘waved goodbye’ to the girls, walked back to James, and took him outside, keeping up the giggly act. I kept one hand on the bracelet I had that matched Spencer’s collar, reminding myself that I was doing it for the girl inside. Within a few minutes, the cops pulled up, Garcia rushing outside to meet them. James was confused, but as Garcia handed the sample bottle over, he realized what was happening, quickly becoming angry.

“You lying bitch,” he growled at me.

I smiled, “Yep! That’s me. Enjoy prison, asshole.”

The cops guided James to the back of the squad car, James cursing and spitting the entire time.

“Well, this isn’t how I expected tonight to go.” JJ laughed as the car pulled away. “I’m glad I noticed.”

“Let’s at least go back inside and get one last drink.” I said, “Besides, Emily’s dance should just have finished.”

We all walked back inside. The bouncer recognized us, letting us back inside, where we spotted Emily at our table.

“Hey, what happened?” She asked.

“Found shitty guy trying to roofie a girl.” I answered. “Just passed him to the cops.”

We stayed for a few more dances before leaving, piling into the back of JJ’s car.

“That was a great night,” I sighed, lounging over Emily’s lap. “Good drinks, pretty girls, and an asshole went to jail.”

“Absolutely.” Garcia agreed. “And Emily got a dance.”

“Hell yeah I did!” Emily cheered. “Jenna’s fucking hot, seriously. Worth it.”

“Remind me to invite you to a party sometime.” I looked up at her. “You’d enjoy it.”

***

“So, any proposed orgies this time?” Spencer asked as I stripped and pulled on an old sweater of his.

I shook my head, “Nah, we got a guy arrested and Emily got a dance from Jenna instead.”

“Why did you get someone arrested?” Spencer asked.

I shrugged, “Tried to drug another girl, I managed to get him to drug mine so we could get a sample and called the cops.”

“You could have just tried to have a normal night, y’know.” He laughed. “You don’t always have to be an agent.”

“JJ saw someone doing something shitty, we weren’t going to let it happen.” I said defensively.

Spencer pulled me close to him, “I’m not criticizing you.”

“I know, I’m just tired.” I sighed. “And I got pissy at Garcia earlier, which didn’t help.”

“Do I want to know?”

I turned to face Spencer, hiding in his shoulder. “We talked about my subspace and Garcia apparently found what my ex posted online.”

“Oh, fuck.” He muttered.

“I knew that they did extended background checks on us, but still.” I could feel the lump building in my throat again. “I wanted to put that behind me.”

“She’s not going to judge you for it, none of us would. All of us have been through shit, you know that.” Spencer reminded me. “She just had to do the check.”

“That was the worst part of my entire BDSM career.” I tried to cuddle closer to Spencer, even though I was fully pressed against him. “I was so scared to get back into it.”

“Why did you?” Spencer asked, wrapping his arms around me.

I took a shaky breath. “Jenna and I dated for a while, she slowly helped me back into it as a coping mechanism. I needed it for my own mental health, it helps calm me down.”

“You do realize that’s why Garcia likes it too, right? And why Morgan and Hotch and I like it. We understand why you use it.” Spencer reminded me. “We’re not going to judge you for that.”

I was silent for a few seconds.

“Hey, Spencer?” I asked.

He hummed.

“I love you.” I whispered into his shoulder. “I never want to lose you.”

“I promised myself to you, and I meant it.” He answered. “I, Spencer Reid, will stand by your side and support you in all that you do. I will remain faithful and true, act honestly, and continue my unwavering love for you until my last dying breath. And if there is, as unlikely as it is, a life beyond this one, I will uphold my vows then and there too.”

I smiled, “Your wedding vows.”

“I will always come home to you.” He promised.

“And I you,” I answered, moving up to kiss him.

He kissed me and smiled. “Better?”

I nodded, “Better.”

***

“Are you sure about this?” Spencer asked me.

I nodded. “It’s just to see how I feel about it.”

Spencer guided me onto my knees and allowed me to breathe, calming myself down as he knelt in front of me. He cupped my face, meeting my eyes as I slowly opened them.

“Color?” He asked gently.

“Green.”

Spencer reached forward, wrapping the collar around my neck, clasping it in the back. It sat gently around my neck, the weight comforting me. Spencer leaned forward to kiss me; one finger wrapped around the warm leather.

“You can relax, pet.” Spencer’s voice washed over me as I breathed. “That’s it, let go for me.”

His other hand was on my back, allowing me to relax. I tried to focus on Spencer’s voice, reminding myself that I was safe with him. _Spencer’s protecting me._ I heard Spencer shift, cradle me between his legs.

“Lean back on me, baby, it’s okay.” Spencer coaxed. “Deep breaths.”

_Spencer’s protecting me._

He ran one hand up my hip, other hand still putting weight on my collar. He kissed behind my ear, and I hummed happily and leaned back further, putting my weight against him.

“I love you,” I whispered.

I could relax, I could feel safe in his arms. _I’m safe._ The weight on my collar of his hand grounded me.

“I’m in love with you, and that’s not changing.” Spencer promised. “You’re mine.”

“Yours.” I agreed. “I’m yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter like 20 times so I hope you enjoy


	69. Simulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The simulations, and some nightmares.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of s*xual a**ault

“Okay, next week, you’re going to be doing simulations with myself and other agents.” I announced. “So, what we’ll be doing today is going over basic concepts of staying calm and negotiation under pressure. In addition, I want you each to fill out a form describing what you can and can’t deal with. If you have any major triggers, please tell me, we can avoid them.”

There were a few murmurs.

“These forms will be kept completely private and only used for this activity. They’ll be destroyed afterward.” I assured them. “And you will not be judged for what your triggers are.”

We filled the class with an open-forum discussion on dealing with stressors and negotiation, and I actually managed to sit back for a lot of the discussion. I passed out feedback from the interrogations and answered questions about the simulation, but most students formed groups to prepare on their own.

**_Message to: Penelope Garcia  
_ ** **I have a student I want you to meet – come downstairs?**

“Scarlet, can you stay back for a moment?” I called, motioning her down.

She looked up from her notes, collected her bag, and ran down the stairs and up onto the stage.

“Is anything wrong?” She asked.

I shook my head, “I’ve noticed your computer skills, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Penelope walked into the room and up on the stage. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Penelope, this is Scarlet, one of my students. Scarlet, this is Penelope Garcia, the BAU’s technical analyst. Well, really, the reason we solve our cases, ever, is because of her.”

“It’s good to meet you, Agent Garcia,” Scarlet offered her hand.

“Please, call me Penelope.” Garcia smiled. “So, what makes you special?”

“Well, based on the fact that Agent (Y/L/N) mentioned my computer skills and you’re the technical analyst, I’m guessing something to do with that.”

“That’s correct,” I laughed, “Pen, you’re looking at the student who hacked the computer system after she’d turned in her paper and changed it to be in the correct citation style. And backdated M’s paper to make it look like it was turned in on time.”

“You hacked the FBI?” Garcia asked. “Hell yeah, join the club, girl.”

They high-fived.

“Garcia, we do not condone the hacking of government databases.” I reminded her. “However, I think it might be worth it for Scarlet to shadow you, Pen. Just don’t hack the FBI again, Madam Black Queen.”

Penelope snorted. “That’s my old life, honey. For now, I’m going to steal your student and show her the works.”

“Go ahead, Scarlet, but be ready for the simulations on Wednesday.” I reminded her. “You don’t get an off just because you’re hanging out with my friend, okay?”

“Yes, Agent.” Scarlet smiled. “Thank you.”

I nodded.

***

“Simulations tomorrow,” I sighed as I curled around Spencer on Tuesday night. “I hope my students are ready.”

“You’ll have the entire team there helping out. I’ll be there with you.” He reminded me. “You’re challenging your students, it’s a good idea.”

I sighed, “I really hope you’re right.”

***

“Okay, listen up!” I called. “You’re going to get in groups of three. There are four different scenarios you can face, selected randomly. You’ll come in this door and go out the other side. Please do not communicate what scenario you faced. This is meant to test your teamwork and your strategy as an individual.”

I looked around as people began whispering and separating themselves.

“If at any time you are emotionally or physically uncomfortable to the point where you cannot continue the simulation, you may leave, but please only use this as a last resort. We want to see how far you can push yourselves and what you can do in stressful situations.” I continued. “Keep in mind, these simulations are not us as FBI agents, but as unsubs or victims. We have faced unsubs who we thought were fellow agents; if you have to think of us as agents, approach it that way.”

There were mutters of assent.

“Now, you’re all adults, so I trust you to be able to amicably separate into groups. Groups will be randomly called into rooms and scenarios. Stay calm, remember what we’ve discussed, and approach this as well as you can.”

***

I managed to get enough other agents to help with the simulations that I could sit back, watch, and take notes. Luckily, the scenarios were arranged so that no students faced anything triggering. There were varying degrees of success, from those who talked down the unsubs about as well as anyone on our team to one student who almost vomited from his nerves.

Since I’d typed up my notes, I emailed them to the students as soon after the simulations finished, with an offer to go over any of it in the teaching theatre for the rest of the day. Spencer offered to sit with me to give feedback, so we hung out, legs dangling off the stage, discussing with the few students who came in.

Close to the end of the day, M came in, holding a printout of their notes. “Hey, can we just go over how I did today, or do you need to leave?”

“It’s no problem at all, really.” I assured them. “Take a seat, let me pull your notes up and we can go over it. This is Dr. Reid, by the way, my husband.”

They offered their hand, “It’s wonderful to meet you, Dr. Reid.”

“I heard you profiled (Y/N) on the first day,” he said, politely turning down the handshake. “Well done.”

They blushed a little, “It isn’t really that hard, and they weren’t trying to hide it.”

“It’s still impressive, and from what I’ve heard, you continue to be a promising student.” Spencer responded. “Don’t hide your intelligence.”

“Easy for you to say, kid genius,” I muttered.

“We’re literally married, you cannot call me kid anymore.” He objected. “That’s not fair.”

I leaned over and kissed his cheek, “Whoops.” Then I turned back to M. “Okay, let’s go over the scenario.”

We spent the next half an hour going over how they did in the simulation, what they could’ve done better, and how they could improve. They took quick, vigorous notes on everything I said, writing with impressive speed.

“How do you take notes so fast?” Spencer asked, leaning forward to look at the page.

M looked up, “I have a system. I went through the extra reading, created shorthand for most of the glossary, and add more shorthand as it comes up in class. I then type it up later, it helps with memorization and then is understandable if other people want to see my notes.”

I raised my eyebrows, “That’s impressive, you had a system before class started?”

They nodded. “I read most of the suggested additional readings so I could understand all the terminology. It only took me a day.”

“Reid, are you sure you didn’t have a secret child a while ago?” I teased.

He laughed, “I’m sure. I am impressed, though.”

I looked back at M, who was fiddling with their pen, looking a little uncomfortable, but also curious.

“What’s on your mind, M?” I asked.

The looked down, then up at Spencer. “Excuse me for asking, but what were you addicted to?”

We both looked at them in surprise.

“What did you say?” Spencer asked.

They stuttered, “I didn’t mean to be offensive, I just-”

“How did you know?” He interrupted. “Have you been profiling me this entire time?”

M looked extremely embarrassed now. “I- I guess it’s just habit at this point. Profiling kind of helps with the social anxiety, if you understand people. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“No, I don’t care that you profiled me. Back up. How did you know?” Spencer was fixated on them.

“Your sleeves are rolled up,” they gestured at his arm, “You normally keep them down, especially around other agents or students, but they were rolled up since you two were in here alone. I know what the marks look like. It wasn’t profiling so much as knowing the signs, I guess.”

“What else have you figured out?” Spencer asked, now fascinated with them. “Go on, it’s okay, tell me. I’m curious.”

They seemed to realize Spencer was like me; eager to figure out how much they could do.

“You started the FBI at a young age and you still feel the need to prove yourself. You haven’t replaced your ID badge in forever, it’s still an old picture.” They explained. “Also, you’re probably still called kid by your team, even though you’re an adult by now. You want to be the best parent you can be – you’ve got crayon and marker stains on your hands and arms, likely from your little kids. You probably had parental problems, so you want to break the cycle.” They seemed to want to say something else but stopped there.

“What’s the last thing?” I asked.

They looked at me, “What do you mean?”

“You profiled something else. What?” I repeated.

“Agent Reid is the submissive partner in your relationship.” They said quickly.

I raised an eyebrow, “How’d you get that one?” No use denying it.

“It’s just the way you two interact. There’s no single way to pinpoint it.” They shrugged.

“I told you they were impressive.” I smiled at Spencer.

He laughed, “As the BAU’s resident genius, I am impressed.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” They hid a proud smile. “What were you addicted to?”

“Dilaudid, or hydromorphone. I was kidnapped by an unsub with dissociative identity disorder. Two of the alters tortured me, but one gave me drugs to help the pain. It took a long time to recover.” Spencer answered honestly. “As I said, I’m impressed you managed to get all that.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve seen those marks, it wasn’t the hardest to notice.” They shrugged, a sad smile on their face. “I’m glad you’re clean, and I’m pretty sure your wife is, too.”

“Yeah, I am.” I smiled and kissed his cheek. “Please don’t spread that, though, M. The Bureau knows about his addiction, but we don’t want information like that to be public knowledge, partially for the sake of the team.”

“I won’t. I promise.” They said sagely. “I’m sorry about that.”

Spencer shook his head, “You’re here to learn about profiling, don’t apologize for practicing and using your skill. Like I said, I’m impressed.”

***

“Hey, Hotch,” I called as I spotted him in the parking lot. “I’ve got a student I think you might be interested in. Profiled Spence and I amazingly in no time at all. You should consider taking them on a case, see how they do in the field.”

He looked interested. “How did they do in the simulations today?”

“Really well. I’ve been consistently impressed with them.”

“Send me their assessments.” He smiled at me. “I’m having dinner with Jack tonight, but I’ll look over it tomorrow.”

***

“We should get the kids out of the house this weekend,” I said as Spencer and I crawled into bed. “It’s been too long.”

“Mm,” he was already half asleep, “Just tell Jenna we’re going to fuck, she’ll get them out in an instant.”

I laughed, “You’re not wrong. Oh, she gave Emily a dance the other night.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Spencer laughed, “They’re probably going to fuck.”

“They’re definitely going to fuck.”

I cuddled Spencer closer, letting him turn so I could wrap around him, one leg over his hip as I nuzzled into his neck. I nipped at the spot behind his ear, making him whine.

“Tease.” He groaned.

“Brat.”

***

_He backed me up against the wall, eyes on fire with anger and passion. I felt my heart drop in my chest, but I tried to regain control._

_“Step down.” I tried to sound authoritative, but my voice shook. “Get away.”_

_His eyes flashed. “Make me. Bitch.”_

_I balled my fists. “Step. Off. Now. We didn’t discuss this.”_

_We both knew he was stronger than me._

_“Get on your knees.” He growled._

_I didn’t._

_“Knees, now!” He screamed._

_Maybe if I do it, he’ll stop._

_I slowly got to my knees, back and feet pressed to the wall. He laughed derisively._

_“Is that all it takes to flip the script?” He pulled my hair hard, so hard my head almost hit the wall. “Pathetic.”_

_“Stop.” My nails were digging into my palms._

_“No.”_

_I looked him in the eyes. “Yellow. Red. Stop this, now, let me go. You do not have my consent.”_

_He jerked my head to the side, causing me to fall, curling on the floor. He towered over me. “I don’t care.”_

_I found the videos and photographs he’d posted everywhere he could. My full name, my private information, my phone number and email. Every platform he could, there was my body, my face. He blurred himself out. I did everything I could, I got a lawyer and contacted the platforms and got it taken down, but it was too late. The messages flooded in, disgusting creeps thinking I was up for grabs, I wasn’t anything more than a piece of meat._

_We went to court. I sat, I testified._

_“You allowed him to take these videos, did you not?” His lawyer asked._

_“If you look at the contract that we both signed, ma’am, it states that those are explicitly for personal use, and may not be released without the consent of both parties.” I fought to keep my voice calm. “In addition, he posted the videos with captions essentially stating they were posted as revenge porn.”_

_I knew she was judging me. The entire courtroom was._

_He was charged, but I saw his smile as he was taken away. He knew he’d destroyed me._

“Hey, wake up.” The voice echoed from far away.

_“Bitch.”_

“(Y/N), wake up. You’re okay, you’re safe.” It sounded closer.

_“Pathetic.”_

There were hands on me.

_“I don’t care.”_

These hands were different. He was harsh, always rough, nails against flesh. These hands were soft, gentle. Barely brushing my skin, careful.

“You’re safe, it’s okay.” There was the voice again; it wasn’t _him_ ; it was someone else.

I managed to force my eyes open to see Spencer sitting next to me, one hand on my arm, looking worried.

“What-” I choked out. “What’s going on?”

“You had a nightmare. You were thrashing around, you kept calling out our safewords.” His hand was on my cheek. “What happened?”

I tried to sit up, pulling myself into Spencer’s lap. “I… Remember the guy I told you about? Who tried to get me to submit?”

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t had a nightmare about him in so long,” my voice shook. “I thought I was past it.”

“You know that’s not how trauma works, sweetheart.”

I was shaking and crying. “He attacked me, they tried to blame it on me…”

“It wasn’t your fault. They tried to blame it on you, but it wasn’t your fault.” His arms were wrapped around me, holding me close. “You’re safe now, it’s okay.”

I looked up at him, “You’re going to protect me?”

“I’ll always protect you, just like you protect me.” Spencer kissed my forehead. “I promise.”

***

I guess I managed to fall asleep, because I woke up early the next morning on Spencer’s chest, hearing his soft breathing. I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“Hey, are you awake?” He whispered.

I nodded, smiling at the deep sound in his chest. “Did you get any sleep?”

“A little,” he answered. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

We were silent for a few seconds.

“I want to help you heal, whatever that means for you.” Spencer ran his hands through my hair. “If that means being your submissive, I’ll do that. If it means being dominant, I’ll do that for you. I just want to make sure you feel safe with me.”

I smiled and cuddled closer to him. “I’m not sure what I need right now… Can we just stay here?”

“If we get attacked by the kids, it’s your fault.” Spencer teased.

“I’ll take that chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo trauma  
> I promise this will be resolved
> 
> Happy turkey day!


	70. Submission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of smut

“Remind me, what are your safewords?” Spencer asked, one finger under my chin making me look up at him.

“Red or kiwi for stop, yellow for check in.” I answered confidently.

“Good.” Spencer smiled at me, then picked up a blindfold and knelt in front of me. “Can I put this on?”

I nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

He gently pulled it over my head, hand trailing down my cheek, then wrapping around my neck, pulling me into a kiss. I gasped a little before relaxing into him.

“Spread your legs, hands behind your back.” I heard him move away.

I obeyed, shifting to spread my legs as far as I could, pushing my shoulders back to present, clasping my hands. I waited, focusing on my breathing.

_I’m safe._

I heard him walk back. “Such a good slut for me.”

I smiled at the praise. I heard him move behind me, felt his hands on my arms. He pulled me closer to him, wrapping one hand around my neck to pull me against him.

“My little pet.” He growled. “So good for me.”

I smiled and relaxed. My skin pressed against his, I could feel his warmth, his breath against my neck. His other hand ran down my hips and between my legs, barely brushing my clit. I gasped and bucked forward, then relaxed again.

“There you go, let me pleasure you.” Spencer praised.

_I’m letting Spencer do this. I’m in control._

I heard some movement, then the hum of a vibrator. I tensed in anticipation, moaning when Spencer put it against my clit.

“Good, don’t hold back.” Spencer’s hand tightened a little around my throat.

I whined and moaned, grinding forward. “Fuck, Sir.” I was fighting to keep my thighs spread, hands clenching in pleasure.

Spencer’s hand left my throat and pulled my hair back, allowing him to mark my neck. I knew the marks he left would be dark and not easy to hide; I didn’t care.

“You’re feeling this pleasure because I’m letting you,” Spencer growled in my ear. “Understood?”

“Yes, Sir!” I gasped, unable to stop myself from grinding forward. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“You better ask before you cum, slut.”

I nodded desperately. “Fuck, please, Sir, please let me cum. You’re making me feel so good, please let me feel good for you, please.”

He pulled the vibrator away from me.

“No, please,” I whined, “Please, Sir.”

“Color?”

“Green, please, please let me cum for you.” I groaned.

He put the vibrator against my clit again, and I knew I was close to my orgasm again.

“Please, Sir, please, let me cum,” I was grinding forward against the toy, “Oh, fuck, please, Sir.”

Spencer leaned forward, biting my ear, voice deep in my ear. “Cum for me.”

I almost screamed in pleasure, moaning, unable to even form words. My hips bucked up against the vibrator, body pushing back against Spencer as I moaned. As I slowly came down from the orgasm, muscles twitching with pleasure, breath heavy. I heard Spencer turn the vibrator off and shift, allowing him to kiss me. I smiled and kissed him back between breaths.

“Color?” He asked.

“Green.”

I heard him shift again, felt him wrap his arms around me. “Wrap your legs around me, pet, hold on.”

I immediately obeyed. I felt him lift me up, pulling me close to him. He placed me down on the bed, allowing me to relax against the soft sheets. I felt Spencer get onto the bed, settling between my legs. Before I could say anything, I felt Spencer’s tongue at my clit, his breath hot against my pussy.

“Such a pretty little hole for me to use,” Spencer circled by clit with his tongue between words. “I can see how much you want me.”

“Spence- Sir, please,” I gasped, fingers digging into the sheets. “Please make me feel good.”

“Have you earned it?” He asked teasingly. “Do you think you deserve to be pleasured by me?”

_Oh, you want to play that game?_

Spencer hadn’t bound my hands, so I reached up and pulled my blindfold off, sitting up, meeting his eyes. I pulled his hair lightly, making him look at me.

“You’re going to pleasure me because I say so.” I growled.

I saw the flash of submission in his eyes, but he also knew I wanted a challenge. I wanted to know I was in control.

“Did I tell you to take that off?” He asked, matching my tone. “Did you ask permission?”

I smiled and leaned forward, shifting so I was above him. “I don’t need to, my little whore.”

He picked me up and turned so I was under him, his knees on either side of my hips, his hands next to my shoulders. “Who’s the whore here?”

I put one hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close to me. “Just because you’re on top doesn’t mean you’re in charge. You’re still mine.” As I said that, I was slowly pulling one leg out from under him, slowly moving it around his hips until my heel was on the small of his back. Before he could react, I pushed down, shoving his hips against me. “You’re my submissive, and you’ll do what I say.”

I saw the flash in his eyes and the shift in body language; the change to his submissive side. “Yes, Mistress.” He whispered.

_I’m in control._

“Good.” I smiled and pulled him into a kiss. “Now, you’re going to fuck me, because I want you to. You’re going to pleasure me until I am satisfied, and I don’t care whether you cum or not.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

I moved to lean against the headboard and spread my legs. Spencer immediately followed, stroking himself a little before looking up at me for permission.

I nodded. “Go on, fuck me like the little slut you are.”

Spencer slowly pushed in, gasping at the feeling, trying to control himself from thrusting all the way in. Once he was all the way in, hips flush against mine, he looked up at me. I smiled and nodded, silently giving him permission to move. He braced his hands on either side of my head, thrusting quickly, desperately. His deep moans mixed with my higher noises. I pulled him towards me, kissing and gasping in pleasure.

“Mine,” I moaned, “My little whore, so good for me. Making me feel so good.”

“Mistress feels good because of me?” He asked.

_Spencer wants to help me._

I nodded. “So- ah, fuck, so good.” I wrapped my legs around him, allowing him to thrust deeper.

“Mistress, I want to cum, please.” Spencer whined, “Please.”

I pulled Spencer into a kiss, “Cum with me, pet.”

Spencer buried his head in my neck, moaning, thrusting a few more times before stilling inside me. I came as I felt him release, clenching around him, legs shaking. We stayed like that for a few seconds, both breathing heavily.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

Spencer moved his hands away from the headboard and moved away, pulling out as he did. “That’s one way to put it.”

I smiled and leaned over to kiss him. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he kissed me and pulled me into a hug. “That was fun.”

“It really helped, just… knowing I can be safe in either situation. That you’re watching out for me either way.” I cuddled against his chest. “You make me feel safe, Spence.”

“You’re always safe with me.” He promised.

***

I woke up to Spencer kissing down my chest, hands trailing gently down my sides. He looked up as my breath quickened and I groaned a little, stretching.

“Good morning, ma’am,” he smiled, moving up to kiss me. “Did you sleep well?”

I hummed happily. “You tired me out last night, I slept like a rock.”

“No nightmares?”

I shook my head. “Nothing, I don’t even remember any of my dreams.” I kissed him again. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” Spencer pulled me close to him, allowing me to push my butt against him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I smiled, wiggling my ass against him. “You should continue what you were doing before I woke up.”

“Is that an order?” He teased, one hand running over my collarbone.

I turned to face him, “I just want to be with you, forget our dynamic.”

Spencer smiled and kissed me, “Of course, my love.”

He pulled me onto his lap, deepening our kiss. I smiled and ground forward against him, cupping his cheek with one hand, my thumb running over his cheekbone.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered, pressing my forehead against his.

Spencer leaned back, allowing him to kiss down my chest. “That’s you, darling.”

“You too,” I pouted, kissing him again.

“Fine.” He pulled me closer, “As long as you are too.”

I kissed him again as I reached down to stroke him, rubbing the head with my thumb, making Spencer whine against my lips.

“I thought we were ignoring the dynamic,” he groaned. “This isn’t fair.”

“I didn’t say I’d play fair,” I smiled, but stopped teasing him.

“I want to fuck you,” Spencer whispered against my lips. “I want to be inside you.”

I shifted up and lowered myself onto his cock, enjoying his moans of pleasure. I kissed him as I settled down, clenching and grinding against him.

“You’re so fucking sexy, you know that?” He whispered against my lips. “So pretty, so sexy, mine.”

“And you’re mine,” I smiled, kissing him as I began riding him.

His hands shifted down to my hips, fucking up into in synch with my movements. I suddenly froze.

“Is Deanna home?” I asked.

“No, remember, she’s at her friend’s house.” Spencer answered immediately. “Jessica, they’re an 8-minute drive away.”

I sighed in relief, “Okay, we’re good, we can be loud.”

“Hell yeah, we can.” Spencer smiled and pulled me into a kiss, sitting up so I was on my knees. He turned me around, “Get on your hands and knees, (Y/N).”

I smiled and did, pushing my ass out and wiggling it. Spencer smacked my ass lightly, then pushed into me, making me moan loudly.

“That’s it, don’t hold back,” he encouraged, “Your moans are so pretty.”

“Fuck me, Spence, don’t just stay still,” I growled.

I could hear the smile in his voice. “Whatever you say, honey.”

Spencer grabbed my hips and moved them in synch with his thrusts, groaning with pleasure. His voice was still a little scratchy and deep from sleep, which just made it even hotter. He reached around to rub my clit, moaning as I clenched around him.

“You’re going to make me cum, Spence,” I dug my fingers into the sheets.

“Cum when you want,” he encouraged, “You don’t have to ask.”

I tensed and relaxed as my orgasm washed over me, moaning, closing my eyes as they rolled back in pleasure. Spencer fucked me through my orgasm, fingers unceasing, making me whine.

“So sexy,” he groaned, “You’re so beautiful, you sound so pretty when you cum.”

I could feel my second orgasm approaching quickly, twitching as Spencer’s fingers somehow sped up. “I’m not going to last long- fuck, Spence-”

“Hold on for me, I’m close,” he answered, voice somehow deeper and scratchier, “I want to cum with you.”

I focused on my breathing, legs shaking, trying to hold back my orgasm. Spencer’s moans were growing louder, his hips jerking, pattern breaking.

“Fuck, cum with me.” He gasped, pulling my hips against him, “Cum.”

I immediately did, moaning, legs and arms giving up. The only reason I wasn’t completely on the bed twitching in pleasure was because Spencer was holding me up, both hands now holding my hips, nails digging into my skin.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Spencer moaned.

I managed to regain a little strength, pulling away from him and turning onto my back, sweat sticking my hair to my face, a tired smile on my lips. “That’s you, Spence.”

“You too,” he leaned down to kiss me, “My sexy wife.”

I smiled and pulled him down onto me. “My perfect husband.”

_Spencer Reid, my husband, is keeping me safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEET WRITING STREAK  
> HAPPY THANKSGIVING


	71. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M's first case, and cute domestic bliss

“So, I heard you get to go on your first case tomorrow.” I smiled as M walked in. “How are you feeling?”

They shrugged, “Nervous, excited, kind of scared too, I guess.”

“All understandable. Do you want some advice?”

Their eyes went wide, “Please.”

“Treat it like the simulation. The team’s dealt with the worst, they’ve seen close to everything. And they want you to succeed. Ask for help, do your best, and always remember Hotch has an ankle holster.”

They raised an eyebrow.

“Ask Hotch and Reid on the plane, it’s a story worth hearing.” I advised. “But, really, we wouldn’t bring you into the field if we didn’t think you were ready.”

“Thank you, Agent,” they smiled.

I nodded, “I’m just helping to provide the invitation you deserve.”

***

“Interrogation tactics must be adapted to the specific unsub,” I reminded the class. “The exact words you use may vary and will give different results.”

“What are the most common words that may make a difference?” Someone asked.

“Good question,” I responded, “Something as simple as girl versus woman may elicit different reactions. Child versus daughter or son, killed versus murdered. Different words for sex. If an unsub has left notes at the scenes, consider using their language. If they’re killing on a specific date, use words that remind them of the trigger or stressor. Always be watching the unsub and how they react. Adapt to the unsub.”

I waited for a few seconds for questions and taking notes. There were a few murmurs, but no more questions.

“We’re going to be doing two case reviews. Everyone will be given the same interrogation transcripts. For both, I want you to go through, identify the strategies used, and point out how the agents adapted to the unsub. For the second one, you will notice that we actually brought in one of the possible future victims; this case is the Son of Sam copycat. Identify the strategies used before and after the potential victim was brought in and the different reaction from the unsub.” I pulled out the stacks of transcripts from my bag. “We’ll be ending class early so you can begin work on this; if you have any questions, come up and ask.”

I walked off the stage, passing out the transcripts, answering a few basic questions about annotation before going back to my desk.

**_Message from: Daddy <3  
_ ** **Just landed. M’s already doing great.**

**_Message to: Daddy <3  
_ ** **Thank you. Be safe, I love you.**

**_Message from: Daddy <3  
_ ** **I love you too.**

***

I pulled up to Deanna’s school and texted her, waiting in the parking lot. I scrolled idly through my phone, windows rolled down, when I heard shouting. I immediately shot up, hand going to my hip. My gun was under my jacket, but still easily accessible. I got out, walking quickly towards the source of the noise.

“Shut the fuck up!” Someone yelled. “Just leave me alone.”

_That sounds like Deanna._

I rounded the corner to see a bunch of people in a circle, laughing at someone.

“You thought you could hide that your parents are fucking feds and you’re a pity adoption?” A different voice teased. “They don’t even love you, do they?”

“Why do you care?” Deanna spat. “They’re not your parents.”

“Are they training you to be a fed like they are? You’re going to be a narc?” That was a female voice.

“Maybe she’s not even really a student,” another voice, “Maybe she’s just here to tell the cops what we’re up to.”

“Better get rid of her, then.”

_Get the hell away from my daughter._

I took my hand off my gun, hid my badge, and took off my jacket, tossing it over my arm. I undid one button, so I looked more casual; more like a teacher than a cop.

“Sorry, excuse me,” I said as I approached, “Is something wrong?” I shot Deanna a look that meant _You don’t recognize me._

“No, ma’am, nothing at all.” One of the people I’d heard earlier. “Sorry about blocking the sidewalk.”

“I heard shouting, are all of you okay?” I looked around, barely able to not run over to Deanna.

“Yes, ma’am,” one of the girls said, “We’re sorry.”

I looked around, but no one met my eyes.

_Okay, I’ll play your way._

I turned my attention to Deanna. “You’re sure everything is okay?”

I saw the malicious smile in her eyes, but before she could say something, the first guy to speak cut in.

“Everything’s fine.” He said, physically moving in front of her. “We already said that.”

“I didn’t ask you. You already answered.” My voice was calm, but I was angry. “Is this how you show respect?”

“You’re just a high school teacher.” He spat.

_Oh, honey._

I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my wallet. I flipped it open, revealing my FBI identification badge. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I’d been demoted.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked. I could see the ‘I fucked up’ look in his eyes, but he tried to remain calm. “What are the feds doing at our school?”

“Well, apparently, this young woman is now reporting to me about all the bad things you’re up to.” I smiled wider. “So, I guess I’m doing that.”

His eyes widened. “I- oh- uh…”

“Use your words.” I looked around at the other students. “Here’s some advice for all of you. If you’re going to bully someone, don’t do it in the view of several security cameras.” I pointed out the two cameras that would have captured the entire thing. “So I’d suggest you get away from my kid, now, because if this ever happens again I will show you all what the inside of a cell at Quantico looks like. Got it?”

The boy wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. And if I ever catch a whiff of you even looking at my kid the wrong way, no one will ever find your body.” I leaned forward. “Now scram.”

They all rushed away, silent, never looking at myself or Deanna.

I tucked my ID back in my jacket and smiled at Deanna. “Ready to go?”

Her eyes were wide. “Uh… yeah.”

We were silent until we got to the car. Deanna got into the passenger seat, and we both burst out laughing.

“Holy shit, that was amazing.” She snorted. “I could’ve handled that, you know.”

I shrugged, “I know, but it was fun.”

“Daniel looked about ready to piss himself. Fucking asshole.”

“You’re sure you’re okay, though?” I asked, looking over at her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She was smiling. “I was about to punch him when I saw you walking up, I figured you’d have fun.”

“Oh, I did.” I smiled. “I was about to deck him too, but I figured it was probably not the best idea. You should report all of them, though, just to make sure it’s on the school’s radar.”

“I will.”

“How does ice cream from your narc mom sound?” I teased.

“Oh jeez,” she laughed, “I don’t know, you’d do that for your pity adoption?”

“You know that’s not why we adopted you,” I told her. “You’re a great kid, Deanna, and a great sister to Tobias and Maeve. We love having you in the family.”

“I know.” She smiled at me and clipped her seatbelt. “Let’s get some ice cream.”

***

**_Message from: Hotch  
_ ** **Debriefing the case @ briefing room. Want you here.**

**_Message to: Hotch  
_ ** **Finishing class, then I’ll be up.**

I finished passing out feedback and answering questions, then left to go to the elevators, organizing my papers in my bag as the elevator went up, stepping out on the BAU’s floor. I walked through the bullpen and into the briefing room, where the entire team was around the table. There was a seat between M and Spencer, which I took.

“It’s good to see you,” Penelope smiled at me. “So, we’d normally do this on the plane, and much less formally, but since you’re still learning, we’re going to do this as we should.”

M smiled and nodded, already beginning to take notes. I paid attention to their notes, one hand entwined in Spencer’s. It felt weird to be hearing about this case for the first time, since this had been my workplace for so long. The debriefing was short and easy, and most of the team filed out. Hotch requested I stay behind with M.

“Is everything okay?” They asked as Spencer closed the door behind him.

Hotch nodded, “This is also routine, especially since you’re still learning. You didn’t do anything wrong; I just want to talk to both of you.”

I looked at M. “How do you feel about the case?”

“Pretty well for my first time,” they smiled nervously. “Not as dramatic as some of the cases you’ve described.”

“That’s a good thing.” I nodded.

“You did extremely well for your first case, M.” Hotch gave them one of his rare smiles. “I was impressed with how calm you were, even facing the unsub.”

“You faced the unsub?” I asked, surprised.

They nodded. “Hotch suggested I go into interrogation. I got it in under 10 minutes.”

“Even the local officers were impressed,” Hotch nodded at me. “They learned from one of the best.”

“What do you want to do moving forward?” I asked, looking between them.

“I’ll talk to the director, but they’ll probably want you to stay in the academy until the end of the year, it’s protocol.” Hotch answered. “One or two cases is fine, even common, but you do still have training to go through.”

“Understood.” M nodded.

“We do want you working personally with Agent (Y/N), though, to ensure you’re ready for the job. You’ll do after-class tutoring, you two will have to coordinate schedules,” he continued, “If there are local cases, we may ask to take you on those, dependent on your schedule.”

“That makes sense.” M nodded. “Thank you, Agent Hotchner.”

“You have nothing to thank me for. The reason you’re being offered this is because of your skill. You proved yourself this week. I’m looking forward to see how you progress.” He nodded at us both. “You’re dismissed.”

We both stood and walked out. As soon as the door closed behind us, M turned to me, a smile bright on their face.

“That was probably the coolest experience ever.” They were beaming. “I mean, it was scary, yeah, but that was amazing.”

“You did a good job, M. Hotch rarely smiles, he’s practically a statue, but he was proud of you. That was clear.” I couldn’t help but smile back at them. “Go home, rest up and we’ll discuss tutoring on Monday.”

“Yes, Agent,” they smiled and practically bounced out of the bullpen, still smiling.

I sat next to Spencer’s desk, watching them leave.

“They were impressive,” Spencer told me, “You did a good job with them, they had good input, interacted well with the officers, and stayed calm facing the unsub.”

“I’m really happy, I was a little worried. You never know about agent’s first time in the field, but I was pretty confident about them.” I leaned forward to kiss him. “Thank you for watching out for them.”

“Get a room!” Morgan said, laughing at us.

I flipped him off, but he just stuck out his tongue at me. It felt almost odd, like I was home, but not really. My desk didn’t have any of my items on it anymore. This wasn’t my office space anymore.

“Hey, are you okay?” Spencer asked.

I nodded, realizing I’d become unfocused for a second. “Yeah, it’s just weird being back while not really being back.”

“Are you ready to go home? I already turned in my paperwork.” Spencer asked, picking up his bag.

I nodded, “Deanna’s already home with the kids, Jenna brought them home.”

***

Spencer laid on my chest, head resting between my breasts, arms wrapped around me. His breath was soft, coming out in soft puffs as he slept. I ran one hand up and down his back, enjoying the soft morning light. I heard whispering from outside but ignored it. I closed my eyes, holding Spencer close, relaxing.

I heard the door open and fast footsteps, and then screams.

“WAKE UP!” Maeve and Tobias yelled, climbing on the bed and jumping on us. “Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

My eyes opened as I sat up, laughing. Spencer had jerked up in surprise, then pulled Maeve into his lap, tickling her. She screamed and wriggled, laughter echoing around the room. I pulled Tobias into a hug and kiss, then began tickling him too. He scrambled, grabbing at my shoulders and hair, trying to escape, but he couldn’t. I looked up to see Deanna in the doorway, smiling, clearly having let them into our room. I laughed and stood, grabbing a shirt off the floor (luckily, I’d slept in my underwear). I picked up Tobias and put him on my hip, walking over to Deanna.

“You’re a troublemaker, kid,” I smiled and ruffled her hair. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” she smiled, “I made coffee, the little ones want pancakes.”

“Want pancakes!” Tobias agreed.

“Pancakes it is then.” I nodded and kissed his forehead. “Thanks for the coffee.”

We walked to the kitchen and I put Tobias down, getting the pancake ingredients out and measuring them into bowls. Spencer walked in; Maeve’s hand wrapped around two of his fingers. We helped the kids combine the ingredients and mix them, then started heating up the pan.

“You’re a great mom, you know that?” Spencer asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and whispering in my ear.

I hummed and kissed him. “And you’re a wonderful father.”

“GROSS!” Maeve and Tobias screamed in unison.

I turned and waved a spatula at them. “Do you want pancakes or not?”

They both mimed zipping their lips immediately.

“That’s what I thought.” I smiled and turned, kissing Spencer again.

Once there were five plates piled high with stacks of pancakes, Spencer and I brought them to the table. We cut up Maeve and Tobias’s pancakes for them (the other option was letting them rip the pancakes up) and helped them eat. Spencer covered his in maple syrup (seriously, how was he so thin?) and practically had to drink his pancake soup, making Deanna and I gag.

“This is seriously the man you chose to marry?” Deanna pointed at him with her fork. “Because that’s absolutely disgusting.”

I shrugged, “Every person has their faults. That’s pretty minor.”

“Um, no. That’s a serious addiction to sugar that’s horrifying.” She corrected.

“Have you seen how I make my coffee?” Spencer asked. “How did you not notice this before?”

“Okay, good point.” Deanna laughed.

I reached over under the table, squeezing Spencer’s hand. He smiled at me and squeezed mine. This just felt _right_ , having our children and our home, just able to be happy.

“Alright, who wants seconds?” I asked, standing up.

Deanna raised her hand, “I can make them, if you want.”

“I’ve got it.” I waved her off. “Besides, you wouldn’t want your dad and I making heart-eyes at each other at the table the entire time, would you?”

“Gross, mom!” She exclaimed.

I froze.

She froze.

I almost started crying. “You just… you called me mom.”

“Well, yeah,” Deanna smiled and shrugged, “You are.”

I pulled her into a hug, unable to hold in my tears. “Thank you,” I whispered.

Spencer stood, wrapping his arms around both of us.

“You know I see you as my parents,” Deanna told us. “I just… I guess I was scared to call you mom and dad.”

“We love you, Deanna.” Spencer kissed her forehead.

She leaned closer to us, shaking with tears. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm now writing the last chapter and I'm definitely not crying.
> 
> There will be a sequel! I'm very excited to continue this story.


	72. Epilogue

Deanna graduated high school and got into her dream college. As we helped her pack, I cried, promising to send her monthly care packages and call often.

“Stay safe,” I reminded her. “We’re always available.”

“I know, mom. I’ll be okay.” She smiled and pulled me into a hug. “Now please just let me get on the plane.”

Maeve and Tobias started kindergarten, already able to read. Spencer read them books about nuclear fission at bedtime, making them spout facts I barely understood. I laughed every time they came into the office and explained how Penelope’s computers were constructed.

Agent M Harper, who we all jokingly called James Bond, had finished their training and formally begun at the BAU. Spencer mentored them between puzzle games that they completed faster than the rest of us could get through the first clue.

“Cheers to the newest member of the BAU, Special Agent M!” I raised my glass. “Kick ass and takes names, kid, you’re going to be great.”

“Yes!” Spencer grinned. “I’m not kid anymore!”

“Sure, pretty boy.” M teased. “You can believe that.”

Everyone laughed as Spencer stuck his tongue out at her.

“You’re a good person and a great agent. That’s what matters on this team.” Hotch gave them a small smile. “Welcome to the team.”

It didn’t feel like toasting my replacement, but welcoming the next generation. I’d served my time and now was a teacher, helping the next group of agents figure out the craziness of the FBI.

“What can I call you now?” M asked me. “Still agent? Or do I get the privilege of calling you by your last name, since that’s a theme here.”

I shrugged. “I told you on your first day of class, M; just don’t call me ma’am. My name works fine.”

“Yeah,” Morgan laughed, “Ma’am is reserved for-”

“Derek!” I cut him off. “No.”

“It’s okay, I had my suspicions.” M smirked. “I did profile Reid was the submissive partner. It’s not surprising. And judging by the lack of reactions, so did everyone else.”

Well, they did have a point there.

I’d widened my course load, now teaching two profiling courses; one on witness profiling and one on unsubs. I continued coordinating regular simulations with all FBI academy students, regularly getting the BAU team involved; it was a nice break for all of us, and they helped with giving feedback.

Life was good.

***

I walked into my lecture hall to find a note in Spencer’s handwriting. I smiled and began to read, thinking it was first-day-back encouragement.

In the minute it took to read it, my world came crashing down.

_Spencer, please, hold on for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I sorry?  
> A little bit.


	73. Chapter List (Smut or Plot)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't an actual chapter. It's just me writing down which chapters are smut if you just want to read those.

Chapter 1: The Beginning of Something Special - Smut (with a little plot in the beginning)

Chapter 2: Negotiations - Plot

Chapter 3: Discussions - Plot

Chapter 4: Shopping - Plot, but kinky

Chapter 5: Explorations - Plot

Chapter 6: Bagels - Plot

Chapter 7: Best Friends - Plot

Chapter 8: Back at the Office - Plot

Chapter 9: Late Lunch & Playtime - Smut

Chapter 10: New Cases - Plot

Chapter 11: New Words - Smut

Chapter 12: Words Better Left Said - Smut & cute fluff/plot

Chapter 13: The Party - Smut

Chapter 14: Case Word - Plot & angst (TW: K!dnapping, child @buse, guns)

Chapter 15: Not Your Princess - Plot & angst

Chapter 16: Lost - Plot & angst

Chapter 17: Reunions - Plot

Chapter 18: Reparations - Smut (Including Dom Spencer)

Chapter 19: Drinks With Friends - Plot

Chapter 20: Primal - Smut (Dom Spencer)

Chapter 21: Moving Forward - Plot

Chapter 22: Naughty - Smut (Emily Prentiss/Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid/Reader)

Chapter 23: Shopping for Love - Plot & fluff

Chapter 24: This Is The Job - Plot

Chapter 25: The Risks - Plot & angst

Chapter 26: New Beginnings - Smut & plot

Chapter 27: Dresses & Dreams - Plot

Chapter 28: Strangulation - Smut & plot (Smut first, plot contains r*pe, child r*pe, and domestic @b*se)

Chapter 29: T Minus 1 Month - Plot & smut

Chapter 30: T Minus 1 Week - Plot

Chapter 31: The Wedding - Plot (adorable fluff)

Chapter 32: Honeymoon Pt. 1 - Smut

Chapter 33: Honeymoon Pt. 2 - Smut

Chapter 34: Honeymoon Pt. 3 - Smut

Chapter 35: Home Again - Smut (& some plot)

Chapter 36: New People - Plot

Chapter 37: Relaxation - Smut (Reader/Spencer/Sub!Aaron Hotchner)

Chapter 38: Punishment - Smut

Chapter 39: New Conversations - Plot & smut

Chapter 40: Shots Fired - Plot

Chapter 41: New Rules - Plot

Chapter 42: The Bet - Plot

Chapter 43: You Can Take It - Smut (Reader/Spencer and Reader/Spencer/Sub!Hotch)

Chapter 44: Announcement: Plot

Chapter 45: Past Problems, Present Cases, Future Hopes (TW: Contains mentions of s3lf h@rm & scars)

Chapter 46: Pretty Boy's Ideas - Smut (Morgan/Spencer/Reader)

Chapter 47: The Next Generation - Plot & smut

Chapter 48: Three Months - Plot

Chapter 49: New Additions - Plot

Chapter 50: The Second Party - Smut. So much smut. (OFC (Jenna)/Spencer/Reader and Spencer being fucked by randos)

Chapter 51: Beg - Smut (& some fluff/plot)

Chapter 52: Miss Penelope Garcia - Smut (Penelope Garcia/Spencer/Reader), sub!Garcia

Chapter 53: My Lady, Penelope Garcia - Smut (Penelope Garcia/Spencer/Reader), soft dom!Garcia

Chapter 54: Grandson of Sam - Plot

Chapter 55: A Bad Situation - Plot (Including age regression)

Chapter 56: Do Whatever You Need To - Plot

Chapter 57: Before The Gunshot - Plot

Chapter 58: What She Needed To Do - Plot

Chapter 59: My Sweet Little Prince - Plot

Chapter 60: Tease - Smut

Chapter 61: Daddy - Smut (Dom!Hotch/Spencer/Reader)

Chapter 62: The Time After - Smut (Hotch/Spencer/Reader) and Plot

Chapter 63: What Do I Do Now - Plot and angst

Chapter 64: Welcome Home - Plot with some smut 

Chapter 65: New Beginnings - Plot with some very dirty office smut

Chapter 66: Panic - Plot

Chapter 67: Teacher's Pet - Plot with semi-public smut

Chapter 68: Private Dance - Plot

Chapter 69: Simulation - Plot

Chapter 70: Submission - Smut. Shameless smut

Chapter 71: Family - Plot

Chapter 72: Epilogue - Plot


End file.
